Dib was startled out of his focused stupor by a chime from across the room. He glanced at the clock on the primary monitor to find that, yes it had been two hours. A green bar and giant smile signified the data transfer completion. Dib got up and made his way to the deactivated SIR unit and its newly restored memory chip. Hopefully this wouldn't go too disastrously.
Inserting the chip in the SIR unit was easy. Turning it on was also, in theory, easy. But Dib's hand hesitated over the switch regardless. There was no telling what the SIR would do, no amount of planning could account for Gir's inherent chaos. Combined with Zim? It was a death sentence waiting to happen, but the computer never stopped him, so Dib could only assume he was on track. He flicked the unit on and stepped away, just in case.
"Gir, reporting for— doody" The robot turned to him and saluted, eyes flashing red before returning to their normal cyan. It screeched out a laugh, "Doody!" It repeated. Dib already regretted every choice that had led him to this moment.
"Gir, relay your prime directive."
"Uhhh," The robot though hard for a moment, "Make friends with all the little squirrels and humans?"
"And who is your master?"
"Zim!" Gir lit up, "Where is he? Is he hiding? Master?!"
At least it was functioning properly. Well, properly was subjective. What mattered was that the restore had gone off without a hitch. "He's not feeling well, Gir," Dib started. He'd had more experience with defective SIR units than most, but Gir was on another level. "He needs your help to get better."
"Master?!" Gir screeched, Dib's hands instinctively flew to his antennae, his disguise shimmered as his hands passed through holographic black hair.
"That—" Dib choked out, "Will not help him get better. Now I need you to listen very carefully. If anything goes wrong, your master will explode."
"Explode?!" Gir was running around, panicked. "My master's gonna die?!"
"Yes!" Dib grabbed the robot, stopping it in its tracks. He knelt down to its eye level and drew in close. "Zim will explode if anything goes wrong. You have to follow my exact instructions to a T, okay?"
"Okay!" Gir's eyes flashed red, but his panicked expression didn't dissipate. Dib let go of the little robot, trying to figure out the simplest way to explain everything to it.
"Where did you two disappear off to?" Zim was ready and waiting when Dib and Gir tried to surreptitiously sneak back into the kitchen. The burnt husk of a microwave sat smoldering behind him.
"Mast—" Gir tried to screech, nearly launching himself at Zim. Dib quickly slapped a hand over the robot's mouth and held him back.
"We were talking," Dib said, squeezing the robot in warning. Gir relaxed and Dib slowly let him go. "About… stuff."
"Stuff" Zim raised an eyebrow at the two of them. "Did you tell him about… you know."
"I don't. Know, that is."
"The Lien-ay thing." Dib stared at him blankly. If Zim was speaking a different language it wasn't registering. "You!" Zim added with a hiss, gesturing vaguely. Gir stared at his master in confusion.
"I don't understand what you're trying to say."
"Did you tell him you are an a-l-i-e-n?" Zim spelled out the word, eyes darting frantically between Gir and Dib.
"What?" Dib blinked, "Oh! Yes, that's what we were talking about."
"No! We were ta—" Gir blurted out, Dib quickly slapped his hand over the robot's mouth again.
"Careful!" Zim snapped. "Just because you're a freaky monster from beyond doesn't mean you can mistreat my little brother."
"Apologies." Dib slowly removed his hand from Gir's mouth, shooting the robot a glare. "I don't know about the two of you, but I haven't eaten in days." He tried to change the subject, dodging past Zim to get to the table, where plates had been set in anticipation of a meal.
"I had dinner an hour ago. You two are late." Zim made his way to a simmering pot on the stove regardless, serving a ladle full of off-putting sludge to Gir. Dib stared at him expectantly.
"What?" Zim asked, returning the ladle to the counter and recovering the pot. "I'm not serving you food. Get it yourself."
"Whatever happened to wanting to see my spaceship?" Dib grumbled, standing to serve his own slop. Gir perked up at Dib's words.
"We gonna go in a spaceship?" Gir asked, volume still way too high for Dib's sensitive antennae. He wondered how Zim could stand the screeching.
"Not you," Zim shot a glare at Dib, "You're way too young to be going to space. Adults only."
Gir pouted, but thankfully didn't say any more. Dib was about halfway into his meal before he decided to start phase one of his plan. "So, Zim, you're interested in alien technology, right?"
"Hm?" Zim was busying himself with the slab of glass he'd called a 'cell phone'. He looked up, vaguely annoyed but not angry. "Yeah, I guess."
"How do you feel about sentient robots?"
"That depends," Zim started, slowly. He set the phone aside and narrowed his eyes at Dib, "Why?"
"I may not have been entirely honest with you," Dib took a breath, all he could do was hope that Gir would actually play his part. "About the… invading the Earth, part, that is."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Zim was on guard now. Dib expected this but it didn't make the situation any less stressful.
"A long time ago, there was another Irken— another alien like myself— who was… assigned, to this planet." Banished would probably have been a better word, but he was treading on thin ice as is. "He disappeared and left all of his technology here on earth, I was sent to retrieve it."
"So you aren't here for the Membrane presentation?"
"You aren't concerned in the least with the entire part about the 'another alien on earth who was sent to destroy it' thing?"
"Well, obviously that's bad. But you said he left so why should I care?" Zim stood, collecting Gir's dinnerware. The robot was thankfully being silent and letting Dib explain.
"And I showed up here because…" Dib glanced between Zim and Gir, "You have some of that technology." Well, all of it, but that's a topic for another day.
"I have what?" Zim laughed, haphazardly tossing the plate and silverware into a dangerously full sink. "I think I would know if I had alien technology in my house."
"Gir?" Dib looked at the robot. Zim furrowed his brows, following Dib's gaze.
"You can't be serious. Gir's my little brother, not some alien robot. I literally watched him grow up."
Gir discarded the human clothing, 'revealing' his true robot form. Revealing really was a strong word, and Dib once again marveled at humanity's utter stupidity. The little robot gave a squeal and a wave.
"Gir, prime directive." Dib wasn't looking at the robot anymore, keeping his eyes steadily trained on Zim. Zim, for his part, was taking things rather well. Either that or he didn't believe what was going on. He was steadying himself with the back of a chair, but other than that seemed to be fine.
"Infiltrate and gather intelligence on the humans, prepare Earth for the coming Irken Armada," Gir's eye's flashed red, he and Dib had practiced this. Things were going surprisingly smoothly. "And dance with all the funny cows!"
Dib groaned, that part they hadn't practiced. "Sure, okay, and who do you work for?"
"Uhhhhhhh" Gir panicked, looking frantically between Dib and Zim. "I work for…" Dib mouthed the answer to it, since no amount of practicing could seem to override its inherent defectiveness. "The Irken Empire."
"You're giving him the answers!" Zim snapped. Evidently having formed his own conclusions about the situation. "Thats a really funny joke, trick, play, whatever your two practiced for two hours. You almost had me, too." Zim stood up straight, crossing his arms, "But Gir isn't a robot, and he ca—" Zim stopped abruptly, staring at Gir.
Confused, Dib turned to look at the robot as well. The robot who was currently being, well, a robot. It had pulled something that could have at one point resembled food from its head. Dib shuddered to think about how long it had been sitting forgotten in there. Gir then proceeded to reveal all of the weapons stored in various locations on its body. A massive cannon protruded from its back, while an array of lasers and guns unfolded from compartments around its midsection.
Zim gaped, aimlessly reaching out for the chair that had steadied him before. "Its true," his voice cracked. "My little brother's a robot…" Dib prepared himself for the worst. He watched carefully for a short, noting every minuscule movement Zim made.
"My little brother's a robot!" Zim said again, a wild grin stretching across his face, "This is awesome!" He straightened himself out, running to Gir's side. The robot thrived in it's master's attention. "Do those weapons actually work?" He addressed Gir.
"Uhh, I haven't tried them," Gir scrunched his face up in concentration, "Maybe if I—"
There was a blinding flash of light, followed by a wave of unbearable heat. Three voices screamed in chorus and the room was engulfed in smoke. When it finally cleared, there was a massive hole in the wall, leading outside.
"Yeah, that's my brother alright." Zim's voice was small, he'd been only a few inches away from the blast after all. Dib stared out the hole and into the living room of the house next door.
Now that the reveal was out, what was next? Dib didn't feel any closer to restoring the other Irken's memories. Not to mention the threat of Gir slipping up and telling Zim everything. Maybe he had to get more drastic with his attempts, because after today he only had five more days to complete his mission.
What if he showed Zim the base?
A/N: Sorry this took so long, was waiting until I got my MacBook Air to write this chapter. It's a dream to write on, now if only I could come up with any actual good chapter ideas. If it wasn't obvious, this chapter was a little rough lol