Another chapter where it wasn't James who found out someone they knew died! 3/3 so far!
HP
The faces of all he'd lost kept flashing across his eyes, swimming there and refusing to leave in a kaleidoscope. Some more recent than others, ones he didn't get the chance to know better and some he'd never known at all still hovering before him. A family he may never see again, and one he'd never had the chance to be with. Then he realized that while one was fading, the other was growing in clarity. It did not erase his knowledge of how much more he had to lose, but only strengthened his resolve to hold onto what he had.
"Hagrid." It was one name on his mind now, the very first person he'd known in his life to care about him, and he had to know now what had become of him.
Remus needed no further prompting, now that he was assured Harry was in the here and now with them to take every word and not suffering, falling further into his past than he could come back from.
Sirius didn't even flinch at the idea of his destroyed bike. Some things really were more important.
"He got to the safe house, please, please tell me he's away and safe in there," Lily was muttering constantly under her breath, holding her still shaking son rather than wringing her hands in stress.
Harry didn't even make a swipe at this old wound now, his attention focused solely on something none of them could see. James tightened his hold on his son with as much reassurance as he could give, trying in vain to quietly remind him Hagrid had survived encounters with giants, a little fall from a bike would be nothing he couldn't walk off. Harry was paying him no mind.
Sirius felt one tiny notch of tension release itself inside of him as he recognized a name at least.
Harry watched those around him try to relax for these surroundings, surely he wasn't still in immediate danger. Harry couldn't fathom such a thing, not until he knew everyone was okay...the image of that crashed bike still fresh in his mind wasn't the only horror still in store for him tonight.
"Add him to the list of people we need to start meeting soon," James said fervently.
"Already in the works," Sirius assured, giving Moony a sidelong look. He honestly wondered if Remus was refusing the idea of a future with Tonks because all he could imagine was the baby picture Sirius had once shown him of her. He really couldn't blame his friend if that was the case.
"Oi!" Sirius protested so loud, Harry finally startled out of his revere, eyes lagging for a moment before they landed on him. "Those Muggle contraptions saved my godsons life! You could show a little respect you bloody, prejudiced-"
"Easy Sirius," Remus easily cut into his rant with practice. "He doesn't know all the details yet, no one was having a go at how you, or Arthur, or even Hagrid handled that bike."
"Think you were having a flashback of your own Pads," James easily agreed, looking no more particularly phased by Sirius' outburst.
Sirius grumbled a bit more before settling, still shaking his head slowly. He'd needed that outburst not just in his bikes defense but to help himself come to grips with hearing the end to his precious machine, perhaps he had gone the wrong way though letting a certain word strike him wrong.
Lily finally exhaled in relief, her worry of some force bursting through that door any second vanishing.
"You're actually not wrong," James agreed, eyes now steadily on Remus in pure concern. His son was safe, but was everyone else? The fact that Harry refused to fully relax again meant that he couldn't either.
Harry managed a breath of his own at last, rubbing in exhaustion at his eyes already. The sting of tears still hovering on edge, but for now being held back.
Harry beamed without a care, knowing he'd give a lot right now to get one of those hugs just to have some absolute assurance nothing ever happened to Hagrid again. He'd been through enough.
Remus winced as Hagrid somehow managed to make the situation sound even worse after the fact, considering he was usually a more optimistic type. He wondered for the first time how Hagrid was coping with the loss of Dumbledore, how much that was affecting everyone at the school on some level.
Remus startled so hard he nearly dropped the book in surprise, all of them feeling like fools for relaxing for even a second now, except Sirius. He just sighed in a resigned sort of way and quickly calmed Moony down to help him keep going, having a fair idea what Harry thought he saw.
Sirius shook his head sadly at Harry as he flushed in understanding an embarrassment. "Yeah, I made a joke for years about Narcissa looking nothing like those two, but the funny part is Andromeda acts nothing like the other two."
"You should never try to predict behavior based on siblings," Lily muttered, her and Sirius sharing a commiserating look when it came to theirs.
"We'd all like to know that," Remus agreed softly, then grimaced when he realized he'd said that out loud and kept going with more force.
No one could even call Remus out on his moment, they felt their own worry gripping them too tight for this being all to true.
"Oh Harry, no!" Lily tried at once to dissuade her son of this. "You can't be thinking like that love, you-"
"I know, I know," Harry surprisingly tried to stall her by agreeing, "they'd have done it whether I agreed or not," his barely controlled panic broke through anyways. "That doesn't change that all of them were out there, because of me, so whatever you say, you can't change that! It was my fault!"
Fear gripped them all, Harry's clear admittance of a loss leaving them breathless as once again all eyes turned to Remus. He cleared his throat awkwardly and went back to finding his place, trying not to let his thoughts show. Was that really such an unbelievable option, was it not in fact a more preferable one after the life he'd suffered? What was there left for him really? He was clinging now to a woman he had no right to be with, if he had any feelings for her at all. After what happened to Prongs, then Padfoot...wasn't going out protecting George from some Death Eater as honorable as he could ask for? He kept these thoughts on the fringe, preparing them for his friends in comfort as he kept on.
James and Lily were still paler than they knew they should be, they knew exactly how those parents were feeling, their own child never could seem to stay out of danger.
"Right, yeah, never forgot for a second," Sirius agreed in a passable attempt at convincing them all.
"The fact that you do at all is what matters," Lily promised.
"They understand," James assured, "otherwise they never would have offered their own home open."
Harry smiled as he remembered Gideon Prewett just popping in here days ago, and how affectionately his family spoke of most members of the Order. It was clear his parents had the same open door policy.
Harry wrapped his arm around his torso, still feeling that hole inside him as his eyes rested on his fathers orange screech owl, still only seeing his snowy white.
"No shame in that at all," James reassured at once, as he saw the wet gleam still there in his sons eyes. "I've had Click nearly ten years now, and while I know he's still got some great years to go, I know he's also getting on. Anything could happen, so love them while you can, yeah?" He even smirked down at Hickory, twining around Lily's legs and purring as she struggled to keep her own supportive look in place rather than bursting into tears with her son.
Harry nestled between the two, feeling safe for just this one moment as he went back through every memory he had of Hedwig.
'Not long enough,' Harry still couldn't help thinking to himself, but took whatever comfort he could in the knowledge at least she had not suffered.
They all gave a sigh of relief for that, no one wanted anymore delays for the rest of their life after the start to this nightmare of an evening.
Harry's breath caught in his throat. Something was wrong, wrong, wrong! He just knew it! No amount of comfort from his surrounding family would help him feel otherwise.
"Oh Harry," Lily sighed, brushing her hand across his bangs, her hand still hesitating for a moment over the scar. She knew nothing she said could convince him of this otherwise.
Then she beamed, wishing she could pull Molly into her own hug for being there for her son.
"Mmm, it's a wonder Pomfrey didn't keep a whole personal supply of her own then," Remus muttered.
Harry was sure his innards were seizing in stress. Not right, something was most definitely not right! He had to help them, something was terribly wrong...but despite his absolute certainty, he could not grasp if it was the Weasley's or Tonks. Both? The harder he tried, the more painful his head became, until he wished he could remove it. The only feeling he had left to cling to was gratitude. He clung to his parents, who weren't making false promises, but instead their faces were as lined with worry as his.
"Sirius," Remus muttered, trying to tug his arm away before it got left with a permanent bruise.
"Shush, keep going," was the only thing Sirius would respond with, clearly uncaring that his hold on Moony was hindering Remus just slightly, though not enough he couldn't keep reading, just forced to hold the book at a slightly awkward angle.
They didn't have a second to breathe in relief that at least their own friend was safe, Remus hadn't been satisfied with his appearance being confirmed. He'd kept going without pause, to see the consequences for everyone else.
A scream was already building in Harry's throat as he tried to jump to his feet, his need to help twisting away at him for his family. His mum caught him, gently easing him back down by her side. "I know love, we care about him too. As much as we've learned about him, we may as well adopt the lot," she tried at a strained version of a laugh that didn't make a single impact on Harry, but he at least registered her voice, knew no matter what all he could do was relive.
Harry felt like he'd been punched in his own ear. Even having been there, to see the gruesome sight in person he struggled to put such an image to his eyes now, instead of the laughing faces he knew so well. Still that was slipping past him frighteningly quickly, he was beginning to fear he'd never see the twins laugh again.
Lily couldn't stop a sob from escaping even as she pressed even closer to her child. It felt like they knew these kids, had watched them age with Harry, and now to hear something of this magnitude, something so permanent happening to them at this age.
James swore at nothing, his eyes focused elsewhere. His determination to stop this madness before it ever harmed was as high as it could to save his son, and every other soul this tragedy should never touch.
Remus and Sirius exchanged aghast looks. By this point they were no strangers to the horror of this future, their own still haunted them plenty. It still didn't fail to cause sick feelings anew for it to affect someone they'd never even really met.
"Oi!" James snapped at once.
"Remus," Lily yelped in clear concern, for both Harry and him.
Sirius' jaw clenched painfully, he didn't know weather to be worried or angry, and the indecision was going to drive him mad. His hold on his friend hadn't loosened much and was now more painful than ever. Remus didn't mind, it was the only thing keeping him going, to understand for their sake.
"Rude!" James stated for emphasis, still half tempted to knock Remus over the head even though it wasn't his Moony doing this.
Sirius was still watching him with a bug-eyed expression, while Remus kept going hoping he had a very good reason for doing this, or he'd be regretting it in here in mere moments.
"Oh," all four of them muttered in understanding, while Harry's scowl became more pronounced.
"You suspect me!"
"Don't be ridiculous Harry," Remus scoffed, looking even more testy and frustrated than when he hadn't understood what he was doing. "I was checking to see if you were you. Someone passed on information, we were ambushed, I'm going to be checking everyone is who they say there are, then move on to seeing who it was to do this." He finished with a twisted expression as he gazed at nothing, somehow looking older now than he even had to Harry when this was happening.
Harry suddenly realized he'd spoken to Remus as if in present tense, as if asking Lupin now what was going on, and shame colored his insides as he realized Remus would still think he'd never separate the one he'd known and the man he'd never really gotten a chance to meet.
"When I get my hands on that greasy-haired traitor, he won't have a tongue to be passing anything else on," Sirius vowed. None of them had a clue how Snape had gotten his information, it was beyond them anyone present had done this. Yet they once would have said the same about another...no one felt safe.
"Bloody hell, I'm not sure I remember that," Lily muttered in frustration, though admittedly if he'd asked anything more vague it could be too well known of her son.
"A grindylow," the boys answered together, while she sighed and ran her hand through her hair.
Harry was still rubbing his arm and looking frustrated, though not so much at Remus now that he understood. James still looked like he wanted to smack Remus, he did not appreciate the reminder people grabbed hold of his son so easily.
"The same reason no one's going to check me," Remus muttered, his tone holding complete disgust.
Sirius finally released his hold and smacked him upside the head, muttering about his mate being an arse.
"That is a very good point," Lily quickly agreed. "Sn-Snape-" the boys politely ignored how hard it was for her to spit out his name, "he must have learned this in some other way, ease dropping somehow, no direct betrayal, or he would know everything."
"I can't wish you're right," James sighed, "but it seems the best outcome we could hope for."
"I'm glad you still catch on the important things," Sirius agreed, he'd worry about Snape last, and any future plans involving Harry around Voldemort first.
"Why do you assume it's something I'd done?" Harry muttered, but quietly enough he hoped the bitter words hadn't been heard. He still felt some kind of inexplicable anger at Remus, like he was in trouble for something he didn't understand.
"That he managed such a spell, the best option really, in such a moment of crisis? Yeah, I was too," James agreed with an arched brow, well aware that wasn't the expression Remus was trying to hide. He certainly agreed with his friend Harry had honestly been a bit of a fool this move, but the way Remus had started this wasn't likely to go well.
"Still offering up those median answers," Sirius sighed, chewing on his lip rather than asking what Remus had done while he was in that fight, it's not as if Harry knew. Sirius wasn't even sure he wanted to know.
Harry wasn't wrong, they'd all in fact been well aware of this fact during that fight. For Remus to be bringing this up now as wisdom after the fact bothered the parents greatly, as they were reminded now more than ever whatever they thought of Harry's actions had never been shared through someone who knew them.
"You're comparing me to him!" Remus looked genuinely offended. "I'm trying to help you understand, not mock you!"
"Felt the same from where I was standing," Harry grumbled.
Remus ran his hand painfully through his hair, letting the book sag for a moment as he truly processed how little impact he'd had on Harry's life. At thirteen he'd effortlessly made a class respect and understand his teachings, now a boy he considered family couldn't hear him on such a life-important matter. He wanted to argue his point further, but at the last moment bit his tongue to see what else had come out wrong. Harry was non-so-subtly having some sort of issue with him over there.
Sirius couldn't help but rub the back of his neck awkwardly as he defended Harry's outraged look on Remus. "Be honest Harry, if you hadn't recognized Stan as a person, what would you have done?"
He hesitated, even bit his lip for a moment as if to stop himself answering, before quietly admitting, "stun him again." Then he quickly blasted on, "it's different! I thought they were all Death Eater's out there on Voldemort's orders to try and kill me! Stan didn't know what he was doing! After I realized that, I would have shot Expelliarmus at all of them!"
"Even if, say, Bellatrix had shown up under one of those hoods?" Remus persisted his point, ignoring his own wince of bringing her up.
Harry opened his mouth to retaliate, then closed it again with an ugly look still set in place. The moment he'd tried to use an Unforgivable on her had been in a state of emotion, the playback of Sirius falling through that veil still in his mind when he'd shot that curse at her. He could not say now, in this moment or the scenario being concocted, what he would have done again.
James nodded as if Remus' point had been made, then and now. He couldn't stop himself to say in emphasis to his friend, "I can't ask you to sit there and think of the consequences of every spell before you throw them, but I do urge you never to grow complacent of your actions."
Harry still felt like he was being scolded, but he nodded and bit back an unneeded retort.
"Is that really a thing?" Lily couldn't help but protest on her sons behalf, he was still spluttering and unsure if he even should argue the point.
"It has been known to happen, when one becomes lax and tries to use one spell to get out of any situation. Especially if Harry is going to continue into being an Auror, Moody will not be pleased if that does turn into a recurring spell rather than using a variety of them," James admitted.
Harry winced for some reason other than this conversation, but quickly shook his head to ignore the mounting pain.
"Aren't there benefits to it though," Sirius countered, a smile on his face making Harry wonder if he wasn't arguing just for the fun of it. "To master one rather than be alright in everything."
"Well yes Sirius, but no one asked you on your ability to snog others rather than be in a relationship with them," Remus snipped back.
Sirius held his hands up in surrender while Harry chuckled, the tension being pretty well erased from this room.
"That's my boy," James beamed. Harry couldn't help but blush faintly and sit up a little straighter. He honestly would have thought he'd be scolded for talking back to his dads old friend.
"A valid point," Remus conceded, causing Harry to smile at him again.
Lily muttered something about the poor dear and strengthening every bit of furniture in her house just for him. Merlin, she probably needed to do it anyways, as rough as her boys could get messing around this house.
Lily pressed a shaking hand to her mouth to muffle another sob, while James didn't bother masking his deep sounds of remorse. Another soul who had not deserved the loss he'd taken.
Lily spluttered in confused outrage while Harry tensed for a fight. No matter his agitation at Remus, he'd still defend him in whatever attack this fake Kingsley tried to dish out!
James and Sirius exchanged surprised looks though, before James reasoned out, "just because a Polyjuice potion wouldn't work on him, doesn't mean they couldn't try to disguise themselves as him some other way," James said slowly.
"Harry very obviously knows, but perhaps Kingsley hasn't spent enough time around him to be sure of the finer details," Sirius halfheartedly agreed. Neither liked the idea much, they'd always thought Remus was safe from this particular risk of being taken and replaced.
"What on Earth were they talking about for this to be in dispute?" James muttered, he still didn't like Remus having to be asked a question at all, let alone an answer that would never be questioned.
"The Order knew as surely as anyone Dumbledore and Harry were having private meetings," Sirius offered. "Maybe they were asking if they could help, and that was Dumbledore's response."
"Very thoroughly," Lily sniffed, she still didn't like the idea of one of his uncles manhandling him like Remus had, no matter how upset he was.
Everyone around Harry sobered up at that. Even knowing the two they cared for most in that group were safe did not mean in any way they wanted to hear of something happening to anyone else Harry cared about.
Harry hardly heard them, he'd already known as much. Instead he could hear the soft echo of a conversation in the back of his mind, of Hermione shivering and whispering about suddenly seeing a thesteral in midair like that.
Lily furrowed her brow for a moment before announcing, "you know, I've just realized, that would actually be the first time Hermione, Merlin most of the Order really had seen Voldemort in person."
"To think she's been believing him since eleven without proof until now," Remus agreed with a small smile, wishing Hermione were here just for the fun of hearing what she'd have to say to them for that.
Harry just smiled softly as he thought again about all his friends, as much family to him as those around him.
Harry still gave Lupin a disgruntled look for the tone he'd used then, though Remus had read it now in an almost defensive tone. For himself or Harry's actions he wasn't really sure. He'd hardly denied he was thinking the same thing as he would be in the future.
There were several disgruntled and disgusted sounds for this news, they truly couldn't rely on anyone outside the Order anymore at this rate.
Lily and James shivered again for the reminder, both imagining poor Arthur and the rest of the family's reaction to such a thing happening. As if the family hadn't suffered enough over the years.
"Snape!" All five of them snapped in purest disgust. As if he hadn't done enough to wreck their lives, now here he was maiming children he'd once taught! Remus had left his job because of the mere idea he could, and this vile excuse for a human had joined in the attack against the Order! What if that had been Harry!
James brushed his hand right under his eye, where a faint scar still stood from when Snivellus had once done much the same to him, while Lily nearly blacked out from rage at the very idea. Snape would pay for this if it was the last thing they did.
"I can't imagine him prioritizing you were okay rather than announcing, pointlessly, the useless life-form who'd done it," James told him with a straight face.
Harry still huffed and grumbled it made a difference to him.
"He had a lot of practice," Sirius muttered darkly, while Lily managed to go even more white than before, she seemed more likely to pass out by the moment the more of his deeds were exposed. She couldn't imagine, didn't want to hear the cries of scared students who'd suddenly been cursed, for practice...
"You did good Moony, don't doubt that," Sirius gave him a grateful pat on the shoulder, unwilling to admit he may not have done the same in his anger. Remus was much better at prioritizing.
"I have full confidence you'll get your chance to return the favor," James snapped, though his stomach clenched painfully at the idea just as much. He'd rather shove his last remaining friend into a hole with his newlywed-wife, hear about how those two were getting on. Maybe laugh and compare, something fun compared to the pain of Moony in a fight for his life, again.
"You'd think someone would fix that by now," Lily muttered, though admittedly it was the last thing she'd thought of in this chaos of a night.
The five of them all shivered as one, all knowing they'd have stepped in front of that spell to save him if they could, even knowing something worse could have happened.
Harry gazed around him, at all the ghastly faces realizing this again and again. He found it amazing really, that they all cared so much for someone they'd never met, but through his life they already knew how much they did care about someone else. He felt near tears again for the dozenth time already today, at how lucky he was to have this family now and then.
"I honestly don't even think she'd blink," Lily muttered, knowing her priorities now would be on her injured child, and two others comforting each other in that way would only be a small blip on her radar.
"Hagrid...?" Sirius tried in confusion even while everyone tensed in concern, that impostor idea still lingering heavily in the air.
Sadly, even with the answer, no one could relax anymore than before.
"Be afraid," James agreed with the father at once. No one needed to ask a further question, they merely wished they could protect Arthur from what he was fixing to see.
"I hardly can, and I've seen some things," Remus muttered.
Remus actually brightened for a moment, reading with just the slightest bit more ease in his voice not all was lost. This family still had many more chances to talk to George, he was safe. He just wished he could say the same for everyone...
Remus choked on the word, his face twisting like he'd accidentally bitten his tongue in shock. The others didn't look any better for a moment, now living in fear one of the twins had lost their bloody mind.
Harry slumped back in his seat in relief while everyone around him laughed for something as simple as a little joke still existing during all of this. Harry still didn't feel up for it, they all seemed to be forgetting the idea that he was still responsible, that George would not have had this happen to him at all if it wasn't for him.
"Would you rather he'd have said he's eerily glad to see you?" Sirius asked innocently.
"Padfoot, you are awful," James pleasantly told him.
"Because be beat you to saying it," Lily pointed out.
Remus gave a halfhearted laugh, and Sirius suddenly realized Harry wasn't the only one still unable to pull themselves from the misery of this situation. He watched his friend closely as he continued, his gaze clearly farther away than the Weasley's living room, perhaps still stuck on someone else more than he'd admit.
"A tragic end to a classic joke," Sirius mock raised a glass. Harry managed half a sob, half a laugh, but it was better than nothing.
Harry couldn't help but shiver again, almost wishing at this point someone would offer a solution as to why this was then this dead silence. There was an answer in there he had no wish to hear.
Harry felt a deep surge of pure fear grip him tight, he swore he wasn't breathing. Something had gone wrong, irreversibly, terribly wrong! Someone was not coming back!
None of them needed to be told that from the book, it was plain as day on his face in here, and Remus was fairing no better. He couldn't hide it now no matter how much he wanted to, not all of that concern was for Ron.
Harry tensed his hands now, the urge to reach out and grab her still present no matter how much distance was between them. His ring stood bright on his finger, flashing in the light for a moment as he forced himself to keep listening without this now.
"Oh please don't bring them up again, we're finally rid of their presence," James muttered.
"Woman knows how to stick a landing!" Remus couldn't have stopped the sudden burst of relief and praise that came from him if he'd wanted too. Suddenly he very much didn't, just taking this moment to bask in the comfort she was fine, still alive and safe, he hadn't lost again.
His friends had very aware smirks set in place, and though he didn't regret his outburst, he did hurry past it without giving them a chance to gloat they were right.
Sirius wolf-whistled happily, while James' eyes lingered on Lily. He could imagine the feeling, he'd lived through it a few times himself already and did not wish it on anyone.
"Just what he needed, I'm sure," Lily giggled.
"No one seems very happy tonight," Sirius sighed tragically at the two couples he just could not get a grasp on. You'd think those blokes would be happier to see their others in one piece.
Harry couldn't swallow for a moment. He was positive, in that moment, his fears were not without validation. Surely not Bill, who had already suffered more than anyone should be asked of, Fleur's and his wedding on the cusp of their happiness. Not Mundungus, or Mad-Eye, the two he'd most likely bank on their survival in any situation, though for two very different reasons...his mind scattered with the horror of all the possibilities.
"I really want to know what the hell is going on there," Lily's brows puckered in concern, Remus seemed nothing but angry about tonight. It wouldn't kill him to show a little breather for a moment, some happiness they were safe.
"Don't we all," James agreed with a deep sigh for his friend, it still boggled his mind he didn't know everything that was going on in his friends life, especially something as important as this. He did know one thing, they weren't being told everything that was going on between Moony and Tonks.
Remus made such a sound from deep within Harry felt a shiver crawl up his spine.
"What I owe that woman," he got out tersely, while Sirius patted him in understanding.
"I have no doubts she'll get what's owed to her," 'both for me, Harry, and Tonks,' he finished in his head, but figured Moony wouldn't appreciate at least that last one and it could cause the opposite, making Remus refuse to admit he cared about Tonks again. He was taking this as progress.
"How she dare," Lily snarled with just as much fury Remus just had. "Molly's been worried sick about her family, this Muriel should have sent Ron along the moment she had him in her hands."
"I'm sure everyone's just doing what they think is best," Harry murmured, trying his hardest not to sound like he disagreed with someone so formidable right now.
"Moony," Sirius sighed with genuine worry. Like the others, he could just sense something deeper was bothering their friend about this future relationship with Tonks, something he wasn't sharing with Harry anymore than he was willing to talk now.
There was a general sigh of discontent, what they wouldn't give for everyone to just stay there forever where safety was. It couldn't be helped, they were all well aware in the same way they left this home for their own lives, but they could still wish.
They all gave an equal wince again, the news not any lighter on them the more it had to be shared, now with Ron present to hear for the first time.
The moment Remus delivered such news, he closed the book and then just sat there, shaking his head at such a world. Alastor, who had survived so many fights and battles, it seemed laughable he could ever fail. Whose scars he must have been born with, rather than having received, he was so tough it had to be ludicrous someone had managed to make a mark. Not Head of the Auror Office Moody, surviving a war and practically an entire life of looking over his shoulder, only to be struck down by such means.
Mad-Eye, it seemed almost as if they were hearing of some stranger's death. They'd never seen him with such a thing, Sirius couldn't process him not being at the next Order meeting shouting at them all to focus anymore than he could such an end to one. Of course, Moody was hardly the kind to go out in a nap in bed, there truly was no 'great end,' for anyone.
James looked like he'd been punched in the face. It just wasn't coming together in his mind, the pieces not quite fitting right. He'd idolized Moody, wanted to train under him, be like him. Tough as nails, letting nothing get under his skin, to be valuable in this war like he'd yet really felt. He was supposed to be the one they were to look to, to see how they were supposed to handle this situation. Where would they look now?
Lily had at once reached out to comfort her husband and son. She knew Moody as a beacon of the Order, but had honestly feared this outcome for him since the moment he'd been mentioned in Harry's life. Now it was just made clear, another brutal reminder no one was safe, as she held her family closer.
It took Remus all the effort he had to pick the book back up to find his place, he could only manage it after catching Harry's eye and remembering all he still had to keep going for.
Anger, pure and fiery, flared up in every one of them for such a cowardly flee from a fight. They'd known who Mudunugus was before this moment, and this was a solidifying move.
"I am going to kill Mundungus," James said in a voice so full of emotion, it was hard to differentiate the vengeance, outrage, and sorrow behind the act.
"I imagine you'll have some competition," Lily said sourly, but there was an honest twist of pity in her for the old codger. He'd been forced to come along when he hadn't wanted to just for Mad-Eye's plan, and the end results sat before them. It only reinforced the idea she'd had for a long time, the more you tried to wish your will onto someone, the more they'd pull away.
Lily had always wanted to protect her baby from the sights of this war, and though she'd long since realized that was impossible, she still did what she could for now in giving him comfort through this shock.
"Something that is more sorely needed," Sirius murmured, steeling himself before stating in a much more natural tone, "how moody do you think they're going to be over this? They did idolize him."
"Ughh," James let his head flop against the back of the couch to hide his almost twitching lips, while Sirius smirked in triumph he could always get a rise out of Prongs.
"Too soon Padfoot!" Remus tried to scold, but not as if he really meant it. Harry didn't look particularly amused, but all of them were still trying to draw comfort in their own knowledge they would see him again.
Lily's eyes widened in surprise when it wasn't mentioned Remus was in any way comforting her, especially as he was leaning over and whispering something to Sirius now to keep his lips twitching. The three friends were an endless cycle of comfort to each other when the other needed it, and she really wished she could still see more of that in the woman who had fallen in love with her friend, and supposedly vice-versa.
They'd had their own moment of shocked silence, and they couldn't bring themselves to hold another now. Not when he was going to be there at their next Order meeting! Not when they still had years to pick his clever brains on the best way to handle the worst. Remus pressed on loudly, not meaning disrespect, but instead putting purpose into his actions of stopping this from being inevitable.
"Hmm, don't get too used to that," James sighed. "Liquid Courage is a completely different potion, I wouldn't want you getting the two confused."
Lily started snickering in surprise that a potions joke of all things had come from him, wishing she could nuzzle into his side, but refusing to dislodge Harry from where he was leaning between the two of them. Instead she reached across him and grabbed her husbands hand, linking the three farther, just as much a remedy to this shattering news as Sirius' lively laughter and Remus' quick input.
Remus flinched at his own question. It had not passed his notice how clearly focused he was on finding the...traitor-rat-mole! That was a safe word that he didn't have to associate with anyone...
"Remus," Sirius called softly, and when he didn't respond, Sirius whacked him on the knee with the back of his hand. He blinked mildly at his friend, clearly unimpressed. "Remus," Sirius said again in the same tone, now that he knew he was being listened to. "Do me a favor and stop focusing on just one bloody thing at a time. What's the matter with you, when did you get so lazy? Used to be that head of yours could go through homework, one of our pranks, the consequences to said prank, and still hold a conversation to distract anybody listening in all at the same time!"
Remus swallowed the obvious answer, he didn't have his friends there anymore to keep this skill alive. Instead he took in a shallow breath through clenched teeth, but relaxed himself just enough to say, "put it down to your running theory married life has driven me soft?"
Sirius gave an obligatory laugh he didn't feel, he knew Moony was deflecting when he saw it, he just didn't have it in him to say otherwise. He was in no better a position to speak what was in the air.
Lily tried for a little giggle as she remembered wondering that very thing, and surprised to get an answer. She wished to feel relief, that betrayal had not struck again, but it was merely a human flaw. None were entirely plausible, the end results still right in front of them, another lost.
"Brilliant to his last then, couldn't have asked for better," Sirius stated calmly, meaning every word.
They all winced in pain for Fleur so brutally putting that out there. Of course they were all aware of such a thing, having it slapped in their face was not helping.
Lily couldn't stop a horrible little noise, wishing she could protest such a thing existing but all to well aware of how such accidents could happen. At least Hagrid's had been just that, there were far worse betrayals, that had resulted in so much pain...
"Alastor had always been weary of who to trust, but he's not infallible," Sirius whispered quietly. Their Moody had certainly made no arguments of...everyone in the Order now.
James flinched like Sirius had finally said what they'd all been thinking since the first chapter, an inescapable person on the verge of every one of their thoughts. He wondered if he was going to be sick again, almost wished he would if it would somehow finally erase this pain he'd been carrying for days, would be forced to live with the rest of his life.
All five of them burst into surprised, but genuine laughter. They really wouldn't know what to do with themselves if Harry lost the best source of laughter in his life through those two, he certainly needed it more than ever in this coming time.
"Reliving old memories I'm sure," Remus needlessly whispered. Wishing they were moments like these, instead of flashbacks to ghosts who looked remarkably like someone in that kitchen.
Sirius caught him in a quick hug, as much a silent promise as he could offer he would not suffer this alone again, not if he could help it. Remus just watched him with a surprised smile for a moment before patting him on the shoulder and shoving him out of the way, muttering a fond old joke about him always stopping his work.
"The only thing you ever needed to know about me really," James whispered as he looked into his only sons eyes.
Harry watched him for a long moment before saying back, "at least now I know more."
James beamed, catching his friends eyes now, his beloved wife. He had his family right here.
It didn't matter how many times they had to read or hear that combination of words, it still burned through them with the same pain. Never growing more dull, but more familiar, easier to breathe through than the last time.
"You and Bill grow more similar by the moment, I'm starting to get worried about you Moony," Sirius said with a completely straight face.
"Soon I'll be sprouting red hair instead," Remus rolled his eyes for his friends usual stupidity, his smile speaking louder of how he prayed it would never end.
"Never," Lily spoke at once, knowing that was all Molly needed to hear as well for something so vital to be done.
"I'm extra sorry you left now Moony," James snorted in disbelief, no one minding much if it was a bit watery. "I'd have loved to get an earful of the look on your face."
"Ugh, not you too!" Lily grumbled. "Merlin's pants James, George isn't even here."
She was ignored.
"You think I could stop him from this earrellavent idea?" Remus chuckled in surprise. "No, that'll be all Hermione."
None did so in here, until Harry realized they were looking from him to the door carefully and trying to pretend otherwise. With a flush of embarrassment he now realized they expected him to bolt now as his answer to anyone's safety, especially in circumstances such as these. He gritted his teeth and wished he could argue the point, not exactly helped along they were reading of this exact moment where he'd wanted to do the same.
Lily felt a horrible plummeting sensation she had no hope of escaping, as all the boys murderous looks ramped up again. The last time that had happened, well, it had not ended well, and she knew who they all blamed. She had no choice but to revisit the circumstances and finally agree. Now tears were prickling at the edge of her vision, making her voice come out far more hollow than she'd meant, "can't you see when that won't work love?"
"Had to try," was all he could whisper, fearing anything more would push his mum over the edge.
Lily found an easy distraction in Molly, shaking her head affectionately from side to side as she now easily predicted her sons reaction to this.
There was no happiness in her being right, she could not force him to share in the flood of warmth she felt her baby was being so well looked after by another. If there was ever anything Lily could do to return that favor, she would in a heartbeat, but for now she held her son close to her while she still could.
"He'll be dealing with a hell of an army, frankly not one I'd be wanting to face," Sirius went wide-eyed, genuine fear at the idea of the lot of them drawing wands at once.
"Not going to stop my boy feeling the weight of every one of them when they're empty," James said completely hollow. Harry shivered to his core, the horrible premonition of his father being right leaving the worst taste in his mouth.
"Not really," Sirius drew the word out exponentially as he eyed his godson. "After all, who doesn't need an escort past two dozen murderous psychopaths before going on a nice stroll for parts of Voldemort's soul?"
"You skipped the much better ridiculous punchline in favor for mocking Harry," James snorted. "Look at you growing up."
Sirius stuck his tongue out at him.
"It'll be at the forefront of all our minds till the bitter end," Remus agreed softly, and Harry knew no one was joking for that one.
Remus didn't yell that quite as loud as Harry once had, but they all flinched anyways. They wished they could tell Harry to do otherwise, but were already well aware of the fact this was just part of who he was. Instead they just let him continue as he was while trying to be there for him as much as they could.
"If that kind of love is blackmail, than clearly we've been doing it all wrong," James said briskly.
"I'm sure I can find a few to practice on," Sirius chuckled.
"That's not something for you to decide Harry," Lily sternly reminded. "You can never determine how much someone suffers from your decisions, no matter how much I love you for being aware of it."
Harry just sighed, never growing used to the idea of becoming lax to this.
Harry shook all over, fighting back the impulse to scream, cry, or shut down all at once. He was so tired of feeling.
"Oh Hagrid," Sirius sighed. They were all trying so hard, but it wasn't escaping anyone's notice the ones who knew him best were not speaking up. Hopefully Ron and Hermione were just waiting for a chance to speak to him alone, no matter what comfort the adults were trying.
No one in here had forgotten of this particular tidbit, but honestly none of them had brought it up because they didn't know what to say. They'd never heard of anything like it. The best answer they could have hoped for was to wait until Harry could ask Dumbledore, but that was no longer an option. This was magic beyond them, all they'd needed was to exchange one look to know none of them had heard of wands acting of their own accord in such a way. Wandless magic to be sure; wands performing magic from a verbal spell while out of reach, rare but still doable in the right circumstances. This was just another of the many things in this future they felt useless in helping Harry navigate.
Harry looked to each of them, knowing if they had an answer for him they would have given it by now. He could think of nothing but gratitude for each of them though, their open expressions and being able to communicate without words this very fact.
"And hopefully you never will again!" Sirius inserted with a little gasp of horror. "Golden flames, honestly, who needs to have a golden dragon running through their mind at that idea!"
"Only you Padfoot," Remus told him pleasantly.
"Now if your wand had, say, thrown a brick wall in Voldemort's face, that I could get behind," Sirius pleasantly continued.
"Whatever happened to, if you don't have anything useful to say, don't butt in," Lily rolled her eyes.
"Dear, we've never said that," James snorted.
"Which you've shown the aptitude for, several times," Remus agreed. "Now, if Dumbledore had been teaching you how to hone that skill, instead of all that horcrux talk last year, that could have had the potential for some interesting teachings."
"It wasn't like that," Harry said through gritted teeth.
Remus held his hands up in surrender before trying to finish, he wasn't looking to pick a fight with Harry.
Lily brushed her hand through Harry's hair with a deep sigh, wishing her son could see himself the way others did. Nobody in that house at least was trying to force expectations on him.
They all tensed in agitation for that now, each of them knowing they'd do anything so Harry never had to feel such pain again, and all it could cause him.
James sighed, again. What he wouldn't give for his son to never have to see such a creature.
They had never forgotten, and the memory of how Sirius had joined that list being in the forefront of their minds only made it all so much worse. Harry had never done anything to deserve such endless torment in his life.
"No," Sirius whispered in a voice of pure terror.
"I don't understand," Lily screeched, her nails digging into his arm painfully. "Last time thinking of those you loved kept him out of your head, what is this?!"
"Voldemort must be quite infuriated to have let the Occlumency he'd put against Harry slip," Remus managed in-between gasping breaths.
Harry, despite his eyes watering in pain from remembering this, tried his best to soothe them. "I know, trust me, I won't fall for the same thing again. I know whoever Voldemort's talking to...I, I'm not-" he couldn't finish. He couldn't promise he knew it wasn't real, couldn't even say he had no intentions of going to where that person was. It would all feel like a lie. Instead he patted his mothers hand, squeezed his dads shoulder, and urged Remus to keep going. Any answer would be better than this dreaded silence.
"Oh my goodness," Remus could only mouth the words, he wasn't even sure the others looks of shock were for recognizing such a name. The blow of hearing this all happen to Harry again nearly outweighed it for him.
Harry bit down hard on his lip to stop himself screaming out loud, for Sirius, for someone to help Ollivander, to make this stop. The dread of deja vu' was surely sucking the life out of him, the answers to questions he hadn't even asked yet mixed in with everything else.
"Always a lovely thing to hear," Sirius squeaked, he hadn't managed to unclench his throat for nearly a minute now and it was starting to become painful, but he could not shake his horror for Harry being put through this again.
"He hardly instigated this trip down memory lane," Lily said venomously, her hold on her son nearly painful. Harry did not argue with her either.
"I wasn't aware he ever had much of a choice," James said hollowly.
"Chapter was over," Remus whispered, though he could hardly look at Lily to continue, he didn't want to hear what came next. How much worse was in store for them all.
HPHPHPHP
I would love to read a fanfiction with different point's of view of this and the last chapter! Any suggestions? I've tried to find some, but keep coming up empty.
Okay, so by estimation, Tonks is either already pregnant, or will be very, very soon. I'm guessing already is and has announced as such to Remus, they got married, hence why he's always shown so dang unhappy. Yet, can the man not show any other emotion? Relief? Some tenderness as he checks her over, maybe even lifts her shirt to check himself all's well and good? Nope. Just, more pure anger at the situation. Sorry, exactly why am I supposed to enjoy writing for this couple at this time again? What cheesy commentary can I throw in to compensate this? It doesn't help at all that no, nobody will be actually guessing the pregnancy before it's announced, but trust me I'm looking forward to The Bribe more than any of you just for that brilliant chapter! I truly am sorry to the Remadora shippers who are wanting more for this pairing, but I can't write for what's not there, and neither Moony's are giving me much to work with.
*This moment drew my attention far more than it should and never left me. Can Polyjuice Potion work on werewolves?! It does not work on Hagrid because he is only half-human, but isn't technically Remus not even human? He may only turn into a werewolf once a month, but it does not stop him from being a werewolf by the coding of DNA the rest of the month. What about Fleur? She's three-quarters something other than human, but the Polyjuice worked on her just fine, would it work on a Veela then? What about Teddy? We know he does not turn into a Werewolf, but the gene is still present? ( I know he wouldn't need it anyways, but the point still stands.) What about Teddy and Victoria's kids? They'd have percentages of Veela and Werewolf, would the human be more or less than the two magical creatures mixed in there?! Just what is the approximation of human-other ratio for this potion to work?!
My assumption for Remus is that, no it would not, and would turn the person who tried turning into him some gruesome monster; half-human, half-werewolf, much like Hermione's half-cat mess up. A mindless beast trying to kill everything with a very human-like body not able to attack anything, but I'm open for arguments.