This is my first DCMK story. And there will be gratuitous amounts of hurt!Kaitou Kid, hurt!Shinichi Kudo, other torture (story) devices, heists and very dramatic drama in this. I've always had a taste for the histrionic.
Disclaimer: Detective Conan, Magic Kaito. Gosho Aoyama pwnz dem.
Chapter quote:"KID'S UP HERE SOMEWHERE! DON'T ASK HOW!" – Ginzo Nakamori
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-The Last Night-
hattergems
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you've found me, tantei-kun
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Saguru Hakuba listlessly headed to his laboratory, not bothering to change out of his school uniform. There was nobody home to tell this British teen what to do.
… Urgh, so tired…
The detective wearily glanced up as a restless Watson swirled above him. He held his right arm out as a perch, inviting the bird to land. With a heavy swoop, she settled on his protected forearm. The blond found some treats and held them out to her, stifling a yawn. Between flying back and forth from England, homework, murder cases and Kid heists – there was another one tonight – sleep was becoming dangerously elusive to him.
… And there was that unsettling matter of Conan Edogawa's DNA code being almost exactly the same as one Kaito Kuroba's … Kuroba sure had a lot of 'DNA twins' – first the infamous Kaitou Kid, now that well-known twerp detective. Suspicious – to say the very least. But he wasn't going to mention that to anyone just yet. It hadn't been his business in the first place.
Saguru blinked in surprise, snapping out of his half-daze as Watson refused the offered treats, choosing to peck him hard on the cheek instead. "What is it, girl?" Saguru said quietly to the edgy bird as he took a sweeping look around his laboratory. The filing cabinets, equipment and even the vast mountain of manila folders he had neglected last night were all in place, not a leaf of paper out of order. "There's nothing here, Watson …"
Saguru reeled as the hawk uttered a piercing squawk. The bird went airborne, whapping the side of his face with a sizeable wing. Now in a crouch, Saguru took stock of his surroundings again, sleep-haze burned away by adrenaline. Because Watson was never wrong. But had he really lost his touch so much that he needed Watson to point out intruders to him?
With a harsh screech – a battle cry – the bird plummeted into a steep dive, disappearing behind one of the many cabinets. She appeared again with a night-black trilby grasped in her deadly talons. Oh, shit. Someone really was here. Without another thought, Saguru speed-dialled for the Japanese emergency services.
"… Ambulance, pol – "
"Police! Hakuba residence – !" The blond detective was cut short as a rough hand grabbed his shoulder. Reacting instantly, Saguru expertly threw the man, lean trench-coated form shattering some nearby beakers. Damn, if that was his sulphuric acid …
A huge black-clothed torso blocked the blond detective's field of vision. Saguru was among the taller of his Japanese peers, but he had barely enough time to crank his head up to look at this second attacker before he was slammed violently into a wall. Thick fingers wrapped around Saguru's windpipe. His pale flesh was bruising under the force. Oh, crap. There were two of them. How could he take both of them down? With a muffled gasp, the blond grasped the muscled wrist of the hand that was choking him. Then he forced his chin down into the fingers. The ox of a man let go as his knuckles bent under the pressure. Up ahead, Watson was wheeling and shrieking in fury, aiming lethal claws and beak at the thinner man.
Now free, Saguru fell to the floor, landing hands first. Springing back like a cat, he swiftly twisted his torso and kicked his assailant's legs out from underneath him. The giant fell with a leaden thump. Saguru flipped back up onto his feet and darted backwards so the man wouldn't be able to do the same to him. As he moved however, Saguru saw a fast dark blur approaching him. It was the other man. The teen had nowhere to dodge so he took a deep breath just as a fist rammed into his solar plexus. Another punch followed in quick succession, bashing him into the wall. A tile cracked behind him. Judging from the ice-cold flooding his chest, a rib was broken as well.
When his vision finally cleared, Saguru saw one thing.
A tripod.
Shit.
THUD! The piece of science equipment collided against his head and the world instantly dissolved.
Much later, the paramedics would find a seriously concussed blond teen sprawled lifeless and an injured sparrowhawk. The only word they would get out of the young detective was 'heist', presumably referring to the one that he would miss that night.
Also, several folders containing DNA records that Saguru had been mulling over recently would later be discovered mysteriously missing.
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Every officer stood to attention, fidgeting and twitching, about as much because of the humidity as the agitated anticipation that draped so heavily over the room. Each nerve-wracking minute ticked by with agonising, impossible slowness.
Outside, it continued to pour.
"Damn thief," Inspector Nakamori growled, crushing his cigar butt under heel. It was just past eleven o'clock at night. He added some choice expletives under his breath. The 'wait' part of the heist was always the worse. On top of it all, tonight, that famous midget detective of Mouri's – Edogawa? – had decided to come poke around. Little geek. On nights like this, just one aspirin bottle wasn't enough. At least the Hakuba kid wasn't here. Nakamori was glad that his dear daughter, Aoko, had brought him some dinner.
Suddenly, the Esaki Crystal seemed to wink at him. Nakamori glared severely at the jewel, as if daring it to disappear in front of his eyes. The glorious stone continued to sparkle innocently on its silken cushion. "He's late," the Inspector growled.
"Fashionably so," a velvety voice corrected. It was soft, insubstantial, and buttery – like a beam of moonlight. And it made everyone jump out of his or her skins. Nakamori whipped around, trying to pinpoint the source of the sound, even though he knew that this particular international criminal could throw his voice anywhere and everywhere – and not only his voice ...
Nevertheless, an inspector had to try.
"KID!" Nakamori roared. "Face me like a man!" Lilting laughter. Nakamori clenched his fists. Stupid thief. When he caught that bastard, he would ...
"No can do, keibu-san!" Kid sang maniacally. He was still nowhere in sight. "The Esaki Crystal is mine!"
Nakamori was about to come back at the kaitou with some pithy remark or other when the electricity in the entire mansion cut out, plunging the room into darkness and confusion. "Back-up power," the Inspector ordered sharply, trying for some semblance of control. Kid lived off mayhem, dang it! "Get the back-up power on!" In less than five seconds, his command was realized. Nakamori smiled proudly to himself. His 1412 Taskforce men were the best.
However, Kid was just that bit better. Not that Nakamori would ever admit it.
The lights flickered back on to reveal a white-clad phantom thief hanging suspended upside-down over the jewel's display case by a length of rope, gravity-defying top hat still magically in place. Kid's white-gloved hand was closing around the gem ...
"NO!" the Inspector bellowed, whisking out his gun with skill that he never thought he possessed. A perfect shot sliced the rope, sending the magician thief earthwards. A smattering of applause met his smoking gun – but it was a small victory. With a laugh, Kid found his footing again easily, landing lightly on top of the case, truly a phantom thief. Bloody acrobat, Nakamori thought bitterly.
"Very good, Inspector," Kid commented serenely. Despite all Nakamori's effort, the shimmering gem was now in the thief's long-fingered grasp. Kid was thoughtlessly turning it over and over, letting the light hit the facets at different angles. "You're in rare form tonight."
Nakamori reddened. "GET HIM! GET HIM!" he shouted in harmonious unison with his teenage daughter. Great minds really did think alike.
... And the Inspector might have just imagined it, but Kid might have just cried, 'Ooh, I love this game,' as his officers piled on top of the display case, causing a heap more of a mess than Kid had.
"See you next time!" Kid's gleeful voice called. Kid! He had disappeared in that irritating trademark plume of pink smoke of his. Nakamori spun on his heel, looking at all the shadows.
However, International Criminal #1412 was long gone.
But so was one Conan Edogawa, boy detective.
And, god no – where was Aoko Nakamori and the janitor's mop?!
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"KID!" the Inspector's ferocious daughter snarled, mop viciously thrashing air. "GET BACK HERE, YOU MONKEY!"
Eek! Kid thought, holding his top hat in place as he evaded lithely. Hanging upside-down, the hat could handle, but running away from a crazed Aoko with her weapon of choice – not a chance!
"Ojou-san ..."
SWIPE!
"Shut up, thief!"
DODGE!
"Pretty please ...?" Kid said hopefully.
SWIPE!
"... Huh? You're a lot slower than Kaito ...!"
DODGE!
Kid agreed. With ungainly hang-glider struts strapped to his back, he was quite a bit heavier.
"Why do you do it Kid?! Stealing's against the law!"
"Oh?"
SWIPE!
"I hate you!"
DODGE!
"I can't say the same for you, pretty little miss."
SWIPE! SWIPE!
"Didn't I tell you to shut up?!"
DODGE! BACK FLIP!
"Yes. Several times, ojou-san."
SWIPE!
... CRASH!
"Oh great!"
Kid – or rather, Kaito –grinned at his childhood friend. "Heh. That was a rather expensive vase, Nakamori-chan."
"Answer my question, Kid!" Aoko snapped, quickly losing interest in the broken ceramic. She had bigger fish to fry.
"If you could please refresh my memory – "
"WHY DO YOU GO AROUND STEALING GAUDY BAUBLES AND MAKING FOOLS OUT OF EVERYONE?!"
Kid winced inwardly. Inspector Nakamori had quite the successor in the making. "The philosophy of the Phantom Thief?" Kid mused, chin in hand. "Hmm …"
Conan Edogawa chose that moment to round the corner. "KID!" the miniature detective yelled, aiming his stun-gun watch. Kid's thoughtful look disappeared, replaced by his customary outrageous grin. "I apologise, but I must cut our meeting short. Another time, Nakamori-chan!"
POOM!
"DAMN YOU, KID!" both Aoko and Conan hollered. One because her weapon had somehow transformed into a harmless red rose and the other because his spectacles had suddenly become pink, studded and horn-rimmed.
And it was still relatively early into the night.
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He was balancing delicately on the flimsy roof piping, seemingly oblivious to the rain. The powerful wind picked up his white cape, the dangling clover charm and blood-red tie, making them whip around theatrically. Kid had always been one for dramatics. Ah, must be the magician streak in him.
Conan was almost bent double, hands on his thighs, trying to catch his breath. Damn, Kid was fast – he moved like a freaking deer. It didn't help that the detective was trapped in a pre-schooler's body. As it were, Conan could get no closer to Kid without risking a three-storey fall. All he could do now was hope to distract the thief long enough for Nakamori and the cavalry to arrive. The chances of unmasking the grinning Kid tonight were less than zero percent. Not good odds, he thought wryly. Conan wondered briefly why the thief hadn't already taken off on those white wings of his, but dismissed the thought, putting it down to Kid's downright batshitness.
"Kid," Conan gasped, the rain blurring his glasses – now changed back to their normal state. The bloated moon was overcast. Lightning ruled the skies tonight.
"Oh dear," Kid chirped, sparing him half a glance. The thief was examining the Crystal. "You've found me, tantei-kun."
"Hand over the rock!" Conan snapped, adjusting his stun-gun watch. He did not intend to use it, though. If Kid fainted at this height ... Phantom Thief splatter art.
Suddenly a swirl of white obscured his vision. Bewildered, Conan twirled, trying to make sense of what he was seeing. In the process, he felt a foot slip on the slick wet roof-tiles. Oh god, how he hated this body. The shrunken detective's breath left him as he felt his stomach dropped. Oh crap, he was going to fall ... he was going to fall ...!
He was upright again.
"Kid?" Conan murmured, a bit shakily. A steadying hand was at his elbow. Conan knew he was flushing from embarrassment and frustration. Stupid thief … Stupid tiny body …
... Stupid Black Organisation!
"Sorry about throwing you off-balance like that," Kid said. Conan couldn't see the thief's face, but it was sure to have a sharp smirk stapled onto it, all the while staying perfectly emotionless. "It seems your body is not quite fully developed."
His humiliated blush became an angry one. Before Conan could retort though, Kid began to titter merrily. Bastard thief.
"Good. I think I have your full attention now, tantei-kun."
... Huh? Conan blinked and looked up. Had it just stopped raining ...? No, Kid had gotten them both under an umbrella. A dazzling white umbrella. Oi oi. Kid made a face that could have been called a childish pout, as if wounded by Conan mistrustful stare. "I'd hate for something to befall my favourite critic. Be it flu, or ..." At this point, Kid covered a rough cough in his gloved fist. Others might have taken it at face value and joked that the great Moonlight Magician really was human and why in the world he was doing a heist with a cold, but Conan saw it for what it was. A distraction. Everything with Kid was.
"Cut the bullshit. What is it, Kid?"
"Tut tut, tantei-kun. Language," Kid murmured, but immediately lapsed back into that uncharacteristic contemplative silence. For several moments, they stayed like that, both dripping wet under the white umbrella. Until they heard Nakamori's booming voice.
"KID'S UP HERE SOMEWHERE! DON'T ASK HOW!"
"... The men in black," Kid said rather abruptly. Conan's breath hitched slightly. His plan of 'keep Kid talking until the police get here' flew out of the window like one of Kid's trained doves.
"How do you ...?"
"A little birdie told me," Kid cut in. Then he continued tersely, "What you should know is that they're planning something for you. I'm not sure what exactly, though."
"Me ...?"
"Yes, you. And Shinichi Kudo." As Kid uttered this last name, this true name, he cast a sardonic sidelong glance at the shrunken detective. So the thief did know. Conan didn't know what to think; revelations were coming at him too fast to process. However, his cool still matched the thief's.
"It's one or the other," Conan amended. That earned a derisive chuckle.
"I see. Either way, cover your backside, tantei-kun." ... I'd hate for something to befall my favourite critic ...
"Of course," the shorter answered coldly. No duh. Asshole.
The noise of the 1412 Taskforce was getting steadily louder and closer. Nakamori would be all over the thief like a rash in a few seconds.
"Aren't you going to run?" Conan asked, toneless and flat, reminded of their first meeting on top of that hotel when Conan had uttered almost the exact same words. It had been a challenge then, but now, it was more of a farce.
A flash of lightning. Kid's monocle blazed with reflected light. The rumble of thunder almost drowned out the criminal's soft reply. "I'm not going anywhere until someone arrives."
Well, that was certainly different.
"What are you expecting?" Conan queried quietly, curiosity getting the better of him, as it always did.
"Shadows," Kid responded cryptically, darkly. But then Conan couldn't have sworn that the criminal had said anything at all, because his monocled face suddenly broke into a wide grin as the white umbrella snapped closed and vanished. "Well, it's time to get off this roof, tantei-kun! Stay still!"
A huge cloud of pink smoke and Conan felt a whoosh of vertigo. He was then lifted up, carefully manhandled. The shrunken teen yelped in surprise but heeded Kid's warning and didn't struggle. They were in the air, drifting quickly earthwards on Kid's hang-glider.
"Bye, little detective. Take care." Kid chuckled before setting Conan down onto the muddy grass tenderly. The criminal then effortlessly swept skywards again, soaring into the stormy night amidst Inspector Nakamori's cursing.
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Aoko stared out her window, contemplating her overly eventful night. Who would have thought that a teenage girl would nearly take the elusive Kaitou Kid down? She giggled. His expression when she first swung the mop was priceless! Take that, Kid!
Unexpectedly, she heaved a sigh. Those big indigo eyes ... when they stared at her, she had instantly gone into mop-chase mode. For a second there, she was back at school, chasing her best friend Kaito Kuroba around the classroom as punishment for some prank or other. That was not how she had meant it to be. Because Kid was not Kaito. But those eyes, that face – both had been so freakishly familiar.
However, his expression was much deeper and less guarded than Kaito's usually were. Or maybe it was just guarded on a different level. When she was around Kaito, it felt like there was a wall between them, like Kaito had the door only half-opened to her. Hell, he was never fully open to her. But with Kid ... With Kid, it was as if the one wish of her heart had been granted. With Kid, it was like looking into Kaito's eyes, but with the walls and barriers broken down. How she had wished all these years for Kaito to open up to her.
And then Kid, her greatest enemy, just comes along one night and grants her wish. The irony.
But Kaito was not Kid and Kid was not Kaito, her mind screamed. She couldn't afford to mix the two up! And she didn't like Kid! What the hell was going on here? Maybe she really should go to sleep now ... Aoko buried her head in her hands. Kid was probably just playing mind games, disguising himself as Kaito to get the better of her. The jerk! Anyway, her father had said that Kid was an old man.
As Aoko lay her head down on her pillow and closed her eyes, she did not notice the single tear that trailed down her smooth cheek.
Kaito ... please, when will you throw away that cold Poker Face of yours and let me truly see you? When will you be strong enough to get rid of that mask? Please, Kaito ...
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Kid was late because of Conan ((hint for future chapters)). And yes, Kid did eventually crash land from bad weather. Just a little detail.
– hatter/gems
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