Chapter 2: The Heart Knows What It Wants

Lily Evans left the meeting of the Slug Club late, moving through the stone corridors of the castle lit by torches. At this late hour, she figured she would probably run into at least one fifth-year prefect out on patrol, and patted the piece of parchment in her pocket gratefully. Professor Horace Slughorn didn't exactly conform to the rules regarding school clubs, as the Slug Club was one of the few student organizations in Hogwarts to hold their meetings after-hours. The Quidditch teams often had practices running well after dark out of necessity, but Lily wasn't so sure a prefect would sympathize with her explanation for why she was out of bed. At least she could show them the permission slip that Slughorn had personally signed, attesting to her whereabouts and where she was heading.

Lily was just approaching the portrait of the Fat Lady when Professor McGonagall came bustling out in a dressing gown and nightcap, looking flustered. She started when she saw Lily, her mouth drawing into a thin line of reproachment, mixed with surprise.

"Miss Evans! Explain why you are out of bed after curfew!"

Without a word, Lily dug into her robes and procured Slughorn's permission form. McGonagall read over it hurriedly, her features softening, even as she tssked.

"I see. That Horace! Very well, Miss Evans, please return to your dormitory at once."

"Is something the matter, Professor?" Lily inquired as she stepped beyond her to give the Fat Lady the Common Room password.

"There has been an incident on school grounds which will require the intervention of Poppy at the Hospital Wing, none of which need concern you."

Lily cocked an eyebrow. Probably one of the Quidditch teams – some newbie prat falling off his broom or something. If that was the case, she knew Gryffindor probably wasn't involved: James Potter played Seeker for the Lions, and she hadn't seen him in his Quidditch robes this evening. Not that she usually made a point to keep tabs on such an insufferable git.

Just then, a silvery Patronus in the form of a rabbit appeared before the two women. The rabbit spoke in the voice of Madame Pomfrey:

"Minerva, please hurry! Mr. Snape's injuries are quite serious!"

Lily's heart dropped into her stomach, her face draining of color so that she appeared ghastly pale. "Sev? Sevvy….?"

And before she fully realized what she was doing, she was sprinting towards the Hospital Wing, ignoring Professor McGonagall's running after her and pleading with her to stop.

McGonagall didn't overtake Lily until she was at the doors of the Hospital Wing. "Miss Evans!"

Lily made the bare minimum effort to look contrite. "Professor, I have to see him…"

"Lily…"

"Please." She was white-faced, panting, sheer terror reflected in her emerald green eyes.

McGonagall let out a long sigh. "All right," she smiled heavily, resigned.

The pair entered the Hospital Wing to find a mix of teachers and students surrounding one sickbed. Headmaster Albus Dumbledore, Herbology Professor Sprout, Madame Pomfrey, and, oddly, Lily's fellow Gryffindors, James Potter and Sirius Black. She noted how James was sitting on an adjacent bed himself, and though he looked banged up, appeared no worse for wear.

Dumbledore glanced up and peered past Lily to witness McGonagall's approach. "Ah, Minerva! Good." Only then did he acknowledge the trembling young lady who had been brought along. "But what is Miss Evans doing here?" Dumbledore said this curiously, though he didn't sound at all concerned.

"I encountered Miss Evans as I was leaving Gryffindor Tower when Poppy sent her Patronus; she happened to overhear."

"Indeed. And what was a good girl like you doing out of bed?"

"I believe I can answer that, Albus," Slughorn chuckled before Lily could speak. "My Potions Club ran late; I gave out permission slips so my students wouldn't be penalized by the prefects."

Tuning out this conversation, Lily peered through the crowd of bodies to behold the sprawled form in the hospital bed; when she did, both of her hands went to her mouth to hold in her gasp.

The entire left side of Severus's face was caked with blood, causing much of his silky black hair to remain matted to his head. His left leg was in a cradle of cloth, elevated off the mattress.

"Broken ankle…." Lily heard Madame Pomfrey murmuring to someone quietly. "If they hadn't…"

"It looks worse than it is, Poppy…" Dumbledore assured her, sounding almost cheerful.

Almost in a trance, Lily lowered herself into a chair and clutched at Severus's hand, rubbing her thumb over his knuckles, which appeared bone-white.

"Severus? Can you hear me….?"

He turned his head, and she had to tamp down a sob of relief. "Lily….."

Lily offered him a wet, weak smile. "Hi…." She tenderly tried to brush back the bangs that weren't caked in blood, now allowing herself a gasp when she felt the copper tang of it under her fingers. How much had he lost…? She almost feared the answer. "Oh…. Oh, I'm so sorry…. What happened?"

At this, Severus's eyes turned sharp as flint. "Ask. Him!" And he pointed an unusually strong finger towards someone behind them.

Lily followed the path of the finger to where it rested on a gawping James Potter, her eyes narrowing and her face collapsing into sheer hatred. "You….. What did you do to him?!"

"I didn't do anything to him! Other than save his life!"

Lily frowned dubiously, though her flashing green eyes faltered. "Saved his life….?"

"Just to save his own skin!" Severus blurted out, before doubling over in a series of coughs. Lily flitted back to him, gently pressing him down into the mattress.

"Ssssssh. Rest now. Rest." She could feel someone's eyes on her, and when she turned, her peripheral vision landed on Black, who was studying her and Severus curiously. Lily cowed him with a protective glower. Turning back to her friend, she noticed the scratch marks on Severus's face, and her frown deepened curiously – all the more so when Dumbledore began using a truly complicated spell to clean them up.

"We should be so fortunate we got the venom out when we did…. I don't think it took hold, so Mr. Snape shouldn't show any affects that are werewolf-like…."

"Werewolf?" Lily yelped. What in Merlin's name had happened out there on the school grounds?

"Snivellus got into a tussle with a werewolf over by the Whomping Willow," Sirius offered up.

"Only because you told me how to, you foul, bloviating…." Severus was reduced to coughing fits again. Lily shook her head; this story was getting more ludicrous by the minute!

"Severus," Dumbledore admonished, a warning in his voice. "That's enough. While we have established that Mr. Black gave you ill advice, you still chose to follow it. You are responsible for ending up at the Willow in the first place."

Severus gawped at the Headmaster in disbelief, and sad frustration, understanding where this was probably leading. It was where skirmishes with the Marauders had ended up before. What was worse was that in this case, Dumbledore was right. Sirius might have told him how to get past the Whomping Willow, but he, Severus, had still made the choice to act on that advice. In the end, the agency rested with him. It wasn't as though Sirius had Confunded or Imperiused him into walking into a trap. Severus had done that himself. And now Potter got to play the hero. Severus still didn't believe – not for a minute – that Sirius had acted alone, or that pointing him towards a trap had been anything other than a right laugh. Potter had to have been in on it somehow, only to get cold feet at the last second. Or maybe Potter had intended all along to ride in and act like the hero, which is exactly how Dumbledore, McGonagall, and half the staff would see him.

So it warmed Severus's heart to see Lily looking like she wanted to hex Black into oblivion. "You egotistical, half-retarded arsehole…"

"Miss Evans!" McGonagall shrieked in horror, even as Severus smirked, having never wanted more than now to kiss that filthy mouth of his best friend right off. "If you berate Mr. Black much further, I shall have to dock points from Gryffindor!"

Lily pursed her mouth in a thin line, but backed down. "Forgive me, Professor." If she was expected to apologize to Black, she didn't offer it up, nor did McGonagall make her. For his part, Sirius appeared quite stunned, almost in an admiring way. All the same, Severus thought bitterly, he was also quite the actor, for how convincingly he appeared guilty.

Lily turned when she felt Madame Pomfrey's hand on her shoulder. "I think you had best return to your dormitory, dear. Mr. Snape is well-tended."

"Can't I stay?" Lily pleaded.

Dumbledore's eyes shifted for just a moment. "I think it best you return to Gryffindor Tower, Miss Evans."

Lily nodded reluctantly. "May I at least say goodnight?" Her emerald eyes shifted to smile at Severus.

"You may, child. But be quick about it," McGonagall acquiesced.

Lily knelt at Severus's side. "How long will they keep you?" she murmured.

"Dunno. Till the morning, I reckon."

She nodded, leaning over and pressing her lips to his forehead. "I'll be back," she whispered against his skin.

For some reason, Dumbledore was smiling in an almost knowing way. "Oh, to be young, and to feel love's keen sting."

Caught off-guard, Lily blushed furiously, her mouth opening but refusing to work. As there was nothing she could think to say, Lily opted to hurry out of the hospital wing as quickly as possible, her head spinning in surprise. Her…. in love with…. Severus? Her head told her the thought was absurd, even as her heart did happy flip-flops at the thought.

Once Lily was gone, Dumbledore turned back to the three young men. "As for you three gentlemen…." His aged gaze fixed on James first.

"James, you are a brave lad. What you did today was incredible."

"Thank you, Professor."

"I am very proud of what you've done tonight," he continued. "It wouldn't have been easy, would it, saving Severus Snape's life?"

He swallowed, speechless. What could he possibly say to that? Dumbledore smiled at him, and said, "A hundred points for Gryffindor, James."

James gawked – a hundred points was unheard of. "Thank you, Professor," he said again, feeling quite foolish. Dumbledore smiled again and moved over to the next bed.

Sirius was staring at James, who looked down to avoid meeting his eyes. For a moment, there was an awkward silence, broken by Sirius saying, "I'm sorry, James. I truly am."

James looked up at last. He took a deep breath, let it out, and nodded, smiling. He held out his hand; Sirius clasped it, hard. He looked into James' eyes for a brief instant, then just as quickly, looked away. "I'll never forgive myself. If something had happened–"

"Please, Sirius, let's not talk about what could have happened, okay?" James begged. "We're both alive and safe, I've won Gryffindor a hundred points–"

"Fifty, actually. You think McGonagall let me go scot free?" Sirius smiled bleakly.

James returned it. "You told McGonagall, I suppose, after I left."

"And she hurried over to Dumbledore, and then we hurried over to the castle doors," Sirius finished.

James swung his legs over the side of the bed and got up slowly, walking towards Snape's cot. Dumbledore was talking to Snape in gentle tones. Severus turned, saw James coming, and looked irate. "You–" he began.

"Now, calm down," Dumbledore said.

"But, Professor, he and Sirius lied to–"

"Sirius acted of his own accord. James knew nothing of it until Sirius told him." Dumbledore said firmly. "Do not hold him responsible for crimes he hasn't committed. And do try and remember he saved your life. The Whomping Willow is quite capable of murder, I assure you."

Snape looked from Dumbledore to James to Sirius and back to Dumbledore. "Yes, Professor," he muttered.

"I believe you saw Remus?"

James started as Snape nodded. "Yes, I did. The werewolf."

James could have sworn there was an undercurrent of scorn in Snape's voice, but Dumbledore appeared not to have noticed. "Severus, you will not tell anybody about Remus Lupin—and I mean anybody."

"But Professor, he's dangerous–"

"He's not a danger to any of you while in human form," the professor returned, rather tersely.

"He's a werewolf, Professor. How harmless can he be?"

James' annoyance had reached its head. "Don't talk about him that way," he said through gritted teeth before the Headmaster could respond.

Severus regarded him with distaste. "We could have been killed by him tonight, Potter. He was right there. If you hadn't –"

"But I was, so it doesn't matter! And you wouldn't be there too, if you hadn't been such a stupid–"

Dumbledore cleared his throat warningly, and James fell silent at once, though he continued to glare balefully at Snape. True to his nature, Severus gave him the same look right back. "I wouldn't have been there," he said softly, "if someone hadn't been stupid enough to lie to me about it."

"Severus, that is enough." Snape looked at the Headmaster and stopped. "Sirius has been reprimanded– and punished – for what he did. I hardly think he will do anything so imprudent again. That matter is closed. Now, Remus–"

"If the parents find out about the werewolf, they'll cause a riot," Severus said quickly.

James snapped. "Don't call him a werewolf!" he thundered.

Dumbledore pretended not to hear him. Nor did he appear to notice the look of pure hatred that Severus sent his way. Beside him, Sirius stirred as if to say something, but he kept silent, although his grip on James' wrist tightened so much it became painful.

"Do not presume to tell me how to run my school, Severus," Dumbledore said quietly, with a gravity that made even Severus look slightly abashed. "Remus will continue to study at this school for as long as he wishes. He will go to the Shrieking Shack for his transformation, as he has been doing for four years now. I do not think anyone will be foolish enough to go near that tree, especially when they hear of what happened to you. There is no cause for worry." James wondered what made Dumbledore believe that Snape was actually worried about the safety of the students.

"Now, Severus, I want you to swear to me that you will not tell anybody what you saw."

Severus, whose head had dropped with every sentence that Dumbledore spoke, looked up with a start, his greasy hair falling in his face. "But–"

"No, Severus. My mind is made up, and nothing you say will make me rethink my decision. Swear to me, now."

After a seemingly superhuman effort, Severus muttered, "I swear it."

"The only people who know that he is a werewolf are the staff–who will never reveal it to anybody– and his closest friends, and you." Dumbledore paused for an instant. "You understand, Severus? James, Sirius and Peter will never tell on Remus, and neither will the teachers. If anybody finds out, I will hold you utterly responsible. And the day anyone finds out will be the last day in Hogwarts for you–though it certainly won't be for Remus. Do I make myself clear?"

Severus dipped his head fractionally, but James could see the burning resentment in his eyes. Dumbledore observed him for a while longer, a thoughtful expression on his face, and James wondered what he was thinking. Finally, the Professor said, "Sirius, do you have anything to say?"

Next to him, Sirius started slightly. "I–erm," he cleared his throat self-consciously.

Dumbledore turned and gave him a stern look. "I hope you understand the risk that Severus had been placed in because of you?" James grit his teeth as Severus grinned wickedly at Sirius, who nodded curtly. "And I hope you feel thoroughly ashamed of yourself for nearly bringing about the death of a fellow student?"

"Yes, Professor."

"And you've nothing to say to Severus?" Dumbledore asked.

James shot Sirius a look. Sirius looked at James for all of a second, then looked at Severus. "I'm sorry," he ground out with some difficulty.

James had to fight to keep his grin under control – Sirius had said the word 'sorry' as if it had stabbed him in the gut – but Severus's glare continued unabated. "Sorry for what? That your brilliant plan didn't work out the way you wanted it to? That I didn't die, like you so obviously wanted? That Potter got wounded, which you just as obviously didn't want? Or that Potter—"

"Oh, cut it!" Sirius said. "You can take that apology any way you want, I don't care. You know perfectly well that if you hadn't been sniffing around about Remus, I wouldn't have told you. I figured you wouldn't believe me, but no, you still went. Let this serve as a lesson to you, Severus. Try and keep your nose out of our business."

James watched the Headmaster. Dumbledore looked disappointed, and annoyed as well. When Sirius finished, he sighed deeply. "Obviously your childish animosity runs so deep you can't even apologize properly. I can't make you put aside your dislike for each other, but I will tell you this — there may well come a time when you will have to rely on each other for survival, and what will you do then?"

No one said anything. Dumbledore sighed, and said, "I need hardly say that I expected better from you. Both of you." He turned to look at Severus, gave James a little nod and a smile, and walked out of the room. At the door he stopped and said quietly. "Don't let your dislike for each other — or anybody else, for that matter —increase to such an extent that you can no longer distinguish between your allies and your true enemies. That would not only be foolish, but also fatal for you. All of you." James got the feeling that Dumbledore looked extra-hard at him as he said this. With those parting words, he left.

Madam Pomfrey entered just then, and shooed Sirius out of the hospital wing, after ordering James to get back in bed. He was only too happy to acquiesce – a little longer and he would have collapsed. He'd almost dozed off when Severus spoke.

"Coward."

James was still wondering over Sirius' speech. "Huh?"

"You honestly think I believe Dumbledore?"

James turned to stare at Severus. "I don't care what you believe, Snape."

"Oh, so it's Snape now, is it? Not Snivellus? Not Snivelly?" Snape let out a harsh laugh, then stopped and glowered at James, fury and loathing etched on his face. "You can fool Dumbledore, Potter, and everybody else, but I know what you really are. And don't for a moment think I believe that you saved my life. You were simply too much of a coward to go through with the rest of the plan, weren't you? Gryffindor courage at its finest."

"Shut up, Snivelly. You know, maybe I really should've let you lie there. To die."

But even as he said those words, he knew he didn't mean them.

"Remus Lupin. The werewolf." Snape laughed harshly. "I was right all along. The friends you make, Potter. Can you sink any lower than this?"

"That werewolf, Snivellus, is a much better person than you can ever be."

"I've no doubt," he said sneeringly. "He probably gives alms to the poor and acts like a proper gentleman – except when he's not itching to sink his teeth into human flesh."

"Shut up," he said. He could feel his hands balling into fists.

"Actually, it was a pity you weren't finished off by him back there. You'd be dead, Remus would be expelled for killing you– maybe even sent to Azkaban, if I got lucky – and Sirius would be expelled too, because he'd be blamed for it all. All three of you, gone in one night, like that." He snapped his fingers theatrically. "My dream come true."

James rolled his eyes. And Lily Evans thought he was the mean, cruel one. Thinking of her made him wonder whose version of the story she'd believe – his, or Snape's. She would obviously blame Sirius, there was no getting around that; the facts were largely open and shut regarding his involvement. "Enchanting thought. Just you wait till we're out of here, Snivellus."

"I know. Once we're out of here, all your notions of valour and chivalry will disappear into thin air, won't they?"

James figured there was no way he could get Snape to like him anyway, so he simply nodded and said, "Yep. Exactly."

Severus snorted. "But now that you're alone, you won't try to hex me, will you? James Potter, the proudest Gryffindor in history, is too afraid to take on a Slytherin by himself."

James got up abruptly, and Severus stiffened, his hand going automatically for his wand. James grabbed his wand as Severus pulled his out.

"Expelliarmus."

Severus's wand flew out of his hand, sailing towards James, who caught it deftly, pocketing it. He pointed his own at Severus, who was now sitting upright, rigid and furious. "Go on," he said. "Hex me. If you're brave enough to."

"Levicorpus."

Now Snape was dangling in mid-air, his eyes blazing. James cocked his head. "Proven wrong, huh, Snivellus?"

The sound of approaching footsteps made James look to the door. Madam Pomfrey was coming back. He jerked his wand upwards and Severus fell back onto the bed with a loud groan. "My ankle!" he exclaimed.

"I was being careful," James said. He had, really. Severus hadn't noticed it –obviously – but James had taken care not to make him land in such a way that there wouldn't be any pressure on his sprained ankle.

Madam Pomfrey came into the room. James idly wondered what her reaction would be if he called her 'Poppy', the way Dumbledore did. "How are you feeling, young man?" she asked cheerily.

"I feel awful," Severus muttered, glaring daggers at James.

"I meant the other young man," she said.

James grinned at the look on Severus's face. "I feel great, thanks."

"Dumbledore said I wasn't to keep you if you wanted to go to your own room." Madam Pomfrey said this with an air that suggested she didn't approve at all.

James slid off the bed. "Right. I think I will." If for no other reason than that Sirius was better company than Snivellus. "Thanks, Madam Pomfrey."

He took out Severus's wand and threw it at him as he passed by his bed.