Sirius took the book with even more unease Harry didn't answer. He didn't at all like picking up in the middle where Prongs had left off what was quickly becoming a kamikaze mission. He tried as hard as ever to keep going with his usual energy, but this was far different from reading a wedding, that had also been botched.

"Her acting's improving, she managed an answer," Remus muttered.

Lily opened, then closed her mouth. The fury this incited in her was beyond words, her place of work being reduced to this, this toad still walking around now being in charge! If Harry didn't burn the place to the ground on his way out, she may do it herself.

Harry stiffened with unease, glad he didn't have the book now as he might have sent it crashing to the floor with disgust of leaving Hermione in that situation by herself. As capable a witch as she was, he felt sick with stress.

"I will never grow tired of your descriptions of people," James snorted, still managing to find something to laugh at in all of this.

Sirius face palmed while Remus muttered, "so much for not getting anyone else involved."

Harry looked ashamed for his own slip, but even now couldn't think up another spur of the moment name.

"He bought it!" Harry burst with relief, Sirius nodding happily in agreement. It's a good thing this was a walking stick figure, for once, or that could have been more suspicious.

"You can still make something of this Harry!" Lily offered to his look of ever growing worry. "All you've got to do is regroup and get out of there, learn from your mistake."

"There's no way one of the three people won't put together something happened, and security will be even more tight around here!" Harry protested in frustration. "We'll be lucky to ever get near Umbridge again!"

"I still say you should find out where she lives, give her a pleasant house-call," Sirius sneered.

Harry just shook his head for that pipe dream, her home was likely as guarded and protected as the Burrow had once been, he knew he hadn't a hope of that. He just hoped he'd made do with this problem.

Remus was shifting anxiously and biting his tongue to stop himself pointing out he wished he had stuck around to help with this, but he had a feeling that reminder wouldn't go over well with anyone.

James felt a faint shiver creep up his spine as he suddenly imagined Hogwarts like that, the reminder of who was in charge of the place left a nasty feeling pressing in on him worrying his once lively home was much the same.

"Could find any number of useful things in there, just not the purpose of this visit," Remus restlessly agreed.

"Those Ministry workers are missing out on all that free artwork provided," James smirked, as if Lily and Harry had any doubts he was a large part of the practice at school.

"How boring," James snorted.

"I've never thought of magic in a factory setting," Remus agreed, bemused. "Seems a bit pointless when one can really do it all themselves with enough effort."

"Probably on the Ministry's new promotional work," Sirius sniffed in disgust, putting on a mock spectator voice. "New jobs available for all, even more mindless than the ones we already provided!"

Lily couldn't bring herself to join in on the fun, she was still too filled with disgust for this.

"I already hate it!" Sirius groaned.

"And now I officially hate it," he concluded, face squidged up in disgust for that existing, let alone having to be the one to read it.

"You and all of us Pads," James agreed.

"I always knew her future was in the arts, tortured soul and all that," James sneered.

"There was one thing inherently wrong with that," Lily frowned, "and yet I'm bothered by both."

"Yeah, I'm a bit puzzled who can go around calling her a hag and using that ghastly word," Sirius frowned curiously at this unnamed witch.

"I'm still beside myself she's thriving in this environment," James spat, "I can't care much for why her underlings are the way they are."

Lily frowned in confusion while the boys scowled at the tasteless joke.

Sirius' mouth fell open.

James swore, several things he had already used on Umbridge but this really deserved a repeat.

Remus looked like he was going to be sick. They'd never known to associate this with Moody, but it didn't make what was being said here any less a disgrace to his memory!

Lily was pissed. She began swearing so fluently it was as if she was trying to create her own hex right there.

Harry shook his ears like he was trying to get water out of them, easily sucked back into the here and now from hearing his mother talk like that. He tried gently to cut in, but at first she didn't even seem to hear him.

"-take off every one of those pudgey fingers- how she even got her hands on that is disgusting and the lowest of the- he's the former head of the Auror Department, it's a disgrace to the entire establishment, not to mention even half the legalities-"

"Lily Flower," James none so gently half shouted back as he tried. "We're going to get revenge on her love, I promise-"

"I don't want some stupid prank pulled on her!" She shouted. "We can't prove she'll do any of this, we've got nothing that won't implicate Harry, and I'm sick of this system! I want her head on a spike!"

He had no response for that. There were many a things they needed to get done after this, and she was high up on their list, but his wife made a very good point.

Chest still rattling from her excess, Lily collected herself anyways, pushing her hair out of her face now the same color and snapping at Sirius, "go on then! Harry's going to do something about this and I need to hear it."

Sirius readily agreed with that.

"I can't even blame you," Lily half snarled, clearly still seething.

"I can't decide who I hate more for this still being true!" James snarled. "Fudge for putting her there, Scrimgour for keeping her there, or Voldemort for indulging her there!"

"I vote we keep Azkaban running just so she can be its soul inmate," Sirius whispered darkly.

"We're not at Hogwarts anymore," Remus sighed, as if he needed more of a reminder.

"Oooh, another of the twins inventions," James did get a grin for that.

"I do wonder what they'd have to say about you using this stuff to break into the Ministry, instead of just pulling pranks around school," Sirius chuckled.

"Probably burst into applause, after pummeling their kid brother for putting himself in so much danger," Remus shrugged.

"That really is beautiful magic at work right there," James beamed with pride.

"Though I would have preferred Anaticula," Sirius smirked. "Can never go wrong with ducks."

Harry wasn't the only one who cringed in disgust at the reminder, but he was the only one who'd had to witness this in person.

"That's somehow even worse than Lockhart's," Remus grumbled.

"None of our DADA teachers office was nearly that, interesting," James rolled his eyes. "The most notable was Professor Leasimperaturek, she had maps of all over the world about, always wanted to travel."

Sirius muttered for a moment about wishing he could do the same before he forced himself to keep going.

They all smiled at Harry, not a one claiming they'd do otherwise.

"It's never that easy," Lily groaned.

"Oh, this isn't going to be good," Sirius sighed, hand twitching to automatically turn the pages away from whatever insults this would contain.

"You life is unacceptable," James huffed.

"Oh, is that just a common knowledge thing now," Lily scowled.

"I'm dead, not ill," Sirius rolled his eyes, only feeling slightly bad for the wince he gave his friends for the reminder he was just fine and alive now, and distracting Harry from his worry even if Ron's story was going well.

"Oh look Harry, you got a whole new title and everything for all this!" Remus groaned.

Harry rolled his eyes, looking unimpressed, but his Mum beside him made a noise like someone had stepped on an already pissed off cat, and the boys looked just as murderous. He shrugged and urged Sirius to keep going, he really had no sympathy for whatever happened to Umbridge, he had a feeling it would somehow be more irreversible than whatever the Centaurs did.

"She has no reason to hide it," James agreed with still clenched teeth.

"I, highly doubt Umbridge kept some sort of memento of him," Remus muttered in confusion.

"Probably keeping it up as a reminder she finally succeeded him in some way," Sirius said in disgust, some small bit of a miracle in the news she wasn't the one back at Hogwarts instead of Snape. That cat yak probably couldn't even think of his school without flinching.

"Oh good, it's not just Dumbledore she's out to get!" James rolled his eyes.

"I wonder if she's done one of these on all past Headmasters?" Sirius looked just a touch amused at the idea. "Has she gone back and done one over Phineaus Negilus, because I might enjoy that-"

Remus smacked him with an eye roll, at least that always felt normal.

"Why did you take it off?" James asked in surprise.

"You clearly didn't spend enough time under it while trying to handle something," Harry snorted, which his dad agreed to. He was much more prone using it to sneak than to steal.

"Luck of the Imperiused, or an actual idiot, you decide," Sirius rolled his eyes.

"To be fair, who would want to be in that office period, let alone sneaking around in there," Remus shrugged.

Lily looked genuinely interested in this while Sirius was very curious to here this story. Both felt for the first time in ages they were finally hearing something from the Ministry worthwhile.

James couldn't help himself. "And yet, you came up with this entire idiotic plan, because?"

"Hermione has a one track mind," he offered sheepishly.

"No, don't blame this on her!" Lily rolled her eyes at him. "All three of you couldn't come up with a better idea, so you tried and failed to come up with this one, even though you had no guarantee of any good outcome."

Harry groaned and looked to the ceiling, but finally admitted, "yes, alright, we should have thought this through more."

"It's no wonder none of you were in Ravenclaw, even Hermione at this rate," Remus snorted.

"Yeah, well, Lockhart was, so I don't see dragging house stereotypes into this Moony," Sirius chuckled.

"This Runcorn fellow seems to hold plenty of weight," Sirius offered to cheer Harry up, as he did still look very worried about this. "I say you could just pop in and ask for a word with her then make a run for it."

Harry agreed, but felt nothing in him assuring this would work. He hoped it was just his dour mood for the day.

"At least some good is coming of this," James sighed.

"Oh joy," Lily muttered in some concern for how this could play out.

"Shouldn't affect anything!" James tried, and failed, to say confidently, but he didn't like the odds anymore of there just happening to be the two Weasley's in the one lift. If Percy magically appeared in there he'd claim an official conspiracy against his son.

"Agreed," Sirius said slowly, and he'd never even met him, though their fear of Harry impersonating a Death Eater was only rising with this kind of confirmation.

"I'm not even sure if I should laugh at him for that," James asked.

"I don't think there's ever been a study on it," Lily shrugged without answer.

"That must have been weirder than anything," Remus chuckled. "I'd probably give myself away calling these two idiots impersonating someone else."

"Don't kid yourself Moony, we know all your tells no matter what you look like," Sirius snorted.

James face-palmed.

The others weren't feeling any better, but Lily sat up with hope. Now that Voldemort had all but moved out into the open, this whole trip to the Ministry would be worth it if they could just see father and son behaving like normal again.

Lily sat back with disappointment, the fear growing in her more every moment what it would take for Percy to finally come back to his family, if he would at all.

"Not hard for you," Sirius couldn't help himself.

"Gee, thanks," Harry rolled his eyes absently, hardly having heard him and still feeling hot around the collar with unease for this conversation.

"I say we leave this one dumped wherever Ron and Hermione stashed him," Sirius spat in disgust. "He's clearly not doing society any good!"

"I'm suddenly happy Arthur isn't talking to Runcorn," Lily paled exceptionally as she heard that. "I can't imagine how much trouble he would have just caused himself!"

"Can't be much more than he's already in," James tried to offer, even as he agreed, Arthur's anger at the situation could have caused him some problems just now. The poor man must truly be stressed to be doing something so dangerous.

"Um, he does already know that, yes," Remus looked at Harry in confusion. "He sent you his Patronus telling you not to get in contact."

"Maybe he didn't realize it so, officially," Harry defended.

"A two for one, the best kind," Sirius muttered.

Sirius stuttered over the name of that place, but only gave himself enough time to wish that place being mentioned wasn't an ill omen for how Harry got out of there before reading on very loudly as a reminder he wasn't anywhere near there now.

Lily gave him a wavering smile that couldn't manage any real comfort no matter how hard she tried. "Whoever would have thought that sham of a trial would do you some good?"

He smiled back anyways for her attempts.

Sirius looked very proud of himself Harry had also thought of his idea, sharing a delighted grin with his godson who tried his best to return it to his very much alive godfather, rather than letting his mind dwell on the last thing he'd heard Sirius say to him.

Then Sirius looked put out for a moment he hadn't thought of that, telling Harry, "you got me on that one."

"Nice of you to admit you don't think of everything," Remus answered instead when it was clear Harry was having difficulty.

Lily couldn't believe anything could surprise her anymore, but there it was. Inside the very Ministry. She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs how none of this could ever be real, but one look at her son reminded her well enough, oh yes it could be.

Even at the height of their fears for this war as they'd joined the Order, the four from this time were only beginning to feel such a thing on their daily lives. To have it pressed in on all sides, and from the Ministry of all places, felt unspeakable no matter what Sirius was forcing out.

James put an arm around Harry in silent comfort, the two being more similar in that moment than even their shared Patronuses' could describe.

"They can see through Invisiblity Cloaks," Sirius needlessly reminded no one, he could hear the dark edge in his own voice and had to look up for a moment to clear it.

"Oh, good, I thought that was just in my head!" Remus muttered.

Sirius couldn't stop a high-pitched noise of distress. Though this had not been his fate, the threat had been hanging over him for so long he went instinctively defensive of it even being mentioned, especially on another innocent person!

Remus rubbed his back and promised they'd stop for dinner as soon as this bit ended. Sirius doubted he could eat a bite right now, but he muttered a thanks he at least had something to look forward too.

The Marauders had no witty comment to make that better, Harry and Lily couldn't imagine such a thing even existed. The parents had long since known they couldn't shield their son from this brutal world that existed without them, or because of them, but for Harry to be witnessing it like this in person was beyond words.

Lily took her sons hand with gratitude, James trying to show the same but still looking like he was going to be sick at the idea of this.

"Exactly where a toad like her should be," Sirius muttered.

"I can't believe she hasn't snapped and cursed those two yet!" Lily snarled in outrage. "What's been stopping her?"

Harry had no answer for that, his stomach a ball of nerves as he contemplated doing the same already and all the ways it could go wrong, but all seemed quite valid after just witnessing one instance of this.

Remus ground his teeth in further anger of all this, as if that were possible. It usually went like that, he was aware, those in power rarely if ever felt the consequences of what happened to those beneath them.

Harry's stomach twisted even more uncomfortably as he all to easily recalled this same worry of his once now being brought to life on a person just as innocent as he'd been.

Sirius fought back the urge to punch Ron in the face for accidentally causing further distress of this family.

Lily didn't care how old those kids were, she wished she could wrap them all tight around their parents and promise them something she couldn't fulfill.

"I can't imagine anything stirs your thick head," James said in disgust.

"I can't even imagine what vile memory she's using to keep those things present," Sirius spat in pure disgust for something so precious being used by her.

"I'm impressed she even can," Remus sneered, "as useless a teacher as she was, I was half convinced she couldn't summon a crumpet to her, let alone something as advanced as this."

"She has to be good at something to get where she is, it's certainly not charming people," Lily grumbled.

"There's your answer Pads," James got out around the vomit in the back of his throat. "She doesn't even need to use a memory, she's holding it in the very presence of them, like two parasites feeding off each other."

"I'm really not appreciating you right now Prongs," Sirius muttered, his face squidged up in disgust for how true that seemed.

"She's so on edge, anything will make her jump at this point," Lily sighed.

"Hopefully she's expecting Harry to show up somehow and won't be too noticeable," Remus offered.

"Luck favors the fortunate?" Remus muttered.

"More like they can't stop glowering at their prey," Sirius snarled.

"She got it from Ollivander most likely, you daft dimbo," Sirius sneered as if speaking to the simplest of simpletons. "Of course she could have used another wand-maker, but given there's no sane person who would give you a wand, and I have more magic in my little toe than you posses, I can see how you'd be confused and asking for advice."

He'd never understood the importance of Pureblood supremacy, one of the many reasons even as a child he'd never gotten along with his parents, but even now the lies all these people had to be telling themselves to be blind to this was unbelievable to him! In this logic, it meant that hundreds if not thousands of wand thefts had been going on and no one had ever heard a whisper about it, and not just Muggle-borns, but Muggles would have been acting on this! He didn't know this Mafalda person Hermione was impersonating, but she like the other two abhorrent people in there, must either be heartless or useless to be doing nothing to stop this having been going on for over a month!

"Your self restraint is unparalleled," James assured him, he knew he couldn't have held back long before now.

"Well, now you have confirmation of where it is," Lily tried her darnedest to still think positive. "I'm all for you making a break for it now and ambushing her for this later-"

"Will probably have to remove it from her neck in a more permanent like way, but I'm sure you'll manage," James finished for her in mock pleasantness.

Sirius barely got that out in any sensible form. He nearly bit his tongue off. Or her head.

"Why would she do that?" Lily truly wondered.

"Maybe she really thought Harry hadn't noticed?" James offered with no real idea himself, he thought it was poor form for Hermione to give away she'd noticed a thing like this at a time like that.

"Lies, lies and deceit," Sirius finished with an eye roll.

"I've confidence she doesn't know how to speak anything else," Remus huffed, "even if we didn't know better I'd still agree with you on principle."

"Now I almost do want to know what her blood status is," James said with further disgust of all this. "See how she likes it being lorded over her if it's anything but twenty lines of pure!"*

Lily only knew of her name in reputation in the department she currently worked and had never actually met her, but that would change very soon as she vowed to dig into anything and everything she could of that horrible blight on existence and stop this from happening.

James didn't even have it in him to ask what on Earth that was, it didn't matter right now.

"Harry somehow made it sound even better," Sirius said with relish.

"I'm going to post that in the Prophet," James promised.

"Where they both belong!" Remus all but danced in his seat with delight finally someone had done it!

"The latter, I'd go with," James said darkly, but finally some assurance those beasts would be sent far away with his son there.

"That's my boy!" James congratulated at once, not that any doubt had been there, but Harry's face lighting up made the unnecessary comment endlessly worth it.

"Hermione's already called you Harry," Sirius rolled his eyes, "the gig's up pup."

"She might not have heard over her screams and the dementors," Harry defended. "I don't get credit for keeping up this façade?"

"As poorly as you've been doing it?" James snorted, before relenting, "yes, all the credit you like son."

Harry beamed. He didn't care how wrong all this went now, he knew it was worth it to save this woman's life and everyone else's that day.

"I really don't see the point," Lily frowned for this. "Umbridge wouldn't report the theft considering the rest of the mess that will come of this, and it's not as if she and Voldemort swap jewelry compliments often enough for him to even have the realization this has left its cave."

"Better safe than sorry?" Harry offered, while Sirius ignored the both of them. He'd long since stopped questioning why Hermione was the way she was.

"I'm not surprised she struggles with an emotion based spell," James muttered very petulantly, he was in no mood for her or anything delaying Harry getting out of there.

"She managed one in the Room of Requirements," Lily recalled the otter swimming about.

"Several people can do them but struggle to do so in the face of a dementor," Remus explained. "As Umbridge never learned, things are far different than a classroom experience in the real world."

Lily nodded her agreement with that.

"You clearly know exactly what you're doing here," Sirius snorted. "Why aren't you in positions of power more often?"

"Because they've worked out so well for me in the past," Harry rolled his eyes, not needing to remind them the catastrophe of the DA ending.

"Has that only just occurred to you?" James demanded of his son very heavily underplaying these circumstances.

Harry chose not to answer that.

"I'll bet Hermione loved that," Lily muttered with a giggle, fighting back the urge to ask if her Patronus had flickered.

"Least he's keeping it simple," Remus snickered.

Sirius swallowed uncomfortably. This wasn't as bad as the last time Harry had made a daring rescue attempt in this place, he had confidence his godson would make it out of there alive, but the other lives at stake this time still made everything feel as if it could go twenty times as bad.

Remus began tapping his feet anxiously as he heard the finale of this grand escape, fighting back the urge to run around and help. Harry really knew how to make an exit.

"Really getting into that method acting," James tried for a feeble laugh at the idea.

"Let's hope that's the only lesson he took from Fake-Eye," Sirius grumbled.

"At least Harry's always been quick on the uptake," Lily approved.

James face-palmed, resisting the urge to say 'I told you so.' His son really needed another friend around purely for making plans that didn't blow up in their face it seemed.

"That'll help I'm sure," Sirius rolled his eyes.

"A catastrophe," Harry sighed in agreement with all the haggard faces around him.

The boys couldn't help it, they burst into surprised laughter at the Muggle answer. "Took a lot more from that departure with Dudley than I thought you did," James was fighting back the urge to applaud his son.

Lily fought back the urge to do the same and snapped at Sirius to keep going.

Then she smacked Harry hard. "I thought you were all worried about implicating other people! What's he done to you to deserve that death sentence you all but put on him?"

"I panicked!" Harry admitted as his only defense.

"You, obviously! Keep up man!" Remus groaned, he just wanted this to end!

"Nobody going to worry about Mr. Cattermole?" Lily groaned, the poor man was probably being arrested for somehow assisting all this no matter what he said!

Harry had no response for that either, sinking low into his seat and fully feeling the affects of all this, every life he could have hurt as much as he'd just tried to save.

Lily realized this and softly brushed her hand across his hair, promising him she understood he'd done as much as he could and she wasn't asking for more.

Sirius couldn't help but freeze, heart stilling with pure fear. Someone had tagged along for the ride, and friend or foe, Hermione was going to get very hurt if she slipped away from Harry during this. Splinching, ending up somewhere she shouldn't be, or any number of horrible things could happen all with friend or foe attached none of them knew.

"Are you sure it was Hermione's?!" James pleaded with genuine worry, he knew Harry would go absolutely ballistic if anything happened to his friend. He would too.

Harry couldn't breathe, couldn't even think to answer as he snatched the book away to find out for himself.

HPHPHPHP

*To no one's surprise I'm sure, she's a halfblood with a Muggle mother. You can google her full, properly terrible, backstory for more, but I felt it needed to be sent home one last time how awful every bit of this is, especially her.