CW: depictions of torture, grief, death.
"SIRIUS! SIRIUS!"
"Harry, there's nothing you can do-"
"We've got to get through, we've got to save him!"
"Harry, he's gone. There's nothing…he's gone."
As soon as Sirius disappeared through the veil, the only sounds around us were Harry's cries and Bellatrix's triumphant scream. All I could do was watch Remus hold Harry in his arms, trying to calm the crying boy while he himself bit back tears. After all, he had just lost the love of his life.
Suddenly, a cry of pain pierced the air. I whipped around to see Kingsley hitting the ground, writhing. A few feet ahead, Bellatrix was running up the steps of the chamber, headed straight for the door. Even from below, I could see the devilish smile etched across her face. Dumbledore cast a spell at her, but she deflected it and continued running.
Before anyone else could make a move, Harry flung himself from Remus's grasp and took off toward the steps, following Bellatrix as quickly as he could.
"HARRY, NO!" Remus called, attempting to run after him.
"SHE KILLED HIM!" Harry screamed bitterly, tears streaming down his face. "SHE KILLED HIM- I'LL KILL HER!"
Remus and Harry's remaining conscious friends yelled after him, but he kept running, focused completely on one thing and one thing alone.
Sirius was gone.
He was dead.
My aunt killed him.
He'd never get that house in the country. He would never know peace and safety. We would never be a family. He was gone forever. I never even said 'I love you' or even 'thank you' to him.
"CASS!" Dan yelled, shaking my arm violently and bringing me out of my scrambled thoughts. "WE'VE GOT TO GO!"
I looked him at him blankly, unsure of what he was asking me to do. Without asking any questions or even giving it much thought, I took off running toward the door, determined to catch up with Harry and, if we were lucky, Bellatrix.
I ran as fast as my feet would carry me, Dan following close behind. We ran up the steps and toward the elevator, which took us back to the first floor and atrium. As soon as the lift stopped, I could see Harry running ahead of us, tailing Bellatrix toward the Fountain of Magical Brethren. I could see her turning around to cast a curse at him, but it volleyed off the gates of another lift, the sound like dissonant bells, and her cackle immediately following.
"What did you come after me for, Potter?" she taunted. "Coming to avenge my dear cousin!"
"I AM!" Harry bellowed, his voice echoing through the atrium and bouncing off the walls. Dan and I kept running toward him, wands drawn. Bellatrix cast another curse at him and he darted behind the fountain to hide. She cackled again, the high-pitched maniacal sound making my stomach churn and my blood boil.
"Did you love him, little baby Potter?" my aunt taunted again.
Suddenly, Harry darted out from behind the found, rage in his eyes like I'd never seen before. I was terrified of what he was about to do, probably because he was terrified too. His grief and rage completely outweighed logic and reason, as it always does.
"CRUCIO!" he screamed, red light spluttering from the tip of his wand.
The curse knocked Bellatrix off her feet, but she didn't cry out in pain the way she made me cry. In a flash, she was on her feet, breathless and waiting for Harry to strike again. She cast another curse, but Harry dodged it, the light hitting the fountain and blasting off the head of the handsome stone wizard. Dan and I kept running, trying to reach Harry before any more damage could be done.
"Never used an Unforgivable Curse before, have you?" she yelled. "You need to mean them, Potter! You need to really want to cause pain —righteous anger won't hurt me for long — I'll show you how it is done, shall I? I'll give you a lesson —"
Before she could cast the curse on Harry, her eyes landed on Dan and I. Her dark irises darted between him and I, clearly putting two and two together. Of all the people in the world I didn't want to know about Dan and I, she was at the top of the list.
"I'll demonstrate on my niece here!" she jeered. "And you, boy – you must be the Mudblood who turned her head! Daniel, isn't it?"
Dan attempted to cast a curse at her, but she deflected it, sending another one right back at us. I attempted to cast a Shield Charm to protect us, but it only stretched far enough to barely block the curse. My aunt cackled again when she noticed Dan's dirty, sweat-soaked, terrified face.
"Look at you – you're as dirty on the outside as you are inside, boy!"
Without thinking, I threw my arm forward, sending a jet of light straight at her face.
"DON'T YOU DARE!" I screamed, but to no avail. Bellatrix deflected the curse, sending more red light toward me, the white-hot needles dragging me down again. There was nothing except her laughter, my screams, and Dan's arm around me as he attempted to shield me and curse her with his wand in the other hand.
"You see, Potter? You cannot win against me!" she yelled, laughing as I writhed on the ground. "I am the Dark Lord's most loyal servant! I learned the Dark Arts from him, and I know spells that you, little boy, can never hope to compete with-"
"STUPEFY!" I heard Harry yell. He had darted out from behind the fountain once more, his eyes landing on me in terror when he realized what was happening. She cast another curse, but I felt Dan lift his arm and shield us just in time.
Suddenly, I heard an animalistic growl that turned into a bloodcurdling scream coming from my aunt's mouth. I fumbled for my wand and attempted to cast another Shield Charm, but my body and mind weren't strong enough. Another jet of red light came flying from her wand and his Daniel in the chest, his eyes squeezing shut and his head hitting the ground as he screamed and cried in pain. Once again, she laughed.
"How dare you! You filthy Mudblood – how dare you try and defeat me!" she shrieked amid Dan's cries. I tried to crawl, to stand, to move at all, but my aunt was faster, cursing me once more. Harry began yelling again and she became distracted, completely forgetting that she'd left Dan and I both screaming and writhing in pain on the ground.
Amid my seizing, my neck snapped to the right and saw Dan howling in pain, his fingers twitching as he tried to grasp his wand. I tried with all my might to block out the white-hot pain that coursed through my entire body and fumbled for his hand, squeezing it with whatever strength I had left in me. I couldn't let her get both of us.
I'm so sorry, Dan, I tried to say. The pain began to subside, but not enough for me to get up and keep fighting. I was too beaten, too broken, that I couldn't do a thing.
As I faded in and out of consciousness, a face swam into my mind's eye. A brown-eyed, red-headed, freckled face, a sky full of stars that made me want to keep going, but the pain was just too much.
The screaming – mine, Dan's, Harry's, Bellatrix's - eventually became deafening, and I blacked out on the cool floor of the Ministry of Magic, unsure if I would ever wake up from this kind of torture, a fate almost worse than death.
"Cassie? Here, don't sit up. Medi-witch's orders."
My eyes fluttered open slowly, then squeezed shut after being nearly blinded by the sterile, white lights of St. Mungo's. I opened my eyes again slowly to see Remus sitting at my bedside, holding my hand gingerly.
"So, I guess I made it," I whispered. "Wasn't looking too good for a minute there."
"Yes, well, it wasn't looking good for any of you," he said, gesturing to the beds on either side of me. I gulped slowly, taking in my surroundings. To my right, Tonks was sleeping peacefully under the covers of her bed, her hair the color of the sunflowers on the bedside table. To my left, Dan was sitting up in bed, smiling slightly at me.
"Dan! Are you-"
"Don't get overexcited," Remus warned. He reached into his cloak pocket and pulled out a chocolate bar – dark chocolate with mint. "Eat this. You'll feel better."
I obliged, studying Remus's face as he handed me the candy. The bags under his eyes were more prominent than usual, and his eyes were red and bloodshot from crying. He looked exhausted and in shock, and I knew there was nothing I could do to help him.
"Remus, I'm so sorry," I whispered. "I wish there was more to say."
His gaze softened and he bowed his head to conceal his teary eyes from view. After he took a few labored breaths, he looked up at me once more, then took me hand again.
"He was an impulsive git, right to the end," he said. "Knew damn well what he was doing. But Sirius wouldn't be Sirius if he stayed home while we all went out and saved the day."
I nodded, unsure of what to say. He was probably still in shock but was resigned enough to the fact that he'd just lost his partner, someone he'd known and loved since they were teenagers. I couldn't even imagine what he was feeling right now.
"Remus…what happened?" I asked. "Who found us? Is everyone else alright?"
He took a shaky breath and began to recount.
"Dumbledore dueled You-Know-Who. Fudge arrived just as he was escaping – now Fudge knows that he's back and he can't deny it any longer. I found you and Dan with Harry and Dumbledore, who helped me bring you two and Tonks back here. Kingsley and Alastor are fine and Harry is back at Hogwarts. All of us – with the obvious exception – are accounted for."
I nodded. "What about Bel-what about her?"
He shook his head fervently.
"She escaped. Took the Floo and disappeared. No idea where she is now."
I gulped again, preparing myself for my next question.
"And my dad? What about him?"
He sighed, then turned to my bedside table to hand me today's Prophet. I took it gingerly and began to read the story splashed above the fold.
HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED RETURNS
In a brief statement Friday night, Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge confirmed that He-Who-Must-Not-Be Named has returned to this country and is active once more.
"It is with great regret that I must confirm that the wizard styling himself Lord — well, you know who I mean — is alive and among us again," said Fudge, looking tired and flustered as he addressed reporters. "It is with almost equal regret that we report the mass revolt of the dementors of Azkaban, who have shown themselves averse to continuing in the Ministry's employ. We believe that the dementors are currently taking direction from Lord — Thingy.
"We urge the magical population to remain vigilant. The Ministry is currently publishing guides to elementary home and personal defense that will be delivered free to all Wizarding homes within the coming month."
The Minister's statement was met with dismay and alarm from the Wizarding community, which as recently as last Wednesday was receiving Ministry assurances that there was "no truth whatsoever in these persistent rumors that You-Know-Who is operating amongst us once more."
Details of the events that led to the Ministry turnaround are still hazy, though it is believed that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and a select band of followers (known as Death Eaters) gained entry to the Ministry of Magic itself on Thursday evening. Among them were Bellatrix Lestrange, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's most senior Death Eater and Lucius Malfoy, former Ministry employee and Hogwarts governor.
Lestrange escaped via the Floo Network and her whereabouts remain unknown. Malfoy has been given a lifetime sentence in Azkaban for his involvement with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, which he will began serving Monday. Neither Malfoy's wife Narcissa, nor his estranged daughter Cassiopeia or son Draco, could be reached for comment.
I was speechless. Despite everything that had happened, everything I'd been through over the last day and a half, something good came from it. My father was finally in prison where he belonged. After everything, he was locked away and couldn't do anyone any more harm than he already had. It wasn't justice and it wasn't accountability, but it was containment. My father couldn't be reformed, but he could be kept far away from us as humanly possible, and that was enough. For now.
"Now that you know, I'll be going," Remus finally said. "I need to meet with Albus back at headquarters."
"Remus, what happened?" I blurted out. "How-how did they know? About where to go, that we'd be there?"
He smiled sadly, then stood up to go, pulling his cloak over his shoulders. He sighed, as if he didn't want to tell me.
"Once you're home, we'll talk. For now, eat that chocolate and rest. I'll send in the medi-witch who's been attending to you," he said. He squeezed my hand one final time, then headed toward the door, beckoning down the hall to someone. He turned around one last time, smiled, and disappeared.
Suddenly, the door flew back open, and Mrs. Weasley came rushing into the room.
"I came as soon as I heard and insisted that I be the one to attend to you three," Mrs. Weasley said matter-of-factly, sitting down next to me and wrapping me up in the warmest hug. I buried my face in her shoulder while she stroked my hair, soothing me and examining me at the exact same time.
"You still smell like burnt hair and flesh," she said, pressing her hand to my forehead. "It's going to take some time for the scent to go away. You're probably still going to experience some physical side effects of the damage, headaches, tremors, sweating, chills. Mentally, you'll probably still have some spots in your memory for a bit. Can you remember anything about last night?"
I shook my head. "I remember getting to the Ministry, I remember searching the Department of Mysteries, and I remember Sirius dying. I remember running out of the Death Chamber…and I don't remember much else after that."
"You'll probably find that you won't know what you don't remember until you don't remember it. I know that doesn't make much sense, I'm sorry for that, dear. For now, all you can do is rest. I'll be keeping an eye on you and Mr. Light here for the remainder of your time in hospital."
"Thank you, Mrs. Weasley," I said weakly. "That means the world to me. Is Fred-"
"I told Freddie as soon as I could. He tried to follow me here Friday night, almost broke down the doors of the ward, but I sent him straight home. He doesn't need to see you like this, and you need your rest, love. Once you're released, I'm sure he'll be waiting outside headquarters with flowers and chocolate-"
"And Ogden's Old, I reckon," I muttered.
Mrs. Weasley smirked and finished examining me. Before she walked away, I had to ask if she knew, and tell her if she didn't.
"Did you happen to see the Prophet today? My dad…he's gone to Azkaban. Thought you'd want to know."
Mrs. Weasley stiffened, and I watched her intently, trying to gauge her reaction. She nodded, slowly, her head held high and her copper curls bouncing in front of her cheekbones and forehead.
"I did," she said coolly. "And I must admit, it's the only good thing to come out of this ordeal. Well, that and you being alive and safe and sound. I don't know what we would've done if you weren't, dear."
I gulped and nodded again, trying to hold back tears. Suddenly, I saw black spots coming into my field of vision and my head felt heavy, too heavy. I leaned back on my pillow and covered my eyes, my fingers digging into the top of my head as I tried to balance out the pressure I was now feeling up there. I suddenly felt the white-hot needles piercing my head again, and while I knew it was all in my mind, it didn't make it go away any faster.
Mrs. Weasley leaned forward and gripped my shoulders, holding onto me tight with one hand and thrusting a potion into my hand with another.
"Take this, dear, it'll help. I promise," she soothed. I took it gingerly and held it as close to my lips as possible, drinking as much as I could without vomiting. After a minute or so, my head felt lighter, and the pain was gone. When I opened my eyes, I saw Dan was watching me intently, and Tonks was still fast asleep.
"I hate to tell you this, dear, but you're probably going to experience that a few more times while you're in here," Mrs. Weasley said simply. "And when you do, take this, as much of it as you can stomach. It'll make the feeling subside."
I nodded and watched as she placed a few vials of a teal liquid on the bedside table. It was a potion I didn't recognize, but immediately felt thankful for its existence. After another hug, Mrs. Weasley scurried over to the next bed to help Dan out.
"How long have I been out?" a voice said sleepily beside me. I turned to see Tonks stretching in her bed and sitting up. "Cass, Dan, glad to see you're both alive and well."
"Alive? Yes. Well? Not so much, Tonks," Dan called from his bed. "Cass, you doing alright?"
I shrugged. I was more worried about him than me but telling him that would only make him worry about me, which I didn't want him doing.
"Well, Dan, you've met my dad, my aunt – who's also Tonks's aunt – and my uncle, who's not really my uncle because my aunt never liked him. Bet you're glad you didn't end up marrying me," I joked feebly.
He rolled his eyes and stretched his hand out over to my bed, which I grasped as firmly as I could.
"I'm just glad you're alright, Cass," he said. "You too, Tonks. Your family really are batshit, though, aren't they?"
Tonks and I exchanged looks and laughed out loud, trying not to hurt ourselves in the process. I leaned back in bed and smiled sleepily at Dan, who appeared to be in better spirits than I was, even in his current condition.
"Told you your morbid curiosity would become life and death someday," I chided. "You're lucky she didn't kill you. We all are."
"Yes, well, once she finds out I survived, it'll make her want to kill me all the more," he said simply. "I never want to hear that half-growl, half-scream sound she made before she cursed me. I'm going to have nightmares about it forever, I swear."
Before either of us could crack another joke, the doors flew open and Annamaria Dickensen came striding in, her Healer-in-Training uniform pristine and her brown hair in a long braid down her back. When Dan saw her enter the ward, it was like the whole world had gotten warmer and the sun was shining a little brighter. Even now, his happiness was visible and contagious.
"How are you all?" she asked warily. "As soon as I heard we had some Unforgivable Curse victims on the ward, I came rushing up to try and help. They sent me away when I found out it was you, Dan."
"That's alright, love," he said, squeezing her hand lightly. "Cass's boyfriend's mum's been taking great care of us."
Her eyes widened and landed on me. I waved weakly at her; I hadn't seen or spoken to Annamaria since mine and Fred's disastrous first date in the Three Broomsticks. That was a lifetime ago.
"So I heard. She's brilliant, so I have no doubt you're all in good hands," she with a small smile. "I'll let you get your rest. Just wanted to check in."
"Thanks, darling. Come back later if you're not too busy, would you?"
She nodded, then headed back toward the doors and left us alone. The three of us exchanged looks once more, feeling too weak to move but too restless to lay in bed for the foreseeable future. I tried to open my mouth to tell Dan and Tonks about my dad going to prison, but I saw the black spots again and instead of pressure in my head, I grew incredibly hot.
I grabbed a vial of teal potion from the table and downed it in one gulp, and the overheating subsided. I leaned back on my pillow and closed my eyes, wondering when and if the pain would ever stop. I hadn't even had time to process Sirius's death and my renewed grief over the loss of him.
He once told me that our grief changes, but never leaves. That was true; when he met me, I was grieving one person. Now, my grief had merely shifted from that person to the next, the same hollow, empty feeling, the anger and the guilt, consumed me at the mere thought of Sirius's smile, his laugh, and his dreams: when all this is over, we'll be a proper family.
We were the runaway black sheep of our family – the same family – but Sirius and I shared a sense of impulsivity, of reckless abandon that made us throw caution to the wind, and the painful inability to say three stupid little words. I don't think I ever heard him say them to Remus, but I knew he loved him. He never said them to me, or to Harry, but I knew he loved us. I think he did, anyway. I'll never know, though, and I'm not sure if that hurts more than not being able to say the words in the first place.
Before I could think too hard about anything I'd been through (or what I could remember of it), I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep, trying to focus on the memory of Fred's laughter and not the sound of my aunt's shrieking as she tortured me within an inch of my life.
I couldn't remember much about last night, but I'll never, ever forget that.
I was released from Mungo's at the end of the week.
Mrs. Weasley didn't want to let me go, but I insisted I was fine and that I wanted to go back at headquarters. She also told me Fred ran into Clo and Francis in Diagon Alley and told them in the vaguest terms possible that I had been in the hospital, but was being released today. He also accidentally let slip that my cousin – the cousin I'd been living with – had died.
When I returned to Grimmauld Place, having walked from the hospital to the train station and back home with Remus, I didn't feel relieved or excited to be back. A huge piece of the puzzle that was our little family was missing, and always would be. It didn't feel right going home and knowing I wouldn't see him sitting at the table pouring over the newspaper or descending the staircase in his Christmas jumper or an old Queen t-shirt.
"Right, do you want to go lie down more?" Remus asked, taking my bag from me, which was full of tapes and books that Fred dropped off.
I shook my head fervently.
"I want a cup of tea, with a drop of Ogden's in it, and I want you to tell me exactly what happened," I said quietly. "I'm tired of not remembering and not knowing. However bad it was, I can handle it."
Remus stopped and gazed at me sympathetically. I could tell he wanted to spare me the details, but my stone, cold glare told him to just be honest with me.
"Very well," he conceded. "Let's sit down, shall we?"
I nodded, then followed him all the way down the hall to the kitchen, where he promptly put the kettle on and handed me two teacups. I reached up into the potions cabinet to pull down a bottle of Ogden's Old and set it in the middle of the table. After the water boiled, Remus sat down across from me and poured tea slowly. I watched him as he did so, his hands trembling ever so slightly. It had been a week since the battle, and I could tell that he'd experienced the five stages of grief several times over in the last few days.
"Cassie," he began, holding his teacup gingerly. "You're probably not going to believe this, but it was…well, it was Kreacher who started this whole mess."
"Kreacher?" I asked, so bewildered I almost thought he was joking. "What did Kreacher have to do with any of this?"
He sighed, then continued, the pained look still in his eyes.
"Around Christmas, Sirius was in one of his usual…moods, so to speak, and shouted to Kreacher to get out," he said. "However, Kreacher took Sirius a bit too literally and left the house. He left Grimmauld Place."
"Alright," I said slowly. "Where did he go?"
Remus sighed again, and I could tell there was something he wasn't telling me or didn't want to tell me. He was trying to break something to me gently.
"He went to your parents' home, Cass. He went to your mother, specifically. Now, don't panic- "
"Don't panic?" I said, my voice low and venomous. "Remus, are you saying Kreacher sold Sirius out to my mother and father?"
"Yes…and no. You see, there's only so much information Kreacher can reveal to anyone at any time. Since he isn't Secret-Keeper, he can't reveal our location, so you're still safe. He can't disobey direct orders from his master, as is the rule for all house-elves. However, he did give them information that was…well, I'd reckon it was just as valuable as telling them exactly where you are."
I bowed my head and sat silently, my chest tightening with each word.
"He told them that Harry was the person Sirius came to care for most in the world. He told them of their close bond, a bond of a father and son or two brothers. This information led your parents, and Voldemort too, to understand that Harry would do almost anything in the world to rescue Sirius from danger. He also mentioned offhandedly that Sirius has developed a rather close relationship with you, and that he had slowly become the older brother and father figure you always dreamed of having."
That stung just as much as the white-hot needles, if not more.
"While you were at work, Harry used the Floo to contact Sirius at home. Kreacher, taking another opportunity to thwart things, told him that Sirius wasn't home, but he was. He was just upstairs, tending to an injured Buckbeak."
I could barely believe what I was hearing. Of all people, Kreacher sold Sirius out to my parents, two of the closest people to Voldemort in our world. I always had sympathy and compassion for house-elves (it was one of the things I bonded with Hermione over), but this…this was as unforgivable as the curse that nearly killed me.
"So, what happened next?" I asked flatly.
"Well, we all were in here, together, when Snape came rushing in and…well, we left for the Ministry. Harry was in some trouble up at Hogwarts and Hermione, quick thinker that she is, was trying to get them out of it. He was still insistent on going to the Ministry and rescuing Sirius from what he believed to be certain death."
I sat motionless for what felt like forever. My heart was pounding, my thoughts were racing, and it felt like the entire world was closing in on me. Kreacher sold Sirius out to my parents, put Harry in danger, and spoke of me in front of them. Perhaps that's what triggered Bellatrix's rage, why she took it out on Dan and me. Perhaps my father was planning on killing me that night the whole time, and that my presence in the Death Chamber hadn't been a surprise after all.
All I knew was another person was dead because of my family's treachery, and no matter how good and kind I tried to be, or how hard I fought for the right side of this war, I would never, ever escape it.
Suddenly, it felt like the room was caving in, black spots coming into my field of vision, starting small in the corners but taking up everything my eyes could see quickly and without warning. I put my head in my hands, trying to stop the pressure, but my body suddenly seized up again and I felt myself falling, the only sound being Remus trying to catch me and the din of a thousand tiny pieces shattering – whether it was the teacup or my own heart breaking, I'll never know - assaulting my senses until I couldn't see, hear, or feel a thing.
"Cassie? Up you go, that's it. You really should eat this; you will feel better."
My eyes opened slowly, and Remus was, once again, sitting at my bedside, shoving another chocolate bar into my hands. I was in my bedroom on the third floor, still in my black t-shirt and trousers under the emerald comforter. I propped myself up on my elbows and surveyed the room; nothing had changed, but Remus looked even more tired and grief-stricken than he did earlier, if that was even possible.
"You passed out again," he explained. "Molly mentioned you might do that a few times. I've put some of that teal potion into that cup there. I've also brought you that bottle of Ogden's you wanted earlier."
"Thanks," I said weakly, rubbing my eyes again to refocus. "Sorry about that."
"It's quite alright. I'll just be in our – well, I suppose it's only my room now. I've also brought you some medicine I think you'll rather enjoy."
I smiled sympathetically as he got up to go. When he opened the door, I saw that the medicine in question was of a red-haired, brown-eyed, freckled sort. A sort that made me want to get up, squeeze him tight, and never let him go.
He looked like he hadn't slept in a week, the bags under his bloodshot eyes more pronounced than ever. He crossed the threshold into the room and, upon seeing me, ran his hands through his hair nervously. His face was stone-cold, but the corners of his mouth were twitching and, even from my vantage point, I could tell his eyes were watering. He hadn't seen me since he found out I'd been attacked, and I didn't know how he was going to react.
"Leave it to you to come rushing to my sickbed, Weasley," I whispered playfully.
"Oh, for Godrick's sake," he muttered, lunging toward my bed and sweeping me up in a tight hug. His head rested in the crook of my neck, and I could feel him drawing shaky breaths as he cried quietly into my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and stroked his hair gently, trying to soothe him as best I could. In the almost two years Fred and I had been together, I had only seen him cry a handful of times, and each time had been more uncomfortable and heartbreaking than the last.
"It's alright," I whispered. "I'm alright. It's alright. Freddie, I'm really okay."
"Mum came and told me as soon as she found out," he said, his voice steadier now as he pulled away from me and sat up. "Said she was on her way to the hospital to try and treat you. I tried to follow her, but she sent me home the minute we got to the hospital. Almost broke down the doors to the ward, and I actually…I saw you for a second in there, you know. Cass, you were so…limp, like this rag doll Ginny used to have when she was little. And your face was blank, but your fists were all balled up, like you were still in pain. When I saw that, I…"
His voice trailed off and I reached up to gently push a hair from his forehead, the way I always did. He looked up and locked eyes with me, tears starting to spill back out of his.
"I honestly…I thought you were dead," he whispered.
"I probably would be dead if it weren't for Dan," I said. "He cast a shield charm around me just before my aunt cursed me again. If I'd been hit with any more curses than I was, you'd be at my funeral right now."
"I'll have to thank him someday, then," Fred mused. I giggled.
"That you will. I'd like to see you too getting along one day," I said.
"Are you sure all that medicine my mum gave you hasn't gone to your head, Malfoy?" he joked, wiggling his ginger brows at me the way he always did.
I closed my eyes and giggled, tugging at his arm to lay down next to me on the bed. He laid down slowly and put his arm around me gingerly. I snuggled up close to him, resting my chin on his shoulder lightly. Potions be damned; this was the best medicine in the world right now.
"Sirius is dead," I whispered. "My aunt killed him."
Fred turned to me and searched my face again, grief and sympathy mingling across his freckled cheeks.
"I…Cass, I'm so sorry," he said, bewildered at the news. "I know how much he meant to you, and to Harry and Remus. I wish there was more I could do."
"You're doing enough as it is, Weasley," I said. "More than you know."
He nodded, then leaned down to kiss the side of my nose. His lips lingered there for a moment, then traveled down to my lips, pressing a soft kiss there. Suddenly I felt like all the medicine I'd been given finally kicked in, and I'd gotten my strength back. I reached up to tuck some hair behind his ear as I kissed him back, leaning into his lips and his arms with as much strength as I could muster. He suddenly pulled back and smirked, now tucking a few blonde hairs back into my very messy braid.
"Save your strength," he whispered. "I promised Remus I'd let you rest."
I nodded, then leaned back down on his shoulder, draping my right arm lazily over his stomach. The quiet of the house, coupled with being so close to him, made everything feel alright for just a few minutes, Fred Weasley once more bringing me the peace I craved more than anything in the world.
"I guess this means we're at war now, doesn't it?" he finally asked.
I mulled the question over in my head for a moment or two, but I didn't know why. After all, the answer was obvious.
"Yeah," I whispered. "Yeah, I guess we are."
He nodded, not taking his eyes off the ceiling. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, and I wished I could.
"Whatever happens, I'll always come back for you," he said firmly, the words hanging in the air like the only promise he ever intended on keeping. "I'll always find you, and we'll get through it – whatever it is – together. Alright?"
I nodded. I needed something to believe in right now.
"I know, Freddie," I said. "I'll always come back for you, too. Come hell or high water, as the Muggles say. I'll always find you, and we'll always get through things together. I promise."
He nodded, kissed me once more on the forehead, and turned toward me, wrapping his arm around my waist and pressing his forehead to mine. Finally feeling somewhat safe for the first time in a week, I let myself relax, curled myself up against him as best I could, and fell peacefully asleep.