Chapter 40: The In-Laws Are Coming

Severus and Lily stood back from striking the doorknocker, huddled together on the stoop of this house on a quiet Muggle street. His wife had insisted on taking a car rather than coming by Apparation. Severus had agreed, though it had meant briefly returning to Godric's Hollow.

The Potters had owned a car (according to Lily, James had liked the feel of driving one, as he had felt the rush wasn't all that different from riding a broomstick). The automobile was used, though – when Severus arrived to quickly spirit it away – thankfully, still in working order, and untorched. The same couldn't be said for the ruins of what had once been the Potters' house, and Severus was glad Lily had stayed behind, primping herself in their professor chambers. She didn't need to see this. Besides, where they were going, there would be enough stress.

He let Lily drive, despite the clear anxiousness she was feeling, but better to have an experienced if also stressed driver than a calm but inexperienced one. Lily promised to teach Severus how to drive one day, which he agreed to, if only to make her happy. Despite growing up not too far from a Muggle neighborhood, despite his Muggle mother owning a car, Eileen had never taught him how to operate it. It seemed far too complicated, with all the bells and whistles, but then again, Severus had to conclude, Muggles made too many things overly-complicated.

"When was the last time you even talked to your sister?" Severus murmured to his wife as they waited on the front stoop of Number 4, Privet Drive.

"A letter about Harry's birth announcement… just about two years ago now." She bit her lip. "Tuney did send me a vase for Christmas in '80, but other than that…"

Severus blinked. He remembered the former Petunia Evans well, and not at all fondly. All he knew about his now sister-in-law was that she too was married, and was the mother of a two-year-old toddler who was a month older than Harry.

"And you had to ask her to come to dinner?"

"Just a phone call. Barely lasted a minute. I wanted her to meet you." Lily squeezed his arm, smiling as radiantly as she could, but Severus could tell it was forced.

"She already knows me. And hates me," Severus muttered dryly.

"I'm sure it's not that horrible…. Tuney!" Lily's entire timbre and expression changed into something sunny as Petunia Dursley finally opened the door, looking awfully wary. Lily embraced her sister; Petunia didn't hug her back, her attention now focused on Severus.

Silently, the Muggle woman ushered her sister and Severus into the foyer. "How… how are you feeling?" Petunia asked awkwardly.

"I'm…. better," Lily managed. "Getting there. I, um…. I've since remarried," and curling her arm through Severus's, she gave him a loving squeeze.

Petunia's eyebrows were now nearly in her hairline and stitched together besides, as she glanced between the two of them. "You married Snape?!" A pause, and then, "Well…. you certainly moved on quickly."

Severus frowned hard. Petunia wasn't the first to note how soon Lily had married again after the death of her first husband. He doubted she would be the last. Sirius Black, the bleeding bastard, had been hung up on it as well, finally coming around to Lily's new marriage grudgingly. Remus Lupin, though he had yet to remarry after being widowed himself several years ago, had been more polite and open about it, though cautiously so.

"Sev… Sev and I work together as teachers at the school. He's been very helpful in allowing me to grieve. Supporting me." Lily stood on her tiptoes to softly kiss his cheek.

Petunia's eyes narrowed, and by that Severus knew what 'school' meant: Hogwarts. "You're teaching there now? You never seemed cut out for an educational career, sissy."

Severus could feel Lily bristling, but her tone remained admirably cordial and measured as she replied, "Yes, it has been an adjustment…"

"I should say it has," Petunia interrupted, rather rudely, Severus thought. "Weren't you some sort of…. law enforcement officer before?"

"Yes," Lily confirmed. They were interrupted just then by a little toddler waddling into the room on chubby legs. Petunia's face lit up with a happiness Severus had never seen from her before, not even when they were children, as she picked the little boy up in her arms.

Lily broke out into a beaming, let's-give-him-a-chance kind of smile as she beheld her nephew – who, Severus, had to concede, was truly the fattest baby he had ever seen. Only he could detect the hint of sadness in his bride's eyes, even as she clutched at the slight swell of her belly. "Hi, Dudley!"

Dudley (Merlin, what a name!, Severus groused) pointed a ballooned finger the size of a mini-salami at his aunt and loudly asked, "Who dat?!"

"Who is that, Dudders, dear," Petunia loftily corrected her son's grammar. "This…. this is your Aunt Lily. Remember? Aunt Lily?"

"That's right!" Lily cooed. "Hey – I got something for you!" And she reached into her pocket.

At this, Petunia flinched as though her sister was about to brandish a weapon. Severus figured it probably would have been worse if they had arrived wearing their usual robes and not in Muggle clothing. But Lily was still smiling kindly as she held out a toy ducky to Dudley. Dudley took the ducky, twisted it this way and that to inspect it, before finally lobbing the thing away from him. It bounced off his aunt's nose.

"No!"

Lily blinked rapidly, leaving Severus to catch the ducky as it fell towards the floor. If Petunia was embarrassed by her son's behavior, she didn't show it beyond a weak admonishment of, "Duddykins! It's not nice to throw things at people!"

At that moment, Severus happened to lock eyes with the bratty baby. Dudley now pointed at him.

"Ugly!"

If Severus didn't know any better, the bitch probably agreed with her son's assessment. Certainly, she had never approved of him when he and Lily were small.

Before Petunia could try and spin that one away, a large voice came wafting from the kitchen down the hall, "PETUNIA! Is the roast almost ready?"

"Just coming, darling!" Petunia swept down the hall with Dudley still in her arms, leaving her sister and brother-in-law in the lurch in the foyer.

Severus's lip curled into a sneer, still smarting at Dudley's mockery of his looks. "Bloated little shit…." He started to storm down the hall, but Lily halted him, smiling softly.

"Take it easy, Sev, he's just a little boy…."

"A little boy who's going to be a big prim a donna someday! Would you have ever let Harry act like that?"

Lily bit her lip. "No. Certainly not." She shrugged. "Dudley's only two. He'll grow out of it. Besides…. That's not the worst part." Reaching up, she kissed him softly. "Be calm and be patient, because Vernon will no doubt test both."

It didn't take long for Severus to realize that his wife was right. Vernon Dursley was, for all intents and purposes, a bore. He didn't seem the slightest bit interested in hearing about how Severus and Lily were teachers, and spent much of the dinner conversation droning on about his own success at some place called Grunnings, which, upon further inquiry, was apparently a Muggle drill-making company.

Petunia, at least, was helpful at redirecting the conversation away from this, by, after staring at her sister's swollen stomach for the better part of five minutes, asking loudly, "So you are expecting again?"

"Yes," Lily said quietly, smiling as she ran a hand over her baby bump. "Twins. In the winter."

"Well, I hope they take after you. Your last baby seemed lacking, 'ccording to the pictures," Vernon opined obnoxiously, before appraising Severus with a pointed look.

In a split-second decision, Severus judged that, though both his and his wife's patience was being pushed to their limits, he had to be the one to let calmer heads prevail. It took everything he had not to curse Vernon (both magically and verbally) right there and then, and he had to drag Lily out into the hallway, his lover red-faced and spluttering.

Hands bracing her shoulders as she leaned against a cupboard under the stairs, Severus soothingly rubbed Lily's arms. "Calm down."

"After what that…. galloping whale said about my son?! Harry was the most beautiful baby…. Do they even mourn their nephew?!..."

"Dursley's a loudmouth tosser who doesn't know what he's saying…."

"Doesn't know what he's saying? He looks like he just wandered off the set of The Godfather!"

Severus blinked. "The what?"

"Muggle movie. I'll explain later. Ooooh…. I just want to go in there and give him a piece of my mind…."

Severus didn't think. Pushing Lily up against the stair cupboard, he kissed her hard. Draping her arms about his shoulders, it only took a moment for Lily to melt into the embrace, and when Severus's hands boldly groped lower to feel up her bum, Lily gallingly hitched her leg up around his waist, trapping him against her as her skirt rode high up her thigh. The fabric of her blouse bunched up around her pregnant belly and Severus groaned with arousal.

With the blood rushing out of his head, he nearly lost control enough to take his wife right there against the staircase and shag her senseless. As it was, being a guest in someone else's home, he and Lily resorted to simply snogging and kissing intensely.

"Lily…." A voice from somewhere seemingly far away floated towards them. Emerald eyes closed, all Lily could do was moan into Severus's plundering lips.

"Hmmm….. Mmmmm….."

A sharp clap. "LILY! Stop!"

Severus and Lily jerked out of their kiss sharply, their arms still wound about each other. Petunia was in the doorway of the kitchen, looking deeply uncomfortable.

"If you both are quite finished and of the mind for a more appropriate dessert, there are strawberries and cream on the table." She left briskly.

Smiling at each other shyly, Severus set Lily down, and she smoothed down her skirts.

"Better?" he asked her.

"Loads," and she chastely kissed his lips, eyes grateful. "I suppose we shouldn't keep Tuney waiting…"

He caught her arm and spun her back to face him. Leaning in, they stole one final liplock, kissing deeply before steeling themselves to return to the lions' den.