Note: not at all pleased with the way this chapter turned out, been sitting on this for a few days just because I hate releasing chapters before I'm satisfied with them but I've reached that point where I need to move on and cone back to this if I have any hope of getting it to read the way I want it to so I'll probably come back to this and edit it a little at some point.

I've got an update for Finding Salvation in the Dark and I've done that thing again where I had an idea that wouldn't leave me be so I have started on another fic which I may post the first chapter too soon.

Hope you're all doing good

Love Nell xoxo

~Irena's POV~

Arriving at Bella's home that morning I couldn't help but feel more than a little apprehensive. Last night was a difficult one for us all and my family and I were vampires with exceptional control and hundreds of years of experience. It pained me to imagine the level of turmoil my little mate had experienced and I worried for her mental health this morning.

We had no idea what we would arrive to find, we all half expected an equally distraught girl as she had been last night, which we wouldn't and couldn't blame her for now that we knew the truth of all that had happened to her. Though when she opened the door none of us expected to see the sight in front of us.

Gone was the emotional, hurt girl from last night and instead was a freshly showered, well dressed stoic young lady in her place. My mate looked as if she were about to go to war and despite the situation I couldn't help the shiver of pleasure and excited growl of my beast at the sight of her. Determination and strength shinning in her eyes. The look was appealing and it took every bit of self control I possessed not to go to my mate and kiss her senseless. It made me thankful that my little mate was still human and couldn't smell the effect she had on me. The last thing I wanted to do was make her feel any pressure or make her uncomfortable.

"Gross Irena, that's my baby sister" Kate murmured flashing me a mock look of disgust. I glared back playfully bumping my hip against hers as we followed my Isabella into her living room and I was just as grateful that Kate had spoken at a volume much to low for my human mates ears.

"I hope you slept well Bella?" Our coven leader spoke up as we settled around the room. Bella blushed a little as she sat before looking back at Tanya and nodding slightly. "I think so, thank you" she replied but didn't say anything else as she looked around the room at us all expectantly.

"We are glad, thank you for sharing what you did with us last night Bella, I know it was difficult and I am sorry we had to force that conversation onto you, I hope though that you understand how little choice we had in it" Tanya's tone was sympathetic but no less commanding than usual and I could see that yet again she was portraying the coven leader role in full sight for this conversation.

I glanced back at Bella, studying her face in hopes of getting a better understanding of how she was feeling, a little more than worried about just how emotionally detached she seemed to be. As much as this fierce front she was showing did things to me, I did not want her bottling up her emotions because eventually they would catch up with her and I'm not too sure she would cope all to well when that happens. Reading her face I could see the slight surprise and pain at Tanya's apology but it was quickly covered with an unbothered expression.

My mate really was trying to handle this without giving away her true emotions.

"I understand Tanya, as much as I don't like it. I appreciate your willingness to help with Victoria" Bella replied diplomatically, smiling a little.

"Its alright Bella, you're one of us, as we said last night, we would not ever abandon you or sit idly by with your life or your fathers life in danger. That is why we are here, we had a discussion when we left last night about how best to protect you and wanted your input" the conversation continued and I could see that Kate, Carmen and Eleazer were just as uncomfortable as me with Bella's complete emotional detachment. The atmosphere felt far to clinical to be comfortable and it was clear to see just how hard my little mate was having to try to hold herself together.

My human was deliberately avoiding eye contact at this point and I could see how it was slowly but surely grating at my sister. As our coven leader, she was an extremely dominant person, as she required to be to successfully lead an entire coven of very different yet equally as strong supernatural creatures. As such though one thing my sister would never let pass was disrespect and that meant when you spoke to her, you gave her the eye contact she deserved. My little mate was unknowingly slighting my usually so controlled older sister and I knew it wouldn't be long before Tanya corrected her.

"What was discussed" Bella asked and I got the impression she had sensed the tension in the room going by the slight tremor that had appeared in her voice. For the next half hour Tanya went over our plan of defence. Telling Bella we felt it best that there was always a vampire on hand to watch over her and her father while the rest of the coven worked on tracking Victoria down. We would switch with each other so we all could still hunt and have down time as well. Bella had voiced that she wasn't sure how she felt about anyone guarding her but knew she didn't really have much choice in the matter despite being asked for her opinion.

It was then that Tanya finally had enough of my mate avoiding eye contact and being as emotionally detached as she could manage. In a flash she was kneeling in front of Bella, her hand grasping my mates chin, bringing her head up and gently forcing her to establish eye contact.

"It's highly rude to avoid eye contact when I speak to you Isabella. I do not except it from any other member of this coven, you are no different" Tanya's tone was stern and if I hadn't had a thousand years to harden myself against it I too probably would have flinched a little like Bella did at her tone.

She gulped nervously but to her credit she remained looking at our coven leader and it was like the simple act of making eye contact had somehow forced my Bella's emotions back on as her face crumpled slightly and silent tears began to fall down her face. It took every bit of self control I possessed not to give into the urge I felt to go to my mate and soothe her but I knew I had to trust in my coven leader. She had spoken to me privately before we had arrived today about Bella. I had voiced my concerns at how much she seemed to fight against the bonds we all share with her. Knowing fine well that it must be exhausting to do so. No matter if she is human and not a vampire yet we knew she felt them, her reactions last night had confirmed that and I didn't want her being affected negatively by her own determination to fight the bonds she had.

Tanya had reassured me that no matter what the bonds would win out, it might just take a little longer than normal. After everything Bella had been put through by another coven her fear and will to keep herself detached from us was understandable and we would all be there to support her as she came to terms with it, respecting her boundaries and allowing her to take her own time to accept that she was now a part of us. My beast didn't like the prospect of having to wait for our mate but rationally I know it is important for our bond that I show my Isabella that she can trust me.

"I'm sorry, I just don't know how to deal with having you all around me. I want to be able to trust you but I'm scared" Bella whispered and despite the way that knowledge hurt my long dead heart I had to quickly hide the small smile that formed without consent. Despite hating that my mate was upset and scared of letting us in, her admitting how she felt to Tanya was a step forward. It meant that somewhere deep down Bella had just shown our coven leader that she did in fact trust her or she wouldn't have been so honest about how she was feeling.

"I know little one and again I hate what they did to you, but we are not them Isabella, we will not abandon you. You are ours. Our family, Irena's mate. My sister and we will remind you of that fact as often as it takes for you to finally believe it" the gentleness in Tanya's tone along with the words of reassurance seems to be enough for now to soothe our human. Bella offering Tanya a small smile which Tanya returned before squeezing her hand and choosing to sit on the arm of the chair beside Bella as she began to talk to us all about scheduling. Bella far more at ease than she had been as she offered suggestions and voiced her opinion.

At the end of our hour long conversation we had agreed with Bella that there would be one of us following her at all times, we would swap out every morning and every evening after dinner. We had even got her to agree to spending weekends at our coven home. She had agreed only because she felt it would mean our coven would actually get to spend time together and get a break from standing guard. Something we had reassured her that even if she hadn't agreed we would still have regular breaks and still have time to spend with one another.

Though we didn't argue because regardless of the reasons she had for spending time with us it wasn't something any of us wanted to pass up and the more time she spent around us the more I could prove myself to her.

After the Denali's had left I retreated to my room, needing a few moments of seclusion to wind down from having them so near.

After last night I had been determined not to allow emotion to rule me today. I had been determined to take back what little control I could over the situation, though I had failed dramatically once Tanya had moved into my personal space. There was something startling about the way she carried herself, and her eyes when they were locked on my own made me feel as if I had no choice but to be honest with her. She carried herself with such composure and commanded the respect and obedience of those around her and I could see clearly why it was her that was coven leader and not anyone else.

I was grateful that they wanted to help with Victoria, the thought of anyone harming my father was something that hurt more than I dare let myself think about and if being around the Denali's was what it took to ensure that he remains safe then that was worth any discomfort on my part.

I sighed deeply as I snuggled into my pillow, pulling my blanket around me tighter. If I were being completely honest with myself it wasn't the Denali's that made me uncomfortable nor was it being around them. What I was really struggling with was just how much I wanted to be near them. How safe I felt in their presence and how I had already found myself caring about each and every one of them. It scared me, how quickly I had become attached to them and even though I knew now that it was the bond between Irena and I at work I still feared a repeat of the Cullen's. I was scared to relax with them, to fully let down my walls just in case.

Irena was another issue all together. My attraction to her grew each day, the need to be near her was often suffocating and I knew the longer I fought it the harder to ignore it would become but the idea of being her mate had every self doubt I had ever had flooding through me. Letting her in meant being vulnerable and after Edward left me sobbing on the forest floor I didn't know how to be vulnerable with someone in the sense of an intimate relationship because somehow I sensed that Irena would be far more in tune with my emotions than Edward had ever been and that would mean I'd have to learn to share more of myself.

It had taken me so long to feel okay again after him and I didn't want to end up in the same position again despite the voice at the back of my mind telling me this time it was different. This time I had found my real mate and she would never hurt me. As my exhaustion finally started to win out I decided just to take my time with my relationship with the Denali's because only time would tell if they truly meant what they said.