Chapter 27

Gajeel knew he was half awake. He was stuck in a nightmare he couldn't quite get out of. He tried yelling but either Laxus wasn't there or he hadn't made a sound at all. In the conscious world he knew he was in his boyfriend's room. It was daytime, Gajeel could feel the sunlight from the window hitting him. It was very quiet and comforting. Otherwise, he was pinned to an old bed in the dark by a giant who'd spent endless hours beating the dragon slayer.

He could feel it. It felt too real. He begged the man for mercy. He begged him for more.

It smelled like food. Laxus really wasn't in the room, perhaps, he was making breakfast again. There was something...wet, and warm on his forehead. A compress of some kind. Whatever it was it was a temporary relief to the headache he was left with.

Wake up. Wake up. You want to eat. Wake. Up.

Gajeel's eyes shot open and he gasped for air. Quickly he shut his mouth and calmed himself once he realized he was fully awake and Laxus could hear him again. He stared down at the wet rag that had fallen off his forehead, struggling to calm himself quietly. There was a strange sensation overtaking him, leaving him trembling. Last night, the pressure of those large hands against the back of his neck felt so real. Gajeel hadn't a moment to think before he slipped into unconsciousness, and not another moment before opening his eyes and finding himself underneath the man, legs spread open for him without a second to spare.

Shit. He couldn't take this. Every moment he believes things are getting better, Cadaver shows up. Real as it felt, Gajeel couldn't say for certain that it was. He grabbed the blanket that had been covering him, gripping it tightly and clenching his jaw, angry at the idea that this was truly just trauma. Laxus was right in a way; Cadaver was still in his head and Gajeel wasn't going to get any better until he was out...but...

There was movement. Gajeel finally snapped out of his thoughts and realized what he'd been staring at. The rag had been slowly soaking through Laxus' bedding. He grabbed it and crawled out of bed, grunting as his migraine was still somewhat there. Making his way downstairs he noticed the scent becoming much more prominent. It wasn't just eggs and bacon. There were pancakes, and toast...and mixed fruit. Laxus wasn't in the kitchen by himself. He could smell those three familiar scents which quickly overtook the food, and Gajeel subconsciously shrunk back, staring into the kitchen from afar.

"Bickslow-stop eating everything, wait for Gajeel, damn you!"

"Hee hee, you're more worried about presentation than-"

"Would you two shut the hell up!?"

They were speaking in hushed tones. Bickslow only kept giggling after Laxus tried silence them. Freed huffed and Evergreen continued minding her business, setting the table. Gajeel tensed. What the hell was all this?

"Gajeel?"

His eyes widened, realizing he'd been spotted. Gajeel was suddenly the center of everyone's attention, and although it was foreseen it was much, much worse than he'd expected it to feel. His jaw was tight, darting his eyes around the room desperate to look at anything else in that moment that could perhaps call their attention away, but there was nothing. Laxus was in front of him now, though, obscuring the Raijinshuu from Gajeel. He lifted a hand to the smaller dragon slayer's shoulder, moving it up to his cheek. Gajeel could only stare up at him, burning red.

"You fainted," Laxus spoke quietly, "Weren't sleeping well at all...are you alright?"

"...Mhm…" Gajeel nodded and Laxus let his arm relax.

"Sorry about uh, all this," he chuckled, "Freed, Bickslow 'nd Ever dropped by for another surprise visit, you know. They helped make breakfast."

"Mmm."

There was a moment, a few seconds of silence, from Laxus, Gajeel and the Raijinshuu. It was agony. Gajeel had no clue what to say, it was as though he'd forgotten how to speak. He felt something warm wrap around his hand. It was Laxus' own. The larger hand squeezed his, and Gajeel bit his lip, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"...yes."

He wasn't really sure how well he answered that. Regardless, Laxus brought him to the table. Their guild mates showed friendly faces, of course, with a tinge of relief everything in that moment was alright.

Gajeel stood in front of the bath run for him. He didn't need these soaks anymore, at this point it was just a gesture, but the warm water still felt good against sore muscles. This time, however, it felt much different. The moment Laxus left to clean, leaving him alone in the bathroom, he felt a looming presence watching. He was frozen. Nauseous. He cursed under his breath, wanting to leave but not wanting to turn around, clutching tightly to the fresh clothes given to him.

"Hey?"

He inhaled sharply. Laxus. Shit. How long had he been just standing there!?

"Gajeel...what's wrong?"

"...can't."

FUCK! Why couldn't he just speak for himself? Gajeel frowned as Laxus dropped his shoulders, entering the bathroom. The water was still hot, thankfully, it hadn't been that long. Still, Laxus knew Gajeel standing there frozen meant he was seeing Cadaver. He wrapped his arm around the other and squeezed his waist, "Is he here?"

"...I don't know."

…

"Hey, stay with me."

Laxus blinked. "S-sure."

He wasn't sure why it startled him, or why the prospect of taking a bath with his own boyfriend made him nervous considering they'd done this before. Though, throughout the whole month after everything they'd gone through, the only intimacy they had was some kissing, sharing the bed, and no more. It's been a while since they'd been so intimate. Watching Gajeel undress, Laxus could tell the other was just as nervous, if not more. He could have chalked it up to stress, but…looking at Gajeel now, standing exposed to him, he realized how much he missed this. He missed him.

Their first shared bath was chaotic. It was right here in this very bathtub, after a job the two had gone on together; teasing, constant splashing, sex. Now it was quiet. Gajeel sat between Laxus' legs, trying to relax.

"I don't know what to do," Gajeel broke the silence, finally, "About...this. I'm lost. I don't want these nightmares anymore. Don't even think they are nightmares, but…I just don't know. I want to tell myself this shit's all in my head, it's all fake and I'm goin' crazy, but it hurts way too damn much. I-I think it's real? I don't…"

He felt large arms wrap around his torso, pulling him back against the larger man.

"Laxus, I've spent way too much time stuck in my own bullshit," he continued, "I'm so much weaker, I don't know how much longer I can stand not being able to take care of myself like this."

"Gajeel, it's fine," Laxus reassured the other again, "And you already know this isn't your fault...listen. This situation is a whole lot more serious than a few recurring nightmares. I would even go so far as to say that this may be real. You aren't crazy."

Gajeel sunk a bit into the tub. Laxus didn't let him drop further.

"Juvia had suggested we see someone who works with this stuff," Laxus said, "Porlyusica isn't much help with this kind of thing, so we have to find another person that is. Someone who knows about this magic Cadaver had been using...Lily and Rogue were supposed to start searching today, but I haven't heard updates from them."

Lily and Rogue? That's a pair, Gajeel thought. Though, it made sense that Rogue would be able to help, since his magic was closely related to Cadaver's. Still, he wished he were more involved somehow. Gajeel couldn't escape feeling smaller than he was supposed to be. This was his own situation and he had very little to no control. Of course, Gajeel had no idea what he was doing nor was he in the headspace to figure it out...and his magic was barren.

Laxus said it wasn't his fault, a few times, but the image of his comrades encased in cocoons, all of their magical essence being sucked out of them for Cadaver's greed because of Gajeel's haphazard decision-making had etched in his mind, and that he knew they'd die if he hadn't given himself to the four-armed beast still haunted him. Over the past month, no one affected seemed as bothered as Gajeel had anticipated, outwardly at least. He was thankful that Natsu and his group didn't know where he'd been hidden, but everyone else came to visit at least once.

He wasn't sure if he was just sleepy or if he was finally relaxing. Laxus had been scrubbing him down while he'd spaced out. His large hand had been wrapped with a soft rag, gliding down Gajeel's chest, to his gut. He let out an exhale, looking up at the lightning mage.

Laxus smirked. His face was warm. He'd been this tender all month but Gajeel missed being this close to the man, sharing his body with him like this. Laxus let his head rest on Gajeel, placing his lips on the smaller dragon slayer's forehead. It sent tingles down his body and his toes curled, as though he'd never done it before. The other man chuckled quietly, noticing Gajeel's reaction.

Gajeel couldn't see a thing. His arms and legs were restrained, and his back was exposed and bare. It was getting hard to breath against the bed, and the gag in his mouth didn't. This was new for Cadaver, Gajeel didn't know why he was doing this exactly; he assumed it was because he felt less afraid, which to his master would be a huge mistake. Each lash hurt, leaving his back feeling as though it were more on fire than the last.

"I don't know when you will understand Gajeel," he said, slamming the whip down, "I. Still. Have. You. You may have taken away every last thing I've worked for, but I have you. ALL you have to do is surrender your life to me, and the pain ends, right here."

"Ghh…" Gajeel grunted, turning his head only to see nothing but the darkness of the abyss. There is no room. He's not supposed to be looking. There's another lash and with a large hand Cadaver takes Gajeel's head and pushes it back against the pillow.

"You keep talking to that damned blond," he continued, "Looking to him to fix all of your problems. What will he do? What can he do?"

He killed you. Gajeel could only think of the rebuttal before being slashed again. Gajeel tugged on the chains, breathing heavily. There was pressure against the back of his head, and his whole body tensed. The pressure was quickly becoming too much to bear against Gajeel's skull, and his pained, muffled screams were satisfying to the monster above him.

"What a lovely sound," Cadaver said, with a much softer tone despite his aggression, "Gajeel...I don't know what you've done to me, to make me to make me want you. Your body. It's an unhealthy obsession...that I don't quite understand."

It hurts. It Hurts.

"You know, Gajeel, I once thought it was my one half's constant desire for sex, or my other half's lack of receiving it. I thought perhaps it was just human instinct, and that in Vincent's words I 'hadn't any real 'action' in ages.' But here I am, Gajeel, dead, as you so believe. And I'm not sure I want to find out anymore. I've no need to. You've taken it from me. You've taken the reason from me."

Cadaver took his weight off Gajeel's head and perched himself over the other on the bed, rubbing his hands down his scarred back. Gajeel seethed and whined at the pain of his fingers going over fresh open wounds. He perked up suddenly at the sensation of lips against his back, tasting the blood from his cuts.

"Gh-a-agh!" Gajeel struggled, the sensation making him arch his back and panic. He panted, panicking as his hands then moved down to his hips. He wouldn't take him again, would he? Please, yesNO.

"And now all I desire is you."

"Hey! Gajeel!"

Gajeel had been shaken to consciousness by his partner, unaware that he'd been making noises in his sleep. He gasped, eyes wide when he saw Laxus grasping his arms tightly, sitting him upright...how long had he been trying to wake him up? Gajeel glanced at the clock, it was nearly 4:30 in the morning. He was still wheezing.

"You were having another nightmare," Laxus said, "I could see it this time...luckily...are you okay?"

No. Gajeel didn't answer. He stared at the bedroom door past Laxus. It was shut, but he stared daggers at it as though there were someone behind it. He scanned the room. The windows and curtains were shut, as Gajeel preferred. The fan was going and the room was cool compared to the outside heat. He looked down at the bed, watching Laxus wrap his arms around Gajeel and pull him back down onto the mattress.

Laxus was pulling the comforter back over him. Gajeel felt like shit. He couldn't speak, and he was unsure if it was due to poor sleep or if his encounters with Cadaver had finally shut him up. Either way he was exhausted, and he did not fight the larger dragon slayer from coddling him in that moment. Gajeel felt Laxus's breath as he rested his head on Gajeel's shoulder.

Gajeel stared at the ceiling. He couldn't go on like this.