CHAPTER SIX

3x18 The Crossing

Ever since that fateful evening when JJ kissed Will in front of her nothing had been right. At first she had convinced herself that it was all in her head - but Emily knew better. She knew JJ better. She was avoiding her. Not everyone - not Reid or Morgan or Garcia - but she'd been ignoring Emily. And for the life of her, Emily could not figure out why. Once she had even resorted to asking about Will which only earned her a half-assed excuse about being late for a meeting. Since then, Emily decided to just keep her distance. Whatever this was, it would blow over - or maybe it wouldn't - but it was out of Emily's control.

That was until Emily walked into JJ's office late one evening to find her leaning back in her chair, eyes closed, fingers rubbing the arch of her nose in exhaustion.

"Hey, everyone's waiting," Emily said as casually as she could. JJ's head snapped up in surprise and she quickly collected herself. As if Emily would mind seeing her tired. JJ worked just as hard if not harder than any of them.

"You should go," she answered politely. This was the first time in days JJ had spoken to her alone. But it wasn't the JJ she knew. Emily nodded skeptically. Did she not want to go just because Emily would be there? It hurt a little to consider.

"Keri's gonna be okay," Emily tried, hoping that this was just about a case and not her.

JJ smiled softly, almost cynically, "I know." It came off a little cold. She evidently had no interest in continuing this conversation. Emily nodded again. She should leave - but it had been weeks of this and she was feeling braver than usual.

"Okay, then what is it? 'Cause you've been a little off." It was just vague enough to not give anything away.

JJ smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes, "Really, I'm just - I'm tired."

"Okay." Emily broke eye contact, opting to stare at the floor instead. When she wanted to, JJ's politeness could cut you deeper than a knife. "Well, go home. Get some sleep."

JJ was exhausted. Actually she was somewhere quiet beyond exhausted - she just didn't know the word for it. It had been weeks since she broke it off with Will and she still was so confused about what had happened. He had told her that Emily was the one. But it seemed unlikely that he would be right about that when she couldn't even be sure. At first, JJ thought nothing had to change. She and Emily would simply go back to being really good friends and that would be that. But ever since Will's assertion, JJ couldn't look at her the same way. It was distracting - and way too obvious. JJ would catch herself staring at her like she was studying her. Her brow furrowed, deep in concentration. What was it…?

Thus, she opted for avoidance. It wasn't her proudest moment, but it was easier than the alternative. If she couldn't be friends with Emily, she would be a colleague.

She drifted into her office out of nowhere, surprising JJ. She felt flustered - as if Emily could read her thoughts. JJ straightened up in her chair and smiled politely.

"Hey, everyone's waiting," she gestured behind her.

JJ was far too exhausted for this. It had been weeks of overthinking and avoiding Emily and it was definitely taking its toll. "You should go."

Emily hesitated. Could she see right through her? Emily was a profiler after all…

"Keri's gonna be okay," she offered. JJ had a hard time containing a cynical smile. She almost wished that this was only about a case. The irony of Emily trying to make her feel better about this was not lost on her.

"I know," she responded in her best professional tone.

"Okay, then what is it? 'Cause you've been a little off."

JJ could have laughed. No kidding. She hadn't told a soul that she'd broken it off with Will and it was eating away at her. But Emily was about the last person she could explain it to.

"Really, I'm just - I'm tired."

Emily looked down at the floor and JJ felt horrible. This was her problem, not Emily's.

"Okay. Well, go home. Get some sleep."