Mapleshade looked cautiously around. Her calico fur shone in the moonlight. Her large paws made gentle imprints in the grass as she trod on towards her destination, her head held low. Soon, she came to the RiverClan border. She hopped onto one of the many gray rocks and ran to the tom that stood waiting.
"Appledusk!" Mapleshade purred, her fluffy tail curling with delight. "How have you been?"
It had been a moon since they'd last met, so there was likely some form of news she could be informed of. The brown tabby's green eyes squinted with a smile.
"I've been well," Appledusk mewed in response. "The kits are doing fine, I presume?"
Their litter of three were four moons old and endlessly eager to get into trouble, except maybe quiet Larchkit. They were unaware of their half-Clan heritage, and were under the belief that they were deceased warrior Birchface's offspring.
"Yeah, they're great!" she replied happily. "Patchkit is spending more and more time with Ravenwing. I'm really thinking he'll be a medicine cat. Oh, and Petalkit-"
Appledusk dropped his smile. "Mapleshade, I don't really care." His light, charismatic voice had a foreign tone to it that she recognized only as spite.
Confusion swept over her and was visible on her face. Her grin turned into a puzzled frown. "What do you mean?" she asked him, but inwardly she already knew. She had to keep her fur from bristling.
"You know, I thought it was obvious," he meowed with a light chuckle. "Just young love. Good ol' fun. That's all it was for me from the start. You haven't felt the same?"
Mapleshade dug her claws into the ground. "No," she mewed almost quietly, her voice shaking. "I thought I meant something to you. Was it all a lie?"
"Not necessarily," he replied, his tone similar to if he were having a casual conversation about hunting spots. "I loved you once, but I realized my error and fell right out of that love soon enough. I just thought I might as well play along for a while to see what could come of it."
Mapleshade was speechless for several moments as she felt her heart drop and shatter. "We… you fathered my kits," she murmured breathlessly. "That was just a game to you? All of this was?"
"Actually, I fell out of love during your pregnancy. I felt kinda guilty at first, but then I realized it wasn't as if I'd ever be a father to them either way. Am I wrong?"
"No, but you could've told me when it happened," she told him. "Saved me the heartbreak of now. I would've understood, Appledusk."
Appledusk shrugged. "And I have a mate now, anyway. A real one. I have for some moons now. Her name's Reedshine, and she gave me pure RiverClan kits only a moon after your half-Clan litter was born."
Mapleshade immediately recalled the pregnancy announcement for said she-cat at a past Gathering. "You're the father of her kits?" Yet another strike pierced her heart.
"Of course. I just said that." His voice was so empty, careless. How could he talk like this when he'd once cooed over stories of their litter?
"Well, half-Clan or not, my kits are still yours. You can't change that."
"They're Birchface's now," he meowed, his eyes averted downward. "And besides, what do you expect me to do? Raise them from another Clan? Maybe you should've thought twice before breaking the code."
"I'm not the only one to blame here!" Mapleshade mewed, her sadness and shock turning to anger in an instant. "I thought we were in it together. Both of us agreed to be mates. Neither of us were forced into it. You're the one who was a manipulative liar!"
"Whatever you say. This is goodbye, Mapleshade. For good." He turned and quickly headed back towards the direction of RiverClan's camp.
Mapleshade stared after him for long after he disappeared. She felt tears come to her eyes, but she fought them back. She sat and kneaded her tail with her forepaws, trying to calm herself. She was overcome with a mixture of anger and sadness, and there was no clear dominant ingredient.
Eventually, she got to her paws and slowly padded back to camp. Her tail dragged behind her for a while, but she stopped suddenly and lifted it. Her amber eyes narrowed angrily.
"I'll show him," she muttered aloud. "We'll do just fine on our own."
Anger was stronger now as she lifted her head and continued walking. There was no mention of being loyal to RiverClan as Appledusk's reason. It was all about the fact that she was ThunderClan, and that he had another mate. She hadn't taken a living tom and made him a stand-in father, so why would he father a litter that wasn't hers?
Mapleshade snuck back into camp via the dirtplace. She stood, surveying the gorge with caution. No one seemed to be awake, with the exception of Deerdapple on guard right outside of the entrance. She silently stepped into the nursery. Doekit and Deerkit were nestled up next to their mother, Dawnfeather. The dappled queen walked past their nest and gently settled into her own.
Larchkit opened one pale yellow eye sleepily. "Is it morning?" he murmured.
"Go back to sleep," Mapleshade whispered as she rolled onto her side slowly. She closed her eyes, letting the tension her body held drain.
She felt Larchkit's sleepy gaze linger on her. "I'm hungry, Ma," he mewed quietly.
"You'll eat in the morning," she assured him, wanting nothing but to sleep her troubles away. "Come on. Bedtime now."
Larchkit scooted closer to her and nestled into her soft chest fur. "G'night."
Mapleshade rested her head on his little brown flank. "Goodnight. Sleep tight. Don't let the adders bite."
She lay awake no matter how much she wanted to sleep. Larchkit drifted away quickly, but it was no use for her. Dawn arrived before long, and she felt thoroughly exhausted while remaining trapped in a state of consciousness. Her kits soon awoke and ran outside to play in the cool newleaf air. She remained curled up.
After a while Mapleshade finally slept, yet her dreams were black and fruitless. She knew only that although no life had been lost, she wouldn't look forward to awakening. She would no longer be able to think of the father of her kits as the tom who would always be there for her.