The 100 Girlfriends Who Really, Really, Really, Really Love You is the creation and intellectual property of Nakamura Rikito, Nozawa Yukiko and Shueisha.
All other characters and franchises mentioned in this story are the intellectual properties of their respective copyright and trademark holders.
Special thanks to Darkenning.
"You're wrong," Hasegawa Chisame told Kakizaki Misa. "As a matter of fact, I've been confessed to by a guy once."
Negi Springfield and Tsunetsuki Matoi stopped eating immediately, and their heads sprang up to stare silently at Chisame. Not so silently in Matoi's case as a shrill JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII began emanating from her.
Chisame rasped quickly. "I rejected him, of course! The guy was a real loser! It was last year..."
Chisame looked at the lover letter just placed in her hands and winced.
"N-No!" she said, shoving it back at the black haired boy, two years her senior. "I can't accept this, Senpai! I don't even know you!"
He looked absolutely crushed, pulling back and staring at her with widened, devastated eyes. "Oh, oh, okay...!"
"He gave up very fast, didn't he?" Shiina Sakurako observed, already finished with the main course and starting with the dessert. "He wasn't trying his best then. It's clear you weren't soulmates."
"No, obviously, they weren't!" Matoi huffed. "What a quitter! What a spineless jellyfish! Not trying and trying, to get the supreme prize that is Chisame-sama...!"
"If he'd done that, you'd be constantly trying to stab him right now!" Chisame growled.
"Oh, that guy?" Misa mused aloud. "Yeah, I think I know what guy you are talking about..."
"No," Misa said bluntly, handing him the perfumed envelope.
"But, but you haven't even opened it...!" the boy whimpered.
"I don't need to, I already have a boyfriend!" Misa said, folding her arms in indignation. "What kind of girl do you take me for?!"
He turned around, a broken shell of a man, and began walking away.
"Oh, so he doesn't have money," Kugimiya Madoka said while starting with her own pudding.
"How can you deduce that from such a short story?" Morisato Keiichi-senpai asked.
"I'd have accepted him and dumped Taisuke if he'd been wealthy," Misa said matter-of-factly.
"That, that's the kind of thing someone else should be saying only for you to protest!" Itoshiki Nozomu-sensei argued.
Sitting by his side, Kaga Ai sighed sadly. "Ah, y-yes! I'm sorry to admit I also did a very bad thing by breaking his heart! A few months ago, shortly before I learned about magic, he approached me as well..."
"I'm sorry, whoever you were!" Ai yelled, raising her hands much like her beloved teacher. "I was a dirty liar myself! I told you that just because I didn't like you! I'm in despair! Being a liar who hides behind false concerns for others has left me in despair!"
Then she looked at Itoshiki and sobbed. "I'm sorry I stole your routine, too!"
He sighed. "Think nothing of that, but please don't make a habit of it..."
Kagurazaka Asuna rolled her mismatched eyes. "Ah, yes, that guy..."
"Did he propose to you as well, Asuna-san?" Sakurazaki Setsuna asked. "I hope you were mindful of his feelings. Casanova or not, it sounds like he always was respectful in his proposals and never pushed the matter after being rejected, and your temper can get the best of you at times, so-"
"Nah, it wasn't me," Asuna cut Setsuna's latest lecture short. "He proposed to Konoka."
Setsuna's eyes instantly flashed crimson. "You better kicked that fiend's ass hard..." she growled from the bottom of her throat.
"Setchan!" Konoe Konoka chided her. "Stop stereotyping Asuna like that! She's not my enforcer gorilla or anything like that!" She daintily picked her cup of tea up and sipped elegantly. "I can handle myself just fine. I kicked his ass myself."
"That's my Ojou-sama," Setsuna approved, relieved.
"He sounds like a chronic womanizer," Saber said with disgust, refilling her bowl of rice for the third straight time. "What a pitiful existence."
Somewhere in the Throne of Heroes, Gawain and Lancelot sneezed.
"Actually, I didn't feel he was bad when I rejectionated him," Suzushiro Haruka shared. "It's just that, well, there's something about him that is kind of repulsive, don't you think? There's something about him that tells you 'No, this guy couldn't ever possibly be' and makes you want to shove him away."
"Maybe that was Yukino-senpai standing behind you and whispering those words in your ear," Saotome Haruna guessed.
Haruka shrugged. "That might be it, but you felt it too, didn't you?"
"Yeah, well, I did," Haruna admitted.
Inugami Kotaro gasped loudly. "Four Eyes didn't give him the time of the day?! He must be damn hideous then!"
Yuuki Rito scowled and slapped the back of Kotaro's head. "What are you insinuating about Haruna-chan, you brat?!"
"No, no, he isn't bad looking either," Yukihiro Ayaka pondered calmly. "He doesn't look any worse than Morisato-senpai or Rito-san, and he's certainly polite and kind enough. But-"
"But he isn't a child, so you weren't interested," Asuna said rather correctly.
"Shut up, you!"
"What is that... young gentleman's name?" Negi asked. "It sounds like I should be aware of his activities, in the event any overzealous girl ever attacks him, or an offended boyfriend goes after him."
"Or girlfriend," Hakase Satomi pointed out.
"Right," Negi nodded. "I mean, if from our team alone, he's approached Chisame, Ai-san, Konoka-san, Iinchou, Haruna-san, Haruka-san and Misa-san, who knows how many others he has tried to romance?"
Chachamaru rasped very quietly while refilling Saber's bowl for her.
Satomi grew agitated in a second. "You too, Chachamaru?! Why didn't you ever tell me?!"
"His name is Aijo Rentarou," Chachamaru said very quietly. "I'm sorry, Mother, I was just created back then, and I hadn't yet fully assimilated my safety report protocols..."
"He proposed to you when you were still a newborn...!" an apoplectic Hakase cried.
"He had no way of knowing that..."
Misa hummed. "Rentarou, right. That's his name! I had forgotten. He's kind of forgettable like that. I wonder what is he doing now...?"
The 108 Girlfriends who Really, Like Really, I mean it, Man, Really Love You, Dude.
Chapter One: Wait, Weren't They Supposed to be 100?
The young man knelt before the altar, brought his hands together, closed his eyes, and breathed deeply.
"O Goddess of Love," he prayed. "Please, end my suffering. Allow me to know love at last..."
The temple was deserted at this time of the day, but for him and a shrine maiden sitting on the lower steps leading to the altar. She was very young, probably thirteen years old, and had red hair arranged in four pigtails that gave the impression of having an octopus sitting on her hair. Although wearing the red hakama and white robe shirt of a priestess on duty, she had set her bamboo broom aside and was currently watching soap operas on athe portable TV.
"I'm sorry, Yamazaki-san!" a woman sobbed. "I'm so sorry! We can't be together because we... because we're siblings!"
"No! You're wrong, Mika-san!" a man declared melodramatically. "We aren't siblings... because my real father is Nabeshin, the Man from the Stars!"
"Wow, what a plot twist," said the small miko, apathetically munching on chips from a Kira Poofs bag. "Who could've seen it coming..."
The young man sighed and kept on praying. "Since my earliest childhood, I've had this sensation of missing something. There's a huge feeling of absence in my heart, and it only grows bigger over time. I can't-"
"Would you terribly mind keeping it low?!" the girl said from below. "I'm trying to pay attention here!"
"This is the voice of my soul speaking!" he protested.
"Tell your soul to speak lower then!" the girl scolded him. "You do this every weekend, what makes you think it'll be any different now?!"
The boy groaned to himself and resumed praying. "Please, please, please! I won't bother you anymore if you hear my plea! It's not a big deal for you, right? You're the goddess of love with almost unlimited power! This can't be difficult at all for you...!"
"Geez, right when she was about to stab him!" the girl growled, as her screen began filling with static. She began changing the channels back and forth. "C'mon, c'mon! I told Oneesama we should've contracted Netflix, this never happens with Netflix...!"
And then there was a large flash of light that somehow pushed the girl back, dropping her at the edge of the step. She helped herself back up, blinking many times, and the boy also looked down, only to gasp in terror at the sight of a pair of long, lean, tanned female legs coming out of the television set.
"NANI SORE?!" he screamed, and somewhere in Honnouji Academy, Jakuzure Nonon sneezed. A full woman, shapely and curvaceous, with dark skin and long white hair, unmistakably youthful and vital but with the MILF aura of a mature temptress, pulled herself out of the set wearing a skimpy black minidress and high heeled shoes. "Poltergeist?!"
The woman stood over the wearily sighing miko, dusting herself off. "Okay, if the Dark Agency sent you, please give me a sec to transform," the miko told her. "Hey, you, Loser!" she called upwards. "Think nothing of what'll happen next! We're filming a student movie!"
"Actually, I'm not here for you, but him," the tanned female said. "You're Shiho-chan, right? You know Skuld-chan, don't you?"
"Yeah..."
"Right. I thought so. Well, keep doing those things you're doing. I root for you and Tate, you know."
The miko nodded blandly. "That's good to know." She grew more interested. "Hey, can you give me an amulet or something that-?"
"Sorry, I told you I came for him!" the gorgeous woman said, merrily skipping upwards to stand before the paralyzed, huge eyed boy. "How do you do, I'm Urd, the goddess of love you were praying to! Pleased to meet you, Aijo Rentarou! Sorry, I guess I stalled this way too long!"
"Huh?!" Rentarou intelligently said.
Urd nodded. "You'll see, those love problems you've been having so far? I guess they're my fault, somewhat. See, in this world, there are two types of romantic love, that which has to be earned through hard work and constant pursuit, like the task and a half Shiho-chan has ahead of herself. That's the most common kind of passion by far."
"It wouldn't be so difficult if the wonderful goddess I have devoted myself to so much graciously gifted me with an amulet or charm to ensure my happiness as a reward for my hard work," Shiho said, having caught up to her and bowing.
Urd frowned, ran a finger over the altar, and presented its dust covered tip to her. "Sorry, sister, but you're on your own! Now listen, Rentarou-kun, the second kind, that is the special kind you'll see in sappy love novels and movies, the rare and valuable 'love at first sight', not to be confused by mere infatuations. Are you okay? You look a bit pale."
"You're a goddess who just popped outta a TV to address me directly!" Rentarou panicked. "Why aren't you flipping at this, is this a frequent sight to you?!" he demanded of Shiho.
"I've seen some shit," Shiho grumpily told him. Then she glared at Urd. "I'd hoped you'd be better than Skuld!"
"For that, you want Belldandy," Urd wagged a finger at her before continuing to talk to Rentarou. "Don't hold this against me, kiddo, but the day I had to calibrate the red thread of Fate linking you to your soulmate, I was distracted by an important matter..."
"You were drunk?" Shiho guessed.
Urd stared at her angrily.
"Skuld's told me about you," Shiho summed up.
Urd threw her hands up. "I was just slightly tipsy, okay?! I've got every right to make my job easier every now and then! Anyway, after it was decided that you'd be one of those lucky souls with a Love-at-First-Sight soulmate somewhere, I kind of accidentally added two cyphers to the number of soulmates you'd have while punching the stats in..."
"I have no idea whatsoever what you are talking about," Rentarou confessed, his eyes now tiny.
Urd sighed irritably as Shiho shook her head. She grabbed the yelping miko by the back of the head and made her look into the boy's eyes. "Shiho-chan! What do you feel now?!"
"Disgust!" Shiho said without a hesitation. Rentarou flinched at the all too familiar admission.
"Precisely!" Urd let go of her. "Our Yggdrasil System, controlling the fates of humans, has to maintain the balance of luck in the world. So, since you were granted the boon of one hundred eight soulmates, you had to compensate by having terrible luck at love otherwise. But since enough time has passed without us correcting that error, it's time now to address it. I'm here to notify you that you'll start meeting your intended soulmates tomorrow."
"... 108?!" the boy squealed after a very long pause. "You really are filming a movie, right?! Or is this the Candid Camera webshow?!"
"You just saw her coming out of a TV barely bigger than my fist, Senpai," Shiho snorted.
"You can do all kinds of amazing feats with CGI nowadays!" Rentarou argued.
Urd frowned and slapped him across the head. "Stop drinking the officially mandated Kool-Aid already, son! Sheesh, no wonder the Mystery is in decline...!"
Rentarou grumbled and rubbed the new bump on his head. "Okay, okay, I'll believe you! Sorry, Ma'am, I guess I should be thankful... or not! Look, I know I asked for better luck at love, but 108 is too much!"
Urd rolled her eyes back. "Just like a man, right? Once they get what they want, they start having second thoughts and complaining!"
Shiho nodded. "And they have the galls to call us complicated creatures!"
"I'm just stating the obvious, sorry!" the boy said. "If I understood you correctly, I've been made the soulmate to 108 different girls..."
"I never said that they'd be all girls," Urd cautioned.
Rentarou paled horribly.
"But for all I know, they could all be," Urd shrugged. "Finding out is part of the fun."
"You don't know who did you bind me to?!" the young man screamed.
"I was a bit tipsy, remember?"
"That, that goes beyond being just a bit drowsy!" Rentarou cried. "How am I supposed to decide out of 108 different people and break 107 hearts?! I'll be even more hated than before!"
"Look at the kind side, you're unlikely to ever meet all of them," Shiho said. "Many spend a whole lifetime without ever meeting their soulmates."
"No, that's just a saying," Urd informed them. "If you're a special soul bound by the red thread, you're destined to meet the terminal at the other end of it. You'll meet all of them sooner or later."
Rentarou took both hands to his head. "So I have to reject 107 people after all...! How could I do that to so many?!"
"Well, yeah, there's another thing," Urd rubbed the back of her neck uneasily, a gesture she'd picked up from Keiichi without noticing. "Being rejected by your soulmate drains your existence of the good karma and fortune you were granted, so if you reject them, they'll eventually die in misery and suffering, most probably in freak accidents and... have you watched the Final Destination movies? Something like that, those are their odds."
Rentarou and Shiho stared at her in appalled terror.
Urd lowered her head. "I'm sorry this all happened because of me. I'll try to help by-"
Shiho threw a sandal at Urd's head. Hard.
"Why are you wearing those stupid glasses?" his roommate asked him as they walked towards Monday morning classes.
"I don't want to make eye contact with any girl today," Rentarou confessed.
Saruyama Kenichi raised an eyebrow. "Oh, so you finally got burned? Look, man, I understand, but you can't just give up on women forever. What are you gonna do, become a monk?"
"Maybe," Rentarou said. If he did that, perhaps he could ask the gods to spare his soulmates, whoever they were. He'd just devote himself to celibacy the way he'd devoted himself to finding a girlfriend, and surely, the divine beings would understand...
"Okay, even if you say that," Saruyama argued, "why are you worrying about running into girls? We study in the male wing, dummy!"
"Just in case," Rentarou mumbled, remembering Urd's 'I never said anything about them being only women' speech from yesterday. The last thing he wanted, after causing someone's death, was having a man falling in love with him. Well, other than Chris Hemsworth, but could anyone blame him?
"You're paranoid, not even Rito's got it that bad. Hey, Rito!" Saruyama waved at an orange boy also heading their way. "Get a load of this, Rentarou snapped so bad he doesn't even want to look at girls anymore!"
Rentarou blushed. "Please, not so loud...!"
Yuuki Rito looked back at his incoming classmates. He remembered the conversation about Aijo taking place yesterday in Evangeline's resort, the one where he'd chosen not to mention anything about studying with that boy. "Huh? Oh, hey, guys. You know Sensei will give you a hard time over those, right, Aijo?"
Rentarou flinched and pushed the obscuring sunglasses up his face. "I'll tell him I'm hurt in the eyes, I don't know, I'll make something up!"
"What brought this along?" Rito asked, the three walking together now.
Saruyama laughed. "Man, a lucky dog with two hotties like you wouldn't understand! It's obvious Rentarou would crack sooner or later, but I'm telling him that he should keep his chin high! Someday his big chance will come along!"
Rentarou was thinking of how to tell them that was exactly what worried him, when a much younger girl, far from her Elementary School grounds, came running by, making him shudder. "Rito, Rito!" she called out, holding a small bag in a hand. "You forgot your lunch at home!"
Rito blinked. "Oi, Mikan!" He looked into his schoolbag. "Dammit, that's right! Sorry you had to come all the way here..."
"Honestly, where is your head?" the little girl with the pineapple hairstyle chided him, handing him the bagged bento. "Please be more careful, I had to convince Nao not to eat it herself..."
Seeing a terrified Rentarou step back from Mikan, Saruyama frowned and yanked his sunglasses off. "Oh, for the love of-! It's just a kid, man!"
"N-No!" Rentarou gasped, trying to get them back. "Give me that, I'm telling you, I need them...!"
Mikan looked at him, distracted by his voice. "Huh? What's the problem?"
Rentarou froze in place as she looked at his face curiously.
He couldn't help but look back, despite himself.
Their eyes met.
Time seemed to stop for a moment.
And then...
Nothing.
Nothing happened.
Somewhere in Mundus Magicus, Roronoa Zoro sneezed.
Mikan blinked and frowned. "So...?" she said.
"Nothing," Rentarou sighed with relief, taking his glasses back and putting them on. "I'm just a bit jumpy today, that's all."
"Huh, all right, sorry I asked. See you later, Senpais." Then she favored her older brother with a sweet smile. "I'll cook your favorite stew tonight, Rito!" she promised before leaving, feeling rather happy she had, all in all, lucked in when assigned a brother. It could have been much worse.
"Thank you, Mikan! Bye...!" Rito waved at her, then scowled at Rentarou. "Look, I don't know what's going on with you, but my sister's off limits forever, got that?!"
"Yes... and good thing, too..." Rentarou nodded.
Saruyama thought that was kind of lame as an answer. Himself, he wouldn't mind getting a crack at Mikan-chan in a few yea-
That's odd, Saruyama thought as he regained consciousness and rose unsteadily from the ground that he'd just been punched face-first into. I wonder what just happened, he continued to think, not knowing how readily his face revealed what he was thinking at any given moment.
Later that day, in classes, Rentarou panicked again.
"Your sensei's been diagnosed with that new terrifying civilization threatening new virus today and will be taking a leave of absence for a few weeks!" Fujimura Taiga commented casually, appearing at the head of the class much to Rentarou's horror. "In the meanwhile, I'll be teaching you homeroom since I had a few free hours left! So you'd better make that extra effort worth it, or else!"
Rentarou tried to melt under his seat as discreetly as he could, failed, and wondered why it looked so easy in Western anime.
"You all know me, I'm Fujimura Taiga, and I have no patience for lack of discipline or-" Then, suddenly, she stalked over to Aijo's seat quickly and seethed down at him, like a furious tiger. "Violations of the school dress code, no matter how minor they seem!"
She yanked the sunglasses off Rentarou's face, making him scream girlishly. "This kind of delinquent glasses is a no-no indoors, boy! Who do you think you are, Harima Kenji?!"
"No! No!" Rentarou said, trying to block his eyes with a forearm as all other students, including Yuuki, Saruyama and Ren, stared at him in mild disgust. "Please, Sensei, I need those! I have a weird eye condition! They call it the Medusa Syndrome! For everyone's best, I shouldn't-!"
"Then why aren't you with the school nurse!" Taiga roared, grabbing him by the chin and forcing him to look at her face. "Let me see! Why are you crying, for the love of God, aren't you a man?!"
She gazed into his eyes, sternly.
He couldn't help but look back, despite himself.
Their eyes met.
Time seemed to stop for a moment.
And then...
Nothing.
Nothing happened.
Somewhere in Mundus Magicus, Roronoa Zoro sneezed. Again.
Fujimura-sensei dropped him with a sound of annoyance. "Your eyes are fine! These are confiscated because you lied to me!" she declared, sticking the glasses into her breast pocket and walking back to the head of the class.
Once again, Rentarou breathed much easier even as he heard his classmates whisper and snicker among them. Not that it mattered much anyway, since Taiga silenced them fast and started the lessons.
A much more relaxed Rentarou left the classroom hours after, thinking that maybe the goddess- if she was even that and wasn't just someone filming a movie after all- had fixed things through the day, or maybe she'd just been mistaken about his condition from the start.
He whistled as he left the classroom behind, Taiga barking at Saruyama and Rito, who were cleaning after classes as a punishment for accidentally groping her ass. Thinking about it, being unlucky at love wasn't that bad at all, compared with the chances of ending 107 innocent lives. He wasn't the Joker, for Kami's sake! Many people could lead fruitful lives full of love without ever marrying, like the Pope or, huh... Barney the Dinosaur?
This latest thought made him feel bad again, but he consoled himself by noting how unlikely it was for him to run into any women on his way back to the male dormitories. If Urd-sama's predictions had failed, then everyone around him should be safe. Who knew, maybe he'd even be able to look for his soulmate again with a clear mind.
But he had to stay his course and keep working hard for it. Love wouldn't just stumble into him like in a cheap romantic manga...
Rentarou, with renewed resolve in his heart, turned a corner around, almost leaving the building by this point, and walked facefirst into two girls who'd come to put posters for the School Festival.
"Ow, ow, ow, ow, I'm sorry!" Rentarou said, pulling himself up and offering a hand. "Are you okay... guys...?"
He was looking at what had to be two girls; he had spent a lot of time proposing to girls and he'd learned the hard way how to identify traps, crossdressers and male shapeshifters. He'd parted ways with Clayface on good terms, in case you were wondering.
One of the girls who definitely wasn't a Clayface was curvy and busty, with short light brown hair and a cute flower ornament in it. This one took his still extended hand and thanked him with a soft spoken, warm voice. "Ah, thank you, it's me who should be sorry... This girl here distracted me, I'm afraid..."
The other girl, who was slimmer and much less abundant of chest, had blonde hair arranged in twintails and was shouting a storm already. "I distracted you?! You were the one distracting me because you wanted to come this early! You're so desperate to see men that you... you... I told... you..." she trailed off, staring at Rentarou's face.
The other girl was staring at him as well.
He blushed, overwhelmed by the beauty of both rather different feminine archetypes conveniently featured before him, before the day was over.
Romantic music began sounding softly in the background, from the janitor's office where the man had just turned the radio on while reading To Love Ru obliviously.
Three hearts began beating louder and faster. Somewhere, a goddess smiled.
Rentarou realized this was it. He'd never felt this way before, not when rejected by Hasegawa-san, not when turned down by Kakizaki-san, not while approaching Uruka-chan, and certainly not when wetting his pants at the sight of Stephanie-chan turning in Clayface and then turning him down rather more politely than any of the other girls. It was a wholly different sensation, akin to having a sugar high while being kicked in the spine and being told you have just won seven billion yens in the lottery, all at once.
For a moment, everything else was forgotten and had stopped mattering. He only could think of how cute those two girls were, their small mouths slightly open, their gazes growing mildly vacant. The music hit a nice, subdued jazzy beat. The world was perfect.
And then the buxom girl let herself drop back to the floor, grabbing her foot. "Oooohhh! I'm afraid I have hurt my ankle! Would you please take me to the nurse's office?"
The other girl blinked, as those words seemed to have just snapped her out of her own spell. "Me? Why me? Bitch, just call one of your mom's thugs and tell them to come here and pick you up, I'm not y-"
"I'm talking to the nice gentleman here...!" the first girl said, giving out a strangled gasp and all but throwing herself onto Rentarou's leg, hugging it very tightly. "Oh, I beg you, dear sir, forgive my manners, but I'm rather frail...!"
"Ah, ah, of course, how could I refuse?!" Rentarou quickly helped her up again, supporting her against himself. "I'm a living disaster area! This is the least I could do for you, Miss..."
She sighed while placing her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes. "My name is Hanazono Hakari... Please let's go slowly, step by step, as I don't think I can move quickly like this..."
The other girl stared in shocked stupor, and then her mouth contracted into a terrible, teeth showing grimace, her face turning crimson and steam blowing out of her ears. She quickly let herself fall as well and shouted, "Hanazono, you weak pussy! Always depending on others! Look at me! I've splintered my leg and I'm not begging for any help!"
Rentarou panicked further, now looking at her again. "Ah?! You too?!"
"What, what is that to you?" the blonde huffed, looking aside. "First you ram into me with violent intent and now you feign concern?! Screw your help, I can drag myself to the nurse's office myself!"
Hakari nodded. "She's right, dear mister, we don't have to worry about her. She is strong as a bull, and nearly as smart..."
"No, please don't say that!" Rentarou told her, using the hand that wasn't holding her to grab the blonde's own hand and pull her up as well, delicately. The blonde's blush grew a softer shade of red, almost pink, but no less bright than before. "You're absolutely correct, I was only thinking of myself, oblivious to everything, and it's my fault you're hurt now..."
The blonde blinked, being held against him as well, opposite a pouting Hakari. "Ah, ah, yeah, well, you're right, but th-this isn't really necessary, I told you, it's not like I want your help or anything..."
"I'm Aijo Rentarou," he said, starting to move with them towards Mikado-sensei's office. "Please tell me if I'm moving in a way that is too brusque for you."
"I am... Inda Karane," the blonde said. "High School 1-D, we were here to put some posters..."
"We're doing an animal coffee for the Festival, you, of course, are welcome to visit us," Hakari said eagerly. "I'll reward y-your helpfulness giving you a free ticket..."
"Only one?! You've got money pouring outta your ears and you're only giving him one?!" Karane growled, reaching into a pocket and slamming two tickets on Rentarou's face. "What a cheapskate! You make me sick!"
Hakari frowned. The tickets slipped down Rentarou's face, and since he couldn't let go of the girls without making them fall- or so he thought at least- he had to catch them between his teeth, clenching a stifled, "Thaffk yyuh."
"Don't be like that, Karane-san," Hakari said. "For starters, you're troubling Aijo-san more than necessary! You can't be hurt from such a simple incident, you're much stronger than that..."
"Why would I subject myself to this humiliation if I didn't really need to?!" the other girl growled.
Hakari snifled tenderly. "At least show some gratitude to Aijo-san! He's bothering to help your minor injuries with the greatest care, and yet you only treat him rough and rudely!"
"I gave him two tickets already, what am I supposed to do, treat him to dinner?!" Karane snapped, then told Rentarou, "The Chao Bao Zi won't close for an hour, you know that, right? Let's go for a bite after I have my injury looked at, we'll talk about who pays later..."
"Oh, you are incorrigible!" Hakari disapproved. "Don't believe a single word of what she's saying to stray you, Aijo-san!" she said, hugging his arm and pressing her bustline against his body. He hiccuped loudly.
"You're the one straying men away, again!" Karane seethed. "Always using your body to get your way! I'll bet you aren't even hurt at all!"
"I am! It's you who is fine as a fiddle!"
"I'm much worse off than you! You cushioned your fall with those cow udders of yours!"
"As a matter of fact, I'm in great pain, and I feel even worse when you yell at me like that!"
"You wanna talk about pain?! Okay, let's talk about pain! I feel like my damn leg's about to fall, but that's still nothing compared to the pain of hearing you yapping!"
"Pweese don't fffwight..." Rentarou said, still holding the tickets between his teeth. Then Rito and Saruyama appeared around the corner, and both girls tensed up.
Saruyama blinked, coming to a halt. "Ah? What's this? Rentarou, you sly dog! You finally did it...!"
The girls, as one, pulled back and backpedaled in terror, their attention fully on Rito now. "THE PERVERTED BEAST!" they screamed, pointing at him.
Rito sighed miserably. "Here we go again..."
Rentarou blinked as well, looking at the girls, who were both perfectly fine on their feet. "..."
They looked at him, both blushed, and looked down in shame. "..." they said.
Rentarou opened his mouth to speak, gently. "You shouldn't strain yours-"
"I'MSORRYGOTTAGO!" the girls said, and then fled the scene in a terribly embarrassed dash, instantly disappearing from sight past the hallways.
Saruyama stared on stupidly after their trail of dust. "... what the hell's the problem with them?"
Rentarou breathed sadly and spat the tickets onto his own hand. "I'm going to kill them," he said.
Rito raised an eyebrow. "Eh?"
That night, while Saruyama slept, Rentarou sneaked out and sat on the edge of the dormitory's building. He looked through the starry night, towards the female dormitories, and remained silent, clearly troubled.
At one point, a voice startled him. "You already met the first one, didn't you?"
"GAHHH!" he cried, almost losing his balance, but thankfully Urd-sama grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back before he could fall. "W-Where did you come from?!"
"I'm a goddess after all," she handwaved the question. "What's wrong, Rentarou? It didn't work out?"
"No! No, it didn't at all!" he said. "There's two of them, actually!"
"That isn't bad," Urd said, sitting by his side. "It means that you're going to save some time on meeting them right from the start. You began with the right foot!"
He facepalmed. "I hurt them by being clumsy, and now they'll think I'm a weirdo who keeps perverted friends! They must hate me!"
"I see," Urd said blandly. She whipped out a cigarette, a lighter, and began puffing quietly. She had started with the habit as soon as Belldandy had been taken from them.
"How long does that curse take?" Rentarou demanded. "How long do they have left?"
"There's no way to know for sure," Urd said. "It depends on the person, and their life choices. It could be days. It could be years."
Rentarou pointed a finger at her, something that he wouldn't do normally as it would be rude. "You. I know! You'll go with them, and tell them what's happening, they have every right to know the truth..."
"Why don't you tell them yourself?"
"They'd think I'm insane!"
"Well, they'd think the same about me if I told them."
"You can prove you're real! Use your powers! This is your fault, so you owe us that much!"
"I know," Urd sighed. "But it's not that simple. Sure, I could tell them, and prove I'm a goddess, even though I'm not supposed to do that. But it wouldn't help. It's written that your soulmate must love you on the basis of what you are, and you must love them for what they are."
"What does that mean?"
"Rentarou, it won't work if they choose to be your partners just because they'd die otherwise. That's not what love is about. Your mutual love must come from deep within your hearts, and that needs more than the initial spark from the first sight. Love, whether at first sight or earned the harder way, must still be nurtured and raised just the same. If not, they'll still plunge into unhappiness, as they'll be pretty much forced into being with you."
Rentarou slumped, depressed. "Yes. I understand. But that's impossible! What kind of person would accept being in a relationship with 106 others? That's asking for too much from anyone!"
"Love can do anything, as long as it tries enough," Urd said very seriously, writing something on a piece of paper. She smiled and gave it to Rentarou. "I can't help you directly, but these people are experts of sorts on balancing several relationships at once without it turning sour... not yet, at least. They'll be glad to help, even if they don't sound like it at first. Go there tomorrow, after classes, and tell them Skuld's sister sent you."
He looked at the note. "Thank you... I guess. Look, sorry if I sound rude, I appreciate your warnings and explanations, it's just that- Ah?!" he gasped, seeing she wasn't there anymore. His head whipped around wildly in all directions. "She pulled a Batman?!"
And then he saw Urd climbing down the fire escape stairs. "Curses!" the goddess said. "Don't look at me now! You ruin the mystic!"
"Why don't you just teleport away?"
"I need a nearby turned on electric device for that! Or a mirror!"
"Then why don't you just fly away?"
"I could be seen! I'm supposed to keep my presence a secret!"
"Okay, but then why don't you-?"
Urd ignored him and quickly went down the rest of the stairs.
In the quietness of the bedroom she shared with Hakari, Inda Karane searched the Net in silence, cheeks flushed.
"I see..." she said to herself, for no good reason at all other than plot convenience. "So, if I find one of the four leaf clovers that grow around the World Tree and make a wish on it, my confession of love, if I had one, would be guaranteed to succeed..."
Behind her, in the upper bunk of the room, a pair of eyes went open and glowed silently in the dark.
"I mean, it's not like I have anyone to confess anything, and if I did, I still wouldn't believe that nonsense," the blonde kept on monologuing, giving brief little hiccups of excitement, "but all the same, what an interesting useless bit of trivia...! I think I'll go there tomorrow, just to see if people are really dumb enough as to search for those things! Y-Yes, I'll do just that...!"
The eyes glowed brighter, without Karane noticing them.
With a mixture of hope and uncertainty in his heart, Rentarou headed towards the address Urd-sama had given him, after classes were over.
It was fairly far from the campus, downright into the mountain woods, and there were no bus routes taking one there, so he'd been walking for quite a while now. On his way, he passed by the World Tree, and couldn't help taking a look up to admire the majestic beauty of that Mahora landscape titan.
When he did, he came to a grinding halt. He'd just seen two specks crouching by the wide roots of the giant, apparently on their hands and knees, looking through the grass. Instantly, something in his heart told him those were the two girls, Hakari and Karane. Once again, he was overwhelmed by his feelings. Their beauty and charm, even from that far, overcame him, and he dropped all thoughts of heading anywhere but with them, to try and help them as best as he could.
Rentarou quickly moved up the stairs leading to the top of the hillside where the famous Tree rested… only to have a man blocking his way, as if just appeared out of nowhere.
He pulled back by instinct, as this man was carrying a large sword by his side and was wearing some manner of samurai cosplay. This wasn't completely unheard of in Mahora, where cosplayers and people filming strange fantasy movies out in the open weren't an infrequent sight, but after his meeting with Urd-sama, Rentarou had learned not to take such things lightly.
"Jesus!" the boy said, the mild swear taken from that time he'd spent trying to know Sister Shakti better only to fail miserably. "You scared me, Mister!"
The man smiled at him, and thankfully nothing happened when they made eye contact. He was very handsome, almost as much as Chris Hemworth, with his strong yet lean build and his long ponytail, but even so, Rentarou would rather not go there. For real.
"My apologies," he said. "I have been appointed the groundskeeper for this site. Normally, I wouldn't object to mere students to approach the Tree, but I have felt something unusual about you."
Rentarou blinked. "Ah?"
The man hummed, analyzing him with his stoic gaze while stroking his own chin. "I cannot say what is it, and you certainly aren't one of us, but all the same, I can tell you are not normal…"
Rentarou honestly had no idea what to answer. "Do… Do you know Urd-sama?" he asked at last.
"Urd?" The man paused, then shook his head slowly. "No. That name says nothing to me."
Rentarou, inwardly, breathed slightly easier. "Look, I'm just an average, completely normal student, so ordinary that I could star in a light novel or isekai manga, I only need a truck heading my way. Honest. The only unusual things about me are my Love Freak tendencies that have turned me into a campus laughing stock and that my roommate says I should go for therapy, but—"
The man gave a mild gasp. "What an anti-Japanese stance, that of your roommate!" He stepped aside. "Very well. Then I see no reason to stall you any further. Go ahead with whatever you want to do, but be warned that should you attempt to have your way with the fair maidens above, I shall be obligated to intervene and slice you into so many thin pieces. You will see, I may be a heartless wraith, but I despise date rapists."
Rentarou sweatdropped. "I have no idea why you'd call yourself that, but I'm not that kind of man, bye," he said, and quickly moved past the weirdo.
Assassin sighed and sat down on the steps. "Now I'm glad I never got to attend school in my lifetime…"
"Why don't you move elsewhere?" Karane was telling Hakari angrily as both girls kept on rummaging through the grass. "You are ruining my search for truffles!"
Hakari groaned in mild annoyance, unearthing another truffle by accident and tossing it at Karane's face. "You can have this one too! Just remember, any and all four leaf clovers are mine!"
"As if! Karane cried. "If I find one, why should I give it to you?! They'd be all mine, to succeed at that love confession I don't intend to carry out!"
"Okay, but if I find one, I wouldn't let it go to waste," Hakari frowned, ever diligent in her search. "I'd use it to ask Rentarou-kun on a date…"
"What a tramp!" Karane gasped, scandalized. "You already are on a first name basis with him!"
Hakari smiled. "Of course I am! Why waste my time with the first stages of denial and pondering? My heart is a strong locomotive, steadily advancing towards the consummation of our passion! Life is too short, and I have to seize this chance the God of Love has given me!"
"… H-Huh!" Karane said, looking over Hakari's shoulder. "Th-Then, if that boy were here right now…"
"I'd be completely honest and open with him and confess my feelings, naturally!" Hakari said happily. "Yesterday, I couldn't be as sincere as I'd have liked, but-!"
"Good afternoon, excuse me!" another, pleasant voice said, and Hakari stiffened. Her eyes swelled up. Her nipples hardened against her bra. "Are, are you feeling better now? How are your legs?"
Hakari rolled back and dropped onto her butt on the dirt, looking up in nervous shock at the awkwardly smiling Rentarou. "Ah! Ah, it's you, Aijo-san, I mean, Aijo-kun, I mean! What a happy, wonderful coincidence to meet again, and so soon…!"
"Were you following us since yesterday?" Karane squinted at him suspiciously. "What a creepy thing to do! No wonder you're friends with the Perverted Beast!"
"We… We aren't friends, I mean, we're classmates, but we aren't all that close…" Rentarou said, scratching his cheek. "He's not a bad guy, actually, but you know, just because you study with someone, that doesn't mean that you have to be pals…"
Karane and Hakari stared at each other, then at Rentarou. They nodded. "Yes. Yes, we know," they said in unison.
Rentarou smiled again. Ah! Their quirky behavior only made them so much more endearing! He crouched before them, tenderly helping Hakari to sit up on the grass. "I was just passing by and saw you from afar. Since you seemed to have lost something, I wanted to know if I could help…"
"I, I,I'm only looking for truffles!" Karane said. "It's just I don't have a truffle-tracking pig, so I brought Hanezono instead! I'm not looking for any four leaf clovers since I don't believe in superstitions, and I'm not interested on any, on any boys anyway! Much less you! I wasn't looking through helpful local rumors online because I can't connect with others and ask them myself! I only looked online for how to look for truffles! Got all of that?!"
Rentarou and Hakari sweatdropped.
Karane frowned. "Wasn't I clear enough?"
Rentarou sighed, blushing a little at such an earnest display of Tsunderism, and then crouched down. "I see! In that case, I'll help you look for truffles, but if I see any four leaf clovers, I'll give them to you anyway, since—"
"I am looking for four leaf clovers!" Hakari blurted out. "Because you're really, really, really, really and really good looking and helpful and caring and I'd like to ask you on a date, Aijo-kun!"
"...!" Rentarou said.
Karane's eyes had become perfect blank spheres.
Hakari facepalmed. "Oh dear! Blast the honesty of my heart! I wasn't supposed to say that until I found the clover…!"
Somewhere down the steps, a casual burst of wind blew a four leaf clover onto Assassin's face. He grabbed it casually, looked at it for a moment, and then crushed it between his fingers. "I have no use for something like this…"
It was late now, and everyone had left Evangeline Mc Dowell's woodland cabin already, except for Negi, Chamo the ermine, Chisame, Tsunetsuki, Hakase, Sora-san, Keiichi, Skuld, Makie, Yuuna and Ayaka, which I realize is still a whole damn lot of people. All of them were at the front porch with Evangeline and Chachamaru now, preparing to leave as well.
"You've looked antsy all day long, Sku-chan," Makie observed while pulling a jacket on herself. There was a cool wind blowing from the South, and it appeared it'd be a cold night coming. "What's bothering you?"
The young, black haired Norn stared into the distance, frowning. "I don't know. I've been feeling a disturbance in the Source since yesterday. A grating sensation of wrongness that I hadn't felt for a while…"
"It might be related to that young man coming this way," Chachamaru said calmly, her eyes glowing in a faint green shade as they scanned the narrow mountain road leading to the campus. "Since normally, nobody but us would dare coming here…"
Evangeline snorted out a corner of her mouth. "What, an intruder? I swear, if it's one of those foolish Masters trying to bring their War to my doorstep…!"
"It's Aijo-senpai," Chachamaru reported, even as the vague shape of a man appeared in the distance.
Keiichi blinked. "Aijo? That name sounds familiar…"
"Damn! It's the creep we talked about the other night!" Chisame said, as the man's figure came closer very slowly. It lurched more than walking, with the crushed gait of a living dead. "Did he learn we were meeting here?!"
"A stalker harassing Chisame-sama?! Unheard of! Inacceptable!" Matoi said, reaching into her hakama blouse and pulling a switchblade out. "He'll pay dearly for that sin…!"
Negi frowned and took the weapon from her. "This is confiscated! I thought we'd talked on this subject!"
"But, Negi-sama…!" Matoi lamented.
Aijo Rentarou did indeed come to them now, with fixed, haunted, dead eyes and the general appearance of someone who has lost every reason to live. He stared vacantly at Chisame, who was at the head of the formation with an angry scowl, and blandly said, "Ah… It's you…"
Chachamaru bowed. "Good evening, Senpai. Who are you looking for here? I'm afraid you have only two minutes to vacate these premises before I unleash my arsenal on you."
Evangeline blinked. "Ah? I always give intruders three minutes!"
Sora sweatdropped. "So Chacha-san is human too, huh… She still hasn't forgotten that…"
Rentarou lowered his head even further. "Urd-sama sent me to look for council here. Sorry, I never wanted to trouble any of you again, Chisame-san, Ayaka-chan, Karakuri-san. I… I don't feel too well…" he admitted, and then fainted facefirst on the dirt.
Negi gasped. "Ah! He died?!"
Eva hummed in mild interest. "Bring this piece of trash inside. He might have some interesting story to tell…"
"No!" Skuld shouted. "Don't do that!"
Eva glared at her.
"I mean, please don't do it!" Skuld said. "Urd is my other sister, the foul one! Nothing good comes from associating with her! Those evil vibes, I should've known!"
"Well, what are we supposed to do, let him catch his death from a cold out here?" Negi said, holding Rentarou by the legs as Chachamaru grabbed him by the arms, both lifting the young man and carrying him inside.
"YES!" Skuld and Matoi said, following them inside.
"I mean, Chachamaru could always just fly him to the nurse and drop him there!" Chisame argued, coming in next. "This time I feel like trusting Skuld, I don't want to deal with this guy ever again!"
Ayaka shuddered. "Why did he call me '-chan'? I feel so dirty…!"
"I have to say I don't like him either," Yuuna said, closing the formation as Keiichi closed the door after them. "I'd never seen him before, but there's something eminently hateable about his stupid geek face."
"Seriously? He looks normal to me," Keiichi said, leaning closer to examine the unconscious youngster Negi and Chachamaru had set on the couch. Having been turned off rather harshly after a couple of proposals himself, chiefly by Mishima Sayoko, he felt himself somewhat inclined to sympathize with this poor sap's story. "You girls normally aren't this bitter about men…"
Chisame rubbed herself up and down an arm. "I can't help it! He makes my stomach churn for some reason!"
Makie sniffed at him. "It's not that he smells badly or anything, it's just that…"
"I despise most of the human species, so I don't feel any different about him," Evangeline shrugged indifferently. Then she walked over to him and slapped him several times, hard. "WAKE UP, MORON! Make this amusing, or I'll just throw you outside to die in the wild!"
"… No, you definitely dislike him more than the average too!" Sora said. "You never treat anyone like that until they start talking back to you!"
Rentarou opened his eyes, making the girls wince and pull back, so only Keiichi, Chamo and Negi stayed close. "Where am I?" he asked.
"You're in Evangeline-san's house," Negi said kindly. From the stories the girls had told he'd been picturing this boy to be unpleasant and sleazy, but so far he seemed to be more pitiable than anything. "Take it easy. Why are you so… depressed? How can we help you?"
Rentarou sat on the couch and hid his face in his hands. "I've just killed two girls!"
Everyone in the room froze in abject horror, even Evangeline.
Matoi, without saying a single word, was the first one to move after a while, pulling out a second switchblade and leaping onto Rentarou.
Chachamaru barely could grab her in time.
Rentarou made a pause in amazement, before making a wide, shaky smile, eyes sparkling. "Why… I'm so honored! Hanezono-san, my answer is—"
"What, what are you doing, are you just jumping into his arms like that?!" Karane demanded of Hakari.
Hakari laughed softly, making Rentarou swoon. Such a beautiful, feminine laugh…
"Is there anything wrong about it?" she asked her roommate. "It's what I came here for, after all. You should be happy, we will now go out on our date and you can enjoy your truffles in peace…"
"He hasn't even said anything yet!" Karane pointed out.
"Of course I do!" Rentarou said in a hurry. Then he remembered, and he almost bit his tongue. "Ah! I mean-!"
Hakari smiled angelically and brought her hands together while Karane made a grimace. "Do you see, Ka-ra-ne-san? So strong is the power of my love that I didn't even need the clover after all!"
"That's what I was saying, that, that you don't need a stupid clover to…" Karane struggled to squeeze a moral victory out, at least. But suddenly that didn't matter at all. "I mean… Truffles… No, no, w-what I mean is… well…"
Hakari noticed a sudden change in her expression, going from that usual comical exasperation to almost looking on the edge of tears, and genuinely grew worried. "Karane-san? Are you-?"
"I don't care!" the blonde growled, pushing a hand ahead and shoving Rentarou back just as he tried to get closer to tell her something. "So what! It's just a stupid infatuation over a man you just met, I'm above those things! You won't last a week together anyway!"
"Karane-san," Rentarou said, "I… I'd like to tell you that…"
Hakari raised an eyebrow and grabbed him by an arm. "Aijo-kun?"
"Were you… were you intending to ask me out as well?" the boy asked the other girl.
Karane blushed harder than ever, and then socked him with a good punch to the face. Hakari gasped. "N-NO! Of course not! It's not like I like you or anything! Just go away with your new girlfriend for all I care! You don't owe me anything, right?!"
He rubbed his newly swollen cheek and doubted. This was a literal matter of life or death! "You're also lovely, of course, I wouldn't want to offend you by—"
"D-Dummy, why would you offend me when I've just told you I have no interest on you!" the shaking blonde looked aside, then pointed at the troubled looking Hanezono. "On the other hand, you ARE insulting her by showing interest on me after she asked you out!"
"She is right, Aijo-kun," Hakari said cautiously. "Did you come here for her, or me?"
"I came… for both of you, actually," he said, not finding anything better to answer.
The two girls stared at him, frowning.
He sighed. "In a perfect fair world, this wouldn't have to happen. But… Give me a break, please! We've just met! Let's take this easy and—"
"Okay, fine, that's a fair point!" Karane tossed her hands up. "So maybe we're rushing this! It's not like we're going to drop dead if you take a day to think this over, right?"
"Uhhhh… right!" he said.
Hanezono made a small frown, still holding onto his arm. "I suppose… But wait, you still haven't said you WANT TO date him!"
Karane mumbled between clenched teeth, then pulled out a pen and a small piece of paper. She hastily wrote on the latter and held it up, frowning and gazing at the grass. The paper read PLEASE DATE ME, YOU IDIOT.
"Um… Okay!" he nodded quickly. "That, that is-!"
"Aijo-kun!" Hanezono whined.
"Shaddap, I've thrown the gauntlet and you have to pick it up, on your honor as a woman!" Karane told her. She pointed at Rentarou. "One day! That's as much as we're going to wait for your answer! We hate wishy-washy men so you'd better have made your mind up by then!"
Rentarou deflated, realizing that fighting back now would only made everything even worse. "Okay…"
"… and?" Matoi asked.
"And then I left, feeling awful and very dizzy, and lost my way in the woods until I found your cabin," Rentarou said miserably.
"Okay, but where's the part where you murdered them and buried their bodies under the World Tree?" Matoi pressed on.
"I never did such a thing!" Rentarou gasped, horrified. "I left them perfectly fine, if still doomed because of me!"
"Then why do you say you killed them?" Makie asked.
"Makie-san, did you already forget the first part of his story?" Negi sighed. "If he rejects one of them, that young lady will suffer great misfortune and die…"
"That's right!" the older boy said. "And I've just entered a deal that will hurt at least one of them, but most likely both! They're roommates, so whoever loses will be constantly reminded of the fact! They'll make each other unhappy, and even if we get our relationship going, that's going to ruin it! They'll both suffer because of my indecisiveness, but deciding anything also leads to disaster! There's no way out! I'm in despair! This absurd, cruel situation has left me in despair!"
"Please don't say that…" Chachamaru said.
"Why? Do you see an alternative, a way I can make them happy?" Rentarou asked hopefully.
"No, what I mean is that you're stealing Itoshiki-sensei's beloved catchphrase," the gynoid said.
"Aaauugh!"
Ayaka looked at Skuld. "Does that surrealist story ring true, or is he making it up?"
Skuld shrugged. "The basics of it gel with the postulates of the Balance of Fortune and Misfortune in the Human Plane," she allowed. "And of course, it'd be just like Urd to commit such a careless mistake while failing to keep reports of who his soulmates are."
He threw himself to her feet. "Please help them out, Imouto-sama! I'll do anything!"
"What do you expect me to do?!" Skuld said. "I'm not a goddess of love!" She pointed at Negi. "He's a mage, ask him to brew a love potion for you!"
"I don't think that's going to help either since it'd only be a false love," Eva said, elegantly sipping from a cup of fragrant tea, sitting crosslegged. "It sucks to be you, Boya."
Negi frowned at Skuld. "Please, don't give my secrets away so happily."
Skuld waved a hand in circles. "Oh, you should've thought of how important your secrecy was before recruiting over half of your students for your pappy-searching crusade!"
"A… mage?" Rentarou blinked at Negi.
"An apprentice," Evangeline sneered. "A mere novice, still learning the most basic ropes of the mystery walk. A simple child, he cannot possibly help you, anymore than he can help himself…"
"Thanks for your usual vote of confidence, Master," Negi said dryly.
Eva got up with her small evil smirk on. "But I can help you," she told Rentarou. "If you beg me hard, long, and pathetically enough, I might be convinced to save those two harlots for you…"
To be Continued.
Next: Return of the Sakura Lane Vampire!