CHAPTER FOUR
3x09 Penelope
They were all scared. Penelope was everyone's friend and everyone's cheerleader. Emily couldn't be around her and not smile. So, sitting in the stuffy hospital waiting room knowing there was a good chance Garcia was dying just down the hall was not exactly what she would call a good time. But she willed herself to keep her composure. If not for her own sake, for her team's. Derek was pacing down back and forth, Reid's leg was bouncing so hard he almost spilled his coffee, Hotch and Rossi were in a deep discussion about something but JJ… JJ was breaking. She was falling apart - and Emily knew nothing would be enough to put her back together - not if Penelope didn't pull through.
JJ was the glue. She held the team together. But right now she needed someone to hold her together. Emily hesitated. She didn't want to invade her space. Perhaps JJ wasn't looking for comfort. Perhaps she just wanted to be left alone. But even Emily didn't have that much self-control. She walked gently over and sat in the chair next to JJ, leaning back. It was as if JJ didn't even notice anyone had approached her. She was staring off into space, leaning forward, resting her face in her right hand. Emily studied her profile. Her brow was furrowed in worry, her mouth forming a hard line.
Taking a tentative breath, Emily leaned forward to look at her more intently. Before Emily knew what she was doing, her hand was reaching for JJ's free one. There was a split second after Emily had grabbed her wrist that she was unsure if JJ was going to take her hand, but she did. And suddenly all Emily could focus on was how her hand felt in hers. Good. It felt safe. Emily ignored the obvious implications. She had to. JJ was practically the best friend she had these days. She couldn't lose that. If she did it would be Emily who would break.
Morgan had tried to talk to her. He was probably as close to Penelope as she was. But it didn't really help. Reid brought her a cup of coffee. It had gone untouched. Even Hotch reached out to put a gentle hand on her shoulder which was the most purposeful display of comfort Aaron Hotchner ever offered. But nothing was helping. She just wanted this moment to be over. She wanted to know one way or the other. This limbo was torturous. Her mind was moving too fast to focus on anything for long, yet time had seemed to halt to a standstill. In her peripheral she registered that Emily was making her way over to her. She made no attempt to move. Not because she didn't want her company, but because she was afraid to look at her. JJ felt Emily sit gently beside her. The familiar feeling of Emily's fiery gaze burned into her. She didn't even need to look - she could feel the intensity of her dark eyes. Like a sixth sense. She had watched Emily break many unsubs with that relentless stare - and she knew that she stood no chance against it. Especially today.
When JJ felt her hand on her wrist she welcomed her touch, grabbing Emily's hand tightly. For whatever reason, Emily was the only person who had the ability to calm her down today and she was going to hold on to that feeling. JJ wondered briefly what would happen if Penelope didn't pull through. Would she be able to survive that? Maybe. Maybe with help.