I unfortunately don't own Bleach. I really worked hard on this one.

The place where Rukia and Renji grew up was said to be really bad so I want to reflect that in this story. I want to bring a spot light on the poverty and struggle Rukia went through with this fic so let me know how I did with that or if you have any ideas.

Part 1

Byakuya and Rukia had become closer since he saved her from Gin. He didn't fully understand why he saved her since he had his mind set on letting her die a short time before. He did it without thinking and on pure instinct. A strange and unknown instinct that her very presence released from the cold prison of his heart.

When it came down to it the first time, when Ichigo stepped in the last second to save her, a feeling he was trying desperately to suppress surfaced. He was relieved, truly relieved and rather shocked that this boy who by all means should have been dead, saved her. He forced the feeling back down as far as he could and continued to follow the imposed rules of his heavily burdensome station .

He hated following rules. Their importance had been pounded into him his whole life. All because of the family he was born to. He had to be more dignified, more controlled, more alone. He once had an impulsive fire. The flame had never gone out but it had been suffocated and repressed for the sake of the family's precious dignity.

The old codes of behavior don't make allowances for shows of emotion in public. It is even considered shameful to be seen embracing, or kissing ones wife. The old codes of behavior may have died out with the other families but not with the Kuchiki clan. He wasn't like the other pleasure seekers who shamelessly headed the other houses and squandered their fortunes on decadent behavior and pointless indulgences. Because he played his roll so well, when he married a woman of low birth, they allowed it to happen. Not to say there wasn't any protest, but when it came down to the final decision, they let him have his way.

When she died they did not push the issue of remarriage. They trusted that some day he would remarry. Promises were made, and one day he would provide an heir. The Kuchiki family had a history of allowing it's children to marry by choice instead of for convience. Usually the person was from one of the four noble families or the lesser royal families thanks to the normal segregation of royals and non royals. It usually ensured a proper marriage. Occasionally someone would come from a lesser background. Each time it was allowed, usually in instances where the generation available for marriage were too close in blood for anyone's comfort and for royals that blood was always close.

When he saved Rukia he didn't understand the desperation he felt. He needed to save her and instinct kicked in. He had told her a lie. It wasn't all a lie. He did promise his late wife he would keep Rukia safe. But he had only told Rukia that because he couldn't tell her he cared. He couldn't tell her the feelings that he had been suppressing for years.

The biggest thing he didn't expect was Rukia' reaction when he saved her. After almost letting her die, stopping her friends from saving her, not providing even the least show of concern for her pending death, and years of his icy and demanding behavior, she was still right as his side. Her closest friends who came to help her, were laying half dead on the ground and instead of being with one of them, she was at his side, holding his hand. She had stated that she was not worthy of his being harmed for her. After all he had done! Rukia had made him feel ashamed of his actions and misplaced loyalties.

So he had told her he saved her only because of a promise. Revealing the love for her that was growing in his heart was impossible. She had shown him unconditional love and loyalty. Not feeling deserving of the friendship he had for so long shunned, he cursed himself and promised himself to give her the friendship and family she had sought. Maybe someday she would forgive him. He didn't expect her to ever share the growing desire he was feeling for her. But that had to be ok. It was more important to make-up for betraying the only family member who had ever showed him such pure love and devotion.

Byakuya never apologized. It wasn't his way. The head of the Kuchiki clan never says the words I'm sorry. It just wasn't done. So he was going to make up for it in other ways. Rukia would readily except any attention she received from him. Family was all she ever really wanted and he would give her anything she wanted.

But then she was gone again. She was always gone doing heaven knows what in the living world. Her friends were strong and she was capable but that didn't stop him from worrying about her. It wasn't just her safety he worried about, it was the boy she was with. He worried her feelings for him were more then friendship. She had given that boy her powers, a part of herself. He had risked his life to save her and he resembled someone from Rukia' past that she may have once loved. How could she not have developed some feelings for him.

He didn't really know how she felt about Kaien but he knew they were close, too close. It made Byakuya want to hold onto her tighter and keep her locked away. There was no way he could compete with that closeness and that kind of intimacy. Ichigo was always there for her and when she wasn't with Renji she was with him. She was always with someone else. She was always so stiff around Byakuya and he wasn't any different. He could only blame himself for her behavior. How could she feel comfortable around someone who showed no emotion. Yet for some reason she still cared for him. It wasn't all hopeless.

He would demand she spend time with him, in the gentlest way possible. At first he insisted that she make the time to take breakfast and dinner with him. Going so far as having servants and division members fetch her from whatever she was doing. During their meals he would engage her in conversation. In the beginning it had been very awkward considering all that had occurred between them. He realized after all these years living with her he didn't know much about her. Surely she thought him insane when he started a conversation about Chappy. He hated Chappy but it got her talking to him more comfortably.

If there was a subject she was passionate about it was Chappy. With the wall of ice between them slowly melting, their conversations had become more diverse. Which was good because he had no intention of becoming a an expert on Chappy. But the conversations still danced around personal issues. It was one thing they had in common. They both internalized all their feelings and never shared them with anyone.

Then the whole Hueco Mundo incident happened. It was a long and uncertain war. He didn't stop her from going after Ichigo which was why he wasn't far behind her with reinforcements. He had even gone as far as persuading Kenpatchi to join him. Kenpatchi was easily lured by the prospect of a good fight. Not taking any chances he had made sure the General Commander sent Captain Unohana with them too.

He had almost lost her again. His heart sank at finding her near death and he fought with no regard for his own well being. The only thing he wanted was to end the fight as fast as possible and get her health stabilized. Byakuya sized up his opponent and used his release to finish the fight. After more battles and a very long night, at least he thought it was night one could never tell in Hueco Mundo, he had her safely back home.

Now he was much more determined to make time for her. The thought of loosing her had become unbearable and the prospect of her sharing his love didn't seem quite so far out of reach anymore. Anytime he requested, she was happily at his side and it didn't matter if the only thing they did was sit there and stare into the sky. When he had her beside him, the rest of the world disappeared.

It was late one night and he had asked her to join him outside in the garden. It was a lovely and clear, spring night. They quietly enjoyed each others company on this calm evening. They stopped walking and stood on a bridge linking one side of the koi pond to the other. The weeping cherry blossom trees let their pink tears flow and the wind blew the petals lazily to and fro against the night sky.

They stood there and admired the bright full moon. The heat from her hand brushing his made him nearly confess to her then and there. He turned to her and looked deeply into her violet eyes which shined like stars in the moonlight. Neither of them spoke the moment their eyes met. Neither wanted to break the silence or look away. Byakuya had almost lost his reserve but he pulled back when the gap between them started to close. His eyes growing cold and distant again. Making Rukia feel self conscious, she excused herself to bed.

Oh he was kicking himself that night both for not kissing her and for letting it get that far in the first place. What did he really know about this girl. They still hadn't shared any inward feelings, needs, or desires. It was wrong in all aspects to want that with her. She was his sister there was no way she would reciprocate those feelings. But her eyes had met his and there was such a look there. It made him feel like he was the only one in the world she was seeing. He wondered if it was just his desire, his hopes playing tricks on him, but it was there. No, he was sure it was there.