Despite her exhaustion following a sleepless night, the morning spent with Severus did wonders for Lily's emotional state. Hugging him for the first time since before they first entered Hogwarts felt good to her, even if it seemed like he was taking a more cautionary and awkward approach to it.
Of course, this wasn't a surprise to Lily. Severus had always been particularly fussy about his personal space. Every time Professor Slughorn patted him on the back for a job well-done in Potions class, the positive reinforcement would simply result in a scowl from her best friend. And while Lily had tried to avoid Severus when he was around his...other group of friends in Slytherin House, she did notice that he always remained distant. Not since that snobbish prat, Lucius Malfoy, had he engaged in so much as a handshake with his fellow students in the house of snakes.
But after a night of reflection and worry for her injured and clearly broken friend, Lily realized that she often hugged her own companions in Gryffindor. Mary and Marlene (when the latter wasn't being a bullheaded pain in the arse) were frequent recipients, and even Remus had received a hug a time or two when he'd had a particularly rough full moon cycle. While Lupin didn't feel comfortable trusting Lily about his condition, she had worked out the truth by fourth year, and she'd done her best to walk the tightrope of trying to support him while respecting the fact that he clearly didn't want her to know.
They had been given Lily's warmth and tactile methods of showing her affection. So why had it been so long since she hugged Severus?
"So...how did your first week of O.W.L.s go, Sev?" Lily asked as she wiped the last remaining tears out of her eyes. "Minus missing your Runes exam yesterday, of course. You'll have to make that up later."
Severus lowered his eye contact with her, squinting in a peculiar way. "I suppose it's gone alright so far. You know what a chore History of Magic can be…"
Lily paused, tilting her head in confusion. "History? That's not until next Friday, Sev."
The boy nodded hastily, his eyes widening just a touch. "Right...I just meant that...even studying for the exam can cause one to pass out from boredom."
Lily's perplexed demeanor quickly vanished, her friend's explanation satisfactory. "Oh, alright. That makes sense. What about Defense? Did the Boggart give you as much trouble as it did for me?"
Severus smirked with satisfaction. "Considering that my Boggart that day was a Werewolf, it was a relatively simple matter to turn it into a sniveling little toy breed that sniffed the proctor's backside. Easy."
"I shouldn't be surprised that you did so well. Defense and Potions are your two strongest subjects. I'm worried that my poor performance doesn't hurt my grade too much in light of...well, you know…" she muttered, the warmth in her cheeks beginning to fade.
There really wasn't a comfortable way for Lily to speak of her Boggart around Severus. What must he have felt knowing she could believe in that fear enough for it to manifest bearing his own face? Even worse, how awful must it be to know that she couldn't shake it off and cast Riddikulus to repel it.
Lily bit her lip at the uncomfortable silence that followed, determined to get off this topic before she made him feel any worse about himself. "Oh! I was able to cast a Patronus! Surely that's got to count for some sort of extra credit, right?"
Severus' black eyes finally rose back up to meet hers again. "Really? What shape was it?"
"N-no! Not a corporeal one. Just the standard mist…wait…" she hesitated, taking note of how casual his tone was at such a difficult charm. "You ask that question like you expected a different answer. You...can't cast a real Patronus...can you, Sev?"
Her aloof friend simply continued to look at her without giving an answer, but his silence was deafening.
"No way...really?" Lily asked, totally in awe of the unspoken confession. "What shape is yours?"
Severus snorted in his usual, pitiful attempt at laughter. "If the day ever comes when I can control my magic again, then I might consider showing it to you. Until then, that's a mystery that you must ignore."
"Do you think that when that happens...you might be able to teach me how to conjure one that powerful?" Lily huffed with just a bit of playful frustration at her friend's stonewalling.
"It's not something that I can teach you, Lily. If you can already make the mist, then you just need to find a stronger memory." he said.
The redheaded witch nodded, understanding enough of the charm to know that Severus was right...but how was a boy as emotionally repressed as him able to accomplish it? He barely knew how to hug for Merlin's sake!
"Hang on. What memory do you use for your Patronus then?" she blurted out before immediately realizing how tactless her question had been.
Again, Severus didn't answer her; he just continued to look into her eyes with that intense gaze that had been almost constantly directed towards her ever since the incident at the lake…It wasn't long after noticing his stare that Lily felt her cheeks warm.
"God, he's looking at me like that again…" she thought. Given the path this conversation had taken them down, Lily couldn't help but suspect that his chosen Patronus memory had something to do with her...which only made that warmth in her cheeks turn hot in embarrassment.
"A-Anyway!" Lily stammered, hastily getting to her feet. "I've got a Quidditch game to attend. Marlene would be really disappointed if I missed it. Besides that, Madam Pomfrey will probably be coming by soon to see if it'll be safe to discharge you."
A pang of guilt sliced through her when she realized how hastily she was trying to leave after such an important few moments with her best friend. They were finally talking casually again, and just because of some things that he said, or more importantly, what he didn't say, she was trying to escape? That wouldn't do. She wanted to at least make sure that they were still okay.
Looking down at her airy, green blouse, Lily quickly pressed out the messy wrinkles that had formed while she was hugging him. "You're sure I can't convince you to join Mary, Marlene and I after the Quidditch game, Sev?"
She didn't specifically tell him the location, but it was no secret where she always went to hang out with her friends during time away from studying. She loved the outdoor breeze during springtime at Hogwarts. And by now, the water of the lake was more than warm enough to soothe the aches of walking through the hard stone and marble halls of the castle. It was a pity that Alice had scarcely been able to join them this year because of her tremendous responsibilities as Head Girl.
But that void had not yet been filled by anyone else. Lily, Mary, and Marlene had often noticed how their friend's absence had shaken the stability of their group. Why couldn't Severus join them?
"I know it's your favorite spot to spend time with your girlfriends, but...I hope you can understand that I'm not keen on going back to the lake." he said.
"That's why…" Lily thought sadly. She couldn't blame Severus for not wanting to return to a place where such embarrassing memories stemmed from, not even counting the fact that James had given him a bloody concussion there.
Once Lily arrived at the Quidditch pitch, ten minutes late to watch the start of the game, the roar of the crowd did little to fight the exhaustion that was piling onto her. Sitting in the stands next to Mary, she had to repeatedly rub her eyes to so much as pick out which of the red blurs in the sky was Marlene.
Fortunately, Bertram Aubrey, a fifth-year Ravenclaw, was offering his always expert commentary for the consolation game between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff. Unless this game went on for a full day and resulted in massive amounts of points, neither team was in contention for the Quidditch Cup over the much more cohesive teams that Slytherin and Ravenclaw had boasted this year.
Lily's eyes glazed slightly at the mesmerizing, back-and-forth movement of the reds and yellows in the blue sky above her. The need to sleep was threatening to take her, and Marlene's earlier comments about her trying out for the team next year didn't help matters as she sleepily rested her eyes. A tiny little grin teased at her lips, imagining what it would be like to feel that warm, spring breeze kiss her cheeks and blow through her hair right now. She began to nod off before being startled back to alertness once the Gryffindors around her cheered in unison.
"And another goal scored by Marlene McKinnon! That makes her fifth today! This girl is on a mission!" shouted the excited voice of Bertram. Clearly he was much more favorable to Gryffindor than his usual commentary suggested, on account of a particularly nasty prank played upon him by James and Sirius two years prior. With neither Marauder on the team today, he was able to be his usual, impartial self who only wanted to liven up the crowd.
"Wow, five in less than twenty minutes? Marlene's killing it today!" Lily groggily spoke into Mary's ear as the two witches continued to watch her friend.
"And you haven't kept your eyes open for a single one of them." Mary said back in concern once they stopped clapping. "I know you want to be here for Mar, but why not go get some rest?"
"Mary, I promised her I'd come. I can't blame anyone but myself for this." Lily said as she gently slapped her temples a bit to try and wake up.
Once she looked back up at the sky with renewed vigor, the redhead was finally able to focus her eyes on her friend as Marlene soared through the sky, bobbing and weaving through the Bludger that the Hufflepuff Beaters tried to smash back and forth to stop her relentless assault.
Right after Marlene scored her sixth goal, Lily's gaze caught a hint of gold within the sea of blue.
"Ooh! Mary! I see the Snitch!" she said with excitement, pointing at the tiny, winged orb as it zoomed past two Hufflepuff Chasers who were trying hopelessly to defend Marlene's offense.
"Pity that Frank hasn't. Poor bloke has so much on his plate. They ought to outlaw Head Boys and Girls from ever playing Quidditch." Mary said with a shake of her head. "But that's great, Lily! Maybe Marlene's right. You should at least try out next year if you've got eyes that sharp!"
"You're telling me that despite knowing that I'm not much better off, being a Prefect?" Lily asked with a tired smile. "I'll think about it. I've got all summer to decide."
Despite Marlene's All-Star Caliber performance as a Chaser, rising up to her team's adversity was not enough to lift it to victory. While she alone had scored nine goals versus the three that the Hufflepuffs scored on the first-year replacement for Sirius Black at Keeper, in the end it was Amelia Bones, a third-year Hufflepuff who caught the Golden Snitch and secured victory for her team. It didn't surprise anyone in the Gryffindor audience that Frank Longbottom had lost the Snitch yet again this year.
The Prewett twins, Fabian and Gideon, played tremendous defense as the Gryffindor Beaters to hold Hufflepuff to only 30 points until the Snitch was caught. Regardless of their incredible talent, a team with only four veteran players was not enough to overcome the more complete Hufflepuff team thanks to the absence of Sirius and James. Especially when the Seeker was an overworked Head Boy.
Most intriguing to Lily, however, was the fact that neither Seeker had moved for twenty minutes after she first caught sight of the golden ball. Even if she wasn't as good on a broomstick as Marlene or James Potter, surely that had to count for something.
After enjoying a brief lunch in the hall, the three Gryffindor girls took their usual spot at the shore of the lake that afternoon. It was unusual for Lily to join them on a Saturday because that was when she usually was assigned to Prefect duties in Hogsmeade, but thanks to McGonagall's reprieve, she was free to enjoy another day with her friends.
"Twenty minutes? You know what that means, don't you Lily?" Marlene asked, immediately lighting up at Lily and Mary's revelation. While she was disappointed in losing the game to Hufflepuff, her friends had assured her that there was nothing more that she could do as an individual.
"That you're drafting me to be your Seeker next year?" Lily said with a smile as she pulled off her red and gold-striped Gryffindor socks.
"Sorry. No special treatment, even for friends." Marlene said. "Actually, while you were at the Hospital Wing, Mary and I had an interesting little idea."
Mary gently dipped her feet into the lake with a deep, relaxing breath in before nodding. "Mar suggested that we get you trained up so you're more comfortable on a broom, but it's a little hard to do that when we live in Muggle neighborhoods. What do you say we plan on a little trip this summer? I live pretty close to Bournemouth which has a beautiful beach! Mum and Dad will be out of the country for their twentieth anniversary.
"Mary...your solution to practice flying is to go on a beach surrounded by Muggles?" Lily asked, too tired to even attempt to sound sarcastic.
"Not on brooms!" Marlene chuckled as she aggressively plopped both feet into the water with an audible splash. "Mary told me about this new thing Muggles do called surfing. It doesn't sound...too awfully different from being on a broomstick, just fighting the water instead of the air. And as a Seeker, you're probably more likely to stand on your broomstick, arms-stretched than any other player. Just because you see that bloody Snitch faster than other Seekers doesn't mean you'd be more effective at catching them if you aren't comfortable riding."
Lily raised an eyebrow. "What's your plan, Marlene? To spend the whole summer down on the southern coast?"
"Too right!" Marlene grinned. "And I hope you're on board too, Lily! Who knows? Maybe we can even find a couple of cute, Muggle boys."
"Even though you're obviously into James Potter?" Lily asked.
Marlene froze, her face turned beet red at her friend's accurate assessment. "That...erm...really doesn't matter, Lils! He's only got eyes for you, remember?"
"He won't after last night." Lily said as her green eyes looked out to the soft waves of the lake in front of them. "My hand still aches a bit from belting him in the jaw. Besides. I'm not interested. Not now, not ever."
She turned towards Marlene with a wink. "You've got more in common with him than I do anyway. Go for it, Mar."
Marlene beamed uncontrollably before shaking her head. "Anyway! Quidditch comes first for me! So, Lily. Down to join Mary and I at the beach for the summer?"
"Not the whole summer." Lily shook her head. "Maybe I can convince Mum and Dad to let me go down for a couple of weeks, but I'd like to spend some time with my family. Sev, too."
"Oh, I meant to ask you about him…" Mary frowned, remembering Lily's other best friend. "Is he too injured for tomorrow's study session? I know it's been a...stressful couple of days for him, so it wouldn't surprise me if he forgot."
Lily slapped her forehead. "Merlin help me, I totally forgot about that!" she hissed, looking back towards the castle. "Sorry Mary. If he's still at the Hospital Wing when we get back, I'll be sure to remind him, but if he's already been released back down to the Dungeons…"
"Who in their right mind can stand living down there?" Marlene asked. "Us Gryffindors and the Ravenclaws both live high up with plenty of sunlight in our windows. The Hufflepuffs live in the basement, aye, but they're right next to the kitchens and sometimes I envy their ability to do night raids for snacks…"
"I bet you do." Mary giggled, never shy about taking note of her athletic friend's bottomless appetite. "But think about it like this. When it comes to the Slytherins, their windows look out into this very lake. How many of them might have gotten a little peek up the skirt of a girl? Maybe Severus is looking at you right now?"
"Mary!" Lily gently slapped her fellow Muggle-born girl on the shoulder. "Not funny!" she grimaced as her gaze lowered ever so slightly to the waters that their feet were dipped into.
Marlene burst into a fit of hearty laughter, rolling on the grass behind them. "You actually looked! Gods, Lily, she was just joking!"
By the time Lily awoke Sunday morning, it was already past noon, and both of her friends had already gone down for lunch in the Great Hall.
"Honestly...next time I worry myself into insomnia, I should just brew a quick sleeping draught." she thought with an audible groan as her green eyes peered out the window.
"I hope you're alright, Sev…" she whispered, realizing that he hadn't come to visit her and the others the previous afternoon, nor was he anywhere to be found during dinner. The only thing she knew for certain was that he had been released from the Hospital Wing by Madam Pomfrey as expected. She couldn't be mad at him if he forgot about their agreed tutoring session with Mary that afternoon, considering the circumstances of the past several days, it would be cruel to think that it wouldn't slip anyone's mind. Even the mind of Severus Snape.
"I guess I'll just have to be a better teacher than Horace is so Mary can learn the Draught of Peace by tomorrow." Lily thought as she gathered a clean set of clothes and went to the Girls' Bathroom to begin her daily routine.
"Heavens, it's always so creepy down here…" Mary whispered as she and Lily made their way towards the Potions classroom, the dark and damp corridors of the Dungeon lit only by a few torches ensconced along the walls.
"But it's nice and cool!" Lily spoke at a regular volume, unafraid of the path towards the classroom of one of her favorite subjects. "Late in the spring like this, it gets hot outside a lot of the time. I'm not always in the mood to get sunburned! I can't tan like you do."
"Nope. You aren't getting out of our little beach vacation that easily." Mary said with a smile, letting her nerves fade a bit once Lily reminded her of their summer plans.
As the girls rounded a final corner, happy to have avoided the Bloody Baron, Lily gasped as she looked into the open door of the Potions classroom. An unexpected figure in black robes was tending to Professor Slughorn's large, copper cauldron.
"Sev! You remembered!" she grinned, noticing that her Slytherin friend had already prepared the classroom with ingredients for all of the potions that might come up during their O.W.L.s.
"Naturally. And I see that you both showed up a few minutes early." Severus said with a curt nod.
Lily looked back and forth between the two best friends that she had, happy that Mary could have this opportunity to spend some time with Severus while he was in his element and not surrounded by students who gave her fellow Muggle-born witch a great deal of personal trauma. "I know you two might know each other, but I'm not sure I've ever gotten the chance to formally introduce you."
She gestured her hands to each of them with a happy smile. "Severus Snape, Mary Macdonald."
"A pleasure." Mary gave a polite smile and extended her hand. It was obvious to Lily that the chocolate-haired witch was a bit apprehensive about shaking hands with the boy, but she kept her courtesy.
Severus looked down at Mary's hand for a moment before responding to the gesture in kind. "It's good to meet you."
"Wow, Sev…" Lily thought in surprise as she watched the two shake hands. "Odd to see you breaking your touch barrier so easily."
"Let me start off by thanking you for coming!" Mary politely bowed her head. "I know you might have better things to do on a Sunday afternoon than agree to help me better myself at brewing, but I'll try to respect your time and do my best!"
Severus nodded his head, his black eyes briefly capturing Lily's gaze. The way he was looking at her...was unlike anything she had seen from him before. His gaze was as persistent as ever, but it was noticeably softer...and for the briefest of moments, it looked like his lips curled into a smile before he caught himself.
"I wonder what's on his mind?" Lily thought with curiosity as she returned the smile nonetheless. More perplexing than his expression was the manner in which he carried himself. Even in the Potions classroom where he was at his most comfortable, Severus' posture was never this good. He always acted like a boy that didn't want to be seen, but she watched in awe as he took the lead. The way that he strode so confidently towards the blackboard...it was reminiscent of Professor McGonagall.
This hadn't been what Lily expected at all. She thought she'd need to be the one to talk Mary through the brewing process while Severus demonstrated things in a visual manner, but it seemed like he was prepared to control every aspect of this tutoring session. It was unexpected behavior from her childhood friend...unexpected, yes...but not unwelcome. Lily couldn't help but be entranced as the confident young man's tattered black robes billowed behind him as he marched to the board.
"Alright. Let's begin." Severus said as he put chalk to the blackboard.
Author's Note: Sorry to leave you all at a cliffhanger with Sev looking into the Mirror of Erised during the last chapter! I figured it was time for a quick Lily PoV Chapter with just some casual Hogwarts fun, including Quidditch! Seems that Marlene is getting closer to convincing Lily to try out for the team! And if she wants to kidnap Lily for a summer at the beach, you know she's serious about wanting a new Seeker. The next chapter will be a switch back to Sev's PoV as he spends his Sunday considering Dumbledore's fateful offer. Waking up to that mirror isn't going to be any easier than it was going to sleep in front of it. 50 points to the house of the first person who guesses the little girl's name!
As always, please review if you enjoyed reading this chapter and want to share your thoughts! In an attempt to get more eyeballs onto this story, I've recently started crossposting it to AO3, but will be updating both websites concurrently once it is caught up. Whichever site you prefer to read it on is perfectly fine, I just want to leave the options open!