Unconditionally and Irrevocably

Chapter 13: Edward

"Edward!"

The words are forced through my dry lips as I am violently awakened from my nightmare. I lay there in my sweat-soaked sheets, staring at the ceiling and struggling to catch my breath while I try to push the images from my mind.

Unable to, I screwed my eyes shut and took deep, controlled breaths to calm my rapidly beating heart. I was so focused on calming down that I failed to notice the energy shift at first, merely thinking the rising hair on my arms was due to my night terror. It wasn't until a shadow passed across my wall that I realized I wasn't alone.

I stiffened and held my breath as I listened, straining to hear anything that would clue me in on who was in the room with me. But, I couldn't hear anything that would clue me in on who was in the room. No breathing, no creak of the floorboards beneath shoed feet.

"Edward?" I whispered, swallowing heavily when there was no response. Not him then. Never have I felt so disappointed that someone didn't respect my boundaries.

I slid my hand under my pillow, feeling for my wand. I wrapped my fingers around the smooth hilt and counted to three in my head. One… Two… Three...

"Impedimenta!" I jumped up and flung the spell at the intruder, squinting in the darkness to make out the figure frozen before me.

"Lumos!" The light brought the room into sharp contrast. "Rosalie‽"

The blonde stood before me, growling while she struggled against the restraints of the spell.

"Bella, are you all right?" Charlie called from downstairs. He must have fallen asleep watching television in the living room again.

I struggled to get my footing on my mattress as I turned awkwardly towards the door to call out, "Ju-just fine, Dad! I got to a shocking part in the book I'm reading!" I could hear him muttering to himself and grimaced. That will probably be a lecture in the morning about staying up too late reading. Charlie is under the firm belief that if you aren't out of bed before nine in the morning your entire day is wasted.

I waited with bated breath while Charlie slowly made his way up the creaking stairs and to his bedroom. Once the telltale click! of his door closing sounded, I turned towards Rosalie, frowning as I watched her continue to struggle with the spell.

"Finite Incantatem."

She stretched her arms and legs, staring down at her fingers as she flexed them. I gave her a moment to self-assess before clearing my throat.

"What the hell are you doing in my room while I'm sleeping‽ Do I have to give your entire family a lecture about stalking people?" I hissed, keeping my voice controlled and low so that Charlie wouldn't hear.

"We need to talk about Edward."

I breathed heavily through my nose and moved to sit cross-legged at the edge of my bed with my wand in my lap. "Care for a seat?" I motion towards my desk chair.

"No, thank you," Rosalie replied primly, flipping her hair over her shoulder after she assured herself that everything was still in working order with her body.

I stared at her for a minute before clearing my throat. "So Edward, is he okay?"

"You need to stay away from him."

I narrowed my eyes at her, "I don't think that is any of your business."

"Edward is my family. He is my business."

"May I ask what brought this on?" I rubbed my forehead, feeling a migraine coming on. I had two options: continue what would be an endless stupid cycle of an argument, or try to understand where she was coming from. While an argument could wind up being amusing, I honestly just wanted to get to the bottom of whatever was bothering her and go back to sleep.

"You being near him is putting all of us in danger. Your proximity means we will always have eyes on us because you are the Chief of Police's daughter. We don't need that."

I raised an eyebrow. I wasn't buying what she was selling. "While I don't doubt that is one of the many reasons you have for me not to date Edward, what happened today to make you approach me and not just sit afar and glower as you have been?"

"You broke my brother." She accused, arms folding across her chest while she glared angrily at me. "He came back from your date soaked in seawater and shaking with anxiety! Esme spent the better part of the evening in his room with him picking barnacles from his ears and hair while he sobbed into her arms. He hasn't said a word since he got home. We have no idea what happened. Alice didn't see much until he jumped into the water, we have absolutely no context! All I know for sure is that you have something to do with it, and you better stay away from him."

I worried my lip between my teeth and fiddled with my wand, unable to look her in the eye. "A dementor attacked us in the meadow, and something about the dementor counteracted Edward's powers. Understandably, he was a bit upset, but he seemed okay when he left me."

"Well, he wasn't." She scoffed. "Edward is an excellent actor, to where sometimes he can even believe the lies, but deep down, he an extremely sensitive and insecure person. So please do everyone a favor and stay away from him before you do any more permanent damage."

"I understand your concern, but it isn't your choice. I will talk to Edward about your concerns, and we will go from there, but I am not breaking up with him just because you told me to."

Rosalie narrowed her eyes, obviously not used to not getting her way. "I'll destroy you."

I raised an eyebrow, "You are free to try. I'm not intimidated by you. As I have stated, I will talk to Edward about your concerns, but ultimately the decision lies with him. Now kindly leave so that I may go back to sleep."

Closing my eyes, I throw myself back and lay against my pillow. I pointedly ignore her growl while pulling my blanket up to my shoulders. Then, I wait her out, watching her through the shadows that walk across my wall.

Rosalie gives one last angry hiss before jumping out my bedroom window. I lay there quietly for a few more minutes, making sure she had left before turning to lay on my back and reach for the phone on my night table.

Hey, just checking in. Rosalie just left. She's quite worried about you. Text me when you have a chance. — Bella

~o0o~

I didn't hear from him at all on Sunday, despite multiple texts checking in on him. I was about to get into my car and drive to the Cullen mansion when I received a text from Alice asking me to give him some time. I respected her wishes and spent all of Sunday working on essays and projects that would be due in the upcoming weeks, trying to keep my mind off him.

Having not heard from him since our date on Saturday, I was shocked to see the silver Volvo parked outside my house Monday morning.

Edward was distant. He was still as sweet as ever— opened doors for me, offered me his coat, but his head was obviously somewhere else.

His speech was brief, and his expressions were unreadable. What little small talk I made, he would hmm in response to, it is evident that his thoughts were elsewhere. He didn't even show up for lunch, and I forced myself to sit with Angela and the others, not feeling like having Alice pat my arm and constantly telling me 'everything will be okay, just give him time' as she had been the entire morning.

However, that may have been preferable to the topic of conversation that engrossed the group. Prom, that was all they were willing to speak of now that the date was clearly in sight. I gave my own hmms and one-worded answers to their conversation, not wanting to talk about Prom on the best of days and certainly not today.

After what seemed like millennia, I was in my chair next to Edward in Biology. I leaned my chin on my fist and observed him for half the period. He was an outright mess. "Edward… Edward!" I hissed, slapping his arm lightly.

"Hmm?"

"What's wrong?"

Edward looked over at me, and my heart clenched. I had never seen him with that look before— exhaustion and utter helplessness rolled into one. However, while he looked one poke away from breaking, the words leaving his mouth in the same steady tone he usually spoke in. "Nothing, Bella. I'm fine. Just a lot on my mind."

"I'm here if you need to talk." I wouldn't push him, I couldn't, especially not in the middle of Biology. Besides, if he weren't yet ready to share what was bothering him, all my pushing would do is upset him further.

The rest of the day passed painstakingly slow, and I found myself counting the minutes remaining in each period before the bell rang. My day only got better when I left the gym and was greeted by the blinding light of the sun.

I pulled my phone from my pocket and opened up the text Alice sent.

We had to go. Angela will be able to drive you home! xoxo Alice

I sighed heavily and slipped my phone into my back pocket before scanning the area, searching for my tall friend. It took a bit, but I finally caught sight of her crossing the parking lot with Ben.

"Angela! Ben!" I called, jogging to catch up with them.

They both stopped, smiling when they caught sight of me and waved. "Bella!"

I skid to a stop in front of Angela and Ben and clumsily dropped my bag to the ground. I could feel their bemused stares as I kneeled, leaning my elbows on my knees, struggling to catch my breath. Angela handed me her water bottle, and I took a sip smiling at her gratefully. "Thanks." I swallowed deeply before looking up at her somewhat helplessly. "May I bother you for a ride? Edward and his family had to leave early today, and he was my ride."

Angela's smile brightened, and she nodded, "Of course! I would love to drive you!"

"I'll leave you guys to it," Ben said, leaning down to press a kiss on Angela's cheek before waving bye to me and heading for his car on the other side of the lot.

I waved back and followed Angela to her car. Opening the passenger side, I threw my bag in the backseat and sat down heavily, closing the door a bit harsher than was polite.

Angela frowned, eyeing me from her peripheral as she turned on the car. "What's wrong, Bella?"

I fidgeted uncomfortably in my seat, tugging at my seatbelt. I couldn't look her in the eye and instead studied a rip in my jeans, pulling at the loose threads. "It's nothing."

"I don't wish to pry. Of course, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." She paused, pulling out of her parking spot. "You just look like you could use someone to confide in."

I nodded and sighed heavily but didn't say anything. Where could I even begin? There was only so much I could even tell her.

"Is it Edward?" Angela asked gently, pulling into line behind the cars waiting to leave the lot.

I felt tears well up in my eyes, and I had to swallow hard against the tightening in my throat, "Yeah. I… I'm just really worried about him." It's all my fault. I broke Edward.

Angela nodded in understanding, "He looked depressed today. I'd never seen him like that before."

She stopped at a red light and eyed me. "Did something happen between you two?"

I bit my lip. Angela is so perceptive. I decided that I would fill her in— omitting a few key details. She nodded in the right places, hummed in sympathy.

"I just… what would you do if… if you were in my position."

Angela sighed heavily, pulling into my driveway and turning the car off. "Give him time. What happened Saturday likely triggered some very real insecurities in him, maybe even ones he wasn't aware of, and if he is battling depression on top of that…'' she drifted off for a minute and gave me a small smile. "Well, depression just makes it worse, does it not? He has these feelings of insecurity, and then he has his mind bullying him on top of that. Likely telling him that he isn't good enough and God only knows what else— that's a lot to handle and… please don't take this the wrong way." She pleaded. "He seems emotionally repressed."

I snorted and nodded, laughing weakly. "Yeah, no kidding."

"He'll probably go to his therapist— that's something all rich kids have, right? and will be back to his normal self in no time."

"What if he doesn't— go back to himself, I mean?" I asked weakly.

"You just have to be there for him," Angela responded with an apologetic smile and a small shrug. "There isn't much else anyone can do."

I talked with Angela for a few more minutes before waving her off with the excuse of homework and dinner.

Angela had a lot of good insight, but there was one thing she got wrong. There was something I could do. All I had to do was erase Edward's memory of my magic.

o0o

My cellphone buzzed on the desk pulling me from my thoughts. I blinked at it, confused as to who would be messaging me so late.

May I come over?

Edward. My heart thudded in my chest as I typed out a quick sure! before placing the phone back on the desk and going back to contemplating what I would do.

If today taught me anything, it was that Edward wasn't nearly as invincible as he believed. That my world was a serious danger to him.

There was a gentle knocking on my window. I rolled my shoulders and jumped from my seat, walking a couple of steps from my desk and pushing it open.

I leaned against the windowsill and smiled at the still form on the tree branch in front of me. "Evening, Edward," I whispered, not wanting to wake Charlie, whose window was less than twenty feet from mine.

"Alice told me you were awake," Edward said softly in greeting, his tone matching mine. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I nodded with a sigh. "I'm confused, but I'm okay." I studied his face for a moment, "How about you? Rosalie said..." I let the end of the sentence hang between us. "Dementors can really mess with your head." I finished lamely.

He didn't answer me, merely stared at me in an inscrutable way.

Feeling a little awkward, I cleared my throat and stood back from the window. "Do you need to be invited in or…?" I motioned towards the middle of my room.

He smiled forcefully and gracefully leaped through the window, falling soundlessly to the floor. "I don't, but I didn't want to invade your privacy."

I closed the blinds — the last thing I needed was some nosy neighbor to tell Charlie that I had a boy in my bedroom. I studied him in the fluorescent light of my room, pursing my lips. He was as gorgeous as ever, but his features were all wrong like he was trying to seem okay, but simply wasn't. It was a feeling I knew well.

"Edward," I said softly, reaching over to press a hand to his arm. He flinched away, and I brought my hand to my side. "Why don't you sit down?" I motioned to my bed, and he went immediately, sitting on the edge and leaning his elbows on his knees.

I pulled up my chair from my desk and sat a respectable distance away from him, studying him. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know," he admitted, his voice pained. "I've never been the happiest person, but I can't seem to shake this depression looming over me. It's darker than usual. I feel restless. I can't play the piano or read, and I don't even want to run or go hunting, which I usually love to do. And I've been crying, well, as close to crying as I can get." His face scrunched and looked like he was struggling to hold back crying at that very moment.

"I tried shaking it by going underwater. It's peaceful there. There is no scent of blood, no ones' mind is plaguing me with thoughts and worries, no one whispering behind my back. It's just complete silence. Or… it used to be." he shook his head. "I was under there, but all I was plagued with was the memory of the dementor. It just kept replaying over and over again. I couldn't escape it." His voice hitched, and the tone was nearing hysteria.

He was even expressing behaviors of anxiety, ones I was all too familiar with having spent so much time at Curran. His leg jigging, hands wringing in his lap, eyes bouncing from one area to another, never focusing on just one place.

"Jasper can't seem to get a handle on it either— he was going to leave for a bit to get away from me, but I told him I would come to visit you when Alice said you were awake."

"You were likely very deeply affected because Dementors work on extracting good memories and leaving nothing but bad recollections. You haven't told me much, but I would assume even with your family, you have some grimmer memories than many others would. It could explain why you passed out, my magic shouldn't have been enough on its own to do that."

I felt helpless, watching the mere shadow of the Edward I knew sitting in front of me. I really had broken him, destroyed him. Taken a once amazing man and turned him into a shell, a terrified, pathetic shell of his former self.

"What was it even doing there?" He was desperate for answers. Something, anything, that would help him better process what he had gone through.

I shrugged my shoulders helplessly. "Someone must have sent it, but I don't think it was MACUSA. The ones that are under their control have a bright red bracelet on their wrists. I didn't see that when the dementor was…." I trailed off, shivering at the memory of the dementor hovering over Edward, its bony hands wrapped tightly around his wrists.

"Then that begs the question: Who sent it and why?"

Edward somehow looked even more vulnerable as the words left his mouth and I knew I had to do it now. I wanted him to know I was a witch, but at the cost of him losing himself completely was not worth the risk. I rather he did not know at all. I leaned over and hugged him tightly, closing my eyes as I felt him stiffen then relax into my embrace. He wrapped his arms around my waist and hid his face in my neck. He was shaking, choking back sobs as they struggled to leave his throat. Tears welled up in my eyes and I pressed my face to the top of his head, rocking him as he clenched my shirt in his shaky hands.

"Memoria Fal—''

Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter.

Keep it classy, make good choices, and I hope to see you soon.
Chandlure