Hey everybody^^
Honestly I'm totally overwhelmed by all your warm welcoming of this final part! It makes me so happy, that so many of you had been waiting patiently and now fill me with so much love and take the time to comment. Thank you!
We will start slow with some recap, but don't worry, soon thing will get interesting ;-)
I hope you have a great weekend!
See you next Saturday ;-)
Chapter 1 – Suspicion
-Sanji-
"And cheers!"
In high spirits they celebrated. As always, when the Straw Hats threw a party. Even two whole years had not changed anything at least about that, even after two years they still celebrated the same carefree way, maybe it was even better, but maybe only because the last time had been so long ago.
Sanji, in any case, could not complain while indulging in the beautiful mermaids and fish women and enjoying their warmhearted hospitality.
Just this morning they had all come back together. Hardly a day had passed and yet so many things had already happened. Luffy would call it an adventure, the daily routine of the Straw Hats everyone else. Just this morning they had reunited, had sunken down into the depths of the sea, had almost been swallowed by deep-sea monsters or crushed by masses of water. They had reached the Fishman Island and had been treated like friends and enemies, had been drawn into a battle that they had finally won. Within barely a day, they had experienced enough to write whole stories.
Now they were here, down at the bottom of the sea, among strangers who were already like friends to them, and celebrated with them in the Ryugu Palace their victory over the fishman pirates.
Actually, everything was perfect. The mood couldn't be better, the food couldn't be tastier, the women couldn't be more beautiful. Actually, this was the perfect party to celebrate their reunion. Actually, Sanji could not be happier, surrounded by the beauties of this island, his friends, whom he had finally met again after two long, terrible years, always in view, all cheerful, all well.
But there was this subliminal discomfort, and he knew exactly why this oppressive feeling in his stomach did not leave him alone, no matter how many cigarettes he smoked, no matter how much the loveable ladies flirted with him, no matter how happy he was to be with his friends again.
The reason for his displeasure sat not far from him, surrounded by other alcoholics, and skillfully ignored him: Roronoa Zoro.
Of course, Sanji should be happy that Zoro was back. He should be happy that Zoro was back despite everything, had returned like all of them, was well like all of them.
But the truth was, Sanji wasn't. Of course, he was grateful that Zoro was still alive. Even if he liked to wish the other would drop dead every once in a while, that had never been meant seriously. He never wanted anything to happen to Zoro.
But that was exactly the problem. Something had happened to Zoro. Even though he sat there emptying his somewhat tenth beer mug and loudly asked for more, Sanji knew very well that he could not possibly be well, as if he were nothing more than a wishful phantom, an illusion incarnate, that would disappear as soon as Sanji blinked briefly.
Back then, two years ago, at the G-6 Marine base of the Senichi Islands, Sanji had been there, he had seen those wounds, Zoro's gaze. Even now, Sanji still had nightmares about that night, the outbreak, the fire, and the screaming people. Even now he dreamed of that sad smile, his own aching limbs, and those words.
Live, Sanji!
The wine suddenly tasted stale.
Now it's your turn. Protect them!
In the last two years, not a day had passed when he could have forgotten these words. Not a single night had passed in which he had not heard them.
Do you trust me?
Oh yes, he had trusted Zoro, had trusted him to the very end. Sanji had trusted that Zoro would find a way to save them all from certain death and Zoro... he had done just that. He had freed them all from the stronghold of Senichi, each and every one of them. Even Sanji, who had refused to flee with the others and had wanted to help Zoro to stop the soldiers.
It had been nothing more than a hunch, an uneasiness. Even today he still remembered the moment when he had been running through the courtyard of the fortress with Zoro, Nami, and Usopp. He remembered the swordsman's paleness, the drops of sweat, the lips pressed together, remembered the blood leaking through bandages and Marine uniform. Sanji had decided to stay behind because he had known about Zoro's serious injuries and he had not been willing to sacrifice the other.
Still, he hadn't doubted for a second that Zoro would somehow be able to get them out of there, even when Zoro had set the castle on fire, in an incredible, rapidly spreading explosion of flames, without them having had an escape route. He had not doubted the other even then.
Sanji remembered the heat, the screams, the pain when he and Zoro had fled up the tower and the stones had been literally blown away under his feet by the blazing inferno. Even then, he had not doubted, although their escape had ended in a dead end.
He remembered the sea of flames in which all these soldiers had painfully given their lives. He remembered how Zoro had almost pulled him up the tower, how they had been trapped by the flames and Sanji had already accepted that this should have been their end. There had been no doubt, but simple acceptance.
Do you trust me?
But these words had been enough for him to believe Zoro would still be able to save both of them, that he would be able to save them both from the flames.
He remembered the silhouette of the Thousand Sunny in the near water and his own hasty thoughts about how they could get there safely, despite their injuries, despite Zoro's injuries.
But Zoro had never intended to save both of them.
Now it's your turn. Protect them!
When he had grabbed Sanji's arm and thrown him from that tower into the ocean, Sanji had finally understood his abstruse, ludicrous plan. He might had promised Sanji that he would get everyone out, save everyone, but he probably hadn't even thought of himself for even a second.
Live, Sanji!
Zoro had saved them all, saved each and every one of them from being sentenced by the Marines after they had all been captured by Vice Admiral Hakkai. He had come up with an escape plan and put it into action on his own, without initiating even one of them, without even initiating Sanji. He had saved them all and hadn't thought for a moment about saving himself, and Sanji knew exactly why.
He had spent nights awake, avoiding nightmares, surrendering to self-doubt, guilt, and grief, but at some point he had understood why Zoro had acted in this way, what his words and actions had meant.
Zoro had never intended to survive.
The longer Sanji had thought about it, the more he had understood. He knew of the awful injury Zoro had suffered from his fight against the Marines – by some swordsman whose name Sanji had already forgotten – and how poorly the Marine's doctors had treated those wounds.
He remembered when he and Zoro had fled their cell and dressed up as Marines in a locker room. He remembered the gaping wound that had torn open the entire side of the other, from the chest down to the hip, broken seams of lacking medical care, painfully swollen and inflamed flesh, clumped and clotted blood, the darkly discolored skin, the emaciated body.
That was the reason why he had given Sanji his life's duty. Zoro had decided to rather fall in battle than to survive with them and impose his inevitable fate on Chopper.
Protect them!
Sanji had always known it since he knew the other. Zoro liked to come across cold and rude, as if he didn't give a crap about others, but he had never hesitated to protect and save any of them.
Repeatedly he had risked his life for them and Sanji had experienced it up close, had experienced on Thriller Bark how far Zoro was willing to go to protect them all.
Sanji had been quite sure that Zoro had given him this task, because he had known that he himself would no longer be able to do so, had imposed on him this overwhelming responsibility to shoulder what even Zoro had failed to do.
Of course, Sanji as well had always protected his crewmembers, the two ladies with the outmost fervor, but also the others. But there had never been a moment, when he had to worry about Luffy and Zoro. He had always known how strong those two were, had never needed to protect them.
At that time on Thriller Bark, it was the first time Sanji had ever thought about that even those two must have their limits, but again Zoro had taught him otherwise, had once again blown Sanji's imagination and although Zoro's strength should have calmed him down, it had been different. Sanji had been worried, yet not wanting to admit it to himself. He hadn't wanted to admit to himself that someone like Zoro, someone like Luffy, that even they could have their limits, that even they could break. Sanji had wanted to stay ignorant and innocent.
But even Zoro had failed, even he had not made it in the end, had saved them and lost himself, lost them all.
Protect them! But do not become like me, don't become a monster!
Sanji didn't know, he didn't know what exactly Zoro had wanted to say to him, but whatever it had been, Sanji hadn't fulfilled it. After the G-6, they had been in exactly two dangerous situations. They had survived the first one on any island near the Red Line only because they had received unexpected help from the Shichibukai Hawk Eyes.
The second one they had not overcome.
Sanji had failed, he had not been able to protect his crew and captain. Neither on that island nor on the Sabaody Archipelago had he lived up to the task that Zoro had given him. It was his fault that they had lost because he had been too weak, because he had not been able to take that one more step, as Zoro had always done.
But that was exactly the problem.
Sanji had understood why Zoro had entrusted him with this task – quite apart from the fact that Sanji had failed miserably – why Zoro himself had not been able to carry out this task anymore.
He had seen the wound, seen the pain of the other, and after half the castle under them had exploded, the other had barely been able to stand. No matter how strong even Zoro had been, Sanji had known that he had not been able to survive these injuries, had not been able to survive in the long run.
In addition...
But don't become a monster!
Zoro had saved Sanji, had thrown him through the flames that had enclosed the tower, close to the ship into the cool sea where the others had picked him up.
But Zoro...
You can't do that! You can't just do that!
Sanji remembered the grotesque image of the Marine stronghold consumed by flames, remembered the shadow of the burning tower disfigured by fire, remembered the barely identifiable figure between the flames, one fist pushed to the sky, as an eternal sign of friendship, and then the tower had collapsed, destroyed by flames, and so Zoro had also fallen, buried under the rubble of the Marine base.
Yes, Sanji remembered that day over two years ago, and he knew exactly what he had seen. Zoro had died, evidently died that day.
Nevertheless – and Sanji was simply not able to get it into his head – despite everything that had happened at that time, the other was now sitting there, drinking barrels of beer, and enjoying his life, although that was impossible!
Sanji didn't understand how the others could just ignore this, just pretend that the G-6 had never happened, as if they had never lost Zoro, as if he hadn't fucking died.
How could it be, how the hell could it be that Zoro was now sitting there so carefree, apparently not bearing a scratch from that time, not even a small burn, not even a scar of the huge wound that he simply could not have survived?
But no, none of the crew asked, none of them seemed surprised. They all acted as if it had been logical that Zoro had not fallen with the flaming tower, as if it had been logical that Zoro would of course not die by something like that.
But they had all mourned just as much as Sanji back then. At that time, they had escaped the G-6, but they had all suffered from the loss. While their wounds had healed in the days that had followed, the pain had remained.
Sanji remembered the agonizing hours when he had heard Choppers sobbing at night, but he had not dared to go to another bunk, because the one he would otherwise have turned to had been empty. He remembered the late evenings he had spent silently with Nami or Robin in the galley when none of them knew what else to say. He remembered Brook's comforting words that had only made it harder for Sanji.
They had all mourned, all but Luffy. It was true, Luffy had been unconscious during their escape, badly wounded by Vice Admiral Hakkai, had woken up days later, and Sanji had been the one to tell him the truth.
He remembered that, too. He remembered how he had to tell Luffy the terrible truth, how they had been devastatingly beaten, how they had been captured, how Zoro had freed them all and, in the end,...
Luffy, Zoro is dead.
He remembered the other's screams, his tears, his torments, and then, barely a day later, Luffy had decided that what Sanji had experienced firsthand had simply not happened. With a naïve smile, he had basically claimed – against better judgment – that Zoro had survived.
Sanji remembered those days, the recurring arguments with his captain, the despair and confusion of the others, irrational hopes and accusations that had only weakened them even more.
At some point, Sanji had decided to leave Luffy to his illusion, knowing that he as well would have to wake up at some point. On the day Zoro's bounty had been annulled, Sanji had accepted – had to accept – that Zoro would not come back and that from that point on it had been Sanji's responsibility to protect the crew and the captain.
But already in his first test barely a month after they had lost Zoro, Sanji had failed.
It was their first shore leave since... since the day they all had wanted to celebrate, when they all had wanted to celebrate a very special day. Sanji had been inattentive. While Luffy hadn't doubted Zoro for a moment, Sanji had fallen for his guilt again that day, not even realizing that they had been ambushed, that the Marines had just been waiting for them.
Sanji still could hardly guess why Hawk Eyes and his charming fiancée had suddenly appeared out of nowhere and had helped them. Only after they had escaped the ambush, the crew had noticed who had come to their aid and Sanji had feared that after Bartholomew Kuma, the next Shichibukai had been sent after them to complete what Kuma had not finished, to get Luffy.
Desperate and well aware that he would not have been able to win this fight, Sanji had attacked Hawk Eyes, had not wanted to hesitate again, to protect his captain, had wanted to take this one more step, no matter the cost.
Don't throw away your life that easily.
Hawk Eye's fiancée, Lady Loreen, had stopped him, thrown him to the ground, ready to kill him at any time, as if it had been the simplest in the world, and her gaze... Sanji wanted to remember these eyes, but all he could remember was that she had been an unparalleled beauty, a single force of nature squeezed into a graceful body.
He had no idea why she and Hawk Eyes had decided to help them, but he knew that he had not cared at that moment when she had squatted over him and he had been a victim of her passion.
When he thought about it, he also wondered how Luffy knew her, after all, she had only talked with him, after all, he had simply embraced her when she suddenly had screamed his name and begun to cry bitterly.
At first Sanji had suspected that she might have been Zoro's sister, who had crossed Luffy's path before the rest of them had joined the crew. But he had quickly banished this thought. Except for the color of their hair and that they both appearently knew how to handle the sword, there had been no connection between the charming Lady Loreen and the grumpy Roronoa Zoro.
But whatever she had told Luffy, after Luffy had sent them all away and talked alone with the charming Lady Loreen and the Shichibukai Hawk Eyes, it had been enough for Luffy to give her Zoro's swords.
Contrary to Sanji's protests, Luffy had simply given them away, saying that Zoro would need them and that Zoro would still be alive. But the worst thing about that moment was that the words of a stranger and a Shichibukai who had once nearly killed Zoro had been enough to convince the crew, to convince them all.
Luffy had claimed it anyway, but suddenly it had been obvious to everyone that Zoro must have survived and would eventually return to them; even the clever Robin had believed it. They all had ignored logic and reason, ignored what they had seen with their own eyes, all but Sanji. It had hurt, damn it he had suffered the worst torments since childhood, because he had not wanted to give in to this hopeless hope, had done what Zoro would have expected of him.
While they had all been happily waiting for the day of Zoro's return, Sanji had been waiting for the day when the truth would catch up with them and he had to be the one to give them support.
And the truth had caught up with them, but a completely different one, an almost even more brutal one. Roughly a month after they had already lost one of the strongest crewmembers to the all-powerful enemy, the enemy had shown them how unconquerable the gap between them was.
On the Sabadoy Archipelago they had been devastatingly beaten, Sanji had failed, had not been able to protect a single crewmember, had not been able to protect his captain, and he wondered what Zoro would have done if he had been there, if they would have made it.
But he hadn't shown up to help them, to save them, and that's why Sanji had known that the gorgeous Lady Loreen and Hawk Eyes had lied, presumably only to get Zoro's precious swords. Zoro had not come, unlike usually, when he had used to come just in time to protect them or to save the day, so Sanji had known that Luffy had been wrong. If Zoro had been alive, he would have come, so the truth had been inevitable, Zoro had died, as Sanji had already known from the beginning.
Two years of time had been given to Sanji to accept that death and his new task, to become strong enough to do justice to it. He had gone through hell, but hell had not been able to keep up with his inner torments and his own contempt.
Because despite everything, even though Sanji knew what his new task required of him, he had not been able to take this one more step.
Live, Sanji!
Protect them!
But don't become a monster!
He had trained, had learned everything he could learn and more. Had become an excellent cook and an even better fighter to do what he needed to do. But he had not been able to take that one more step. These words locked the darkest place in Sanji's soul like a seal of curses and he did not dare to tear it down and let the monster behind it come to light. Why else would Zoro have warned him about it at the time?
Don't throw away your life that easily.
Perhaps he had misunderstood Zoro's words at the time, he didn't know, but Lady Loreen's words had been clear as days. To take this step more would mean breaking the seals and possibly it would cost him his life and then he would no longer have been able to fulfill Zoro's task.
Two years of time had been given to Sanji to accept Zoro's death, which he had done, which he had resigned himself to, and yet, nevertheless, there had been this tiny voice in his head that had made him doubt, though he had denied himself to listen to it. If he had listened to it, he would have broken, the darkness of his heart would have engulfed him.
But then, just a few hours ago, he had finally arrived at the Sabaody Archipelago, after two long years, and had learned that Luffy had been right from the beginning, that Sanji had been wrong, that he had been wrong, even though he had seen the truth with his own eyes.
As if resurrected, Zoro had risen from the depths of the sea, his voice as rough as ever, his gaze as cold and bored as Sanji knew him. As if nothing had ever happened, as if he had not been consumed by the flames and buried by the tower.
Nothing about his body testified to what had happened on Senichi. Sanji had watched him during the battle, had seen his naked upper body, only branded with this one scar, which the other always showed around like an ugly medal. Zoro had become strong, incredibly strong, stronger than Sanji had ever expected, ready to carry the burden of his position on his proud shoulders as the one who would protect the captain under all circumstances.
But it was impossible, it was impossible that his body had not suffered wounds, that he had been able to spend the last two years training and not recovering, while Sanji even today could still see the fine and coarse lines from the countless stone splinters that had pierced his lower legs more than two years ago.
Sanji regarded the swordsman. Yes, he had changed, the scar over the left eye, the longer hair, the other clothes – which, to be honest, were not an improvement to before – and overall the physical development. But nothing about him, neither his body nor his behavior, reminded of what had happened at that time.
It was almost as if Sanji had only imagined the G-6, as if they had not been captured, as if they had not lost him to the flames, that's how he acted, so undiscerning Zoro acted.
Sanji crumpled the cigarette filter in his hand and put on a new one, looking at the lighter in his hand. It almost looked like his old one – the one Jeff had given him – except that it was golden. This lighter was proof that the G-6 had really happened.
Zoro had used Sanji's lighter to set fire to the castle, had fed Jeff's gift to the flames, and today, more than two years later, Zoro had given him a new one to settle his debt, as Zoro had said.
But Sanji didn't really care about this dept. If the other owed him anything, it was an explanation. But no matter what Sanji had tried to get the other to talk the past few hours, something had always come in between and for whatever reason the others of the crew did not seem to worry at all about the fact that things did not fit together, that something could not be right.
He watched Zoro getting up and walking away from the celebrating crowd, taking a door to the outside, and decided to follow him.
Sanji knew very well that Zoro could not have survived, that these wounds had been far too bad. So how did he do it? How did he survive the fall of the G-6? Without even the tiniest scar? What was his connection with the charming Lady Loreen and the Shichibukai Hawk Eyes? Had he asked those two to help them with the Marines' ambush and if so, why hadn't he come himself? If so, why had they gotten help back then but not on the Sabaody Archipelago? If so, why had Hawk Eyes fought in the great war against Luffy?
He had a lot of questions, an incredible number of questions, and he would get his answer, one way or another.
Why hadn't Zoro come himself? Why did the charming Lady Loreen only talk to Luffy and Luffy alone? Why hadn't she been able to tell them all what she had wanted to say? Why... Why...? Why had Zoro let him believe that he had died?
But Sanji was not able to reach the door. Despite all these pressing questions, he could not resist the charms of the local beauties and for a moment his heavy heart became very light.