Hello, everyone! Sorry I haven't updated in so long. For the first part of the hiatus, I was busy with exams and doing live school. The second half, my apartment lost its Wi-Fi, so I was limited. But I'm back! And I'm writing again! Hurray!

"Does everyone have their food?" Bulma asked. "Because I'm playing it now."

"Yes!"

"Let's get started already," Beerus said, tossing some spicy chicken nuggets into his mouth.

The disclaimer plays.

Kaiserneko: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, TOEI Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

The scene opens up with Goku getting launched by Ōzaru Vegeta's attack.

"That form does seem to have its uses," Whis nods. "Why don't you guys try to regain this power?"

"It's a bit wild to control," Vegeta explained. "Plus, Super Saiyan forms are better and more easily activated."

"What about combining the two?" Whis asked, interested. "Combining Super Saiyan God transformations with this Great Ape transformation may prove fruitful. And if you need your tail, it's not like you haven't used the Dragon Balls for pettier reasons."

The Saiyans pondered on using two different combinations at the same time.

Ōzaru Vegeta: What did I tell you, Kakarot? I'm ten times stronger in this form, while you are beaten and weary.

Goku (thinking): Man, this is worse than that time I was in high school.

"I never went to school!" Goku blinked in confusion.

Goku: And all the guys called me "Geeko."

"That's a pretty weak taunt," Trunks said.

"What are you talking about?" Bulma asked Goku.

Goku: And I was Piccolo's slave.

"Yeah, pretty sure I would have remembered that," Piccolo scoffed.

Goku: I couldn't get Chi-Chi to like me,

"Now I know you're dreaming," Chi-Chi said, hugging Goku.

Goku: And…

Goku (out loud): Oh wow, I hit that rock harder than I thought.

"Obviously," Frieza rolled his eyes.

Ōzaru Vegeta: Now, Kakarot, to finish this!

Goku (thinking):Oh man, what would Yamcha do?

"You sure that's the best idea?" Vegeta sneered.

"Hey!" Yamcha protested. "I'm not that bad!"

Cue flashback to Yamcha exploding.

Vegeta just gave Yamcha a smirk.

Yamcha turned away, blushing. "S-shut up."

Goku (thinking):Um... um... What would Tien do?!

"To be honest, that's probably the more sensible option," Beerus nods.

Yamcha just mutters under his breath, annoyed.

Goku (out loud): Wait, I know!

He jumps in front of Ōzaru Vegeta.

Ōzaru Vegeta: Prepare to die, Kakarot!

Goku: Solar Flare!

"AHHH!" Everyone screamed in pain as their eyes, as a blinding light hit them.

"Why?!" Gohan shouted.

"How did that affect me?" Beerus groaned.

"It's weirdly effective," Whis commented.

Goku blinds Ōzaru Vegeta with a flash of light and flies away.

"Anyone have a weird image in their head?" Bulma asked.

"Don't say anything!" Vegeta shouted.

Ōzaru Vegeta:AAAAH! My eyes! Oh God, it's like walking in on Frieza in the shower! Wait a minute, Frieza's always naked. AAAAAAGGGGHHH!

"I never thought about it, but he's right," Goten thought out loud. "The other Frieza species didn't wear anything either."

"Didn't they wear armor?" Trunks said. "Or was the model just modeled off of-"

"Please, kids," Vegeta groaned, gripping his head. "Please stop."

Frieza rolled his eyes. "Prude."

Goku: Alright, that should buy me some time, now let's see. Planet, give me your energy- everything you can spare!

"Question," Whis asked. "Why didn't you try to cut his tail off?"

"I didn't understand just how the transformation was done," Goku explained. "Looking back on it now, I should have expected that it had something to do with the tail."

"Trust me, Kakarot," Vegeta said, "none of us expect you to do something smart."

Ōzaru Vegeta (in background): Kakarot, when I find you you're going to die! And not any sort of good death! You're going to die horribly, terribly, I'm going to eat your...

"Why monologue when you can just sniff them out like a good little monkey?" Frieza taunts.

"Oh, shut up, Frieza," Vegeta growled.

He continues to speak in the background. Meanwhile, Goku begins speaking.

Goku: Oceans, forests, people of the planet, and all the animals that live alongside them!

"You know what, as much as it pains me, he's right," Bulma noticed. "Goku's just talking out loud right now."

He starts glowing with light energy.

Ōzaru Vegeta (in background): I'm going to hammer you...

"I guess I can monologue a bit," Vegeta said, unable to deny the evidence.

"A bit?" everyone sweatdropped.

His monologue continues.

Goku: There, I think I have enough energy- but, maybe a little more wouldn't hurt...

The scene cuts to a large buck groaning and then collapses.

The kids gasp.

"Bambi!" Marron shouts.

Baby Deer: Daddy? Daddy?

"Oops," Goku laughed nervously.

The screen cuts back to wastelands.

Goku (thinking): Alright, that should do it! All finished.

Ōzaru Vegeta (regaining his eyesight): Finally, I can see again. Kakarot, I am going to KILL you!

"The Spirit Bomb really has a terrible charge up time," Beerus noted. "Worse then the Namekian's charge up time."

"Hey!" King Kai objected. "It's not a bad technique!"

"Has it ever actually taken down an opponent?" Beerus countered.

"Well- Um- Buu! It took down Buu!"

Goku:Now, take this! Energy from the entire world!

Ōzaru Vegeta fires a mouth blast at Goku.

"See what I mean?" Beerus gave the Kai a look. King Kai only grumbled under his breath in response.

Goku:Well, if that don't beat all...

He gets hit with the blast, losing the energy for the Spirit Bomb.

Goku: AAAAAAAAH!

The Saiyan hero gets knocked into a plateau and onto the ground.

Ōzaru Vegeta: Hey, Kakarot, what's the opposite of Christopher Walken?

"How do you even know who that is?" Bulma asked.

Vegeta shrugged.

Goku: Huh?

Ōzaru Vegeta: Christopher Reeves!

Vegeta lands, crushing Goku's legs.

"Boo!" the earthlings shouted.

Goku (in agony):AAAAAAAOOWWW! That was in terrible taaaaaaste!

"Agreed," Mr. Satan nodded.

Ōzaru Vegeta: Don't care; evil! Now, time to crush you like an Arlian.

"Did you have to remind us of those disgusting bug people?" Android 18 shuddered. "I just got them out of my head."

Goku: A... what?

Ōzaru Vegeta: Exactly, now die!

Ōzaru Vegeta prepares to squash Goku with his finger, but Goku retaliates by blasting Ōzaru Vegeta's eye.

Vegeta growled, remembering of that blast to the eye.

Ōzaru Vegeta:AAAUGH! Again with the f***ing eye! God... dammit!

Goku: Hah! Now to make my cunning escape.

Goku dodging Ōzaru Vegeta's attacks before jumping into the air...

"Yay, Dad!" Goten laughed. "You got away!"

Unfortunately, it turns out to be an imagination in Goku's head.

"Never mind."

"Sorry, Goten," Goku winced.

Goku: Ah, that would be awesome.

Ōzaru Vegeta: I've had enough of this.

Vegeta manages to grab Goku.

Ōzaru Vegeta: I'm going to crush the life out of you, you insolent little...

The giant monkey begins to squeeze the life out of Goku.

Goku: AAAAAAGGGH!

The Z-Fighters wince, except the apathetic gods and the sadistic Frieza, who himself was smiling.

The scene shifts to Gohan and Krillin flying away.

Gohan: Krillin, are you sure my dad's going to be okay all on his own?

Krillin: Oh, come on, Gohan, you saw how much stronger your dad's become. I'm sure he can take care of-

GOKU (in distance): AAAAAAAAH!

KRILLIN: Ah, Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter.

"Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter?" Multiple Z-Fighters blink in confusion.

"Don't look at me," Krillin shrugged.

The scene shifts back to Goku being crushed by Ōzaru Vegeta.

Ōzaru Vegeta: All right, Kakarot, let's hear those bones shatter!

The Saiyan Prince crushes Goku harder, causing him to squeak.

Everyone became silent, looking at the screen in surprise.

"What?" Goku blinked in confusion.

Ōzaru Vegeta: What the?

He crushes Goku again, causing him to squeak again.

Ōzaru Vegeta: My God, that's hilarious!

Everyone, even Goku, started laughing, until Beerus approached Goku from behind. The God of Destruction gave Goku a little squeeze, causing the Saiyan to squeak.

"Ha! It actually works!"

"Ow," Goku said, holding his ribs in pain.

Vegeta gleefully begins to repeatedly crush Goku, who squeaks while doing so.

As screen-Goku squeaked, Beerus caused regular Goku to squeak as well.

"Beerus!" Goku whined. "Stop it."

Ōzaru Vegeta: Hahahah! Muhahaha!

Gohan (arrives to help his father): Get your filthy hands off him, you damn dirty ape!

"That's copyright infringement," Mr. Satan sighed.

"I don't think they own the phrase," Videl said.

Ōzaru Vegeta: Oh, very creative. And what exactly will you do if I don't?

Gohan: I'll make you regret it! Law of mass dictates that the mass of an object dramatically increases the force of impact when said object collides with the ground! And with your size, you'll make an extensively large impact upon your inevitable defeat!

Only Beerus, Bulma, Whis, Gohan, and some of the other smart people knew what he was saying. The others (mainly Goku) were simply confused.

Cue a long pause.

Goku & Ōzaru Vegeta & the others: What?

Bulma sighed.

Both Gohans: The bigger they are, the harder they fall!

"Oh."

He gets into a battle pose accompanied with a bwong sound.

Goku: What?

Ōzaru Vegeta crushes him again, making him squeak.

"Hey!" Goku said.

Vegeta smirked. "Not apologizing for that. Too funny."

Goku: Argh! Stop that!

Ōzaru Vegeta: Listen, kid, you're real brave and all, but your dad's beaten and broken. And neither of you have the skill or energy...

Krillin: Kienzan!

Bulma gave Krillin an incredulous stare. "W-Why did you feel a need to shout that?"

Krillin blushed. "Look, we just shout our attacks sometimes! It helps us focus!"

The more battle-ready fighters nodded sagely while the non-combatants and smarter fighters merely shook their heads.

The short fighter fires a Destructo Disc at Ōzaru Vegeta's tail, who dodges the attack by simply jumping.

"When you shout it like that, all you have is a mildly dangerous frisbee," Vegeta taunted.

Before Krillin could speak, Marron stuck her tongue out at Vegeta. Krillin gave his daughter a big hug as thanks.

Ōzaru Vegeta: ...to take me on.

Krillin (offscreen): Dammit!

"Wouldn't that count as a Krillin Owned thing?" Chiaotzu asked.

"I think that's only when Krillin gets hurt physically or emotionally," Tien explained.

Ōzaru Vegeta: You're finished! All of your planet's greatest fighters—all of them—worthless in the presence of a Saiyan elite! None of you can stop me! None of you!

Suddenly, his tail gets cut off by a jumping Yajirobe.

Vegeta growled as a moment of his shame was played. Meanwhile, Frieza laughed, rolling on the ground.

"That's how you lost your tail?!" Frieza hooted. "To an overweight blob like that?! Hilarious! He wasn't even in most of the battle! Plus, I don't think he can even fly!"

"Hey," Goku frowned. "You be nice to Yajirobe! He may be fat and food obsessed and never trains anymore and… I don't know where I'm going with this."

"Yeah, you kinda lost your train of thought, didn't you," Dende said.

"Speaking of Yajirobe," Mr. Popo noticed, "we never got him or Korin to come watch with us."

"Oh, my apologizes," Whis bowed. "I can grab them now. And that Launch person you all talked about before."

"That'd be great!" Goku beamed.

"Actually, can you wait with the whole Launch thing," Tien said, looking guilty. "I kinda want to talk to her by myself when I find her. And I don't think being abducted by an angel would calm her down, especially in her gun using persona."

"And keep that slob out of this time room!" Beerus ordered. "If what they say is right, that fatso might steal all of our food! He's almost as bad as Champa!"

Yajirobe: Runningrunningrunningrunningrunning!

"I don't think they changed much of Yajirobe's character in this," Oolong noted.

"You're right," Bulma agreed, "but that may just be him not really showing up. Where was he during the Saiyan fight?"

"If I'm recall, he was in East City eating free meals and talking to journalists," Mr. Popo remembered. "He eventually ran to the wastelands but was still hiding. He never really trained much at the Lookout with the other fighters so I think it was for the best."

"So he was a coward who attacked me while my guard was down," Vegeta growled, making a side note to punch Yajirobe in the face.

The fat warrior runs away as fast as he can and Ōzaru Vegeta drops Goku.

Goku (squeaks as he slams the ground): Ow.

"I'm still squeaking," Goku sighed.

Chi-Chi giggled. "I kinda think it's cute."

Ōzaru Vegeta: God... God dammiiiiii...

The Saiyan Prince reverts back to his original form.

Vegeta (beginning to breathe heavily): ...iiiiiit!

Krillin: He's back to normal! Gohan, we can do this! We can beat him! WE HAVE A CHAN—

He proceeds to get sent flying into a boulder.

Krillin sighed. "I guess I asked for that."

"He's admitted it!" Yamcha whispered to Tien.

"He's facing reality," Tien nodded.

"I CAN HEAR YOU TWO!"

Krillin Owned Count: 9

Krillin (in pain): Oh God...

Vegeta (to Gohan, who's whimpering in fear): You know, I thought I'd be angrier, what with the utter humiliation and loss of my tail, or maybe I'm just so unbelievably enraged that I have come full circle.

"The latter sounds more like you," Bulma said.

He punches Gohan in the stomach and throws him next to Goku.

Vegeta: Oh well. Either way, it's time to put an end to this.

Goku (telepathically):G-Gohan, is that you?

"You know, sometimes I forget that you guys can speak telepathically," Chi-Chi blinked.

"It's actually a bit harder than you'd think," King Kai explained, being the most experienced one in the Far-Seeing Arts. "If you manage to use the Dragon Balls to resurrect me, I wouldn't mind coming to Earth to teach you it."

Chi-Chi beamed. "Then I'd be able to find Goku, Gohan, and Goten whenever I want! I can even call them for food!"

Even with the promise of faster food deliveries, the Son family shivered at the thought of a Chi-Chi that could see what they were doing and scold them from ridiculous distances. The father and sons gave each other a look and nodded. They had to get to the Dragon Balls before Chi-Chi did.

Gohan (telepathically):Hey, daddy... I'm... really sorry.

Goku (telepathically):It's okay, Gohan... You tried your best... At least you got home to your mother and told her to-

Gohan (telepathically):Um, actually, I never went home... I came back to save you...

Goku (telepathically):Oh...

"You sound disappointed," Chi-Chi noted, frowning.

"I kinda wanted that dinner," Goku joked.

Gohan (telepathically):D-Daddy?

Goku (telepathically):Everyone makes mistakes, Gohan...

He reaches out for Gohan's hand.

Goku:But we have to be strong now, okay?

"Aw, that's pretty cute," Videl and the others smiled at the heartwarming scene.

Gohan (telepathically):Daddy...

Gohan reaches out to his father's hand.

Goku (telepathically):Son...

Goku then gets kneed in the stomach by Vegeta, ruining the moment.

"Do you have any tact!" multiple people yelled at Vegeta, though Chi-Chi's voice was the loudest amongst them.

Vegeta wisely chose to look away.

The animation from DragonBall Z plays.

Goku is seen spitting out blood as Gohan screams in horror.

Vegeta: What now, Kakarot?

He stomps on Goku's stomach.

Vegeta winced as he felt Trunks and Bulma give him looks.

Vegeta: You damaged me!

The Saiyan Prince begins kicking Goku repeatedly.

Vegeta: You cut off my tail! You've insulted me beyond belief. But you still haven't taken my pride!

"Technically, the tail being cut off was Yajirobe's fault," Goku defended. "I was kinda being used as a squeaky toy."

"You're throwing Yajirobe under the bus?" Yamcha said in surprise.

"What!?" Goku exclaimed. "No, I-"

"Regardless of whose fault it was, I look a bit too pissed off," Vegeta said, trying to ignore the guilt.

Gohan interrupts him with a kick.

Vegeta: Ow, my pride!

The dark stares at Vegeta was soon replaced with laughter as Vegeta rid his face of anything that looked like embarrassment.

Gohan and Vegeta begin exchanging blows in midair.

Gohan: I'll teach you to hurt my daddy!

Vegeta: What are you going to do, huh?! You barely have any energy left!

Gohan elbows Vegeta in the eye.

"What's with that low born family and hitting me in the eye," Vegeta grumbles.

Vegeta: UAGH!

Vegeta (thinking while holding his right eye):Gah! My eye! Why is it always the god damn eye?!

Goku: K-Krillin, come here. I have something to give you.

Krillin limps over to Goku.

Krillin: Your last will and testament?

"Why would he give you that?" Chi-Chi asked.

"Speaking of which, what did Goku's will say when he first die?" Tien asked curiously.

"Huh," Chi-Chi said. "I never actually read his will. The others pretty much assured me he would be brought back with the Dragon Balls so I never really thought to open it."

"Huh, we really do use the Dragon Balls way too much," Gohan said.

Goku: No, it's energy from the entire world. It's our last hope.

Krillin: And you're giving it to me?

"Hey, you're good enough for it," Android 18 hugged her husband. He gave her a thankful smile.

Goku: I'm kinda out of options...

Our hero passes the remaining of the Spirit Bomb over to Krillin.

Krillin: Holy crap! So this is what being important feels like!

Krillin's family give him a bigger hug.

Vegeta is seen gaining the upper hand against Gohan, launching him onto the ground.

Vegeta (while walking towards Gohan): Alright, Kakarot. Say goodbye to your son!

Vegeta begins running towards Gohan.

"Where's Krillin with that Spirit Bomb!" Chi-Chi shouted worried.

"Uh… I'm probably still getting the power!" Krillin said a little too quickly.

Krillin (thinking):Wow! Such power, from every living being on the planet. I can feel it all surging inside of me. Every man, woman, and child. This is Planet Earth's very essence!

"You wasted that time to monologue?"

"It was a lot of energy!"

Krillin (out loud):BOO-YAH, MOTHERF**KER!

Yamcha laughed. "Nice line.

He throws Spirit Bomb at Vegeta.

Vegeta (stops running and notices the Spirit Bomb): Wh-what the hell is-?

Krillin:ENJOY YOUR STAY IN HELL!

Vegeta dodges the Spirit Bomb by jumping.

"Again, when thrown like that and at that small size, it's nothing more than a dodgeball," Vegeta said.
"At least the monkey's was huge," Frieza agreed.

"Aw…" Krillin signed, retreating into his family's hug.

Krillin: Gyaaaah! God dammit!

He pouts in background and the Spirit Bomb is seen flying at Gohan.

Goku (telepathically):Gohan, listen, you have to bounce it back at Vegeta.

Gohan (telepathically):But, are you sure? I don't think energy works like that.

"Don't worry, Gohan," King Kai assured. "The Spirit Bomb is pure good energy! Your pure soul should allow you to deflect it easily!"

"That… doesn't sound efficient," Whis said. "Especially in the Tournament of Power. Many of those fighters were good and simply fighting for the survival of their universe."

"Will you all please stop dissing my Spirit Bomb!" King Kai shouted.

Goku (telepathically):Don't worry, Gohan, you can do it. You're a good guy.

Gohan (telepathically):Oh, okay, if you believe in me then I'll-

Goku (telepathically):Or it'll kill you.

"It won't!" King Kai shouted.

Gohan (telepathically):What?!

"Too late to back out now," Gohan sighed.

Gohan puts his hands out, making a spring sound effect from Sonic the Hedgehog, bouncing the Spirit Bomb back at Vegeta.

Vegeta: There's nothing left now- your last hope and you missed. You're all defeated and there isn't a damn thing you can—

Vegeta growled. "I need to train my alertness on the battlefield… Maybe I can do what Kakarot did and hire an assassin…"

"Oh, no you don't!" Bulma shouted. "What Goku did was stupid! I'm not having you do the same thing!"

Vegeta (thinking): What smells like deer?

He notices the Spirit Bomb but gets hit at point-blank.

Vegeta: WAAAAAH!

Then proceeds to get blasted into the sky with the Spirit Bomb.

Vegeta: CURSE MY HUBRIS!

"You actually realized that you lost due to pride?" Bulma gives her husband an amazed stare, as does everyone else. Vegeta merely grunted in response.

Krillin (jumps into the sky): Yahoo!

Krillin rushes towards his best friend.

Krillin: Goku, we did it! We won! We beat him with the Spirit Bomb!

"Barely," Vegeta spat.

Goku (telepathically):Way to go, you guys.

"Wait, why didn't any of you bring any Senzu beans? You pretty much always have a few on you nowadays," Roshi noted.

"Plus, you were literally right above Korin's place," Dende agreed with the assessment.
The Z-Fighters give a look of embarrassment.

Beerus groaned. "I swear, if you didn't have Dragon Balls, Earth would have been destroyed decades ago."

Gohan starts laughing.

Krillin: All right, Goku. Let's get you and Gohan home. It's been tough, but now, we'll never have to see that rotten Saiyan ever again.

Vegeta lands next to Goku and Krillin.

"Wow," Chiaotzu said. "Nice timing."

Krillin: Alive again. We'll never have to see him alive again, that's what I meant.

"Wrong again," Krillin said, shaking his head. "I'm just tempting fate, aren't I?"

He approaches Vegeta's motionless body.

Vegeta: But at least it's finally over.

Yajirobe: You gonna eat that Saiyan?

Everyone was silent.

Beerus spoke first, looking disgusted. "What?"

Krillin: Wha-

Yajirobe: Dibs!

"EW!"

That was the general consensus amongst the group.

"I'm never looking at Yajirobe the same way again!"

"Even Lord Beerus wouldn't be that hungry!"

"First of all, Whis, I have standards! Second, don't use me as an example!"

"I'm going to pretend I didn't just hear that!"

Krillin: Rrright. Anyway, it seems the Spirit Bomb's done the trick. And with that, we can all go home and live in peace and-

Vegeta (wakes up):HUAAAAAAAH!

Krillin:WAAAAAAHH!

Gohan:AAAAAAAHH!

Yajirobe: UAAAAAHHH!

Krillin: WAAAAAHH!

"We get it! He's alive! Now stop screaming!" Frieza barked.

Vegeta: AAAAAAH!

Gohan: AAAAAAAH!

Yajirobe: UAAAAHHH!

Everyone continues yelling in the background.

Goku:What's going on, guys? We won, right?

"Wait, you can talk now?" Gohan asked. "What happened to your telepathy?"

Goku shrugged. "Guess I recovered a bit."

"Next episode!" Goten and Trunks shouted.

And done! Again, sorry about the hiatus. Living with no Wi-Fi leaves a person without much room to update. Still, now that I have it back and I'm more used to school, I'll try to update more often. Happy Halloween everyone! See you soon hopefully!