Disclaimer: So sorry for the delays in updates for all my stories. I have written a lot for all of them but I am just really lazy with editing. I hope you enjoy the updates. If you recognize things, I do not own them.
Disclaimer 2: This is just a chapter that will give a view on how the children are handling things, also giving a childs perspective on the war and fighting.
Too much was happening too fast. It seemed that there was not even time to breath. Between aurors, healers, death eaters and just figuring out whom they were as a family, it was hard to keep track of themselves. None of them really knew what to say in most situations and they were struggling on what it meant to just exist together.
Gabriel really wanted to get to know his brother a bit better. He had always wanted a brother, a family but he wasn't entirely sure what he could even talk about. Then he remembered his fathers interest in animals and how much Theodore had enjoyed that tour. Maybe he would like to go outside for a bit and it would be a way to get to know him.
Even with all his hesitation and nerves, he decided to be a Gryffindor and go forth. "Do..." Gabriel started before hesitating. Theodore just waited. He found it strange how hesitant the normally outgoing Gryffindor was. He wondered how much he actually understood about his brother's actions at Hogwarts. Had he always been this shy? "Do you maybe want to go outside for a bit, maybe go to where the Crups are or do you know if we are allowed."
"We usually are but we have to let dad or papa know we are outside," Theodore said just happy over the idea that Gabriel wanted to spend time together. "And stay within the protective boundaries when they aren't with us, so like with the winged horses and the crups but not in the openly wooded area. I'd love to go outside. Honestly, the house is getting stuffy."
Gabriel smiled slightly as they went downstairs. "Dad, papa, Sirius," Theodore said taking charge since he could see that Gabriel was still slightly overwhelmed with things. "Gabriel and I were wanting to go outside. Is that okay, we are going to visit the crups."
Emilio hesitated knowing he had to finish this before going out with them. Tiberius took his hand gently. Though they both wanted to shelter the children, the property was fairly safe. They had to let them spread out a bit even if it was hard or they would resent them later on. "Of course, it is okay," Tiberius said. "As long as you have your wands and call an elf if you need anything or want to send to us." Emilio nodded his agreement even if he wished not to.
The affirmative answer got dual grins as the two kids thanked him and ran outside to the pin keeping the dogs within a large section of the yard. Theodore was a normally quiet individual, so they remained in silence the majority of the walk around the yard, even as they were trailed by thirteen excitable pups.
Eventually, after trailing around the pin, they settled down and played with them. Gabriel petting each individual crup at one time or another. "You are really good with them," Theodore pointed out trying to start up a conversation. "I knew you liked care and were one of the only ones who could control the hippogriff and some of the more unique animals, but you look like you really enjoy it."
"I do," Gabriel admitted having not realized just how much he did. Sure, Hagrid introduced them to some strange animals, some he had not even known existed, but he enjoyed the companionship of them. "I think...well they are easier to understand then people. They act because of instinct or training. They don't act out of cruelty. I like that. If you know how to communicate with animals, they respond well to you. If you are nice to them, they are nice to you. Hedwig my owl is one of my best friends. She is super loyal, and I like that it doesn't change on her mood. She will still divebomb people whether she is annoyed at me or not if they are mean."
"I agree, that is what papa says, he says it is dads job to deal with people, they annoy him too much, he is happy with his animals," Theodore said. "Is that what you want to do when you graduate. Work with animals."
"I don't know," Gabriel admitted, the idea of making it to graduation was foreign to him. After the last few years, he had not really gotten the chance to think things through. There were always far more important things to worry about then what he would do as an adult. "I guess, I never really thought about careers. Everyone expected...well Harry Potter to be an Auror like his father. But...I just never gave it much thought."
His brother, being technically two people was doing Theodore's head in though he agreed that a lot of people would have had expectations on the boy hero. Honestly, that's the sort of career that he would have expected him to have. Now though, the idea of his brother in such a dangerous job was not one he approved of. "Well, if you had to think, auror, hitwizard, cursebreaker, runemaster, charms master, creature caretaker, what would you think or when you were really young, in the muggle world did you ever find anything that would strike your fancy," Theodore questioned just wanting to know more about him. "Like, when I was eight I wanted to be a potion maker. Of course, then I actually took potions and decided I hated the class and would be miserable with it.'
Gabriel tried to think, what had he ever wanted. He wanted to not be Harry Potter, not be as crazy as he sometimes thought himself as. He never really thought about what he wanted to do...he just wanted to be alive. Unknowingly in his thoughts, he had spoken one word out loud. "Alive."
Theodore was horrified. He knew...he knew the real Harry Potter was killed and Gabriel was taken in as his replacement, he knew he wasn't treated right but the exact details just weren't there yet. He'd not been to a proper healer, that appointment was in a few days but...to be 12 years old and want to be alive. Perhaps he heard wrong. He hoped he did. "What...what do you mean by that," Theodore questioned focusing his look on the crup knowing that if he paid too much attention to Gabriel, he'd freeze up.
"I..."
Theodore wasn't quite ready to let it go even if it made him uncomfortable. He needed to know more. "You said alive, that you wanted to be alive. Was...I know it was bad, from just what I know, but it was really to the extent you thought you'd die."
Gabriel shrugged having not meant to say that and now very much wishing he did not. "Sorry I..."
"I'm your brother, even if you haven't known me for long," Theodore said. "I just...I want to understand, I guess. I know papa and dad won't give me the full story. Just bits and pieces. That the real Harry Potter died, and you were stolen to replace him." Even just saying that turned his stomach. What did his brother live through? "Was it that bad?"
"I... yes," he admitted just needing to talk to someone, even if it was a near stranger. Sirius was usually there for him to talk with, but things were so busy he wasn't sure if he would have the chance. But how do you make your brother understand what sort of hell living as a different person was? Did he even want his brother to understand that? "Harry...harry didn't die," Gabriel said confusing him. "Harry was killed. I don't know exactly how. I was so young when everything happened, younger than even Harry would have been. I knew I was younger than him, that I wasn't five, that I wasn't supposed to be in school, that I was always behind everyone. I didn't talk as well as they did. Didn't know my letters as well, or my numbers. I was younger I guess I was three so some of my memories are a bit fuzzy. But I remember very clearly hearing that he killed him. They'd say different ways that he died...as sort of warning if I ever told. But yeah, growing up, my only thought about what I wanted to be when I grew up was, not Harry, alive and away from them. I didn't care how, I just wanted to be gone. Then, when I got to Hogwarts things seemed so much worse at times. Everything with vol...he-who must not be named and the mess the school is in. I knew I wasn't going to turn 17 without some sort of miracle."
"Merlin," Theodore said horrified having for just a moment forgotten just how hunted his brother was. He struggled to wrap his head around the fact that one of the most powerful wizards in the world, wanted his baby brother dead. "Because of the dark lord?"
"And they'd never have let me come of age," Gabriel admitted knowing that was the truth. They never wanted him to be able to legally perform magic. It scared them. "They made that very clear, cause if I was an adult, they had no control over me anymore and I could use magic as I wished, and they were too scared of what I'd do with that."
"Well, they'll never be able to reach you again," Theodore promised. "They'll likely get the kiss for what they did. And Uncle Josiah delt with the dark lord and he's going to leave you alone from now on."
"If that lasts," Gabriel said. While he was thankful that anyone was intent on protecting him, he did not truly believe that Voldemort would take the demands of a death eater well. From what he saw, he was beyond crazed and that truly made things unpredictable. He had no doubt, eventually he'd come after him and Gabriel knew he wouldn't survive it again.
"It will," Theodore said. It had to. He trusted his uncle and grandfather even though the world would say that they were evil. They'd ensure that the two of them were protected, no matter the cost. "I mean, no offence meant Gabriel, but you're not really...well important to him. He wanted to kill Potter because of the backfired curse, right?"
Gabriel nodded. "I guess. Yeah."
"But you're not him. You're a Knott. There's no reason for him to be after a normal, 12-year-old boy and hopefully, well everything will be done and over by the time he'd ever be interested in recruiting you." He had not meant to say that. A lot of Slytherins talked proudly about how they would be recruited. Theodore did not want to be a death eater and he'd be damned if his brother ever was either. "Not that dad and papa would ever let us especially before we were of age. As far as they know, we'd never be recruited and keep our heads out of everything. Let the adults deal with things. As it should be."
"You...do you really think I'll be left alone," Gabriel questioned. Put like that, he was almost able to believe that.
"From the dark side, yeah, Malfoy might get pissy about it but well, the dark lord needs the support of the dark families to even have a chance and killing or attacking a child of one of these families, is a big no. Any of our allied families would leave the cause if not outright fight against him because of it. No. He's better off from a political standpoint to a war strategy standpoint to not piss us off which means not ever raising a wand against you again."
Gabriel couldn't help but grin, "I really like the sound of that. I really didn't want to have to fight...I mean...Everyone's always said I should, and I don't want my friends to get hurt but I don't even know what I'm fighting for. I don't even know what the war is about, and it makes it difficult to pick a side. And, as Harry. Wellbeing on that side makes sense but I'm not Harry and I just…do you know what the fighting's about?"
"A lot of things. I think, honestly sometimes I think people are just fighting to fight," Theodore admitted. "I mean, I believe at some point, there was a point for the fight, two very strong separate Ideologies...viewpoints which was the start of the conflict, a lack of ability to change without fighting and a need to push laws. Which of course, added violent struggles and the struggles just got more and more violent until people were just killing others. Now everyone just hates everyone else and doesn't know what to do except fight."
Gabriel couldn't help but be startled by the explanation. That made a lot more sense then, Death eaters were evil monsters who just wanted to hurt people and cause suffering. "Actually, that's the best explanation I've ever gotten on the war. I mean, I don't even know who wants what. I mean...Supposedly Voldemort wants to kill all muggles and muggleborns and pureblood superiority and Dumbledore's sides the opposite but there has got to be an actual point I think...I mean it just doesn't make sense that he just started out killing people since that doesn't seem very cunning and as far as I knew, he was the epitome of Slytherin."
"Actually, I'm not sure of details but it had nothing to do with killing anyone. The...well death eater dark sided wanted a focus on traditions that have been in the wizarding world for centuries. The traditions that were pushed aside for muggle beliefs, and the further separation of the two worlds, either wizard or muggle not this constant in between and more protection to children was always a part...usually it came out as muggles were more likely to abuse or kill magical children and most obscures' which is a problem that happens to abused kids, is caused by muggles. That hate sort of was strong and well, things were said. Views changed. Some like Malfoys wanted to hate on muggleborns and half-bloods thinking they were superior, others were in it wanting the change of laws for dark creatures and protection against muggles, and things just got...messy, extremely messy. I mean, neither side was innocent in it. People like the dark lord killed people, like they tried to kill Harry Potter. The Potters I can understand, they were fighters but a baby...just seemed cruel. But the light side committed atrocities against people, like werewolf packs which added into the fights and well honestly, I think everyone lost the point and went a little crazy. I'm hoping, this one is focused more on the problems since everyone had time to grow up and stop acting like children throwing tantrums."
Gabriel burst into peals of laughter unable to help himself. "I think you are awesome and just described everything perfectly," He realized. "A bunch of grownups acting like children throwing temper tantrums."
Theodore shrugged but did smile slightly happy to see his brother relax and laugh. He had not meant to have the war brought up but he was happy to see his explanation of things had caused Harry to relax a great deal. He had perhaps, spent too long for a child thinking on war and fighting but it was hard not to when it always felt so close to home. "I know it is my business because it involves everyone when it gets going. A lot of bad things happened, like kidnappings and killings but...I think both sides maybe have good points and should try working it out legally and not...well fighting which innocent people get caught in and killed. I just would rather not deal with everything. Go to school and learn without the politics and the shrieks of you are a death eater's son or being viewed as evil. Especially when, dad and papa aren't even death eaters and dark doesn't mean evil. And expected to hate the lighter side of things."
"I think your right," Gabriel said. "But hopefully I can stay out of things and don't have to pick a side. I mean...Uncle Josiah, I don't really know him, but he really doesn't scream evil monster that I was sort of taught about. I mean, he probably did bad things but...he's...so...he's so normal. He could be anyone really." That was not the mean death eaters he had been told about, nor was he anything like the snobby cold Lucius Malfoy. A decade younger and he would fit in so well with the Gryffindors, it was difficult to see him as a monster death eater.
"I think that's the problem, everyone is like everyone else, we just can't all agree on it. It is why I think papa sticks to animals. Since they don't usually care if your parents were muggles or magic or what side of light and dark you fall on or your political views. You treat them properly and they will like you."
"What do you plan on doing when you graduate," Gabriel asked hoping to push it to a nicer conversation though he found he quite liked his brother's comments.
"I'm conflicted," he admitted. "I am really interested in warding, I mean its brilliant and I love runes and its fascinating but I do happen to like working with papa with the animals and I also enjoy politics a bit more like dad. I think I want to be too many things and cannot narrow anything down."
Gabriel could see his brother in most of those careers. Bill had mentioned his interest when the cursebreakers were here fixing the wards, he did seem to love the animals and was not afraid of getting dirty like snobby Draco Malfoy, but while quiet, when he spoke you wanted to listen and believed what he had to say. Something Gabriel knew would be important with politics. "I wish I had some idea," Gabriel admitted.
"Your only twelve though, lots of time."
Even though he knew theoretically how old he was, it was hard to rap his head around the fact that suddenly, he really was so much younger than what he thought. "Yeah, but I'm about to enter fifth year," Gabriel said. "And I have no idea."
"But you still have time even after that to figure things out, considering I don't think dad or papas going to let you go off before you are of age either way. You can focus on everything and learn as much as you want."
"Are you sure you weren't a Ravenclaw," Gabriel offered hearing the excitement in his brother's voice over the idea of learning new things.
"I love learning," Theodore said easily. "But there is life outside books too. And I suppose at eleven my interests weren't really in books at the time."
After that they kept their topics to lighter ones then war and who Gabriel was before, but the solo outing did bring them a bit closer and help each of them understand the other a bit more. Gabriel thought it was a success and when Emilio, having finished his work came outside, his thoughts echoed his youngest sons.
He thought that it was a brilliant idea to have let them go off and was glad that his husband had given them permission, even though he had been hesitant. Both boys seemed so happy and at peace, just playing games with the crups and running about, as children should. Seeing them happy, made him happy. He chose to just watch instead of interrupting. This was the way they should have grown up. It was both heartwarming and devastating to the man, reminding him just how much they had missed out on, growing up as brothers. If they could be this happy and close, after truly just getting to know each other, how would they have been if they had grown up together?
"You are thinking too hard my love." Emilio jumped, hearing his husbands voice, having not even noticed he had followed him up.
"I'm sorry what?"
"Stop thinking so much Emilio. Enjoy the moment. What if's will drive you crazy. Just watch them. Enjoy seeing them happy. Don't drive yourself crazier. He is home. For the moment, he is happy. We have a lot of years to ensure that is not something of a rarity. Enjoy having him home. Don't over think things or else we will lose out on even more time than we already have."
"I don't know how not to think on things," Emilio admitted.
"Then we will learn how, together," he returned.