TRIGGER WARNINGS: panic attack and suicidal thoughts!

The following weeks saw them spending more and more time together. After that first night at Hermione's place, a newfound need for time alone together awakened in the both of them. Hermione felt that she was steadily doing better - the phantom feeling of water sloshing around her ankles subsided and it was replaced bit by bit by a warm, comforting feeling, with every look and fleeting touch from Fleur. When she smiled at her, it was sometimes as if the sun itself shone on her and carressed her with her golden rays. It was a profound experience that she didn't know how to place. At times, she worried it was all happening too fast, but at other times, she longed to just lean into it and let go. So sometimes, she did. She looked on, bashfully, as Fleur bustled about. Occasionally, as if feeling eyes on herself, Fleur looked at her and smiled. She'd brush her hand against Fleur's as they were walking on the beach, or huddle close to her on a park bench. And a quietly hopeful part of her thought she noticed Fleur do the same - only more cautiously. She suspected it was because they talked about her uncertainty and inexperience with romance. She hoped they wouldn't have to, either. She was grateful that they abided by their rule of not voicing expectations, so she didn't feel pressured, and could see where their interactions took her.

The urges and intrusive thoughts stayed away for the time being, and the fear of them was out of her mind most of the time. She was thankful for every moment where she could think clearly, and notice things about herself. She was aware that since Fleur's first visit to her apartment, the atmosphere between them shifted - no doubt by Fleur noticing her looking, hoping, touching, nervous that something would happen, not sure of herself, but willing to try, maybe because of the wine, maybe because of the trust and familiarity slowly building between them and paving the road.

She didn't rightly know what she would have done, had either of them just leaned in. She didn't feel like it would have gone over well, but she knew, and not even so deep down, that it wasn't a matter of not at all, but of not yet.

With that in mind, she kept her heart consciously open to the possibility of more, whatever it meant. She tried to convey it through actions, afraid to jinx it. Fleur seemed to welcome the change either way, being naturally tactile and affectionate. A few more instances of being called ma chére didn't escape Hermione' notice either.

Hermione spent a considerable amount of time catching Fleur up on muggle technology, too. Everything from light switches to washing machines delighted her, and she was eager to learn, though, admittedly, not in the way Mr. Weasley had. By her own confession, Fleur had a lot of his teachings to unlearn.

One particular evening, when they were settled in front of the telly to introduce Fleur to the delight of movies, she quietly admitted that Mr. Weasley once told her, very enthusiastically, that tiny people lived in these boxes and acted out plays. Hermione had to fight her urge to laugh very hard, and she didn't think she did very well, but Fleur was right along with her. She of course admitted that she didn't precisely know how a TV worked, either, but told Fleur she could think of it as a wizarding photo album that required electricity.

Fleur quickly adapted to the thought that while in the magical world, if you couldn't explain something, it was just how magic was, and in the muggle world, it was similar - if Hermione didn't know how muggle stuff worked, she'd just say it requires electricity.

"Although my dad used to say things ran on smoke - that is, if you saw smoke coming out of them, they no longer worked." She explained, in what Fleur supposed could have been a funny anecdote, only Hermione's expression grew very dark very quickly, and neither of them laughed. Fleur suspected it was most likely about Hermione's parents, but she also knew this wasn't the time to ask - she put the story together from half conversations years ago, and felt no rush to ask for details. She gave Hermione's knee a tentative squeeze, and after a short, respectful pause, she rushed to direct the conversation back to safer waters.

"So this remote control…" She asked, staring at the thing with a myriad of buttons, making herself look more lost than she really was. It worked, of course. Hermione shot her a grateful smile that gave the impression that she knew exactly what Fleur was trying to do, and launched into another round of explanations. Soon after, they selected a movie - Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, which Hermione found immensely amusing - and settled down to watch it after dinner, sitting close together with a bowl of popcorn propped on their thighs.

Later, when the movie's credits started rolling on screen, Hermione became acutely aware of a weight against her side. Fleur's head rested on her shoulder, her breathing shallow and even - she was fast asleep. Hermione looked at her fondly, not at all startled by her emotions for the moment. She took her time to admire the features of Fleur's face. The arch of her brows, her long lashes, the round tip of her nose, and the delicate, cupid's bow curve to her lips.

She felt reminiscent of a moment not too long ago, Fleur sleeping on the couch at Shell Cottage, and her looking on, torn between terrified and curious. This time, she felt entirely different. Fleur mumbled adorably in her sleep, and the sound of it filled Hermione with warmth and contentment.

There was a decision to be made here, and she weighed her options. She could wake Fleur, but then Fleur would leave, and she reluctantly admitted to herself that she didn't want that. Not waking her would save her the trouble of trying to ask, and sounding like she intended to proposition her. At the same time, not waking her would mean that she wouldn't know if Fleur would be okay with it.

But she's already right here, snuggled up to me, sound asleep - She mused.

She was tired as well, to be honest, and collapsing right there did have a nice ring to it. She might as well be a Gryffindor for once in her life, and take a chance. Refusing to overthink it, she waved her wand, and transfigured the couch into what one might very generously call a bed - she went for functionality over fancy looks. She lowered them down, and pulled a blanket over them from the edge of the couch. Laying next to Fleur like that, listening to her breathing, she fell asleep in seconds.

Fleur woke slowly the next morning, fully rested. She didn't remember getting home, nor going to sleep. The bed she lay on felt unfamiliar, and the light hit her face from an unusual angle. She was fairly certain she was still wearing her clothes from the night before, judging by the fabric twisting uncomfortably around her torso. Something shifted in the bed beside her, and an unfamiliar weight came to rest across her stomach.

She listened to her surroundings very carefully before daring to open her eyes. She could hear someone's breathing next to her, and in the distance, she could hear cars zooming by.

I'm still at Hermione's - she realised, and quickly opened her eyes to verify. Light flooded the living room, making it suddenly too bright, and she had to squint to see. She turned her head, and saw a head of chestnut brown curls next to her. Hermione's face was scrunched by the pillow she laid her head on. She quickly identified the weight across her stomach to be Hermione's arm.

She propped her arm under her head, and allowed herself to take in the moment fully. She basked in the feeling of belonging that permeated her, and blocked out the multitude of questions from her mind that threatened to bubble to the surface.

The light hit Hermione's face, and she shifted again, beginning a stretch, but stiffened mid-motion. Fleur suppressed a chuckle, and laid her hand upon Hermione's before she could withdraw it from its place.

"Bonne matin, chérie." she cooed, and turned to face her, bringing their linked hands between them. She had a smile on her face that she couldn't erase if her life depended on it.

"Morning" Hermione mumbled, and lifted her head to look at her. Red lines crossed her cheek where it was crumpled by the pillow, and a pretty blush was starting to spread across her face. She smiled shyly.

She looks perfect, Fleur found herself thinking, and found it nearly impossible not to lean closer and feel her against her lips. She just about managed by hugging their interlocked hands to her chest instead.

"Did you sleep well?"

"I think I haven't slept this well in my life, if I'm honest" said Hermione "You?"

"Mm, about the same I think. I'm famished, however." She offered as a segue to sidestep having to talk about how they got in this situation. Her statement was punctuated by a rumble of her stomach, and they both shared a laugh. After they quieted down, there was an intense, loaded silence between them, as they looked at each other, acutely aware now that they were sharing a bed.

"It's infuriating how perfect you look, even just having woken up, your hair isn't even tangled." Hermione said in a lighthearted tone "Veela genes, I swear."

"Well, I'm not complaining about the view either." Fleur countered, which made Hermione laugh again

"Bah, Flatterer! Sucking up to the host, I see?"

"Another vested interest of mine, I'm afraid."

Hermione looked at her with a soft expression for a moment before sitting up. She freed her hand from Fleur's, and swept a few strands of silvery-blonde hair behind her ear carefully. Her fingers lingered in Fleur's hair, as if forgotten, while she surveyed her.

"You go freshen up, I'll get breakfast started. Wouldn't want you to starve on my watch." She said, and in the next moment, she was already in the kitchen, pulling out pots and pans, and loading things from the fridge onto the counter.

After breakfast, and a lazy morning spent with talking, Fleur reluctantly prepared to leave. After she put her coat and shoes on, Hermione gravitated closer to say goodbye.

"You have everything?"

"Oui. Thank you, again, for a lovely time. We should definitely do it again."

Hermione did a horrible job of hiding her smile as she replied.

"Hoping to see the end of the movie?" She teased

"Peut-être, but I don't think either of us mind that I missed it." Fleur countered, and stepped closer to Hermione. "I certainly don't, although I am sorry if it made me appear as though I don't care for the adventures of Ms. Croft."

"I think the benefits outweigh the negatives this time. You're off the hook. Although you might want to bring some pajamas over for next time."

"Hermione! Are you setting me up for failure?" Fleur asked with mock indignation

They both chuckled. Hermione leaned against the wall, and absent mindedly fiddled with a button on Fleur's coat, prolonging the moment.

"I thought, even if we do finish watching the movie… if you wanted to, you could stay over, maybe on a weekend?"

Fleur looked at her, not quite daring to believe her ears. A smile blossomed on her face, and she felt a faint tug in her chest, a stumble of a heartbeat. There was a change in the air. They stood close together, closer than an arm's length for sure. She reached out and tugged a strand of hair behind Hermione's ear, and let her hand linger there for a few seconds as they looked each other in the eyes. She licked her suddenly dry lips before she answered.

"I'd love to. Next weekend maybe?"

"Works for me! We'll iron out the details later?"

"Of course."

Fleur leaned in and enveloped Hermione in a gentle hug. She was pleased to feel Hermione putting her arms around her, too. She squeezed Hermione for a few seconds before taking half a step back to look at her, not fully letting go.

"Á bientot, Hermione. Bonne week-end!" She said, and on a whim, leaned in and pecked her on the cheek. She was nothing if not French, after all. At least that's what she told herself.

"Ah, a very nice weekend to you, too!" Hermione managed to say, stumbling over her words a bit.

She gave Hermione's arms one last squeeze, let go, and stepped out the door with a small wave. When she looked back from the top of the stairs, Hermione still stood in the doorway, looking at her with a fond smile. Her heart swelled. She smiled and gave another quick wave before she hopped down the steps.

Filled with energy from her weekend visit, she hit the ground running on Monday, jumping into work with a vigor she hadn't felt in years. She met Hermione on Tuesday for dinner, where they played a rather timid game of footsie while they talked over food, and on Thursday, Hermione introduced her rather teasingly to the concept of cinemas.

"Don't fall asleep this time." She told her with a fond warmness to her voice as they sat down in the soft chairs with drinks and popcorn in hand. Fleur had to admit that she really liked the popcorn, enjoyed the movie, but her favourite part was how Hermione leaned against her to whisper an explanation in her ear about a muggle thing, and forgot herself there.

She also noticed that they were surrounded by an abundance of couples, and allowed herself a secret smile. She wondered if this was what muggles did on dates.

Saturday came sooner than the blink of an eye. Fleur packed an overnight bag with a fluttering feeling in her chest. She had a feeling that something significant was about to happen. With a deep breath in and out, she left the house, and apparated near Hermione's apartment with a soft pop. She had to admit that she was nervous, no matter how much she tried to tell herself it was just another day spent with Hermione. She couldn't settle her nerves, because ever since their evening at the cinema, she couldn't shake the thought of the two of them on a proper date, and she was on the fence about asking her or not. Part of her felt it was way too early, and part of her thought it wasn't soon enough. She shook her head and concentrated on making her way to Hermione's door.

One step at a time. I'll see how the evening goes, she thought.

Hermione greeted her at the door with a tight hug, and they held each other a bit too long, like they were reunited after years apart. As they drew back, Hermione kissed her cheek as a greeting, and looked at her with a shy smile. No doubt she'd wanted to get her back for how she departed from her apartment last weekend. Fleur found herself smiling widely at the thought. Not to be bested, she kissed Hermione's cheek in turn before she made her way into the apartment and took her jacket off.

"How was your meeting with Gethsemane?" She inquired, knowing Hermione went to see her boss yesterday about continuing work.

"She said it took me long enough, among other, very lewd things. I refuse to discuss it." Hermione said with a pretty blush on her face that made Fleur want to know all the details.

"The lewd things, or the meeting entirely?" She teased

"Wouldn't you like to know!" Hermione countered, lightly swatting her shoulder. "She took me back. I start on Monday."

"That's wonderful news!" Fleur said, and gave Hermione a side-hug. Hermione looked at her from the corner of her eyes. A smile played on her lips.

"I'm so ready to return to a desk job." She admitted "Don't get me wrong, I loved seeing the world, it's just - In my heart of hearts, I'm not really that type."

"Then what type are you?"

"I don't really even know anymore. I was hoping you and I could figure it out together."

The answer Hermione gave was so smooth and loaded with hints that it gave Fleur a second of pause before she could think clearly again. A decision was made in the back of her mind about asking for that date.

"Oh? Should we make a list? Par exemple, are you a person who feeds her guests, because I'm starving." She said with a cheeky grin

"You're insufferable." Hermione whined, but moved in the direction of the kitchen all the same.

After dinner, they settled in to finish the end of the movie, and Fleur took the opportunity to settle against Hermione's side. Her would-be pillow gave a curious glance.

"Just getting comfortable." She said with as much innocence as she could muster.

"Scooch in, then." Hermione offered, and lifted her arm. Her look said I know what you're doing, but two can play that game. When Fleur scooted closer, she wrapped her arm around her, and let her hand fall to her hip. Fleur melted into her touch a little too readily, but she was unashamed as she was very comfortable. They sat through the movie like that, barely moving an inch in fear of appearing to be uncomfortable with the other's closeness.

When the credits started rolling, Hermione looked down to see Fleur looking up at her with a soft look in her eyes she didn't yet know how to address.

"So what did you think?"

"I wish I got lucky as much as Ms. Croft does at work. It was interesting, to say the least, especially her attire."

"How do you mean?" Hermione asked teasingly

"Have you seen my work robes? I'm practically covered head to toe. It's as if she's asking for a scraped elbow or knee, and she doesn't even have magic to fix herself up! And even in the tropical heat, you'd need protection against mosquitoes!"

"Hm. Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but that's character design for… every good looking female lead, ever, in the movies."

"So you find her good looking?" Fleur latched on to the expression mercilessly

"I…" Hermione mumbled, her mouth suddenly dry "Well she does have the…" She made vague gestures with her hands in front of her chest before finishing her sentence "The intellect."

Fleur chuckled at Hermione's awful save, and sat up to look at her.

"What did you think?"

"Well, I also think she caught a bit too many lucky breaks, but I always wondered if this is what curse breaking is like."

"Hate to break your spirit, but as I work in reclamation and recovery for Gringotts, my job mainly consists of crawling through mine shafts made for goblins, and dealing with customers who can't trust them. Sadly, no pretty outfit or saving the world, in my line of work."

"Too bad, that…" Hermione sighed, and looked at Fleur with that curious look that Fleur was just figuring out. She hoped it meant longing, or veiled attraction. She let a hopeful smile show on her face.

"I don't even know what you'll be doing at your job. The travelling and field research I could picture, but behind a desk… I know what you do best is research, and you told me about your project, but what needs to be done to make it happen?"

"I'll be in a lot of meetings with lots of old men who know better, and I'll probably fail to make changes short term, but I'm persistent."

"I believe in your cause. Feel free to vent to me about it anytime. I'll be there to listen."

"Thank you" Hermione said, and squeezed her hand. She stifled a tiny yawn, and added "We should get changed for bed. I'm beat."

Fleur agreed, and went to change. She entered Hermione's bedroom clad in her blue satin pajamas with a lace trim, and found her reading on the bed in a white t-shirt and plaid pajama pants. She glanced up when she heard her enter, and a hungry look settled in her eyes.

"Well now I feel positively underdressed" She said breathily, while still not taking her eyes off Fleur

"This was my… most modest set. I can transfigure it into something else if you find it too distracting" Fleur teased. Hermione looked like she wouldn't mind seeing the more revealing sets later on. It made Fleur's chest flutter, and fill with a nervous anticipation.

"Nonsense. Come on in, unless you'd rather stay out on the couch. I can transfigure it for you."

Fleur shook her head and made her way in. She settled under the covers next to Hermione, and threw an arm around her torso.

"This is much better." She murmured against her neck. Hermione chuckled.

"You know, I haven't had that many sleepovers growing up. Is this how it usually goes?" She asked as she put her book down and wiggled under the covers. She switched off the lamp on the bedside table as she laid down, as close as she could to Fleur.

"Oh, the best ones usually do." Fleur said mischievously as she slid a leg over to rest between Hermione's legs. She heard her breath hitch, and felt her body tense a tiny bit.

"Fleur" She breathed, a throaty, beautiful sound to Fleur's ears

"Am I making you uncomfortable?" Fleur made to withdraw herself, but was stopped by Hermione's hand on her forearm. She shifted her position to face Fleur.

"Quite the contrary. But it's difficult to think straight with you all over me - in a good way, of course. I find I'm not that sleepy anymore."

Fleur's heartbeat quickened at the words, and she felt like this was her moment to ask. She wouldn't get a sign clearer than this. She carefully extricated her leg from its place and drew back from their embrace a little.

"As glad as I am to hear that, you'll need all your wits about you to answer my next question."

She could hear Hermione swallow hard, and saw her prop herself up on her elbow to see her better.

"Ask away." She said, her voice warm and playful

"Would you go on a proper date with me? I felt there was something more between us this past week, and I'd love to explore it if you're willing. If not, I'm happy to wait."

"I felt it, too." Hermione answered, and Fleur saw her reach out in the dark, and felt her stroke her fingers along her jawline softly. She was silhouetted by the light of a street lamp, and her eyes glinted in the dark. "I'd love to go on a date with you, Fleur." She whispered finally, and laid back on the bed, still facing Fleur.

"Are you sure you're ready?"

"Yes. You're very hard to resist, you know - but it's different from before… I feel… I feel more like myself than ever. Free."

Her fingers explored further across the side of Fleur's long, elegant neck, across her collarbone, and along her shoulder. Fleur found she could relate to Hermione's earlier sentiment - she could hardly hold onto a coherent line of thought while she was going on like this. She shuffled closer to Hermione and embraced her, pressing her body fully against hers. Hermione's hand travelled along to her shoulder blades, and up along her neck, which made her shiver involuntarily. She felt Hermione's hand pause at the base of her skull, her fingers tangled in her silvery blonde hair.

"Everything okay?" She asked, voice low, but full of concern

She shuffled closer to Hermione, and snaked an arm around her, resting her head in the spot where her shoulder meets the base of her neck.

"Your fingers are quite… distracting, in a good way. I wouldn't want to lose control of myself." She whispered against her skin, grateful for the darkness enveloping them.

Hermione let out a quiet Oh, and stopped her ministrations, opting instead to embrace her and tuck her even closer.

"So… sleep, for now?"

"If only I was still sleepy- " Fleur said in a husky tone. "But yes. Talk in the morning?"

"Sure. We need to find a date for our rendez-vous. I can't wait." Hermione said, and Fleur could hear a smile in her voice

"Bonne nuit, chérie"

"Sweet dreams, Fleur"

They settled down with their bodies tangled together, and fell asleep shortly.

When Hermione asked Fleur about what she should wear for their date, all she was willing to divulge was "something elegant, but comfortable". She wouldn't tell Hermione where they would be going, but assured her they wouldn't be doing anything dangerous - although she did add most likely under her breath. Hermione felt entirely out of her depth - she had never had a date her entire life, as she refused to count the yule ball as such. She didn't have any idea what to expect, what to wear. She also found any material on the subject next to useless, as no article seemed to discuss what two women did on a date together. She nearly worked herself into a fit over miniscule things such as who would open doors for the other before she managed to remember that in the grand scheme of things, this wasn't the most important.

Their previous acquaintance notwithstanding, she did want to impress her. This date marked their relationship entering a new chapter, and she wanted to make a good impression as… her date? Romantic interest? Girlfriend? Partner? Mate?

Her heart raced at the thought. It was one thing to play at flirting with Fleur behind closed doors, in the safe darkness of night where nobody saw them, and another thing entirely to take that out in the open. Hermione did want to reconcile the two, but she wasn't blind to the ugliness of the world. She didn't think she was strong enough yet to just let any atrocities roll off her back. Such a precious night shouldn't be ruined by jeers and dirty looks. She wanted desperately for the date to go well, but her insecurities reared their ugly head.

Besides, she thought, She's gorgeous, and I'm just a plain jane. Arrogant, pushy, selfish, with a boring job. She'll see me be ridiculously clueless and realise I'm no good for her and call it off. Nobody would ever accept us anyway. We'll have to go back to meeting only once a year, and I'll grow old all alone without friends because I fucked everything up. I'll have to spend the rest of my life in my own, personal hell.

Before she could realise what was happening, she was already curled into a tight ball with her back to the wall, hyperventilating. More and more increasingly venomous thoughts ran through her head as she desperately tried to get a grip and calm down. She was getting dizzy from all the air she was sucking in. She felt like she was about to die, there and then, on the floor, and she wished somebody was there so she wouldn't have to be alone. With a pitiful hiccough, she started weeping, rocking herself back and forth in a repetitive motion. She quickly abandoned any attempt at movement, though, as the rhythmic swaying reminded her of the ebb and flow of waves, and she started freaking out about something else entirely.

I'm a pathetic, attention seeking, needy little girl, who couldn't even protect one person from myself. All I had to do was stay away, but I'm weak and selfish and I will ruin her. I better call the whole thing off before I do more damage.

With Determination, Deliberation, and a Destination in mind, she grabbed her wand in a white knuckled grip, and apparated straight from her apartment floor to Fleur's front door with a crack as loud as a clap of thunder. She didn't even bother knocking, she just turned the handle on the door and rushed in. Fleur was in the process of making a cup of tea in the kitchen, and froze mid motion of lifting the teabag out of her mug as she saw Hermione enter.

"I thought we weren't meeting today… by Merlin, 'Ermione, what happened to you?"

Hermione didn't even bother explaining - she was sure her tear stained, puffy face, and her pajamas spoke for themselves. She just rushed forward, and slammed into Fleur's body with the grace of a bag of bricks, but Fleur was there, wonderfully solid, warm, and real, and she held her as she wept and shook with sobs and clawed at her back and bunched her shirt up in her fists.

"I- I- I don't want to lose you-" She got out between heavy sobs

"'Ermione, what are 'ou talking about? What 'appened? Are 'ou 'urt?" Fleur asked, her voice laced with worry

Hermione shook her head. She knew she wasn't making sense - this wasn't what she wanted to say, she came here for a reason, and she shouldn't back down, but… but…

"I- Fleur... I- I- I need to-"

The words were just not coming out. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't make herself say them.

"What do 'ou need? Can I 'elp? 'Ermione, talk to me, please."

"I- I can't-"

Selfish.

"Sssh, it's alright, just slow your breathing. In and out. In and out. In… Out." Fleur said, and she started rubbing slow circles into her back. Hermione breathed with her for what seemed like an eternity before she got her crying under control. She felt the dread seeping under her skin as she quieted down.

"I'm sorry, I'll just… I'm sorry for disturbing your evening alone, I'll just go and… I'm sorry."

She tried to extricate herself from Fleur's arms, suddenly lucid and embarrassed, but Fleur held her tight.

"Désolé, ma chérie, but I won't let you go when you're in a state like this."

"I'm… I'm sorry, I thought I was okay but I'm not, I'm not ready, I'm not…" She buried herself even deeper into Fleur's shirt, grasping the front of it in an iron grip as she began crying again.

"'Ermione, is this about your…" Fleur trailed off, unsure about what word to use, but Hermione found herself nodding vigorously. She was mortified, and felt so small, one wrong word from Fleur could shatter her.

"I'm a horrible garbage person and I ruined your life." She cried, her voice breaking pitifully.

"Ssh, don't talk like that. You did no such thing. You're not garbage. You're my person, Hermione, and you're precious to me."

Fleur's kind words did nothing to stop her tears. If anything, she cried even harder, for she felt undeserving of it all.

"'Ermione, what brought this on? Did something happen?"

"I freaked out- I- You wouldn't tell me where we would be going, and I didn't know how to prepare, because I've never been on a date, or a date with a woman, and there would be people, judging, seeing us, and I'm not pretty enough for you, and I'm horrible, and all of this is so new, and I started thinking that this was a terrible idea, because you'd just see I'm not your type and you'd just leave, except you couldn't, because I trapped you, and I really should just… k- ki- kill myself."

She felt Fleur's body tense at her last words, but she only paused in rubbing circles on her back for a fraction of a second before resuming with more pressure. Hermione didn't want to look up. She didn't want to see the pity and disgust that was surely on Fleur's face by now. She felt herself be guided to the couch, and a steaming mug of tea was placed somewhere near her. Fleur's arms never moved from around her, keeping her in a safe cocoon.

"Do you usually think that? That you should..." She asked, her voice full of pain and concern

"No, no… I thought I was okay. I had a few nightmares, but… but I was doing better. I thought… but I freaked out, and it all came right back… I'm sorry, I don't want to bother you with this."

"Hermione, please look at me." Fleur asked her gently, and when she didn't comply, she grabbed her shoulders and turned her to look at her face.

"Hermione, I want you to promise me something. I want you to promise me not to hesitate to come over when you feel like this. I want you to tell me how you feel so I can help you. I want you to come and tell me everything about it that you can, because I want to be here every time, and tell you that you are a wonderful person, who I cherish very much, and you've made me the happiest I've been in a very long time in these short few weeks we've been getting to know each other. I want you to be a part of my life. You are not a bother, nor a burden to me. I am choosing to be here, to be with you. Do you understand me?"

Hermione gave an almost inaudible yes before she collapsed against Fleur, encircling her torso with her arms, and hiding her face in her shirt. She felt Fleur stroke her hair soothingly with slow movements, and began to calm down. Fleur wanted her around, and appreciated her as a person. She tried to commit it to memory. To make herself accept it.

"We don't have to go on the date tomorrow if you don't feel ready - if it brought this on - we can forget about it. I meant what I said on Saturday. I can wait as long as you need."

Slowly, and with tremendous effort, Hermione straightened up, but captured one of Fleur's hands in hers, and held it tightly. Fleur matched her strength and squeezed back.

"I still want to, just… maybe not tomorrow, after the night I… we had. If that's okay? I don't do well with surprises anymore, it seems."

"Of course it's okay. Whenever you feel ready. And we can pick something together, sounds good?"

"Thank you. It sounds perfect." She replied with a watery smile

"Just tell me if it no longer does, okay? I want us both to have a wonderful time."

"Thank you, Fleur, for… being so understanding. I… You're wonderful."

"And one more thing. I want you to know, no matter who sees, no matter what anyone else says, it won't make me run, okay? You're the same person whether we're in here, or out in public. And I'm the same person, too. You don't have to fear that I'll suddenly change my mind because somebody has an opinion on us. It's not anybody else's business but our's. Okay?"

Hermione nodded her understanding, not trusting her voice for the moment. She had Fleur's hand in a death grip, as to convey her gratitude, but Fleur didn't seem to mind. She just squeezed back.

They sat there for a moment, and were only disturbed by the wall clock giving a soft chime. Hermione glanced at it to see it had just struck midnight. Fleur didn't even move her eyes to look at it before she started talking again.

"It's pretty late. Do you maybe want to stay the night? I'd feel terrible if you left without a proper amount of hugs."

"Are you sure I'm not imposing?" Hermione asked, but her mind was already half settled on staying.

"You couldn't if you tried" Fleur reassured her.

When they were already settled in bed, Fleur in her most modest pajamas, and Hermione in the pajamas she very conveniently arrived in, she felt all the built up tension leave her body. She felt warm and safe tucked in next to Fleur. She felt Fleur's arms around her, soothingly stroking her back, solid and grounding, a testament of being needed, being wanted here. She grew soft and pliable under her touch, luxuriating in the balm that her attention was to her anxious mind. Her worries about the two of them seemed nonsensical and far away. She felt them vanish like a breath from a window pane. She sighed, and shuffled closer.

"Fleur?"

"Oui?" Fleur answered her sleepily

"Thank you for this."

"Anytime, Hermione." She pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, and left her lips linger there as they held each other. "Try and sleep, yeah? I'll be here the whole time. I'm not going anywhere."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure"

"Not even for the loo?" Hermione asked at a weak attempt to lighten the mood

"Mm, non. Maybe I'll have to take you with me." Fleur replied cheekily

"Gross." Hermione chuckled in response

"Kidding. Goodnight, Hermione."

"Sweet dreams, Fleur."