Chapter 16: Arena Lullaby
I stand, holding Peeta's hand, as we survey what was once the site of the arena for the 71st Annual Hunger Games.
It's a forest, much like our first arena was, except in this case, the steep hillocks are also dotted with craggy rocks along with trees. President Paylor referred to it as a 'rock forest' in our meeting before we were flown out here by hovercraft to witness and help in the demolition of the place where Johanna Mason faked and hacked her way to Victory and into history.
The demolition of the arenas, and the erection of memorials to the children who died here in their place, is happening in no particular order, although the arenas of the seven surviving Victors take top priority. We've already destroyed Beetee's – the 35th Hunger Games – and the memorial obelisk is being constructed in the midst of it, a series of rolling, grassy hills. To my surprise, Beetee invited my mother as a special guest. It wasn't as though I expected him to consult me on it, but still, it was only the second time I've seen Mother since District 13, and I was caught off-guard. She and I were cordial to each other, however, and she gave Beetee a hug as the President gave the order to bring down the force field. The hug lingered a bit longer than I thought it should have, but I tried to put it out of my mind. We haven't gotten around the destroying Haymitch's yet, or either of Peeta's and my two – the forest or the jungle of the clock arena.
I'm not even sure where this arena is situated, if it's even in the country, and if so, which state/former district. We are grouped back along the semi-circle ring of old pedestals, many of the plates rusted now. Peeta, the others and I remain quiet, as Johanna stands just a little ahead of us, taking in the gunmetal gray of the Cornucopia. She hasn't moved a tick since we got off the plane and first approached, nor has she uttered a word.
Until…
Johanna finally gives a scream of rage and picking up a cluster of pebbles and dirt in her fist, she begins flinging them with all her might, so that they bounce off the metallic structure of the horn. Her pitches are wild, windmilling and freewheeling, and one of her sandals finally slips in the dirt and sends her crashing down in a heap, where she hugs her knees up to her chest and just cries.
The only sound that can be heard is Johanna's sobs. Finally, someone moves.
Well, really it's two people. Gale Hawthorne, along on this mission as part of our security detail, goes first, approaching the broken, young woman and sitting by her side in the grass and rocky dirt. He doesn't put his arm around her, just sits there stoically by her side and lets her cry it out, figuring that that's what Jo needs right now. It is she who actually slumps to one side to lean her head on his shoulder. Still, my old hunting partner doesn't move. At one point, he shifts his body a little to get more comfortable, and Johanna must think he's going to move to get up, for she suddenly grabs for him, tugs his face down to her lips, and soundly kisses him.
Gale is surprised, but holds the kiss for a moment. Peeta and I look down at our feet, to give the pair some privacy. When Johanna and Gale finally break apart, the Victor from former District 7 looks incredibly vulnerable, asking Gale a question with her eyes. He stays with her.
I feel Peeta drop my hand as he steps forward about a minute or two later. He approaches Johanna and Gale cautiously, slowly sinking himself into a sitting position on our fellow Victor's other side. I see Johanna turn her head, study Peeta in surprise. My boyfriend just holds his arm out for a side hug invitingly; after a loaded pause, Johanna turns into him, allowing Peeta to hold her. Over her trembling head as she continues to quietly weep, I can clearly see Peeta and Gale lock eyes. The latter nods once, thankful.
I'm teary, and I don't very much care that others are seeing. My soul bubbles with a glimmer of hope. If Peeta currently has a more awkward relationship with anyone aside from his now-thawing estrangement with Johanna, it's Gale. Maybe all of these young people who had such passionate and petty disagreements can put the politics aside and move forward. After all, it's all over now.
It is a good fifteen more minutes before Johanna shakily stands, both Peeta and Gale's arms now slung about her as they escort her in a kind of solemn funeral march back to the main group.
"Yes, I'm ready now…" Johanna's voice is small, clogged with tear.
Paylor nods once in sympathy, and signals to the demolition crew to begin their explosion. We all hurry over to a section of removed paneling, uncovered using reverse invisalign technology, to make it visible, and we duck under the force field doming of the arena itself to return to the outside world, and the waiting hovercraft; Peeta holds out his hand like a gentleman to help me under.
From the plane, we watch as the force field above Johanna's arena explodes, causing much of the structure to be revealed again and start to collapse in on itself. The demolition crew departs and then sets off another set of explosives from the outside that finishes the job. As soon as we leave, rescue and construction crews will begin to sort through the rubble and clear it, to make way for the memorial obelisk with the names of the tributes who died here that will stand here.
Johanna doesn't say a word the whole plane ride back. But she does allow Peeta to sit beside her and smiles when he tells her stories about the growing success of the bakery.
Maybe even the worst wounds can heal.
Annie's arena is demolished not long after Johanna's. On the way back during the return trip, Peeta, Haymitch and I spend a night on Victors' Island itself, off the coast of Odair.
The island used to once be known as Catalina, and as it is impressive in length, if not necessarily in width, the strip of land has its own bustling community, even outside the gated community set on the island's highest point. As for the Victors' Village itself, it boasts museums in the former mansion of all of District 4's departed Victors. Annie and her little boy, Finnick Jr., still live in theirs. In addition, the remaining two mansions which never housed a Victor have been converted – one into an orphanage, and the other into a hospital. The latter is where Mother, Beetee Latier and Ariadne Snow now work; Mother and Beetee were granted a transfer from working in the Capitol at Victors' Mercy. Largely isolated from her own people after her own Games and orphaned with nothing to do, Ariadne decided to tag along and has now been helping my mother as her own personal apprentice. I try not to think about this too negatively, about how Ariadne seems to be replacing Primrose while learning at my mother's knee. But Ariadne is proving herself to be a good Healer and enjoys visiting with the war orphans in the orphanage across the street.
Pollux, our former Avox cameraman, is still living with Annie and Finnick Jr., and although Annie does not appear to notice, it is clear the mute redhead adores her. I hide a smile thinking back to several weeks ago, when Cressida showed up in Everdeen alone, with a new cameraman to film her, there to document the rebuilding after the war effort.
Peeta and I spend much of our daylight hours exploring the quaint little shopfronts below the Victors' Village. We get chocolate covered bananas, and Peeta even buys me a beautiful necklace of jade, which I finally relent in allowing him to put on me after I tried to no avail to dissuade him.
One lazy afternoon, back up in Annie's mansion and resting as I watch Peeta play with Little Finnick and trying to ignore the odd ache in my heart that feels like guilt, Annie takes me aside.
"It's tradition for new babies born in Fo…. Odair to be baptized in the tide. I would like for you to be Little Finnick's godmother if, Panem forbid, anything should happen to me. Would it be OK if I asked Peeta to be the godfather?"
I smile softly, and take her hand. "He would absolutely be thrilled," I tell her. "And of course I'll be the godmother."
Annie beams. "I'll get Father Alban, and see if we can have the baptism down by the shore at sunset? His church is just down the wharf."
That evening, I am clad in my blue Reaping dress, Peeta and Haymitch standing by in tailored suits they had brought along for the trip to see Annie's arena – including the infamous dam that broke – destroyed. We tried to get Mother, Beetee and Ariadne to come, but they begged off, saying the hospital was keeping them busy.
Cradling infant Finnick Jr. in my arms, I stride out with Annie flanking me into the low surf and kneel in the waters, my blue skirts fanning out like an opening flower petal around me and blending in with the crystal azul of the sea. Father Alban cups a bit of saltwater into his palms and sprinkles it over the baby's head, who predictably wakes up from where he had been napping.
"Finnick Odair Jr., I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, amen…"
Little Finnick is still wailing, and almost instinctively, I rock him and begin to sing:
"Moonbeams and starlight, magical twilight. The warmest ray…. Hear it whispering your name… Rainbows at midnight, sparkling night skies, don't go away…. stay another day…"
I can feel Peeta watching me, enraptured, but I don't turn my head. I stand up in the surf, cuddling Finnick Jr. close before passing him back to his grateful mother as we step back on land. I watch as Peeta holds out his hand to the baby, face wide in a beaming and playful smile, and I glance down at my feet, trying not to cry.
"I think I'm going to take a walk along the beach," I tell my friends. "You head back to the Village, I'll catch up…"
Peeta nods, leaving me with a kiss. "Don't be too long," he murmurs, before following the rest of the group up the island's slope and through the town. I stride along the edge of the sand, watching the sun drop below the horizon beyond. I'm looking down at my feet, mostly, so it is all the sharper when I glance up at the sound of someone moaning….
"Oh, goodness…. Beetee…"
Beetee? Curious, I cross over the crest of the next dune and stop dead in my tracks: Mother and my fellow Victor from Three are literally rolling around in the sand, heatedly kissing and thrusting with their bodies, part of the tide washing over them. The image, traumatizing as it is, makes me think back to some old black-and-white movie that Haymitch made us watch recently, mostly to laugh at all the mushy, romantic scenes.
In this case, what I have just walked in on is anything but funny, and Beetee is still buried deep inside my mother when they break the kiss, and, horrified, realize that I am there, gawping.
"Katty, dear…" Mother gasps out, breathless, naked from the waist up. "How did the baptism go, darling?"
I can't say anything beyond letting out a scream, turning on my heel and fleeing back up to the Village in tears. Peeta sees me coming through the gate and rushes to intercept me, worried.
"Katniss...? What the hell happened?"
"Beetee and…. and Mother…. Oh, god, it was awful…"
"Your mother and Beetee? What about them? I thought they couldn't come cause they were still working at the hospital…." My face buried in Peeta's chest, I feel his head lift as he looks to someone behind us, finally tapping me on the shoulder. I turn, taking in Mother's and Beetee's rumpled clothing, how they look shamefaced before. Glowering at them both, I turn to flee inside. But I can't resist getting in one final, parting shot from the front stoop, as I state witheringly, "I hope you're happy! You two deserve each other!"
Peeta looks flummoxed, and I don't really care how Mother looks close to bursting into tears. It is Beetee who is brave enough to step forward (even though most of my ire is directed at him, for doing…. doing that with my mother!).
"Katniss…. I'm sorry your mother and I didn't tell you. We should have. We've been… seeing each other for over a year. It happened unexpectedly. I… I really do love her. But, if it makes you uncomfortable, I am prepared to walk away."
It takes a lot to color Peeta shocked, and right now my boyfriend looks positively gobsmacked, staring between my mother and Beetee in disbelief. As for me, my thoughts are conflicted, though the glower has not left my face.
I would actually be the first to readily admit that I am a pretty selfish person. Peeta would try and fiercely deny it, Haymitch would tacitly agree with it, but I am. And right now, since Beetee is offering me an out, it is tempting to be selfish and forbid him from seeing my mother.
But taking a glance at my mother's tear-streaked, guilty face, I also see love whenever she chances a look at this man by her side. She and I will always love my father, and losing him nearly delivered my mother to her own early grave. But it's been seven years, on top of which she also tragically lost her youngest daughter. If loving Beetee, if finding someone to be with and who is there to support her, can help her move on and, as Annie once expressed in a letter to Peeta and me "find some peace"…. what kind of daughter would I be if I refused her and Beetee that?
A pretty lousy one, I would have to judge. Still teary myself, and although I still feel hurt that they haven't been honest with me (I knew my suspicions weren't crazy, and yet I didn't listen to my gut!), I get out, "You may still court her. But I expect you both to be honest with me from now on. Walking in on you…. doing it is not what I had in mind when taking a stroll down the wharf. And, if you ever get to a point where you are discussing… marriage…. please come to me to ask for permission."
I can tell that Peeta doesn't think my last condition is entirely fair, though he doesn't dare to voice so. I, on the other hand, feel it is more than reasonable – isn't that what parents should do for their children, if and when they begin to find new love after the loss of an old one? Turning on my heel, I flounce into Annie's mansion in search of my godson, and I spend the twilight hours seated beside his crib, drinking in his sleeping face as a way to try and calm myself down. I didn't think I would care so much – after all, Mother and I have never had the best relationship, ever since Daddy died. You could say we've been semi-estranged. It makes me almost want to cry with relief that I do care about Mother just enough to want to protect her, or at least have a say in who can pursue her heart. For if Beetee, of all people (that match is one that I'm still trying to wrap my head around), has Mother's heart, he also has the power to break it. And whatever hurt that still festers between Mother and I, watching her have her heart broken for a second time is something that I will not – cannot – abide.
Mother, Beetee, Peeta, Annie, Haymitch – none of them try and disturb me, and for that, I am grateful that my loved ones are letting me have my space while I ponder the new man in my mother's life.