Chapter 13: Mudblood

Spring arrived, and with it, so did the OWL examinations.

With how busy everything became, Severus felt relieved that at least the Tournament wasn't keeping him awake. The Third and final Task wouldn't be until June, days before the end of term.

Most of his days now were studying, going on Prefect patrols and spending time with his new girlfriend.

First had been a date to Hogsmeade, during which Lily – painfully shy – had expressed to him that she had fancied him for quite a while, but had been so scared and worried about whether or not something deeper would ruin their friendship. Severus had reassured her, though he also had to concede deep respect for Lily's practicality. She had valued him and their friendship so much that she had held off waiting to see if they could become romantically involved as a couple.

In transitioning from best friends to boyfriend and girlfriend, some things didn't have to change. Those things that did were thrilling, exciting and new. Snogging Lily was pure heaven, and Severus more than once had to fight against losing control. By the time Lily was finished with kissing him, he was always painfully hard. If she noticed, she didn't comment on it, nor did she seem to mind his clear attraction to and desire for her.

The best times, of course, were at night, on Prefect patrol. If he and Lily finished their rounds early, they would then retreat to the Library to get some studying in. Severus felt he and Lily did more snogging than studying, but he wasn't about to complain.

As OWLS bore down on them, Severus found he was hanging around more and more with the Gryffindors. Well, really, three Gryffindors: his Lily, Mary MacDonald and a quiet, but polite Remus Lupin.

In observing the Gryffindor couple everyone their year was talking about, Severus felt relieved that he and Lily were in agreement that they should be very discreet in their relationship. Lily understood that Severus valued his privacy. By contrast, Remus and Mary, in their affections, were very, very public, and seemed to care not a whit at who might be staring.

On this particular bright, sunny spring morning, Severus was huddled with his three Gryffindor pals under one tree. Mary MacDonald was fully in Remus's lap, straddling him. From the way she snogged the bloke, she looked like she was trying to swallow his face. It was a rather nauseating display, Severus had to silently admit: at least when he and Lily made out, they were careful not to be sloppy about it.

The Gryffindor couple finally came up for air, and Mary cheekily wiggled her bottom along Remus's lap, causing him to groan audibly. "You little minx!"

Mary just giggled, running her hands through Remus's hair (which he had grown out far too long, in Severus's humble opinion). "My, your lung capacity certainly has improved."

"Well," Remus smirked, glancing askance once to Severus. "I've been working out more lately."

"Yet another reason to keep Quidditch lessons at school," Mary laughed. Lily and Severus stole a glance to each other, both of them knowing damn well Remus wasn't filling out due to playing Quidditch, but they kept their thoughts to themselves.

Mary beamed softly at her lover, hands playing along the nape of his neck. "Now: deep breath, and….." Leaning in, the pair lost themselves in a passionate snog. Watching them, Lily giggled, though her smile was tight so as to almost be a grimace. Lacing her fingers through Severus's hand, she squeezed.

"You'd tell me if we ever got like that, right?"

"Too late, my love," Severus smirked, eyes dancing with mirth. "We're worse."

She gawked at him, letting out an offended little laugh at his teasing. "Sev!"

Chortling, Severus swooped in and kissed her for a few moments, which Lily happily allowed. "Teasing. But you can be sure, my dear, that if we ever did get so ridiculous, I'd hex myself first."

"Hmm," Lily purred, playing with loose strands of his silky black hair. "Good man." Leaning in, she pecked his lips chastely.

"I think I'll head over there. Get a bit of light reading in," Severus pointed to a smaller tree over the next hillock.

Lily kissed him again quickly. "Hurry back," she crooned.

"So long as they've stopped," Severus gestured at Remus and Mary, who were too engrossed in who could suck their partner's tongue into their mouth deeper to notice as Lily's boyfriend ambled away.

Settling under the smaller sycamore tree, Severus pulled a textbook out of his bag. Ancient Runes was his next exam, and he needed to be prepared. Just a few more weeks, and then he'd have the whole summer to snog Lily…. and perhaps more whenever and wherever he damn well pleased, all over Spinner's End.

"All right, Snivellus?"

Severus glanced up at the mocking nickname just in time to see his vision cloud over in purple.

There was a BANG! and Severus was launched a foot or so into the air, landing hard and rolling a little ways down the hillock, until he was nearly out of the shadow of the tree. Glancing up, he tried not to wince at James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew bearing down on him. Potter's face was twisted into an ugly sneer. There seemed to be an aura of…. jealousy surrounding the Gryffindor prat, and Severus couldn't help but smirk as he figured he knew why.

"Expelliarmus!" James flicked his wand almost lazily as Severus dove for his own. Severus's wand spun up and over his head.

"Impedimenta!"

There was a jerk behind his ankle and Severus was suddenly dangling upside down. Everything else in his pockets that wasn't tied down came tumbling out to the ground. Pettigrew gleefully went through his things, though Severus was satisfied when a Sneakascope hit sodding Black in the eye on its way down.

"What did you think of the exam, Snivellus?" James asked casually. Even with everything disoriented, Severus could see Remus and Mary – no longer preoccupied with sucking each other's faces – start to head over and see what was the matter. Remus would call off his mates; he had done it before…..

Though the blood was starting to rush to his head, Severus managed to grind out, "I think I scored higher marks than you did, you bastard!"

He was glad to see that James was thin-skinned enough to let the blow land. "Wash out your mouth," he rumbled coolly. "Scorgify!"

Severus crashed to the ground, but was only given a second's reprieve from Impedimenta before he began frothing at the mouth, spluttering Pepto-Bismol-pink soap bubbles. Potter and his friends chortled with glee. Glancing behind him, Severus spotted his wand in the grass, and began to crawl inch-by-inch over to it; the Marauders didn't appear to notice, as they were getting into an almost friendly argument with Remus about laying off.

Then, a shrill, strong voice echoed across the lawn:

"Leave him ALONE!"

Severus turned to see his Lily, terrifying and beautiful, stalking across the grounds like a tiger on the prowl. Severus noticed Potter trying to muss down his hair. The two-timer even cleared his throat, so that when he spoke next, he sounded casual, almost friendly. It was a blatant form of gas-lighting that left Severus shaking with rage.

"All right, Evans?"

Lily ignored him. "Leave him alone! What's he done to you?"

"Well…." James chuckled, a little awkwardly. "It's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean…" By now, a crowd had formed, most of them laughing at James's stand-up comedy shtick.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Clearly. But you're still just an arrogant toerag, Potter. Leave him alone!"

"I will if you got with me, Evans." Severus wanted to roar in anger at the blatant blackmail. Did the man have no propriety or shame? "Go on. Go out with me, and I'll never lay a hand on old Snivellus again."

Lily's teeth gnashed and she got right in James's face, so he could hear her hiss, "I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the Giant Squid! You make me sick!"

James blinked, taken aback. He called over his shoulder, still not noticing how Severus was getting ever closer to his wand. "You're lucky you have Evans here to fight your battles, Snivellus!"

Severus's eyes locked with those of Lily's filled with compassion and concern. Felt the soap bubbles nearly choking him and reminding him of his inadequacy.

Years later, he wasn't quite sure what made him do it. How the embarrassment over being laid so low won out over knowing that someone was in his corner. Someone cared for him.

"I don't need help from filthy Mudbloods like her!"

Lily reared back, looking as though Severus had just slapped her. Tears swam in her eyes, and her mouth collapsed into a very thin line.

"Fine. If that's how you feel about it, Snape. But don't expect me to fight your battles anymore." And she turned away back to their favorite tree.

"Evans! Hey, EVANS!" But she didn't look back at Potter's call. "What is it with her?" He asked Sirius.

Sirius merely patted his best mate on the shoulder. "Bad luck, Prongs." Then, he happened to cast a glance back over his shoulder…. just as Severus's fingers were closing around his wand.

"OI!"

Too late. Severus felt the spell bellow in his head: SECTUMSEMPRA!

There was a flash of red, and when it cleared, James Potter was staggering back, a bloody gash across his cheek and miring his pretty boy face. He snarled audibly, and suddenly Severus found himself disarmed and hanging upside down again.

"Who wants to see me take off Snivellus's pants?" There were jeers and shouts of encouragement.

But then suddenly, Severus was back on the ground, and he noted how Remus was pushing his way to the front.

"That's enough of that! Can't you three yahoos act like you didn't just get lost on the way to the bloody zoo?!"

Severus was surprised to see how this verbal jab landed harder than he imagined it would have. Potter was blinking rapidly, a deep hurt in his brown eyes. Pettigrew actually looked close to tears. Sirius bristled in deep offense.

For his part, Remus also seemed to realize what he had just said. Almost like he regretted his words. Severus felt a reservoir of gratitude – albeit grudging – bubble up in him at Remus calling a halt.

"Now, wait, Sirius…. I didn't mean…."

"Cut it," Sirius spat, turning on his heel and prowling away, like some kind of rabid dog.

"James….?"

James shifted his face away, mumbling something that sounded like, "Sod off, you lot. Show's over." And he actually took Peter's hand, like a father might do with a small child, and led him away.

Hanging his head, Remus sighed, unaware how a recovering Severus was watching the whole thing. A spat between the Marauders…. Well, that was certainly interesting, and perhaps even the one good thing to come out of this mess, at least.

Then Severus's gaze happened to land on Mary. She turned away with cold indifference, a hand on Remus's arm, and for the first time, Severus realized just what words he had said, and how he couldn't take them back.

He would wait here all night. Sleep on the floor, if he had to.

Thank Merlin he had walked Lily here enough times to know what portrait it was. Bringing his knees up tighter around him to guard against the castle's draftiness, Severus could feel the Fat Lady's eyes on him. If she had judgment, though, she didn't voice it. Bloody fine by him. Severus knew he had been judged today enough as it was.

The sound of giggling made him glance up, and Mary MacDonald and Remus Lupin came around the next bend in the corridor, Mary beaming radiantly and stopping every few feet to kiss her fellow Prefect and boyfriend. The couple pulled up short when they saw who was waiting for them.

"Severus…." Remus admonished gently. "What are you doing out of bed?"

"I'm a Prefect, same as you," Severus shot back. "I'm allowed to be out here!" Too late, he realized how harsh he sounded, and tried to relax whatever hostility he displayed in his features or his tone. This man had helped save him, after all. Sure, he figured Remus could have been a little more forceful in disciplining his mates, or gotten on with it faster, but Severus nonetheless knew that his beef wasn't really with the quiet Gryffindor boy.

Luckily, Remus didn't seem to take offense to Severus's tone. "True, but you weren't assigned to patrol this evening," he reminded him.

"I made a mistake," Severus hung his head. "I need to speak with Lily, if she's awake and of the mind to."

He noticed how Mary was biting her lip, almost painfully. "Severus…. I don't think she wants to see you right now…."

"Don't bloody care," Severus clipped. "I'll stay out here all night if I have to. Please, Mary – can't you talk to her?"

Remus and Mary looked at each other. The beautiful Irish girl finally shook her head, muttering, "I must be out of my mind…" Looping her arm through Lupin's, they approached the portrait hole and gave the password – quietly, though Severus heard it anyway. He briefly debated using the password himself to gain entry, should Mary fail in getting Lily to come out.

When the portrait hole swung open, Mary turned back. "Wait here," she commanded of him.

Severus resolved that he would, but only for a reasonable amount of time. If Lily failed to show, well, he was coming in after her. After all, he had the password now.

Three minutes passed. Then five. At close to ten minutes, Severus was just about ready to give up and have a go at breaking in to another House's common room, when the portrait hole swung open.

The Fat Lady gave him a reproachful look that clearly said, You're lucky you're getting even this, and then she appeared. His Lily.

Severus scrambled to his feet, before pondering better on it and considering whether or not to remain prostrate on his knees. He didn't mind begging, if that's what it would take, and it likely would.

"I'm sorry…."

"Save your breath." He flinched at the ice of her words, like a slap across the face.

"I'm sorry, all right? I don't know what I was thinking!"

"No, you weren't thinking. At least you've managed to conclude that much!"

"Look: the guy you met when we were children – the guy you took to the Yule Ball is way more me than the guy who said those stupid things!" Severus pleaded.

Lily let out something that sounded like a scoff, turning on her heel as if to leave. Grabbing her arm, Severus felt a bizarre strength course through him (some might call it Gryffindor courage) and crowding Lily up against the portrait hole, he kissed her fiercely.

He was satisfied when he felt her melt against him, even return the kiss a little, but then she pushed him away. Hard.

Severus staggered back, his eyes wide and disbelieving. Biting her lip, Lily closed into herself. Hugging her own thin frame, arms folded protectively.

"Sev, I…. I think it's best that we…. take a break. That we don't see each other for a while."

His jaw dropped. He could almost hear his heart shattering. "No…. But I don't want to…. I'll fix this, I promise!"

"I…. believe you," she admitted haltingly. "But I really need to see it. Until then… Goodbye, Severus." And she turned sadly towards the open portrait hole and clambered through it. The sound of the Fat Lady closing behind her seemed to echo.

Severus was crestfallen. There went his chance. His one chance, and he had blown it. Turning away, he trudged morosely back to the Gryffindor Common Room.

By the time he reached the dungeons, his melancholy had festered into a deep-seated anger. The face of a laughing, arrogant boy, chuckling, rent-free, in his head.

And Severus knew: he would hate James Potter for the rest of his days and make him pay, if it was the last thing he ever did.