XXXII
Jane didn't believe in hell and never had. The idea of a place meant to torture unhappy souls forever and ever amen, was repugnant to her, and not just because she didn't necessarily believe in the existence of an ultimate evil that would require such punishment. For that matter, heaven was equally alien. Who would ever be good enough for an eternity of joy, either? Recent events had changed the way she thought about those two concepts—particularly evil, after spending time in Odin's court—but she was still certain that no one deserved an unending world of torture and despair, no matter what they might have done in life. Not that she didn't respect the religious scientists she knew, she just always wondered how they could reconcile their imperfect knowledge of the universe with their certain views on the human soul and what it deserved simply for making its way through the chaos of their sad, broken world.
When it came to conceiving an afterlife, she was always more comforted by the laws of thermodynamics, particularly the first, which stated that no matter could be either created or destroyed. From stardust and grass, smoke and stone she had come, and to all those things and more she would return. No one's atoms really disappeared; they went on to become part of everything, dissipated into the natural world, in harmony and balance. Compared to the concept of Christian heaven, or even Buddhist reincarnation, Jane couldn't imagine anything more comforting than to know that after all her strife and despair, all her joys and pleasures, that she would become the smallest part in any number of different organisms or creatures who would go on to live beautiful, imperfect, wild lives.
But if there was a hell somewhere out there, she imagined now that it looked like Muspelheim.
The whole planet heaved under her feet, like she was standing on the deck of a ship on a stormy sea, but instead of the cool embrace of water waiting if she were to lose her balance, here there was nothing but glowing red pools of magma, their surfaces shimmering heat into the smoke-choked air. Razor-sharp fragments of rock spiked up through the planet's surface, cracking like dry, old bones when the near-constant earthquakes shattered their brittle spars, sending them raining down into crevasses, only to be swallowed, churned in Muspelheim's restless gut, and spat out to the surface again. Nothing grew, nothing could grow on that blasted surface, not only because it was ever-changing, but because the air itself was so noxious it would have poisoned anything that dared try.
Add to all this was the noise. Grinding rock, slow-pulsing lava, and wheezing gasps of toxic steam combined to make the heavy atmosphere ring with blood-curdling, shrieking echoes that rose and fell in an unpredictable rhythm. If Jane closed her eyes, she could imagine that, deep in those lava pools, was a host of condemned people, groaning and crying out in remorse for whatever sins had condemned them to this hellish world. Her skin prickled, her brow ran with cold sweat, and for a dizzying moment, Jane wondered what she herself had done to find herself here.
Loki seemed not at all affected, leaping lightly over the rocks to stare down into the valley below, but Jane was hardly comforted; she could see how hard his magical shield was working to repel the constant hail of sharp pebbles and fogs of poison gas that made up Muspelheim's atmosphere. But if he was used to it, she had to assume there was nothing out of the ordinary about the seething landscape before them, and tried to block out the eerie sounds and unsettling sights. It wasn't hell, she reminded herself firmly. It was just nature—fascinating, volatile nature—and nature wasn't malevolent. It was only that she was used to seeing nature at a telescope's distance; there were so many scientists who would gladly risk death to be where she was. In their honor then, she'd be brave.
"Surtr is prompt as ever," Loki called over his shoulder. Jane huffed and panted up to his high ground, where he was pointing. Down below, she could at first see nothing but a heaping cluster of rocks rolling slowly over the plain, plowing uninterrupted over magma and obsidian alike, its harsh outline illuminated by occasional brilliant bursts of reddish light. It was only after a moment of staring that she realized the motion of those rocks was too linear and purposeful to be driven by the planet's uncertain tectonics. That wasn't a boulder, it was a…person? Giant?
"That's Surtr?"
"Guardian of Muspelheim himself," Loki replied, "I knew he would notice us as soon as we arrived. There is little he does not know when it comes to his world. Here," he extended a hand to her, which she took without a thought. Having something familiar to hold onto in the ever-changing landscape was a relief. "We will go down to meet him."
Loki leapt off the cliff-face, Jane's feet dragging unwillingly behind, but she didn't have a moment to gasp before they were drifting through Muspelheim's heavy air. Was gravity that much less here, or was the atmosphere so thick, or was Loki's magic supporting them? She had no idea. All she knew was that they seemed to float, Loki's arm clasped firmly around her, through the hot darkness until their feet gently lighted on the wide, flat plain over which Surtr's figure was steadily approaching. From this angle, he seemed less a pile of stones Jane could scale to get a better look at something; he seemed a mountain, craggy and forbidding, his joints cracking at each motion to reveal a hot core of molten rock inside.
From Laufey and Jotunheim to Surtr and Muspelheim, Jane couldn't imagine two greater contrasts in the universe. She wasn't a poet and could quote very little from her hazy memories of high school, but as they walked over bubbles of obsidian and scrambled through crumbling piles of shale towards their new host, she couldn't help thinking of Robert Frost, and Fire and Ice. Both of these forces could end any life, Laufey's ice and Surtr's fire. Which would she prefer?
It was a morbid question, one she tried to shove from her mind. At least this time she had the Aether to protect her. It was certainly not nothing, and though terror gripped her in a strong, tight fist, she could still breathe, and function, and walk.
Surtr drew within a dozen yards of them and stopped, his body wheezing smoke, ever in flux. What passed for his skin roiled in slow, hypnotic motions of lava flowing over a field. His eyes were two skylights, showing through to the burning core of him, and when he opened his mouth to speak, the wave of heat that rolled over them smelled of sulfur and acid.
"Odinson," he spoke like a grumbling landslide, harsh and grating. It took Jane a moment to catch his odd intonation; none of his words seemed to have quite a human emphasis. "Once more you return. We have nothing to discuss unless the time for our attack is at hand."
"Which is why I am here," Loki replied smoothly, "That time has come. I have returned to tell you we have allies and power, enough to see Odin deposed from his throne and a more just rule instituted throughout Yggdrasil. My rule."
Surtr grumbled, and his body swelled. "I admit you would be a better king of Asgard than your father," a bubble of lava popped on his chest, flowing down until it merged with Muspelheim's surface. Surtr didn't seem to notice he'd been rooted to the spot; after a moment, the lava faded into a deep maroon scar. "That is as far as my confidence goes. After we are done, none of you or your kind are to set foot on Muspelheim, or extract any tithes from us. We are understood?"
"Indeed."
"Then prove to me you have the power to overthrow Odin."
"You do not see it already? Here stands a mortal whose skin should be blistering from her bones. You sense my magic; you know it is not I who keeps her alive."
"This means nothing," Surtr's eyes, brilliant and fathomless, fixed on Jane. She swallowed; without pupils, it was impossible to tell where he was looking, and returning his gaze threatened to burn out her retinas. "She might be a witch herself."
"No mortal witch has ever held this power. She carries Reality within her."
Surtr's skin seethed. "Does she?" he grumbled.
His arm flashed so quickly Jane didn't even register the motion. Well, she didn't, but the Aether did. It took in the flaming boulder Surtr heaved at her face, the panic in Loki's eyes as he gestured a spell she knew would come too late, and acted. Perhaps it was because Jane had been thinking fondly of Jotunheim's endless ice, but without a conscious thought, the rock exploded into a gentle poof of fat, white snowflakes. They hovered in the air for an instant, kissing Jane's skin with soft, cool caresses, and then they were gone, hissing into steam in Muspelheim's burning air.
Loki's spell flashed an instant after it was over. He rounded furiously, stepping between Jane—whose heart was belatedly racing after the death the Aether had narrowly kept her from—and Surtr, who drew a flaming sword nearly twice Loki's height from a gash in his side. The heat of it could have boiled any moisture from Jane's skin; even behind the Aether's shield, she felt herself withering.
"That was unnecessary," Loki snarled, "She could have proved her claim in any number of ways."
"None so certain as that," Surtr drew his sword close, watching intently as it hummed against Loki's shield, "You have lied to me in the past, Odinson. Think you that those lies are without consequence? She might bear them or you, I care not. I only care that you speak the truth. Now I know you do."
"It's," Jane broke in, faintly, "It's all right. Everything's okay."
Loki was having none of it. "Do that again," his voice dropped low, hissing like a serpent's, "and all your Realm is forfeit. I will unleash powers Odin never dared and raze your world into dust."
Surtr laughed, the sound like a millstone grinding round and round. "Odin has left nothing untried to conquer us! And still we stand. You are many things, Prince, but you are not your father. Which is why I would see you on his throne."
The insult shimmered between them, and Jane silently prayed—though no god she knew had power enough to stop Loki from doing what he wished—that he had the good sense not to rise to the bait.
A tense moment passed, and then it was over.
Loki scoffed. "You would do well to be grateful that this woman is not the vengeful sort. I will leave all questions of revenge to her, though should she ask it of me, I will carry out my threat, cost what it may. Now, has she convinced you, or must she demonstrate her powers in a more…personal way?"
"No further demonstration is needed. Forgive me, mortal," though there was no hint of apology in Surtr's voice, "you travel with Yggdrasil's greatest liar. I had to be sure of you."
"It's," okay stuck on her tongue. No, it wasn't okay! Why did she have to sweep her feelings under the rug every time someone bigger and stronger decided to flex their muscles and threaten her? If she didn't have the Aether just then, Surtr would have killed her. After everything she'd been through, she would have been smashed to pieces on this world, and her bones would have been chewed up for extra carbon in minutes.
She was as strong as they were now, and just as dangerous. Jane wasn't in the habit of threatening anyone, but she tightened her jaw, stood as tall as she could, and said, "Don't do it again."
She meant it. She could turn Surtr into a pillar of ice if she wanted, faster than he could raise his sword against her, and something in her face must have told him so.
He sensed her sincerity. "Very well. We understand each other. Come, we will consult with the leader of my forces to arrange the details of our attack on Asgard."
Surtr didn't turn so much as he reversed course, his facial features melting through his head to manifest in the opposite direction. The ground underneath him rumbled at each footstep—though he had no defined feet or legs that she could see—and moved quickly away over the field. Jane took a moment to breathe, swiping a shaky hand over her face.
"May I?"
She nodded, allowing Loki to gently lift her chin as his worried eyes scanned her for any sign of damage. He found none, settling only for brushing away whatever dew from the snowflakes remained. His fingers were soft, and careful.
"Is everyone in the universe so angry?" she sighed. "Laufey, Surtr, Odin? Don't they think twice before killing anyone?"
"Midgard is the softest of all Realms," Loki replied, finger lingering just below her lip. Jane stepped back, and his hands dropped. "The rest of us have not had as much leisure for trust and brotherhood as you have. Many Realms have been at war longer than humanity as a species has existed. You can imagine what so many millennia of conflict does to people."
"Earth isn't free of conflict," she said, "but even in the worst places, it'd be hard to find someone who would kill you as soon as they'd look at you. But I guess it's a self-perpetuating system, then. Everyone calls you a liar, but if you don't have any choice other than to be one—if that's how you stay alive—you have to keep lying. Even if you don't want to."
"Careful, Jane. One might suspect you of being sympathetic to me."
He was joking, but he wasn't. And she was completely serious. Of all the things she'd considered about Loki, the fact that his lies were as much a defense mechanism as they were a weapon was something that had never occurred to her. Suddenly Jane was forcibly aware of the pressure Loki must have been under, both implicit and explicit, all his life. A child of another father, he would have had to feign loyalty to Odin, because otherwise Odin would have had him killed. Same too his loyalty to his siblings, and his devotion to Odin's genocidal plans, however abhorrent they might have been to him. Despite his clear disgust for it all, his lies were his first line of defense, and perhaps the only reason he'd survived his childhood. Jane had seen firsthand how Thor felt free to treat him, the instant his lip service faltered.
And though she could never quite forgive him for all he'd put her and her planet through…perhaps that pressure was an understandable reason for it, though it could never be an excuse. Perhaps it was another mark in his favor that other races in the universe were willing to trust him too, even if they tested him ruthlessly in the process. The Ice and Fire Giants were on his side, after a fashion, when they would never be on Odin's. Wasn't that a sign of how he kept his promises?
"Are you able to walk?" Loki asked, studying her intently.
"Yes," she said. Thankfully the ground was a bit more stable here, so when she took her first steps after Surtr she didn't wobble like a newborn foal. Her voice did, though. "Do you think Surtr will keep his word?"
"Yes. He has wanted revenge against Asgard for many years, and after your demonstration, he knows better than to risk an open fight against you. The power to manipulate Reality is nigh impossible to withstand."
How well she knew it. He hadn't been able to, that was for sure.
Guilt sat hot in her stomach, as though she'd swallowed coals. Try as she might to stifle their flame, they only burned hotter. Jane might hate Loki for all he'd done and was doing to her, but was she doing any better? Wasn't she supposed to be better, did she have any obligation to be? The answer to all her questions, she knew, was no, but that didn't help. If Loki had no choice about lying and playing dirty, then she certainly didn't.
They kept their silence, trudging over the uneven terrain Surtr left in his wake, each one preoccupied by their own thoughts, until they reached a rough, circular stand of towering stones, an arrangement that resembled nothing so much as Stonehenge. Except for the rolling ground, the blackened sky, the poisonous air, and the fact that each of the stones slowly moved and stretched as they approached—for of course they were not stones but Fire Giants—Jane might have believed herself on Earth.
That is to say, she couldn't believe it at all.
Once everyone's face had drizzled back on, a process that took several minutes, Surtr spoke to the assorted group.
"Odinson returns, in possession of an alliance and a power. An Infinity Stone."
The odd cadence in his voice was back, and suddenly Jane realized why her ears had such a hard time with his English. Of course, he wasn't speaking English and never had been. Since her ears and brain assumed they could only understand one language, the Aether was translating for her. Now that she was watching carefully, Jane could distinguish between the sounds coming out of Surtr's mouth and the words she actually heard, the delay between them coming from the tiniest amount of lag between him and the Aether.
If she tried, could she just understand his own language, without the need for interpretation?
I know what they're saying, she told herself, disbelieving. No. She couldn't doubt; she had to make it true. She had to know it to be true.
I know what they're saying. I know it. I've always known this language.
And then she did.
It took a moment to catch up to where Surtr's speech had gone. He'd told them what Stone she carried, riding out a tumble of surprise and interest at the declaration, and had explained how he'd tested her. So far so good.
"Whom we will fight alongside when we topple that slag from his throne?"
It took no interpretation to realize the 'slag' was Odin.
"Though their might pales in comparison with your radiance," Loki put in, sarcastically gracious as was his typical way when dealing with powers that outstripped his own, "the Frost Giants have agreed to join us. Their quarrel with Odin is as long-standing as yours, and they have already benefitted from our alliance. I have freed and returned their Realm's power to them."
"You gave them the Casket?" Surtr hissed like a gasket at the thought of its ice. "With that returned to them, they might return to their conflict with us. You thought we would hail this as glad tidings?"
"They will not. The Jotuns have agreed it will be best for all to abandon all ancient grudges between our peoples. In any case, the fires of Muspelheim are stronger by far than the ice of Jotunheim."
"So it might have been, but for your new ally," it took Jane a second to realize she was now the focus of their discussion. "On which side of our quarrel does she fall?"
"On neither side," Jane spoke using their language, its rough tones and harsh syllables strange in her throat. Her diaphragm was doing a lot more heavy lifting than it usually did. "I stand for my Realm, which is Midgard. So long as neither of you fight with us, we will not fight with you."
"Midgard," one of the Giants spat a burning glob of molten rock where it sizzled at her feet. "Even with an Infinity Stone, how should we fear Midgard?"
"I don't want anyone to fear us," she said, "I just want you to leave us alone. Do that for us, and I swear no one will use the Reality Stone against you."
"What guarantee will you give us, that we may know your honesty?" Surtr silenced his comrades with a wave of his sword.
Jane shrugged, sighing helplessly. Diplomacy was not her forte, and she was coming to the negotiating table with nothing to trade. "What can I give you besides my word?"
Surtr looked around, and a grumble passed through the ground beneath them, growing and waning in intensity. Beside her, Loki tensed.
"If you are speaking," he said, raising one hand, "I ask that you do it in a language we all understand."
"Yes," Surtr answered, and the red-hot slice of his mouth moved oddly. "Yes. There is one thing your woman may give us, that we may be assured of her alliance with you and us."
"And that is?"
"Her Power."
All the Giants moved as one, some diving over Jane and others sinking into the ground. With a crash like vault doors closing, the earth opened beneath her and swallowed her down, dragging her into dirt and heat like an irresistible tsunami washing a bit of trash out to sea. Jane wasn't hurt, but she had no time to feel that; terror shrieked in her ears as everything around her changed. They were pulling her inexorably down, down into the heart of Muspelheim, and no matter the power of the Aether, surely the core of a planet would be enough to tear it from her?
Panic made it impossible to breathe, impossible to see. She was crushed and trapped and rolling end-over-end and she couldn't think couldn't see couldn't couldn't couldn't—
The instant her fear took over, it became reality. She thought she couldn't breathe, and air evaporated from her lungs. She knew she would soon be crushed by the sheer weight of stone pressing against her, and her bones groaned, bowing under the weight. She couldn't resist the heat enveloping her on all sides, and her skin started to blister and peel.
Death held out its hand, and Jane had no choice but to reach back for it, because this was the end of it all, her whole story, until—
"Jane," Loki's voice was impossibly in her ear and his hands were around her tight. Cool air rushed back into her lungs and a sensation as soothing as aloe coated her skin. He was holding them both in a protective field, its edges brilliantly emerald, so thin and sharp that they cut into Jane's eyes. "You must lend me your power."
"I—" what power, what power, how could she possibly stand against this? They were both going to die, then, sucked into a planet's heart, together in death as they would never be in life. "I can't."
"What you believe is real," he cried as his magic faltered, "the good and the bad. You believe I cannot keep you safe? Then my spells will fail. Do you believe in me, Jane? In us?"
She whimpered. That was the crux of it all, wasn't it? And now, pressed to the utmost limit, one heartbeat between them both and absolute annihilation, Jane was able to see the truth that lay in the hindmost recesses of her heart.
"Yes!" she cried, turning in his arms to clasp him as he was holding her, so tight she wasn't sure they'd ever unwind from each other, "Yes, I believe in you!"
And it was real.
And with her power infusing his with all it would ever need, Loki opened a portal into which they fell off of Muspelheim.
Note: Hey everyone, I know I really don't have the right to ask you for feedback (what with my terrible update schedule and regularly leaving you hanging - believe me, I'm ashamed) but if you're reading still, it'd make me so happy to know it! I'm trying to finish this beast by the end of the year, and your encouragement will definitely help me get over the line. These chapters are plot-heavy and action-packed, two things that are tough for me to write, but I really liked how this one came out and I hope you do too!
Looking forward to hearing from y'all, and see you next time. :)