Chapter 5: It's Chocolate
After a particularly passionate bout of lovemaking, most people call the departure of one lover 'the walk of shame.' But I don't feel any shame as I walk back to the bakery after kissing goodbye and making love to the love of my life. My wife.
Wife. Katniss Everdeen agreed – rather impulsively – to marry me. In fact, she is the one who proposed. We had a Toasting. I'm married. A giddiness fights to claw its way out from around the stone of dread lodged in my heart over the reminder that my marriage – newly christened – could last only mere days. Weeks, if Katniss and I are lucky.
The shame finally comes when I get home, where Mom is waiting for me on the front porch.
"Where have you been? What took you so long?" she demands.
"Said goodbye to the Victors. I figured Haymitch needed to see somebody. And there was a line for Katniss."
I can tell Mom is displeased I went to see Katniss, but she says no more about it beyond muttered grumbling. Coming out the door, Madge and Delly – my sisters-in-law – embrace me warmly. They hover a little, escorting me in, and I wave them off without any malice, letting them know I'm find.
The rest of that night is almost impossible to bear.
We watch the recaps of the Reapings as part of our mandatory viewing on the holoTV, and we've only gotten past the Careers of Districts 1 and 2 before I feel like I'm starting to have an anxiety attack. Of the four toughest tributes, only one of them triumphed in a Games before the last Quarter Quell. The rest of them are mid-twenties or lower, still deadly and beautiful.
The outlier districts run more of a gamut. Watching the last Quarter Quell as a teenager, it was all at once fascinating and nauseating to see how fully mature adults would take to the rigors of the arena. This 4th Quarter Quell is much the same, except these are previous Victors who know what to expect. Who will be the Victor of Victors, the Champion of Champions? I hope against hope it is the lady who I up and fucked in her holding room.
Some of the Reaped Victors are cannon fodder – there is a lady from District 9 who apparently won a couple of years before the First Quarter Quell, which places her in her mid-90s. Others are so wasted by drugs, they seem hopeless, and I hope that Haymitch will be able to stay relatively sober and make a strong showing. The weaker Victors are few and far between, though. A good crop has been culled.
What makes that first night all the worse is how everyone else in my family appears to be tiptoeing around me, sending me almost pitying looks. Injera, my niece, gives me a hug much like her mother and aunt did. Even Bannock is uncharacteristically subdued, the prankster in him gone.
"Hey, Uncle Peeta…. I'm sorry about all this. I know Katniss Everdeen was your…. was your friend."
That, and now much more, kid, I think silently, patting him on the shoulder.
I fall asleep alone in my bed on the night that should have been my wedding night, the night when Katniss and I should be spending hours upon hours making love, curled up in the fetal position and plagued with nightmares. I wake up screaming, and nearly rouse the baby, but if Delly is angry, she doesn't show it.
There is an ironic habit that people in District 12 get into during Games season. For those who can afford it, there is a splurge on all kinds of bread and pastry products, making the weeks the Hunger Games are on among the busiest times of the year for our family bakery. The old adage of many hands make light work is all that really saves us from being overrun. A run on the banks is one thing. A run on the bakery is another matter entirely. But with teamwork, we manage, somehow. Even baby Manny gets in on the action, yelling out every 30 seconds the sales pitch his mother taught him, though it is horribly garbled as a two-year-old's speech can be: "'Ank oo, anave nice day!" (Thank you, and have a nice day!)
I know I owe it to… to my wife to go and check on her family in the Village, but the bread rush is such that I can't get away until mid-afternoon. The Hawthornes should still be well-stocked with bread, but just in case, I slip a loaf under my shirt and announce I'm going for a run. Dad merely nods, and I jog all the way out to Victors' Village.
Prim hugs me tightly, and between her sister back in the Capitol, and her husband down in the mines, I can tell she is deeply scared. The triplets and baby Yarrow are the quietest and most well behaved I've seen them, trudging around like they're at a funeral. The unnerving still is only broken every once in a while by Yarrow calling, "Auntie?" and looking around for Katniss.
Prim is grateful for the bread, and I quietly touch her arm. "Can we talk?"
"Yeah," and we have a seat at the table. Pretty soon, I am spilling everything: how her sister kissed me and confessed her love for me, how I returned it and we were soon making love before we decided to marry in secret. Flushing red, I conclude by smiling, "I got myself a fine sister-in-law in the bargain."
Prim's eyes are shining with tears, as she squeezes my hand. "I'm so happy for you both! And terribly pleased – I know Katty always had feelings for you, but I figured she would rather die of shame before ever telling you." She sighs. "My sister is a very practical woman. She doesn't love too many people, because she fears losing them. She even once swore to me she would never marry or have kids. For her to go back on that word for you… well, she loves you a lot, Peeta."
I stay and listen as Prim tearfully bares her soul to me as well: she is so afraid for Katniss and what might happen if she loses. All too soon, it is time for me to get back to the bakery.
"Thanks for listening, Peeta…." Prim sighs, head in her hand. "It helps."
I clap her on the shoulder. "It's going to be OK…." I smile gamely. "You'll see." And even if I might not believe it myself, I leave my new sister-in-law with a soft peck on the cheek.
Arriving back at the bakery, everything is still so helter-skelter that no one notices how long I was gone. Mom doesn't even bother to berate me for it. The day's work is done, but now we have to all get ready to go down to the Square for mandatory viewing. The tribute parade will be shown tonight. Seeing as we are running late, I decide to pile everyone into the delivery truck so we can get to the check-in desks faster.
Parking at the edge of the Square, I am just locking up the truck when we run into a problem.
"Poopy….." Manny suddenly announces, pointing at his big cousin Damper.
"Oh, no, looks like there was a candy wrapper on the seat…." Madge groans as Damper looks down at his own butt in horror over what he had accidentally been sitting on.
"Manny!"
"Ohhhh…. Leven, you're gonna have to do something…"
"Yeah, I'll get a rag…." My brother fishes out a towel from the truck's front seat.
Mom throws up her hands, fit to be tied.
Leven attempts to wipe down the back of his son's pants and clean what could be misconstrued as a stain. Damper squirms anxiously.
"Dad, stop it!"
"Hold still!" Leven draws back and inspects his handiwork. "You're fine; can't even tell."
But Damper is still mortified. "I'm not going to the Square with a poop stain on my pants."
"Well, you can't miss mandatory viewing!" Madge scolds.
"Let the Peacekeepers flog me, then! I don't care! I'm not going!"
Madge sucks in a breath. "Fine."
My sister-in-law solves the problem by taking one of her decorative scarves and tying it around Damper's waist. My nephew looks like he's wearing a moo-moo, but it covers up the offending stain. I glance to Madge and judge it must be nice being the Mayor's daughter, to afford such nice, Capitol things.
Families attending mandatory viewing are registered with the Peacekeepers by household. We Mellarks wait patiently in line to have our blood scanned for identification, before we'll then be directed to seats in the Square. Scanning my eyes over the heads of the crowd, I can see Prim Hawthorne and her brood in places of honor at the front. Direct relatives of the tributes are always given VIP priority seating.
"The Mellark Family!" At the officer's call, Leven leads us all forward.
"Come on, we're up."
"But…. everyone will see the sweater!" Damper protests.
"People are looking…. OK? So come on, let's go!" Leven clenches out through a way-too-tight smile.
Poor Damper has no choice but to step forward and be registered looking like he's wearing a skirt. The Peacekeeper doing our blood draws notices, but is tactful enough to not say anything.
Unfortunately, that isn't the worst of it.
As we are being led up the center aisle to our seats, Bannock steps on the trail of Madge's scarf, causing it to unravel…. and revealing a rather unflattering stain.
"POOP! He's pooped his pants!" A little girl calls out.
Damper turns bright red and, horror-struck, spins around to where most of District 12 is now watching him.
"No! It isn't what it looks like! It isn't! It's chocolate!" Then, he takes one finger up the crack of his butt. "See? Chocolate!" And as if to prove there is nothing wrong, he licks his finger.
The entire Square cries out and recoils, except for Bannock, who bursts into wild laughter. Damper's embarrassed, sheepish smile morphs into an expression of rage, and he jumps his brother, starting a brawl right there in the Square.
We have guns trained on us for that entire night of mandatory viewing. Katniss and Haymitch made quite a splash at the parade, my wife looking absolutely, breathtakingly beautiful.
But you wouldn't know it listening to Madge Undersee Mellark, as she yells at her sons while we exit the Square, Leven holding them apart. "What did I say about being civil to one another? That's all I asked of you!"
My sister-in-law doesn't let up on her displeasure during the intervening days.
"Well, you have blown it big time!" she growls on the drive back home the night of the parade.
"Never been more embarrassed!" she yells at random the next night after the Victors' first day of training, causing Bannock and I to jump about a foot in the air from where we've been rolling dough.
"Everyone we know was there!" Madge squeaks the following night at the dinner table.
By the end of Training, Madge has been reduced to tears over the sheer mortification of it all, as we're driving across town in the delivery truck to make bread stops. "I have no idea what to say at my parental support group this weekend… I feel like a complete fraud!"
The mood around the house improves somewhat the night the Training score returns are broadcast. Katniss manages an 11, just as she did 26 years ago. Haymitch pulls a 10. I call Primrose that night from our business landline to congratulate her.
But tomorrow night is going to be the real test.
Bannock and Damper are both on their best behavior when we return to the Square for mandatory viewing of the Victor interviews. Leven's stink eye keeps my nephews in line, and after much checking by Damper, there are no errant, melted bars of chocolate in sight.
I pay cursory attention to the strong and deadly Careers, lest I start hyperventilating right there in the Square. From District 3 on, the interviews backslide from tragic to just downright pathetic. Victors who are stoned, Victors who are drunk, Victors bursting into tears like the middle-aged new grandmother from Eight, Cecelia. Only 7 and 11 make a decent showing.
Finally, we are on to District 12, and my heart nearly stops at the glorious red dress Katniss mounts the stage in. I feel something dig into my arm and I look to see that it's Bannock elbowing me playfully in the ribs. His smile is warm and understanding, though, and I nervously grin back.
My god, she's so beautiful….. is she scared? Does she miss me? I can feel the ache in my trousers, and cross my legs to try and hide my happiness at seeing her, albeit only through a screen. In the dampening light, no one, not even my family, notices.
"Now, Katniss, you were a first-year mentor for the last Quell. And your mentor is now your district partner, who won the Second Quell fifty years ago! Do you feel you are ready to fight in this Quell?"
"I am going to do whatever it takes to win," Katniss says solemnly.
"For Prim, your sister?"
"Yes. And for all the other people I love."
Katniss is doing something with her hand, twisting something along it. And Caesar Flickerman notices.
"That's a nice ring."
"Isn't it?" Katniss holds it to the light and smiles. "Effie, my escort, gave it to me."
"Well, it is on a very important finger. Careful now! Some might think you are married!" Caesar chuckles.
Katniss is beaming. "But I am married, Caesar."
Gasps go up in the Square. My family looks shocked, and I put on the acting performance of my life by pretending to be surprised as well. Locking eyes with Madge, I can tell she doesn't believe me; my sister-in-law is studying me funny.
"When did this happen?" Rye asks.
"Darn!" Damper kicks at a pebble near his feet, face bashfully red, and I quirk a bemused eyebrow in his direction.
Caesar looks shocked and delighted. "The Girl on Fire had a wedding? All right, do tell us about your husband, Katniss! Is he Capitol? A district man?"
"He's from Twelve. A baker's son. Passionate. Passionate and perfect…. With eyes as blue as a summer sky…." Katniss's voice has fallen to a whisper, her gaze trailing off to somewhere in the distance. From the screen, it appears like she's looking right at me.
Just as most everyone else in the Square is now looking at me. For there's only one son of a baker in Twelve who, until recently, was a bachelor. My grin is more of a grimace, and I sheepishly wave.
Mom's face seems undecided over whether it should be burning red or white as a sheet, and she muscles down the line of our family to try and get to me. "Peeta Dannel Mellark…..!"
Rye holds her back. "Calm down now!"
"We got married in secret, in the Justice Building. Had a Toasting," Katniss is bubbling. "We wasted so much time, we didn't want to waste any more."
"So romantic! And quite interesting, because I think we can corroborate that. Play this back, folks…."
Suddenly, to my horror, there is security camera footage from the Justice Building. I am holding Katniss up against the wall, thrusting into her as she wriggles and cries out against me.
Damper's face lights up like a Winter Festival tree, and Leven has to frantically cover his son's eyes. Madge plugs his ears for good measure. Bannock is smirking and whooping, but when Rye and Delly try to shield his eyes and ears, my eldest nephew fights them off.
"No way, fools! This is the best porn I've ever seen!"
I'm not watching this….. I'm not…. I cast a mortified glance over the rest of my family. Injera, my niece, is biting her lip and looking like she wants to bury her face in her skirts.
Everything is shown. Our first kiss, our lovemaking, our Toasting over the Mayor's hearth. When the tape ends, the Capitol zooms in on Katniss's face to get a reaction shot.
My wife is shaking in embarrassment and rage. "How dare you…" she growls at Caesar, sounding every bit like a wolf mutt. "That was private!..."
There are sounds of a scuffle from backstage, and I have a feeling Haymitch Abernathy was trying to fight his way on before his turn so he could punch Flickerman in the nose. As for Caesar himself, he is giggling as though Katniss did nothing more than tell a really naughty joke.
"And that's not all, folks! You see, when tributes arrive in the Capitol, they undergo a full health scan. And when we looked at Miss Everdeen's…. Excuse me, I mean…"
"Mellark," Katniss gets out through gritted teeth. "My name is Katniss Everdeen Mellark." Hearing my name, the name she took as my wife, makes my heart swell with pride, and I could give a damn that everyone in the district, my entire family, is staring at me again.
"…. Mrs. Mellark's test results, we found something very interesting. Two somethings, actually!"
A grainy image is now projected. I've talked with Prim often enough to know: it looks like an ultrasound. There are two little gray lumps, each barely the size of a grape. The reaction shot from Katniss shows her with a hand to her mouth, tears in her eyes. She is stunned, and deeply terrified.
But it's nothing to the horror I feel:
She is pregnant. My pregnant wife is going into a fight to the death.
Capitolites in the audience are giving agonized cries. I don't know if a pregnant tribute has ever entered the arena before, and that the Capitol audience is feeling so awful is only the barest comfort.
I break down, moaning and wailing. "No….. NO!"
The rest of my family converges on me, except for Mom, who is still shaking with rage that I married someone below my station without her permission. Delly is talking to a Peacekeeper on duty, and we must be granted an exemption due to emotional strain for I am suddenly being almost carried back to the Bakery. We end up missing Haymitch Abernathy's interview entirely.
The thought of the old drunk makes me take pause. If my wife now has a ring on her finger, did she tell Effie about our wedding? Did she tell Haymitch? Even if she didn't, both her escort and her mentor know now. They know of the whole sordid affair.
Someone (I think it's Bannock) splashes cold water on my face. Injera wipes my face down with a towel. Leaning in close, my niece whispers:
"I've always been hoping you would get married and we could have another aunt. She sounds like a nice lady." I touch her cheek in thanks.
Leven orders everyone to bed. Mom looks like she wants to start an argument with me, and Dad has to nearly drag her away to their bedroom. I can hear shouting from all the way up the stairs.
I'm finally left alone with Madge, who takes my hands in hers.
"Are you all ri….?" She starts to ask, then stops, thinking better of it. "No, of course you're not." Wringing her hands, she looks at me. "I know how you feel."
"Do you?" I laugh bitterly. "About forbidden love?"
"Yes, actually! I never told you of the boyfriend I had before Leven and I got together, did I?"
Curiosity piqued, I study her. "Who was he?"
Madge snorts bitterly. "There's the operative term. Who was he." A pause and then…. "Gale Hawthorne."
My blue eyes bulge. "Katniss's old hunting companion? Her district partner in the 74th Games?"
Madge nods. "We snuck around under my daddy's nose for over a year. Gale made it clear he wanted to ask me to marry him soon as his last Reaping was over. But then he got picked….." Her voice hitches. "And he died placing third. I was distraught after. Leven picked me up, and I eventually told him why I was grieving. He understood, and, well, you know the rest."
I lay a gentle hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry."
She nods. "I hope Katniss wins. I wish you both…. every happiness." And kissing me on the cheek, she ascends the stairs.