I've written a story similar to this on and I'm in the process of writing another one - The Marchioness of Torino and The Anglo-Saxon Chronicles, respectively. the latter will be updated on the off weeks during this story's biweekly updates. Marchioness was EU4 inspired and ASC is CK2 inspired, this story will follow the same formula and be EU4 inspired but also a general alternate history, however, I'm posting this one as a EU4 fanfiction to see how the perception is over here - but don't let that fool you, this is a very ambitious story. The title is The Legacy of The Romans and we go to two countries in The 17th Century who claimed to be The Third Rome - The Tsardom of Russia and The Ottoman Empire. Chapters will alternate between two characters, The Tsarina Anastasia Aleksandrovna Rurikovich and The Sultan's young converted wife, Helena of Gothia. This chapter will be in Anastasia's perspective, most of the story will be, but Helena will have her chapters and she certainly has a big role. Special thanks to Dave Williams for the cover image!
The Legacy of The Romans.
Act I.
The Empresses of The Third Rome.
Chapter I.
The Resurrection of Moscow.
I was born in 1604 during a blizzard in Moscow as my father, Tsar Aleksander I Rurikovich and my mother, a Georgian Princess, wondered if the blizzard was a blessing or a curse for us Russians, defending our capital Moscow from a full blown siege by The Poles and The Lithuanians. My father named me Anastasia, meaning resurrection, in hopes that the birth of an heiress would revitalize The Russian defenders - sure enough, when the blizzard was over, it became unseasonably warm, The Poles and Lithuanians had to make their assault through melting snow and mud below - allowing our cannons, our muskets, and at the end, even pikes to tear apart our enemies and repel The Siege of Moscow, The Resurrection of Moscow had worked, now we could enact vengeance on our western neighbor. Aleksander I would muster together armies from every region of Russia for his counterattack, the counterattack that turned a humiliating defeat into a tense status quo. Russia is a massive and powerful Tsardom, located at the crossroads of Europe and Asia and stretching from The Kola Peninsula in the north to Astrakhan in the south and Tsaritsyn in the west to Yekaterinburg in the east. Yekaterinburg was the so-called Gateway to Siberia from which we could spread across The Steppes just like The Mongols had four centuries prior, but this time, this time we would be the conquerors. The Baltic could be our Gateway to Europe, where we intoxicate the west with the riches of The Third Rome, gold from Siberia, Silk from The Orient courtesy of the northernmost branches of The Silk Road. Yekaterinburg would open up the east and The Baltic would open up the south, yet the question that gnawed at Russia is that of a Gateway to the south, the south, where the routes to Persia and The Mediterranean await, but it's also where war with The Ottoman Empire is certain. The Tsardom of Russia is locked in a cage formed by The Ottomans, The Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth, The Kingdom of Sweden, and the various Mongol and Tatar successor states in the form of the many Khanates of central Asia and of Siberia, it would took the strongest rulers Russia has seen in centuries to break out of this cage.
It was now 1622 and the unexpected death of The Tsar two months ago has left The Tsardom in an interesting position, given that Aleksander had no male children, I was crowned Tsarina Anastasia I with my younger sisters Yelizaveta and Sofiya as my heirs, this would seem like a weakness, this would seem like the perfect time to strike, yet no one did, not yet. The Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth did not mobilize hordes of Winged Hussars to charge across the steppes of Ruthenia into Russia, The Ottomans remained preoccupied with their wars in Persia, The Khanates in the east and the south were busy with their usual in-fighting, and The Swedes turned their attention to The Holy Roman Empire, which is currently being torn apart by religious warfare - decentralized, weak, corrupt, and torn apart by internal warfare...everyone now knew that the Austrian dominated monstrosity occupying most of central Europe was nothing more than a ruinous mutual defensive pact that, regardless of the result of this war, would forever be divided between Catholics and Protestants, Moscow is the only city worthy of the title of being The Third Rome, not any city in The Holy Roman Empire or Constantinople and its skyline filled with nothing but minarets erected all around what had been Orthodox churches built by The Byzantine Empire, The Second Rome. Conquest does not make The Ottomans the successors to The Byzantines, it is our religious lineage and our dynastic ties to The Palailogos Dynasty. Moscow may be a lot colder and a lot farther from the coast than either Rome or Constantinople, but that didn't change the fact that I was now The Tsarina, Tsarina is the feminine form of Tsar, and Tsar is The Russian translation of Caesar, the title of The Roman Emperor.
I made sure that Moscow was in order before my sisters and I returned to our home in Kolomenskoye, the summer estates of The Tsar...now mine. I could get from Kolomenskoye to Moscow in an hour, the estate was even on The Moskva River that shares its name with the capital city, therefore, there was certainly no issue in us being here, I could respond to any emergency almost as quickly as I could if I was living in Moscow itself, it worked out for my father anyway. My sisters and I now had some privacy and we were in more familiar surroundings, I decided to go and speak to Yelizaveta, The Tsarevna.
"Hello sister," I greeted, wearing an ornate black dress with silver, white, gold, and red trim, a simple golden tiara served as my dress crown, set in my blonde hair and sitting above my blue eyes, my sixteen year old sister wore a similar white dress with silver and gold trim, her complexion matched mine, I suspect that the blonde and blue eyed complexion is a relic of our Viking past as descendants of Rurik, The Viking conqueror of Kiev who laid the foundation for The Kievan Rus. My sister sat on one end of a couch, looking at the window at our vast estates with an open book in her lap. I joined her, I noticed that she shut the book slowly but abruptly. I decided not to pay much mind to the book quite yet and instead I looked out of the window at The Tsardom of Russia along with my sister and heiress, knowing that we could turn a realm that was already bigger than anything else in Europe into something far greater and have it stretch across Asia and perhaps even across The Pacific, perhaps we could join The Spaniards, The English, The Portuguese, and The French as colonial powers in The New World, the possibilities were endless, but I need to be strong in order to give Russia the momentum we need to finish this century as the greatest power in Europe, given that I was only eighteen, I very well may rule Russia for the vast majority of the century, but if I'm wrong, I need to be able to have Yelizaveta and Sofiya strong enough, educated enough, experienced enough, to take my place without letting Russia so much as skip a beat, so much as a misstep could set Russia back decades in relation to our current and future neighbors "Are you happy to be back home?"
"Yes, Moscow is dreadful isn't it? So many bloodthirsty politicians at each other's throats, so many farmers complaining about their Serfs escaping to cities, as constant border reports as if The Ottomans, Poles, and Khanates will all attack us at once." Yelizaveta complained - part of me understood where she was coming from, but the ruler within me understood that this was simply the reality of life for a Tsarina, I had to deal with politicians and their power games because I needed administrators, diplomats, and logistical officers, I had to enforce my laws when it came to Serfdom and landownership, and I needed to know if a border skirmish was brewing, I don't to miss it if today is the day that the border report is an actual threat. IF Yelizaveta is to become my successor, then she will need to be ready for the exact same scenarios.
"I know Yelizaveta, it annoys me too, but father had to deal with it too and I'm sure he was just as annoyed as we are, it's just the reality of being a ruler." I gently reminded her, careful to suppress the meaner parts of my internal monologue, I didn't want to seem like I was drilling anything into her head, after all, she's only two years younger than me so it's not like I'm dramatically smarter than she is "But hey, we're here in Kolomenskoye and things will be a little bit more peaceful for awhile, but in the autumn I intend to really begin my rule over Russia, expanding our borders, building Churches and Palaces for glory, and crushing our enemies, we'll have a legacy, that I promise you."
"You definitely have lofty goals," my little sister laughed "You don't have to rebuild Russia in a day Nastya, we're young, we're healthy, don't let the crown force you to grow up overnight."
"Maybe I want to grow up overnight." I grinned, she just shook her head and opened up her book, careful not to let me see the contents. This aroused my curiosity, I scooted closer to her to see what she was reading, she moved the book away from me but I got on top of her and grabbed it before pulling back to my original position, leaving my little sister flushed and defeated, her secrets were mine now - I saw the words that told me everything I needed to know: love, passion, lips, and...wait...it was two women. I looked Yelizaveta in the eyes, she averted my gaze, staring off into distance, I decided to ask the question "Are you...?"
"Yes," she answered, not even letting me say the word, as if everything would remain normal as long as neither of us said the word, I could mentally imagine dismantling The Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth, gaining access to The Black Sea as well as control of Kiev in the process, but I had no idea how to address this - I suppose that from a religious perspective, I should be mad, homosexuality is prohibited in The Russian Orthodox Church, from a political perspective, I should be mad because this meant that my sister wouldn't want to marry our produce children, and from a social perspective, I should be mad because I would have to ward off her male suitors and perhaps even hide her female lovers, but I wasn't mad. I didn't know what to feel.
"How long have you known?" I asked after a pregnant pause, obeying her wishes and avoiding the word, I could be as vague as possible and both of us would still know what I'm talking about, this wasn't exactly an everyday phenomenon. I'm sure that homosexuality isn't that rare, but how many people in Russia have the courage to even consider the possibility let alone accept it?
"A year and a half," Yelizaveta answered, still avoiding my gaze, scared of where this line of questioning would go - I wouldn't turn this into some sort of inquisition, I was just curious, it's not everyday that I learn a fundamental revelation about my sister through her reading choices. I was trying to do my best and be a supportive big sister but I felt that in order to do that, I had do be informed.
"How did you find out?"
"I..I kissed a servant girl. She was my age, she liked me, and I know that no one would ever believe her so I kissed her and I liked it and..." Yelizaveta started stammering as tears started flowing from her eyes and she got choked up to the point that she could do nothing more than to sob. I hated to see my sister crying, but on the other hand, this was at least something that I could deal with.
"Oh Liz," I pulled her close to me and let her sob into my neck, stroking her long blonde hair. I tried to avoid letting her sexuality bother me despite the proximity, I could feel hot tears flow down onto my collarbone and I felt her arms tighten around my waist, I held her close nonetheless, we were sisters after all...I mean that didn't stop The Borgia...no, it's my little sister crying and me comforting her, that is all that it is, don't make it more than it is. My sister is a homosexual, that didn't mean that she's some sort of incestuous pervert. I had to be strong, strong for my sister, so I let her cry until all the tears in her body were expunged, I let her release a year and a half of pent up confusion and inner turmoil into my shoulder. I felt the tears stop and Yelizaveta remained there for a few more moments before sitting up and cleaning herself up a little bit more, wiping the tears. I adjusted the strap of my dress from where she had cried, the frills were a bit crushed but I hardly cared, it was now summer so I wouldn't be wearing a black dress like this much at all, even if it was sleeveless.
"Thank you," she said, Yelizaveta never had the chance to cry about this, she didn't want to tell anyone about it while my father was alive and it took me taking her book by force and figuring it out on my own for her to admit it to me, she couldn't cry to a servant because servants shouldn't see royalty cry and I'm not sure if the servant she kissed would take Liz crying very well, but I'm her older sister, I'm her flesh and blood family, and I'm the one that didn't get mad when finding out, I wasn't prepared for this at all, but at least I was managing so far, letting her cry it out.
"You're welcome Liz, I'm sorry for asking so many questions." I apologized, I know that I pressed too far, too quickly, my sister didn't even want to reveal her sexuality from me and moments later I was asking her about how she knew her sexuality, sure I can ask those questions eventually, but I did go too far too quickly, this was the equivalent of shooting a fort with a few cannonballs and immediately charging a fort and then acting surprised when the wall is still fully formed, I rushed it and I would never get the result that I wanted. I would never make the fortress mistake if I was leading troops as The Tsarina and I should never make this sort of mistake as a big sister again.
"No need to apologize Nastya, I should've told you a year and a half ago, you shouldn't have had to steal my book to find out." Liz replied, her eyes stained from crying but she wasn't sad anymore, she got it out of her system, she wasn't exactly happy yet, but she was better off than she had been earlier, her answer gave the down-to-Earth maturity that I was used to, she was young and she had a lot on her plate, but she was helping me stay grounded despite my ambitions and my more belligerent nature - I could already imagine Yelizaveta worked hard to reign me in while I try to push even faster and faster for my plan of getting Russia to the top, even if I know that trying to expand everything about Russia so quickly would likely push our borders too far, stress our economy too much, and cut too many corners with rapid construction in cities, someone like Yelizaveta would measure the rapid growth that I had planned for Russia, therefore, we could become the perfect team, The Tsarina and her brilliant sister, one a ruler, the other a realist.
"You don't have to tell me anything until you're ready." I assured her, there would be no more interrogation for today, I would pry more information out of her later, at a slower rate. There was a pregnant pause as neither of us knew what to do now, a massive bombshell was dropped, tears were shed, apologies were made, and now both of us sat here, I wanted to be here for my sister and Yelizaveta didn't have anything to do now that we were here in Kolomenskoye away from the hustle and bustle of Moscow - Yelizaveta would be Tsarina if anything happened to me, but I could tell from her complaint earlier that she would be happier as my right-hand woman than she would as The Tsarina herself.
"So," Yelizaveta eventually broke the silence, finally turning to face me, my blue eyes and her interlocked, I could see a small relief smile on her face and the same expression echoed ten times louder in her eyes, my sister felt as if a massive burden was off her shoulders, sure life in Moscow isn't what she wanted, but that was never what really bothered her, what bothered her was having to deal with all of that on top of the pent up drama of her newfound sexuality, of course it was stressful for her, learning her sexuality, our father's death swiftly followed by my coronation, and the looming possibility of war - war was certainly still possible, perhaps they'll mistaken my two months of caution for inaction and weakness - but I think that we've weathered the worst of it now, I may have been a Tsarina, but I was determined to be a good sister as well as a good ruler.
"So what?" I asked.
"Well...what about you?" Yelizaveta asked, I thought that I knew what she was asking about...but why would she ask that? I haven't done anything to give conclusive evidence about my sexuality either way, as far as I know, I'm straight, but I've never had any reason to question that before today. I haven't felt any sexual or even romantic feelings for a man yet, but I've never met or seen a man who I would marry yet, I couldn't marry a local politician or a local noble, that was not befitting of a Tsarina, I'd have to marry a Prince at very least and I haven't encountered any Princes quite yet, surely when I do, then I'll feel something, but right now, my little sister coming out to me is my only experience with sexuality.
"What about me?" I asked, making sure that we were both on the same page here, I didn't want to make a fool out of myself trying to make sense of my sexuality as a virgin who hasn't even had her first kiss at eighteen if I didn't need to.
"Well...are you?" She was asking exactly what I thought she was asking.
"I..." I honestly didn't know how to answer, as I said I have no experience to go off of, Yelizaveta at least had her first kiss to base her sexuality off of, I didn't even have that much. I think I'm straight because that's what I've always thought of as the default sexuality, I hadn't even encountered a homosexual before today, much less expected my own sister to be one "I don't know, honestly...why are you asking anyway?"
"I don't know...I think you are." Yelizaveta gave a shrug, I could've asked why she thought that or what she thinks that I can do, but I reckon that it's just a hunch, but her guess is as good as mine, she grabbed the book and looked over to me, no longer ashamed of its sinful contents, nor was I outraged by her reading it, in a few short questions Liz changed the whole conversation, it went from being about her revealing her sexuality to me into me doubting my own sexuality...if there were points for this sort of thing, I've definitely lost, all I've really been able to accomplish through this is getting Liz to answer a few questions and then cry until she couldn't cry anymore, meanwhile, she's spun my whole perception of my sexuality on its head, and all of it became because I skimmed through and caught a few choice words from that book of hers "Do you want to read a little bit?"
"Sure, why not?" I responded, no harm in it I suppose, I scooted next to Yelizaveta as she opened the book across her laps, her sexuality but this close intimacy into a new light, but I wasn't afraid, she's gay, maybe we're both gay, I don't know at this point, but we're sisters and if this book is going to change the context of our relationship from here on out, then I might as well get through more of this book that just a few telling words, I turned to my sister, well aware that our faces are as close as they have been thus far and I asked her "What's it about anyway?"
"Two women, Tatiana and Yekaterina, both of them are the daughters of nobles in Tsaritsyn reaching maturity and beginning a secret affair. Yekaterina is the adventurous one, always ready to try something knew with Tatiana, but Tatiana will always match Yekaterina touch for touch, never letting her lover keep the upper hand...the author, a woman from Tsaritsyn...is very descriptive." Yelizaveta explained, excited as her face began to blush a bright red, this was certainly a very raunchy book, I have to admit, I didn't think that Yelizaveta would go for such a vulgar novel, but I learned a lot of new things about my sister, and potentially, I'm going to start learning about myself, maybe I'm gay, maybe I'm straight, maybe I'm somewhere in between, but thanks to Yelizaveta, I was eager to find out, though, a thought occurred to me...if I'm gay and she's gay, then...
"You realize, Liz, that if you're right about me being...like you, then Sofiya will kills us both." I pointed out, our twelve year old little sister would go from third in line to the throne to the one responsible for continuing on our dynasty.
"Oh...oh wow." Liz realized it too before smirking at me "Well, you're the older one so I'm sure that she'll deal with you first."
Light-hearted moment over with, the two of us dived into the romantic and sexual lives of Yekaterina and Tatiana...very interesting lives indeed.
I spent the rest of the day wandering around Kolomenskoye, unable to get the thoughts of Yelizaveta's book out of my idea, the images of lips pressed against lips, bodies and breasts pressed together as hands wandered anywhere and everywhere, I could even hear the shrieks of pleasure from Tatiana as Yekaterina left a trail of soft kisses down her stomach - Yelizaveta wasn't wrong, it certainly was a descriptive book...where the Hell could she have possibly found it? Erotica lesbian literature, printed in perfect Russian no less, is not a particularly common thing in 17th Century Russia. Perhaps the middle child of The Royal Family wasn't quite as innocent as I had believed. I was in this confused and ponderous state when I entered one of the larger sitting rooms in Kolomenskoye only to see the last thing I wanted to see on a day like this - minor Muscovite nobility - the very politicians we were trying to avoid by coming here had followed us from Moscow - two of them showered Sofiya with gifts while my fifteen year old younger sister - just eleven months younger than Yelizaveta - put on a fake smile and gave fake praise to the sycophantic nobles: good girl. Three of them, including a General, stood in a serious semi-circle and talked quickly in hushed tones, my hearing was strong enough that I caught the word Sultan. Oh no, first my whole understanding of my own sexuality is ripped apart and now The Ottomans were up to something again - was it a border skirmish? Did they beat The Persians? Did The Persians beat them? Did The Europeans muster together yet another ragtag army of Venetians, Germans, and Hungarians to go on an ill-fated Crusade?
"Tsarina Anastasia I," a butler announced my presence, I mumbled out a thank you as the nobles turned to me, I heard a sigh of relief from Sofiya as the General took the lead, approaching me and bowing, taking his large hat off of his bearded head as a show of respect, the other nobles followed suit. One wanted to kiss my hand but I refused him, I hardly needed to add fuel to the fire of sexual confusion burning within me.
"My Tsarina, my name is General Vladimir Perevernykruchenko, I commanded The Cossacks for your father, the late Tsar Aleksander I. My colleagues and I bring both good news and bad news from The Turks." The General announced, The Cossacks were the cream of the crop of The Russian Cavalry, dominating The Steppe just as Tatar horseman had before them. They were loyal supports of The Tsardom, perhaps even more loyal than The Russian infantry regiments that make up the majority of our army.
"Very well General Perevernykruchenko, tell me the bad news first." I stood up perfectly straight and crossed my arms behind me back, doing my best to come across as the personification of the ideal Tsarina - beautiful, smart, perfect posture, perfect manners, soft-spoken yet brutal and efficient - Russia was surrounded by powerful enemies and I would have to be absolutely cutthroat to realize my ambitions of dismantling The Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth, trampling The Khanates, eviscerating The Ottomans, and decimating The Swedes.
"Yes my Tsarina. The Sultan has crushed The Persians, conquering Armenia and push all the way to Baku on The Caspian Sea, our allies in Georgia are threatened, if The Ottomans attack The Georgians, only The Caucasus Mountains will separate us from The Turk." General Perevernykruchenko explained - we would have to intervene if Georgia was threatened, especially since my mother was a Georgian Princess. The Ottomans already border us due to their absorption of The Crimean Khanate into their realm, they stand in our way to The Black Sea and now they stand in our way to Persia, war between us is all but certain, the tensions go back centuries, ever since The Orthodox Church fled Constantinople to Moscow, making Russia The Third Rome and The Ottomans nothing more than conquerors even if they present themselves as Islamic Romans.
"And the good news?" I asked, hoping that it would balance out The Sultan's conquests. The Ottomans already controlled virtually all of North Africa with the exception of Morocco, much of The Arabian Peninsula, The Levant, Baghdad, Crimea and the surrounding Steppe, and now they ere encroaching on The Caucasus Mountains which have long served as the southern border of Russia following our conquest of The Nogai Khanate and The Great Horde a century ago. Both Russia and The Ottomans have one thing in common, as much as it pains me to say, and that is that both of us conquer at an astronomical rate compared to The Europeans, who conquer slowly, incrementally, finding their opponents an even match rather than a vastly unprepared and inferior enemy. We have pushed out of the chains of The Tatar Yoke into the fringes of Siberia, leaving The Siberian Tatars separated from their brothers in Central Asia, both of which we intend to conquer, The Ottomans meanwhile, went from Beyliks in Anatolia to arguably the dominant power of The Mediterranean which influence as far away as The Indian Ocean, but for all their power and influence, they are not Russians, they cannot beat us. War with The Ottomans is inevitable now with what The Sultan has done, but I will deal with my other enemies first, I will not face The Turks until I am ready, and when I'm ready, The Ottomans will be pushed out of The Caucasus and Crimea forever, Crimea shall be our Gateway to The Black Sea and, beyond that, to The Mediterranean, while The Caucasus will be our bastion against Turks and Persians alike - Armenians, Azerbaijanis, and Georgians will serve in a new Army of The Caucasus that will protect of southern flank, much like The Army of Siberia that expands our possessions beyond Yekaterinburg every day, building roads, bridges, and fortifications that extend our reach farther and farther into Siberia, or The Army of The Tsar here in European Russia, this is the army that I intend to use very soon.
"On his way back from his Persian campaign, the young Sultan was betrayed by his Levantine bodyguards - he was stabbed forty-six times before The Janissaries reached him - he perished before they could even think of helping him. The Sultan was only nineteen and he had killed all seven of his brothers and two of his cousins to get the throne, this left his one year old son as Sultan. I don't know yet who will become his regent, but I would suspect The Grand Vizier." General Perevernykruchenko explained, his noble colleagues nodded in agreement. This was very important and very interesting news, The Sultan died young without any brothers left to succeed him, such an event has never happened before, The Ottomans have gone from strong ruler to strong ruler ever since they conquered Constantinople, but with Sultan Suleyman III dead and The Ottoman Empire faced with a regency, this could finally be the moment of weakness that everyone in Europe and countless people in Asia have been waiting for...this had to be too good to be true.
"Are you sure?" I asked as my brain filled with plans and opportunities now that The Ottomans were teasing us with weakness - something finally managed to wrestle my brain from perverse thoughts of Yekaterina and Tatiana from Yelizaveta's book, if only for a moment. I wanted to be absolutely sure of this before I let myself get too excited. The new Sultan was only one, I had over a decade to exploit their weaknesses, but The Poles, Swedes, and Tatars would let their guard down thinking that I would pounce on The Ottomans - I could prepare full invasion armies under their noses with all of Europe thinking that I was going to invade The Ottomans, only to march my troops every direction but south, perhaps I could even regain the old Rurikovich heartlands in Ruthenia and Byelorussia, the lands around The Medieval Russian capital of Kiev. I would be patient with The Ottomans, the more valuable lands were in Polish-Lithuanian hands, not in the greedy paws of The Turk, control of The Baltic was in Swedish hands, not Ottoman ones, and the lands of northern Asia were held by numerous petty Khanates rather than in the hands of The Turkish conquerors of Constantinople.
"I'm positive." a nobleman next to The General replied.
"Very well then gentlemen, I will meet you in Moscow in a week to plan for war." I told them, they no doubt assumed that I was referring to The Ottomans as they shuffled out of my home and left Kolomenskoye, but that's fine, they will learn soon enough that my first target is The Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth with its port of Zaporozhe providing us with a first of many ports on The Black Sea. I sat down as my brain cleared itself of politics and thoughts of that damned book started taking over yet again, with a mental grown I turned to Sofiya, my other sister, and hoped that I could distract myself from these blatantly homosexual thoughts with a conversation with the fifteen year old, she placed their unnecessarily bejeweled gifts in a chest that she probably won't open for months before feasting on chocolate - apparently the nobles had realized that all the gold and jewels in the world couldn't impress Sophie nearly as much as chocolate, an increasingly popular sweet made with these cocoa beans from The New World "Hello Sofiya."
"Nastya," she greeted, her mouth stuffed with chocolate - it took her another minute to even consider that I want some too, but even then, her mouth was still filled to the brim with chocolate "Want some?"
"Yes actually," I said as she handed me part of her chocolate bar, this particular concoction was from The Duchy of Brabant within The Spanish Netherlands, ruled by Spain yet part of The Holy Roman Empire, its position near the major trading powers of France and The Netherlands, as well as being part of the mighty Spanish Empire which controlled most of The New World meant that Brabant was well situated to get those cocoa beans to make this chocolate - I certainly liked it, though unlike Sophie, I could at very least chew and swallow it before talking, even if my brain was intent on turning every single word of that book into a permanent memory "I trust the nobles haven't made you too spoiled."
"Spoiled? Me? Never," Sophie laughed as she licked the chocolate off her lips at sat up straighter on the couch that she had been lounging on, her face cleaned up, her back straight, and the image of an ideal Princess appeared where there had been a lazy teenager being showered with gifts and letting herself devour as much chocolate, the image then twisted itself into my sarcastic young sister aping all the pomp and circumstance of The Russian Court - but it was necessary, The Third Rome must be a grand and opulent place and Moscow must be the grandest and most opulent city of Russia, because Moscow is the capital and Moscow is the seat of our autocephalous Russian Orthodox Church "My blessed Tsarina Anastasia The Great, I am your humble sister, The Tsarevna Sofiya Aleksandrovna Rurikovich, please forgive me for sharing my chocolate with you, after all, you may become fat and a Tsarina cannot be fat!"
"I'm not fat," I huffed in reply, I was thin, probably lighter than Sofiya despite being taller than her - I'm 5'11, the tallest of the three of us, Yelizaveta is 5'9, and the fifteen year old Sofiya trails behind us at 5'4 - she may have been shorter than the two of us, but Sophie was clearly our sister, her blue eyes and blonde her matched ours and her youthful beauty rivaled mine - Yelizaveta was the most attractive of all of us, but it seems that her looks won't be of much use to The Russian Court, it seems that my beauty won't be useful either, therefore, continuing on our lineage fell to the fifteen year old. I know that I should tell her, I should probably tell her now, not only because she had to know that her children would be Tsars or Tsarinas, but because she was our sister and deserved to know that Yelizaveta was gay and that at this point, I was pretty sure I was too. I should've done it, but I didn't, I stayed silent, pretending to be upset because of Sophie's remark but in reality, I was upset because I didn't have the courage to tell my own sister that I was probably a lesbian.
"Well you never know, keep taking bit after bit of chocolate and you may end up as bloated as an Austrian Archduchess." Sophie grinned, deliberately ignoring the fact that she offered me the bit of the chocolate bar and then trying to distract me with a snide at The House von Habsburgs who were Holy Roman Emperors. They had a reputation for inbreeding and their women tended to be notoriously unattractive with heavy, round faces and corsets stressed by holding their waists together while they walked slowly and awkwardly on shoes far too small and far too elegant for the two left feet stuffed into them, nevertheless, The Habsburgs worked their way into countless royal families, including that of Spain and Burgundy, both of which are now Habsburg realms.
"I have to take it from you, if you devour a whole bar once again, you'll have the teeth of an elderly commoner." I retorted, in response, Sofiya just flashed her perfectly straight white teeth, the chocolate wasn't doing anything to stain her perfect teeth, teeth that twisted into a perfect smirk as my little sister thought that she won - Sofiya was all about enjoying royal life, she didn't care much for the diamonds and gold that she got as gifts, but the chocolate, the dresses, and the flowers? Sofiya loved those things and she developed a silver tongue to show false gratitude to these generous nobles and to counter any criticism that Yelizaveta or I could dish out at our sister's increasing extravagance. It wasn't greed or avarice though, she just liked to be happy and she was always ready to make her two older sisters look just as good as she did, sharing her various bejeweled gifts.
"If I'm an elderly commoner, then you're as old as Rurik himself...and still unmarried." Sofiya teased, I cringed as a wave of images of Yekaterina and Tatiana from Yelizaveta came over me...I knew that I wasn't going to marry, I knew that Yelizaveta wasn't going to get married, however, royal custom demands that the youngest daughter cannot marry until after her older sister's have married, that's a custom older than The Tsardom of Russia or our predecessor state The Grand Principality of Muscovy. Tradition was one thing, but I was The Tsarina herself, if I wanted to change the royal customs that I would, but I wouldn't do it unless Sofiya understood the circumstances and agreed to get married first, courage be damned, I had to let Sofiya know that neither myself nor our middle sister were going to get married, even if I wasn't ready to explain why.
"Why should I be married? Maybe I'm happier alone - are you?" I began, I wasn't sure how to get to the topic in question, so I decided that I might as well start with introducing the subject of my fifteen year old sister getting married.
"I want to get married." She answered, cautious now, not sure where this conversation was going to lead "I'll find myself some foreign Prince with a chiseled face and a mind like a Renaissance man, strong enough to carry me off to -"
"Alright!" I interrupted, the imagine of a Prince taking Sofiya off to her chambers disturbed me more than anything...Yelizaveta's hunch was starting to look more and more plausible by the minute "Well...you're almost sixteen, you're almost at a marriageable age, why not find yourself a Prince, you could be married in a few months if that's what you want - you're my sister and I want you to be happy, say the word and I'll do everything I can to make anything and everything happen for you - ask me to move mountains and I'll get every miner in The Tsardom to turn it into a pile of pebbles."
"Aren't you supposed to get married, you're the oldest." Sophie's eyes narrowed, she knew that there was more to this than what I was telling her, she was right, of course, but I still wasn't ready to tell my developing secret and it wasn't my place to reveal her secret.
"So?" I asked "Tradition be damned, if you want to get married, just tell me the second you find your suitor and if that's not what you want, just let me know, I just want for you and Yelizaveta to be happy and for Russia to be prosperous.
"Okay..." Sofiya trailed off, knowing that there's more to know but patient, knowing that I'll tell her when I'm ready.
I tossed and turned in bed that night, my body burning with desire, desire for Yekaterina, desire for Tatiana, desire for the book, and desire for anything feminine, I knew that there was only one day that I was going to get any sleep and that was to surrender to my new sexuality and to sin. I peeled off my undergarments and let my hands sin, embracing the thoughts that have ravaged me all day long. Yelizaveta was right, I was homosexual.
I love you all, peace out!