Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

"You're mad, bonkers, completely off your head. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are."
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

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"Master?" Renata drew her eyes from the sleeping girl who had yet to wake. "How are we going to convince Bella to come with us to our hotel for the night?"

A very good question. The girl had gone along with their suggestions until now, but nevertheless, her generous disposition could run out very soon. He'd wager this could easily be the last straw that broke to hypothetical camel's back. It was one thing to fly together with them, when there were plenty of airline employees present, but quite another to leave with essential strangers for their hotel in the dead of the night when they insisted that they wanted her to accompany them. The chances of this not finally starting to ring at least some bells for Bella were slim. Well, if she truly remained completely unaware, he'd have to reassess the brightness of the girl and what it would mean for their future acquaintance.

Well, it would definitely be easier for now if she had no suspicions… however, it was unlikely.

"Simple. We won't give her the chance to refuse." Renata lifted a brow which he translated to 'Do go on, I want to hear this'.

"I would not worry this much in your stead, darling. She will still be half asleep because of her interrupted nap and the early hour, thus more easily susceptible to our influence."

"Be that as it may…The human is not that stupid, Master."

"No, I don't believe she is." His lips stretched in a small, proud smile. "But she won't protest. Much. I'll make sure of it." Frankly, he was sort of looking forward to playing 'Kidnap Bella' in the coming hour. It could prove to be quite entertaining now that he thought about it.

"The suite does have a spare room, I take it?"

"Yes, I believe it does."

"Then leave it up to me." He looked to the gleaming stars outside for a minute, before looking back to the human. "Even if we do happen to frighten the girl a little, it will do no permanent harm. It will just be us, having our way." Aro smirked but left it at that.

Renata snorted (and bit her lip to rein in her amusement) and shook her head in mostly feigned disapproval. "Indeed. Just remember to not be too creepy about it, Master, and we're golden."

"Dear passengers, this is your captain speaking. We are currently flying over Riffe Lake and we have started descending from our cruising altitude of thirty-six thousand feet. We might be experiencing a light turbulence in a few minutes, so as a precaution, please fasten your seatbelts, and remain in your seats. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen."

Aro was not overly keen on believing the soothingly smooth voice of the pilot. Although it might be true, as there has been quite the increase of cumulonimbus clouds in the night sky as they gradually neared Seattle (at least that is what he could observe from the window on his right) and as the plane had started to lose speed and altitude, the combination could, indeed, create turbulence. Theoretically.

There was just this tiny little detail of something else he could very easily observe from his vantage point that had given the captain's statement the icy-sweet flavour of half-lies. Or rather, multiple somethings else.

It looked like Aro and Renata had not seen the last of the whistling tundra swans yet.

There were two flocks of swans flying in wedge formation, not too far from the plane. Aro could only deduce that there were many more flocks of birds on the horizon, steadily nearing the considerably larger engines of the commercial aircraft. He mused, that it would be marginally harder to damage both of the engines by the white unlucky harbingers of death, to the extent that the passengers' lives were seriously endangered, but a few hits to the engines might still be felt. And if in luck, excused as turbulence.

There was no real need to spread panic among the passengers, was there? Aro could appreciate the captain's subterfuge, this time.

Nevertheless, he leaned over the table and deftly secured the girl's seatbelt as she had not even stirred during the pilot's announcement.

"Well, Renata?"

She appeared to think for a second and a half.

"Three."

He smirked.

"Five." Aro replied.

A glint appeared in Renata's eyes. "You're on." And immediately after, a slight impact to the left engine could be felt.

"Only four more to go!" Aro exclaimed and rubbed his hands together in glee.

"Don't be so sure, old man." (Darling Renata had a mean competitive streak.) "When I win, I expect to be handed the keys for the whole drive to Forks."

"Without complaining." She then added.

"When you win… " He shook his head. "Which is not going to happen. When I win, you are going to collect a car from the company's headquarters. And hand me the keys."

Renata snorted. "Fair enough, I suppose."

"Then it is a deal."

As confident as his persona appeared to be over this bet, Aro really hoped that his guess will turn out to be the correct one. It was not exactly his sip from a vein, socialising with the employees of their company, especially after they had that light bulb moment, and realised who he was. The heightened gushing that eddied around him when he was inevitably recognised by the staff as (the owner) one of the major shareholders of the company was dearly unwelcomed. Well, combine his identity with his attractive features, eccentric attire, his accent, the fact that he was a rumoured billionaire, and despite his reputation as a recluse, the food, at least the segment of it that was not naturally inclined to be intimidated by these qualities of his, lost all sense of self preservation and tried to catch and retain his undivided attention.

It. was. exhausting. When the prey wanted a piece of him. Pieces. He'd much rather had Renata deal with this, and he knew that she did not awfully mind. Definitely not to the extent that he did.

Perhaps, it would be seen as too bold in the eyes of the denizens of the Vampire world, to have (his name) their name associated to such a famous international company, if its denizens had a clue that he was exactly that Mr Volturi and it was not purely a coincidence that the company's name was an acronym of those Volturi. Anyway. Practically no one paid attention to this, and his name was not very well known outside the company's staff as there were the Chief Officers that took the entire spotlight, usually. He did not know, but all evidence pointed to even Carlisle being blissfully unaware of the true ownership of their considerably successful legal side business. Even vampires needed to secure their capital somehow, and pay taxes to blend in.

Also, it helped that, for all intents and purposes, he could pass off as perfectly human (as long as no closer physical inspection of his person was attempted). As could his brothers. And his children. And Demetri. And most of the Guard. (All right, practically everyone from his coven, not Felix, he did not have the temperament, and his extraordinary physical composition tended to frighten humans far too easily and effectively).

Another two consecutive hits to both engines brought slight tremors to the plane for a few seconds.

Aro regarded a rigid, stone faced Renata and in a singsong voice stated the obvious facts-

"Three hits in the last five minutes, and we have", he looked to the clock above the exit, "approximately fifteen minutes until we reach Seattle."

Renata ground her teeth together, "Precisely. Anything could not happen in fifteen minutes."

Aro was sitting cross legged on the chaise lounge placed at the large windows overlooking Elliott Bay and The Seattle Great Wheel, with his back to the rest of the room, and nursed a glass of white wine.

To keep up pretences, he had changed into a more holiday themed attire which consisted of black skinny pencil trousers and a white soft cosy oversized cashmere sweater that had partially slipped down his right shoulder. And he had tied his straight, waist long dark midnight-blue hair up in a high ponytail. He had put thought and effort into trying to appear harmless, for the human.

It was 9:55 a.m. and Renata had left a couple of minutes ago to secure a vehicle for their use during the next part of their lovely Christmas escapade to clandestinely visit Carlisle (and the girl's father. After all, this might very well be the last chance she had to see him, before her inevitable, mysterious disappearance. Perhaps she will even be able to say goodbye and retain one more pleasant last memory of her short human life).

Renata out the door, he had proceeded to attack his ordered and the hotel staff delivered bottle of 1903 Chateau d'Yquem Bordeaux and had poured some in a large glass. She would no doubt be disappointed to see him substituting alcohol for blood.

Another thing that Renata had volunteered to obtain was a few sets of deep black coloured contact lenses for after his next meal. He was quite looking forward it.

But alas, it was not that simple.

For Renata had only brown ones for herself, carefully picked out to make her eyes look very interesting, but not black. And because the human had seen his black irises, he won't risk any undue suspicion falling on him- them before it was the right time. Not everything should be left to Fate. Unnecessarily risky and, truth be told, quite moronic. And he very rarely found himself navigating these extremes. Thus, if he planned on feeding while keeping company to the human, irritating contacts will have to be suffered through, at least for a little while.

The when his meal will take place and who it will be was still veiled in uncertain circumstances that could not be predicted (by him, and he really did not want to possess the pre-knowledge that little psychic Cullen wielded, and to be perfectly clear, this was not sarcasm, he definitely did not desire her gift for his collection. He felt it was too much like spitting at Fate's feet by arrogantly manipulating the more open for interpretation scenarios. It was not their place. For he truly believed that, when no one could beat Fate at His game, Aro did not think Fate to be overly fond of constant disturbances to the natural flow of Fated events. Who was she to decide that her interpretation was the correct one? For the right reasons? Which did not primarily serve selfish ends? That it was right for the persons involved. Or the ones who were caught in the ripple effect?).

In the room behind the wall on his right, Bella's alarm started ringing as it was 10:00 a.m. He could hear her grumpily twisting and turning within the sheets, her getting up from the bed. Yawning. Stretching. He could hear the human rummaging through her things, the soft patter of her feet on the carpeted floor, a door opening. The sound of the shower being started.

Well, he won't stoop so low as to snatch a human from the lovely Four Seasons hotel, that was just bad manners. They had been very polite and accommodating, professional, qualities he truly valued in others, even if it was food.

(Somewhere in the far back of his mind, in the abyss of his psyche he acknowledged that it was just a coping strategy, albeit a very successful one, this conditioning of humans – intelligent, fully sapient beings, which were not unlike his species in this regard. There had been true genius and wisdom beyond meagre few decades, or such emotional intelligence, which he had been privy to bear witness to because of his gift, found in some humans (something centuries old vampires had never and would, most likely, never learn in their extended stay on this plane of reality). It was a way of distancing himself from all the death he was destined to bring upon his prey (he had found that the truly brilliant ones were the hardest for him to extinguish, and if he could, he let them go, those few lucky ones being none the wiser (usually) of their brief brush with death). And it was a means of protecting the conscience he still retained, despite other's beliefs, for when he devalued the vast majority of humans to food, he could live more comfortably with his very nature and accept that this was his Fate (to become a vampire, a killer, a king), that he had been destined to live this life and so it was his prey's Fate to cross paths with him, and to have their lives ended by him.)

The shower had been turned off for the last few minutes and he became aware of the nearing of a distinct heartbeat.

Bella emerged from her room and yawned, and then she slowly blinked and started to look around the suite's living room.

"Buongiorno, Isabella!" Aro cheerfully greeted the bleary eyed girl. He let his eyes travel from her bare feet to the crown of her wet hair.

She had changed into white jeans and sea green batwing sweater. The colour suited her exceptionally well. Shelookedlovely.

"Aah!" Bella shouted and spun around.

Aro giggled.

"Aro... You almost scared me to death!" she exclaimed while pressing her left hand over her heart, no… that was not quite right… (over the right side of her chest) or was it?

Fortunate, that Renata was still to return from her mission. And did not hear him.

Then the human froze and stared at him. And stared. And stared some more. Was there something on his face? (There wasn't, he knew there wasn't.)

"I hope you had a pleasant night, dear." This seemed to shake her out of her staring fest and she quickly replied-

"Actually, I did. Surprisingly pleasant, after I hit the bed. The mattress is to die for. I think it has spoiled me for any bed for the next six months before I forget what it felt like." Bella said as she crossed the room.

"Well, love, I'm happy to hear that. Aren't you glad you decided to take us up on our offer to tag along to our hotel?" Aro asked in a saccharine tone. Then he gestured to the table between them where an American Breakfast had been ordered for Bella. "Please, help yourself to anything you want. Coffee? Or are you a tea person?"

"I did not take you up on it! You practically kidnapped me from the airport!" Bella accused but nevertheless sat down on the sofa at the other side of the glass table from Aro. She proceeded to pour herself a cup of steaming coffee and snatched a bowl of freshly cut figs from the table. Then she pulled her naked feet up on the sofa and tucked her knees under her chin.

"Semantics. You would have agreed eventually, ah-ah-aah!, don't try to deny it. I just sped the process up a little."

"Argh. You are infuriating sometimes, you do know that, right?" Bella took a deep breath of the aroma of her coffee and let out a happy sigh.

"Oh, I'm aware. My brother Caius loves to remind me every chance he can get away with. However, I'm not even half as infuriating as that conceited… pagliaccio is himself.

"He sounds positively charming."

Aro barked a laugh. "You say that now... His tantrums are infamous throughout the whole Castle!"

Bellas eyebrows shot upwards. "Castle? You live in a freaking castle?"

"It is just what we had started to call our family home in Volterra, and never really stopped. It became a part of our family vernacular. Think nothing of it, dear."

"... Okay." She quickly took in the rest of the room with her chocolate eyes. Her inspection stopped at the large windows. "The view is amazing."

"I find myself partial to it as well." he gave her a quick smile and took a small sip of his wine.

"Is Renata still asleep?"

"Oh, no. Actually, she's not here. I've taken the mantle of being your babysitter, for the time being, that is, until she comes back."

"Babysitter? You are not my babysitter, mister. Not that I need one, you asshole. You are my kidnapper." If only the Guard could hear her. Such audacity. He did not let anyone talk to him that way. Not since-

Aro rolled his eyes. "Don't be dramatic, dear."

Bella took a sip from her coffee cup. "Why did you do it?"

"Do what, sleepyhead? You have to be more precise." Aro smirked as Bella's face turned a bit scarlet. A side effect of her warm drink, no doubt.

"Kidnap me."

"Oh, that. You know why. It's much more convenient than meeting up later on. Even your stubborn logic cannot fault this. And besides, we had plenty room in this suite, as you can see, and we really don't mind. "

Aro knew he was sporting that smug expression that Caius always complained about and secretly wanted to punch every single time.

"Yeah. I'm starting to catch on." The human coughed a little and replied in a dry and a bit raspy tone.

"Anyway. Where did your niece go?"

"Renata lost a bet and had to go fetch a car for us from the company's Seattle headquarters."

"You guys own a company here?"

"Why yes. Do try to keep up, love. The coffee might help," he nodded to her steaming cup that strongly smelled of the coffee plant. Thank Fate they (vampires) found relatively untampered natural flavours appealing. He likened it to a human smelling freshly cut grass or flowers, for example, roses or apple blossoms,- they smelled divine, but were not edible. The human brain did not register them as potential food sources.

Bella glared at him but took a long swallow from her cup, her eyes narrowed in challenge. The girl was something else. No one from his family would dare do such a thing in his presence, or to him, not since Sulpicia-

"Do I know it? Your company."

Aro seriously considered lying. Not many knew of his association to the company as a major shareholder. But... Bella was soon to become one of His. There was no harm in it really...

"Hmm. I would hope so. Valerian Incorporated. I'm confident you've heard of it. It is one of the five leading companies in medical and bio-tech research in the world...the headquarters here are just around the corner, at Rainier Square, if I'm not mistaken. Renata should be back soon-"

"You guys own Valerian Inc.!?" The girl seemed truly shocked.

"Our family does, yes. But I'm one of the main shareholders."

Bella focused on a point behind his right shoulder, the Ferris wheel, most likely. "What was it called... Valerian Occidental Laboratories," she looked him in the eyes for a moment and added, "…and Technologies," she paused for five seconds, as if recalling a long lost memory, "...for Um. Umbra? Yeah, Umbra Research Incorporated?"

The girl had left him momentarily speechless. Again. Everyone just called it Valerian Inc. Everywhere. As the full name was quite the mouthful.

"…Exactly. I'm pleasantly surprised. Not many bother to learn much less remember the full name..."

The girl was muttering something under her breath but soon enough her eyes fell on him again. "V.O.L.T.U.R.I. for short. How come I've never thought about it this way before? "

No one was supposed to think about it this way, that's why. It was their vanity and arrogance of the highest order that was at play here. They just could not help themselves. Valerian Occidental Laboratories and Technologies for Umbra Research Incorporated. Marcus had been against it, of course, always the level headed one, but Caius and Aro would not hear anything against the use of their name as an acronym for their legal business. It had been such a funtastical time in the throne room when Aro and Caius had come up with the name. One that sounded somewhat acceptable (they thought it had a nice ring to it; so did Alec and Jane, and Athenodora). And nothing like Marcus' sarcastic suggestion of "the Vampire Over-Lord's Treacherous and Unholy Research Industries".

"I can't believe you own Valerian Inc. And I know the full name because I had considered applying for an internship there."

"Oh?"

"Mmhm. Ever since I was diagnosed with Situs Inversus when I was four years old. The hospital asked my parents if they and I would be willing to come in from time to time to participate in a bit of a training exercise for the resident doctors there. They had to tell what was 'wrong'", here she used her index and middle fingers to form quotation marks, "with me. The last time I went was when I was fifteen. And there was this ridiculously smart guy from Valerian Labs. He figured me out in under a minute. Then, we got talking- … Andyoudon'tneedtohearthis." The girl seemed a bit flustered and had her eyes glued on the croissant that had appeared in her hand which she promptly bit into and started to slowly chew the bite, while determinedly not looking at him.

"Fascinating." He had had an inkling that there was something fishy going on, judging from her reaction, when he had scared her earlier. "The condition's so rare. Are you all right? Have you any negative side effects? Complications?"

"Oh no, thank God. Nothing like that. It's a completely reversed case. I was very lucky."

"Well. I, for one, am glad you are all right, Isabella."

"Thanks." She popped a quarter of a fig in her mouth and chewed. It's been a while since he'd last seen a human eat. It was quite interesting (from a scientific perspective) how many times they chewed their food before swallowing. And the fact that they had to chew anything. Suddenly, he was overcome with a deeply frightening thought that he had forgotten how to do it. Vampires did not chew their food (and again, he was not including those sorry excuses for vampires that had unhealthy food related fetishes and liked to eat their dinner, in the most literal sense of the word. Aro suppressed a shudder). They drank it, the blood, bit off pieces of other vampires or werewolves when necessary, bit humans to feed on them or to turn them, but chewing?

And now he was curious. He'll have to test this. Suddenly the human food on the table had gained an interesting edge to it. Soon. Perhaps-

"Anyway... What was the bet Renata lost to you?"

"You lying liar who lies." Darling Renata had returned. Marvellous! And she looked livid.

How adorable!

"Am not." Renata was a sour loser; it was one of her lesser known traits. However, he spent so much time with her... Who was he trying to fool, he'd read her unconscious mind countless times as was par for the course. He simply knew her. In and out. The very best and the truly worst (not that there was much of the latter. Renata was a sweet and kind soul and he was blessed by Fate to call her his companion).

"Good morning, Bella." Renata gave the girl a sweet smile and came to sit beside him on the lounge. "And yes, he is. A liar. I did not lose. We drew a draw. You lost as much as I did, Uncle Aro." Bella's eyes jumped from Aro to Renata and back.

"Sooo. If you had to go get the car, what did Aro lose?"

Here Renata's face bloomed in a breathtakingly gleeful expression, if the catching of Bella's breath was any indication.

"He lost the keys." His darling sang and her eyes danced with mirth. Now the human was snickering as she took another sip of her drink.

"You are simply incorrigible, dear." Aro fondly muttered.

"And you are riding shotgun."

Aro took a sip from the wine glass. Renata looked alarmed for a brief moment before her expression shifted to the expected disapproval. Bella just seemed generally surprised he was drinking at 10:30 in the morning, but accepting, likely attributing it to his quirky personality.

"Isn't it too early to start drinking, Uncle Aro?"

"You think so? I decided to indulge a little. They had one from 1903, after all."

"Ma- "

"-Besides, I'm not the one who will be driving, remember?" Aro easily cut her off and smirked.

Renata huffed but did not say anything more on the subject. Then she proceeded to pull a little blue rectangle box from her purse and handed it to him. "Here. Black. Just as you asked."

"Thank you, darling. You are a lifesaver." The Irony.

Aro could not believe his eyes. An unusual occurrence. Of all the things he did not expect to be unpleasantly surprised by -

"Is this a fu joke?" Aro was sure his voice had regained some of the authority that he utilised daily when dealing with vampire affairs. "Renata. Is this a joke."

"Ma-. I'm sorry. I know what you are probably thinking, but I had nothing to do with this. They only had Bordeaux ones available."

They had arrived at their car in the hotel's underground parking space. Aro had had almost fully approached the dark red vehicle when he had spotted the car's licence plate number.

"I am not talking about the bloody colour, ragazza," he said in a deadly calm voice. "Explain. Now."

"Ma- Aro. I'm truly sorry." This time, she did sound properly apologetic, no pretence left. "So sorry. It was the only one they still had on site. With Christmas being just around the corner, all the other ones had been priorly reserved and already taken."

"666-MRV, Renata."

"Lo so. I think someone from the family is responsible, though. Not the people at this branch." Renata squeezed his wrist after making sure she was welcome to do it, and his world turned into a vortex of colour and sound at the back of his mind. It helped a tiny bit that she was actively bringing up the memory of her getting the car.

Renata going at a human pace, her deadly heels clicking on the white marble floor, the receptionist greeting her, Good morning Miss!, clearly attracted to her, kept blushing and tumbling over their words, smiling and looking as if dazed by her, Hello… employee name tag… Alex. I'm Renata Volturi, Renata flashing an unnecessary ID, Merry Christmas Alex! I need to take a company car, Ma'am there's only one left, the human slowly losing their besotted expression, is there a problem Alex?, no of course not, no one uses it really, what's wrong with it then?, n-noting, it's this year's Maserati Quattroporte, what's wrong with it? it's in pristine condition Ma'am, what's wrong with it?, what's wrong with it?, the human reluctantly showing Renata the registry of the Seattle HQ vehicles, 785-HEA, 811-PMT, GXQ7727, 643-YBI, CMW4212, TCH1154, 167-FXL, 178-ACS, AJHF993, 878-LLY, 666-MRV, we don't know who's idea it was, 666-MRV, Merde!, silver fountain pen broken in half by Renata, fucking assholes, It's okay Alex, she's going to kill them, I'm very sorry Ms Volturi, It's okay Alex, here's the keys Ma'am, Thank you Alex, you're very welcome Ms Volturi, have a lovely day Alex, Merry Christmas Ms Volturi, Renata taking the car keys, clicking of heels

He looked in Renata's eyes and nodded. He'll deal with it when they got home.

Bella whistled.

"Oh… my God. How many times are we going to get pulled over?"

"If Fate will have it, none. It seems that someone from our family decided to play a prank on me, or on one of my brothers."

"It's not that bad, Uncle-" Was this their Guard's idea of keeping a low profile? Of all the foolish, idiotic things-

"Rest assured, darling, the guilty party or parties, will be found out and punished accordingly."

"No presents under the Christmas tree for being bad, huh?" Bella made a week guess, trying to lighten the suddenly plummeted mood.

"Perhaps." Aro gave her a small, tight smile and took Bella's suitcase, before she could protest and his own and headed for the trunk, Renata doing the same. "Well, dears, we better hop in. No need for Carlisle to unknowingly wait longer than necessary."

"I'm still driving."

"Of course, darling. I wouldn't go back on my word, surely not because of a juvenile prank like this."

Heads, however, are going to roll.

"What was your bet about? You never said." Bella asked when she had settled in the middle of the back seat and had put the seatbelt on.

"The number of birds that will strike the plane's engines. We were quite bored, you see." Aro nonchalantly informed Bella.

"Aro said five, my guess was three." Renata said as she slowly rolled the car out of the parking space.

"What…"

"Turns out the right answer was four."

"Ohmygod…"

"Don't be alarmed, Isabella, no one was harmed, except for the few unlucky swans, of course." Aro teased and turned just in time to see Bella's shocked face.

"You'll have to forgive my uncle, Bella. Sometimes he just cannot help scaring people. By now, he has it down to an art." She looked through the rear view mirror to Bella and winked.

"Oh. My. God! I can't believe I slept through all that! You should have woken me up! Fuck, I can't believe I missed it!"

Aro met Renata's eyes and saw they shared the same bewilderment.

"… You are… full of surprises, dear. But then... all the best people are."

Notes:

Buongiorno, Isabella! (Italian) - Good morning, Isabella!

pagliaccio (Italian) - clown

ragazza (Italian) - girl

Lo so. (Italian) - I know.

Merde! (French) – Fuck!

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Thank you for reading. And reviewing!

This story is almost finished. However, I need to go over the chapters and edit them a bit before I post them here. It might take a while. (This story is crossposted on Ao3 (I go by 'thepinkpanther' there), if you do not want to wait until I upload all the chapters here. ;)