Chapter 18: Recollection

Walking up the street, I am unsure what is going to happen. Or what happened at all. At least I have not returned with empty hands. I want to open the door, but someone else already opens it before me. The door is thrown open and Tohsaka stares at me. Staying silent, I enter the house. I take off my jacket, whereas Tohsaka does not move. She simply observes me.

It is certainly weird, but on the other hand I do not want to talk with Tohsaka. As soon as I enter the next room, I see Sakura and Straw Hat sitting there. Since I am not sure what I should do, I raise my hand as usual and say:

"I am back!"

No response. I sit down as well and Tohsaka returns from the entrance. She takes a seat on the other side of the table. Finally, Straw Hat turns his head slowly to me and I am prepared for everything. Raising his right fist, I face my well deserved inevitable end.

"Hi"

I was not prepared for this. He waves with his right hand to greet me without showing any specific emotion.

"We prepared this and now you destroyed it all!", Tohsaka rants at Straw Hat.

"But he has greeted us", he responds, "so, we should at least greet him back"

"What about all the boasting of being consequent? You promised, you would remain consequent at all times"

Apparently, Straw Hat failed at something and Tohsaka is mad about it. This is definitely… a unique greeting.

"She is right, you should be more consistent. Now, Senpai won't take this seriously", Sakura adds.

Straw Hat crosses his arms and seems unaffected by the critique.

"Nah, we should do it more direct. So, why did you leave and where is our dinner?"

"Yeah, tell us", Tohsaka agrees, "but ignore that last bit", she adds while touching her head with both hands in her sheer desperation.

Suddenly, Archer randomly appears next to Tohsaka and sighs.

"You're hopeless…"

"Well, if that's all-"

"You think so?", everyone interrupts simultaneously.

I hoped so.

I look to the empty seat next to Straw Hat and take a deep breath. Then, I explain what has happened. From the reason that I have left the house, Saber accompanying me, the Lord and the incident with Gray over what we have experienced, Gray's early years, Add, Squandain and his father Lunain to Saber leaving me. They all listen to me very cautiously and do not interrupt me.

As I want to proceed what happened after I left the Lord's room, I feel a sharp pain in my breast. I instinctively grab my left side of my chest and almost fall over the table.

"Everything okay, Senpai?", Sakura asks upset as she gives me a hand.

The pain vanishes as abruptly as it began. Clearly, everyone else is perplexed.

"Sure, that you feel alright?", Straw Hat questions.

"Sorry, I must have been outside for too long. It began snowing. However, as I decided to buy some groceries for tonight, I met Illya"

"Illya who?", Tohsaka requests.

"Illyasviel von Einzbern. She is the Master of Berserker"

"Then, how are you still living?"

Rider also materializes next to Sakura. Was she listening all along?

"Rider, have you been here already?"

"Of course. Where else should I have been?"

"Isn't that eavesdropping?"

"Precisely"

"And isn't this kind of… uncomfortable?"

"She is allowed to. We Servants can do that", Archer responds instead of Rider.

But is that not just rude? Even if they are Servants?

"Wait, does that mean you could also observe someone sleeping?"

They both say nothing, but this explains enough.

I recollect myself again and calm down. I remember it again. I cannot tell them what happened afterwards, because that person threatened me to crush my heart if I ever were to tell anyone else about our interactions. For now on, I cannot do anything but obey this law. Still, the others are patiently waiting for me to finish.

"Well, as I said earlier, I met Illya. To my surprise, Berserker wasn't with her. She behaved completely different from when we first saw her. She followed me to the bridge and we had a little chat. After some time, she asked me whether I know Kiritsugu Emiya or not and then left me. Before she vanished, she announced that Illya will visit me tonight. Probably with Berserker"

I look around, but Tohsaka is the one to speak up.

"So, just to sum up: You left the house without saying a single word, went to a stranger that we all know since yesterday, you discovered some disputes with Saber and that Gray, lost your Servant in the progress, met another Master who then threatens you to kill you tonight- and returned with empty hands?"

"It's an oversimplification of events, but yes"

"Perfect, just like expected from Emiya Shirou", Archer scolds me.

Well, if she says it like this, it certainly sounds really stupid. Maybe it is. Still, I live and the chances to get Saber back are somewhat realistic. Come to think of it… I do not have to challenge Archer- I can use Illya's attack to my own advantage!

"I know the situation sounds dire, but hear me out!"

"Even I must admit that you can barely save this situation, Senpai"

Even Sakura doubts my reasoning.

"Was it really a good decision to remain here? Don't forget that I can blast him away at any given moment", Rider whispers to Sakura.

"No, I forbid you to hurt him!"

"What exactly are you talking about and why are you whispering?", Straw Hat whispers to them.

"Wait, wha- You weren't supposed to participate in this conversation", Rider mumbles back.

"I can hear you…"

Sakura and Rider bow down as a token of apology while Straw Hat is confused about what occurred. I clear my throat before I begin anew.

"So, I have a plan how we could possibly use the attack of Berserker to our advantage-"

"I hope so, or else you're disinherited", Tohsaka butts in.

"What- I own everything here!"

"Depends", Archer disagrees.

Tohsaka is seemingly distressed, outraged, disappointed you could even say. I hope she will not stop cooperating with me. At this point, that would certainly be a major problem like losing Saber.

"You could remain here as my cook!", Straw Hat mentions.

"No"

"Strange, I think I have somewhere heard that already… so, I think I will just refuse your refusal", he states.

He is definitely hard to convince.

"So, back to what I said: When Berserker attacks us, I can use my command spell to summon Saber-"

"And she will have no other choice than defend you due to her oath as a knight", Tohsaka interrupts again.

"I must admit", Rider retorts, "for once you came up with a good idea. By that, she can't escape and your command spell isn't wasted for some idiotic relationship-problems"

I am not sure if I should feel happy or not. Nonetheless, I am glad to see that the others accept the plan. However, if they just knew who planned this in reality… well, there is no way I can tell the others, so take this anonymous person!

"Khrr-!"

Once again, I feel a sharp pain in my left chest for a fraction of a second.

"You should really get some rest; seems like you could have caught a cold or something like that", Straw Hat proposes.

Sakura looks upset at me. Seems like she is still around and heard me… I cannot tell them why this happens; therefore, I must live with this lie for now.

"Yes, maybe *cough*, you might be right. I will get some *cough* rest after the fight with Berserker"

Sakura quickly hurries to the kitchen and takes out a kettle from the cupboard.

"I will make a tea for you, so please rest now"

"She's right, you must replenish your resources. Berserker is no enemy to be taken on light-heartedly. I as well agree to your plan, but we must combine our forces if we want to take down Berserker. Moreover, thanks for the information that you provided us with. I specifically mean Berserker's Master"

"Why?"

"Just good to know"

I want to stand up to help Sakura but Rider advises me not to.

"You shouldn't cook. In this condition, it is important that you get as much rest as possible"

"But who else will cook then?"
"Well, I guess", Archer sighs, "I could help out here and there. I am somewhat skilled as a cook"

"You are quite skilled in a lot of things as an Archer"

That is indeed suspicious. I always wondered why he can do so many different tasks. I would also like to be so versatile!

"Well, I, uhhh, traveled a lot, so I… I had to perform several duties… That is why I can also cook"

He is even a traveler!

"I thought you can barely remember your past?", Tohsaka questions.

"Well-"

"So, in the meantime we can finally play some baseball, right? A little cold should not bother"

Straw Hat grabs my arm before I can even react.

"Huh?"

"Remember, we wanted to play some baseball but then got disturbed?"

"Oh… yeah. Is that the right time to go out now, though?"

"The enemy might have it easier to attack you", Rider points out.

Straw Hat smiles to Rider rather confident.

"Don't worry, it's even better if he attacks us outside. Also, I am there to protect Shirou if anything bad happens!"

"But what about resti-"

Before I can reject it, I find myself outside again. It is still snowing, although it seems like it will end soon. Apparently, Straw Hat has found a ball. He lifts it up from the ground. I watch him taking the pipe that I always desperately try to reinforce and he goes to the other side of the yard. I think I have no other choice left than accepting his challenge.

"Are you ready, Shirou?"

As I take a stance, I response with a nod.

And I already lost. The ball was bombarded at me with such a high speed that I am not even sure if the ball did not just teleport.

"That's a point for me!"

Straw Hat happily declares his victory while I my mind still anticipates his first throw, although he had already done so.

"Wait, you can't just throw a ball at me at the speed of light and expect me to catch it!"

"Don't worry, we've just began. Nothing is lost and no one has won yet"

This is not a game. This is an execution. However, I grab the ball that… was stuck in a wooden pillar behind me and take a stance to throw it at him with all my might. I take a deep breath and aim at Straw Hat. Then, I throw the ball at him so fast that I almost fall over. Straw Hat on the other hand, can easily hit the ball and the ball comes back at me as fast as I have thrown it. Luckily, the ball does not directly hit me, but almost perfectly lands before my feet.

While I bend over to grab the ball, Straw Hat begins to speak.

"You shouldn't run away without saying a word"

"I know, I know, I am sorry-"

"I recall to have known someone who did something similar", he explains while preparing for my next throw, "he left me… and some other people. Due to reasons which he hasn't told us, he vanished"

I aim at Straw Hat and listen silently to what he is telling me.

"Of course, I followed him, because I needed to know the reason why he left us. Eventually, we found him"

I launch the ball like a cannon, but I fail once again.

"Seems like it wasn't easy", I say.

"Oh yeah, I can't remember anything particularly, but it was a very dangerous operation. Still, he insisted on leaving us, although I clearly offered help"

"So, you followed him for nothing in the end?"

"Well, I wouldn't have left before he came with us. Almost starved to death for him returning"

As expected, he hits the ball effortlessly, thus I have to retrieve the ball again.

"Well, he was in a difficult situation after all. Someone close to him was being held hostage and we would have also been in danger. On top, his family might have been killed as well at this point"

"So, you want to express what now?"

I take the ball and face Straw Hat again. It is futile to fight him, but maybe he makes a mistake. I just want to win at least once.

"You reminded me of him. In the end, he hasn't thought it through until the end and tried to do it on his own. Why don't use all the help you have here? Why do you want to do it on your own?"

"Because I don't want to get anyone in trouble. I want to be a hero of justice; hence I can't allow to get anyone hurt"

Again, I try to throw the ball at Straw Hat with even more power than before. By now, it does not snow anymore. Though the clouds are still hiding the moon, it is a rather peaceful night. Ironic.

"Yes, but we will follow you anyways", he responds while the ball flies back to me.

"That might be true, but-"

"Why not consider our support then from the beginning?"

"I've told it already, because I don't want to-"

"But following a path alone only results in failure"

"Still, I don't want people to get hurt. If only I suffer and get injured, it is only me"

"You are quite stubborn, aren't you?"

"You're one to talk"

I turn around to look out for the ball. After I spot the ball- it landed next to the entrance- I make my way to it. Through the slightly opened door I can see how Archer and Sakura are cheerfully cooking. Archer quite enjoys it, although it is rare to see him so happy around other people. While Archer entertains himself in the kitchen, Tohsaka and Rider are discussing something intensely.

I pick up the ball and turn around one last time.

"You will only end up with problems you can't tackle down yourself. Believe me, doing everything on your own is exhausting and leads to even more problems"

"This time, I'll win for sure"

Straw Hat lowers his head and readies himself. I fully concentrate on him and the environment starts to slowly fade away. I really want to win against him, even though it is absolutely fanatic to believe in it. This time, I will create a stronger momentum by taking a run. Therefore, I take some steps backwards. Not even the wind can interfere now. There is nothing that can hold me back now. I simply have to win at least once against him! I close my eyes to concentrate and breathe in… and out. As I open my eyes again, everything is crystal clear. Finally, I start running with all my might, but suddenly Straw Hat raises his head again, smiling.

He even throws away his pipe and begins approaching me.

"You'll slip"

With these words, it takes some time as it becomes reality. I have forgotten the small gap and completely lost my whole stability. The whole world seems to turn away from me and I now face the ground. First, I land with my forehead on the ground, then my arms follow and lastly even my legs cannot save me from escaping the inevitable.

"Sorry, I could've foreseen this before if I had concentrated more", I hear a voice saying from above.

Soon, I am on my feet again. Straw Hat has helped me up.

"Looks like nothing bad happened to you, shishishishi!"

"But how can you predict this? Especially in combat, it looks like you can almost tell the enemy's next move"

It is really strange how he can predict the future with that accuracy. He has already explained to us before that he had a strange vision, thus it led him to helping Saber out against Berserker.

"I don't know, maybe intuition?", Straw Hat answers while looking up into the sky.

"Really? No clue?"

"Not the slightest. I just know that I can see the future of the next few seconds. At least this is what it has to be judging by my own usage so far. Sooo, it's pretty useful in direct combat"

"Means you can always know what the opponent is about to do?"

"Yes, as long as I don't lose my concentration"

"And you permanently used this ability in the match?"

"That is true"

"So, you cheated?"

"Well…", Straw Hat acknowledges.

I was absolutely betrayed; of course, I will always lose when the opponent knows what I am basically thinking! He tricked me and I fell into his trap.

"I demand a rematch without this… hey, everything okay?"

Suddenly, Straw Hat has become very pale as if… he has a premonition! It must be something troubling!

"Get away from there!", he shouts as he kicks me away.

He also dodges in time. It has begun. The fight has begun. I would not have believed that Illya really attacks me in my backyard, but now is the moment to summon Saber.

But wait… that is not the gigantic monstrous Berserker that I know. That is… that is… oh no!

Yeah, I am back after all this time. Basically, I was kinda absent due to school stuff (my last exams). Now that I graduated, I have time again. I wrote some chapters in advance, but my editor hasn't checked them all yet, so for now I can give two more chapters. Sorry again for being absent for so long.