Earlier that evening, Severus sat on his hospital bed, his black eyes focusing dejectedly on the unmoving feather quill that Madam Pomfrey had provided for him to test his spellcasting after returning the spare Wide-Eye Potion to her stores.

Severus had taken a nap for a few hours after eating the hearty lunch that Lily delivered for him, so he was rested and well-fed following her easing up on his post-concussion restrictions. Poppy had been completely beside herself as she watched the magically gifted student put on a display of total magical ineptitude. There was, simply put, no explanation she could find as to why it wasn't working.

But the reborn, former Head of Slytherin House could surmise what the issue was from knowledge that the medical witch didn't have access to. After all, he was now, for all intents and purposes, a vastly different person from his teenage self. All he could guess was that his rebirth into this form had somehow severed the link between his mind and his magical core, taking his ability to cast magic along with it.

A soul-crushing possibility for Severus to face, especially with the goal he had affirmed for this new life just last night. How in Merlin's name was he to stand against the Dark Lord and keep Lily safe if he was now, by all rights, a useless Squib?

He took a deep breath in before holding it and counting to ten. Recalling his failed attempts to teach Occlumency to Harry Potter, he did everything he could to cast away everything else in the world but the task at hand. Of course, that begat the obvious question. If he wasn't able to cast magic, was he even closing his mind off or just doing a stupid Muggle breathing exercise?

"Stop thinking about it and move the bloody quill" he thought, focusing only on that singular idea as he pointed his wand at the feather and enunciated in perfect sync with his wand movement.

"Wingardium Leviosa."

Unfortunately, after all of that build-up, Snape was once again met with crushing disappointment as the spell failed to successfully cast. It had been no less than a hundred attempts, and none of them bore even a hint of success.

Panic began to set in Severus' heart. His mission, his entire purpose for rebirth, a chance to do something right this time...it was falling apart around him after barely a full day. Now he understood how that revolting toad, Dolores Umbridge felt as her ridiculous collection of Educational Decrees began to crash down around her as the students of Hogwarts rose up in defiance. But for Severus, everything that had been crashing were his hopes and dreams, what little of them actually remained.

Had this been some form of sick game that Albus had been playing with him? To fling him back to a time of great turmoil in his life only to be powerless to actually use any of his knowledge and skill to avert Lily's demise? The great sorcerer's flights of whimsy and odd behavior had been well known to Severus by this point, but he had hoped that Albus had been serious about everything they discussed while in that white purgatory.

At the thought of the old wizard, Severus looked back out the window, seeing the perfectly well-lit Headmaster's Tower. And seeing that Madam Pomfrey had briefly left the Hospital Wing in order to eat dinner and keep her fellow Hogwarts staff members informed, the raven-haired boy felt that it was finally time to sneak out to have a private conversation with his former spymaster…

Heaving himself to stand up on shaky, unfamiliar legs was an awkward experience for Severus. Trying to walk in his usual, deliberate march that commanded the respect of his students seemed quite an ordeal on these spidery, twig-like legs that had still not yet matured into an adult's. At the very least his posture had been stiff and proper, something that could not be said for his idiotic, 16-year old self…

With one last look up towards his destination, no longer plagued by the dizziness and nausea from the night before, Severus stepped towards the entrance of the Hospital Wing.

"A bit late for an afternoon stroll, isn't it? And also too early for a midnight one." came an unfamiliar girl's voice that startled Severus just as he reached the chamber door. He sharply turned towards the smiling face of the Ravenclaw girl. Her hair, singed and ruined earlier that day by her obvious accident in Potions class, had grown back out to a shoulder-length, dirty blonde color thanks to Madam Pomfrey's use of an extremely small dose of Manegro Potion.

"And...you are..?" Severus asked, feeling quite sure that he had seen this girl somewhere before.

"I suppose you can call me Pandora. Everyone else does. Pandora Whittle. And you're Severus Snape...though a lot of people call you Snivellus. That doesn't seem very nice though...so I think I'll just call you Severus."

As the girl rambled in her whimsical, singsong voice, his eyes widened in recognition. The resemblance to Luna Lovegood was uncanny.

"You know who I am?" he asked, quite certain that he had never known Pandora in any significant capacity in his previous life.

"I know lots of things. I see lots of things." she kept grinning at him with those faraway eyes.

"Clearly as off her rocker as her daughter is." Severus groaned as he shifted in place, trying to get out of this awkward conversation before Madam Pomfrey returned.

"For example." Pandora continued, narrowing her gaze in an exaggerated way as if to give him a few seconds of appraisal. "Your aura's a lot different from how it used to be just a few days ago. Have you by chance been playing with fairies?"

The shifting immediately ceased as he looked into her eyes, pale and silver like the glow of a Patronus. Could she somehow sense his circumstances?

"I'd love to continue this fascinating conversation with you, Pandora, but I'm afraid that I need to be somewhere. I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell Madam Pomfrey where I went if she arrives before I get back." he explained, a mixture of adult pleasantries laced with just a bit of mockery.

Pandora blinked, tilting her head in confusion. "How can I tell her where you went if you haven't told me?"

Severus paused for a moment, taken aback by how observant this girl was, in her own interesting way. "A...good point I suppose." he shrugged, turning back towards the door to go towards the Great Staircase.

"Oh, Severus...one last thing before you go. Try to avoid the explosion tonight. I can attest that they're quite painful." she whispered, pointing at the still-healing burns and boils dotting her otherwise pretty face.

"Explosion?" Severus pondered before rolling his eyes and shaking his head dismissively. One second she seemed smarter than her words would suggest, while still undeniably insane. Clearly the girl had lost the plot after all. "Like mother, like daughter."

"Thank you for the advice." he muttered, his voice dripping with sarcasm as he finally escaped the Hospital Wing which had been his prison, and Madam Pomfrey the warden.

Though the Great Staircase usually had a history of taking students on detours through branches and paths less traveled through Hogwarts Castle, the stairways on this particular occasion seemed to behave and allow Severus direct access to the second floor corridor leading to Dumbledore's office. Perhaps the stairs recognized his authority as a former Headmaster, though he quickly dismissed that theory as preposterous.

Once he arrived at the Gargoyle Statue guarding the entrance to the Headmaster's Chamber, that was when he realized his true ordeal would begin. Staring at the face of the stone statue, he scowled, trying to remember some of the ridiculous passwords that Albus had used over the years.

"Sherbet Lemon..?" he asked the statue, but was met with stony silence.

"Blasted sweets...Albus always had a fondness for them that I've never understood." Severus hissed before beginning to rattle off the series of names that he did remember.

"Licorice Wand...Pumpkin Pasty...Every-Flavor Beans?"

Still nothing…

"Open up, damn you!" he swore with increasing desperation in his black eyes, hearing the ticking of the castle's clock tower in the distance. Time was moving forward...inching closer and closer to Lily's death and he was of no more use to helping her than a Muggle. Severus punched his fist into the wall like his drunken Muggle father, a pit opening up in his stomach at the mere thought of Tobias Snape.

"You're just as useless as he is...you can't protect Lily with magic, you can't even warn the bloody Headmaster!" his doubts swirled in a maelstrom.

Severus' breathing quickened, the onset of a panic attack that he had suffered only once before. The morning he had been informed of Lily's death. He couldn't live through that again...but if he could not use his skills to assist Dumbledore, there was no hope of averting that fate...even if his idiotic self didn't inform Voldemort of the prophecy this time, there could be other Death Eaters who could spy for him. Other ways the future could still come to pass. The only certainty of Lily's survival was if the Dark Lord were destroyed before she could throw herself in front of her baby boy.

"I won't have it!" he spat with rage.

"Won't have what, Snivellus?"

Severus froze instinctively at the pompous voice echoing down the hall behind him. A voice he hadn't heard in decades and would be happy to never hear again.

"What's a bastard like you doing pacing in front of Dumbledore's office for ten minutes, rattling off candies like you're trying to guess the password and break in?!"

"Ignore it…" the voice inside pleaded. Ignore it and it'll go away…"

"Snape! If you want revenge for what happened at the lake, you take it up with me! Leave Dumbledore out of it, you filthy Death Eater! Face me, coward!"

The dam broke. That word again...why was it that so many fools seemed so determined to call him that?

Severus slowly turned to face the four that had forever been a stain on his life.

Remus Lupin, the spineless fool who wouldn't dare rein in his friends whenever they pulled him into one of their stupid ideas…the werewolf who nearly killed him that full moon night at the Shrieking Shack all those years ago.

Sirius Black, who hated Slytherin House almost as much as a Death Eater hated those with a Muggle for a parent. A rebellious child who seemed to be acting out his greatest, sadistic fantasy when he sent Severus unknowingly to find said werewolf…

Peter Pettigrew. The snivelling worm who always chased the cloaks of those stronger and more remarkable than he was. The rat whose lack of Gryffindor bravado led to his betrayal of Lily's last line of defense. If there was one person he blamed for her death more than himself, it was Wormtail.

And of course, leading the merry band of Gryffindor's finest was James Potter. The glue that held it all together. That stupid Quidditch Snitch had still been clutched in the left hand while his wand was raised in the other. The face that had stolen Lily's eyes and bore the human headache that was Harry Potter. The last face Severus had ever seen.

"Coward...am I, Potter?" Severus grit his teeth in a snarl, doing everything he could to hold back his fury. "Bold talk for someone who brought his usual entourage."

"I don't need help to knock you on your ass, Snivellus!

"You couldn't beat me four-on-one on your best day, you swine!" Severus shouted with abhorrence at his lingering uselessness. Nonetheless, he raised his wand once more this evening, hoping to Merlin that he still had something left for James-Bloody-Potter.

Just once...he knew how intoxicatingly good it would feel to truly embarrass the golden boy and make him feel so powerless.

Recalling the time that he had put that smug blowhard, Gilderoy Lockhart in his place with just one spell…

"Ex-pelliarmus!" Severus shouted the incantation so precisely and so quickly that James didn't have an opportunity to block the oncoming Disarming Charm…had there actually been one to block. But alas, it was not to be, and Severus merely stood there, wand raised, and looking foolish as no magic was performed.

James' brief surprise quickly dissolved into humor as he began chuckling that hearty, happy laugh of a spoiled brat who'd been coddled his whole life. Whose parents adored him and never told him 'No'. Who waltzed right into Severus' life, took Lily away from him, and then rode off into the sunset remembered as a hero…

All because he had been unable to actually stop the Dark Lord and protect his wife and child that horrible night. Leaving Severus to babysit and protect that child despite himself...

"Ha...hahahahaha!" James laughed, quickly joined by Sirius and Peter. Although Remus did not join in the teasing laughter his friends were engulfed by, his mouth did curl upwards ever-so-slightly.

"Lemme show you how it's done, Snivellus! Expelliarmus!" With no way to defend, Severus' ebony wand flew out of his hand and landed right at James Potter's feet.

By now, a small, but quickly growing crowd of students began to form from all of the commotion that was being made. Many of them were first and second years, new to the antics of the Marauders, but Severus' prickly reputation preceded him.

"What's the matter? Forget how to do magic, Snape? Then...maybe you'd like to play catch?" he asked with a grin, holding the Snitch between his fingers before letting it fly. "Oppugno!" He waved his wand like a conductor's baton, his movements exaggerated with a flair for showmanship.

Suddenly, the usually timid, jittering golden orb flew towards Severus like a Centaur on the hunt. In vain, he tried to swat it away like a bothersome fly, but it swiftly dodged his strike and smashed against his nose with the speed of a bolt of lightning. The lone Slytherin boy crumbled to the ground, clutching his nose in pain. He knew from past experience as a child long ago with his abusive father, that it had been broken.

"Take my word for it, Snivellus. You'd be a lousy Quidditch Keeper!" Sirius chuckled.

The crowd of students laughed and jeered at Severus alongside the Marauders.

Never one to shy from a crowd, James Potter began to strut towards his fallen foe, wand in hand like a hero who had just conquered a vile beast that kidnapped the princess.

"Who wants to see me take this useless piece of rubbish to the bin?"

The crowd erupted in applause, eager to see something like what the rumored fight at the lake had been like.

Severus' eyes roamed the crowd, a sea of nameless faces, the students of Hogwarts, just like the ones he had sworn to Dumbledore that he would protect. Yet here he was alone, surrounded by people who hated him...incapable of doing magic, incapable of defeating his rival, and incapable of saving Lily. A tool that had lost its edge...useless for its one and only purpose.

The panic attack that started briefly before the arrival of the Marauders hit Severus with renewed vigor, his breaths shallow, his mind racing, unable to shake the total feeling of powerlessness that he felt on the morning after Lily had been murdered…

He didn't want this anymore. He didn't want to watch from the sidelines as Lily married this cackling Quidditch fool once again. He didn't want to be powerless to stop Voldemort from murdering her again. All he wanted to do was skip to the end of this story...because he had lived its end only two days ago.

"I wish...I wish I were dead…" Those had been the words that he uttered the night that Dumbledore made Severus swear to protect his enemy's son.

Once again, it was now all he wished for. He crawled like a dying animal towards James Potter's mahogany wand and planted his head against its tip.

"...do it…" he choked out in a hoarse whisper, feeling the emptiness and misery spread through his soul like cracks on an old, abused cauldron that was threatening to shatter.

Clearly, the noise from the crowd was far too loud to hear such a pitiful whisper, so James leaned in closer with a sneer, eager to hear whatever his rival had to say. "What's that, Snivellus?"

"Do it…" Severus repeated, his eyes finally rising up to meet James' hazel gaze once again. Though there was no fight left in those black pools, no disdain or hatred left for his eternal tormentor. Just emptiness, like a Dementor had performed the Kiss and sucked out his soul. This was not Occlumency...but the loss of a will to go on.

For the first time, James' arrogant smirk began to waver as he registered what Severus had quietly demanded, his ears losing track of the roar of the crowd and focusing only on the fallen Slytherin.

But Severus' sorrow won free; his feelings of shame and inadequacy rose to the forefront. "I said….DO IT!" he bellowed, silencing everyone in the crowd. Suddenly, his hyperventilating became crystal clear to the some four dozen students gathered in the hallway. The bespectacled Marauder, usually so loud and brash, was silent in the face of Severus' suicidal demand.

Snape's wide black eyes stared up in fury, unable to believe that Potter wasn't jumping at the chance to be rid of him for good. The image of that old cauldron chipped...its fissures audibly spreading with its violently brewing contents beginning to seep through the cracks…

"DO IT, POTTER!" he screamed as he grabbed the wand in desperation, wanting nothing more than to die at that moment. Needing to die before he uselessly allowed Lily to perish again.

In an instant, the cauldron in his mind's eye burst, shattering into a thousand pieces. At the same moment, a deafening explosion boomed through the halls, and everything faded to black once again...

Author's Note: I'm well aware of the sensitive subject explored in this chapter, and how it goes against Severus' almost unbreakable sense of duty to simply a memory. Which is why the apparent loss of his magic is so crushing for him. The last thing he wants to be in the face of another chance at Lily's survival is helpless and useless to her.

A happier note, however, is the delightful introduction of Pandora Lovegood, who I've given the maiden name of Whittle because of a character in the extended canon, Winifred Whittle. Read about her on the wiki if you like, her story and even her physical description give me serious Luna vibes. I realize that Pandora is a character name that has been used in other "Sev Back in Time" stories, most notably the Peace Not Promised, but I'm hoping that my version can be loveable and quirky enough in her own way. Her introduction is one of the reasons I chose to show the scene of Severus' breakdown in reverse order with Lily's POV first.