A/N: This is the result of me and a few friends being completely insane. I do, in fact, now ship Tom and Katie, and I will create a serious fanfic about them later. But at the moment, here is the story we created. This is not mine. It's J.K.'s. Even though I'm pretty sure that this would have never happened in a Harry Potter book. Enjoy!
Cho Chang was sitting in the Great Hall, and, as it was near the beginning of the year and she had no homework, she was trying to think of a way to entertain herself. Grinning, a lightbulb flickered on in her mind, and she set off for the kitchens, having a job for the House Elves.
Meanwhile, Katie Bell was once again trying to persuade a new student, Tom, to tell her his last name. Several people had stated that he looked like Tom Riddle, but he wouldn't admit to it, saying his name was Smith, Stone, etc. At the moment, Katie was in the process of writing down all Tom's that had attended Hogwarts between 1900 and 2000. She had guessed that Tom was a Head Boy; he carried himself in such a way that showed he could be charming, classy, and extremely smart. If this was true, she would have one name left. Tom Riddle.
A few minutes passed, in which Katie tried to process the information, planning her questions to Tom. Soon, he walked up. "I hope you're not still trying to figure out who I am." He grabbed the parchment she had been writing on. "What is this?"
She grabbed it back, telling him what she was writing down. "And you seem like you were top of your class."
"How do you figure that?"
She grinned. "Just the way you act…I can tell."
He rolled his eyes, acknowledging the fact. "Fine. I was a Head Boy."
She turned back to the parchment, circling a name. "In that case, I have five names. Are you Tom August, Stone, Riddle, Jones, or Black?"
He shrugged. "Tom Stone. Nothing special about that, is there?"
She smirked at him. "But you see, there was no Tom Stone on there. Try again."
He glared at her. "There's only one on there, isn't there?"
"You think I'm stupid don't you Tom? Of course there was only one name. So Tom Riddle it is... why does that sound familiar...?"
Still glaring, he responded "Because most Head Boys are known by Hogwarts students. Or because I have a trophy in the trophy room."
She looked confused. "But I've polished those before…you'd have to be forty. And you're definitely not that old."
He smirked. "You'll figure it out eventually," he stated, talking more to himself than to her.
She paused for a few moments, trying to figure out the truth. "Are you a time-traveler?"
He rolled his eyes. "So you're not a total idiot. Of course I am." He paused a few seconds, thinking. "Obliviate." He waved his wand, erasing her memories of who he was.
Confusion set in. She began questioning him why she had written his name on the paper, why she had circled it, why she couldn't remember. He created inaccurate answers for every question; he didn't want her to know that he had traveled forward in time from his years at Hogwarts in order to see what had become of him.
A few minutes later, Cho appeared, holding some Chocolate Frogs.
"Katie, want some Chocolate frogs?"
Katie accepted, popping a few in her mouth. Grinning mischievously, Cho set the box on the table, backing away and sitting at a different table, observing Katie.
Suddenly, Katie looked at Tom as if she was seeing God.
"You know, Tom, you're extremely attractive."
Giving her an odd look, he backed away, slowly realizing that Cho had done something. "Something happened to you…"
She looked confused. "Nothing happened to me Tom, I'm just admitting my true feelings for the first time. Why else would I care about who you were?" She advanced, attempting to chase him down. Tom pulled out his wand, creating an invisible wall between them, and subconsciously reached over to the table, eating a Chocolate Frog. "Go away!" He yelled at her.
She looked hurt. "Don't you like me Tom?"
And the love potion in his Chocolate Frog started kicking in. "No, I don't like you. I love you, Katie!" He was grinning, oddly out of character.
She laughed. "Really?" She ran forward, hitting the barrier, and falling down. Realizing what had happened, he made the barrier disappear, running forward, helping her up, and embracing her. "I think I love you too, Tom." She smiled, hugging him, both of them oblivious to the fact that they were under the influence of Amortentia.
And he kissed her.
She pulled away after a few moments. "Want to get married?" she asked him.
And he grinned, agreeing. They apparated to a Church, where Victor Krum officiated the ceremony. After the wedding cake was brought out, Tom dived into it, getting his suit covered in icing and cake.
They returned to Hogwarts, where Cho was waiting with Chocolate Cauldrons. Offering some to them both, she once again retired to a different table; only she knew that newlyweds had just eaten chocolate with Firewhiskey pumped into it.
Having also traveled into the future, a teenage Bellatrix walked in at that moment, screaming. She, even in her teenage years, had always been in love with Tom. And now that he was married to Katie, she was hit by a large wave of jealousy.
Drunk and under Amortentia, Katie looked over at her. "Jealous, are we?" she asked, grinning.
Bellatrix had been glancing from Tom to Katie and back again for a few minutes at that point, trying to comprehend what had happened. The two had been hugging, pledging their love for one another while Tom stroked Katie's hair.
"What the heck are you doing?" Bellatrix yelled at Tom.
Katie answered. "We got married! Aren't you happy for us?"
"No, actually, I'm not!"
Katie was crestfallen. "But why not?"
Filled with rage, Bellatrix didn't answer. Turning to Tom, Katie stated "We haven't had our first dance yet!"
And they started dancing.
About ten minutes later, tired of dancing with Katie, Tom ran over to Bellatrix, beginning to dance with her. "Bella, I'm in love!" He was delirious. "And just an FYI, Voldemort and you never end up together! Just sayin'."
Angry, she left him alone, storming to the Slytherin common room.
He returned to Katie, and within twenty minutes, they had passed out on the floor of the Great Hall, the night's events just a blur.
A/N: Honestly, this was not meant to be well written, to make sense, or to be true to the books in any way, shape, or form. Mostly as a form of documentation to remember this inside joke forever. If you enjoyed it though, feel free to tell me.
And if you want to read a good story instead of something like this, I have a Lupin and Tonks one I'm in the process of writing, along with several other one-shots.