Chapter 27: Veritaserum

"So," Lily said almost casually after nearly a week of silence that had felt more like ten years to Severus, as for the whole agonizing week he had felt like both nothing and like everything had changed-

She had dropped her indifferent demeanor toward him but somehow managed to do so without actually saying a word, instead simply catching his eye and smirking whenever someone else said something excessively stupid, smiling at him just a little more warmly than she did at others when they passed in the halls- but still, inexplicably, she remained silent. He had contemplated the possibility that she was waiting for him to speak first but he somehow found himself totally lacking the confidence to begin-

And so he nearly jumped as she said the single word and slid into her now regular seat at the faculty table before turning to face him, smiling almost mischievously. He nodded curtly back, and, grateful as he was that she was talking to him, he couldn't shake the feeling that she wanted something- and badly.

"Can I help you?" he inquired, sounding distant and unapproachable even to himself, and he hated himself for that, despised that what he knew was a necessity in other areas of his life was hurting his interactions with lily-

But she just looked at him with something resembling amusement before saying teasingly, "I guess we'll see."

He waited for her to continue, not believing she would leave it at that, unable to account for her odd mood, especially when she was always melancholy at breakfast-

But it quickly became clear to him that however long he might wait she wouldn't be continuing now as she began to pick at her food, and he was almost relieved that despite her inexplicable mood she still seemed to have no appetite. He reluctantly turned back to his eggs before swivelling back toward her despite himself and near-growling, "Might it not be wise of you to share with me what 'we'll see' about?"

To his surprise she let out something that sounded remarkably like a snort before scoffing, "Ask a favor of Severus Snape before he's eaten? You really must think I'm an idiot," and nonchalantly continuing to sip her juice.

He felt simultaneous defiance and amusement warring within him, but as she cheekily arched an eyebrow he decided not to over think it as he forced himself to eat some toast, wondering if she really was such a fool as to think he would deny her something it was within his power to give-

And remembered with a sinking heart that he had given her ample cause to believe just that-

But as he risked a glance at her out of the corner of his eye, saw her biting the very corner of her lip in the same way she used to when the were children and she thought she might be in trouble he sighed, turning back toward her and trying his best to force a friendly, approachable expression onto his face, feeling like he had when he was still 8 years old and trying so hard to figure out how to best approach her-

"Just tell me," he sighed, knowing the words sounded long-suffering and for half a second he was almost amused by himself- by what he had come to. "You must be aware that chances of my saying no are slim to none-"

She looked at him as though she doubted that before blurting, "Dumbledore-might-have-said-you're-teaching-your-6th-years-how-to-make-Veritaserum-today," before adding in a rush, 'And I sort of wondered if maybe I could come watch."

"Watch?" He echoed, arching a skeptical eyebrow. "If I didn't know better I would think you were after my job-"

"No," she said shortly, clearly unsure whether he was teasing her or not. "I've no desire to teach potions, but in order to become an Auror I wrote my final paper on Veritaserum. I think maybe- I mean I feel like-"

"I never denied you were more naturally talented at potions than I," Severus said shortly as her brow furrowed slightly in confusion. "You probably have more magic inside you than anyone I've ever seen, including-"

"Whatever," she cut him off shortly, clearly not in the mood for… something, though what exactly Severus wasn't sure. "I expected you to say no-"

"It would be an honor to have you come instruct my class on the subtleties of Veritaserum," he said abruptly, not giving her time to respond before he stood up and stalked from the Dining Hall, not seeing the warm gratitude on her face.

Severus didn't know quite how to feel as students who were ambivalent and almost cold toward him looked at Lily in something resembling awe as they filed far more slowly than usual out of his classroom; a classroom that under normal circumstances they always seemed eager to leave, even those most gifted in Potions-

"I suppose it's lucky you don't want my job," he stiffly attempted to joke and to his surprise she flushed, muttering something he didn't quite catch about how she was sure he was far better than her under normal circumstances, then, louder, "Anyway, I have no idea what I'm doing-"

"No,' he disagreed sharply before adding firmly, "Anyone can see you're a brilliant teacher-"

"I was a better Auror," she said shortly, the dejected look that had so often been on her face in the past week returning as she seemed to realize the day was over before she seemed to shake her head, almost willing herself to be happy as she said, "Why do you keep it so dark down here, Sev?"

"Perhaps it's escaped your notice, Lily, but this is a dungeon," he fired back almost sarcastically, instantly wishing he hadn't as he feared it would hurt her feelings-

But to his surprise she merely let out a laugh before shaking her head. "Just like it's escaped your notice, Sev, that only about a third of the torches down here are lit?"

"The darkness suits me," he snapped without thinking and her brow furrowed before from nowhere he felt a gentle hand on his arm, and he fought the immediate instinct to pull away as she whispered, with more certainty than he had heard from her since they were teenagers,

"Oh Severus, the darkness doesn't suit you at all. It never did."

And as she took a small, almost hesitant step toward him he felt the shell he kept up around himself beginning to crumble as he began heavily, "Lily, I-" before the dark mark burned hot against his arm, summoning him- and he pulled roughly away from her, remembering who he was, he situation he was in, the fact that her very life depended on his remaining strong before snapping,

"I need to go."

She frowned, looking confused and hurt as she blurted, "But- I kind of hoped that-"

"Hope is futile," he barked, not turning away quickly enough to avoid seeing her face crumple at his words before he stormed out of the dungeon.