A/N: This takes place in the three year time skip, like in year 1½ or 2 after Guts joined the Hawks. So Casca and Guts are still at odds. I tried to characterize everyone well, but it's supposed to be funny soo... Idk reviews would be greatly appreciated.

Kids are Mean to the Ones They Like

"She's such a b*tch." Guts complained, sitting down heavily on the chair. He was in Griffith's study, a relatively small room with books piled high and various odds and ends.

"What happened this time?" Griffith asked exasperated. He was reviewing the most recent battle's wins and losses, a victory but more supplies were needed. He could be thankful for that.

Guts huffed, "I was supposed to tell Jeudo to tell his company to not try and cross some river on their next operation since flooding had made it dangerous, and I was going to tell him after I did some training, but then Casca comes by and bites my head off. If it were so important, why wouldn't she tell him herself."

"Were you going to tell Jeaudo?" Griffith was still not convinced Guts wasn't to blame for at least some of Casca's wrath.

"Well, yes." Guts admitted, "Eventually. I kinda figured he already knew, and Casca was just being, Casca."

"You have to understand how she worries." Griffith said, "People, especially women, worry even when they don't need to, Not everyone is like you."

"Yeah, I know." Guts grumbled. He was quiet for a moment before saying, "I just feel like if it were someone else she wouldn't have tried to tell them the message. It's like she knew how I was and wanted me to fail so she could yell at me more."

Griffith smiled at this and laughed softly, much to the confusion of Guts.

"Hey, What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing," Griffith said, obviously still amused, "It's just, you two remind me of children sometimes."

"Really?" Guts asked, "Us? You're the dork who named your horse Sir. Snowball."

"I didn't mean it as an insult." Griffith responded. Yes, so he might've been a bit tipsy when declaring the name for his horse, but that doesn't mean Griffith would be embarrassed by it. It also didn't mean he would justify Guts jab with a response, "Just, how you and Casca flirt sometimes is like when boys and girls first start to notice each other."

Guts blanched at that, "Flirt? With her?" He crossed his arms, "That's insane. Why would I do that? Besides," Guts lost some of his fire, "Casca hates me."

Griffith laughed again, "Guts, have you ever been around women your own age?" He asked.

"D'ya mean like camp followers, or…" Guts trailed off, blushing slightly.

Interesting…

Griffith had never asked, but was Guts a virgin? It wouldn't surprise Griffith, not exactly. Guts was an impressive warrior, but he wasn't an impressive people person, that was more Griffith's territory. At the same time, Guts wasn't a bad looking guy and Griffith knew women found him attractive; it wouldn't take much to bed one. Maybe he just didn't have any interest. Griffith could also believe that, as Guts was rather single minded focusing solely on swordplay. But that was how one got to his level.

"I mean as in any woman you've talked to or been around for extended periods of time." Griffith thought for a moment, "So I suppose you could include camp follower if that applied."

"Ah, I dunno. Not counting Casca I can't think of anyone."

"Not even from childhood?"

It was Guts' turn to laugh, "I didn't have a childhood, much less people my own age when I was a kid."

Griffith 'hmmed' at this and looked back to his papers, "Then I guess this behavior makes sense."

"Whatever," Guts shifted his eyes, "So why'd you call me here in the first place?" He seemed eager to change the subject.

"Glad you remembered your purpose." Griffith knew little about Guts' history, but he had never flat out asked. They were close enough to where Griffith could probably ask and get some sort of answer, but he wouldn't. It would be all sorts of awkward and while he was curious, he didn't care enough to ask. Sometimes Guts would share something with him, some story about a battle and it would fill Griffith with a strange feeling. It must be because of the sense of closeness that being confided in brought.

Casca was such a character, if only she and Guts could get past their differences and be nicer to each other. Although, Griffith was probably partially to blame for their animosity. He valued Casca, he really did, so he would expect her to understand that just because he gave Guts attention didn't make him think any less of her. Guts and Casca were probably the two people closest to him, it was just different.

Women were either almost mind numbingly simple or headache inducing complicated. Just take the Princess Charlotte, bless her heart. A pretty thing with good intentions, but so naive. Her father was partially to blame for sheltering her so, but she seemed too fragile to handle the truth. Take that opposed to Casca who was as complicated as they came. Guts just didn't have the experience to know that.

Griffith almost pitied him.

A/N: So some clarification of what Griffith thinks/knows. He sort of knows about Casca's crush on him but ignores it for the most part because he doesn't really think of her as a woman most of the time. He thinks Guts and Casca are crushing on each other, but he also thinks it's just a shallow thing and that they'll grow out of it once they mature. So this story is mostly just Griffith teasing Guts.

I don't know how much this is canon, but I like the idea that part of the reason Casca was so mean to Guts was because she liked him, soo… yeah. Guts' feelings are more obvious as by the time he left it was clear he had thought about Casca like that. The next one takes that idea and runs with it.