Hello all. Welcome to the first chapter of Reading NaruToons! I know I should be working on some of my other stories but I seem to be in a creative slump so I'm hoping this will help.
Summary: Naruto (with Kurama), Anko, Kushina, eventually either Samui, Shizuka, or Kin (up to the readers to choose), Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, Wile E. Coyote and possibly Elmer Fudd (again up to the readers for the "Rabbit/Duck Season" gag) all gather together to read/watch the looney adventures of our orange loving powerhouse.
"Talking."
'Thinking.'
*Sounds*
"Bijuu talking."
'Bijuu thinking.'
"Book talking."
'Book thinking.'
"Book Bijuu talking"
'Book Bijuu thinking.'
(A/Ns.)
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Looney Toons or the story NaruToons. You won't see this again.
In a void in the multiverse, a handsome 25-year-old minor god with a beard-mustache combo connected to his hair via sideburns, listening to Bon Jovi's Livin on a Prayer, appears. "Ok, this should be a good enough spot." The god says before *snap* he snaps his fingers causing seven flashes of light to appear.
From these flashes of light appear, Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze (Hero of the Fourth Great Ninja World War), Anko Mitarashi, Kushina Uzumaki Namikaze (added Minato's last name after wedding), Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, and Wile E. Coyote. "Eh what's up doc?" Bugs asks getting a chuckle from the god.
"My name is Scheffinator, call me Scheff for short, and I'm a minor god in charge of the multiverse. I've brought you all here to read/watch a story created by a fellow minor god (Hope you don't mind if I called you a minor god pain17ification) about the blonde knucklehead over there that has him as a redhead with the looney powers you all are known for." The god, Scheffinator, says in explanation. "Oh, before I forget *snap*." Scheffinator snaps his fingers causing another flash of light that soon fades to reveal Kurama as an anthropomorphic fox just like the others from the Looney Toons world. Scheffinator soon leaves in a flash of light leaving a large flat screen tv behind.
We begin this tale with a peaceful little village, where-
"WAIT A SECOND!"
A teenager dressed in a black shirt with an orange vest, red pants, and black sandals wearing a Hidden Leaf headband runs in front of a blank white canvas.
Pointing at the viewers, the teen yells, "Hey wise guy, we can't have a story intro without some scenery!"
Huh… I guess I forgot to put that there. Hang on a sec.
The watchers all laugh at that while Bugs has a fond smile at doing something similar to Daffy before.
A paintbrush appears next to the redheaded boy and moves in an artistic fashion, giving the viewers an image of the beautiful Village Hidden in the Leaves with the teen standing on an old apartment rooftop.
"Just to let you all know, a disembodied voice like the one that said about forgetting to add the beautiful scenery is my fellow minor god and the creator of the story you all are watching." Scheffinator says while appearing on screen. "Scenes like that will happen occasionally throughout the story so keep that in mind." He adds before the screen returns to the story.
How's that?
"It'll do. Now, on to the story!"
There was a large, grey colored building within the walls of the Hidden Leaf, placed in one of the more secluded sections of the village. This building was dull and quite plain, but a large sign out front read Hidden Leaf Asylum.
"Do we have an asylum?" Naruto is the one to ask getting a nod of the head from Anko. "Yup. It's where most ANBU and Jonin who end up snapping from the constant violence and bloodshed end up." Anko replied getting a shiver from the blonde maverick.
It is here that citizens of the Leaf who have, to put it bluntly, lost their minds for any reason reside. Within one of these rooms, an elderly man was seated in a comfortable chair with a straightjacket on while a redheaded teen was lounging on his back with his arms as a pillow…on the room's ceiling.
"Ha! The old monkey deserves to be in a straightjacket!" Kushina laughs out loud. Kurama joins her in laughing at the Sandaime (Third) Hokage (Fire Shadow).
"…And that is where you come in, my boy," stated the man, finishing the explanation to his dilemma concerning the Academy Graduates. "You're the only one around their age group that is remotely prepared for what's out there; though I had hoped you would've learned from a more…reliable source."
The teen grinned widely and waved his hand in dismissal. "C'mon Gramps, you're too hard on her. She said she was sorry after all. Besides, it's not her fault that some guy with pink eye drover her nuts."
"Ho? So, I'm a female in this story?" Kurama asks out loud. "Yes, and for a reason you all will learn later on." Scheffinator says while appearing on screen with a mischievous grin before the screen returns to the story.
"Even so, she's the reason you're in this place, Naruto," argued the man.
"Pfft! You know for a fact that the reason I'm here is not because of her." He dropped from the ceiling and sat down face the tied up Hokage. "The reason I'm here is because you thought it'd be best for me when I was just fine! I mean, look at me! I'm in the prime of my life here, Gramps! So what if you think I'm crazy!"
"So, my baby has my red hair *squeal*!" Kushina says with a squeal at the end while glomping Naruto who blushes in embarrassment.
"Naruto, I never said that."
"But you implied it. Besides," his grin grew and stretched across his face, "I'm not crazy; I just don't give a darn!"
He then started bouncing all over the walls in whooping laughter that made the Hokage both mentally smile and frown at the same time. He was happy to see Naruto so upbeat, but he knew the only reason he was so was because his mind was damaged.
It had taken years – ever since Naruto was seven years old – for the truth of Naruto's mental damage to be brought to life. From what he had gathered during the rare moments of Naruto being serious, the boy had escaped into his own mind when the hatred and disgust of the villagers finally got to him. The boy had unknowingly entered the representation of the seal and met the Kyuubi; who revealed itself to be a female.
"I told Minato-kun that the villagers would never accept Sochi-kun as a hero for holding Kurama but he was always too optimistic." Kushina says with a glare towards the empty air.
Desperate for an escape and a release from his life, he had begged the vixen to put an end to the hurt and the pain, promising anything in return. It still surprised the old Kage that the Kyuubi only damaged Naruto's mind to the point of insanity instead of outright killing him. The result of the damage done by the vixen was Naruto disregarding all signs of the village's hatred of him in exchange for insane antics.
His pranking had tripled in activity during the first year, and the pranks were surprisingly far more intricate in design than they were before. Not only had that occurred, but the mixture of the Kyuubi's chakra into his brain had spread to his entire body, coating it and his natural network in small fragments of Bijuu chakra. This resulted in something worthwhile happening to Naruto; which was another reason for Hiruzen to place him in the Leaf's asylum.
Now, the Hokage wished to utilize that worthwhile phenomenon to full effect and have Naruto join the ninja corps. With his insanity and the unusual abilities the Kyuubi had unknowingly – or possibly even knowingly – bestowed upon him, the Uzumaki would be a force to be reckoned with.
"As if I'm not already a force to be reckoned with." Naruto says with a pout getting a chuckle from Kurama.
First, he had to get Naruto to calm down and agree.
"Naruto, settle down for one second please and listen!" The boy was in front of the man on a dime, once more surprising the Kage with his speed. "I need you to take a spot on the remaining team of graduates from the Academy. Without you, they would be down a member and unable to become Genin of the village."
Naruto nodded and hummed in thought. "So, I get to be a Genin then, huh? Why not just pull someone from the reserves?"
"Because most Genin from the reserves are already experienced enough to be Chunin and are awaiting private tests with an experienced one. This leaves you, Naruto, since you're trained and you're around their age."
The teen frowned at that before his thoughts turned inward. 'What do you think?'
"I say go for it. I mean, it's not like you'll be allowed to do much else in here, considering you're loony and all."
'I guess… Hey, does this mean I can mess with other people…on the outside?' His grin grew to new lengths at the thought.
"Of course, Kit! You'll be able to fuck with any person you meet and show them your special brand of crazy!"'
"I'm in!" Yelled the redhead, to both the old man and his tenant.
Hiruzen smiled and nodded, standing up from his seat. "Excellent. Now, we'll head to the Academy at once so you can meet your team. I asked them to wait for me there. I'll have someone give you clothes since a hospital gown just won't do for a Hidden Leaf Genin."
Two ANBU operatives entered the room and freed the Hokage from the straightjacket before leading him and Naruto out. As soon as they were out, one of the operatives grabbed the boy and started squeezing the life out of him.
"Thank Kami you're finally out! I've missed you so much, squirt!" Exclaimed a female voice while Naruto's face turned blue and his head started to expand like a balloon about to burst.
Anko perks up at the voice and gave a wide grin that screamed sadistically gleeful causing the others to shiver.
His head actually did pop at that, releasing a BANG followed by confetti and streamers. The ANBU casually tossed the body aside and looked up, seeing Naruto standing on the ceiling with a pout.
"That wasn't nice, y'know." He then paled and had a look of horror. "I coulda died!"
Kushina bops Naruto on the head while shouting "That's my tic!" Naruto just cowers in fear as Kushina has a throbbing tick mark on her forehead while her hair splits into nine tails.
"Like you would die from that, squirt. Besides, I hardly hugged ya!"
Hiruzen and the other ANBU member chuckled at their antics before the Hokage stated, "Snake, you are relieved of ANBU duties for the time being. I'm reassigning you to the T&I Dept. with Ibiki."
"Oh, goody goody!" Gleefully cheered the ANBU member before she removed her mask, showing a young woman with purple hair styled into a fan like tail, brown eyes without pupils, and a slightly fanged grin.
"About time you got outta disguise, nee-chan," Naruto stated with a grin before clothes were smacked into his face.
"Shaddup!" She yelled. "Put those on already and let's go, brat!"
Mocking her command with a high pitched voice that made her eye twitch, he stepped into a small room before coming out in a black shirt under and open orange vest that had a red spiral on the back, red pants, black sandals and a Hidden Leaf headband loosely hanging around his neck. On his forehead was a pair of goggles that had been given to him as a child by the Ichiraku Ramen chefs.
"Alright then, I'm ready to go!" He stated with a grin.
"Looking good there, Kit. The clothes really suit you."
'Heh… Thanks, Kyuubi.'
"What did I tell you to call me?"
He mentally gulped at her tone and corrected himself, 'I mean thanks, kaa-chan.'
She smiled at him after he rectified his thanks. "That's a good Kit…"
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAT!" Kushina screamed with wide eyes, while both Naruto and Kurama are both equally wide eyed as well.
Mentally smiling back to her, Naruto followed the others as they led him to the Academy. Along the way, villagers were giving him shocked looks along with looks of distrust and hatred. However unlike before, Naruto ignored those looks and smiled widely, humming a tune the entire time and singing the verses every now and then.
"Hmm hmm, hm-hmm… hello my baby, hello my honey… Hm-hmm hm-hmm hmm hmm… Baby, my heart's on fire…"
"Good gracious, it's THAT song?" It was Porky Pig to groan that out while the other Toons all facepalm as well.
Mitarashi Anko chuckled at that, knowing the song since he would sing it to himself now and then in his cell. She was a frequent visitor of the boy, seeing as she was the one that Hiruzen had bring him in. The kid was just too much fun and she was allowed inside the room with him at times, allowing her to see firsthand just how loony – his words – he was.
In her eyes, Naruto loved to laugh and be silly, and he seemed to enjoy it even more when he either messed with someone or made them laugh. It was during her visits that the two shared ideas and eventually got close. It was by accident one day that she called him otouto, and at first she thought she had gone too far when she saw him tense and freeze.
But seconds later, she was busy keeping her balance as the boy sized bullet slammed into her and hugged her tightly. Something sparked in her that day, and she mentally made a promise to make sure that the kid would keep on laughing…for his own sake.
"Oh my poor Sochi-kun." Kushina says with waterfall tears flowing from her eyes as she hugs Naruto.
They had finally made it to the Academy and Naruto was led into a classroom where four people were waiting. The first was the Chunin instructor, Umino Iruka. He bowed politely to them while discreetly – in his opinion – eyeing the redheaded boy.
The second adult was a woman with wavy raven hair, wine red eyes, and some unique attire made of what appeared to be wrappings. It suited her well, strangely enough.
The two Genin beside her were a boy and a girl. They boy had bushy hair and wore a coat with a high collar that left only his shaded eyes visible. He had a look of utter calm and seriousness about him. The girl had platinum blonde hair and wore a purple outfit that accentuated her developing figure. She gave the boy a polite wave since she thought he looked pretty handsome.
"Naruto, these three are the remaining members of your team. Your sensei is Yuhi Kurenai," she nodded politely and smiled at him, "Aburame Shino," he stood and gave a small bow, "and Yamanaka Ino." She waved again with a wink.
"Yo! Pleased to meet you!" Greeted Naruto. "As for me…"
He grinned before he threw down a smoke bomb that already had Anko grinning. The others were surprised to find themselves in theater styled seats with a stage before them. A spotlight hit the stage and smoke came from openings. From the smoke, Naruto appeared with his arms crossed and a confident smirk on his face.
"Introducing, the world's looniest ninja of all time; Uzumaki Naruto!"
Confetti shot out and Naruto pulled out a top hat and cane from nowhere before he started to tap dance off the stage alongside upbeat music. When he was gone and the lights shut off, Anko laughed loudly in her seat while Kurenai and Hiruzen had small smiles. The two Genin, one Chunin, and remaining ANBU member were left confused as to how Naruto had pulled it off before they turned to Anko who clapped and whistled.
The watchers all laugh at that while Bugs gives Naruto a pat on the back for a good intro.
In another burst of smoke, the scenery returned to that of the classroom with Naruto sitting on the top of the cane, perfectly balanced and cross legged as if he'd done it many times before. "So, what'd you guys think?" He asked with a grin.
Kurenai was the first to speak, clearing her throat first. "Well, you certainly are as eccentric as ever, Naruto. Though for the sake of our sanity, please refrain from going overboard too much with your antics."
"No promises there, Kurenai-sensei!"
Shino fixed his glasses and commented, "It certainly was theatrical, though I'm unsure of how you were able to change our location so easily. It seems impossible, yet you obviously did it." He nodded, seemingly to himself. "I look forward to trying to deduce these 'antics' sensei says you do, Uzumaki-san."
"Oi, enough with the fancy shmancy smart talk, bug man! Speak the common tongue!"
"I was under the impression that I was. Forgive me if you had trouble understanding."
Naruto shrugged and waved off the apology while Ino finally composed herself. "That was…weird. But, it was kinda stylish at the same time. At least you'll keep things interesting."
"Girl," began Anko with a snicker, "you have noidea how true that statement will be."
"Well, I believe I'm no longer needed here. Boar, return to your post. I'll be in my office shortly. Iruka, you're free to go as well."
"Hai, Hokage-sama," saluted the ANBU and Chunin as they left in a leafy Body Flicker.
"Be sure to listen to your sensei and help your teammates, Naruto. And also, keep in mind that the Will of Fire burns strong in all of us."
He then left while Anko stood up and stretched. "Well brat, I'm gonna go clean up that extra room of mine. No way am I letting you go back to that poor excuse of a shack you called home."
"Aww!" He whined. "B-But it was such a cozy little shack! It was just my size!"
She bopped him on the head. "Well too damn bad! You're living with me and that's final! Got it?"
He shrunk – literally shrunk to a chibi size – at her glare with cute little fox ears and a fluffy ball of fur for a tail. "Hai, Anko-nee…"
She grinned victoriously and ruffled his chibi head before she left, allowing him to return back to normal. Kurenai rolled her eyes at that, having seen personally how close the two were when Anko dragged her along for a visit one day.
She had also seen just how crazy Naruto's antics and abilities were, so she knew just how dangerous the boy could be to potential threats. After all, the stuff he could bull off made what he already shown look incredibly tame. She was still unsure if it was possible that he did those things, but she wouldn't question it.
Rumor had it that the last doctor who tried to question the redhead's antics and figure them out found himself with a cell of his own at the asylum.
"Well then, I believe we'll continue this next time. We'll meet at Field 8, which corresponds with our team number, so that we can fully introduce ourselves and I can administer your true Genin Test."
"You really had to take a second test?" Wile asked to which Naruto nodded in response.
Shino nodded, having already figured out there would be a second test. Ino frowned at the sudden information, but she wouldn't let herself fail to become a kunoichi. Naruto…
Well, Naruto was playing cards with two clones at a poker table; each clone with a large cigar in their mouths.
That got a laugh from the Toons.
"I have two Queens," stated the first.
"Flush of Diamonds," the second one said with a smirk.
The last – and original – redhead grinned and threw down his card. "Royal Straight Flush! I love it when a hand comes together!" He declared, making the other two glare as he pulled all of the chips to his side. "Don't hate the player boys," he said as he took a drag and blew out the rest of the phrase in smoke.
Hate the game!
Kurenai's brow twitched at the blatant smoking coming from the three redheaded players. 'I get enough smoke from Asuma whenever he flirts with me! I do NOT need any more smoke!'
Naruto and his clones caught the small burst of killing intent and froze before they woodenly turned to her. "Uh-oh…"
"Naruto…" She began in a low tone, surprising the other two Genin.
"Well, what do ya know?!" Hurriedly exclaimed the Uzumaki as his clones dispersed. "It's time for me to go! Tootles!"
With a start of him running in place so fast his feet became blurring whirls, he shot out of the room like a rocket with a dust cloud trail following him. This got a series of twitches from Wile as the coyote is reminded of his greatest friend and target (Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner are the best of friends in my opinion. Why else would they be seen together more than Bugs Bunny and Wile E Coyote?). As the dust cleared, a sticky note was seen on the chalkboard with a drawling of a chibi Naruto with his foxy features throwing them a peace sign and a grin. While outwardly giving a look of irritation, internally Kurenai was chuckling mirthfully at his antics. She was going to enjoy having him. Though, a part of her wished that she could teach Hinata – due to her insecurities – she knew that the Hokage was right about her emotional attachments. She would be more of a hinderance to the girl due to her unconscious coddling.
"I was the same with my team and they turned out ok." Kushina says with a shrug.
She hated that it was true, but she couldn't deny it.
With a final nod to her remaining Genin, she left in a Body Flicker while they calmly walked out of the Academy building. The sane members of Team 8 all shared the same feelings of anxiety and worry that day, having seen just loony their redheaded teammate was.
And their careers would only get loonier from then on.
"Well, that is certainly something." Daffy finally speaks up getting nods from all the others. I certainly like it." Porky and Bugs say at the same time. "I just wish RR was here. He would certainly like how fast Loony Naruto is." Wile says with a wishful tone. "I somewhat feel the same about both Elmer Fudd and Yosemite Sam." Bugs says with the same tone.
Well, there's the first chapter. As said before, if you readers want Elmer Fudd and either Samui, Kin, or Shizuka in the story then say so in the reviews. R&R! Asta la Vista!