Chapter 60, everybody! Did I not tell you we'd have more updates soon? We've got chapter updates until the fight with Sabrina, which means we've got an update for about every week left in the year. Happy holidays, my dudes.
Granted, I really wish I had this done at least a month earlier so we could get Lavender Town vibes during Halloween, but October was unseasonably warm here (so is November thus far—no complaints) so maybe it's for the best.
As some of you might have guessed, The Distortion Zone is the Pokémon equivalent of The Twilight Zone (narrated by Rod Starly). We're also referencing a few creepypastas here and examining the logistics of living next to a high concentration of Ghost Pokémon. And here's a question: is it a creepypasta or an urban legend when you live in the universe it takes place in?
For those who wonder: desire paths are basically paths of least resistance, which doesn't necessarily mean the straightest line. Basically it's going around obstacles in the path and cutting across open spaces where they are, which is why Boston is laid out radically different from Austin. Once you get over the Mississippi River, the format switches to a grid path for ease of access, surveying, and land parceling (ask me nice and I'll tell you about how weirdly divvied up land in Texas is), which is why no one likes driving in major eastern cities. Mochi is a rice cake, meanwhile—and also a cat in Big Hero 6, but here we're talking about the rice cake. Also, 1408 is a movie based on the short story by Stephen King—if you want an idea of why it was haunted, add the numbers up and then recall that there is no thirteenth floor in the United States (except in the Tower of Terror ride at Disney World, but that's on purpose there). Perish Song is based on the Final Destination franchise—felt it was appropriate since 'mons who hear Perish Song faint in three turns. Also if anyone has better Pokémon to fit the roles of Siskel and Ebert, let me know.
LongNightDragon, Chryssal, Kayuri Igrimakeon Pax, forward-smash, Dragonkeeper10, Battlesny, talesfanjmf, Johnny Spectre (true), Cyan Quartz, Vilkath, and Guest, thanks for the reviews! Hope to continue to please! :D
Also, Battlesny, thank you for the reviews! To answer your questions, we're starting with the anime and going to the games, since Ash doesn't exactly exist in the games universe. And considering in real life multiple animals have breeding seasons that overlap and overlap in the Spring, yes.
Also, Vilkath, thanks for the reviews! I usually try to keep the chapters short because I read that that's what's easily digested online (a study by Marvel suggested that 2-3 pages was the optimum online reading length to allow people to check it out during short downtimes, like bus or train rides to and from work). The AN does get better though, I promise. I do know there's some adaptation of the Indigo League—I think it was a novel that never got translated to English—where trainers are declared legal adults at ten, which makes it kind of questionable considering how mature ten-year-olds are. :\ And yeah, a status battle does look kind of odd from an audience perspective.
Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo
And now, for something completely different:
In other news, the newly built radio tower in Lavender Town is still the subject of multiple complaints. While protests centering on preserving the historical silhouette of the town has died down somewhat, reports of people with varying degrees of headaches have increased. There is also an increase in depression in those listening to radio shows broadcast using the tower, and increased reports of radios turning on by themselves. No correlation has been drawn yet.
Despite Ash's protests, they stayed at the Pokémon Center overnight and didn't leave for Lavender Town until early the next morning, which was as much of a concession Brock and Misty were willing to give.
"I am not going into ghost country in the middle of the night," Misty said flatly. "It's bad enough we're going, period. I refuse to make the stupid decisions people in horror movies make."
"But that's how you run into ghosts," Ash protested.
"The answer is no, Ash."
But the next morning saw a lot of fog rolling up from Route 12, obscuring the view and making it suitably spooky.
"Oh man, we could stumble right upon a ghost and never realize it," Ash said, practically jittering with excitement.
"Don't sound so excited about that," Misty said, rubbing her arms as she looked around.
"The fog will probably burn off around noon," Brock said. "We should see the Pokémon Tower before anything else."
"Don't ruin my glee, Brock," Ash protested.
"We should see the Pokémon Tower looming out of the fog before it dissipates."
"Much better."
They did.
"All right! We made it!" Ash cheered, jumping up and down upon spotting the sign. "That's Lavender Town up ahead!"
"'There's your roadmark straight ahead,'" Brock said as he and Misty passed the sign in more sedate fashion. "'You are now entering The Distortion Zone.'"
"Brock," Misty sighed. "This is going to suck enough without you doing that."
"Just setting the mood."
"Consider it set," she said, as they caught up with Ash, standing in a town square and looking around at his usual hyper speed.
"So where's the tree with all the skulls at?" Ash asked, once they were even with him.
"Do what?" Misty asked blankly.
"Oh dear, you heard that one," Brock sighed, scratching his face.
"Yeah—there's supposed to be a big tree with a bunch of skulls on it."
Misty looked at Brock for clarification.
"It's a scary story," Brock explained. "I've been having to sweep my siblings' rooms of the books involved because it scares them, but they still hear about it in the schoolyard."
"I'm going to tell you what I told Brock," Misty said to Ash. "This is going to suck enough without you trying to make it scarier."
"But there should be something, I would have thought," Ash protested.
"There's your problem right there."
"Guys, chill," Brock said. "Lavender Town is just a town, like any other town in Kanto."
"Just stuck straight in the Distortion Zone," Ash said.
"I was going to say just with the largest graveyard in Kanto, but yeah."
"Yeah," Misty said. "I give this place five minutes before I leave and never come back."
Misty did not in fact leave within five minutes, but Brock wouldn't let Ash go with his first instinct and run straight to the Pokémon Tower visibly looming over the rest of the town.
"I'd much rather get rested up first," Brock insisted, dragging Ash down the street by his collar.
"But I want to get set up at Lavender Tower!" Ash protested. "We have to scope out the best spot to find a ghost!"
"I think you'll be wanting to be rested up first—otherwise you'll sleep through them all."
"I'm actually voting for getting this done and over with as soon as possible," Misty said, rubbing her arms as she glanced around. "This place gives me the creeps, and it shouldn't give me the creeps, because the actual town looks normal. You know, except for all those tags tacked on the doors and windows."
Brock looked over at the nearest building. "Those are spell tags—they're supposed to keep the ghosts out."
Ash looked down at Misty's shadow. "And I think I know why you're getting the creeps."
"Oh don't tell me," Misty moaned, eyes shut tight and jaw clenched. "I've got a Gengar in my shadow."
"If I said yes, would it make you feel better?"
"No."
"Oh. Well, the good news is, it isn't a Gengar."
Misty looked down at her shadow—it was dark and not very big, since it was only a little after noon right now, but it was enough to show that it had wisps wicking off the head and shoulders.
And then it waved.
"YIIEEE!" Misty yelped, jumping up on Brock's back and knocking him and Ash both down.
"Tourists," a couple of ladies muttered, taking their groceries home.
"Fff-nya," a Meowth sniffed, trailing behind them with its tail up in the air.
"Well excuse me for breathing," Misty muttered, extricating herself from the tangle of kids. "And you!" she added, pointing at where her shadow had been. "Stop that!"
"Stop what?" Darkrai asked before chuckling, voice sounding tinny—Ash always wondered if talking through a shadow was like talking on a phone.
"This is going to be bad enough without you making it worse," she spat.
"Fine, dampen my glee."
"And at least this way you won't get a Gengar in your shadow," Ash pointed out. "Since it's already occupied."
Unsurprisingly, this didn't make Misty feel better.
It took a little hunting after lunch to find a hotel room. Not because there were no rooms available, but because there was only one hotel in the whole town, and it was closer to the western road out of the town as opposed to the center.
"Who lays out a town like this?" Misty asked, gesturing.
"This is what happens when you build a town up out of desire paths over a grid," Brock informed her.
"After this can we go to the tower?" Ash asked.
"No. We make sure we're well-rested, scope out the area, and then we check out the tower. During the day."
Ash, of course, protested this, didn't protest dinner, which was eaten at a restaurant that was well aware of Lavender Town's reputation and leaned into it hard. But hopefully the Gastly mochi wouldn't be their only sighting.
Once they were back in their room and settled in Ash tried the radio—turned it off after a few minutes when all he was getting was headache-inducing static.
"You think any ghosts will come this far over?" he asked, looking out the window at the monolith of the Pokémon Tower. It dominated the eastern horizon, pitch black against the night sky and managing to be more impressive than the radio tower despite technically being shorter. Frowned at the latter—you would have thought they'd have gotten better reception being this close.
"I hope not," Misty said, releasing Squirtle and Staryu before curling up under the covers. "It's bad enough we had to specifically ask for a room that was not 1408."
"You didn't have a problem with it until I told you about the movie."
"I question you watching that sort of thing," Brock said, tugging his shoes off before pointing at the tags attached to the door and window frames. "And besides, I told you about those spell tags—they ward off ghost Pokémon, so they won't be getting in here to do anything."
"That makes me feel a little better," Misty said, peeking out briefly before shrieking and ducking back under the covers. "Something's coming through the floor!"
"Oh, that's rich," Darkrai said, slipping out of his own shadow to float in the room. "Insult me why don't you?"
"Sure thing. And you," Misty said, throwing back the covers to show Squirtle cowering underneath them, tucked tight into his shell. "You're supposed to be protecting me!"
"Ha!" Ash noised, before looking back out the window. And then at the spell tag.
"Touch that spell tag and I break your fingers," Brock said, turning on his bedside lamp before crawling to the foot of his bed and flicking the main light off. "And no sneaking out—we'll get to the tower tomorrow."
"But now's the best time to be ghost-hunting," Ash protested. "Ghosts don't come out during the day! Do they?" he asked Darkrai.
Darkrai considered this. "Drifloon do—but they're native to Sinnoh."
"So? You're native to Sinnoh, and you're here."
"Oi."
"We're not going at night," Brock said, punctuated by Bulbasaur. "We're going during the day when we can see where we're going and can scope everything out without falling through potential holes in the floor. Once we do that, if we don't run into any ghosts, then we can stay after dark."
"Correction," Misty said, pointing. "You can stay after dark. I want no parts of no ghost."
"All right," Ash said, shifting around so he faced the rest of them. "But just so you know, they always get the person who goes off by themselves first."
"Who does?"
"Monsters, ghosts, serial killers…you know, the baddies in horror movies. Didn't you ever watch Perish Song?"
"Again, I question you watching that sort of film," Brock said, opening his book up and resting his bookmark on his chest.
Ash pointed at Darkrai, who suddenly became very interested in the radio.
"I tried messing with that already," Ash said, wincing at the memory of the static. "The signal sucks."
"It shouldn't, with that big honking radio tower they've got," Darkrai said, fiddling with the knob. "You just don't have the special touch."
Apparently, Darkrai didn't either—five agonizing minutes later, and he still hadn't gotten rid of that perpetuating static. He made a pensive noise upon turning it off.
"Open that window," he said suddenly.
Brock pulled his fingers out of his ears. "Don't open that window."
"Do it."
"Don't."
"You don't open that window, and I just pitch this right through it."
"Can't you just go through the floor?" Misty moaned from under her pillow.
"Just open the stupid window."
Ash did so.
Darkrai picked up the radio, considered the open window, and then chunked the radio through it.
Ash winced at the sound of the radio meeting its doom. "I think we're going to have to pay for that."
"Nonsense. Why, just look at that," Darkrai said, indicating something human-sized, round, and purple as it ran over, snatched the radio up, and ran off. "Repurposed already. Wonderful." And with that, he reached over and pulled the window shut—
Something big and spiky and purple went splat against the window, making a sharp-toothed, leering face and prompting everyone to yelp and leap back.
Well, everyone except Darkrai, who was making a sort of tsk noise.
"Nice jump scare, but the follow-up left something to be desired," Darkrai said, striking his claws against each other. "I give it a C minus."
The spiky purple thing peeled itself off the window—Ash recognized it as a Haunter—and floated away, sniffling.
"You made a grown Pokémon cry," Ash pointed out.
"Good," Darkrai said. "I was beginning to worry I was losing my touch."
"What are you," Misty asked, sounding irritated. "The Smeargle and Golurk of Pokémon?"
"I do enjoy critiquing others."
Ash, meanwhile, was looking at Brock and pointing out the window.
"No," Brock stressed. "No going out ghost-hunting. You can wait until tomorrow."
"What if they all head for the hills tomorrow?"
"I don't think they will."
"I do."
After five more minutes of arguing, Bulbasaur tied Ash to the bed while Brock released Geodude in front of the door.
And thus, Brock won the argument.