Part Thirteen:

An End and A Beginning

A smiling Lisa looked up at Major Carter.

"It was great spending time with you, Sam! It was fun doing all those cool things."

As she knelt down, Carter beamed. In fact, Carter had such a friendly smile it was like she beamed whenever she smiled.

"I had a great time, too, Lisa."

"I hope to become just like you: a scientist who explores other worlds."

"That's nice to hear."

"I might not carry a zat, though!"

Carter laughed. "Good idea, Lisa. Go with explosives instead."

"Okay!"

"You can make explosives from stuff you find lying around the house." The one who spoke was Michael Westen, the burned ex-spy who helped ordinary people with his spy skills.

O'Neill gave Westen a look. "I thought you were confined to Miami."

"I was let out for good behavior, Colonel O'Neill," Michael said in a voice as a dry as the humid Florida air.

MacGyver, sporting a goofy smile, gestured with his thumb. "I taught him, too!"

"Okay," Lisa said with a hint of little girl impatience. "If we're done with this nonsense, I'm going to hug Sam now."

Lisa hugged Carter in an embrace that lasted quite a while.

"'Bye, Sam," she whispered.

"Goodbye, Lisa."

After one last wave goodbye to her new friend, Lisa ran to her mother.

"Good work, Mom!"

"You, too, Lisa! I'm very proud of you." After a hint of a smile, Marge adopted a more rueful look.

"I suppose now that you've met Major Carter, you don't want to be anything like your boring old mom."

"Mom! Don't say that!" Lisa said. "You let me do things you know will help me. It's because of you I can be anything I want to be."

There was no growl in Marge's throat, just a quality in her voice that suggested she was very touched.

"Thank you, Lisa. I appreciate that."

When the two hugged, the embrace lasted much longer than it did with Major Carter.

Carter didn't mind at all.

"That's nice," she said with a smile.

"Very nice," Daniel said.

"Some aspects of this are not so pleasant," Teal'c said with a scowl.

The reason for his scowl?

Homer and Bart. They danced and chanted before him.

"We defeated the Goa'uld! We defeated the Goa'uld!"

Teal'c started to power up his staff weapon, but O'Neill stepped in and waved an open palm in an "uh-uh" gesture.

"Guys? Want to take that somewhere else? Teal'c's getting kind of teed off."

Homer responded in a high-pitched mocking voice. "Oh! Teal'c's getting teed off! Oh, no!"

"Wanna take that somewhere else?" Bart said in a deep mocking voice.

More waving away from O'Neill. "Seriously, guys. You don't want to mess with Teal'c."

When they saw the deep scowl on Teal'c's face, they went off to dance in the vicinity of Sam Winchester and Olivia Dunham. Mulder, Scully and Thor watched with mild disinterest. In contrast, Teal'c maintained a steady angry look.

Though Teal'c looked angry and uninviting, Lisa ran over to him. As she looked up, she spoke in her enthusiastic excited little girl voice.

"High-five me, Teal'c!"

"I will not," he said in a cool voice as he turned his head away.

O'Neill waved a hand at him. "For crying out loud, Teal'c! Give the girl a high-five. Lisa did a great job with the Goa'uld!"

"As we all did, O'Neill."

"Yeah, okay," the colonel said uncertainly.

Daniel jumped in with an idea. "A high-five shows camaraderie," he said as he gave Teal'c a prompting look.

Teal'c considered, then: "Very well. I will high-five you, Lisa Simpson. But I will not enjoy it."

Maintaining a grim face, Teal'c bent down and looked away. As he did, he extended an open vertical palm at Lisa level. All smiles, Lisa enthusiastically slapped that hand.

Carter gave Teal'c a teasing smile. "Come on, Teal'c. Admit it. You enjoyed that just a little bit, didn't you?"

"I will admit no such thing."

Approaching the giant Teal'c, Bart reached up with his tiny right hand.

"High-five me, too, Teal'c!"

Teal'c looked away. "I will not."

"Why not?"

"Because, Bart Simpson. You and your father are most annoying."

"Yeah, okay. So are you!"

Teal'c blinked his eyes in surprise then decided on this.

"Very well. You may high-five me. But only if you can reach my hand."

Teal'c held up a vertical open palm at shoulder level (definitely not Bart level). Bart made several jumps, groaning loudly with each attempt. At each jump , Teal'c stoically declared, "Unsuccessful."

As this went on, Homer returned to do his dancing and chanting.

"I defeated the Goa'uld! I defeated the Goa'uld!"

Bart joined in.

"Me-ee, too-oo! Me-ee, too-oo!"

With a look more stoic and grim than usual, Teal'c promptly zapped Homer.

"D'oh!" he shouted as he fell face down.

"Hey!" Bart objected. "Why'd you zap my dad?"

Teal'c curled his lower lip. "Because, Bart Simpson, your father is most annoying."

"Yeah," O'Neill said with a sigh. "I gotta go with T. on this one, Bart. I kind of like your dad but he gets to be a bit much."

"As do you, O'Neill."

With that, Teal'c zapped O'Neill.

Instead of feeling the intense pain of a zat electrical charge, O'Neill felt a brief loss of oxygen. Reflexively, he gasped for air.

O'Neill shot awake. He tried to sit up but was unable to do so. As he craned his neck, he saw a familiar face.

"It's you," the colonel said in a weak groggy voice. "You're….him."

The man smiled, not in an entirely pleasant way. There was a hint of mockery and malice in that smile. And in the voice.

"I have that kind of face," he said. O'Neill felt the tightening of restraints as the man spoke. "Some say I look like Murdoch from the A-Team. Others say I look like Reginald Barclay from the 'Enterprise.'"

"Who? What?" O'Neill responded. Barely.

"People from other dimensions, my dear colonel. You wouldn't know them." He rested his elbows on O'Neill's chest as he pressed fists into his own lined cheeks. The smile was definitely mocking now. "Please, Colonel O'Neill. Don't concern yourself too much with such weighty matters as who I am or who I look like." With a horrible leer, he gave a light pat to the right side of O'Neill's face.

"Hey!" The colonel jerked his head away as he angrily squinted with his right eye. "Don't do that! Don't touch the face!"

"So sorry," the man said in a deep mocking voice as he made pouting lips. He then laughed, loud and shrieking.

Despite all this, O'Neill was able to focus.

"I know you. You're the Keeper."

The Keeper had hooked SG-1 up to virtual reality machines, forcing them to relive unpleasant memories over and over again. O'Neill had to admit that Springfield, even with a Goa'uld attack and Mr. Burns, was a lot more pleasant than that.

The man smiled as he leaned in.

"I am not the Keeper. That is my cousin Murray."

O'Neill frowned. "You have a cousin named Murray?"

There was that laugh again. The colonel audibly groaned as he winced.

"No, colonel, I do not. I am, in fact, simply messing with you."

"Then who are you?" he asked gruffly. He could feel the restraints but somehow felt numb in the rest of his body.

"You may call me the Evil Keeper."

"Okay. What can I do for you, Evil Keeper? Or rather, NOT do for you?" He asked this through gritted teeth. When he tried to struggle against the restraints, he could only wiggle his fingers.

Now the smile was full-on evil with the Evil Keeper resting his face on one hand, tapping his fingers on O'Neill's chest with the other.

"I am going to send you back into the virtual Springfield. While you live there, I will collect information from your subconscious. I will then sell that information to the Goa'uld."

Violently, O'Neill brought his head up. More correctly, he simply jerked his head up then it went back down.

"I'll find my way out!" His words had a slightly choked or gurgling quality as he strained to bring his head back up.

"No, colonel, you will not. Not this time. I will make you simply another simple-minded citizen of Springfield. Like Homer or Bart or Moe. All I have to do is increase the power on the memory eraser."

More violent jerking of the head, more gritting of the teeth, more gurgling.

"Making me forget won't be that easy!"

The snorting laugh was brief but full of derision. The smile spread lines all over the Evil Keeper's face.

"Don't be silly, Colonel O'Neill. With a mind as simple as yours, it will be very easy."

With that, O'Neill was plunged back into the virtual Springfield.