JJ had seen Emily struggling. In a twisted way, it was nice to see that Emily wasn't as collected as JJ had once believed. Emily could be affected by cases just like the rest of them. But it was mostly disconcerting. Because she didn't like to see Emily struggling. And she was today.
As soon as they had boarded the plane, Emily had chosen a seat purposefully away from the others. She sat by the window and stared out. It was too bright in the jet to be able to see into the dark night sky outside her window. JJ knew Emily wasn't really looking at anything. More likely, she was hiding her face from the others.
JJ took a seat across from her, getting her attention. JJ watched her attempt to smile, but it was fleeting. Emily didn't say anything, just turned her attention back into the darkness. JJ took a moment to study her. Maybe she should let it be. Maybe she should leave her alone. But she couldn't. It was like she was drawn to her. Emily Prentiss had a magnetic way about her. JJ had come to rely on her steadiness - her poise. But that usual steadiness was wavering and JJ felt off-balanced.
"You okay?"
She watched as Emily's eyes zoned back in to focus on her, "Yeah."
JJ nodded her head - not convinced. There was still conflict in Emily's eyes. "They're good people… Carrie's family," she said, trying to be reassuring.
Emily briefly looked up at the ceiling. "Good," she replied, "I'm glad."
Then, throwing caution to the wind, JJ continued, "I think it's a good idea though."
"What's that?"
"You -" JJ paused briefly. She didn't know why. Emily looked confused. "Kids." Emily shrugged it off but JJ could see she had struck a nerve. She suddenly felt nervous under Emily's intense gaze. JJ had her full attention, and it was consuming. As if her eyes were pleading with her. Hoping JJ was right about her. JJ felt a flutter in her chest, "I can see it…"
Emily shrugged again avoiding eye contact. But in a small voice, "Yeah?" She sounded unsure of herself. Vulnerable.
JJ brought a finger to her lips absent-mindedly, nodding. They didn't say anything else to each other for the rest of the flight.
Emily had separated herself on purpose. Even from JJ. She just wanted to be alone. But still, she didn't have it in her to be upset when JJ cautiously sat down across from her. Normally, she'd love to have any sort of interaction with her, but today was different.
Then she told her she'd be a good mother. Not in those words, per say, but that's what she meant. JJ could see her being a mother. Based on her parental role models, Emily had never thought she'd have kids. Kids deserve better than her. Kids deserve someone warm. Someone loving, and kind, and gentle. Kids deserve JJ. Not Emily. But it meant something that JJ believed in her anyway. She wanted nothing more than to be the person that JJ thought she was. But she was doubtful.
Besides, JJ was probably just being a friend. A good friend. That's all. She saw Emily was hurting and wanted to make her feel better. She would've done the same for any of the members on the team. Right?
"Yeah?" Emily asked, insecurity laced in her voice. JJ just nodded, biting the tip of her finger subconsciously. Emily had to wrench her eyes away. She felt the goosebumps forming on her skin. She stared back out the window into the darkness.