"I can't see them anymore."
Historia mumbled, tone almost lifeless as she wiggled her naked feet. Bouncing each toe up and down the barren grass field she sat in. Dress tucked under her comfortably as the sterile meadow stayed empty. Not a single person or flora in sight, just a vacant void complimented by the darkening sky as she watched the sun begin to set. Disappearing behind the clouds of steam that had manifested its way back to Paradise, where it all started, and belonged. "I wonder how far they made it. Mikasa and them." Historia said, crossing her legs as she peaked over to the bundle laying down in her arms. Emerald grey eyes staring back at her with such ignorance that it almost brought tears to her eyes. The eyes watched her, not a single expression on her little face but Historia could tell that the baby was curious. Historia let out a smile, extending her index finger towards the child making the baby's eyes light up with innocence. Small chubby hands tired to grip themselves around her finger giving Historia a much needed distraction.
"I guess it's a good thing that I can't see them anymore. I wouldn't want you to see any of that. And I'm sure you don't want to either, right?" She asked the child, more rhetorically since she knew she wouldn't get a coherent response. The child puckered her lips together, blowing a loud raspberry making Historia giggle as she hugged her close, hand melding with her soft blonde hair.
"I'll take that as a yes then." Laughing, Historia looked towards the horizon once more. Any trace of happiness that had bubbled up inside of her just now boiled away, replacing it with painful condensation that stuck to her skin like sweat. The child looked at her again, tiny lips pursing into a thin like as she mimicked Historia. Looking towards the skyline with her hand stretched out, fingers distancing themselves slowly until the remaining rays of sunlight shone in between her fingers, accentuating her leafy, silver eyes.
Historia, looking at her daughter now, was reminded of a certain brown haired male who's own hand had reached out similar to hers. Hand forever forward pressing towards freedom, desperately gripping onto a broken truth that looked like it would break at any moment. She wasn't entirely sure when things had changed for her. Maybe it was when she was crowned Queen, maybe even before that when Ymir left her all alone all those years ago.
Or was it when Eren kissed her hand 4 years ago. Was it the way he looked at her that changed things? A mixture of astonishment, respect and love that scent her heart fluttering in a way that she had never felt before. She really didn't understand it then, wasn't really sure if she still did even after they had made love. Resulting in the birth of their own child that had been born into this world, a new and peaceful world.
No, she was certain that she understood the love that they shared. The bond that they had was stronger than anything they had ever felt before. Stronger than her own confused feelings about Ymir, and Eren's distant own to Mikasa and Armin. His love for her was something that she couldn't understand no matter how much time had passed.
Idly, looking back towards the horizon she recalled a time when she herself felt some kind of pull towards the brunette Titan shifter. It was during one of the early trips the Hizuru used to do to the island, after finding out that Mikasa was in fact royalty to their people. Historia made a small joke back then about Mikasa's Hizuru tattoo, trying to tease her on why she had only ever shown it to Eren and no one else. The joke was a cheap one, and even now she could find some humor and understanding on why Mikasa blushed as heavily as she did back then. But nothing prepared her for Eren's eyes as she joked with Mikasa. His eyes never left her since they entered the room together, following her every movement with such a warm expression that her own cheeks felt like they had turned to lava. It was the reason why Histora chose to tease Mikasa about the tattoo. It was a choice to remind herself that he already had someone special in his life, that there was no room left for her in his heart.
Yet he asked if she was having fun, and truthfully back then she was. And the smile he gave her then, she swore she had never seen him look that way towards another person before. Not for Mikasa, not for Armin. It was like it was reserved for her, and her alone.
He stuck up for her in the meeting that followed that revelation, making her own feelings, personal and professional ones yearn for the brunette in a way that had surprised her greatly. Yet it was not an unwelcome feeling.
Historia laughed again, finding it horribly ironic that she had made him wait years for her to open up about her own feelings. To now sit in silence with their daughter, in a lonely field waiting for him for the first time.
And wait she will.
No matter how long, no matter when she promised that she would wait for him. She would wait 2000 years for him if she knew that he was going to come back to her. To let her once again hold his sinful body in her guilty arms just as he had done for her on several occasions. His hands stained with the blood of millions, calloused with innocent lives that will forever live deep in his skin. Burning into his veins until it molded with his heart while he finally became the devil the world saw him as.
A supplication of his ambition she reasoned with herself.
But she could not blame him for carrying around such a selfish dream on his back. Walking with the weight of the world's future in the palm of his hands like some sort of God, or Devil. His goal didn't do much for her when he talked about it with her before. She was shocked of course, concerned for the boy she yearned for as he talked so easily about slaying billions of people. Like it was something so simple. In retrospect she should have known that it was never easy for Eren to come to a conclusion like this. He always talked a big game, let his anger get the better of him no matter the situation. His heart was always on his sleeve and it was easy to tell what he was thinking or feeling with just a simple glance. Well it had been like that before, until he closed himself off to the rest of the world, except to her.
She questioned him about that before. Genuinely curious on how he came to trust and love her more than Mikasa and Armin. His answer was simple, so simple in fact that it was a friendly reminder on how she managed to fall in love with him in the first place.
"It was easy to talk to you, and it was so much easier to like you. You were just so normal, even after you became Queen."
The confession led them both down a path they probably weren't expecting, looking towards her daughter who was their byproduct of that night. Or several times that night but she didn't need to dive into specifics.
Her palm reached out, sliding up her daughters still extended arm until her larger hand laid atop smaller ones. Fingers entwining as the digits closed down into tight fists. Blocking their remaining view on the sun causing the earth to darken around them, basking both mother and daughter in its residual glimmer.
"This must have been the freedom you talked about Eren." Historia said, a pained smile on her face. Recalling the words her lover would say whenever he talked about the future he envisioned. Even their daughter's face was stuck on the endless horizon in front of her. Unable to take her eyes off the world that now felt so empty, so barren of life that they could explore for years and find no new signs of human life.
"Look, Ymir, this is the freedom Eren had promised you."
"BahhBahh!"
Blinking, Historia was about to question the strange sound Ymir made when she started to bounce in her arms. She made the sound again, wiggling herself free from Historia's arms until she plopped onto the grass beneath her. The Queen reacted instantly, reaching out to make sure Ymir didn't hurt herself as she voiced her displeasure.
Historia didn't get very far in her repermanding as she felt her entire body shake violently. She froze, her hands grazing her daughters side as she brought Ymir close to her chest once more. Not bothering to try and calm down the excitable child as she shook in place. The Queen's face fell as she stared forward in disbelief, not knowing when her heart skipped a beat or her breathing stopped momentarily. She didn't know when exactly she saw it, or how Ymir had noticed before she had when a towering monolithic titan appeared in her line of sight.
It was the colossal Titan. No, there wasn't just one colossal Titan anymore. There were hundreds, thousands who were currently scorching the earth under their feet for the sake of Paradis. She watched as the Devil drew near. Each step it took felt like a mini earthquake and Historia subconsciously got to her feet to avoid falling over. She could see the steam slowly siphoning through the colossal's muscles and she felt herself shiver at the sight. Still not used to the size of such a creature.
The scent of burnt grass invaded her nostrils making her scrunch her nose at the unpleasant smell. Pushing back her unease she waited patiently, feeling a mixture of nervousness and confusion as the Titan made its way closer to her. Even from their distance closing in on one another she found no danger soliciting from the Devil. In fact even the way it walked towards her felt natural, relaxed in nature like it was coming back to see an old friend. Or a lover.
The thought caused Historia to sober up considerably. Her heart beating faster in her chest as she took a few hesitant steps forward. Until Historia and the tian stood quite a good distance away. The steam all but vanished from his body as it stood at its impressive height, its mouth stuck in its perpetual grimful expression as it stared down at her. It's expression void of any semblance of comprehension, looking utterly lifeless as it's grey pupils stared down at her with its head tilted down.
Ymir voiced her excitement again, hand reaching out trying to get closer to the Titan but Historia held her back.
The colossal turned to its side, bringing its large legs up as it took a seat directly next to Historia conjuring a small gust making the queens shawl flutter in the wind as Ymir giggled at the display. Historia stood rooted in place, glancing at the faint Titan who now sat with its legs to its chest next to her. It must have been one of the titans that lived inside their walls for the past few years. Subjected to a life imprisonment with their humanity stripped from them since their creation.
Before Historia could open her mouth the say anything an uncomfortable tear ripped itself through the open field, causing Historia to cringe at the sound as she looked at the seated Titan next to her. She watched in small disgust as the muscle around its mouth started to tear. Flesh stretching across its jawline until it's teeth finally spread themselves apart, parting its jaw until the tissue broke apart with a sickening shred as blood pooled down its chin before painting the grass red beneath them.
"He'll be back."
Historia took in a sharp intake of breath, eyes now wide as she looked at the Titan as it spoke to her. It's mouth remained open, refusing to heal it's broken tissue as it looked down at the Queen. It's eyes moving between her and Ymir before it reached out towards the younger girl. Extend its index finger until it was directly in front of the child. Ymir giggled as her chubby hands tried to grab hold of the giant finger. Just like she has done moments ago.
"What?" She questioned the Devil, not even finding it remotely frightening as it's dark eyes moved back over to her.
"The founder. He'll come back."
Turning away from the Devil she looked back towards the sunset. Wondering if the red hue the sky now looked was because of the sun setting or the blood that no doubt stained the ocean red. But she couldn't deny that whichever reason it may be, it was a beautiful view.
"How can you be so sure?" She asked, trying to mask the desperate need to know the truth.
"The founder…he already killed several of the people he called his friends."
That struck a chord inside of Historia, her eyes turning vacant as she allowed her child to dangle off the titans finger. "Who—who died?" She whispered.
"The ones you call Connie, Jean, Hange, Reiner and Armin."
"Armin huh…" she mumbled, still finding it a little hard to believe. But not for the reason many would believe. "How is he? How's Eren?"
"I do not know. He won't share his feelings with us. He only told us to come and tell you that he will return. The founder said that was a promise."
A promise. If it's a promise from her beloved then she could take that and hold onto it for as long as she needed to. Until he came back whenever that may be. She may be a patient woman, but at the end of the day she was the same old selfish Historia who stood by the devils side. Despite the news about her old comrade getting killed she smiled, a small real smile.
"The founder, he wanted to know if." The Titan paused for a moment, and despite the situation Historia found it quite humorous to see a Titan at a loss for words. "If you think what he's doing is wrong."
Historia didn't even have to think twice about her response. It has been solidified in her mind for years now about how she truly felt about the rumbling.
"Of course I think it's wrong. So many innocent lives are being lost at this very moment and there is nothing we can do about it. Only a Devil could want; could do something like this." She paused, a smile spreading across her face as she looked the colossal Titan in the eye. Unwavering in her resolve as the puppet queen laughed, the sound lacking any real humor as she noted the titans genuine surprise on his skinless face. Even she could feel her heart freezing over at her words. Understanding easy to read on her face, not even scared at how her emotions lacked any real sense of loyalty to anyone other than her new family.
"But that would make me an even worse kind of Devil, since I forgave him."
As she sat with the Titan she finally felt the freedom that Eren had been talking about. The wind pushing through the trees felt much more peaceful than it did a few days ago. The grass felt softer, the moon that had risen felt bigger. More beautiful as it closed the door on humanity's darkest day. Even Ymir seemed to notice the difference herself. Now seated atop the titans finger, small hands pressing down on the bare flesh as she looked towards the breathtaking view. Staring at the scenery that the scouts had fought for all those years ago. And continue to do so even now. On instinct she saluted to the scouts who lost their lives in search of this freedom. To friends she had lost along the way, to the ones who were currently losing theirs at this very moment. They dedicated their hearts to this cause and will see it through till the very end. The cold realization of the price of their freedom was a bitter feeling and it wasn't something she was certain that she could get over. But she had time. The three if they had all the time in the world.
"To us in the present, that's what we can look forward to now."