—

Chapter Thirty-One

—

Everything was cold.

Gaz stood, shivering, in a dark space. It was so dark that she initially assumed her eyes were closed, but quickly noticed that she could see her own body as if in broad daylight. Her surroundings were indiscernible; she couldn't see walls, ceiling, or even a floor, though she could feel one beneath her feet. Her breath was visible as well, coming out in small puffs, and she rubbed the sides of her arms in an attempt to warm herself. As she did so, she asked herself some questions. Where was this place? Was she dead? Was this hell?

After a few moments of trembling in place, she decided to pick a direction and walk. While it certainly felt as if she were walking, she had no visual clues to indicate her progress, which she found unsettling. As she walked, she became aware of a dull, distant noise. It was the sound of people talking, she realized. Arguing? She couldn't tell, nor could she make out any words. The voices seemed familiar, but it was too muffled for her to really tell for sure.

She tried to collect her thoughts. Blissfully, her emotions seemed far away; they had been giving her whiplash the last few days. Has it really only been days? Last week, she and Zim had been together in their apartment, in love and happy—or happy enough, anyway. She hadn't told Zim yet that she was pregnant, but he found out from Amy. Amy! When she had asked Amy for help, this certainly wasn't what she meant. And that Zim's response to the information was to abandon Gaz truly showed the sort of man he was.

No, Zim said—he said he left me to protect me. From himself. From my dad.

Unbelievably, it seemed to still be getting colder. The cold was strongest in her back, all along her spine up to the base of her skull. Why was she freezing? The moments passed, but everything around her remained the same blackness, and she only became colder, and the pain grew.

Last week, she'd thought she was human.

Why… why did Dad…? Her thoughts were sluggish; she shook her head as if that would help, like shaking cobwebs out of her brain. How did he know about Irkens? How are Dib and I Irken? Who was our mom?

She rubbed her numb hands together, desperate to bring them back to sensation, then frowned down at them. They were three-fingered and pale green, as they always were, and yet, something about them seemed… not right.

Wait, 'as they always were'? My hands aren't—my hands should be—?

It was as if her mind was succumbing to the cold as well, and her feet dragged heavily. At last, she stopped, and slumped slowly to her knees. The sensation in her back became so cold it almost seemed to burn, and she couldn't stand it anymore. She reached behind herself and her fingers met metal. Horror sliced through her.

"Wait," she said aloud. "Wait. This—this isn't right. I'm—" She clasped her head in her three-fingered hands, scrambling to collect her thoughts amidst a mounting panic. "I'm—I'm wearing the PAK." The PAK was probably lodging itself in her nervous system and brain, she knew; would that kill her? She was half Irken—possibly more, since her body had changed from years of being Zim's mate—so maybe there was a chance she could survive the procedure. But what about infection? I hope someone's taking care of me, she thought, breathing hard.

Instead of fading away with the cold, the pain had become white-hot and agonizing. She curled up on the floor, the pressure in the back of her head clouding everything but the sensation. She was growing too weak now to scream, instead whimpering and gasping through tears.

"Oh, hello! I didn't expect a roommate."

Gaz's eyes fluttered open, but there was nothing to see. Who was that?

"Oooooh! I'm so tall!"

"What?" Gaz croaked. "Who are you?"

"I'm Invader Sli," said the other entity, and Gaz finally realized it was speaking with her mouth. A spark of rage bloomed in her, but it still felt so far away. "My information says that this was an unusually difficult installation. That would explain the agony I'm in right now. I wonder if it's because I'm so tall? Or because I'm occupied?"

"Get out," hissed Gaz. "You do NOT belong here."

Invader Sli giggled, and Gaz's fury flared, stronger now. "I've been installed, silly! Of course I belong here. But…" Sli paused pensively. "Why would they install me in a grown-up?"

"You weren't meant for me. You were supposed to be installed in my smeet."

Sli's surprise rolled through Gaz, who shuddered in disgust. She was not interested in feeling emotions that didn't belong to her. "There… there is another one in here," the Invader said in awe. "What's going on?"

Gaz managed to force a smirk. "This is my body," she said. "That means you listen to me. Get—get inside my smeet's brain instead, and I'll let you live. This body is occupied."

"Oh, I don't think that that's possible. My PAK is attached to me, not my smeet."

"It's not YOUR smeet! Get the FUCK out of my head!" Gaz reached behind her, grappling for the PAK, and attempted to pull at it. The scream of pain she let out originated from both of them. Her hands tried letting go, which she fought, realizing Sli could now manipulate more than just her mouth.

"You idiot!" the Invader shrieked. "You'll kill us both! STOP!"

Gaz stopped, but out of sheer exhaustion rather than lack of will. Gasping, she collapsed on her side, the pain of her body fading into a deep ache.

"Let's come to an agreement," said Sli quickly. "We can't remove the PAK, or we'll both die. I don't know of any way to separate us; normally Invaders engulf the mind of a smeet, but you are an adult, and tall, so your strength of will is strong. There are also… pieces… to this body that I don't understand. Strange organs. I don't understand the DNA—there is nothing like it in my information banks. Some of it is Irken, but a lot of it is… something completely unfamiliar. I've been using the PAK to try to heal us, but it's been difficult with how painful the install has been. That's another thing—the installation should not have been so painful; it should have been easy. Anyway, let's work together for now, until we figure out what to do. We're not even conscious right now."

"How do you know so much?" Gaz barked. "You're just a smeet, right? How do you know things about my body that I don't?"

"The PAK has all the information, if you know how to access it, and how to read it." Gaz's lips turned up as Sli half-smirked. "Which I do."

Gaz slapped the ground with her hand in irritation. "What if I just overpower you and kill you that way? Force you into silence with my will?"

"I have full control over our nervous system," Sli answered sharply. "I can do whatever I want with just a simple direction of neurons. So you will accept my offer to work together, or we'll suffer."

Keeping herself alive by threatening herself? Gaz frowned. Surely she's joking. Still, she wanted to wake up and get the fuck out of here. Maybe it was all just a horrible, horrible dream. At the end of the day, she was in no condition to keep fighting Sli. She would not submit; she would regain full control of her own body, and she would learn how to access the PAK information just as Sli could. But for now, the only viable option was to retreat.

"Fine," she said through clenched teeth. "We work together. What do we do?"

"Thank you for being agreeable. I'll check on our faculties and wake us up."