Hey everybody,

as expected this chapter is somewhat late, but I really wanted to upload it this week, because we're finally about to start the story (and it's still weekend, so I'm almost on time^^'). Unfortunately the wifi here isn't really good, so I hope the upload actually works...

Next weekend I will hopefully be back on time though we're still on competition. Until then have fun with this chapter ;-)

Chapter 3 – Frustration

-Sanji-

"... is determined by different test sera. Depending on which blood clumps due to which serum..."

"Yes, Chopper, fine, whatever. I don't really care," the grumpy mosshead interrupted the young doctor as they strolled behind Sanji's back through the galley to the sickbay. "You actually wanted to explain what you need to do that, and can you really do something like that here on board at all?"

"Of course!"

Sanji could hear the outrage in Chopper's voice, not that he really paid attention to them. Despite the darkness outside, it was soon time for lunch and despite the excessive celebration of the previous night, Sanji knew full well that his captain would rush in and demand food in a few minutes.

In the background he heard Chopper explaining in detail how he could determine the blood type of each crewmember and Sanji casually wondered what the swordsman had done, that Chopper was already lecturing him again.

But actually, he didn't care. Sanji disliked how the Marimo behaved and therefore he was not surprised that Chopper probably felt the same way. During the fight the previous day, he had watched Zoro persistently, noting that the other was still fighting as recklessly as ever, still ignoring any help. He hadn't changed a bit.

No, that was not true, even a single-celled organism like the mosshead had developed during the past two years, but not for the better. He was even more arrogant than before, even more proud, even more grumpy, and even more a pain in the neck. Zoro behaved as if the G-6 had never happened, as if he did not owe them an apology or at least an explanation.

Zoro pretended as if they hadn't been beaten devastatingly back then, as if they hadn't lost him back then, as if he hadn't been at least badly injured, and oh how much his damn surliness pissed Sanji off. He seemed even more dismissive than before, hardly participated in conversations and disappeared quite quickly from social rounds, like during the celebration last evening.

Therefore, Sanji was hardly surprised that Chopper had taken care of him and lectured him for his unreasonable behavior, as he had often done in the past. Besides Luffy, Chopper was pretty much the only one Zoro listened to when being scolded.

Sighing, Sanji decided to focus on the work in front of him. He didn't know why he was thinking so much about the other. Actually, he should just be happy that the crew was reunited – including the stupid Marimo – and that they had survived the latest events unharmed.

Actually, he was supposed to feel like floating on cloud nine, after all, they had just left the home of the beautiful mermaids behind them a few hours ago and it had been one of his longings for a long time to visit this place one day.

But the truth was he couldn't stop thinking about the day he thought he had seen Zoro die, and now the other stood in front of him as alive as ever, as if none of this had happened, and pretended on top of that like Sanji was the one behaving odd.

Suddenly, the door behind him slammed open and Usopp stormed in.

"Do you have it?" He grumbled angrily and came over to Sanji in the kitchenette.

"Do I have what?" Replied Sanji, no less dissatisfied. For whatever reason, he was in a really bad mood and being gnarled at by a crewmember for no reason didn't exactly make it better, especially when he was cooking and had no idea what the accusation was all about.

No, the only thing that would boost his mood would be a small exchange of blows with the mosshead and this time Sanji would perhaps take it seriously for once.

"I'm missing a dial. I can't find it anywhere," Usopp complained loudly. "I was sure it was in my locker, but it's not there. You are the..."

"Usopp, I don't have your dial," Sanji interrupted him. He really had more important problems than some damn toy.

"But you're the only one who knew..."

"Did you have it with you when we faced Kuma?" He reluctantly remembered that day. "Maybe you lost it in battle or during the last two years."

"Are you even listening to me?!" Usopp now stood next to him and almost snarled at him angrily. It obviously seemed important to him, even if Sanji didn't really know why. It was just one of Usopp's somewhat hundred dials, he had acquired on Skypia.

Skypia... wow, that seemed so long ago. But even then, Zoro had acted absolutely recklessly and...

"It's always in my locker, I just take it out to go to sleep, and now it's gone."

Oh, now he remembered again why it was so important for Usopp; he had worked for ages to extend the recording time as much as possible and Sanji knew that he always listened to during a rough swell to calm down. Sighing, Sanji put a hand on his shoulder.

"Usopp, who knows who was on board during our absence. I don't want to say it was stolen, but maybe it just disappeared."

"But how?"

Now he shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know, Usopp. But some things we can't explain and as painful as it may be, we just have to accept things as they are. If the dial is still on board somewhere, we'll find it at some point and if not, then it's probably time to let go."

Discouraged, Usopp lowered his gaze.

"It was a very special dial," he murmured, "I put so much effort into it."

"I know, but you have so many of them, and with your skills you will certainly make another good recording, maybe an even better one."

"You really think so?" For a moment, Usopp beamed at him in a way that only Luffy could look like when offered meat.

"Of course," he encouraged the other and patted him benevolently on the shoulder, "I know you can do it!"

"You're right," Usopp agreed with him, showing his newfound self-confidence. "I can do that!"

"Exactly, and could you help me set the table now as well?"

The other rolled his eyes, but then submitted to his fate and began to chatter happily about which of his other dials he could repurpose.

Sanji was only half listening. A small voice in his head asked him if he should perhaps follow his own advice. Maybe he should just let go of everything concerning the G-6 and just accept that Zoro didn't want to talk about it, even if Sanji himself had not yet found a conclusion.

But no, the longer he thought about it, the more confident he was. Unlike that insignificant dial, Zoro had not simply disappeared, but had died before his own eyes, and unlike that insignificant dial, Zoro had reappeared. Unlike Usopp, Sanji still had the opportunity to find out what exactly had happened and therefore he would not just accept things as they were.

Zoro owed him another explanation and Sanji would get it, if necessary, by force.

-Zoro-

Eye-rolling, Zoro ignored him.

Although he really tried not to be bothered, it was impossible for him not to notice these conspicuously inconspicuous stares of the cook.

Whenever the other thought that Zoro would not notice, the other watched him nonstop and if Zoro was only in a better mood, he would see this annoying gawking as an invitation to swab the deck with the other again.

But he wasn't in a good mood and certainly had no interest in dealing with the cook, so he ignored the other's stares and concentrated on the food in front of him, while Luffy excitedly told him about his fight against the fishman Hody, as if Zoro had not been part of that whole incident.

According to Nami, they would reach the surface in the late afternoon, and everyone had to feel this quiet tension between them. Finally, in a few hours, they would finally reach the New World where new adventures would await them.

Zoro also looked forward to the New World. After the disappointing fight of the previous day, he hoped that this would remain a one-off event and that the next confrontation would erase this pale aftertaste. He longed for a real fight and not for this boring waste of time. Oh crap, now he sounded almost as snobbish as that damn bastard of a Shichibukai.

At the same time, he was no longer as naïve about the future as he had been two years ago. Back then, he had underestimated the dangers of this world and had almost lost his captain and crew. Zoro's carelessness had led to them falling unprepared into the hands of Hakkai and his G-6 soldiers. His ill-considered fighting style had led to him being so battered after Bartholomew Kuma, that he had not been able to survive the injuries that Homura had inflicted on him in battle. Zoro had made his mistakes and had paid bitterly for them, now he would no longer ignore dangers so naively, not risking losing everything a second time.

He had been given a second chance to travel with his friends and this time he would protect them all, his crew, his captain, and also himself. For this reason, he was looking forward to the New World. He was looking forward to the adventures and fights, but also to how he would face all this. He wanted to prove himself, to prove that he was no longer the naïve guy of that time, the stubborn muscleman without a plan. He wanted to prove that he had learned from his mistakes, that he deserved this second chance.

But sometimes he wished for this former ignorance, maybe he wouldn't notice the annoying glances of the cook, who regarded him strangely the whole meal, as if Zoro would bleed on his beloved tablecloth any second.

The other was incredibly annoying and Zoro didn't know what his problem was. If the cook wanted ssomething from him, then he should spit it out or just back off.

Zoro mood was too bad to deal with the other. He had no desire to argue with him and listen to his nagging, not today, he lacked patience today.

He waited for a moment until Luffy had finished telling his story, then he got up and brought his plate to the sink, before mumbling about training for some time, and left the galley. At the door, he hesitated for a moment, as if waiting for something, a word, a glance, but the crew continued their lively meal and Zoro shook off the strange feeling and closed the door behind him.

He wasn't quite sure what was causing his bad mood, but the past two years had taught him that training could always help him. While he had become his own monster, he had learned to deal with it himself and had learned to deal with annoying mood swings, but this knowledge did not exactly cheer him up right now.

Of course, he knew that his bad mood was partly due to the boring fight of the previous day and his quiet appetite for more. On the other hand, he was no longer used to so many loud and different conversations happening at once and now he had a headache. He was sure that the noisy meals of this crew had not bothered him that much in the past, but maybe he was just imagining things, maybe he was just tired. Today he seemed to be particularly easily irritable.

But even then, training would help him, at least that's what he hoped for.

"Um, Zoro, would you have a moment?"

Not as surprised as he might should be, he turned around, halfway to the lookout. Behind him, Brook had also left lunch. His skull did not reveal any emotional reaction, but his otherwise rather cheerful voice sounded unusually serious.

Zoro had expected Brook to approach him sooner or later, so he just nodded and then pointed up to the lookout, whereupon the skeleton just nodded as well. While Brook followed him, Zoro thought about what to say, aware that lying wouldn't really get him anywhere. Actually, he should be grateful that Brook approached him now, during a moment of calmness, without involving the others. Pretty much everyone else of the crew – perhaps with Robin as an exception – wouldn't show as much consideration as Brook right now, and Zoro wondered if such behavior was typical of the skeleton or if it should be a warning.

They hardly knew each other. Brook had joined the crew after Thriller Bark, just days before they had been captured by G-6 soldiers, just days before Zoro had been separated from them.

He had perhaps had one or two real conversations with the musician and yet Zoro had deep respect for the elder, who had pursued his goal so relentlessly and had not wanted to admit defeat in his never-ending fight against the zombies.

Zoro remembered well the moment when he and the cook had broken into the cell where Franky and Brook had been held captive. Brook had seemed so knowledgeable when he had stared at Zoro from his empty eye sockets, as if he had known what was moving Zoro at that time.

Once upstairs, he waited for the other, who also climbed through the hatch a few seconds later.

He wished this conversation wasn't necessary, but he knew he couldn't avoid it. He knew that he could not hide the truth forever. Depending on how this talk would turn out, the whole crew would soon know Zoro's secret, maybe even before they would reach the New World.

"Thank you for taking the time," Brook acknowledged a little too politely for among crewmembers and bowed slightly.

Zoro just shrugged his shoulders and crossed his arms.

"Sure, what is this about?" He asked, playing the ignorant.

When Brook straightened up again, Zoro could see the seriousness on his skull.

"Can you see it as well?" He asked, confirming Zoro's worry.

He had already suspected it, but now he knew that Brook could actually see it, Zoro's shadow. It didn't really surprise him, after all, he also saw the musician's.

Slowly he nodded.

"What is it?" Brook said.

"I'm sure you know," Zoro replied coolly. "The shadow of the dead."

The other took a step back.

It was true that like every other reborn – as the people who had died and had come back to life in a foreign body but with their own memories – Zoro was also haunted by the shadow of his old life wherever he went.

For most people, this shadow was invisible. In the beginning, Zoro had thought that only other reborns could see it, just as Zoro could see those of strangers, but not his own.

When he had met his crew again two years ago, he had noticed it immediately, but he had ignored it because he had been facing more pressing problems. He could see Brook's shadow, because Brook was also someone who had looked behind the veil of death and then returned to life, knowingly what death looked like.

Therefore, it did not surprise him in the least that the other could also see Zoro's shadow. A foggy figure that became blurred and sharper again and again. Unlike Brook, whose shadow showed his body before his death, Zoro knew that his own shadow — though he couldn't see it himself — showed his other body.

Every reborn knew that Lady Loreen was actually Roronoa Zoro, and Brook could see Lady Loreen's shadow behind Zoro and thus knew it as well.

The other looked at him for a long time and said nothing at all, probably wondering whether Zoro's statement confirmed his assumptions and theories, perhaps also thinking about what this meant and what he should do with this new knowledge. Zoro decided to wait while Brook digested his answer.

"So," murmured the other after a while, "you told Luffy the truth back then. That's why he gave you your swords?"

Zoro simply nodded.

"And you decided not to say anything to the rest of us?"

Zoro nodded once more. Again, they were both silent for a moment.

"Alright," Brook said and also nodded, "then I want to sincerely apologize. Your words clarify a lot to me, but I assure you that I did not want to invade your private sphere on purpose, I was simply not aware of what I was seeing."

"Brook, what you…"

"It's fine." The skeleton waved off. "You don't need to explain yourself to me. I respect your will and your privacy. I'm not going to dare to say things that you want to keep to yourself."

The other turned to leave, seemed absolutely honest and serious in his words and thoughts.

"Of course, I don't want to be presumptuous, and I don't want to pretend to know what circumstances influence your actions, but could I still give you some advice?" Brook had stopped at the hatch and looked at him calmly. "I don't know why you decided not to initiate all of us, but you shouldn't shoulder a secret of this magnitude alone for too long. Not if you have friends who would like to carry some of your burden."

It should be of little surprise to Zoro that the other advised him to do so, just as the Shichibukai had advised him, and yet Brook did surprise him.

"Thank you, Brook."

The skeleton nodded again and then showed him the indefinable smile of a skull, but the grin of his shadow hardly revealed any more.

"Thank you, Zoro. We are all deeply indebted to you, and I will do my utmost to ease your burden at least somewhat."

With that, the other began to climb down the hatch, leaving Zoro behind. For a moment he was amazed by the continuing silence, although he was now alone, then he turned around shaking his head.

The conversation had gone a little differently than he had expected. Of course, he had expected Brook to add up two and two and find out that Zoro and Lady Loreen were one and the same person, but he didn't expect Brook to keep quiet about this knowledge and also to offer his help to Zoro.

Had Brook decided to initiate the others, Zoro would not have been able to stop him and he would have accepted it, so he was grateful that Brook had decided against it.

Zoro knew that sooner or later he would have to let the others in, but if possible he wanted to postpone it for as long as possible. On the one hand, because he had no desire to deal with their annoying questions, their annoying glances, and their annoying problems and on the other hand, because he had to settle something else until then and for that it would be better if the crew remained ignorant.

The World Conference was about to happen. An event that he hadn't cared about until recently. But Eizen had ensured that Zoro – Lady Loreen – would come to support the politician in his shady plans.

For this reason, Zoro had decided that his friends were not allowed to know anything about it for the time being, even if he did not yet know exactly how to part from the others for a few days without it being noticed. But he was sure that the less the others knew, the safer they were, the less of a danger they posed to Eizen, and the less they would become the target of any attacks.

He interrupted his train of thought and looked outside as the first light fought its way through the masses of water and illuminated the darkness around them. Soon they would surface.

Sighing, Zoro went over to the loudspeaker system and told the others before he left the lookout. He had been looking forward to being able to train for at least half an hour and to leave the worries of everyday life and of the others behind for a few needed minutes.

But now he could forget that. Once downstairs, he could hear Nami explaining that they would reach the surface in less than an hour, while gradually the others were also coming outside. Whatever gloomy thoughts had plagued Zoro, he now had to push them aside, because who knew what to expect on the other side of the world.

Could it be that someone was missing? No, rubbing his neck, he looked at the others one by one. They were all there, the whole crew had gathered around Nami by now, but this strange feeling remained.

While listening to the explanations and instructions of the navigator with half an ear, Zoro felt the small, white transponder snail snuggling against his leg in his pocket and only then did he notice that he had absently been running a hand over the crook of his neck, looking for a small piece of jewelry that was not there, safely stored in a pleat of his haramaki.

Damn it!

He hadn't expected it to be so difficult. He hadn't expected to be someone who would have to deal with something like this, but he couldn't count how many times he had turned for someone who wasn't there the past few hours. Far too often he had wanted to address someone who was not there, had wanted to hear the opinion of someone who was not there.

Two years ago, when Zoro had been stranded on Sasaki, the Shichibukai's home island, waiting for the others, he had missed his friends. Strangers with similar character traits had painfully reminded him of one or the other crewmember. He had been jolting awake in the middle of his sleep early in the morning because he had imagined his captain calling him. He had stayed awake many nights because the dreams had reminded him of what he had lost and of the suffering his friends had to endure because of him.

Yes, on Sasaki Zoro had thought a lot and often wistfully of the others. But after Rayleigh had told him about his plan and Zoro had decided to travel with the Shichibukai for two years to his chosen home Kuraigana to train there, this melancholy had diminished. He had known what the goal had been, and he had known that he would see his friends again after two years and even if it had hurt, he had also known that it had been for the best.

Now, however, he was back with them and should just be happy. But while watching the brightening sea around them, surrounded by his friends for whom he had trained for two years, he could hardly ignore this strangely unknown feeling of loneliness and he didn't even understand why he felt this way.

That's not how he should feel, that's not how the reunion with his friends should be. He had expected the worries he had about Eizen. He had expected the annoying problem of Lady Loreen, which he had to share with his crew sooner or later. He had even expected a certain mistrust due to his obvious death and unexplained resurrection. He had expected all of this, had expected much more, but he had not been prepared for one thing.

Zoro actually missed this damn bastard of a Shichibukai. He missed how the other would stand next to him and with his calm – annoyingly bored sounding – voice would notice something, share some knowledge with him or complain about something. He missed how the other would raise an arrogant eyebrow over some stupid comment but wouldn't even condescend to an answer. Perhaps he would also give Zoro a glance, saying more than even the other could put into words.

Of course, he had known from the beginning that he would leave Kuraigana after two years and that's how he had wanted it from the beginning. The last ten days he had spent on the Sabaody Archipelago to meet Eizen and wait for his friends hadn't really bothered him either. Every now and then he had wasted a thought on his teacher, but actually Zoro had been much more excited to finally see his friends again.

But now, here and now, as everything seemed to slowly settle back into the usual chaos of this crew, now Zoro realized that something was missing without Zoro being able to do anything about this strange emptiness.

With a sigh, he accepted that they were breaking through the surface and above them the bright blue sky of the New World was waiting for them. He could not even be happy about it, although at least for this moment the annoying eyes of the annoying cook were not pinned on him for once.

Grumpy, Zoro decided that the water on this side of the Red Line didn't really look any different than on the other side and that he could use his time better than standing around stupidly by going to train for a bit.

However, before he had even reached the lookout, Nami's loud voice made him pause. Within fractions of a second, a bank of clouds grew on the horizon, getting closer and closer and even Zoro could see how stormy the sea was there, although it was still peacefully where they were.

The next moment, Nami was already shouting orders to secure the ship, but before Zoro could even begin to carry out his task, the storm had already reached them and took them far away, far away from their actual course, far away into the New World.