The Iced Moon Arc Bleach

by timarc

Lieutenant Kuchiki has a secret. A variety of secrets that the Gotei 13 do not know until a figure of her past and present tips them off and then a story is told, a past. A past connected to the very creation of the Soul Society from the Soul King to zanpakutos. Shinigami are not the utmost rulers after all.

28. Hell is Here: Skeptics & Hypocrites I

Pre-Note

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. I do own this plot.

Reminder: Mature-rating. Mystery-themed. Light sexual content. Crucial to remain attentive to detail. This is for Rukia and her relationships.

---

Hell is Here: Skeptics & Hypocrites Part I

Past

After she had enrolled into that orphanage, the weird instances had eventually ceased. Though, the sovereign still trailed behind her like a shadow, observing her from afar and having Rukia reciprocate her stare like it was hypnotic.

A thought Ichigo penned down mentally to remember.

Ichigo also noticed how she often stayed mute afterwards. While staying at the orphanage, she separated herself from the other kids and used all sorts of things to draw and stay occupied.

She'd participate in chores and quietly slip away to read whatever books the Rukongai had. Seeing her now made the earlier events seem illusory. This Rukia was a lot more temperate. Nothing within her could remotely link her to any of the action they had seen her endure and battle against.

Those parts remained locked within.

But even with the calmness, that didn't mean everything was entirely perfect. She still starved, she lacked everything. Her kimono was outgrowing her and the orphanage could provide her nothing to wear. Her meals were very little, sometimes only a quarter of bread which Rukia would still share with the younger kids.

She'd starve for days.

In a way, she became the bread maker. With the little ones, she often went out and brought something for them. They looked forward to her little meals a lot. They were appreciative of her and often wondered why she didn't talk.

When she spoke they were all so attentive like obedient kids and when the Head Mistress spoke they were quite the opposite.

Innocence flared in her eyes as she cared for them. She became ensorcelled with their likeliness for her. Since being here, they had been the first bunch she had any positive interaction with.

It was obvious she treasured it. Especially after the bad string of interactions she had endured earlier on. As of now, her life was relatively peaceful.

Almost seven years would pass before the chaos would resume itself again.

---

Present

"This isn't good." Nanao said, holding onto her bandaged arm as she looked down at Kisuke on the stretcher. "Urahara is down, Lieutenant Kuchiki is gone, Dr Oswald is still missing, Yoruichi-san is nowhere to be found and we're left without most of our defenses."

"It would be best to move forward regardless." Senbonzakura argued. "We must restore my master and the others into their original form as soon as possible. Our situation only makes it more necessary."

"Senbonzakura-dono is right. It's long overdue. Waiting here for them to heal or return would waste a lot of time much like the last time. If Rukia-sama was here, she would agree. We should get going."

"B-But what about Rukia-san's brother, Dr. Oswald?" Hanatarō asked.

Yūshirō agreed. "We shouldn't depend on Okasake Jūshirmai not being able to hurt him for the sake of Rukia-san. We need to find him! What if he's hurt?"

"We cannot afford to dispatch anyone else for that matter now." Senbonzakura said. "We have minimal defenses. In fact it would be appropriate to say we have none."

Kla entered, her voice and eyes tired from crying. "Maybe if we brought Raiden back we'd be able to split up. We can't afford to lose Jūshirmai. I don't care what you weird, samurai-looking Kuchiki sword says. Jūshirmai is important. Not just to me but to Sister Rukia and if you cared an ounce about her feelings you'd have someone go look!"

"Kla does speak the truth, Senbonzakura-dono. Despite knowing the relationship my master shares with Okasake Jūshirmai, it would be best if we didn't take that as confirmation of his safety. He could very well be in danger as we know it." Sode No Shirayuki said.

"Contacting Raiden will be difficult considering the fact that he's at the Capital now where there have been several reports of fatal disruptions." Tessai informed them.

"Like what?" Ririn asked.

"The details are unknown to me too, however, considering he hasn't come back yet means that he is preoccupied with his role as Secretary of State as of now." Tessai said. "It's best we leave him."

"My grandfather left and has not returned since, meaning that perhaps they are in the midst of a critical matter." Byakuya said behind Senbonzakura. "We cannot afford to contact them when the solution to our main problem is in our hands now."

Rukia appeared beside him. "I will not leave Jūshirmai."

Byakuya turned to her. "You cannot leave here either."

"Why not? He's my brother and he's in trouble. How do we know he's safe? With the older me gone, I should be the one looking for him in the meanwhile. It would be perfectly fine for you all to go ahead." She argued.

"I will not risk it. It is not safe." Byakuya said.

"I'll be fine." She assured him. "It's better that I start looking for him now then regret it later. We have Senbonzakura, Zabimaru and my zanpakutō for our defenses, Hanatarō is a part of the 4th Division so he'll be able to heal any of you if anything bad happens, Ririn, Kurodō, Yūshirō, Jinta, and Ururu are all here to help with everything you need, even Tessai-san will stay and Roger, Lieutenant Ise will also keep things in check 'round here so nothing goes astray. If you need sheatsu, you still have the Captain's on you, Roger and Zabimaru for it. And if you need the pure light I'll—"

"That is the only thing you have." Byakuya cut her off. "It is not safe, regardless of whether your presence here isn't necessarily needed, that does not mean you can leave. The older you is still yet to reveal herself to the assassin regime. If you are caught, it will complicate the matter further."

"I won't get caught." Rukia said defiantly.

"The Okasake heir could easily reveal you if he could or at least, put you in the position to be caught if he wanted. It is a risk."

"It's one I'm willing to take." Rukia stepped closer. "He's my brother. The most I could do is at least try to find him, even if it means putting myself at risk of being caught. Besides, if the older me is with Jūshirmai right now, I doubt I'd be put in a position like that. I won't get caught by the assassins or the shinigami."

"That is another thing," Byakuya would not let her go. "The spirit form of the Gotei 13 are trapped in a world where they can see you but we cannot see them. If you search within the Seireitei, they will see you and what do you suppose will happen when they do? Though they will be unable to harm you, they would have seen the uniform those assassins wear—you'd directly be associated with the assassins and the older you would lose all her chances of being able to explain."

"I don't care if they think I'm an assassin. It's not entirely an insult and I most definitely don't care what the rest of the shinigami or Gotei 13 think of me as of now. This is my brother we're talking about here, I would rather take the risk." Rukia argued. "I doubt I'll even stay at the Seireitei for long. Wherever he is, I doubt it's in shinigami territory anyways."

"That still poses a concern because you will easily be detected by the assassins."

"I lived amongst assassins, I can be one." She assured him in a low tone of her ability.

It seemed that for a moment she had him convinced though he grew more resistant to her confidence.

"No." He simply said. "You do not even have grandfather's sheatsu, it's dangerous."

"I wouldn't need that. I'll be fine t—"

"Do not be foolish. The pure light will only draw more attention if you continue to utilize it for your protection."

Rukia stepped back in disbelief, "I have never—"

"It is a waste to depend on it to search for something that has nothing to do with the Soul King heart." Byakuya finished.

The younger Rukia only grew more bitter at his words.

"Who are you to tell me what to do with the pure light? I don't even rely on it as much as you think. If you're referring back to when the cleaner came back then, the only reason I pulled the pure light was to let you know that I was okay. Releasing reiatsu would've obviously been a death sentence." Rukia explained. "I don't use the pure light. I just always have it there."

"That does not matter. You're not going. If what you say is true, that means you have minimal defenses. That will not be enough to let you meander through the human world or the Soul Society for this time being. Anyhow you're caught, we'll be at more of a disadvantage and the older you will face more difficulties in explaining her absence. Grandfather would also have to explain why he chose to mess with time and bring you back from the past."

"All of that would only happen if I get caught, which I'm 99% sure won't happen." Rukia said. "I know myself, I won't get caught. I'll probably check the human world the most and exit out."

"There are still assassins there which still puts you at risk. The risks are too abundant to ignore. You are irrationally putting too much at stake for the sake of something trivial."

Rukia could not hide her offense from the heartless words from the Kuchiki heir. Of course she knew how they all were but it was more offending to see him try to wage this on a scale of risk versus benefits when none of this should ever apply when it came to a loved one.

Had he never loved?

He had too nice of a family to even have such thoughts when it came to a family member who was in danger.

"What would you do?" Rukia stepped closer again. "Huh? What would you do if your only brother just disappeared underwater and never came back? He's my only sibling...my only family, how can I just leave his life up to chance and not even try?"

There was a moment of silence which passed though Rukia didn't move from her spot—staring up into his eyes which were no longer readable, having turned into stone.

"She should go." A voice said behind Nanao. They all glanced to the spot behind her to see the figure of Yoruichi or at least, what was left of it—she was barely recognizable.

Rukia swallowed at the sight of her.

"We need info about the Seireitei, Capital and the World of the Living's state as we go. Go, you'll still be able to look for Dr Oswald either way." She said in a low, grave tone.

Everyone was quiet at her order… Even Byakuya.

Rukia took that as confirmation and acceptance of her absence moving forward. She needed to find Jūshirmai but this also served as an opportunity to finally set her eyes on what the world she knew had become and the faces she knew from her time had become as well.

Still, the slightest movement which had her turn to face Yoruichi from a distance already triggered the disapproval emanating from Byakuya's presence, even though he was no longer verbally demonstrating how against he was her leaving.

Her hand slowly shoved into her pocket as her eyes remained locked with whatever was left of Yoruichi's eyes. She pulled out the familiar sai blade that was all black with a thin gold thread outlining the handle.

"I'll leave you all with the pure light in the meanwhile. Use it however you want." Rukia said. Byakuya's disapproval grew more evident as she brought up his right hand and had the sai blade placed.

She made eye contact again with his stone stare. "This is yours—keep it and use it whenever. I'm sure you'll know when it's time to use it though I doubt you'll have any reason too before I get back."

His fingers didn't curl to hold it like she had wanted it too though nonetheless, she knew it was just an act of defiance for not listening to him.

Her gaze met Yoruichi and Nanao then.

"Find out whatever you can about the Soul Society's state." Nanao said. "It would be best to know what is taking that quincy so long."

"Do not meet grandfather." Byakuya warned in a low tone. Rukia only glanced at him once before looking back.

"Avoid the Rukongai if possible." Tessai advised. "Though I'm sure you'll know where and what to avoid so I won't offend you with unnecessary instructions."

"Rukia-sama," Roger began. "If possible, do find out what you can about the Capital's current state from a distance and within if it is possible. If you're tempted to go near the noble houses—"

"I don't think I'll go that far." Rukia interrupted him. "There probably isn't much to see there anyway. Sensei is most definitely back at the Capital. There's nothing to see there."

"Very well, just take your time. If you should encounter any ally of Okasake Jūshirmai," he bent his head, "you know what to do."

"Right." Rukia assured with a nod.

Yoruichi spoke hoarsely. "If you encounter any of his allies, any information you can get from them is crucial, don't hesitate."

"Sure." Rukia said. "I'll take some time then to come back to give you the most I know."

Rukia paid Byakuya one last glance though he had his eyes closed. With that, she flash-stepped away, leaving the remainder of the group to follow the silver line.

---

Past

There was a young girl with chubby cheeks and pigtails who adored Rukia. In return for her chirpy fondness, Rukia taught her and all the younger ones the things they could do in order to survive.

She became an older figure to them. In seven years, growth was slow in the Soul Society though there was an evident shift in Rukia's if you squinted enough.

Her kimono was tearing against her will. While teaching the younger ones sewing, she tried to sew a few patches to keep it together.

After going over poisonous plants, tips on stealing, starting a fire, and traps, she eventually taught them some recipes she had learnt through books.

In a way, Rukia had offered them more knowledge than any of the 'teachers' within the orphanage could've. Kids like these needed to know how to survive, textbooks could only help if they had a chance out there, which most didn't.

It was obvious they treasured that over the textbook experience. Whenever she spoke, they were quiet and focused. He couldn't imagine any of them wanting to stay longer in that tiny orphanage.

It just seemed to be a concentrated area of filth. It was poorly run. Diseases crawled everywhere, they were understaffed and the food consisted of the same soup with the same gurgled up cough colour.

In the end, they were better off hunting for other things than depending on that for nutrition all their lives. There was a different type of anger which kindled in relation to the Soul Society's handling of all of this.

This wasn't fair. At all. This was beyond anything he had seen. Was this truly the place all those people he sent off with konso went too? This horrible place? 'Hell with nice gift wrapping paper' as that elder lady had put it?

He didn't know how much more he could see of suffering while everyone just wordlessly watched. The Head Captain was seeing this with his own eyes and didn't show a single sign of remorse.

His head turned left and saw a boy he felt was familiar. The closer he came, Ichigo could see a grumpy scowl on his face connecting him to the boy they had seen behind Rukia on the day Kuchiki Koga came to kill her.

He was definitely not a part of her group of friends. The three other boys beside Renji had looked nothing like this.

And yet, it seemed like they'd be seeing him a lot.

###

"Hey, mute one. Goro needs your help."

Rukia was crouched down on the ground with her little admirer, a tiny girl with chubby cheeks, doe eyes, and pigtails in front of her when he called.

She glanced up at him once and turned back. "For?"

He sneered, "just get up n'do it, alright? Goro won't ask so I'm askin' for him."

The tiny girl named Mira pouted with her lips before chiding him. "Hey! Don't speak to her like that, Choda!"

"Sorry." He sarcastically apologized with a disgruntled look. "Now are you gonna get up or what?"

That question was directed to Rukia who continued counting stones.

"You're still speaking rudely!" Mira scolded with an adorable look of anger. "Why would that big meanie need help anyways?"

The boy seemed reluctant to speak and took a brief moment to scowl outwardly and contemplate.

"He…." he twisted his lips. The next part came out as a murmur, "got stuck underneath a tree bark."

"What?" Mira snapped. "I don't understand what you're saying! Speak louder!"

"He got stuck underneath a tree bark." He murmured again.

"I don't understand what you're saying!"

"He got stuck, alright?!" The boy barked and instantly hushed himself right after. Lowering his voice, he spoke. "It's too big for either of us to move. We were fooling around and we got caught up in some shinigami-hollow battle and the blast tore the tree down and it got over him. He's okay but the weight is a bit too much for us and those villagers to handle. We need help."

Mira grumbled, she didn't like Goro at all. And since he wasn't anywhere close to injured or dead, she didn't feel bad for her thoughts. "So why don't you just ask more then?!"

"That could take hours. Goro has asthma, he's in a tight spot—rocks fell too so that isn't gonna make breathin' any easier. We're gonna need some more willpower." His eyes unknowingly shifted to Rukia's back.

Mira huffed. "Last week, Goro was being the big meanie. Rukia-san, don't help him! He was mean to you and said that you couldn't be as strong as everyone said you were 'cause you're a girl. Remember? He said that he'd never ask for a girl's help in life 'cause they wouldn't be any help! Let those other villager meanies help him."

"That's gonna take too long." The boy argued. "I'm apologizing on behalf of him, just get going."

"No!" Mira defiantly screamed. "Rukia-san isn't going nowhere. Goro doesn't like her and spreads bad rumors about her."

"I said I apologize—"

"Goro doesn't deserve her help! If boys are so great, go find a big bunch and go help him!" Mira yelled before resuming her mud castle. "I hope I never like a boy. Boys are mean and stupid!"

"Never mind you!" The boy said to Mira before looking back at Rukia. "Look, I know Goro has said some mean shit and...yes, okay fine—he really does believe we're all better than you n'what not but...this is your chance to prove girls can be just as strong too. So, what do you say? Can you come help him?"

Mira scoffed. "She already has proved she's strong. Why else are you all comin' for her help when your stupid muscles fail you? Oh, right…'cause you all have stupid brains too!"

"I didn't say I thought girls were weak. I know that, why else am I here?" The boy gritted his teeth. "I know she can help us so that's why I'm here."

"But Goro doesn't!"

"And that's exactly what I meant about her changing his mind about you all." The boy finished. "C'mon, please? He's dyin' over there."

With hot red cheeks, Mira stomped and furiously refused, "no!"

Rukia stood up.

###

The tree bark was huge and thick. No wonder a couple men weren't enough to lift the thing a bit up for the teenage boy to get up. Rukia noticed immediately that even the rocks had flown down in chunks—too big for them also.

The boys and a few men cleared the way and Rukia set her hands beneath the bark and pulled. Breaths were cut as they watched the young girl yank the tree bark up alone, barely exhibiting any signs of struggle.

The tree was nothing but a mere feather by the looks of it. In a few seconds it was up and away. Goro could finally sit up with the help of others and breathe into his inhaler.

A few faces had remained frozen—feet drilled into the ground, mouths left open to dry at the sight which was already long over.

The spiky-haired boy ran to him. "Goro! You alright?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." The large kid named Goro replied. He then looked past him and saw Rukia. "The fuck you called her for?"

"There was nobody el—" Goro hit him.

"Why'd you let some fucking girl save me?! Do you know how bad that looks?! You couldn't fucking do it yourself?!"

"It was too hard! Look, Rukia saved you! Maybe—"

"I'm not thanking no girl." Goro said before he looked to the spot where she had been standing. She was gone.

He let his eyes wander before he spotted her back, walking away.

"Good…" he grumbled to himself before standing up. "Thanking you is the last thing I'll do."

###

Rukia could hear them. The gasps and whispers, wondering how she could've done what she did but even she was without answers.

She thought nothing of it and continued to walk back to the orphanage's area. Goro was just like any big bully—obsessed with shoving a tough image down everyone's throat to conceal their insides. She didn't care what he thought of her. In fact, he could spread all the rumors he wanted, none of them were true and therefore held no meaning.

She just wanted to help. They were all struggling in their own way, this environment was only poisoning them even more. Their only shot at living was depending on each other and trusting oneself. Though unfortunately, not many exactly adhered to the first one.

In a way, it was still 'everyone for themselves' even when they were depending on something or someone. It was a life that prepared you to only trust yourself and doubt others.

Rukia stopped near the rocks surrounding the river allowing hours to pass as she played with weeds as a substitute for flowers before a presence came behind her.

By then, the dark cloud above didn't allow for the shadow to appear on the rock. She remained silent and continued to pick her bouquets.

###

The usual supper was out though Rukia stayed out near the river. She sat on one of the rocks while sharpening a thin stick into an arrow while Mira sat beside her gobbling down the fish she had cooked for her.

Once again, she had resumed her silent act while occasionally glancing at the river mimicking her with the same quietness.

There was no more soup left. The bell rang to notify her and the others that they were out from a distance though Rukia had no plans of eating it. Any more sips and she'd vomit it all out. The taste was too repetitive and disgusting.

She had eaten her small fish earlier—nothing too appetizing as it was eaten bare without rice. This river had nothing. The fish had been driven out unlike the area she was only starting to vaguely remember now.

That place was rich in fish, particularly the river with that tall tree she once used to seek shelter in. It had been almost seven years since she went back near that area.

It wasn't far.

Nothing was really truly far here. Everything was just close-knitted together but with each section, there was a different vibe and way of living which made moving difficult. Markets were constantly changing and the things of value to trade were always shifting as a result.

It was at that night she first thought of returning to that area.

"Rukia-san?" A sweet voice called, interrupting her thoughts though she didn't mind.

The smile came before she could even finish. "Hm?"

"Mira was wondering how Rukia-san got so strong." Rukia didn't know the answer herself. Either way, she wouldn't be able to answer as the girl continued to chirp on. "I was just thinking of how huge that tree was. Huge! Big and giant and not even those stupid boys could do anything about it. But you could! Mira wants to know how Rukia-san got so strong, can you tell her?"

"There's nothing to say." Rukia explained softly. Following Mira's tendency to refer to herself in third person, Rukia followed. "Rukia thinks it's weird too."

"Rukia-san thinks that her own strength is weird?" Mira repeated with a puzzled look. "But how can Rukia-san think her strength is weird? To Mira, Rukia-san's strength is really cool! 'Cause Rukia-san is so strong, Rukia-san can do whatever she wants and take care of herself without anyone's help! Rukia-san can even take down tough bullies!"

Rukia laughed. "Yeah, I guess though...sometimes it does go a bit overboard, don't you think?"

"I like it when it goes overboard! It shows those stupid boys that girls can be just as strong too!" Mira said, ending the third-person reference for good. "Besides, there's nothing wrong about being strong! It scares off the uglies and keeps you safe."

Rukia sighed. "I guess you're right though, I don't really know the answer. It sort of just...came with me if that makes sense."

"That makes it even more cool, Rukia-san. Like secret powers or something! Your gift and your gift alone!"

"Gift?"

"There's no one I've seen as strong as you. You could wipe out all those boys by the flick of your finger if you tried."

"It's an odd feeling," Rukia said while rubbing her two fingers together. "It feels different—almost rare. I'm yet to find someone who can do the same things I can do and part of that worries me."

"Well it's a good kind of rare. I like Rukia-san just the way she is! With her strength, she can protect us all but only the ones who are good to her and deserve her!"

Rukia chuckled. "Yeah...we'll see about that."

"Why? Are you leaving?"

She felt her heart mold into liquid when the little girl's face shrunk. "You're...actually leaving? Is it Goro? That stupid meanie! I'll kill him!"

"No, no, no—" Rukia was quick to calm her down. "It's not that. I've just been wanting to explore a bit, we all don't plan on staying here forever now do we?"

Mira shot her a disapproving look though deep-down she understood. Everyone wanted to leave but leaving required trusting that oneself would be alright on their own.

"I won't be far, I'll be near and I'll bring you meals and nice stories when I can."

"What kind of stories?"

"Hopefully good ones and good meals." Rukia assured. "To be honest, I won't miss being here much. The only light was all of you who I hope took my advice well."

"Of course!" Mira assured firmly. "By the time you come back, we'll be forged like silver! We'll be able to handle ourselves and leave!"

"Easy," Rukia warned. "One step at a time, if I were you, I'd lean onto this place for a bit longer. Stepping out without anything to hold onto, even if it isn't much, is dangerous. Without a lifeline, you've got nothing to hold onto but yourself and that won't get you far if you're not ready."

"So what's your lifeline?" Mira asked curiously. "What does Rukia-san have to hold onto just in case she gets in trouble?"

"Me, of course."

Mira knitted her brows.

"But, you and I both know that that alone can take me anywhere if I try hard enough." Rukia forced a smile though it swiftly shifted to a confident one. She trusted herself.

It was the only person she had.

###

Mira, the social butterfly, flew from her side a little while after to go converse with her friends. Alone near the river, Rukia thought about what she would do after leaving.

Trading might've changed. She'd have to familiarize herself with the ways of the market again but most importantly find shelter. She hoped the tree she used to sleep on wasn't territorialized. Otherwise, she'd have to find somewhere else that was still close to the river.

She had no possessions to carry. The orphanage would most definitely not lend her anything since they were low on supplies. The only tool she carried was that one clip point knife she had gotten six and a half years ago but it had lasted a long while. She rarely had to sharpen the blade.

Perhaps she could find some fruit. The books had helped her learn about places she could check for berries and if she was lucky, different fruits. Some were out of her district but if it meant finding something actually appetizing, she would.

She could already imagine the sweet flavor of apple juice on her tongue, a nice big one would be good. Something she could finally use her teeth for instead of constantly drinking in fluids.

Her imagination seemed to be getting the best of her since her eyes imagined two apples tucked into a bush from far. But it wasn't—just that teller again.

Rukia just stared back at her until she became somewhat lost in them. The world around her suddenly became miles and miles away from her.

###

Months later

Coughs riveted the area. Another illness swept the orphanage, binding kids to their sleeping bags. Rukia was yet to leave though dreamt of doing it soon. For some reason, she felt reluctant to pull away from this place, even if her heart and mind were vouching for it.

She was one of the few without it. The cause had been that soup, the last portion to be exact—the last one to be consumed on the day she had saved the local bully, Goro. Now without it, everyone was beginning to starve.

Though it was nothing foreign to any of them. Even under the 'responsibility' of the orphanage nearly all of them had gone weeks and weeks without eating. Ingredients were scarce—they only ate that soup when they could afford cabbage or had something valuable enough to trade.

Rukia hadn't eaten in thirty-one days. The others, the same. With all the sickness, they had a choice between food and medicine. Ultimately, given the amount of people ill, they had chosen medicine which cost a lot more.

Rukia sat near the river bank. Nearly grey, thin, and wondering. She wanted to leave though not even she could move much without falling to the market to steal or beg.

The market was right there. The tables all lined up with a few people walking through and yet all she could do was stare and wait.

Though her patience was running thin. If she wanted to move, she needed energy and that was the only thing holding her back right now.

But as days went on with winter's air starting to invade before the snow, she eventually had to do it without much of a choice. Perhaps this was the closest she had been to death in a while.

With a weak stick, she slowly lifted herself off the rock and moved forward. Moments later her legs crippled and she was face front on the floor again. Her head spun too, the chilly breeze freezing her limbs.

What felt like minutes, easily transitioned into an hour on that ground. When she finally stood, she couldn't tell the difference between everyone—unable to process anything with even the minuscule speck of complexity.

###

"Why don't you help them?" Ichigo asked grimly. He could no longer keep his mouth shut. This was ridiculous. A lump caught in his throat. "Why...do you leave them like this? To suffer?"

The fact that it was quiet, the fact that no one could say a word, just amplified his shame.

For the first time, announcing he was a substitute shinigami felt like something to be ashamed about. As if the values no longer represented the uniform and instead, were purely for show. He didn't know why but he was beginning to feel complicit in this behaviour for just wearing it.

He turned to the left side of the Head Captain. "The Seireitei's got enough money, I'm sure, to find these people and help them. Why doesn't the Seireitei fund these orphanages? Why aren't there any programs or something for them to rely on?"

When he didn't speak, Ichigo felt himself lean forward. "Answer me. Why don't you help them? Why isn't there anything for them? You bring these kids here only to suffer. They die in the human world to end up in this shithole without any help. Is that your idea of a pure society? What kinda place are you running here?"

"—Answer me!"

Orihime gasped, "Kurosaki-kun—"

He didn't heed her warning.

"What is this?" Ichigo questioned. "Don't you see this? They have nothing. Nothing. I'm pretty sure if the Seireitei can afford to rebuild buildings at the rate they do, they can afford to give money to these people."

He heard the sound of a shoe grazing against the ground to his right and felt a pang of disappointment when the owner spoke.

"Ichigo-san, it's...a bit more complicated than you think. There are certain grounds which belong to us and the Capit—"

"Not you too," Ichigo strangled out. "Not you….is this acceptable to you, Ukitake? I think not. You all got a responsibility for the Rukongai too. Are you tryna tell me that your governance of the other districts is better? I can already tell you they're not. It's not like you're running low on supplies, the Seireitei is rich in all that stuff. And yet you leave these people...these kids to suffer like this. It doesn't make sense."

He observed all of them just then. "Someone's gotta say something. It doesn't make sense that these people have to suffer while you're all well and fed in the Seireitei."

"I agree the Rukongai is harsh." Tōshirō finally said, ending the long silence with shame hidden faces. Though he wasn't looking at him. His attention was fixated dead ahead. "Though I have never wondered why it is such."

"This place is horrible." Rangiku admitted quietly, her head down. "It's not a place for anybody."

"You struggle a lot…" Momo said right after. "Even more if you're all alone…"

"That old woman was right." Shuhei's voice was low. "'Hell with nice gift wrapping paper'."

"It's pretty grim." Izuru said but the monotonous delivery lacked the gravity he was intending.

"You all know that...and you never asked why?" Ichigo questioned those who spoke up.

Rangiku shrugged. "I dunno, it never really came to me to ask after I became a shinigami."

"Yeah, same here." Shuhei said.

"Ditto."

"What type of second shot at life is this?" Ichigo asked them.

"It's almost like the Soul Society merely exists to recreate the structure of the living world." Uryū added. "The idea of life after death only comes after you've died here in the Soul Society."

"Well that's pretty ruthless if you ask me!" Kon yelled. "Poor Nee-san and all these kids have to suffer because of all of you!"

"Was it always supposed to be like this?" Uryū asked no one in particular. "The Okasakes may have birthed this land but these structures...were they made to be like this? Did you," he turned his attention to the Head Captain, "and the Okasakes intend to recreate the World of the Living?"

"It's no different than the real world—struggling till the very end." Ichigo said before the sound of wood hitting the ground caught his attention again and he turned around.

It was Rukia, back on the ground again. Her legs could barely manage to move her a metre away from the spot where she had initially been. Ichigo didn't care—past or not—he walked to lift her up though before he could do so, the environment changed.

Ichigo whipped around to stare at the Head Captain who looked to the ground. To Ichigo's right was the same frail Rukia again with the stick—he had skipped ahead of Rukia's struggle to stand. Now here she was sitting on a grey stone with the stick by her side—still hungry and half-dead.

The horrors of what she was thinking was only seen when Ichigo got a look of the full image.

###

Flies buzzed beside her, behind a bunch of shrubs which would reveal the remains of a body. Rukia felt sick to her stomach when the thought even crossed her mind to do something like that.

Her crippling strength forced her to rest on a stone beside it all and contemplate. She couldn't do this…this person wasn't her. It was only the hunger talking but terrifyingly enough it was doing a good job at convincing her to do so.

Rukia stood up with the wood for support as she walked around the shrubs to see the deceased face to restore some humanity within her. Her feet ran cold the moment she did. It was Goro. Whatever had killed him must've been violent and likely an animal of some sort considering the fact that his round stomach had a massive hole where his organs were free to spill out and intestines free to dangle to his legs.

Goro's eyes were left tightly shut. It was the first time, in an odd way, she had seen him in peace and now he probably was. Her eyes darted to his organs which were free for the taking. Some were chewed but it was nothing she couldn't make use of.

The thought, once again, left her mind as her gaze fell back to his face.

This was wrong.

The idea was wrong.

But the position she was put in was also wrong as it was for the rest of the Rukongai who had nothing to do but to fight each other to live. This fault fell on the Soul Society and whatever so-called figures they had which ruled this place to begin with.

While the fruits were reaped and swallowed, children like her were forced to starve. As winter cornered them, the rations grew more scarce and practically invisible. Even the market streets were dry today with nothing but dying people braced against its walls, begging for life.

But even so, Rukia still refused to give into the loss of her own humanity like this. Staring at Goro in that moment made her think of both things—what her will to survive really meant and what she was willing to do to accomplish it.

None of it pointed to this gruesome thought she carried now. Even if his organs were just a step away from being taken and less than an hour away from being cooked for her next meal, she couldn't do it.

Taking this as her final decision, she slightly moved her stick to head to the markets yet again before Choda came beside her. He looked as horrible as she felt.

They didn't speak—only stared at Goro's decaying body with the same dead eyes. Rukia assumed that he must've been thinking the same thing too.

"Did you make up your mind?" He asked in a low tone. Rukia glanced at him once before returning her stare to Goro.

"I won't do it." She responded. "Not like this…"

There had to be something else she could find. A rabbit or squirrel or perhaps she could try fishing again...anything.

"What are you thinking of?" He asked quietly.

"Finding a rabbit or a possum or anything else that would stop this from happening." She explained. "Though," she found herself mumbling, "I'm not sure what makes me think they deserve that either."

"To what? Be killed?"

Rukia nodded her head.

"Didn't think you were that soft." Choda said to her surprise.

"Their life matters too, you know. There's barely nothing here—the more we have, the better it works in our favor."

"If we preserve them any longer we'll starve to death, Rukia." The lack of expression in her tone and his continued.

"But if we continue to do it we'll eventually have none left." Rukia said. She didn't like where she was going with this either.

"Did you check the market?" He inquired after a short pause.

"A bit but I found nothing. Most of the shops were closed up, I don't think there's anything left to sell let alone for us to steal."

Again, their eyes bore into the intestines of Goro's body. Rukia couldn't believe that she was considering this.

Choda licked his lips. "When's the last time you ate?"

"Too long to remember." Rukia's stomach growled. "And you?"

"Thirty-seven days." He spoke. Rukia didn't like where they were going with this— it was very clear they were both desperate if they were thinking like this.

Eventually she caught herself and shook her head. "No, we can't do this. If you had passed like this would you have wanted other people feasting on your organs?"

"Probably not but what are we gonna eat?"

"We'll find something."

"Like the rabbit?"

"I don't think I can kill bunnies either." She found them adorable. To even lay a hand on one with any malicious intent hurt her. "I'm not sure what I'm doing anymore if I'm being completely honest but I know I can't do this."

Rukia attempted to move though Choda's left hand stopped her.

"Hand me your knife." Choda ordered. Rukia glanced at her obi and then back to him.

She moved in closer. "You're not thinking of doing it, are you?"

"I have no choice." He didn't look at her. "We'll starve. No one at the orphanage knows what they're doing or has supplies. I doubt you'll find anything in those markets even if you try properly again and besides, you're not in the position to fight anyone like that. We have too."

He then corrected himself, "I have too."

Rukia sorrowfully looked back at Goro yet again. She was hesitant to pass the knife but eventually took it out and handed it to him.

"I'll return it after."

"Don't." Rukia said to his surprise. "I don't want it if it has Goro's blood on it. I'll be back."

With that, she walked off. Choda stood and contemplated his decision yet again as she did. The knife trembled with his hand as he moved it forward though his legs remained put—unable to move. After moving from Goro's face to his stomach with his eyes, he took a breath and chased right after her—leaving the open stomach of his deceased friend.

"Wait up!" He shouted before joining her down the dry sandy path. "Here,"

Rukia took back her knife as the fog engulfed them.

"You couldn't do it." Rukia acknowledged as the fog formed a circle for them of clear space.

He looked down. "No...We'll find something else, I guess."

He didn't seem so sure of that but nonetheless he had still followed her as if it had been the only option.

"Are you okay?" Rukia inquired. "Goro was your friend..."

"Whatever ate him must've put up a pretty darn good fight…" he mumbled with his head down.

"Must've been one of those wild wolves 'round here." Rukia said quietly. "Though it seems like it didn't have much of the appetite to eat when it was time."

"It was a waste." Choda said. "He didn't have to...go like that."

Rukia sighed, unable to find the words to comfort him.

"We're all just a waste of space to those people. All of them—but that doesn't mean we should have to leave so cruelly."

This was the first time Rukia had ever heard him speak like this. She let him continue to hear more.

"Goro may not have been the nicest guy in the barrel but he was also just a kid like us. He was also suffering just like us." He went on, "to think he left suffering like he lived is just...wrong."

"He doesn't deserve that—no one does. We're here suffering because someone decided that this is our fate but is that fair, Rukia?" She had no idea where this was all coming from but nonetheless, she didn't want him to stop. "I don't, thinking it's fair to leave us like this is bullshit. We deserve better."

"Goro, just like us, wanted out. He wanted to do something that would change that—our lives, our future—work hard, do better, get out and make something out of whatever we were given." Choda explained. "We thought of anything we could do which could set us free...maybe even all the villagers free. Something that'd give us value—enough to be recognized by those pompous, good-for-nothing freaks."

Who? Rukia wanted to ask for him to be clear but he did moments later.

"The shinigami are shit and the assassins are no better. Both leave us here to starve to death and give promising futures to the 'chosen' ones while the rest of us are left here to die out. This is supposed to be the world of the dead but here we are just reliving our deaths in the human world but slower. Through starvation, hypothermia and whatever other bullshit sickness this place has."

Rukia couldn't help but agree. Those books she had read at the orphanage spoke so highly of these beautiful places and the people who inhabited them though they were privileged—they had a gift, she and the kids at the orphanage didn't so they were condemned to this place of torture for eternity.

These so-called superiors were nothing but a joke.

"We don't deserve that—Goro didn't deserve that. The fact that most of us won't even live till adulthood is telling. This place grows emptier in rations by the hour, it's everybody for themselves here and nothing else. I doubt anybody here even has dreams anymore—there's nothing to dream about here. For something we didn't do, we've been condemned to this prison. What's even the point of Hell? Hell is here."

"Kids will suffer till their last breaths here. If you're not good at stealing, bad at fighting or just want to live as a kid here, you're not gonna live past a year." Choda said. "We're all screwed."

"That we are…" Rukia finally said.

Choda looked at her as she went on.

"I think it's cruel too. What's more of a joke is that there's nice places all around this world but we're just not privileged enough to see it. It makes me wonder what we did to end up here. Life after death should've never been made a thing if this is how we would live soon after passing. I would like the idea of us just passing and turning into particles of dust more than leaving our fate in the afterlife up to luck which most of us don't even have." Rukia said. "Thinking back, I wonder how I survived. You have to know so much to get so little, it's so unfair but also doesn't make sense if this is supposed to be the better after-world than Hell."

"You'd imagine this place to be filled with vegetation and nice people and pretty things and nice energy but instead, those sort of joys and wonders are reserved for those who live and die for these regimes that have been created by those who think of us as nothing more than bodies to serve than people with lives." Rukia kicked a pebble in her way as she scoffed at the fact she ever imagined that.

"You're pretty smart." Choda complimented. "The way you speak," he clarified.

"I just learned what I did from those books at the orphanage. They told me all I needed to know about this world. You live and die but you'll likely do it alone and with lots of struggling, depending who you are." Rukia responded.

"Well, that's pretty cool—I can't read so I wouldn't know." Choda confessed. "Saw a few images from them but they seemed make-believe so I never thought about them. Besides, there's no use in thinking about the things we can't have and can't see—we just gotta think of how to survive."

"To achieve what though?" Rukia asked. "Not like there's much of an end goal here. Can you imagine starting a family here? Working? Living comfortably? All of that stuff is off-limits—like you said, we aren't allowed to dream. We have no rights to it. Hell is here."

"Then what's stopping us from ending it?" Choda suddenly asked. "If we don't do it ourselves, we'll probably end up like Goro or everyone else here—sufferin' till our last breath. At least if we took it into our own hands...we wouldn't have to go the hard way."

"Believe it or not, I'm unsure about that too. Not exactly clear to me why I so desperately want to live when I'm put in a life or death situation. Maybe I still have hope, maybe I still do want to dream even though I have no right too. It's all so unclear to me too." Rukia said. "But I'm sure it's the same for everybody. Everyone here has nothing to live for but still choose to do it every day. May it be begging, stealing, killing and whatever other thing they all do to survive. It's weird."

"What do you dream about?" He asked.

The question caught her off guard. "Me?"

Her lips curved into a wistful smile. "It sounds very unrealistic because it is and I'll probably...never get that far in life to figure out but...I would like to find my birth family. All I could ever want is siblings, a mother, a father and maybe grandparents if I was lucky. I can't help but think of what I left behind in the human world before I died. What if I died with them and we're all just scattered here? What if I could find them or one of them or any of them to live with here so I wouldn't struggle so much on my own. As vile as it may sound, sometimes I grow envious of the kids who still have a parent here. They suffer the same but at least they have someone who they can call their own—their blood—someone who they belong to. Kids like us are just left without no one."

"That sounds nice, I wish I had a brother to look up to. Maybe a mom, sometimes a dad, anyone who could give me the type of hope Goro did." Rukia took note of how he looked down again at the mention of Goro.

"You…" Rukia watched him kick a pebble. "Really liked him, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I guess…" Choda's quiet tone only confirmed it. "He just—gave me hope. We had all these plans of doing something better only for him to end up like this. Goro, to me, did what a whole lotta people here didn't do and that's givin' me hope of some kind. It's 'cause of him that I even learnt to talk like this."

"I didn't imagine him being a person like that." Rukia admitted. "I saw him as a person with scars that he wanted to hide under a tough appearance but I understood it then. The only way we get by in this world is being tough enough not to break but I also saw that as his weakness for refusing to show his heart...The way you speak now makes it seem like he always had it but only showed it to those he loved."

"Lookin' back it sounds silly, doesn't it? He hid all that stuff only to die in the end. All those things he talked about—helping the villagers, being something better, giving us hope and value—will never happen." Choda said. "It was all for nothing...but I guess that's why we dream. We know it won't happen but we still hold onto it I guess like you with your dream to find your family."

"That's true. It's ridiculous, I've accepted that but I also refuse to let it go." Rukia confessed. "Somewhere, somehow my mind still wants me to believe that there is hope for that."

"I see you getting along with your dad the most." Choda said.

Rukia broke out in a smile. "Really? Why?"

"I dunno. You seem like the type too—I mean, you're strong, you're good at fighting and hunting and building—"

Rukia arched her brow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm not saying that your mom wouldn't be capable of doin' all that, you can relax." He snapped. "I'm just…" he relaxed his features, "saying that I see you being your dad's favourite, that's all. I'm sure your mom was one hell of a spirit if she gave birth to someone like you."

"Again," Rukia scrunched her brows. "I'm taking offense unless you explain."

"You're tough but you're also nice. You're also kinda stubborn but it's cool that you know so much. Guess it's 'cause of all that reading and what not. Anyways, wherever your family is, I'm sure they liked you a lot 'cause of how competent you were and even if you weren't—"

"Are you trying to compliment me, Choda?" Rukia asked to end his rambling.

"Yes." He brooded with his arms crossed. "Was just tryna explain myself like you asked."

Rukia laughed. "You're right, I'm sorry. Thank you, Choda, for the compliments."

"You're welcome." He unfolded his arms.

"But of all things, you've gotta stop associating tasks with gender of all things. That's so...old fashioned and wrong and—"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah—sorry, about that. I don't actually believe that boys are superior to girls or superior to anything at all so again, relax. I never got why Goro did that to you until he explained it to me. Not that it made it any right though." Choda said.

"You didn't let me finish." Rukia chided. "Incorrect. And I was talking about you thinking I'd get along best with my father because I could do those things but you may continue."

"Goro didn't actually dislike you or anything like that. He knew you were strong n'all that but he was worried."

Rukia was confused. "About what?"

"Well there's no doubt that it was a bit abnormal, not because of gender but because of your size and the fact that you never ate or trained and stuff like that. To be that strong meant that you'd probably end up being a shinigami or an assassin—that sort of thing." Choda explained. "Becoming one of them would mean just becoming one of those people who would eventually end up, like you said, privileged enough to experience all the shit we've been missin' out on because we're unlucky kids."

"You mean, becoming a shinigami or assassin would be treason." Rukia clarified.

"Yeah, I mean—look at what they do to us. I get it—I mean, shinigami are in charge of our district but you don't see them flying around with baskets of food to give to us every time they come 'round—it's only to flaunt their status and what not and the assassins, we barely see them. In fact, I don't see them because I don't have sheatsu. Forget those underground places they have runnin' here, what's the point if only trainees get all the perks while we're up here starving?"

Rukia understood what he meant immediately. It wasn't fair. Why'd they have the right to actually live while they suffered on this dry and lonely ground?

Rukia couldn't help but feel detest.

"—wait, what's that?" Choda asked, causing her to immediately turn to her left.

Rukia stepped back to figure out what he saw. The fog cleared slowly to show something shaped like a broad spoon next to a nearby river.

"Something to eat…" Choda was beyond hopeful at the thought but once the fog moved away and made things clearer, Rukia was mortified at the thought of even killing it.

"We are not killing and eating a snake." Rukia said, crushing his hopes immediately. "Let's go."

"—No, wait, why not?" Choda asked, now holding onto her right arm.

"I get that you're starving but we're not eating a snake. Remember what I told you before? We need to keep lots of these things alive to help with our environment." Rukia said.

Choda did his best to persuade her. "Look, it's not paying attention. All you gotta do is take your knife and do a quick slash on its neck."

"Right, and why can't you do it?" Rukia asked.

"W-Well—"

"Besides, one snake isn't gonna be a big enough meal for all of us. We should aim big."

"It'd be enough for both of us now. At least we'd have more energy to find or steal something else for the rest of the orphanage." Choda reasoned but Rukia wasn't all for killing a snake of all things for her next meal.

"No, Choda—c'mon, we'll find something else." She attempted to drag him away but he was determined.

"Rukia, think for a sec. We need this food—you need it. This might be our only chance of getting something that can keep us going for a lil while before our bodies give up."

"Not happening, I'm finding something else. I've never eaten a snake before and I'm not gonna start now." Rukia said. "Besides, how do we know that we'd be cooking it properly considering all that poison it has in its system? I know nothing about snakes so I don't even know where they store that."

"If you don't know, I'm sure I can figure it out."

"Wha—we're not leaving this to chance. Let's head to the market." Rukia said.

"—Look! It's still distracted, c'mon Rukia, let's just kill it and figure it out together." He attempted to pull out her knife.

"No, I'm not doing it."

"It'll be an easy kill!"

"No, I—"

"I am anything but easy." A deep voice suddenly said which left them still on their feet. They looked around in the encircling fog to try and identify where it had come from until the owner came slithering in front of their eyes, leaving them without words to say.

"Y-You—" Rukia stepped back as did Choda.

"I heard you were trying to kill me. I'd like to see you try." The snake said. "I'm more than just a little meal for both your stomachs, you pest."

"Am I that hungry? Or did that snake just talk?" Rukia asked with Choda next to her who had taken her right arm hostage in the state of fear.

"I-I don't know." He answered. "Whatever it is, it isn't friendly."

"He." The snake corrected. "Not it."

"S-S-Sorry, snake thing." Choda spluttered out.

"What are you? How can you talk?" Rukia asked him.

"It's not 'snake thing', it's Roger. I'm also a cobra if you hadn't noticed." He corrected him. "And I am a shapeshift breed hence why the thought of you of all things being able to kill me sounds ridiculous."

"Well," Rukia sighed. "Our bad—we're sorry, we didn't mean to offend you. We were just—"

"Why are you apologizing?" Roger asked her. "Youweren't trying to kill me, he was. Why is it your mistake?"

"Well, I still spoke of you as food and not as something worthy of living and breathing like me so..." the cobra, Roger, studied her after she spoke in a discomforting way.

Unable to figure out what it was thinking, she nudged Choda for them to walk away, "we're sorry, again. Choda, let's go—"

"Wait."

Rukia and Choda paused.

"I can get you food, what do you need?"

Rukia and Choda looked at each other that instant. "What?"

"You were trying to eat me because you wanted food but you didn't. In exchange, I'll get you food. What do you want?"

"That...won't be necessary." Rukia declined. "We'll manage."

"Why?"

"Uh…"

"Do you think I'll eat you? You are my size."

"No, it's just…" Rukia didn't know how to decline. "We'll be fine on our own. Please, carry on...we're sorry."

Choda pulled Rukia to leave and they did, rather quickly. Their little feet scurried in a rush unknowingly to get away from the cobra but little did they know, it could flash-step.

Moments later, Rukia felt her feet tangled up by something slick. The wood she was relying on to walk with dropped and rolled as her body hit the ground. Choda, who had been speed-walking with her, stopped to catch her but she fell anyway.

"W-Woah!" She shrieked before she hit the ground.

The moment she did, she whipped around to see the cobra hovering over her. Instantaneously, she grabbed the knife hidden in her obi and threw it as he opened his mouth. The knife went flying into his mouth—the force strong enough to pull the cobra away from her and up flying into the furthest tree where it was left stuck because of the knife.

"C'mon, Rukia." Choda said as he helped her up and handed her the stick.

"Thanks," she said while looking back at the far spot where a thick line remained dangling.

"You think he'll come loose?" Choda asked.

Rukia shrugged, "only time will tell...c'mon, let's go."

They moved along into the upcoming market.

###

"See, didn't I tell you we'd find something?" Rukia said with a smile as she held the paper bag in her hand of some onions and garlic they had found in a hidden shed. Choda held the bag with the lamb.

They were heading back down the path they took to get to the market. The fog still encircled them as the wind blew.

"Yeah, yeah. It makes me glad I didn't do what I was thinking of doing earlier." Choda said in relief. "At least we got something to last us a few nights."

"Some of the onions are a bit rotten but I still think we can make some good use of them." Rukia said before noting down their location.

They were heading downhill, the shrubs where Goro laid next too were nearby. To the right, Rukia spotted the tree where she had left the snake to dangle—who was now gone, so was her blade.

"Guess he got out." Rukia said more to herself but Choda heard it anyway.

"Let's just hope he doesn't find us before we get back." Choda said.

"You're right, we should hurry." Rukia said as they were nearing the shrubs and Goro's body. "They're probably dying for something to get their hands on. I hope the others found something to eat too. That way, we can cook a better meal."

"I think Sentaro and Hikari went to find something, they could be trying to find more booze if I'm being honest bu—"

"Choda, look!" Rukia called in disbelief—her hands and feet ran cold. She could no longer move, not as the present image in front of her unfolded clearly in front of her.

"What?" The same shock rumbled through him when his eyes fell on Goro's deceased body.

It was clean. Skin and organs all stolen away, his body left as only bones and a bit of head. Someone or something had taken all the meat left on him, leaving him as a pile of bones with little indication of who he was or is.

Rukia's stomach felt more empty as Choda dropped the bag with the lamb. "Goro…."

Rukia's heart ached for him. She tried touching his shoulder but decided against it.

"C'mon, Choda. You can come back. It might've been…" Rukia didn't need to continue for him to know. He picked up the bag slowly though his eyes never left the skeleton of Goro's body.

Slowly, they walked down the remainder of the slope before heading back to the open area of the orphanage. Surprisingly, kids were out and lined up. Rukia and Choda were met with surprise as they approached the door and one of the orphanage Heads came out.

"There you two are!"

"Uh…." Rukia looked around them as she noticed that they were all eating out of bowls. It was soup again. "Did you guys find something to eat? Choda and I found…"

She found herself looking back to the soup again and its contents. The orphanage Head must've noticed because she snapped her back to reality when she didn't continue.

"What?"

"We found onions, garlic and a lamb." Choda said on behalf of her as she resumed looking around. Her eyes fell on that soup again.

"Good, get it inside." She ordered though neither of them moved.

"You didn't tell us…" Rukia started. "Of what you found…"

The look that donned the features of the orphanage's Head told Rukia all she needed to know. All she'd ever need to know or remember.

They were eating Goro.

---

Present

Slipping out of her prison cell had been suspiciously easy. Rukia never imagined it to be as easy as it did—it's almost as if he was setting her free.

She went hours contemplating how to escape it. How she could leave that room and retrieve her belongings to escape though she found that slipping through the bars was trap-free. None of those grey people came back for her nor did she have any physical obstacles to deal with.

From there, she set out to find him or at least, find her belongings. Her sai blades, her fan blades, her other knives, her pictures and...the pure light were all there with her assassin uniform and doctor's coat. She needed it all back before heading to find Jūshirmai, her brother that is.

Whether it was true or not, she had to ensure that he was okay. Sitting and trying to get the marking he wanted would never come. The pure light would not hurt her even if she cried or begged it too.

It could not for that matter.

Coming to that conclusion reminded her of everything she was and everything she had forgotten but it also strengthened her need to leave. A hundred doors later, with all her personal belongings found, she set out to leave though she held herself back—finding the place empty and quiet gave her an opportunity to search.

For what? She didn't know but it also was a golden opportunity that she couldn't waste if she wanted more information.

The plan was clear. Search a bit and get out as soon as possible. Part of her knew or at least felt that her brother, Jūshirmai was safe which brought her great comfort but there was the other half which dread the thought of his location being unknown.

Nonetheless, she realized she could satisfy both sides of her intuition if she went by this. Her path was only hindered when a tall figure with long black hair was seen from a distance in the brightly-lit and wide cream hall with a long pink and gold x-patterned rug which lined the place.

Naohira.

Something told her she'd been waiting for this interaction for a long while. Rukia couldn't help but play along.

"Everyone in court fears you." Rukia shared, inviting a conversation that she knew they'd eventually have.

"Why?"

"'Cause you lost your dignity for a man."

Naohira scoffed. "Coming from you, that doesn't mean much. Men brought you down to this position, isn't that a little embarrassing?"

"At least I grew, you didn't." Rukia flipped her closed fan blade. "Do you intend on standing in my way?"

"You have orders to be in that room of yours until th—"

"That carving won't appear and you know it, Naohira. I don't know what he gains from it but it's not gonna happen. Believe me, I've tried."

She found it odd that they would foolishly believe that could even happen though the more Rukia thought about it, the more she realized that perhaps they intended on her breaking through the protective glass it had formed—setting her free but also putting her in danger.

Naohira wanted to flicker her eyes. "You can't do one task right, can you?"

Rukia internally scoffed at Naohira's tone. It was almost as if she was a school teacher.

"If you'd like to watch me yourself, please do but no matter what he makes me dream, that light can't hurt me. It won't hurt me and you know that."

It was clear Naohira's devotion was leaving her blindsided as usual.

"It doesn't matter what I know." She snapped. "Knife it in you then."

Never mind, Rukia thought to herself. Perhaps some sense was in there all along. Though, the sole fact that Naohira was a blind devotee meant that what Jūshirmai asked would be done no matter the costs. She clearly didn't see that Rukia was not.

"I thought you were his strategist. But," Rukia tilted her head. "By the looks of it, you're still fighting for recognition. Let me save you, Naohira. There's no point in aiding him any longer."

She chuckled. "Save me? When did I ask to be saved? And end up with you? Nonsense. You can think I'm begging to be free though I've never experienced more freedom anywhere else but here."

"You're stuck on your own loyalty. You think the years spent on it makes it valuable and that letting it go will throw your hard work down the drain but I'm telling you, there's more years left for you to live and devote yourself to anything and have it come out valuable."

"You are a hypocrite. Even worse than before, I take back the words I said on the night you escaped, you haven't changed."

She agreed. She most definitely was however, her situation and Naohira's was also different. Anyone being a blind devotee of Okasake Jūshirmai was destined to have a cruel end. Despite the animosity between them due to Naohira's pettiness over love, Rukia would save her if she had the chance.

"I can see why you call me a hypocrite on this one but just like you, I'm learning. Being loyal to someone for as long as you've been is difficult. It's harder to let go and I understand that completely which is why I want to help you. Let's do this together."

This was a genuine offer. She didn't know whether Naohira would see through it or assume it's nothing more than a tactic as Jūshirmai would have her believe.

"I want no relations with you, I don't even like you. I'm fine where I stand and have been for centuries. All this talk from you is nonsense that I wish you'd stop blabbering."

Her answer didn't come as a surprise to Rukia but nonetheless, she wished that she could see past all her hate.

"And why don't you like me, Naohira?"

Rukia already knew it had to do with Jūshirmai and love. Rukia, like many others had been, was an obstacle course which she had to bear with for however long they were there except, Rukia was different. Rukia couldn't die. That meant that she would be forced to endure her presence for an eternity—taking away all the attention and light from her though Rukia was wholly convinced she never had either of them that's why she saw Rukia with so much hate.

"Funny," Naohira paused. "I didn't take you for the sensitive type."

"I'm not but mere curiosity doesn't kill."

"If I told you I had no reason you wouldn't believe me."

"I don't believe I've done anything to offend you, Naohira unless your dislike stems from something I can't control."

If anything her hatred should be pointed towards the man she somehow found the means to love.

"I'll take that as you admitting responsibility." She tossed her knife. "Get back into your cell or he'll leave you starving."

"I can handle it. I'm not a fan of his meals anyways." 'She couldn't bear to eat anyways' was more accurate. Not with Hisana in mind...not with the past in mind.

"Bread too stale?" Faux concern made her voice rise an octave higher.

"Why? Did you make it, Naohira?"

"I'm not a maid." A sour face took over. "There's people for that."

"Given your willingness, I would've mistaken you as being everything there is to be here. I guess not." Rukia sighed. "Now will you move out of my way?"

"Carve that spider lily into your chest and you'll be free then. There's no reason for you to be wandering around."

"Would you do it for me then?" Rukia asked, the question caught Naohira off guard. "To recreate a spider lily like that, it has to be precise and like the original. Would you be willing?"

Naohira shot her a stern look. "I want you gone but I'm not your friend nor your ally."

"Then I guess you'll have to move." Rukia said gently before walking past her. "If it helps, I won't tell him you let me escape."

Naohira did not watch her turn into the staircase door because she did not intend on letting her leave. If she was acting Head Commander, she'd have her head tied upside down and have Clareese make her dream until she carved that spider lily up to her throat.

With that in mind, Naohira took out her chained brow blade and let it charge at her, pulling her by the ankle, as she stood in her place.

A battle would ensue on the palace's pink-cream hall, belonging to the lustful stone, ruby.

---

Past

Unable to bear the thought, and rightfully so, the Gotei 13 watched as the spiky-haired child named Choda ran away in disgust as the Heads took the bags from Rukia and him. Their supper was gone though Rukia didn't have the opportunity to argue for their food as she had already gone chasing after the boy who Ichigo assumed would become her longtime friend.

Though, it was still odd that he never saw a boy resembling Choda in the single photo she had from the Rukongai. It was a new face that he had seen only recently in the flashback of Rukia's interaction with Kuchiki Koga.

He, too, wondered what happened to them.

###

The moment Choda was nearing Goro's upcoming skeleton corpse, he collapsed onto the ground—vomiting out his disgust as Rukia chased after him.

Choda coughed with his two hands on the ground. Though she was hesitant at first, she placed her left hand on his back and lightly tapped against it to comfort him.

Choda took his arm and wiped his mouth as he cried. She crouched beside him and continued to tap his back before changing her gesture into rubbing circles. He cried so much, his entire face turned red. Rukia couldn't help but feel sorry for him.

He spat out whatever residual vomit or guck was left in his mouth before speaking, "fuck this—how could they do that?"

Rukia let him calm down between all the sniffs and crying sounds. "How could they...cook him like that and not say a word?!"

He cried more. Rukia couldn't find the words to say—thinking that perhaps they had done this before and they never knew.

"What the fuck was that?" Choda spat again. "Have they been eating us? Cooking us for food?!"

"Fuck this," he muttered. "Goro didn't deserve that. H-He didn't deserve that."

"Come on," Rukia said softly, she gestured for him to sit up properly—he did just that but with his legs up and apart and his arms hanging over his knees. He kept his gaze with a pebble on the ground.

"We gotta get out." His voice cracked as he shook his head. "We gotta get out, Rukia—what the fuck is this? What the fuck is that? I'm not stickin' around to become anyone's next meal. Goro didn't deserve that—he deserved to live."

Rukia bit her lip, still unsure of what to say.

He wiped his own tears. "Fuck this, fuck them, G-Goro shouldn't have gone like that."

Rukia, now on her knees, knew what they had to do then to provide some closure. She stood up—Choda raised his head.

"Let's bury him, Choda." Rukia said. "Let's put him to rest."

Choda sniffed before standing up in agreement.

"We can find a crate or even make one and put his bones in. And we can find a flower or something—I'm sure I can find one to put above his grave." Rukia said.

"Thank you...Rukia."

Rukia smiled at him. "Of course."

An hour later, Goro's bones were buried near a cliff and Choda was saying his last words to the grave. Rukia found that there were no flowers nearby, not that it was a surprise, so she settled with some bushy weeds or grass that looked somewhat flowery.

Maybe one day she'd come back and fix something up properly.

As the thought crossed her mind, a sound of a body grinding against pebbles caught her attention. Before she could turn around, the unknown figure appeared beside her—it turned out to be that cobra, Roger with a mouthful of flowers she had never seen before here. They were fresh and colourful but most importantly, real unlike the ones she had found.

The cobra bent his head low much to their surprise and rested the flowers atop Goro's grave before pulling back. Rukia noticed that her knife was still stuck in its throat. Gently, she raised her left hand and pulled it out before looking at the creature with a smile.

"What are you?" Rukia asked again.

"I already told you what I am. Why? Do you have doubts?"

"I dunno. Maybe it's 'cause I've never heard of anything like you."

Choda, who was bent down near the grave, looked up at him. "Thanks...for the flowers."

"It was no problem." Roger said. "You'd find nothing here even if you tried."

"My weird bushy flowers don't count?" Rukia asked.

"Hardly, they're drier than those pavements." Rukia giggled at his comment.

Rukia bent down to look at the flowers. "I guess so, though, I've never seen any of those here—where'd cha find them?"

"The next market to the north."

"Ooh, that's where I was last time before I came here." Rukia said.

"Is that where you're headed next?" Choda asked her, removing her attention from the blue flowers she was fascinated with.

"I guess so. I've been wanting to go back for awhile—I liked that place better than here and I understood it well." Rukia said. "How about you?"

"I'm heading down south to the market where Goro was from. I guess we say goodbye here."

"I guess so." Rukia looked up at Roger. "How about you?"

"I merely wander."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that I'm not bound by market logic, I roam where I please." He responded coolly.

"Well I guess this is where we say goodbye too." Rukia said as she stood and dusted off her kimono.

"Thanks for not killing us, if that even means anything." Choda said as he stood up too.

"I do not kill what I do not need." Roger responded. "Just be lucky you didn't meet any other of my kind."

"Are lots of your kind like that?" Rukia inquired, thinking that it would be useful information moving forward.

"They don't intermingle with human souls. They'd prefer to be without them if that answers anything. They wouldn't show the same compassion."

"Well, gee, thanks for the tip." Choda said.

"Just don't go around talking about killing just anything. You never know what they are." Roger warned. "In a world like this, the possibilities are endless."

Rukia and Choda nervously glanced at each other as the cobra turned and slithered away.

When he was out of sight, Choda turned to Rukia.

"Hell is here." Choda repeated before extending his hand for Rukia to shake. "I hope when the time comes, we'll meet again—safe."

Rukia grabbed his hand to shake. "I hope so too. Stay warm and safe."

"You too," he said—sealing their new allyship with a tight grip.

---

Present

Renji ran to Raiden the moment he saw him in the 12th Division's lab. "What the hell's going on?"

"Soul shadows," Raiden whipped around. "Renji, I don't fucking know but I'm tellin' you it's insane out there. There's millions of them—they're invading every fucking ward. Everyone's out there for defense."

He walked around him—the stress getting to his head as he tried to comprehend the situation, let alone explain it. "I went out and just saw this huge fucking blob of black and out came all of those shithead skeleton faces. Next thing I knew, they were invading different wards and slaughtered bones were falling out of nowhere. What'd Cang Du tell you?"

"Fucking nothin', that's what. He and Ingrim had their whole interrogation session with me for the fourteenth fucking time in 11th Division's level 9 interrogation room. Same questions over and over again—they wouldn't let me leave then, they got the alert and told me to stay fucking there—obviously I couldn't. Where's Wildfire?"

"Jail." Raiden brushed past him as he secured a lock on the machine behind him. "She was in the same place you were but nine levels down—the basement. They're holdin' her there because she was caught breakin' in the Kuchiki lair by Sensei Haruyoshi. She was lookin' for things on Rukia and well, that fucking failed as you can tell."

"What the hell?" Renji asked, startled. "Where's the Captain?"

"He knows and he's keepin' her there." Renji was confused.

"Why? It's not like she'd ever steal anything from the Kuchiki clan."

"I know that and I'm pretty sure he does too. I can't find him but, I think I know what he may be doin' and I'm not sure how much I like it." His tone was grave, the sound decreased into a whisper as he brushed his face alongside Renji's right cheek. "Minister Asa was put on the case and if what I'm thinkin' is true, he's using Wildfire's case to keep Minister Asa distracted for awhile so she can focus less on Rukia and more on her whole sinner and saints business. Besides, keeping Wildfire in a cage keeps speculation of Rukia being that Lieutenant down until they meet."

Raiden moved away and observed their surroundings. The place was empty, the whole division had gone out to fight except Renji and him.

Renji contemplated what Raiden said for a moment—unsure of what to say. After awhile, he thought of asking "what the fuck should we do then?"

"I don't fucking know, Abarai—if I did I wouldn't be fucking tellin' you. Secretary Cem is gone so she has some low-ranked officer watchin' her now, we got a chance to set her fucking free but—"

"What about Major Haru? He probably gave her the key, what's he doin'?" Renji asked.

"Last thing I heard was him tryin' to convince Minister Asa to have her released because of these fucking soul shadows but naturally and to no fucking surprise, she didn't budge because of her whole sin shit. Now, he's probably running both of their divisions outside while we deal with whatever fucking chaos is this."

They made eye contact and Raiden stilled in his spot.

"If we let her out," Renji began, "she might tell everyone about Rukia."

Raiden gulped.

"But if we don't…"

Raiden walked up to him. "We're picking a fucking side that's not Rukia. I'm not gonna fuck up my shit with Wildfire like you both did. Unlike both of you, she's been with me from the very fucking start and I'm already keeping too much shit from her that's gonna sting if she ever fucking finds out."

"We can't ask shit either." Renji said with his gaze lowered to the floor. "If we do, she'll know that we're—"

"Still fucking conflicted even though you're wrong and she's fucking wrong for disappearing the way you both did. You more than her especially because you had no fucking reason." Raiden spat. "Fuck this."

"But at the same time, what are the chances she won't? We're in fucking Hell right now, one look outside and she'll probably forget all about Rukia." Renji said, hopeful.

"You wanna take that chance? I know she'll fucking jump at the shot to help out with whatever is fucking that outside but the problem is that Captain going against her all of a sudden and not even botherin' to hear shit from her plus putting Minister Asa on her case is gonna cause a lot of bad blood I'll tell you that." Raiden explained. "Especially since she found information on Rukia's case in there...she's gonna wanna say something or talk to somebody."

"But even with this whole shit goin' on?" Renji asked, not entirely convinced.

"It's been fifty-two fucking years, Abarai—not a lifetime, you should know by now that Wildfire's emotions are a fucking ticking bomb in her head. Once they explode, not a single fucking thing matters may it be logic or reason or whatever other shit there is. If we let her out, she might as well scream on the top of her fucking lungs and say 'Rukia is living as Lieutenant Kuchiki!' and have everyone in a fucking frenzy over here."

"But—"

"I know she will, Abarai." Raiden said. "I know she fucking will, that's why lettin' her loose is dangerous—Sensei lied to her, you both lied to her and now I'm fucking lying to her."

"So what are we gonna do?" Renji asked him, finally convinced.

"I don't fucking know. Do I look like I wanna choose?" Raiden walked around—nervous, confused and unable to pick between two of his friends. "Rukia's important to the Soul Society so naturally we gotta protect her first in our situation but at the same time, it ain't gonna fucking look like that and grudgingly it also ain't fucking because of that. Betrayal n'all, n'I'm still fucking here so no, I don't want the whole fucking Capital to spit on her because she became a two-faced shinigami but at the same time, she does fucking deserve some of that—you more than her. But, Wildfire is actually my fucking friend unlike you two. Pickin' any of you two over her would be fucking disgusting, considering what you two did. Especially you...you didn't even have a fucking reason."

Renji didn't respond to that. He kept his eyes low and thought of Wildfire in the cell. He wanted to make up with her as well—setting her free and letting her tell the truth would also benefit him as well but Rukia...it would make matters worse for her as well.

He was so lost in thought he didn't notice Raiden approaching him yet again but closer.

"You got a reason, Abarai?" The question caught him off guard, it took him a few seconds to blink and look up.

"What?"

"You know what I asked you, Abarai. What was your fuckin' reason or did you really not have one?"

With Raiden so close to him, Renji suddenly felt transparent—as if he could see it all with just a glance. Feeling uneasy, he tried to change the subject or at least, deflect the attention.

"What about you?" Raiden was evidently confused by what he meant. "You were one of the last people Rukia talked to before she left. What the fuck happened there? You never explained that shit to me. Doesn't that mean you know her reason?"

Raiden stepped back. "Wha—not fucking this again. If I knew her reason maybe I wouldn't be so fucking mad at her."

"Sounds like bullshit to me. You're mad at her because she blamed you for some shit but you never told me what that was or could be. You're hiding more fucking shit then you wanna show just 'cause you don't want anyone thinkin' your the bad guy." Renji said which instantly lit a flame.

Raiden grew agitated, grabbing the collar of Renji immediately and pulling him close. "Say that fucking again and I swear to fucking God Renji I'll tell them the truth myself. To think you ran away and barely managed to get fucking nowhere with her is pathetic as shit—still don't know her reasoning nor do you fucking know why she's so frustrated over this shit. You let a fucking human—some substitute shinigami—walk all over you and take your fucking place, you piece of shit!"

"Gettin' mad at me won't fucking change the fact that you know something that you're not tellin' me or anyone else but you and fucking Rukia know what it is and I can bet you it has something to do with the reason she fucking ran away!"

"Lower your fucking voice, Abarai before you have her and your ass on our execution list next." Raiden warned. "If you really gave two fucks about her, you wouldn't stop speaking with her just 'cause Captain Kuchiki's grandson took her away. Maybe if you weren't so fucking spineless, you'd have her by now and some fucking human in like grade 10 wouldn't."

He pushed Renji off with a force that had his back slammed onto the machine behind him. "You're a part of the fucking suffering just as much as I am if we're being fucking honest here. You left her alone when she needed you the fucking most. She was fallin' apart and her best fucking friend left her rotting to death up until her execution."

"It wasn't fucking like that!"

"Lower your voice, you fucking shithead. Being fucking useless is startin' to become your brand. You're talkin' with her now but how'd you start to do it in the fucking first place? Oh, yeah, that's right, some fucking human with a big ass sword had to come rushing in from another world to beat the shit out of you—"

"Hey—"

"—to get your ass in check, I saw you lose, it was pathetic. To hear your fucking sob story was even more pathetic. You left here to become the Kuchiki boot-licker like you once upon time jokingly were except then it was a motherfucking joke and not actually fucking real. Spent all that time being the Lieutenant of the Kuchiki division for fucking what? To get in whose favor? Rukia's or Captain Kuchiki's grandson? Or was it both? Or was it just your way of crawling back into that shithole you belong to?"

Renji couldn't speak. "It doesn't matter anyway—none of it does because frankly, once this is over, I don't see you fucking coming back here—not that you would want too—you're probably just waitin' for those motherfuckers to be released from the Interioreum World to go right back into their arms and beg for their forgiveness like a motherfucking dog. Don't know why I even bothered giving you your SOS badge back, not like you're gonna fucking use it. This whole division didn't matter to you because your heart belonged elsewhere and it wasn't for fucking Rukia for sure. It was always about you. You're a selfish prick and maybe that's why you could never get your hands on Rukia."

"Fuck you," Renji said. "I don't have to explain anything to you."

He remained braced against the machine as Raiden came forward again.

"That's 'cause you have nothing to say, Abarai. I know you—if you think you can bullshit your way out of this then just know I can already see through your lies."

"Don't think I can't fucking see yours too." Renji said, which seemed to bring delight to Raiden's face as opposed to concern.

"I don't give a fuck about what you see or think you see, Abarai because either way, it doesn't change the fact that you're a fucking selfish prick who gave zero fucks about us when you ran away. You started your new life and I know you're just dying to get back there right now and maybe swim in some of that 'being a former assassin' glory with them. I'm sure they matter more than fucking us anyway so that being said, I don't give a fuck about you. Whatever happens next, Rukia will have to fucking handle it."

Raiden turned around, heading towards the platinum silver doors.

"You're letting her out?" Renji asked, unable to disguise the nervousness nipping at his chest.

Raiden paused—slightly moving his head to the right to speak. "Yes, I'm letting out my fucking best friend from prison because she's fucking right and deserves better friends and people in her life. Fuck all of this—fuck you and even fuck Rukia. Whatever happens next, happens. I'm tired of being both of your shields when all I get is shit thrown at me for nothin'. The least you could do is take care of our fucking division while I'm gone, Abarai you at least owe them that. I'm not returning back down there to be with the same shitty ass people who left me alone, thinking they were dead. Goodbye, Abarai."

Sorry to say it was a waste (AN: Contrite Apologies).

---

Past

Ichigo couldn't get past the hardship of kids in the Rukongai. Nothing could stop his insides from churning at the thought of life like this—considering this was the afterlife, none of it lived up to the way the human world imagined it to be unless, in Rukia's words, you were privileged. He was starting to second-guess everything now. Suddenly his shinigami identity meant nothing to him.

It sounded so easy for him to switch but after this, he didn't know what to feel or how to feel about himself. Rukia and that kid had a point and that's the fact that neither shinigamis or assassins considered their hardships at all.

In fact, they had every right to be resentful of them. Why did life matter if they were being treated like shit because they weren't gifted?

Rukia's case bothered him more and more as the transitions passed. She lived a lonely life—six years and everything just seemed to get worse. To see her starving, begging, fighting and even up until the very end, having to digest the fact that she might've been eating another kid all along was hurting him. All of this was so sick and twisted.

The thought of them boiling that innocent kid for food demonstrated a new level of desperation. The Rukongai was dry and the markets grew more empty as days passed as winter was near.

When he thought of Rukia's words about assassins and shinigamis he realized that perhaps she had given up at a point and decided that she couldn't be resentful anymore if she wanted to survive.

He didn't blame her for giving up nor would he call her a hypocrite for believing what she believed then—she was right and yet, at the same time he didn't see Rukia being willing to give in like that to survive.

The shinigami and assassins let millions of kids die alone, starving and helpless—their second chance at life was a joke and ended in misery and pain.

Rukia's case was only one of millions. The orphanage kid, Goro, was also one of millions.

He hoped the Gotei 13 watched and felt bad—felt guilty—felt ashamed. It was all so heartbreaking to watch unfold, he couldn't imagine living like that. To see how Rukia lived chiseled a new crack in his heart.

If this is how she had lived then she deserved every bit of luxury she had now.

It was never easy.

It never had been.

In silence, he watched the Head Captain show them how Rukia and Renji met and later, Rukia and Raiden. He even showed them the moment a shinigami had stepped into a street of their district and got showered with praise and glittery eyes—even handing Rukia a rice ball after she fell due to hunger earning him claps and praises for his generosity.

Ichigo gritted his teeth the entire time.

Though, the group of friends he had been familiar with were together every day. From there, some relief came to him that she had support—she had friends. The nights weren't as lonely anymore or made her as vulnerable to attacks.

Koda was short, had bushy brown hair and wore a sleeveless, yellow polka dot kimono while Oda was round with plump lips and wore turquoise with a big patch sewed into his kimono like Rukia's and then came Uzi who had spiky hair with most of it covering both of his eyes that neither of them could see. Adding onto the list was of course Renji, with eyebrows, which he was still stuck on him having and the quincy who often came by but never stayed for more than two or three days.

Still, like a shadow, the sovereign lurked though Ichigo took note of how her presence reduced itself as Rukia solidified her friendship with Renji and their friends.

It was strange. Almost suspicious as to how she slowly began to disappear as Rukia stayed with Renji and their friends along with Raiden who came in and out all the time.

Ichigo wondered if the tests had ended though somehow he doubted that would be the case. Tōshirō had agreed with him too, as well as Uryū, Shinji, Shuhei and Captain Ukitake. Something was coming that the sovereign had probably been waiting for and considering that Rukia had settled in, met Byakuya's grandfather and was living her life a bit normally now with a routine meant that it was coming soon.

The Gotei 13 watched carefully as the key moment the sovereign had been waiting for slowly arrived.

###

A warm, golden haze took the Rukongai by storm as afternoon ceased and sundown began. The fire beside them was crackling and busy as it cooked dinner while they sat on the ground, surrounding Raiden who was the only one sitting on a log.

He leaned in. "I figured it out."

"Figured what out?" Rukia asked.

"The thing we talked about—ya know meeting the assassin n'all, getting special protection from them and what not." Raiden briefly summarized though Renji, Koda, Oda and Uzi were unsure of what he meant.

"When'd we talk about that?" Renji asked.

"He means with me." Rukia answered. "I suggested that he try to get the assassin's protection considering what he is n'all. I assume they'd probably do something like that for him since he's the shinigami's enemy."

"Right, and now I finally got my answer." Raiden said.

"Whadaya mean?" Koda asked. "Will they take you in? Do you have sheatsu? Are you going to become an assassin?"

His excitement grew after each question.

"Nah, nah, nah hold up. That's not what I meant. I meant that I figured out how to find those motherfuckers since I haven't been able to meet one who can tell me if I have all that." Raiden clarified.

"You mean get to their training grounds?" Renji asked.

Raiden leaned in. "No, fucking Abarai, I said find them."

Rukia giggled. "That still means 'finding them' Raiden but I get what you meant. You mean find them on our grounds even though we can't see them."

"Right," Raiden said.

"Woah, how?" Oda asked.

"I've been here for six years and I've never seen an assassin once." Koda said.

Rukia turned to him. "Me neither."

"Kinda sounds almost nonexistent if you ask me. Are you sure about this?" Renji asked.

Raiden leaned back. "What? The assassins or my way of finding them?"

"Both. I've been here forever and I've only ever heard of them."

Rukia was surprised. "You don't think they're real?"

"Nah, I definitely know they're real but I doubt we'll ever see them in our lifetime." Renji said.

"I've only seen photos," Uzi said. "They look so cool."

"You're right about doubting you'll ever be able to see them in your lifetime, Abarai—" Renji sneered at him, "—but I think Rukia and I've got a fair shot."

"What? Why?"

"C'monnnn," he dragged. "They'll at least take some interest and then we'd finally be able to see the big n'mighty superiors of the Soul Society."

"What makes you think they'll take interest in me? I'm not a quincy. What even is this method of yours anyway?" Rukia asked him.

"You know how the assassins recruit kids n'what not on spot if they have sheatsu in their system and ya-di-ya-di-ya-da if they find them, right?" They nodded their heads. "And the whole recruiting process is random and not planned?"

"Yeah."

"Turns out, that's a lie." Raiden rested his two hands near his knee cap. He occasionally brought up his right hand to use for his many talking gestures as spoke. "There's three ways you can get up in that neighbourhood and it's a, you either go to them yourself, b, they find you on the streets or c, they find you during what they call, Cleansing Streets."

"Well, that doesn't sound dehumanizing at all." Rukia remarked sarcastically.

"What'd they do there?" Oda asked, having misunderstood.

"There's no location for it. It is here. Every few months they do it. The streets get cleared, assassins roam the street and they pinpoint people who might have sheatsu based on the release of something from their body."

"Can we see them?" Koda asked in excitement.

"That's just the thing, we can't see them but we'll be surrounded by them." Raiden said. "The point is to be chosen and taken down to where the rest of them hang out. That way we'd be able to see them since no one uses sheatsu for covering up down there. It's perfect."

"Why have we never heard of this method before?" Rukia asked, having remembered that none of the books she had read spoke about this supposed method.

"That's 'cause it's some informal shit. Turns out they only started using it a few years ago. Dunno why though—but it works. Not sure if the higher ups know they're doin' it though." Raiden explained, which drew some suspicion from Rukia.

"That's a little weird." Rukia said. "Though I guess with this many organizations underground, it's hard to keep track of who follows the rules and who doesn't."

"Ruks, who cares?" Raiden asked in excitement. "Either way, this is our ticket outta here."

"How so?" Rukia asked.

"Trainees get a bunch of nice shit from what I've heard." Renji explained. "Even though Raiden's only gettin' special protection," which he made sure to emphasize to Raiden's dismay, "doesn't mean they won't give him shit."

"We'll get food." Uzi calmly cheered.

"And candy!" Koda yelled.

"And sweets!" Oda screamed.

"Hold on, we still don't know if this'll even work." Rukia said, trying to keep everyone from getting ahead of themselves. "Though, I'm sure Raiden will get in and get protected either way, we still don't know what that would mean for him if we consider the possibility that he'll just come out protected by them—nothing more, nothing less."

Raiden grinned. "Doubt it."

"You're sure you got sheatsu?" Koda asked.

"Nah, but if anyone has it here it's me or Rukia. It's worth a shot." Raiden said. "Two is better than one."

"Our chances aren't that great then." Renji sneered. "Though I don't get what you were all excited about. By the looks of it, only you'll be seein' them and besides, what's the point of the hype if you won't be gettin' anything either."

Koda turned to him. "It's still worth a shot, Renji—don't you think?"

"Yeah, that still means we have a chance of gettin' something!" Oba said cheerfully.

"I didn't say we couldn't do it. I meant that there was nothing in it for us." Renji clarified.

"It's a shame we can't see any of them in broad daylight." Uzi said.

"Yeah, I was betting on the fact that we'd get to see them during this daylight cleanse thing." Koda said.

"Sucks that they always gotta stay hidden." Oda brooded.

"But why though?" Rukia asked. "I don't get it."

None of the books she read had answers to her questions.

"Maybe you can ask…" Rukia's eyes moved to Koda. "That Captain that always comes to see you. He's an assassin too, isn't he?"

Rukia didn't know for sure though she suspected it. The only knowledge she had of the Kuchiki clan was the basics. They were mentioned in the books of assassins she read and considering the Captain's age or how he appeared, he most likely was or had been one.

Frankly, she didn't want to ask.

Raiden scoffed, passing it off as nothing, "that doesn't count!"

"Be nice." Rukia scolded. "If it weren't him we wouldn't be eating green beans with our fish or even rice."

That reminder silenced him for a few seconds.

"It's still an assassin in broad daylight." Uzi pointed out.

"That's true but what do you even know about that Captain anyways?" Renji asked her but Rukia didn't know what to say.

She shrugged. "Nothing I would say but then again, I'm not exactly sure what you mean. If you mean about him being an assassin I don't know but I'm sure it's likely. I have read about the Kuchiki clan in some books before. I've just never asked."

"Wouldn't he know of the locations under here too?" Koda asked.

"I'm assuming." Rukia answered. "But I won't ask. I don't think it's right."

"The more I think of it, the more I'm sure all you're gettin' is special protection, Raiden." Renji said. "If you had sheatsu, wouldn't that Captain have pointed that out already and tell you to go underground or somethin'?"

"Between me and you, I'm sure he's not interested in doin' any of that. He only comes here for this one." Rukia glared at him when the last part hit her ears.

"Careful," Rukia warned.

He put his arms up. "I'm just pointin' out the obvious here. He's a noble, doubt any of us have any value to him so there'd be no point in helpin' us out."

"Raiden." Rukia called in disapproval. "You were literally eating his rice minutes ago. Don't sound ungrateful."

"Rukia, you sound like a shinigami apologist."

"I'm not." She immediately said. "I'm just saying that, regardless of our opinions on shinigamis, assassins and especially nobles, it doesn't change the fact that he has been helping us out despite all my refusing. I didn't take the rice or the beans but somehow it ended up on our plates hours later because you took them."

"Because we needed them." Raiden said. "I get why you don't wanna take it, Rukia but the shinigami and assassin regimes have already screwed us over a bunch of times. They owe us that, you shouldn't feel bad."

"That's not me." Rukia said. "And it shouldn't be you too. Especially considering the fact that you're going to find the assassin regime right now for protection."

"Because I need protection. We need the food too. There's no way you're telling me you're more comfortable with some random noble from some prestigious clan bringing us food than me getting in the place myself and being able to provide us with all that."

"I didn't say that either." Rukia argued quietly. "I'd rather you stop taking things from him. We can eat our fish just fine."

"Rukia's right, Raiden." Though Renji agreeing with her didn't come to her surprise, it did to Raiden. "We shouldn't be takin' shit from a random noble. Especially one from the five-six-seven-whatever great noble clans. I know they owe us that shit but there's no guarantee that we won't end up owing them back later."

Rukia found herself disagreeing. "I don't think Captain Kuchiki is like that, Renji."

She rushed to clarify. "About the owing part. I'd like to think that he gives us this with good heart though, I don't feel comfortable receiving it regardless. I do feel like we—I—owe him somehow."

"So whadaya want from me?" Raiden asked. "You want me to stop?"

"Yes." Rukia said. "I know you guys are different but I just...don't like it—it feels wrong. Taking it behind my back isn't funny either."

"Alright, alright I'll stop. Lucky for us we won't have to worry about food any longer." Raiden said.

Rukia looked to the river nearby and back. "We got a lot of fish, there's nothing wrong with eating more than one and it's not like we can't steal some more onions or beets for something on the side."

"That's not what I meant. That whole Cleansing Streets thing is tomorrow—at noon."

"What?!"

"How would we even know when it's noon?" Rukia asked.

"Guess we're gonna have to get up early." Uzi said.

"And roam the streets?!" Renji asked. "That's askin' for trouble. There's no way we're gonna be able to stay there long enough after that stunt we pulled a few days ago with Rukia."

"We got the beets, didn't we?" Rukia giggled. "And these potatoes though I'm not entirely sure what to do with them yet except boil them."

"We'll be discreet." Raiden assured them. "Relax, we got this. Anyhow those villagers pull some shit it's not like we won't be able to escape. Besides, once the whole thing starts, I doubt they'll have the nerve to intervene with assassin business. I'm pretty sure they know it's going on."

"But you said it was random. How'd you know the date and time?" Rukia asked.

Raiden smirked before a toothy grin arrived. "A lil' birdy told me but I won't say. All I know is that it's happenin' tomorrow so let's roam the market and hope for da best, alright?"

They all looked at each other for a moment before coming to an agreement. "Okay."

"Cross our fingers that we'll get something." Raiden mumbled.

"Would be nice to stop stealin' from those streets." Koda said.

Uzi put his hand down his back to rub an aching spot. "Yeah, that last villager we fought left a big bruise on my back. The thought of going back to steal an ointment terrifies me let alone stayin' there for longer than two minutes."

"We'll be fine," Raiden charismatically assured. "After tomorrow, we'll have no reason to even live near these streets. We can finally build a home or something, I don't know."

Somehow Rukia became even more convinced that they were getting ahead of themselves though she didn't voice it.

"And Rukia won't have to give anyone else more injuries, concussions or kicks to the face." Koda said.

"Hey!" She shouted in faux offense before they all laughed.

"C'mon let's get to bed." Renji said before standing up. Everyone followed and got into their sleeping bags.

The fire continued to crack as night took over.

###

Fast asleep, Rukia huddled her body close together underneath the thin sheet of the sleeping bag. The nights were slowly getting warmer as summer came running in and for that, she was eternally grateful.

There had always been a cold chill which followed her wherever she went so she never got excessively sweaty whereas in the winter her body would have moments where it became almost numb—sort of immune to it all—or just freeze. There was no in between.

Tonight was one of those nights where that chill stayed. It buzzed near her toes and shoulders like a barrier meant to stick around her. At first, she didn't mind it as the air was moderately cool but warm, however, it came to the point where her feet started to sting. Her legs unconsciously moved closer together to generate more warmth though the ice cold temperature of her legs stayed. She found herself trembling before the ice cold temperature shot up from her legs to her head and she was awake.

"Rukia!"

She gasped and sat up straight—adjusting her eyes to the light casted by the fire beside her as her name was called again.

"Rukia! Rukia! You're awake!"

She couldn't tell who belonged to that voice. First it sounded like Renji and then Raiden and then, both of them but there was only one problem.

No one was awake.

The boys surrounding the fire were fast asleep, snoring and stuck in their place. No one was around their isolated little spot next to the river. From a distance, she saw the streets—they were quiet and dark and as for their spot, the lack of lights besides the fire told her all she needed to know.

She was alone.

There was not a person in sight. The place was empty and yet someone had called her name sounding exactly Renji and Raiden but they were asleep.

Analyzing her surroundings again, she found nothing. Who was that? And why did it sound so nearby?

"Rukia!" A voice hissed to her left. She immediately turned to find the source of it but was met with nothing but the night's darkness and the big old tree they slept next to with now budding leaves.

Again, she found that nothing was there.

Nervously, she turned right to look across from the fire at Renji's sleeping bag. If this was a joke, she'd kill them.

"Pssttt, Renji!" She shouted in a whisper but was met with no response. She did the same thing with Raiden though was met with silence yet again.

Something was here...but she didn't know what. That fact reaffirmed itself when her chest fell as the blanket attached to her sleeping bag rose up.

Immediately her legs moved as she looked to her left again and saw the action unfold. The blanket slightly raised up—a chill was there, a presence was there and it was stronger. She felt the weight of it as the blanket went down but whatever came in was still there.

There was a heavy presence beside her and it frightened her to the core. Her hands were faced down on the floor as she stared at the spot of her pillow which now had a dent. Someone was there laying...something was there.

Rukia immediately gulped as the strong force seemed to move in between her legs and out. She shook terribly as a strand of her hair on her left side danced upwards like it was attracted to static of some kind.

She didn't move, only stared but her body could more appropriately be described as paralyzed on spot. She found herself staring into the dent on her small pillow, the strong unseeable force moving into her.

Though the worst was yet to come and when it did, she couldn't help but gasp as the presence lightly fluttered above her chest, providing a chill that she could only respond to with a shriek—immediately pulling herself out of the bag with her elbows buried into the sand.

The presence was still there...swirling in the sheets and yet, somehow it couldn't feel more near. It was almost as if it was much closer than she thought. Her thoughts were confirmed when slowly, something wet tingled on her left shoulder. A cool breeze touched it and Rukia gasped—rushing onto her feet, she didn't waste a moment to sprint up to the tree.

She leaped into the air and jumped onto each branch until she was midway near the top. From there, she peered down—observing her seemingly 'empty' bed from afar.

###

It was Jūshirmai.

The smaller, irritable kid form had snuck its way into her sleeping bag and incited the panic that had Rukia up on that tree.

Though she couldn't see him, she could obviously feel him. The terror in her eyes, the nervousness which rattled her body made him watch in sorrow more than anger.

She didn't have a clue about what she was about to be involved in next.

"Kuchiki's ability to feel sheatsu though she can't see the person using it seemed to have started from here or perhaps even earlier considering that it's part of her natural abnormality." Tōshirō said.

Rangiku agreed. "It's like it was baked into her halfway or something. Almost like a deformity from birth."

"She could definitely feel him, more than she wanted to, of course. From her expression, it seemed that the presence was strong enough to translate a feeling equivalent to a touch." Uryū observed.

"Something tells me tomorrow is going to be interesting." Captain Hirako said.

"She hasn't met him yet." Captain Ukitake said. "But when she does…"

"The real terror will start." Ichigo said.

###

Morning came and Rukia was braced against the bark of the tree, fast asleep until she was awoken by the sound of her name again except, this time it was real or at least, that's what she was trying to convince herself.

The voice last night had felt and sounded very real and yet some parts of her wanted to remain convinced that it was her mind tricking her.

Looking down, she adjusted to the sunlight slower than usual. Renji and Raiden were staring up at her, confused.

"Whadaya doin' up there?" Renji asked.

"Hurry up n'get down. We can't miss this!" Raiden said as she leaped from the branch and landed on the space in front of him.

"Let's go then." Rukia mumbled. She probably looked exhausted though it had been awhile since she had last slept on a branch and not an actual sleeping bag—though that wasn't saying much.

"Hey, Rukia, are you alright?" Renji gently asked behind her.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She assured quietly as she stretched and cracked her neck. "I didn't sleep well."

"Well no wonder, what the fuck were you doin' up there?" Raiden asked but Rukia didn't know how to explain.

"Never mind that." Rukia discarded. "I'm gonna wash my face for a bit and then we can leave."

Renji noticed but didn't want to say anything about it in case it triggered a bad memory but from what he could see, there was a mark—almost like a handprint near the back of her neck, extending from the left side of her shoulder that partly illuminated a cyan colour but red, the colour of dried blood.

It seemed new. In fact, he had never noticed something like that until now which meant that it probably was and based on how she was acting now, it probably happened last night.

###

They kept a low profile as they entered the market. Koda, Oda and Uzi trekked behind them as they tried to 'blend' in as much as they could though Rukia's eyes were open and observing the sellers' faces and those around her.

Something felt off though she couldn't pinpoint what. Part of her concern came from those sellers she had clashed with a few days ago over stolen goods though there was another part that was concerned about whatever occurred last night.

She didn't know why but she felt as if the presence would somehow appear somewhere around her but in a physical form which she could see though as minutes passed the possibility left her brain. Whatever happened last night wouldn't happen here...not unless she was alone.

With that thought in mind, she tried to stop making her stares so obvious in case someone recognized her. The last thing she wanted now was to fight—her whole body felt sore, especially her shoulders.

As they neared the next intersection, a bust sound was heard and Rukia immediately turned around only to be met with a flashing white light which blinded her momentarily.

When she regained her sight, everyone was gone except her, Renji and Raiden.

###

"They're relying on the soul collector!" Tōshirō identified as he looked to the skies where the whirlpool formed. Billions and billions of soul emotions were reaped out of the people who were there but appeared as nothing more but a thin outline.

"This must be some sorta singling out process." Ikkaku said. "It's obvious they're tryna weed out the weak ones on each street."

"Why aren't Renji and Raiden glowing?" Ichigo muttered to himself though Kon and Uryū heard.

The soul collector was active and much like what had happened before (AN: Sudden Confessions), bodies with sheatsu were supposed to light up in a cylindrical sort of tube except, Renji and Raiden who they knew in present time had sheatsu weren't.

Ichigo watched them split up. Rukia went straight, Raiden to the left and Renji to the right. They were trying to find other people since to them, it appeared like they had all disappeared.

One by one he saw tubes from afar light up with the sheatsu glow he had been waiting for but the red ones belonging to Renji and Raiden never came. Renji and Rukia made it back to the same center of the intersection, the light flashed and Raiden never returned.

Just like that, the streets returned to normal, people could be seen and the soul collector was gone. He watched Rukia and Renji stand in confusion as they waited for their friend.

Was it over?

"Ichigo look!" Kon shouted from his shoulder.

"What, Kon?"

Orihime beat him to it. "There's a mark on her shoulder. It looks like a hand."

"He fucking left a mark." Ichigo acknowledged.

"Are we sure it's from last night though?" Captain Hirako asked.

"Well I didn't see anything come over and touch her." Rangiku said.

"Me neither." Momo confirmed.

"By the location, it looks like it was from last night but she is yet to notice it yet." Tōshirō said. "It most likely seems like a stiff shoulder rather than a bruise."

"But what kind of bruise is that?" Orihime asked.

"It's glowing bright blue but also red." Isane observed.

"Wonder how Renji and his quincy friend haven't noticed it yet." Lieutenant Hisagi said.

"What are the odds they can't see it?" Lieutenant Kira asked.

"It's likely." Uryū said. "Her hair and kimono are only covering a bit."

"What was the point of abusing her?" Ichigo asked in disgust. "He put his hands on her without her knowing and left a mark and for what? He clearly likes it when she knows he's there."

"I believe it is nothing more than his childish playing card, Ichigo-san—nothing more. Causing her this amount of stress and panic at an early stage was likely to incite fear and control. To call it a test would be inaccurate. I'm sure he already knew on his own that her sensory skills were able to detect sheatsu despite not having it." Captain Ukitake said.

"All she's been doing is getting abused. What the fuck more did he want?" Ichigo asked. "He probably stood there and watched from afar like that sovereign."

"The way I see it, Captain Ukitake is sorta right except, I still see this as a way to gain something." Lieutenant Hisagi said. "She clearly doesn't know or have any interest in knowing what she can see and not see. She understands her own strength is weird but she doesn't care to know more about it. Freaking her out like this is an easy way to get the ball rollin'."

"I get it. Even if she isn't talkin' about it, I'm sure she's gonna mention it sooner or later to find out what it was." Captain Hirako said.

"And when she does...do you think that's how she meets the Okasakes?" Momo asked him.

"Probably," Captain Hirako responded. "She'll probably start looking for answers soon, right Head Captain?"

He didn't respond.

"Hisagi makes a good point though I wonder how that would happen." Tōshirō said.

Rangiku was a bit confused, "why?"

"Because from what we've seen Kuchiki currently has no interest in shinigamis or assassins. A part of her is still uncertain about the elder Kuchiki." Tōshirō explained. "Though she's confused, it doesn't seem like it was enough to convince her to seek answers. She didn't even mention it to her friends even though the interaction felt abnormal to her."

"You're probably right," Captain Kyōraku said. "Though, I have a feeling that she might ask ol'Ginrei about it indirectly when he comes by."

"How can you be sure?" Ichigo asked.

"I'm not but the way I see it, Lieutenant Kuchiki might be unsure of ol'Ginrei now but she also still views him as a companion."

"That seems plausible though, I remember the elder Captain Kuchiki mentioning to the other younger Captain Kuchiki that the Okasakes had met Kuchiki-san without his knowing. Those two interactions had been separate so...I'd say Captain Hitsugaya is right about questioning how it would all happen now. Kuchiki-san particularly seems to have a strong distaste for both shinigamis and assassins. It's hard to imagine her forming a relationship like that now in her current state." Uryū said.

"That's where Ginrei-dono might come in." Captain Ukitake said. "She's skeptical but as Kyōraku said, she values their companionship. By the looks of it, he's only been around her for a little while. Perhaps Ginrei-dono manages to give her some reason to continue."

They were taken to just that.

The world faded around them and suddenly it became early dawn. Pink and oranges and yellows were in the skies, shining a fresh light to the buckweeds in the open field. Rukia came walking out with a black cardigan, like her old one, securely wrapped around her shoulders.

Ichigo figured she was trying to hide the bruise. She knew.

The conversation shifted to just that.

###

"I have a question." Rukia felt nervous bringing it up but after the bruise, she needed to know what was going on.

"Go on." The Captain instructed her as they walked through the field.

"This might sound a bit weird but is there…" Rukia stopped behind him and so did he. She could only see the left side of his face. "A sort of sleeping condition where you hear and feel stuff that's not there?"

He slightly turned a bit, causing her to nervously clutch the two sides of her semi-open cardigan which was buttoned at the top. Would he think it was a joke? Was it a stupid question? She could never tell and that's what made her nervous.

"There is a condition called sleep paralysis. In many cases you are unable to move while you experience certain situations." He informed her and somehow, that made her feel a lot more relieved if something like that was possible though, she had one problem.

She was moving.

"You may hear voices, sounds, see things that are not there or feel things such as being asphyxiated." He continued and the more he did, the more she was starting to relax except, there was also the bruise.

In the shape of a hand….

He was facing her fully now. "But it is no more than a mere sequence of fictional occurrences. You are paralyzed in a state for less than two minutes. No aspect of it is real."

Rukia looked at the ground, contemplating whether it could've just been an episode of that. Hearing voices and feeling a presence beside you would definitely fall under that sleep paralysis criteria but there was still that bruise and the fact that she was moving and awake.

"Can you be awake for it?" She inquired. "Can you still be able to move and experience...it?"

But then again, it seemed like the key point of this condition was to feel immobilized.

When he didn't answer, she assumed he was becoming suspicious and then it came, "what happened?"

Rukia's heart was beating faster this time. Part of her wanted to tell but part of her now felt like she was making a big deal out of nothing now that he showed some concern.

She tried to deflect from much of the truth. "Something like that...I heard voices...they sounded like Renji and Raiden at first but then, it became completely different and unrecognizable. I also felt...something beside me. I don't know what it was but there was definitely something there laying next to me. It was with me and it...touched me."

Rukia met his eyes and was unsure of how'd he respond. She definitely couldn't control how she appeared to him now, she knew she appeared very vulnerable. Her grip on her cardigan got tighter the more she reflected on the situation.

That entire episode couldn't have just been a thing from her mind. She knew what she felt but more importantly, she was awake and there was even a bruise in the shape of a hand as evidence.

It had to be more than that. She was sure of it and yet to voice that out completely would be to tell this noble who she barely knew about something that she wasn't entirely sure he really cared about.

"When did this occur?"

"A night ago. I was with Renji, Raiden and the others. We were sleeping next to the fire and it happened…" Rukia unconsciously stepped back after, feeling see through.

Regret came soon after that. She should've never mentioned it and figured it out her own way. Her mind worked to change the subject and brush it off as nothing but the fear hidden in her voice was clear as glass to him.

Even if she tried, she was sure he would know that she was just trying to brush it off. For that reason, Rukia almost prepared her feet to run but of course that thought in itself was foolish. This was no villager or kid, this was a Captain—a shinigami, an assassin, a noble and an elder.

She stood no chance.

To run was to make a fool of herself.

Rukia sighed, trying to act genuine. "I suppose it's nothing then. By the looks of it, it probably was just an episode of that sleep paralysis condition."

She slowly turned back and forth with her arms crossed—abandoning the vulnerable position which had given all her feelings away before.

"You said you moved. You were awake." Yes, she was. But it wasn't a big deal—she could wait and discover it on her own. Bugging him with stuff like this was just another way of becoming a hassle to him.

The last thing she wanted was to be remembered as a nuisance.

"Did anything else happen?" He questioned her and Rukia knew they were approaching the final time to confess anything before moving on.

Her mouth moved to say 'no' but a part of her also wanted to say 'yes'. She was conflicted to say the least—she was yet to know where the true intentions of this Captain lied and whether she could trust a noble shinigami.

This could all be temporary. She didn't know and she didn't like the fact of not knowing because it put her in situations like these where parts of her trusted this Captain but parts of her were also precautious and wary.

"No." He saw through it. She could tell or maybe those were just his eyes testing her. "Nothing else."

"You are sure?" This question came as another final confirmation of what she felt and again she was conflicted. Nonetheless, she decided to go along with her last answer.

"Yup," she mentally shook her head at her own informal Rukongai language, "—sorry, yes," she corrected herself, "there was nothing else."

He was studying her.

Rukia forced the most surest face before thinking of a way to change the subject and avoid giving away too much again.

Somehow, her mind ran to Choda who she hadn't seen in awhile though nonetheless, the last memory they shared was fresh in her mind and reminded her of something that would most definitely change the subject.

"By any chance have you seen any blue flowers on your walks here?" Rukia asked. "They're blue, light blue like the sky and they have yellow at the center."

He studied her a bit more, long enough to have her think about making an excuse to run away again though he eventually turned. As he did, he gave her an answer, "they are called morning glory."

"Morning glory." Rukia repeated. She walked up beside him, something she knew she probably wasn't allowed to do but he remained wordless at the action. She assumed he was okay with it. "Do they come in any other colours?"

She walked ahead, hoping he'd follow her and the subject would be changed.

He fortunately did, though not without a few seconds of silence and inaction.

"Yes, they also have a different core…"

And like that, they drifted off into the field.

###

"She's got it now, ya see." Captain Hirako said as they watched them leave. "Now she's wonderin' about it 'cause she knows it isn't some episode of sleep paralysis."

"He did it intentionally to have her move like that but also to test her relationship with this Kuchiki." Tōshirō observed. "The younger Kuchiki from the present mentioned that the good entity of the Okasake heir and the Okasake heir himself were never fond of the Kuchiki clan if that wasn't already clear. It's evident Okasake doesn't like her near them. Perhaps this incident worked to test the nature of their relationship early on."

"Well that clearly ended up backfiring if he thought that Rukia and Byakuya's grandfather wouldn't be well acquainted afterwards. The real hammer to the nail must've been Rukia's adoption into the Kuchiki clan legally." Ichigo said. "Byakuya's grandfather mentioned it awhile back. He didn't expect it to go that way even though he used it to his advantage."

"I've noticed." Tōshirō said.

Captain Ukitake lowered his head. "Part of me is now led to believe that they were also people he indirectly threatened her with hence why she stayed in the Rukongai."

Ichigo glanced at Byakuya behind Captain Ukitake once and then back. "The Kuchiki clan?"

Captain Ukitake nodded with his head bent, almost in shame. "Despite it all, it's very clear that she knew of the members of the Kuchiki clan active at that time. Though her relations may not necessarily be clear, they were still people that he could have indirectly threatened her with considering his disdain for them."

"Ginrei-dono may not have necessarily been a target but I'm sure…" he wiped his forehead, "the others were."

Ichigo reflected back on the annual noble heir gathering photo and tried to think of the 'others' which were left.

Byakuya, his aunt-maybe-mother and his father, Kuchiki Sojun. A name he had only become familiar with from Captain Ukitake and the term 'Sojun's spawn' which had been used earlier by the Okasake heir and Kla which gave a pretty clear indication of who it was.

Ichigo wanted to shake his head, trying not to think of Rukia being such a close ally of the Kuchiki family beyond what he saw from that photo and even that small interaction he had watched at the annual noble heir gathering.

It's what he feared most.

Not for his own sake but for Byakuya's.

Rukia couldn't be that involved, otherwise, they were headed towards one hell of a storm.

###

Rukia and Renji found themselves back at the market again, at that same intersection waiting for Raiden. Hours seemed to go by until he finally came running back, his eyes lit up in satisfaction and excitement.

"I got in!" He yelled in excitement as he ran back. Immediately Rukia and Renji punched him. "—OW! What the fuck is wrong with you two?! You," he narrowed his eyes at Rukia, "especially."

"Wasn't there any way you could tell us?" Rukia asked him. "You had us worried sick."

"Yeah, you fucking dumbass. Had us waiting here 'til night and this mornin' waiting for your rooster top to show the fuck up." Renji said.

"What the fuck was that, Renji—" he moved closer to him though Rukia pulled them apart.

"So, you're getting special protection? Is that it?" There were more serious matters at hand of course.

Raiden averted his attention to Rukia with a grin. "Much more than that."

"No fucking way—"

Rukia blinked, letting it all settle in. The moment it did, she moved closer, "you...have sheatsu?"

Somehow Rukia didn't think he had been referring to whatever benefits he would get. The grin on his face indicated much more than that.

Was he…

"Rukia, I told you he's wasn't gonna get in like tha—"

Raiden kept his eyes locked with hers. "What rank?"

The cocky smirk left Renji almost speechless. "No fucking way…"

Rukia observed him for a moment, trying to get the most accurate guess.

"Whomever gets it first, 'ill get the first piece of cakeee~" he sang.

"Yellow, no rank! No, wait—white, Secretary of the State! Ah, ah, uh—turquoise! Lilac! Green! Blue! Rankless!" Renji started to shout out potential answers while Rukia stared at Raiden in deep thought.

She wasn't sure what she was relying on but rather than shouting out answers, she resorted to thinking about which she best felt suited Raiden.

When the answer came, she raised one of her crossed arms with a knowing smile. "Second rank, red, Secretary of State."

"You got it," he finally turned to Renji, "see, Abarai, I told ya."

Rukia giggled before turning to a red Renji, "relax, I'll share!"

Renji resumed back to normal as Rukia changed the subject to a more important matter shortly after. "Are you...really going to become an assassin?"

Raiden relaxed his features, understanding where Rukia was coming from. The shift in tone was his indication of understanding how serious a transition like this was.

"I know I shit on them but I also don't see why the fuck not. More perks is what we deserve, not gonna let their fucking logic of letting us die out here stop me when we can't do nothin' to change that."

And though that did make sense…

"Protection is one thing but if I can also live and train beside people who are my own than fuck this. It'd be nice to be among actual quincies and not have to be bat shit scared about talkin' to anybody. I'd be fully secured and so would we." He extended his arms to pull them in a side hug. "Look, I know this wasn't exactly our plan. Those motherfuckers never gave a shit about us, I know but I also know that we can't fucking live our lives out here till we're all old and wrinkly 'cause we'll probably never make it that far let alone die happily. Protection is one thing but having sheatsu means a whole lotta shit now. The perks are confirmed, our future is secured and we can finally live life like kids or whatever's left of all that youthful shit. It's a bit hypocritical, sure but we're also not anyone special to make a change or any difference."

Rukia knew the last part was especially true. Regardless of whether they removed themselves from succumbing to the higher regimes, it wouldn't change the fact that their defiance meant nothing because they in itself didn't hold any value so their voices didn't matter.

Even if abstaining from assassins and shinigamis was an honourable thing to do to honor every kid and every person who had endured hardship here instead of happiness, it still meant nothing and would do little to inspire change.

The reality is that these higher regimes had already sucked all their hope dry. No one looked at protests or gatherings or strikes as anything useful because the reality was that the people who would assemble to form them were viewed as useless in this society. Therefore, despite making up the majority of the Soul Society's land, their words would still mean nothing.

They were nothing until they made themselves something. It's why so many jumped at the chance to become a shinigami or an assassin. Not just for the perks but to mean something—to matter.

The reality was that they were the only ways to become a true voice in this society. With that in mind, Rukia couldn't find any wrong in what Raiden had said. Despite it all, it was true that this was inevitably their only choice if they wanted to get somewhere.

No one wanted to live in this dump forever but unfortunately many did and died on the grounds they despised the most.

Rukia nodded her head in agreement. "You're right."

"So what the hell happens now?" Renji asked. Rukia's eyes lowered, still thinking about how cruel it was that they had no choice but to intermingle with the regimes which ran this place to have a 'valuable' identity. "How'd you even get there? Did you meet anybody? Speak to anybody? Hear anybody?"

"One question at a time, Abarai." Raiden scolded. "As for gettin' there, I swear that shit happened so quick. I was checkin' the other streets like we planned and someone came out of nowhere and grabbed me. Next thing I knew I was flying down somethin' with brick with someone holdin' onto me but I couldn't see anythin'. It was all black. It happened too quick for me to even figure out what the hell was goin' on until I got underground. I was tossed and landed on my feet, next thing I knew I was in some sort of fancy grey hall, it was huge and busy. Thousands of kids like us were down there, lined up, walkin' around, they were waiting to get tested in this huge tube thingy. Others were grabbing all these fancy dessert thingies on a huge table and the others like me who were already confirmed to have sheatsu had to line up on the side to go into this other hall, a sort of purple one—uh—like lavender. Anyways, I followed n'there was an assassin guy on this podium thingy and he started congratulating us and shit and then told us that if we planned on training to become an assassin we had to go through this whole funhouse to get our ID n'shit. It was fucking cool. We all entered this lime corridor that sort of laid out the path that we needed to follow. Got to enter a bunch of rooms and confirm a bunch of things about our identity. It was fucking fantastic, the rooms were all fancy n'shit too—representing those stones belonging to the Seavens. We went through a bunch of things in there, a whole fitting and had our schedules given out. I start tomorrow."

While Renji digested all that information, Rukia, who had only been partially listening spoke, "what about your special protection? Did you pitch that idea first or at all?"

"I had no reason to." Raiden said with a grin. "Having a sheatsu is all the protection I'm ever gonna need. And once I become an assassin, I'll be a hybrid protected under assassin law so those shinigami people can't put a finger on me without risking triggering a full fledged civil war."

He sounded so excited. Rukia almost hated to ask but she did, "but why not? You could've asked for special protection and see if you'd be awarded the same benefits normal trainees do."

Isn't that what this was all about?

Rukia was starting to regret this whole idea of having sheatsu and retrieving benefits for the sake of being an assassin trainee. She felt as if they were being reeled in by the devil.

Suddenly this all was starting to feel like a sin.

"What's the point when I could be gettin' us somewhere better and actually be gettin' paid of all things when I'm done trainin'?" Raiden asked. "We'd actually be pavin' a better way out of this shithole."

"I guess…" she sighed. "You're right—I'm sorry, I was thinking of how cruel it is that we've got no choice but to do this just to get the heck out of here…"

Unknowingly, she moved from Raiden's side—removing his arm from her shoulders as she walked ahead.

"Part of it just feels like succumbing to the devil's request," she went on. "They refuse to feed us and give us a life unless we have something worthy in exchange to receive access to those qualities. It's all so cruel to control us like this and yet...here we are, falling into that same trap—just begging for their generosit—"

"What the fuck is that on your neck?" She heard Raiden question behind her.

Her hand slid to touch it before she turned around. Maybe now it was time to confess, she thought. Of what she felt...what she heard...and what she saw.

###

"This gotta be some guy with sheatsu fuckin' around with you." Raiden said as they sat crisscrossed beneath the tree near the river. Their home.

"You think?" Rukia asked.

"The way you say it makes it sound like some creep tryna scare you 'cause you can't see him." Renji said with his arms crossed. He was the only one who stood.

"That makes sense though the weird thing is that I could feel him—not like skin to skin but I could feel the presence of something and it did at times feel like something more than some pressure. For example, here—" she touched the left side of her neck, "—it felt like something wet and then a breeze but it was also like a force...it was heavy."

"Did he talk to you again?" Koda asked.

Rukia shook her head. "No, after he called my name the third time, I never heard it back. It was all action then."

"Sounds like he was tryna scare you like Renji said. Probably some pervert who got his first taste of sheatsu n'was trying to test the waters. You were probably able to feel it because he was letting you. He wanted you to know." Raiden said.

He muttered shortly after. "Glad I didn't see him. I'd tell those guys downstairs and have his sheatsu removed."

"They can do that?" Rukia asked curiously.

"Sure! I mean, any fucking kid tryna mess around n'abuse somebody doesn't deserve to have sheatsu if they're gonna use it as a fucking tool to screw around." Raiden said.

"Do you remember anythin' else?" Renji asked with a stone stare. He seemed angry.

Rukia shook her head. "No, that's all I remember. After I got up on the tree, I didn't feel it anymore. It was all gone and that's how I slept. I don't remember anyone touching me long enough to leave a print like this."

"If we're lucky, maybe there's still some, I don't know, leftover particles from his sheatsu or even reiatsu on that mark that they can test." Renji said, which intrigued Rukia immediately.

She wanted to know who or whatever that was.

Raiden's face lit up. "Renji's actually makin' sense here."

"If you could ask one of those assassin people, Raiden, they could probably figure it out on spot." Oda said.

"I'll see what I can do tomorrow after my first class. Don't do anything to it that could mess with whomever put their hands on you." Raiden advised.

Rukia pulled the back of her kimono up to cover it up after his suggestion before she caught the eye of Renji who was nodding his head in agreement though that empty look in his eyes told her something else. She had a feeling that perhaps he couldn't wait that long to find out who or what had touched her back.

A part of that made her fear what he might do.

###

"Raiden's gone." Uzi informed them as he folded his sleeping bag. It was morning, afternoon was probably soon considering how high the sun was in the sky. "Renji too."

Rukia, who had been in mid-fold of her sleeping bag, paused. "What? Where'd he go?"

"I don't know, I woke up n'both him and Raiden were gone." Uzi said.

The immediate feeling of worry impaled her.

"What?" Koda asked her.

"Nothing…" she muttered before completing the fold and packing it beneath the tree where it was then tied tightly around it with a trap secured in case someone tried to steal.

A harmless one that is, just in case it was kids which, it most likely would be.

She thought of Renji as she tied the red ribbon around with the help of the others. He seemed different yesterday—the kind of different which made her fear him because she could no longer understand what he'd do.

Fortunately, the one she knew came running back to them from a distance. He had news. Rukia was happy to see the normal smile and the normal Renji on his face.

"Come! Look!" He was panting heavily.

"What is it, Renji?" Koda asked.

Oda got hopeful. "Did you find more food?"

Rukia just walked towards him, anxiously waiting for what he had to say. He wasn't looking at her or rather, he chose not too.

"Just come!" He urged before jogging away. They glanced at each other once before following him. They jogged behind him, eventually running as his jogging got faster once they passed the outhouse and a shed into another open area that was part market, part empty.

Catching their breath, they looked at Renji who was bent over something in excitement. What was that?

A well. A dark brown one—rusty clearly and seemed unused. Behind it was a line of rusty sheds like it.

Rukia and the others approached it slowly, confused at what he was so excited about before his expression morphed into one of regret. Rukia peered inside and saw no end to it. By end, she meant water.

"You called us here for that?" Rukia asked with her head bent into the well. The others followed her and looked to see pitch black.

"I got money from that shop," Renji started to explain, they all knew 'got' meant stole but didn't bother to correct. It meant the same thing here anyways. Nothing belonged to no one. "I was walkin' through here to bring it back and…" he was out of breath from running so fast he had to pause, "I saw this thing and well, I never knew there was fucking one here so I thought I'd take a look and—"

"Just say you dropped the cash." Rukia muttered, perching her elbows up on the rim of the well to see clearer. She still found nothing despite the better view.

"Great, Renji, just great." Uzi retorted as he too mimicked her actions and bent in. "I don't even see water, it just looks pitch black."

"Try harder." Renji urged. He now had his elbows up on the rim. "It can't be that far down."

"I don't see anything." Oda observed.

"Hmm maybe you can light a torch to give us some light." Rukia said.

"Good idea!" He jumped off, having been looking across from her, to find a thin piece of wood to light.

"I don't think we're ever gonna find it down there. Even if we do, there's no water, how are we gonna bring it back up." Uzi said.

"You're bein' dramatic, we'll find a way." Renji confidently ensured. "How we know there ain't any water down there anyway. If we can't see, it's probably a bit more deep, that's all!"

"Still, what kinda well would be that deep? The fact that we can't even see it in broad daylight like this is weird." Rukia said, still leaning in close to find something.

Renji removed his elbows from the rim and jumped off. His response was delayed. "So what?"

"What do you mean 'so what'?" She mocked. She glanced at him once before looking back into the darkness of the well. "It's weird how far down it is, that's all."

"Maybe we should drop something." Oda said to her right.

"Yeah," Koda agreed to her far left. "We'd probably be able to hear the drop if there's any water down there."

"And guess how far down it is." Uzi said with a smirk.

They both jumped off and went to scourge to find something to drop. Rukia remained bent into the well with Renji behind her.

###

"Hey," Izuru called, wary. "I think something's off about Renji."

"He looks fine to me." Rangiku said.

"Probably still mad about what happened to Rukia the other day." Ichigo muttered as they observed them.

Renji had looked a bit distant following what he heard happened to Rukia. There was a gloom there but Ichigo saw it as anger considering that someone, who they knew had been Jūshirmai, abused her that way while they were asleep.

"—wait," Kon alerted them in a loud whisper, "what's he doing?"

Renji was no longer looking at the well but Rukia's legs.

"That creep…?!" Ichigo squeaked in disbelief. Now look who's acting like a pervert.

"Don't think he's thinking about that, Kurosaki." Uryū said but it sure looked like it from here.

"That should be me looking at Nee-san's smooth, beautiful, slender legs!" Kon shouted in sorrow.

"Shut the hell up, you idiot!" Ichigo scolded. "Not at Renji actin' like an A class pervert after being upset about another one touchin' her."

"Don't know why you act so surprised, Ichigo." Izuru said. "Not like Renji hasn't had a crush on her since they were kids. I'm pretty sure we all knew that."

The Gotei 13 repeated 'yeah' and mumbled in agreement creating a brief moment of noise with voices overlapping each other.

"That still does not give him the right to look at her like that." Captain Ukitake chided. "That is not appropriate nor is it right."

"You all act like you've never seen anyone look at legs before." Mayuri scoffed.

"I don't think someone like you should be talking, Captain Kurotsuchi." Captain Kyōraku said.

"I'd say the same for you." Mayuri said. "It's in your nature."

"Now hold on, let's not have this talk without Lisa here." Captain Hirako smirked.

"You clearly don't understand what we're getting at here." Kensei brooded behind him.

Lieutenant Hisagi turned around. "Aren't we talkin' about legs, Captain?"

"What's wrong with legs? I look at a pair like that all the time before I eat 'em." Kenpachi licked his lips in satisfaction.

"Feet soup is soooooo yummy!" Yachiru yelled.

"F-Feet?" Ichigo's mouth puffed up, feeling as nauseous as he did when he found out that they had cooked that kid back at Rukia's orphanage. "As in human feet, Kenpachi?"

He shrugged. "Doesn't matter. A nice chop is all we need."

"Kurosaki-kun, look!" Orihime called, Ichigo glanced at her before following her pointed finger.

"He's throwing her in!" Ichigo announced in a shout.

###

Rukia didn't have time to think once her feet were being lifted in the air by a pair of arms against her will. She only had a brief second to look back and see the culprit who was, to her surprise, Renji.

"W-Wha—Renji!"

As she fell back, she reached out and grabbed whatever parts of his clothes she could with him—pulling him down with her as they both screamed and descended metres and metres down the well.

A loud thump was heard of two kid bodies as screams of their names became virtually nonexistent in the dark.

---

End Note

Next Thursday: Wanted: Skeptics & Hypocrites Part II

byaruki / tumblr.