A/N: I kind of wanted to give a little more of a role to the Totally Not the Doll, Honest employment agency clerk in one of these post-game stories, so…here we are!

~X X X~

Balyn swallowed nervously as he approached the clerk's desk at the Yharnam Employment Agency.

There was no "Welcome back," forthcoming from the tall, pale young woman who handled the assignments. No cheery greeting or slightly exasperated politeness today. No, there was only The Stare.

It was a look he knew all too well. Something out of a dream, or perhaps a nightmare. And she held the look, frozen as perfectly as if her face had been sculpted in cold, painted porcelain by the hands of a master—and slightly manic—craftsman.

Wondering where that particular comparison had come from, he swallowed nervously, screwed his courage to the sticking place, and stepped up in front of her.

"Mr. Balyn."

"Yes?" he squeaked.

Some people would say that men who have faced down Great Ones in hand-to-hand combat should not squeak in the face of a clerk. Those people were obviously idiots.

"We have had a complaint about your last job transporting beast-repelling incense to Oedon Chapel."

"Wait a second. I got that job done on time, the full incense urn delivered intact."

She tapped a finger on the page in front of her.

"And I believe that you took a shortcut through the Central Yharnam aqueducts?"

"It was the fastest way to get there. Have you seen what traffic is like on the Great Bridge these days? Even though they have it open now, the thing's always backed up almost right to the other end. I think traffic actually moved faster when there were scourge beasts all over the thing."

She continued to stare at him with the remorseless, relentless glare of a woman who knows when she's being fed a line of babble to distract her from the point at hand. It will be noted that she did not become distracted. She merely continued to stare. Balyn got the impression that she would have raised a single questioning eyebrow at him had she not considered it beneath her dignity.

He was a bit of an expert at reading the facial expressions of women whose face didn't actually change expression.

"All right, I was running late because I accidentally burned breakfast and had to make a fresh omelet from scratch before I left for work. But I was careful! I swear, I didn't let any of the incense get wet even when I was rolling through the water, and I kept the wick dry, too. Those things will sputter all night even if you dry them out, so I was careful. I mean, okay, yeah, I did get a smudge of algae on the urn, but you can't tell me that the Chapel Dweller complained about that. Honestly, I can't believe that he'd complain at all!"

"Of course he didn't!" She drew herself up sharply, almost sounding offended. "The Oedon Chapel Dweller had nothing but kind things to say about the service he received, just as he always does even when that service is…subpar." She pursed her lips; apparently the idea of someone taking advantage of the Chapel Dweller was enough to make her physically change expression.

"Then what are we talking about?" Balyn protested.

"He wasn't the one who filed the complaint."

She lifted the sheet of paper—actually a sepia-toned parchment that Balyn had to admit was very atmospheric—and extended it to him. Balyn took the page and glanced it over.

"The Yharnam Animal Rights League?"

"Apparently they are very concerned about the dwindling population of swine within the Yharnam city limits. With the recent incidents in Yahar'gul, a large number of the animals have lost their lives and habitat."

"Not to mention a large number of people."

"That would be a matter for the Yharnam Kidnap Victims Rights League to address."

"Fair enough. But I didn't even kill that pig! It tried to run me over and fell down a hole when I dodged out of the way, and even if I'd stood there and let it trample me the same thing would have happened. Those hogs don't slow down when they come at you full-boar!"