Characters read Luffy's different Mama AU
By: FunahoMisaki
(A/N: I own nothing and read last chapter)
The book flashed to Big Mom's hand and she merely raised an eyebrow as she opened the now much bigger book.
"Hello? Are you there?" Brulee nearly dropped the wanted poster as she scrambled to grab her communications mirror when she heard Katakuri's tired and seemingly pained voice."
Everyone tensed at hearing that the second eldest Charlotte son was tired and apparently injured.
"Brother Katakuri! Are you alright?" Brulee asked looking worried about her brother who was missing his scarf."
"What happened to it by the way?" Amande asked her brother who looked a bit sheepish.
"Well…it involves a Sea King, my nephew, some fire, his cook, and their doctor." Katakuri said rubbing the back of his neck and making Luffy begin to snicker as he recalled what happened.
"That explains nothing." Amande said flatly.
"That's because I don't even really know what happened either. I literally had no time to react because I didn't see that happening at all."
"Yeah I made it to the Straw Hat's ship, just in time to prevent Sanji from getting too far away on a Germa vessel, but we were attacked by the Germa's soldiers."
"That happened too but they were weak as hell." Katakuri said shrugging his shoulders and remembering how easy it had been for his nephew to take them out.
"We're finally on our way to see you, and don't worry sis. Even without my help your boy is just fine. Barring anything else we should be there in two days." Katakuri said before his view was blocked by a scrawny little guy with a scar under one eye and a straw hat upon his head."
Everyone looked at Luffy who tilted his head slightly.
"Hey is that my mom? You said you were taking me to see my mom old man! I wanna see and why are you using a mirror? Do you just like talking to your reflection or? Hey cool there's a lady in the mirror!" Luffy said making Brulee giggle a bit at hearing her brother get called old."
"I'm not that old." Katakuri said pouting slightly as he drew a circle in the floor with a stick that he got from…somewhere?
"You're the third oldest of all of the siblings brother." Brulee reminded her favorite big brother who pouted harder at this, a small doom cloud over his head.
"Hello there Luffy-chan. My name's Brulee." Brulee said her voice soft, warm, and loving even as she blinked back her tears. This was her first time actually speaking to her son, her siblings remained respectfully silent.
"Hi! Cool scar! I got one too see? So we sort of match. Why are you in the mirror lady? Did you get stuck?" Luffy asked tilting his head at the end and earning a few snickers and giggles from those who remembered when Brulee first ate her Devil Fruit."
"Oh stop laughing! No one is perfect or good with their devil fruit at the start!" Brulee said scowling at her siblings, particularly the ones snickering at her that had Devil Fruits of their own.
"Compote in particular gave a loud snicker as she recalled finding her sister trapped half in the mirror half in the mirror world when she had tried to come out of a mirror that was a bit too small for her."
"Compote-onee-san!" Brulee cried in betrayal and the oldest sister gave her an apologetic smile and shrug.
"You'll have to tell me how you got that when we meet up okay?"
"I stabbed myself." Luffy said with no hesitation.
There was a brief second of silence as they all processed that before his crew was in a damn uproar as they clamored for the details and all.
"And no I'm not stuck in the mirror. It's a part of my power. I can tell you more when Katakuri-Onii-chan gets you and your crew here." Brulee said glaring slightly at her siblings but smiling at her son.
"Okay but most of my crew won't be here. Some of em stayed in Zou while the rest of us came to get Sanji back, but your brother brought him back earlier. So we'll see you whenever we get there! Oi Sanji! Meat!" Luffy ducked out of view of the mirror as he yelled for his cook."
"Meat!" Luffy looked thrilled when meat appeared out of nowhere for him, digging in happily and then pulling a small face.
"It's not as good as when Sanji makes it." Luffy said pouting a bit but still devouring the meat.
"You rubber brained idiot! You just had lunch!" Katakuri chuckled a bit from the shout that came from off of the mirrors screen.
"Your son has quite the appetite Brulee. Honestly I wouldn't question it if he did eat those sweets from Fishman Island…however it seems he likes meat more than he does candy." Katakuri said amused as he glanced over his shoulder and then back to his sister.
"What about Brulee's grandchild? Is it a girl or a boy? Are they coming with?"
"And there's more of the misunderstanding." Nami said amused.
"Perospero asked leaning in close to his sister so that Katakuri could see him as well.
"Grandchild? I saw no children or babies on the ship. Hold on I'll ask." Katakuri said looking surprised and confused.
"Hey are there any babies or children as part of the crew? My brother thinks that your captain has a child."
"Can you just imagine if any of us hears about someone thinking Luffy has a kid out of nowhere?" Franky asked and the whole crew paused for a moment before they began to snicker or outright laugh.
"Does Luffy even know where babies come from?" Nami asked a very good question there.
"Of course I do!" Luffy said looking offended and everyone stared at him surprised.
"The mystery baby bird drops them off!"
The laughter returned with a vengeance and Brulee face palmed.
"Katakuri asked someone nearby, earning a snort from a definitely female voice.
"The only child on this crew is Luffy. Besides I'm not even sure he knows where babies come from." A woman said from nearby making Perospero raise an eyebrow.
"Isn't he nineteen sis?" Perospero asked looking at Brulee who nodded her head.
"Yes he'll be twenty come this Children's day." Brulee said making all of her siblings over the age of fifteen look confused.
"Then how does he not know where babies come from? We received that talk when we were nine."
"Although most of us already knew where babies came from since Mama was marrying someone new and having a new baby each year." Effiler said lighting her cigarette.
"Amande said looking completely confused at this as she looked around at her siblings who all nodded in agreement.
"Don't question it! Just let my baby boy stay innocent! Besides…I'm too young to be a grandmother." Brulee said earning snorts from her siblings and even Big Mom while Katakuri snickered.
"One remark about my age and I'll leave you trapped in a mirror in the dungeon cells brother." Brulee glared at Daifuku who had just opened his mouth only to slowly close it."
"Good idea." Oven said snickering at how whipped Daifuku was, especially after the last time he had kept picking on Brulee only for their baby sister to outsmart him with ease.
"Oi old man! Come look at this! It's so cool and it looks delicious!" Luffy called from off screen making Katakuri sigh but look, only to nearly drop his mirror.
"Luffy don't eat that!" Katakuri really did drop his mirror as he dashed over to his nephew.
"That's poisonous!" Katakuri cried making Brulee nearly panic."
"Oh yeah. That thing. It tasted bad." Luffy said pulling a face.
"Brother? Brother Katakuri what's going on?!" Brulee shouted through the mirror, looking ready to dive right on in.
"Don't worry I can suck the poison out." A second woman's voice said while Katakuri sighed and picked the mirror back up, his eye twitching slightly."
"There's Reiju." Sanji said nodding and knowing what was coming next. After all Reiju had been using poisons ever since he could remember.
"Luffy just ate a fish that's partially poisonous…and he swallowed the damn thing raw and whole. It's alright since it seems the female Vinsmoke is sucking the poison out right now. Brulee…don't go completely nuts okay?" Katakuri asked looking at his sister who looked a bit relieved at this.
"Why would I go completely nu-"
"Hey pink lady! Why'd you put your lips on mine?"
There was a long moment of stunned and disbelieving silence before there was a shriek of rage from Hancock.
"Love Rival!" Hancock shrieked as she lunged for Reiju who looked embarrassed a bit while Sandersonia and Marigold hurriedly grabbed their sister to keep her from attacking the other woman.
"Luffy could be heard asking which cut off Brulee's question and made the woman tense almost painfully.
"What?" Brulee's voice was dark cold and sharp as her eyes began to glow slightly and narrow, all of the mirrors began trembling again.
"It's Poison Pink Reiju of the Vinsmokes. She sucked the poison out of his body, since he ingested it there was only one way to suck the poison out."
The explanation caused everyone to relax a bit and Hancock was still glaring death at the woman but was no longer about to attack her. Luffy was still confused about everyone' reaction.
"Katakuri hurried to explain to his sister who narrowed her eyes a little more but began to relax a bit.
"And what's one of the Sweet Three Commanders doing here?" Reiju asked looking at Katakuri who gave her a bored look and turned back to his sister.
"Are you here to steal the dud?" Yonji asked smirking at the man, and earning a glare from Luffy."
"No one insults my nakama." Luffy growled slightly, clenching a fist and Brook began to pet his head to calm him down although none of the Straw Hats looked too happy.
"Oi. Don't call Sanji a dud. He's able to kick your ass even without any of those fancy suits!" Luffy yelled at Yonji who gave an arrogant laugh as Katakuri turned the mirror so that Brulee, and Perospero by extension, could see what was about to happen.
"Show respect to your betters you little brat!" Yonji yelled as he tried to hit Luffy with one of his kicks. Luffy just gave him a bored look and ignored him, and before the fool could actually kick Luffy…a flaming foot was in the way."
"Oh? Someone daring to disrespect our captain? On his own ship?" Robin demanded, her eyes glinting darkly as she stared at Yonji who scowled at her but backed down when he saw the rest of the Straw Hats and the Grand Fleet were more than ready to kick his ass.
"Hmph. Luffy-kun is much better than that smelly ape!" Hancock said snubbing the green haired Vinsmoke as she stuck up her nose at him.
"Oi oi…Luffy's the captain you know and you're on his ship. Here he's the highest authority…and if you want to get to my captain…" Sanji, the missing Vinsmoke Prince, said looking bored as he blocked his brothers kick without looking too bothered.
"Well…I might not be the first mate…but you're not even worthy enough of fighting him. Much less Luffy." Sanji said lighting a cigarette and looking his younger brother dead in the eye."
"He's not my brother. Just some arrogant ass who happens to look like me." Sanji said glaring darkly.
"Oh sure so let him fight the last of the Monster Trio. That sounds about right." An orange haired girl said sarcastically even though she was ready to fight as well."
"I'll fry his ass with Lightning!"
"He's lucky Robin's not here to hear him say that. Last time someone said tried saying that Luffy should respect to his better, she broke his spine." A cute little tanuki looking thing said innocently."
"And more than a few other pieces of him. No one disrespects my captain in front of me." Robin said her eyes glinting darkly again as she stared around the room.
"Yohoho. Yes Robin can indeed be a tad possessive. It's only natural after all that Luffy-san has done for her. Of course…the same can go for the rest of us. Shall I throw him overboard Captain?" The skeleton that Tamago told them about asked tilting his head at Luffy who looked up and then grinned.
"Nah. He's not worth it." Luffy said grinning brightly and making his crew relax although Sanji didn't lower his foot which was still crossed with his former brothers.
"And if he attacks you again?" Sanji asked not looking away from the green haired Vinsmoke in front of him."
"You can beat him up if you want Sanji!"
"Then I trust you to handle it Sanji! You look like you really wanna fight him anyways so its fine isn't it?" Luffy asked grinning with positively two thirds the radiance of the sun, which made Yonji recoil in disbelief while Reiju looked interested.
"Hmph. Leave it to me Captain." Sanji said smirking slightly even as he moved his foot to knock his former brother over to the side and away from his captain.
"Why you useless-"
There was a feeling of darkness now coming from Luffy and he was sitting up a bit more now as he stared at Yonji.
"If you finish those words, then Luffy will ensure you need to be fished out of the ocean." Katakuri warned the green haired one in advance, which seemed to snap Reiju out of her trance.
"Yonji! We aren't here to pick a fight! Get back on the ship and stop making a mess of things!" Reiju said even as she moved over and kicked the green haired one back onto their ship.
"Shishishi. That was funny. You're nice not to let him beat up on Sunny like that pink lady. Oh…and thank you for saving me from the poison!" Luffy said grinning at Reiju who blushed under his grin, causing Brulee to narrow her eyes and begin growling."
Brulee glared at Reiju who was staring at Luffy now with a small blush on her face while Luffy tilted his head to the side innocently confused as to why all of his crew were staring at the pink lady.
"Just watch sister." Katakuri stopped Brulee from saying anything, looking definitely amused.
"Anytime cutie." Reiju said kissing Luffy's cheek"
Hancock shrieked again.
"and earning a confused tilt of the head.
"Hey why are you doing that again? Is there some poison still on me?" Luffy asked confused and making Perospero break out into helpless laughter at the look of disbelief on Reiju's face."
Just about everyone was laughing now while Reiju's face fell and Hancock looked smug that Luffy apparently hadn't even cared about the other womans advances.
"No." Reiju managed to say causing Luffy to frown before he grinned again.
"Oh I know! You must be hungry! Oi Sanji! Food!" Luffy said grinning at his chef who looked torn between laughing and kicking his captain.
"No. I'm not…" Reiju was cut off by Luffy giving her another tilt of the head, causing a small heart to appear in her visible eye. Much like one appeared in Sanji's eyes when he saw a pretty lady."
"It runs in the family must be." Franky said grinning slightly and he was definitely amused by how the pink Vinsmoke seemed to have a crush on their captain who was as dense as could be.
"Shishishishi. You're kinda weird aren't you?" Luffy asked making Nami and Brook both laugh.
"That's coming from Luffy of all people." Chopper said looking at the scene in amused disbelief."
"Which really says something." The rest of his crew agreed with small grins or smiles as they stared fondly at their captain.
"Oi I know! Pink lady! Join my crew!" Luffy said grinning up at her and making his crew pause for a moment before they merely smiled and shook their heads.
"I'll have to call Robin and the others when we're back in range to let them know. Welcome aboard sis." Nami said patting Reiju's shoulder and walking off."
"It's nice to have another woman aboard the ship." Robin said smiling while Franky and Jimbe and Usopp were already welcoming a surprised and confused looking Reiju.
"It's nice to have another new crew member." Chopper said beaming up at Reiju who looked at them all in disbelief.
"I'm sorry but I have to refuse." Reiju tried to say gently, making Sanji chuckle."
"Oh this brings back memories." Sanji said grinning slightly as he looked at his captain.
"You shouldn't have said that sis." Sanji told his sister, the only family member he could actually stand to acknowledge."
"Aw. Love you too Sanji!" Reiju said smiling at her brother who blushed and scowled.
"I refuse your refusal." Luffy said completely ignoring what Sanji had said.
"It doesn't work like that!" Reiju shouted at Luffy who tilted his head."
"For him it does." Sanji said smirking slightly now since he recalled doing the same thing back in East Blue.
"Yohohoho. Luffy-san never gives up or compromises once he's made up his mind. May I see your-" Brook began only for Sanji to glare at him.
"Brook that's my sister. Ask her that and-" Here Sanji was cut off by Brook bowing in apology.
"Ah I see! Forgive me! I was unaware of the relation. Family of crew members is strict no-no territory after all."
"I might be a bit of a pervert but I do have standards and there are rules after all!" Brook said with a laugh.
"Brook apologized while Reiju looked confused and in disbelief.
"I said I wasn't joining your crew." Reiju said making all of the present Straw Hats except for Luffy give her flat looks.
"We weren't going to join at first either but trust me…Luffy will literally kick anyone's ass for a crewmember and once he decides you're a part of the crew, you're a part of the crew. It's that simple." Nami said bluntly and making Luffy nod in agreement."
"That's…that's yeah honestly how it pretty much happened for everyone but Robin. But as soon as she asked to join the crew and Luffy accepted her then that was it." Nami said sweat dropping a little bit as she recalled how Luffy had won each of them over even if she wasn't sure how he had met Zoro and got him to join.
"Yep! Why don't you wanna join? It's fun being a pirate! You get to be free and follow your dreams! Oh I know is it because someone else won't let you join the crew? Tell me who! I'll kick their ass!" Luffy said bouncing in place slightly and making Reiju give him a look of disbelief."
"Ha! A small brat like you thinks you can best me?" Judge demanded staring darkly at Luffy who tilted his head at that man.
"Who are you?" Luffy asked making Judge face plant the ground while Sanji was snickering happily.
"No one important captain. Just some old fart who likes to try and control people." Sanji said grinning and making Luffy let out an 'oh'.
"I'll kick your ass later don't worry." Luffy assured the Vinsmoke king.
"He means it too. Trust me sis, I tried refusing too and it didn't work. It's much simpler to go along with it. Oi Luffy? What's her position in the crew anyways?" Sanji asked making Luffy tilt his head to the side slightly.
"What is she good at or what does she want to do?" Luffy asked making his mother slam her palm into her forehead while Perospero laughed harder and even Compote was laughing now."
"You asked her to join without even knowing what she does?!" The rest of the pirates in the room asked staring at Luffy while Brook laughed fondly, recalling how Luffy hadn't known what his occupation was before asking him to join.
"He doesn't even know what she can do and he invites her?" Amande asked in disbelief, making Big Mom laugh as well.
"She's good with poisons." Sanji spoke up in his sisters place, making Luffy tilt his head.
"Then she can be our Poison expert!" Luffy said grinning brightly.
"Oh she can help me make antidotes!" Chopper said brightly at this as he ran over to beam up at Reiju."
"I can use samples of her poisons to make antidotes and anti-venoms just in case!" Chopper said lighting up at that and looking at Reiju wide eyed and beaming and Reiju smiled slightly at the cute little reindeer.
"Just don't get Robin's help. She comes up with enough scary ideas without trying to make them come true in the shape of poisons." Nami said making Brook nod rapidly in agreement."
"Fufufufu."
"Shishishi. You guys are funny. Oi old man! Are we gonna go meet my mom?" Luffy asked looking at Katakuri curiously.
"Yes." Katakuri said simply and making Luffy grin.
"Cool! I wonder what it's like having a mom." Luffy said brightly and making Brulee jerk as if she had been shot. All laughter that was left instantly ceased."
Everyone stared at Luffy at this and most of them seemed sad.
"You never had a mom?" Brook asked looking at Luffy who shook his head but didn't look upset.
"Nope! When I was little I would usually stay by myself or with Makino. It was only after I met Shanks and ate my Devil Fruit that Gramps took me to Dadan and the Mountain Bandits where I met Ace and Sabo. I didn't even know I had a mom until the old man told me!" Luffy said smiling brightly and making Brulee look upset even as Luffy's crew didn't look surprised."
"He didn't know about his dad either." Sanji murmured softly as he glanced at his captain.
"Well Dadan was our foster mom even if she was trying to turn us into bandits." Ace said making Luffy look surprised but then beam at that.
"You didn't know about your dad either until your grandpa told you." Sanji acknowledged making Luffy nod.
"Yeah I thought the mystery baby bird just dropped me off with only gramps." Luffy said although his smile didn't drop.
"Mystery baby bird?" Reiju asked looking at Luffy confused.
"Yeah the mystery bird that brings babies. That's how parents get babies right?" Luffy asked looking confused and making all of Brulee's siblings over the age of 14 except Katakuri break out in helpless laughter."
It took a good three minutes for the room to quiet down from laughter so that Big Mom could finish reading even though she was grinning slightly at how naïve her grandson was.
"Luffy who told you that?" Nami asked her eye twitching a bit.
"Ace did when Dadan had some bandits try and teach me about birds and bees. I don't know why though. I already knew bees made honey and birds taste really good after you cook them and lay eggs." Luffy said simply and causing his crew members present to laugh a bit but it seemed strained."
"I wasn't going to let them tell my cute little crybaby seven year old brother where babies come from!" Ace said defensively at the looks his crew were giving him.
"Should we tell him?" Brook asked sweat dropping slightly as he looked at his clueless captain.
"If you do my sister, his mother, is likely to kill you." Katakuri said bluntly and earning an even bigger sweat drop from the skeleton.
"Ah." Brook said simply.
"Hey old man why are they laughing?" Luffy asked looking at Katakuri confused.
"Brother don't you dare…" Brulee growled at Katakuri.
"Your mother will tell you." Katakuri said smirking a bit as he patted Luffy's head and ignored the shriek from the mirror as he began to put it away, also ignoring the laughter from his mother and siblings.
"KATAKURI!"
"So if Babies don't come from mystery baby birds. Where do they come from?" Luffy asked tilting his head with wide innocent eyes.
Any laughter in the room choked off as they stared in horror at the thought of having to give the seventeen year old the 'Talk'.
"I'm not sure. I know there's supposed to be something that husbands and wives do to get a baby but I don't know what it is, Luffy-kun." Hancock said tilting her head just as innocently confused as he was. The rest of the Amazons likewise confused and naïve on the matter.
"Aw hell no! I'm not giving them the Talk!" There was more than one person trying to stampede out of the room to avoid having to give the group the talk.