"And when I come out the next morning it's gone! vanished into thin air!" Effie proclaims, her storytelling skills almost convincing Remus that stealing a garden hose is just as bad as first-degree murder.
"Isn't it just atrocious Monty?" Effie comments to her husband while filling up her own glass of wine. Monty looks up from his paper and smiles at his wife "Um.. yes ? Wait what did you say, darling?"
"I said, isn't it just atrocious!"

"What's atrocious love?" Monty asks, his thick bushy eyebrows moving up and down on his forehead, reminding Remus of two thick caterpillars. "Oh, Monty, do keep up! the garden hose?" Effie says, turning to Lily and giving her a look that says men, am I right?
"Oh yes, quite atrocious dear" Monty sounds exactly how Remus feels as if the simple theft of the garden hose is nothing of note. The Potters mansion was as lovely as ever, with the elegant decorating of Effie paired with the overall poshness of the house, Remus felt rather out of place in his shabby cardigan and secondhand loafers.

The group was currently lounging in the Potters sitting room, with glasses of wine that cost more than Remus's rent.
"It's just so good to have my boys back! how long until you both leave me again?" Effie asks, finished tsking at her clearly uninterested husband. "Well, Ma I think we're stayin' till September, a summer holiday some may say," James said brightly, taking a swig of his wine.

Remus couldn't simply bear the look of pure delight on Mrs Potter's face, it was like someone had given her Christmas and her birthday wrapped into one, she immediately sprang from her seat, kissing both the boys cheeks joyfully, causing an almost luminescent blush to appear on James's face.
"Ma! stop that!" James swatted the woman away, side-eyeing Lily like he was hoping she hadn't noticed but Sirius simply kissed Effie back, grinning happily at the enthusiastic woman.

Lily was also clearly having a ball, soaking up James's embarrassment like the sun on a hot day. "Oi Effie! Where's my kisses?" Lily asked, wiggling her eyebrows, causing Effie and Sirius to burst out into peels of laughter, James however - looked like a toddler who had just got his toy taken away.
Remus also laughed, sneaking glances at Sirius who was simply barking with laughter. Remus was amazed at how he still managed to look beautiful while doing it.

After giving Lily two very dramatic kisses, Effie was back in her seat, giggling heartily. "Honestly you'll all be the death of me!"
"Wait until I'm at least in the family before you croak it?" Sirius added, winking cheekily. Everyone was now laughing (bar James, who was still in a huff.) with Fleamont even chuckling along.
"Oh, it's brilliant that I finally got you boys up in Scotland. Honestly, all that London air cannae be good for the soul!"
Remus nodded along but secretly envied the two, he had never visited London but had been dying to go one day.

"Plus the tap water here is simply to die for" Lily added, and a murmur of agreement fell from all but Sirius. "Never had Scottish tap water before actually.." Sirius admitted sheepishly, only to be met with audible gasps from Lily and Effie.
"Sirius! how could you!" Lily exclaimed, being around Effie certainly brought out her theatric side.

"Yes, how could you! no son of mine can't have tried Scottish tap water! Honestly, when we first moved here from Liverpool it was all I drank."
Remus felt dumb for not noticing the families accents before, it made sense now, they were all clearly scouse (James more-so than Effie and Monty, whose accents had now been infected with Scottish slang.)
"Wait... so when did you guys move to Godric Hollow?" Remus asked, still sheepish as he felt Sirius's eyes on him.

Effie smiled in his direction, clearly glad he was joining in. "Well, when Jamie went to Uni, we decided to retire here." Effie smiled fondly, and James nodded in agreement.
"So you're Scottish born and bred?" Sirius asked Remus, and Remus blinked slowly at the man, trying to nod his head and answer as a normal person would.

"Um, yeah, I didn't grow up here though I grew up in a town a few hours away, Me and Lily- Lily and I actually grew up together" Remus failed to contain his blush as he spoke, the smile on Sirius's face when Remus spoke sending his nerves racing.
"You two grew up together! that's amazing, so what are you two doing here?" Sirius asked, seemingly genuinely interested. =Remus looked at Lily, begging her with his eyes to answer, so she continued talking.

"Well, we both needed to get out of that town after uni, so we decided on a whim to move here and open our dream cafe bookshop," Lily answered, cool and confident.
"A café bookshop? That's adorable " Sirius smiled, gaze still not moved from Remus's face, and Remus felt himself practically glow under Sirius's praise.
"Rem's baking is nothing short of spectacular! His cakes and muffins are simply to die for!" Effie interjects, praising Remus further.
"I wouldn't say that , they're okay.." He replies bashfully, scratching the back of his neck nervously.

"Och don't sell yourself short Rem, your coffee is the best in the whole of Scotland!" Lily adds, and Effie and Fleamont murmur in agreement.
"Well then, I'll just have to come by sometime." Sirius smirks, and Remus gives him a small smile, "You don't have to-"
"What's the name of the café?" Sirius asks, interrupting the start of Remus's babble - directing the question to Lily, who was all too happy to answer.
"It's called the Lunar Café, just on the high street," Lily answers, smiling at the flushed Remus Lupin.

"Wait, Lunar like the moon?" Sirius asks, curiously - a smile still on his face. "Err yes?" Remus answers, unsure of why Sirius seemed so gleeful.
"Okay then Moon baker, I'll have to come and test your coffee for myself, see if these little bitches aren't having me on," Sirius says, sending Remus a smile, and Remus feels his insides melting.

"For the millionth time Lily, he was not flirting!" Remus sighed, throwing his keys into the dish next to the entrance to their flat. "Rem, he basically asked you on a date! Och and your face , what a peach! You were pink all evening" Lily laughed, kicking off her heels and walking into their living room.

"It was just the wine!" Remus defended, slightly offended by Lily's teasing.
"Wine my arse " Lily scoffed, jumping onto the sofa and picking up the remote, flicking through the channels. "Says you" Remus muttered, taking his place next to Lily on the sofa but making an effort to sit as far away from her as possible - choosing to resort to childish behaviour.

" Huh ? what did you just say?" she challenged, whipping her head around, giving Remus her best death glare.
"You're the one who's been flirting with Potter all day!" Remus cried, immediately seeing the rage bubble on the redhead's face. " Flirting? You call that flirting? I despise him!" Her full attention was now on Remus, and her face was only becoming more thunderous.

"Tell that to all the "oh Potter!" and " Let me put you in a headlock Potter! " You're totally flirting with him! In your own, weirdo way!" Remus argued as Lily looked ready to explode.
"Remus, have you lost it?! Have you been putting weed in your brownies or sommet?! you think that I was flirting? you're as nutty as Slughorn!"

Remus scoffed but huffed silently, crossing his arms childishly and turning away from Lily. He didn't want to let himself hope that Sirius was flirting. After all, he was just Remus. Bookie - weirdo Remus with the suspicious scars and the good coffee. He would never be able to capture the attention of someone as beautiful as Sirius.
He'd only ever had one boyfriend before, and look what that got him, a bunch of scars and a criminal record, no. He would not let this Sirius Black flirt with him. (Even though he was not flirting.)

"So, do you want to watch Gilmore Girls or Gossip Girl?" Lily finally spoke, obliterating any awkward tension left behind as she snuggled into the sofa and threw her feet onto Remus's lap. Remus sighed gratefully, relaxing and looking at Lily with a fond smile.
" Gilmore Girls, of course - how is that even a question?"

Remus had busied himself all day, attempted to do everything in his power not to think about Sirius Black. He felt pathetic, with his heartbeat going crazy whenever the bell went off.
Remus froze for a second in terror after hearing the bell to the shop jingle, but he breathed a breath of relief as he found out that it was just Marlene McKinnon standing at the door, wanting to return her copy of Little Women.

"Oh it's just you Mar" Remus breathed out in relief as he relaxed onto the counter.
"Just me aye? Who're you expecting Lupin?" Marlene smirked, her wavy blonde hair looking windswept but somehow still flawless.

"Well there's the regulars, but the Queen did message earlier saying she'd try to pop by for a scone and a cuppa." Remus grinned, taking the book from the counter to stamp and scan it.
"Did you like it then? The book? I bet money that Jo was your favourite" Remus continued - looking up at the girl who nodded excitedly, obviously aching to speak about the book.
"You bet she was! such a badass, and so obviously a lesbian. She's basically me but set in the 1800s" She winked, flicking her hair over her shoulder dramatically.

"Oh aye totally, Laurie and Jo were 100% platonic soulmates" Remus added, putting the book in his pile to reshelve later.
"Yes! they were great as mates, you just get it Lupin, this is why you're totally a Beth!"
"What? dead?" Remus smirked, laughing at his own joke.
"Yes Rem, dead" Marlene deadpanned, rolling her eyes. "I remember when Lily got in a fight with me when I said she was Meg, She insisted she was a Jo"

"Ooh, she's in denial, she's Meg all the way, maybe even a little bit of Amy..."
"Don't you dare tell her that or she'll go mental at ya" Remus grinned, being thankful to Marlene for being a good distraction.
"Did you hear about the Potter's hose?" Remus began, now actually enjoying telling the tall tale of the stolen hose.
"Who the fuck hasn't? you know I got stopped by a Margie in the Inn who was mapping out a whole timeline of events? A timeline Rem!" Marlene sighed, and Remus let out a chuckle.

"Do ya think it's a bad time for me to tell them that I'm actually missing my garden rake?"
"Shit, a hose and a rake ?! Missing? You know what that means Rem.." Marlene said, a dramatic hand on her chest.
"That someone needs to wash and rake their patio?"
"No, you imbecile ! it obviously means someone's growing cannabis!"

Remus rolled his eyes but chuckled along as he turned to make Marlene a cup of coffee, the old machine whirring and spluttering with its age. "Remus, you've got to get a new machine, that thing has been 'round since the stone age!"
"So has Slughorn, but we aren't getting rid of him are we?" Remus quipped, eager to defend his trusty machine. "Lily was telling me how you two went to the Potter's house for dinner last night..." Marlene started, leaning over the counter with playful eyes.

"Oh for fucks sake, whatever she's told you Mar, it's pish"
"She may have mentioned a certain annoying Potter bloke.." Remus almost sighed in relief, grateful to Lily for not mentioning the supposed " Sirius Black flirting" incident.
"...And he may have mentioned you completely shutting down when a hottie was flirting with you" Remus groaned, throwing his hands over his face.
"See Marlene?! That's all bollocks, cause he wasn't flirting!" he defended, sliding Marlene her coffee cup with a reluctant groan.

"Rem, it's been two years since Greyback-"
"Mar, please just leave it." he pleaded, thankful when Marlene nodded and stepped back, coffee in hand.
"Alright, but all I'm going to say is just don't assume the worst, I know what you're like '' Remus refused to look up, busying his hands with the till.

"That'll be 2 quid Mar" Remus croaked, making the girl sigh and hand over the money plus a hearty tip.
"Did Lily end up going 'round the Inn to collect those freebies?" Remus asked, not wanting their interaction to end on an awkward note.
"What do you think? Of course, she didn't, that lassie cannae walk the length of herself" Marlene scoffed and Remus nodded in agreement.
"But dinnae worry, I'll have Dorcas drop em later, otherwise Lily will never get them"

Remus nods, actually looking forward to seeing Dorcas, with all her wit and similar bookishness.
"How's it going between you two? Honeymoon stage over yet?" Remus asked, and Marlene sighed a soft, caring smile over the mention of her girlfriend.
"Babe, when your love is as good as mine and Dorkies, the whole relationship is the honeymoon stage" Remus offered the girl a smile, trying to be happy instead of bitter hatred he felt, always envious of people in love.
"That's a bit gay Mar" Remus smiled, after getting a swat on the arm from Marlene.

Marlene was about to offer a retort back when the shop door jingled. Remus secretly hoped that a tall, black-haired & motorbike riding man would step into the shop, instead he was met with the scowl of his short, redheaded best friend.
"Rem, Do you have any clue why when I woke up this morning there were about 60 feckin texts from Potter on my phone? How the hell did he get my number?" Lily almost roared, marching up to the counter and slamming a fist.

Remus leapt back, terrified of his friend's ginger rage. "Ooh... I don't know Lils..." Remus said, grinning down at the girl and backed up at Marlene, and Marlene let out a laugh as she looked from Lily back to Remus. "Good luck with that Rem!" she shouted as she quickly escaped the scene.
"Lupin. please don't tell me that you gave the cunt my number!" Still cowering, Remus slowly made his way to the machine, eager to calm his friend down with a cup of coffee.
"Now Lils, before I tell you, remember how much you love me..."
"LUPIN!"

Insisting that he wasn't watching the door and that he wasn't hoping that a certain man would come through it, Remus decided that hiding at the back of his shop to reorganize the shelves was the best course of action.

He cursed Lily - who had been in the shop for only half an hour or so - for going back to their flat, declaring that it was still too early to be working.
Just as Remus was about to declare war on his hardback copies of pride and prejudice , he heard the shop door jingle and the familiar, deep cockney voice that he had been waiting to hear all day.

"Remus?" the voice called out, causing Remus to immediately crouch behind a shelf out of sheer panic, he cursed himself for acting like such a fool.
"Moon-boy!" Sirius called, and Remus could hear his boots as he walked along the shop floor. Remus cringed internally as he heard his knees crack, his stupid joints betraying him.

"Remus?" he called, still thankfully towards the front of the shop. Who the hell hides behind a bookcase to avoid a crush? Remus thought, but he had no intention of moving.
"You know Moon-Slice, this really isn't smart, imagine if I was a thief... I hear there's a rampant hose thief on the loose" Sirius said teasingly, beginning to walk to the back of the shop. Remus couldn't help but chuckle at Sirius's remark - letting out an embarrassing snort to follow it.
"I knew it! I knew you were here! Unless books have learned how to snort."

He felt his cheeks heat up, feeling like a total idiot, he decided to accept his fate as the most awkward human alive as he attempted to stand. Attempted being the keyword, As when Remus went to grab for the bookshelf, he rocked forward on his feet, crashing into the shelf and tumbling himself and the bookshelf over.

"Holy shit! Are you okay?" a very panicked Sirius Black called, running over to the groaning, curled up Remus.
"Oh just grand " Remus moaned, still curled up on the pile of books and shelves.
"What in fucks name were you doing?" Sirius asked, holding out an arm to Remus and pulling him up.
"Um, playing hide and seek?" Remus chuckled, brushing himself down, completely mortified.
"Well, you're pretty bad at it" Sirius chuckled, a smooth dreamy chuckle that caused Remus to remember why he was in this mess, to begin with.

Finally meeting the man's eyes, Remus got a chance to look at him, with his long black locks now tied up in a bun and his leather jacket still very much sexy and very much tight.
"Remus?" the English call bringing him back to reality, his cheeks heating up immediately.
"Yeah?"
"You're bleeding," Sirius said, in a matter-of-fact tone, pointing to his cheek, which he realised was in fact bleeding. Great, another scar to add to the collection Remus thought bitterly.

"Shit. really?" he cursed, whipping a hand to his cheek to touch the sticky blood now on it.
"No, I'm lying ." Sirius teased, before stepping out of the rubble and heading back to the front of the store.
"Hop on the counter, I'll get a wet rag" Sirius announced, jumping over the counter and into Remus's kitchen.

Stunned at the man's confidence, Remus sat himself on the counter - feeling like a kid in the nurse's office, and after a moment, Sirius came out with a wet rag filled with ice. "Here, hold that to your cheek - don't want it to swell do we?"
Remus was at a loss for words as Sirius smiled and hopped up beside him.
"Thanks," Remus said, feeling like a total tit as he looked over at the rubble that once was his back bookshelf.
"The famous Lunar Café, well I must say.. the décor is splendid" Sirius laughed, knocking his shoulders with Remus's.
"Well the customers do love a good rubble of books"
"Oh no I doubt that for a second Moon baker"

Remus chuckled and looked to his left, examining Sirius's unnaturally perfect side profile. "-So you're from London?" Remus awkwardly asked, trying to diffuse the tension.
"Yes, a right city brat I am" Sirius met his gaze, immediately causing Remus's heart to flutter
"I'd say more of just a brat in general" Remus quipped, smirking as well as he could with a rag on his cheek.
"Oi, watch it Moony, there are about six other bookshelves for me to knock down"

"Moony?" Remus inquired, raising a brow. "Yes, Moony, you must be a moon freak to call your café the Lunar café" Sirius said, his smile only widening. Remus shook his head and sighed, the pang of longing building up in his stomach. In an attempt to regain his pride, Remus hopped off the counter.

"Right, so...what can I get for you?"
"How 'bout a tour of the town?" Sirius smirked, grinning at the baker.
"One tour of the town, coming right up!" Remus called, walking over to the counter and writing a quick note for Lily, then picking up his jacket - flashing Sirius a grin.