AN: This is the second chapter posted today. If you didn't read the previous chapter. Please, read it first.
Chpt. 29 APOV
"You little slut!" he screams at me as I walk through the front door.
"Huh? What?" I stutter.
"I saw you walk home with that boy…don't think I didn't see you at the corner" he screams.
"He was just walking me home" I said quietly. We weren't holding hands or anything, he was just a boy from school who happens to live a few blocks away.
"He wanted you…I could tell" he screams.
"I didn't do anything" I cry.
"This time…but next time I bet you let him fuck you" He screams throwing me against the wall causing the pictures to fall again.
"No! It's not like that" I sob as he kicks me repeatedly in the chest.
He pulls me up by the hair and stands me in front of him, looking me up and down. The way he is looking at me is creeping me out.
"You're really growing up…I can see why he would want to fuck you" he licks his lips.
"Please let me go…nothing happened" I cry.
"Nothing happened this time…what about next time?" he raises his voice again.
"No! Please I won't let him-" I scream.
He throws me against the kitchen table, holding my back down so my chest is over the table. My body immediately tenses knowing what's coming. The belt comes down hard on my butt before I even have a moment to register that he took it off or grabbed it from somewhere.
"Owwwwwwwwww!" I scream as the second hit comes harder.
"Shut up you slut! This will remind you to never get closer to a boy again. No one is to touch you…understood?" He screams hitting me hard again.
"Yes…please I won't talk to him…Ow!" I cry as he continues beating me hard with the belt.
I don't know how long the beating lasts…it feels like hours but I'm sure it's only minutes. My back, butt and thighs all feel like they are on fire. I'm sure that he drew blood again….he hit me too many times in the same spots for there not to be blood.
"Your ass is going to be beautiful tonight…nice and red" he says hitting me one final time; this time harder than the others landing the belt buckle square on my back.
"OooooooooooooWWWWWWWWWWWW!" I scream in agony.
End Flashback.
"Ana! Ana!" I can barely hear someone calling my name as I try desperately to open my eyes.
"Ana! ANA! Open your eyes!" The voice is louder.
I finally manage to open my eyes slightly and see Christian leaning over me, his hand gently grasping my uninjured arm. I look around the room and see that I'm still in the hospital, thankfully Christian seems to be the only witness to my nightmare. I'm immediately embarrassed and ashamed at what he just saw…I don't know if he has ever witnessed one of my nightmares before. God, I wish I could remember…everything is so fuzzy.
"Are you okay?" He whispers.
"Yeah….I think so…." I answer.
"Excuse me, is everything okay?" a nurse enters the room.
"Yes it's fine" Christian answers.
"Her heart rate is spiking, I'm going to see if the doctor prescribed a sedative" The nurse says turning around.
"No, please….I'm fine" I plea; all the medications they have me on make me so groggy.
"If it's not down in the next hour or rises again I will have to administer the sedative" she says walking out of the room.
"Are you sure you don't want something to help you sleep? It seemed to have helped you the other night" Christian asks.
"I had a nightmare the other night?" I ask.
"Yes" he sighs. "It looked like you were starting to have one and we were afraid that you were going to injure yourself more. Once the sedative kicked in you slept peacefully again."
"I'd rather not" I say. "All the medication they are giving me has me feeling very groggy, my mind is so fuzzy."
"Do you want to try to sleep some more?" he asks.
"No, I don't think I can" I sigh disappointed seeing that it's barely after three in the morning.
"Okay….just try to take a nap later today so you can rest" he says.
"I don't want to keep you up, I'm sure you're exhausted" I reply.
"No, it's okay" he stretches in the chair.
"Have you gone home at all?" I wonder.
"No" he answers.
"You don't have to sit with me" I say, giving him the opportunity to leave.
"I wouldn't be anywhere else Ana" he smiles gently at me.
"Can you tell me about the accident? You don't seem hurt" I ask.
"No we weren't together at the time. We were talking on the phone" he answers.
"I don't have a car right?" I ask, feeling stupid for not knowing if I own a car.
"No" he sighs. "You were walking home from work-"
"Campenila's right?" I ask.
"Yes, do you remember?" he looks hopeful.
"Not really…I mean I remember working there but…"I say.
"You are the part time assistant manager there and you had just finished working on Valentine's Day. You essentially ran both dinner services for the night and from the little we spoke it sounded like it went off very well. You had just walked out of the restaurant and were crossing the street when you were hit by a car" he explains.
"Oh" I wince.
"Luckily there were several people still outside the restaurant when the accident happened and they immediately called 911. A car in the other lane quickly stopped; the driver was an off duty fire fighter so he was able to administer basic first aid until the ambulance arrived" he says.
"Did they catch the person who hit me?" I ask.
"Not yet" he sighs heavily. "We are working on it around the clock though; I promise you we will find who did this to you and they will pay."
"Are you hungry at all?" Christian asks after a few minutes of silence.
"A little" I admit.
"I'm going to step out and see about getting us some breakfast. If you need me, hold down the one button on this phone and it will immediately ring me. I'm only going to be outside the door" he hands me an iphone.
"Who's phone is this?" I ask examining it.
"Yours" he answers. "Your other one was damaged from the accident so I had a new one delivered last night."
"You bought me a cell phone?" I ask surprised.
"Yes, it was one of my Christmas gifts to you" he smiles walking out.
I'm left sitting in the hospital room alone feeling stunned that he would buy me such an expensive gift. I also feel frustrated and sad that I cannot remember Christian or the relationship we had…or have? From the way he looks at me I can tell he obviously cares a great deal about me; he says he even loves me. I wonder if I felt the same way about him before the accident? Maybe I can ask Kate….surely if she is my best friend and roommate we would have talked about my relationship with Christian. While Christian is outside, a nurse comes in and checks my vitals confirming my heart rate has now returned to normal so she is not going to be giving me the prn medication. She encourages me to try to get some sleep saying my body needs rest; I agree but after a nightmare I always have difficulty falling back to sleep. I'm sure at some point later today the lack of sleep will catch up with me but for right now I'm wide awake. Suddenly I realize how ironic the memory loss truly is; I've lost the memories of what is likely the only person who truly loves me yet remember all the memories of the man who pretty much destroyed me.
"You okay Ana?" Christian squeezes my hand pulling me from my thoughts.
"Yeah, sorry" I sigh.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks gently.
"No" I answer.
"Okay, no pressure. But if you want to talk, I'm here" he encourages.
We talk for some time, learning more about each other; although I suspect it's mostly me learning about Christian. He is very patient and listens to me tell him about myself even though I'm sure he has already heard much of what I'm telling him. I learn some about Christian; he tells me how he started his business and describes some of the projects he is currently working on. His face lights up when he talks about his company; it's obvious his passion truly is his work. Christian tells me about his family – all of which I have apparently already met at least a couple of times. He reassures me that his family thought very highly of me even though I struggle with the thought of being good enough for someone like Christian.
Taylor arrives a short time later with a freshly cooked breakfast courtesy of Gail, Christian's housekeeper and personal chef. Gail has provided several items that the doctor has apparently given the okay for me to eat including jello, oatmeal, hot tea, pudding, a plain croissant and apple sauce. Taylor explains that Gail wasn't sure what I would feel like eating so she packed a few items from the list the doctor provided. He promises that lunch will be delivered in a few hours and that if I want anything specific I should let him or Christian know. The whole thought of having someone cook specifically for me is an odd feeling; Christian seem comfortable with it however as he immediately begins eating the omelet that Gail has cooked for him. Christian has said his company has made him very wealthy and having his own security and housekeep seems to indicate what he has said about himself is true.
"Good Morning, I'm Doctor Smith the orthopedic surgeon assigned to your case" an older doctor introduces himself as we finish our breakfast.
"It's nice to meet you" I shake his hand.
"Ms. Steele, I need to ask before we begin for your permission to discuss your case in front of Mr. Grey" he asks.
"Yes it's fine" I agree.
"I would like to take you for x rays in the next few minutes to check the status of your leg" he explains. "We know your lower leg is broken in two different places however we have been waiting for the swelling to decrease before we determine if surgery is necessary. It looks as if most of the swelling is gone so I would like to have a new x ray taken and we will decide our next course of action from that. Your arm was a more straight forward break and as you can see it has already been put in a cast to insure proper healing."
"Is there anything that needs to be done for her ribs?" Christian asks.
"No, essentially we are going to let those heal pretty much on their own unless the pain becomes unbearable. When she becomes more mobile we recommend wrapping them with an ace bandage but for now no further intervention is needed. Her ribs will likely take slightly longer to heal since they were broken previously and did not heal properly" he answers.
"Thank you doctor" Christian says.
"Are you in any pain?" Dr. Smith asks.
"Not really" Ana answers.
"If you need something for the pain be sure to ask the nurses. They have a variety of pain medications written as a prn for you so just let them know if you need something. The lowest dosage won't make you feel like a zombie; if you feel uncomfortable be sure to let someone know" Dr. Smith lectures.
"I will" I promise.
"A nurse will be in shortly to take you for x rays" Dr. Smith says leaving the room.
CPOV:
"Ana, we haven't discussed this yet" I take a deep breath. "But there is a security guard stationed outside your door at all times."
"Why?" Ana looks confused.
"There is evidence that the hit and run accident may not have necessarily been an accident" I sigh; I didn't want to discuss this with her yet but there is no option given that Sawyer will need to accompany her for x rays. "We are still trying to determine who it was and why they went after you, but for now I have posted security outside your door."
"Is it possible that it was…..him?" she asks barely above a whisper and immediately I know who she is referring to.
"We checked immediately and he is currently incarcerated" I reassure her.
"Okay" she lets out the breath she was holding. "So who would have done this?"
"We don't know" I admit. "I have several members of my team trying to figure that out right now. My office has not received any threats against me and no one in media seems to know about our relationship. We are trying to determine the motive behind the hit and run as well as who the driver was."
"I see" she says fearfully.
"Please don't be afraid" I squeeze her hand. "My security team is the best of the best and they will not let anyone get near you. I didn't want to tell you about this yet, but since they are taking you for x rays a member of my security team will be accompanying you. We have several security team members posted throughout the hospital and they are constantly insuring that no one gets near you. I know it's a lot to take in right now but just know that you are safe."
"Ms. Steele, we are ready to take you for the x rays" a nurse cuts our conversation short and begins disconnecting Ana from the monitors.
"You have been informed that her security will be accompanying her correct?" I ask.
"Yes Mr. Grey," The nurse confirms. "He will be able to accompany her to the outside of the x ray room and then from there back to the room. The only time he won't be by her side will be in the x ray room itself however there will be a window he can watch her through. No one is permitted in the room itself when the x ray is being taken."
"Understood, thank you" I reply.
"We should be back within an hour" The nurses says wheeling Ana's bed out of the room.
I walk out insuring that Sawyer is next to Ana before returning to the room spending some time responding to a few emails. There is no update on Ana's case yet from the police, Barney or Welsh yet and Ros seems to be handling everything at GEH. I decide to check in with Dr. Flynn to insure I'm handling everything appropriately. After a few minutes his assistant connects me to his desk and Dr. Flynn quickly answers the phone.
Flynn: Christian, how are you?
Christian: I'm struggling.
Flynn: Taylor has briefed me on what is going on with Ana, has there been any change?
Christian: I don't know if he told you she woke up yesterday…
Flynn: He did.
Christian: She doesn't remember me Flynn….nothing.
Flynn: What do her doctors say?
Christian: They say it's a short term memory loss from slight swelling in a particular area of her brain. They say her memory should return but it will be slowly and in the form of flashbacks as opposed to it all suddenly returning at once.
Flynn: That sounds promising.
Christian: The doctors are very positive (pause). I don't' know what do Flynn. She doesn't remember anything about our relationship, how we met, how we feel about each other or even that we have been intimate!
Flynn: What do her doctors recommend?
Christian: They suggested someone stay with her so we can help her process these flashbacks.
Flynn: Sounds like a good suggestion.
Christian: I feel like I need to do more! (pause) I can't stand the way she looks at me; it's as if I'm a total stranger to her!
Flynn: You pretty much are Christian.
Christian: What if she never remembers? What if she decides she doesn't want to be with me? What if she leaves me? What if I can't get her to fall in love with me again?
Flynn: Deep breaths Christian. (pause) It sounds as if you are assuming she will never remember you; however her doctors seem positive that she will regain her memories right?
Christian: Yes, but what if they are wrong? Or what if she remembers us but doesn't feel the same? What if she no longer loves me?
Flynn: Christian, you can't predict what she will feel when her memory does return however she fell in love with you once and you are still the same person you were a few months ago. Just be there for her, show her how much you love you.
Christian: You're right. (sigh) I just wish there was something else I could do; I feel like all I'm doing is sitting and talking with her.
Flynn: That's probably the most important thing you can do; help her remember, help her make sense of the flashbacks when they start coming.
Christian: How come she didn't forget the abuse? Why did she have to forget all the happy memories and remember the horrible abuse she suffered?
Flynn: Unfortunately those are long term memories which are stored in a separate area of the brain. I know it doesn't seem like it, but it would probably be much harder for her to reconcile the fact that someone abused her as badly as you say they did.
Christian: I suppose.
Flynn: When she feels up to it please let her know I would be willing to come to the hospital for an individual or joint session for her.
Christian: Thank you, I will.
Flynn: Call me anytime Christian, I know this isn't easy for you.
I hang up the call with Dr. Flynn and take a deep breath before I call Kate. I know Kate will want to see Ana right away but I don't want Ana to feel overwhelmed with too many visitors or feel pressured to remember things she can't which is why I have delayed the call until now.
"Christian? Is Ana okay?" Kate answers the phone.
"She's fine Kate" I reassure. "She woke up last night."
"WHAT? Last night? Why didn't you call me?" she screams.
"Calm down Kate" I instruct. "Ana has lost much of her short term memory; she doesn't know who I am, she didn't know she was living with you and doesn't remember the accident."
"Does she remember me?" Kate whispers.
"She thought you had classes together" I answer. "She remembers spending nights at you apartment but doesn't remember moving in."
"What do the doctors say? Will her memory return?" she asks.
"Yes, they are hopeful that it will return as the swelling in her brain decreases. They said that it likely won't come back all at once but instead will come back in flashes or images" I explain.
"I'm in classes most of today, but I will stop by this evening" Kate says.
"Sure, just text or call me before you come incase she is sleeping. She had a nightmare and has been awake since around three" I reply.
"Okay, will do. Please call me if anything else changes Christian" Kate hangs up.
After following up on a few emails, the nurse wheels a sleeping Ana back into the bed and quietly reconnects her to the monitor. The nurse explains that Ana fell asleep just after the x ray was taken but that they were able to get the image they need. She expects the doctor to have read it within the next few hours and we should then know if surgery will be needed. Ana looks so peaceful; I can only hope that at least for now the nightmares stay at bay so her body can get the much needed rest to help her recover. I put Ana's new iphone next to her hand on the bed before I exit the room; I need to touch base with her nurses to determine what she can eat for lunch and check in with Taylor.
"Sir?" Sawyer immediately greets me from his post outside Ana's door.
"I'm going to speak with Ana's nurses and will then make a couple phone calls. Ana has her iphone on her bed and knows to how to reach me but please keep an ear out if she starts waking up. Get me immediately if she starts crying or screaming" I instruct.
"Yes sir" Sawyer confirms.
I briefly speak with Ana's nurses who confirm that Ana is able to eat solid food as long as her stomach will tolerate it. She is to have mostly bland foods initially but if she tolerates it will by tomorrow she should be able to resume a normal diet. They encourage me to have her ask for pain medication when needed as they think she is not admitting to the amount of pain she is likely in given the amount of broken bones she has. They explain that her lowest dosage of pain medicine that her doctor prescribed is essentially the same as taking three pills of Advil. I agree to discuss this with her when she wakes; I am not happy that she might be hiding her pain. If she is truly hiding it she is doing a very good job because I only see her grimace when she tries to adjust her position or breaths in too deeply.
"Taylor, any update?" I say as Taylor greets me in the hall.
"I just got off the phone with the police chief, they updated the APB with the information we provided but as of right now they have not received any hits. He continues to have several detectives working on the cases, speaking with the eye witnesses again and reviewing the footage" Taylor answers.
"Anything from Welsh? Barney?" I ask in frustration that more progress has not yet been made.
"No sir" Taylor answers clearly disappointed.
"Taylor, I don't know when Ana will be discharged but once she is I want to bring her to Escala for her recovery. Can you please arrange for the guest bedroom on the main floor to be transformed into a room for her? I want soothing colors on the wall, a large comfortable bed – not a hospital bed, bright pictures on the wall, a small bookcase, a desk and some of her clothes brought down for her. See that the bathroom is fully stocked with all of her toiletries as well" I instruct.
"Yes sir, I will see that it is arranged" Taylor says.
"Thank you" I sigh in relief. "I don't know how long it will be until she can move up and down the stairs so I want everything she could possibly need at her fingertips."
"Yes sir" Taylor replies.
"Additionally, can you please have Gail send over some lunch? The doctor has cleared her for bland solid food all day today and then if her stomach can handle it she can resume a normal diet tomorrow" I instruct.
"I will have Gail pack something for her and will bring it over shortly" Taylor disconnects.
I haven't spoken to Ana yet about what will happen when she is discharged from here, but there is no way she can go back to the apartment with Kate. For starters there are too many stairs just to get into her building which isn't safe even once Ana is on crutches. Almost as important, until we know who did this to Ana she is not safe and Kate's apartment has no security beyond a locked front door. At Escala I can control who visits, who has access to Ana and insure that she is safe; that would be impossible at Kate's apartment. As much as I would love to have Ana in my bedroom, I know right now that would not be the best thing for her. Aside from the stairs, I don't think Ana would feel comfortable until she regains some of her memories. If she did want me to sleep with, I could easily share the guest room with her until she could safely manage the stairs to move into my bedroom.
I return to Ana's room to find her still sound asleep which pleases me greatly. I take out my laptop and begin working on a few reports that I promised Ros I would try to have ready for her by the end of the week. Ros is preparing to go to New York for a meeting with the company I initially declined to take over but apparently they have an offer they would like us to consider. I would prefer to go to New York myself and hear the proposal but there is no way I will even consider leaving Ana. I am confident in Ros' ability to discuss and analyze the proposal so my report will just summarize some of the key areas I had concerns about last time I met with them.
"Hey" Ana says waking.
"Did you sleep well?" I ask closing my laptop.
"I did" she laughs. "I can't believe I fell asleep while they were taking me back from x ray though."
"I'm sure you're not the first patient to do that" I reassure her.
"Probably not" she giggles.
"I've missed the sound of you giggling" I sigh.
"Taylor will be bringing by lunch soon" I inform her after several minutes of silence. "Kate would like to stop by this evening if you are feeling up to it."
"That should be fine" she says.
"Good Afternoon Ms. Steele, I will be your nurse for the remainder of the day" A nurse interrupts us.
"Nice to meet you" Ana says.
"Have you eaten lunch yet?" the nurse asks.
"Not yet, I just woke up" Ana admits.
"I can have something brought up for you" the nurse says.
"That's not necessarily, I have arranged lunch already" I interject.
"Okay, I will note it in her chart" she replies. "When you have finished with your lunch please ring for me and I will arrange for a sponge bath."
"No!" Ana exclaims.
"I assure you no one is particularly comfortable with it, but we are very professional and will try our best to make sure you are not uncomfortable" The nurse says.
Ana's eyes immediately find mine and I see the fear in her eyes instantly. She is afraid they are going to see her scars and will have to touch her back. I know I need to do something…
"If you see that everything is brought to the room I will see to Ana's sponge bath" I volunteer.
"Sir, I…that's not typical protocol" the nurse stutters.
"I don't care about your protocol" I say sternly. "If you have a problem with this I suggest you take it up with your hospital administrator."
"Yes…sir….I…" The nurse stutters.
"Just bring me what is needed" I say dismissing her.
"Of course" she says shutting the door behind her.
"Ana, I'm sorry she upset you" I say.
"No, thank you for….well for helping. I didn't know what to do or to say" she looks away.
Just then Taylor arrives with a heated bag full of food for both Ana and myself as well as another overnight bag for me. Gail has prepared chicken and rice for both of us, however it is obvious that my dish has more seasoning and sauce on it than Ana's which has more of a broth coating it. Ana however doesn't complain and immediately begins eating her lunch; her appetite seems to have come back in full force which I'm thankful for.
"If you need to go to work, I understand" Ana says as we finish our lunches.
"No, it's fine. Why do you ask?" I ask.
"I saw you were working on your computer earlier and I felt bad, I'm sure you are falling behind in your work" she answers guiltily.
"Nonsense" I say firmly. "Don't ever feel bad for me being here. I worked hard to build the company I have today; I have many strong employees in key positions who can take over when something important like this comes up. Everything can be rescheduled to someone else or until a later time; I just need to tie up a few reports this week which is what I was working on when you were sleeping. You are my key priority now, not work."
"Have I been to your office?" Ana asks after several moments of silence.
"Not yet," I answer.
"Oh" she looks confused.
"Why? I ask.
"I thought….well I saw something…it looked like an office" she says still confused.
"Like a memory? What did you see?" I say hopeful.
"A large room, with white walls…a large dark brown desk that you are sitting behind in a very large chair. There are bookshelves with large hard covered books on it…and a leather couch….papers are everywhere" she describes.
"Ah" I realize what she is remembering. "That is my home office, you have been in there several times."
"That must be it" she says.
"Do you remember anything else?" I ask.
"No, it was just sort of a flash of a picture that came out of no where" she says sadly.
"Excuse me for interrupting" the nurse from earlier walks into the room.
"Here is everything you will need for her sponge bath; I have made a notation in her chart so future shifts are aware of the change in protocol. We recommend you use warm water, but not too hot as it could irritate some of the scratches on her body. I will disconnect the machine, just be sure to reconnect it when you are finished. If you cannot reconnect, please call me and I will take care of it. There's several towels here and a warm blanket to keep her body covered, I would also recommend you turn the heat up so she does not get cold. Do not get her arm cast wet, and for her leg you only need to take care of the area to her knee. Try not to move her leg much-" The nurse explains.
"I'm sure we can manage, thank you" I say dismissing her as she gives me step by step instructions.
"I don't think I like her very much" Ana says quietly as she closes the door.
"She's not very pleasant" I agree. "I will see that after today she is not assigned to your case.
"Christian, that's not necessary" she sighs.
"Of course it is" I say. "Now about this sponge bath…."