I've been dreading doing this chapter and the next more than any other in series because of how depressing they are. Worse than any character deaths, they're a different kind of misery, and one I find very hard to write through with such lively people. I apologize greatly for how lacking these probably feel in advance.

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Harry could not imagine a worse feeling than this. He was now convinced he'd lose everyone in his life, his first and best friend just another person on the list now lost to him forever. He just knew when he opened his eyes and the rest of his memories were forced back to him he'd lose Hermione next, she'd grow tired of this fruitless mission and go to the Weasley's, who would keep her safe and in hiding with love and care. He didn't dare to try and look into whatever memories he had left to scrounge together a feeling about any of this, for he was convinced it would only make things worse.

He was vaguely aware of his dad holding his shoulder, but was thankful for the silence as none of them offered words of comfort. He wouldn't have been able to stand falsities right now, or diatribe about Ron in his defense. He just sat there and absorbed the shock, trying to brace himself against the next realization of what the rest of his life would hold.

Lily finally forced herself to accept the book and try to keep going, no matter the hopeless look upon her sons face. She could never stand to do nothing about that, and if getting him caught up with how he'd wound up here was all she could do to help him alleviate this newest pain, she'd press on full steam.

Harry shivered and looked longingly towards the stairs, to peace and a real break from his life. He knew it would do no good, it wasn't too late into the evening yet and he wouldn't be able to sleep regardless.

Sirius retched theatrically at the comparison, but no one paid him any mind. They were all to busy with the crowded noise of their own, Sirius was just trying to distract his, and huffed in disappointment he hadn't been given the chance.

James muttered to himself about how that likely wasn't going to fix anything, then winced as he broke the silence.

"I'd be more surprised if she had," Lily said quietly, just as surprised Harry apparently did.

Sirius cursed and muttered much more strongly than Prongs had about that deserter, anger was more familiar to him anyways than this empty feeling of shock over Harry's lost friend, but he was no more acknowledged.

Remus wavered for a moment before deciding against saying something. He'd wanted to offer comfort Harry could at least know the fate of his friend, could go to the Burrow now and confront him if he really needed to, but for now he felt Harry's pride wouldn't allow any such thing to happen.

"Can't make her do all the work I suppose!" James offered in a forced light tone, that Harry was still ignoring.

'Please let this ending be more like their beginning,' Lily pleaded as she fought against clearing her throat and continuing. Ron had once made Hermione cry as well, and that had turned out to be one of the best things in her life! Couldn't the idiot come back and make it right again somehow?

James gave a bleak sort of laugh as he remembered this being discussed as a joke, but with all three at the school like they should have been.

"I'm sure she does love," Lily promised at once, anything to lighten that haggered face. "You two were perfectly clear why you weren't together anymore, but I doubt she's there fawning over Seamus anymore than you're after Veela."

Harry tried for a smile for his mother no matter how forced it felt, trying to take whatever comfort he could he believed her and Ginny hadn't forgotten about him anymore than he had her. Still he gazed at the ring on his finger and again wondered why he wore it, when she felt so far away.

"I can offer easy, no arguments needed reasons for both," Sirius offered, but Harry didn't respond, and he was grateful. He would have done it had Harry asked, but it would have just been more depressing than helping with any anger.

"Not that he meant to," Remus couldn't help but mutter, but that only opened another whole vault of memories no one needed reminding of in why Harry truly was so alone with this.

Harry could just as easily imagine this now. That the next memory to come back would be him, waking up alone in an empty tent. How he'd stumbled into this time with no memories would always be a mystery, and there was no one left who even cared.

James shifted restlessly, fighting back the urge to tell his son he was only exhibiting the same problems as before Ron left, if not worse now. He didn't see how it would do him any good though, so kept his mouth shut.

"You two are truly desperate to be having casual chats with him," Sirius grumbled.

"Nice choice of words there," Remus congratulated.

"I'm a lost cause already," James raised his hand in surrender.

"No surprise there," Lily beamed with pride all the same for some good news still existing out there!

"I'm sure she's wrought with grief," Sirius rolled his eyes, as surely the sister on such good terms with the twins knew of all the secret passages.

"Just because Umbridge isn't around anymore doesn't make it less stupid!" Remus snorted.

"That school's likely more a madhouse than Dumbledore's whole head," James said with forced cheerfulness.

"I'm sure they're even still calling it that," Lily chuckled with pride, "Ginny did name it after all."

"You never believe you'll want to go back until you're long past," James agreed fondly.

"Well you pulled that off with only a few hiccups," Remus offered. "I'm sure you could sneak in and McGonagall will slip you all the biscuits you need while you attend classes and hide out under Neville's bed."

Harry managed a genuinely surprised and humored snort of laughter, finally, and they all managed to breathe just a bit again. None of them would ever stop trying to keep that frozen look of unease away from the surface of his mind.

"Seems neither party's going to learn their lesson," Lily said cautiously, trying to skip around how much time seemed to be passing during this bit. Harry was still shifting anxiously, but seemed to be growing accustomed to this new view on his memories, and none of them were fond of how it seemed to be making him even bleaker than when he'd constantly been wearing that Horcurx.

Yet they still couldn't hate Ron for it. Unlike the last time he'd so harshly blamed Harry for circumstances beyond his control, Ron had simply had a very human moment of caving to his fears, abandoning one family for another. They wanted to be angry, they certainly resented him for the way he'd done it, but between the feelings the horcrux was inducing in him as surely as Harry and the painful reminder of what he was missing out from in his family, their fury could not be ignited.

"At least you're getting to travel, that's got to be some highlight you never got in the past," Sirius offered enthusiastically. It was something he'd certainly loved to do, how the four of them had always planned on seeing the world before they settled down for life in as roundabout a way there and back just to see what there was out there. Then they'd been inducted into the Order and put those plans on hold until after it was safe, now Sirius was starting to fear hearing Harry's bleak and sketchy backgrounds was all he was ever going to get to visualize.

Lily gripped the book uncomfortably as they were again reminded of Harry's desire. They couldn't blame him one bit for this, and he wasn't wrong it seemed the only option they had right now to try and suss out some new information otherwise these two were just going to be spinning their wheels for the next year it seemed. She just wasn't so sure she wanted to share in the moment of Harry seeing what the dementors made him hear.

"Can someone please put that on the Hogwarts menu?" James chuckled. "I'm sure the house-elf's can make that a specialty."

"You put more thought into asking Hermione about this than you did breaking into the Ministry," Remus snorted.

Harry only looked minorly affronted, he really couldn't deny their end results.

"Merlin's pants, someone get that girl some homework!" Sirius yelped. "She's officially been reading the same book for how many months now?"

"Can you get better than an O on something? I think Hermione's striving for a new grade," James agreed.

Harry couldn't help but smile as everyone around him got a laugh out of that. At least they were still enjoying themselves.

"Unless it involves Quidditch or Parseltounge, I have no clue what she's on about," Sirius grinned at Harry, who chose to ignore that one as well.

"That's nothing new between you two," Remus began with a smirk, which quickly froze and he stopped himself abruptly from reminding Ron had been a good bridge there.

"I sort of remember that being mentioned," James agreed, casting his mind back to something actually peaceful like the wedding.

"Oh yeah, Krum threw a fit about it, Grindelwald's mark," Sirius remembered. So much had happened since then, it hadn't stuck as the most important thing of a guests complaint.

"What's that doing in a kids book?" Lily asked, looking sick.

"Maybe it really does have some other meaning then," Remus offered. "Who knows how many hands that passed through before Dumbledore lent it to Hermione." His mind was on the book, possibly the very same book now in the infants room.

"I'm still stuck on why he created a mark and never advertised it more," James shrugged.

"The man got busy I suppose," Sirius rolled his eyes.

"I think you mean, because he used to be an Auror he should be an expert on Dark stuff," Remus corrected. "After all, Minister is supposed to be more of a delegate position, handling so many affairs at once and juggling all the departments and Muggle affairs, not particularly an expert on any one thing but a jack of all trades if you will."

"Can you imagine Fudge pretending he knew what he was doing with Dark Arts?" Sirius snorted.

"A pot with a foot sticking out of it makes sense about the story though," James sighed. "This doesn't seem to have much to do with the Three Brothers."

Lily couldn't help but pause, fidgeting with unease in the silence following her own words.

"Well that was easier than I thought!" Sirius forced a surprised chuckle rather than shriveling up and screaming like his insides were doing.

"Why would she think that mark's there?" James asked.

"Because they are really running down every loose end they can," Lily sighed.

"Oh," they all muttered at catching up with her.

"I don't know, you think that's too on the nose?" Sirius asked.

"Nothing about this has been obvious!" Harry protested.

"Yeah, and it's not as if it hurts any to check around the place, for any particular reason either have in mind," Remus cautiously agreed, though no one really wanted to hear of Harry's time there as it was a shoe in for more depressing reminders of everything he'd lost, none of them could deny the place's importance to Harry.

Harry didn't even need to look over to see the sarcasm already flying forth from his godfather. "No Harry, obviously they named the place Godric after Helga Hufflepuff!"

"Did you ever put it down!" James challenged.

"Harry, that was just depressing!" Lily huffed.

"I think this is the first lively conversation you two have had since you left Grimmwauld place, possibly since the wedding!" Sirius gasped in horror.

Harry didn't deny it, which only made them feel worse.

"Didn't you name Hedwig from that book?" James asked kindly, and got exactly what he was hoping for as Harry fondly agreed.

"I've been quite distraught not to hear her catchphrase as of late," Sirius agreed.

"Ugh, is reading it actually necessary!" Remus groaned.

"It's not as if you've heard it before," Lily shot back, before reading it extra loudly.

James's eyes lit with interest, thinking if Harry did have to go there at least that would be fun to hear of, rather than, other places.

Like that! He shivered and repressed the urge to be sick at the thought of Lily having a grave, let alone his, let alone hauntings above them!

"I've never been more grateful to be irrelevant," James managed an awkward smile.

"Hermione seems to forget not everyone has a one track mind like her," Remus agreed, as that had been on Harry's mind since the end of his last year.

Harry felt a funny tickling sensation in the pit of his gut, but it was so dull and foreign to him what that could mean anymore he hardly gave it a passing thought.

"That girl is going to give us a heart attack one day," Lily said mildly.

"As if she hasn't already," James sighed. "I've stopped trying to count the amount of times she's freaked out over something, starting with her first homework assignment."

Harry couldn't help but snort in surprise, a welcome grin once again on his face considering what they were all fixing to hear about.

"There's no way that's the secret that was in the letter," Remus muttered, mostly to himself. "None of this had even happened when Lily was writing Sirius."

"Still stuck on that one?" Sirius chuckled.

"There's got to be some connection between the two we're missing, hopefully Harry finds it while he's there," Remus shrugged.

James gave an uneasy laugh of agreement just because Harry looked like he needed it. They all bitterly agreed yet again none of this had been much explained at all.

"Personally I was more ecstatic at the news of tinned pears, but to each there own," Sirius shrugged.

"Probably a better option," Lily agreed, "so long as you can convince Bathilda you are who you say you are. Any other way could be problematic, plenty of people have charms about their house to let them know when someone's hiding on their property."

Remus snorted and tried to repress the rest of his laughter with a lot of effort. "You do that quite a lot to your friends, friend, to Hermione," he awkwardly finished at the end.

Harry couldn't quite muster up the same laugh, in fact if they didn't know any better he was doing the same to them now and only absently agreeing while delving into the thoughts in his head again.

Lily tried her hardest to read this next part in the same way, to match her sons excitement and see it from his perspective, but even she heard her voice was lackluster at best being so brutally reminded for days on end now how their life had ended in the place Harry was about to go to.

Lily and James exchanged a broken look for only a second, but Harry sitting in between them forced them to gobble together something else before he had to see for too long.

"We want all of that for you love," Lily sighed. "I'm sure you know we'd have done anything for you to get that and more." It felt pointless to tell him something he clearly knew, but she felt like she had to say something to his guilty expression, as if he needed to apologize for letting his mind being shown right here.

He could only quickly agree, and ushered her on instead of lingering on the travesty that was his past, highlighted more every day he was here where he was supposed to be all along.

Some absent part of James' mind was almost thankful they in fact had moved to Godric's Hollow for all of this to happen. If the deed had been done here, he didn't know how he'd be able to spend another second in this house they'd claimed. All the memory's of their time here as he and Lily lived a happily married life would be tainted with Voldemort's shadow, at least in such a place as Godric's Hollow it would forever be far enough away he wouldn't have to associate it with home. He did wonder for the first time what had happened here. Had some family moved into this empty space long after they'd left and made it the happy home his son was now dreaming of? It was the best outcome for such a place he could imagine.**

Harry had to swallow painfully a few times, but he'd never miss the opportunity to remind those bleak faces, "at least now I have the best memories."

He got what he'd been hoping for and they smiled at him. These two weeks here were now ingrained in him so deeply he was convinced he could never forget a single detail, these were moments even magic could never have replicated.

Lily forced out a strangled breath, but her chest only constricted tighter in the next moment. No matter what she did, she could not force away the tight pain flashing all over her. She'd never been to this village, and now she never could without falling to the pavement sobbing.

Then she laughed. A hysterical little bubble of noise, but one matched all around for the release they'd really needed, breaking at least the smallest part of the tension that they could do nothing to vanish from their home.

"I swear you lot will never learn!" James fervently told Harry something any first year figured out when trying to sneak out of the castle during the colder months. They'd even gone to Hagrid's enough times he'd have thought at least this was obvious.

Harry looked appropriately sheepish, even joined in on laughing at his past slip ups once more, it certainly made him feel better than dwelling on all the spirits from his past now living in front of him.

"I suppose putting a sign up would be a bit too helpful," Remus offered with a shrug. To be fair most family's didn't post their names on the mailboxes like Muggles had been want to do in the past.

"It would be a bit of a problem to just start asking around," Sirius sighed.

Harry winced and silently thanked them for not yet again pointing out this was something he should have tried to figure out before just walking into the place.

Harry winced painfully for that being put so brutally in the forefront, but thankfully the others seemed distracted by the question more than anything.

"You do know though," Sirius was quick to point out the problem rather than dwelling on the results. "Dumbledore died, but Grimmwauld place is still under the Fidelius Charm with a bunch of Secret Keepers. So, unless the caster removed it-" he stopped abruptly with a pained look on his face like he was going to be sick, his likely conclusion clear to everyone. The house James and Lily had made their last stand likely may not have even been visible to Harry, as their Secret Keeper did still live, and had not shared the place with Harry.***

"Better than an alternative holiday," Remus muttered, though the bittersweet idea of Harry having first seen his parents around Christmas in his first year being mirrored in their final resting place here wasn't feeling much better.

James' voice caught painfully in his throat, his mind crowding with the image of the last time his son had been in a graveyard and what all had happened there, how he'd never be able to hear of the place again without thinking of a traitor.

Harry almost wished he hadn't done it now, his parents in front of him now looking haunted was just no comparison. He tried to reach back for what he'd felt then, to somehow justify to himself how this had been a perfectly reasonable want, but then his dad gave him a clumsy half hug and tried to promise Harry didn't have to explain anything to them in a voice he was clearly trying to keep from cracking.

"Can we not use that turn of phrase right now?" Sirius muttered to no one in particular.

James looked like he was going to be sick. There was something far too permanent about being immortalized in a statue like this, more than any pictures could do to him.

Sirius' mind scrambled desperately to distract his best mate, and himself, from this and as usual blurted the first thing that came to mind. "I'm offended for you Prongs! They gave you a statue, but not a bloody Chocolate Frog Card?"

James gave him a weak little smile in return. There was a jest in him, about the irony he was the one to get such a statue when Sirius far more deserved something like that and would construct one himself. He couldn't get a word out.

Sirius gave him a wink anyways, understanding every bit of it and promising they'd compare notoriety later when they could more easily laugh again.

Lily almost lost control and darted up the stairs, to the crib where her infant was and check again he was still alive, healthy and happy instead of frozen forever in this way. She loved her son, the man he'd become, but there was still some part of her that wished she could take seeing this all away from him.

"My favorite part of the year," Sirius muttered absently.

Remus sniffled for a few moments as he went through all that again in not only Harry's mind but his own, how these holidays had always been his favorite for the time he and Sirius spent roaming these empty halls and feeling even more free than the rest of his friends did during the full moon. The teachers giving them more leeway than any other time of year, when he could join in on the adventures of a mysterious night in his own free will. Would that be tainted as well now, with this memory overlapping all the rest?

There were many aspects of this that were utterly depressing for a variety of reasons, but one that she noted in a more abstract way was how sad it seemed Harry was the first visitor this place seemed to have in a while. If one were to visit a grave, as surely many in this village had connections to, wouldn't this day be optimal? It was, in some way, a good thing and left Harry to himself more she supposed.

"Or a very close one," James muttered. For all they knew, she lived in this very village.

"It's impolite to shout in a graveyard," Sirius stated, his face devoid of its usual snark and making him just look eerie. Lily shivered more than ever as she kept going.

For a moment, Lily had thought her vision had blurred right out of focus, but then she realized Hickory had leaped into her lap and was rubbing his face along the edge of the book and her hand, mewling quietly before doing a little spin and plopping into a warm purring ball on her lap. She stroked her cats warm fur and smiled for a moment as he leaned into her touch, murmuring to him before looking up with the smallest of grins at her family. The boys looked half exasperated, half amused her cat had chosen this moment to butt in, but merely adjusted to awkwardly holding the book with one hand so she wouldn't dislodge him as she forced herself to keep going.

James rubbed at his chest as he heavily cursed at nothing for a moment. "I swear, if Hermione starts pointing out every classmate she spots in there, I'm going to kick her out!"

"I'm just hoping it wasn't a Chang, I can't see how Harry would care about that one," Sirius offered in agreement.

James deflated and muttered that was something to catch her attention at least, though everyone else had other priorities.

Lily couldn't help but wonder, if Dumbledore hadn't spent time avoiding Harry but instead been open with him at least a year sooner if not longer, perhaps they would have. In the split second this came to mind she just as quickly forced her way past it, she was drowning in enough what-ifs without adding to them.

Sirius hadn't realized he'd made such a deep noise of distress until Remus rubbed his back in commiseration. His mind wasn't particularly on Dumbledore though, but his own stray thought twining into existence of he and Harry doing this, or even coming along here by himself. Even thinking of it now was unbearable, he'd never find any peace for what happened to James in such a cold lifeless place, and he had his best friend right here still.

Lily paused and glanced up at her son, seeing his laser focus gaze on her as if drinking in every detail for the first time. She smiled as she did the same before dragging her eyes back away, no doubt in her this had changed since then.

"Right, yeah, slipped his mind amidst the Horcrux chats and the conversation over socks," Remus grumbled.

James ground his teeth painfully together and nearly tore a few hairs up he rubbed at them so hard. He was fighting back the urge to rip the book away from Lily and chuck it in the fireplace for as sick as he was feeling, and Hermione constantly doing this was going to push him over!

"I'd have bloody ignored her," Remus muttered to no one.

James shifted restlessly as he completely brushed this off, torn between gratitude Hermione was distracting Harry and wishing she'd never stop.

The painful knot that had been building finally reached its peak. No one could stop themselves inching closer to the other, refusing to let a ghost slip in-between what Lily was describing.

Harry took a deep breath, but no matter how many times he did he couldn't forget that feeling. His mother and father, here now, warm and alive and doing everything he'd always dreamed in just talking and looking right at him instead of threw him, would never erase his past of when they hadn't, this moment.

James Potter snorted. Then he coughed, and tried to wipe away the snot and tears that had erupted, but he couldn't stop as he looked at Remus. It was not funny, but it was perfect.

"Why is that there?" Harry protested, worried his dads mind had finally snapped as he watched this reaction. "That's not- you wouldn't- did Death Eater's-"

"Oh Harry," James threw his arm around his son and fought back a sob. "This is, something-" he couldn't keep going. "You can't take everything so literally son!"

Harry watched him, desperately trying to understand, his mind pin-balling to disassociate this with something he'd heard was Voldemort's goal in life. Then he too looked at Remus. He'd never questioned who had put such a thing there, though his first thought would have been Dumbledore, something about the last Marauder's face so resembling his fathers gave him his answer.

"I'm announcing this as my favorite Hermione know it all moment." Sirius declared, jabbing his finger so violently into the air to make his point he looked like he was trying to gouge something out of the air.

"Mine's still the Skeeter beetle," James argued.

Lily didn't bother trying to repress tears anymore either. She let them fall, watching her husband and dearest friends struggling to not do the same in a last ditch fight to remind themselves this had not yet come to pass, but her son crying just as freely now right in front of her. Her voice chocked several times as she tried to finish, the tang of salt occasionally slipping into her mouth just as unnoticed.

In that moment, Harry almost wanted to laugh at himself from an hour ago as he was once again reminded, he could always feel worse.

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Somehow, the next chapter is still going to be worse!

* I take personal offense to this paragraph, because it mocks my entire idea I had of this book. When the last one ended with the trio set on not going back to school, I fully expected to get a wide variety of all new magical locations, each different and rich with detail as JK usually provides on their search for places the Horcruxes could be. Godric's Hollow is the only location I got and it's nothing but depressing! That's not necessarily a bad thing, and in fact I'd probably love this a heck of a lot more if it had been mixed in with other high flying adventures and this a calm bleak middle of why they're doing it all. Instead, nope, just more depressing things after another! If you count Luna's house and Shell Cottage that's three new places they visit total, and I don't count Malfoy's since all we got to see of that was the dungeon when it could have been really interesting to see where Draco grew up, especially as the book started there and we could have had some interesting contrast of what the place was like with and without Voldemort there murdering Muggle Studies teachers. Sigh, guess my imagination ran away with me before I picked this one up. I just remember specifically reading this paragraph and making a face for reminding me of the cold, which I hate, and how I hadn't liked most of what I was reading in a series I so love.

**I actually have the headcannon this turns into Remus' place. Dumbledore specifically mentioned he had one in GoF, and while it's just as likely it could have been Lupins parents place, I like this better. I know many people always thought the Potter's lived in Godric's Hollow their whole, short, adult life but I just never favored that, never even entertained it before I saw everyone else saying it.

***This is a major plot hole I don't see a lot of people talk about. The obvious solution is, Peter removed the charm and let the place be open again as he went off to live life as a rat, but why would he? There's no reason to. It's said that Dumbledore put some sort of charm up to let him know something had happened there, which is why Hagrid was there that same night, but why could he get in? It's possible that the magic that blasted Voldemort out of his body from the rebound curse was so powerful it lifted away the Fidelius Charm and basically every bit of magic in the area, but yeah, bothered me a bit it's never directly mentioned.

**** For the longest time, I thought this meant the gate was decoratively in the shape of lips for some reason, and it wasn't until I started taking Equestrian classes did I learn this was a special type of gate around livestock. Random fun fact for the day, if you didn't know.

Sorry for rambling a bit this chapter, I warned you in advance.