Hey again!

Okay, it's not friday afternoon, but saturday night, but hey at least it's a new chapter ;-)
Thank you all for your lovely words and your amazing support. I was really moved by all the kindness that greeted me 3
Hopefully tomorrow I will have the time to answer you guys, but just in case if not, see you next weekend!
I hope you will enjoy this little chapter^^

Sharry

Chapter 9

-Zoro-

"Get up, you morons!" Loud and scolding the cook woke them up. "Don't flake back out, Marimo."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm awake, just shut up," he grumbled, moving into a sitting position, while Luffy was already jumping down from the bunk above him and landing on the floor laughing way too loud for this early in the morning.

Sanji slammed the door shut behind him, making sure they were all awake, at least by now.

"Geez, Sanji has been in such a bad mood lately, it's so much better when Brook wakes us." Usopp let his legs dangle from the bunk and rubbed his tired eyes.

"You think so? I swear if he sings the sun's shiny today one more time, I'll throw his violin overboard." Zoro threw his own legs over the wood and stretched.

"I like the song," Chopper mumbled, also hopping out of his bunk, "It's pretty motivating, you really feel like getting up."

"Yes!" Luffy agreed, collecting his clothes he had thrown in all directions while getting ready for bed the previous night. "Almost as good as the white handkerchief."

Franky laughed out loud. "I don't think any song in the world is able to make it easier for our swordsman to get up."

"Oi, just shut up," Zoro replied with a grin, throwing his pillow at Franky, who caught it easily and winked back.

"Here, Zoro, catch!" Usopp just threw trousers and shirt at him; like his captain, he slept only in shorts. Usopp meanwhile stood at the lockers and also got dressed.

"Thanks."

Franky stood just a few meters next to Usopp by the small mirror and styled his hair with the precision of a surgeon.

Slowly Zoro got dressed.

For two nights he had finally been allowed to sleep in this room with the others. It had not been easy to convince Chopper, but after promising to abide by all the rules that the little doctor would set, he had agreed.

Zoro tried to make everything seem as normal as possible. In fact, he was doing relatively well. He had to be patient because everything took more time, because everything was a little more difficult than before, but he got it, he was able to manage, he had to be able to manage.

Although the feeling in his legs had returned – though it still wasn't how it used to be - he still couldn't move them, let alone walk, despite training almost nonstop, despite spending almost all of his free time doing exercises and physiotherapy to get back on track quickly.

But since there was still no success, he had actually started to use the wheelchair, although he mainly ignored the countless special additional functions that Franky and Usopp had installed. Only the sword holder behind his backrest was useful in his opinion.

However, this had not saved him from the two-hour briefing.

He still spent most of his time upstairs in the galley or the sickbay. Because he couldn't really train and because he didn't want to ask for help every time, he had to climb some stairs, he tried to stay on one level.

Zoro tried to get things done without help as often as possible, especially if he wanted to go to the bathroom. Things weren't easy, but after days of being hospitalized he preferred to do everything he could somehow do on his own to get done alone.

By the time he had managed to get dressed, most had already left the room, only his captain was still rolling across the floor and putting on his sandals, like it was a difficult task.

"You should go as well, Luffy, otherwise you will miss breakfast," he said calmly.

"Nah, nonsense." Luffy grinned. "I'm waiting for you."

Zoro sighed.

He knew it was temporary. He would train and soon be as independent as he used to be, but that didn't mean he could easily rely on the help and good-naturedness of others.

Shaking his head, he lifted himself into the wheelchair and placed his legs on the small plates before at least putting on the belly fastener. Luffy had thrown him out of this thing so many times by now that he preferred the belt.

Said captain already pushed him out the door. The good weather of a few days ago had said goodbye after the storm and a slight fog hung over the sea, which already seemed denser this morning than the previous day. But even the much cooler temperatures couldn't cool down Luffy's happy mood.

He was still humming his little song, while Zoro rolled his eyes and grinned softly. As exhausting as his captain could be, Zoro didn't know what he would do without him.

"Ready?" Luffy asked as they crossed the meadow.

"Ready," Zoro muttered, unable to prevent his fingers from clinging to his armrests a little tighter. His captain had his very own method of getting Zoro up the stairs, although he was slowly getting the hang of dragging himself up the slide, which was a great exercise for his arms by the way.

Luffy's legs wrapped around the wheelchair several times, and then he threw his hands in the air and grabbed the railing of the main terrace above the galley.

The next moment they flew towards the galley.

"Too fast! Too..."

BANG!

They clashed against the wall, right next to the door to the galley.

An automatic air cushion had inflated from beneath the armrests and placed itself around Zoro's legs, so that the impact was intercepted and Zoro was only shaken quite wildly, while Luffy crashed against the wood with full force.

"What the hell is going on out here?" Nami opened the door and stared at them. It only took her a moment to grasp the situation before she walked back in, shaking her head and rolling her eyes, murmuring some insults about them being idiots.

"That was funny," Luffy laughed, letting Zoro pull him off the wall.

"At least much better than yesterday," Zoro agreed with a grin, once again grateful for Franky's and Usopp's foresight as the little pillow let the air out and retreated under the armrests.

Arriving in the kitchen, they were greeted by a cheerful crew. Very well-behaving, Luffy pushed him up to the table but then it was eat or be eaten and Zoro was certainly no one to be eaten! As always, he enjoyed breakfast, watching the fools in their daily fight for food and picking up the most important news of the day from the women's conversation.

From the corner of his eye, he could observe the cook, who in turn was watching him. Zoro decided to ignore it. He knew something was bothering the other. In the beginning Zoro hadn't really noticed it, had been too busy with his own problems to care for it, but now he noted it more and more often.

Sanji was very accommodating, very helpful, which in itself was suspicious enough. Although he loved to make Zoro livid as ever, whenever Zoro faced an unconquerable task, the blond was there to save him from asking for help.

It was scary.

Not to mention these glances. These glances that the chef threw at him whenever he thought Zoro wouldn't notice. Sanji watched him almost continuously, chewing on the glowing butt of his cigarette.

Under normal circumstances, Zoro would have probably brought it up a long time ago, during mealtime, loud, annoyed, for everyone to hear, looking for dispute. Or in the late evening, just before his night watch, quiet, relaxed, only with the cook, approaching the problem.

But for the former he lacked the energy at the moment and for the latter he lacked the opportunity. Nami was against him taking over night watch as long as Zoro could not reach every part of the ship on his own, and as much as he hated admitting it, she was right.

Slowly, his appetite faded.

"I'll go ahead," he grumbled calmly towards Chopper, rolling his chair back.

The reindeer looked up. "Yes, sure. I'll be right behind you."

He could feel some glances in his back as he rolled to the sickbay, pushing the door open and closing it behind him. A simple act that was now much more complicated. He had to get back on his feet, literally. What if they would be attacked?

In this state he could not fight. Sighing, he leaned back. He had decided not to give up, had kind of promised almost every crewmember to do his best, but that didn't mean that it didn't gnaw at him, that he didn't have a hard time.

After all, this wasn't just about him, about his dream, about his promise. It was about this crew, his friends, their dreams. He had vowed not to let any of them down, he was not allowed to give up. He could not become weak, was not allowed to be weak, but damn it, his body trembled under the weight.

Quietly the wheels snapped into place and he hoisted himself out of the wheelchair and onto the bed.

Usopp was right, this was a test for him never to give up any challenge, never to lose his will, how else could a trivial fall, an insignificant accident, had been able to hurt him in such a way?

He did not believe in coincidences, but he had always trusted in his own luck. He did not believe in gods, but in the fact that he could take his fate into his own hands.

This was a test and he would pass it.

-Sanji-

"Don't you think Zoro behaves odd?" Nami said into the strange quietness that had settled in after the swordsman had left the table. Outwardly, she looked as annoyed as usual, in one hand her cup of coffee and in the other the newspaper, but Sanji could see the worry in her gaze.

"I think he's doing quite well," Brook replied with a quiet laugh, "considering that a few days ago he didn't even want to leave the hospital room."

"He just needs some time," Chopper muttered, but none of them escaped his slightly snappy undertone. The young doctor had discovered his maternal protective instincts regarding the swordsman. He hopped down from the chair and followed the Marimo into the sickbay.

"And Chopper isn't in a much better mood," Nami grumbled, but her words were almost drowned by Luffy's loud laughter. Sanji couldn't say what he was excited about, but he wasn't particularly interested either. Much more worried him something completely different.

He couldn't prevent his thoughts from dealing with the Marimo, but the part that wasn't busy with this idiot was worried about Robin.

For a few days, no, since it had become official that Zoro was no longer completely paralyzed, since then she was unusually quiet, unusually often mentally absent and smiling less. Naturally one would expect that, like the rest of the crew, she should be happy about the news, still something seemed off about her.

Sanji had noticed that she had often sought Zoro's company, but had probably never been able to talk with him alone. Something seemed to weigh heavily on her, something concerning the swordsman, something that Sanji had no idea about.

"Does anyone know how Zoro-bro is doing?" Franky suddenly asked. "Chopper didn't tell me a word and I'd like to know if I should start with the changes for the Sunny or not."

"You know Zoro doesn't like you calling him that." It was the first time this morning Robin spoke aloud, but despite her kind words, the usual kindness was missing in her voice.

"He's going to be fine soon," Luffy said, drowning her words.

Once again, Franky shrugged his shoulders and stood up in sync with Brook to help Sanji clean up.

"Yeah, sure, might be, I'm not saying he's not. But when? Next week, next month, next year? The way it is at the moment, it's no good. I bet he doesn't enjoy having to rely on one of us all the time just because he has to go to the toilet."

"As far as I know, Zoro still can't tense up his muscles, even though according to Chopper his reflexes and stuff are working again, the reaction is still weak, but it's there," Nami grumbled, looking stubbornly at the newspaper. "But it's not like he's really keeping us up to date."

"You could just ask him." Luffy laughed cheerfully. He didn't seem to notice the slight tension at all.

Sanji watched them all.

Since that terrible day, Zoro had been the main topic of their conversations. Nothing seemed remotely relevant besides the health of their swordsman.

"Say, Nami dear," he turned to the navigator, who looked up from the newspaper and met his eyes. "Do you know how long it will take us to reach the next island or the Red Line?"

Almost automatically, Nami's gaze slid onto the log pose at her wrist before she looked up again.

"As far as I know it will still be a few days until we reach the Red Line, why?"

He shrugged. "I'm starting to worry about our supplies..."

"What?!" Luffy jumped up. "Why?! Are we low on food? Why? I didn't steal anything, I promise! How long do we have left?"

Sanji waved it off as his captain was already expecting the end of the world.

"It's not that bad. But on the last island I couldn't really add up and we couldn't take so much fresh food with us from Thriller Bark. We don't have to worry yet, but I really do need to shop at our next stop."

Nami just nodded as Luffy breathed a sigh of relief.

"I'll tell you as soon as I can give you more details."

"Thank you, my sweet Nami."

Unfortunately, it wasn't quite like that. Sanji had already started restructuring the planned menu during the last evening to make sure their supplies lasted longer. It wasn't really worrying just yet, he was still able to provide for his crew in the best ways, but as chef it wasn't his job to just cook for the crew, he also had to make sure they were provided with the best possible care. On the high seas, an unbalanced diet could very quickly lead to deficiency symptoms, which could end fatally.

If Sanji was quite honest, it wasn't the food stocks that really worried him. Another important supply was steadily running lower and lower.

One by one the other crewmembers left to start their days, Usopp stayed longer to help him wash up. But at some point Sanji got rid of him as well and was able to devote himself again to his stock lists and meal plans. It wasn't always easy to be solely responsible for the physical well-being of the whole crew, sometimes he wished he could get some advice here and there from the old Zeff on how he could feed so many different mouths. But that was just not possible.

He stared at the pages in front of him and rubbed his nose under his reading glasses. His plan was fine. It was totally fine, but he wasn't happy with it. Once again, he rubbed his face and sighed heavily.

Although Zoro was doing better, Sanji himself still did not sleep well. His dreams haunted him and he believed it was getting worse and worse. His head was pounding more and more, and he was longing for a cigarette. However, his nicotine consumption was as high as it hadn't been for a long time and slowly, he really had to ration them.

He sighed again and slammed his head sideways on the tabletop.

"You look pretty shitty, even for your means."

Surprised, he raised his head.

Zoro just rolled in, one hand on the wheels. With the other, he leaned back to close the door behind him bit by bit.

"Well, not like you're the one to talk," he murmured, leaning back.

The swordsman looked better than he had a few days ago, as he was finally eating again. That, too, had been one of the concerns that had tormented Sanji. But during the last few days Zoro seemed even more serious than usual, his lips a strict, thin line, his eyes cold. He looked as if he were surrounded by enemies, not by his friends. He seemed to be shouldering the burden of the world on his own, as if he were constantly tense, as if he were fighting an invisible fight.

But right now he smirked and rolled a little closer.

"Well, I'm also tied to this thing here. What's your excuse?"

Sanji sighed and held up his meal plan. The swordsman raised an eyebrow.

"Running low?"

He shook his head.

"Not yet. But if I don't pay attention, we will soon."

He sighed again and dropped his head back on the table. He had a headache.

Zoro laughed softly and rolled beside him.

With calm fingers, he pulled out the stock list under Sanji's head and looked at it extensively. Sanji watched him. It wasn't the first time Zoro caught him while doing this task. Usually, he did so in the evening when everyone else was already in bed or early in the morning before the others were up.

"How was it with Chopper?" Sanji muttered, looking closely at the other.

"As always," Zoro only answered, with one finger following along some lines. Sometimes Sanji wondered if the swordsman actually understood those plans or just pretended to, honestly he suspected the latter. On the other hand, it would not be the first time that the other would give him meaningful tips or ideas.

"And your legs?"

"As always."

"What does Chopper say about it?"

Zoro looked at him across the paper, an annoyed look on his face.

"Cook, nothing has changed, okay? You'll notice early enough when I can kick your ass again."

Sanji laughed quietly but hollow. He was incredibly tired.

"What about you?" Zoro grumbled, staring at the sheet of paper again.

"Hmm? What do you mean? My legs are working just fine."

The other looked at him again from the side, rolling his eyes.

"Do you really think I wouldn't notice? You hardly sleep and grumble under your breath all the time, you are often in a bad mood and constantly complain about headaches."

Slowly, Sanji raised his head.

"You also stare at me all the time and that's really annoying." Zoro put the sheet down and looked at him directly. "What's going on, cook? I know why my mood is shitty but what's your excuse?"

Surprised, Sanji met the other's calculated gaze. He had thought that he had acted inconspicuously, that Zoro would not notice, but obviously he had been wrong.

"I don't even know why I'm worried about a Marimo like you," he tried to avert the subject with a false grin, but Zoro's hard gaze made it clear that he wouldn't let Sanji get away with it that easily.

Sighing, he sat up again and put off his glasses.

"It's nothing," he finally grumbled, dodging those cool eyes.

"Aha," was all the other replied, before rolling back.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting something to drink."

Sanji was already about to get up when he remembered that Zoro did not welcome any help. Trying to hide what he had been about to do, he pulled up his documents again, but without putting on the glasses and from the corners of his eyes he watched the other closely.

"I do notice that," Zoro grumbled grimly, and Sanji quickly looked away.

A little later he could hear the wheels and the other joined him again.

But this time Zoro's gaze lay relentlessly on him, and although Sanji could theoretically just run off – for example, via the ladder to the main terrace, where the wheelchair user could not follow him – there was no escape for him.

Zoro took a sip of water without interrupting their eye contact.

"I don't have the nerve for any hide-and-seek games, cook, and I certainly won't ask again." He put the glass on the table. "So?"

Sighing, Sanji buried his face in his hands. He knew why he slept badly. He knew why he was in a bad mood and did not come to rest. He really didn't want to say it out loud, but he knew that there was no other way out.

"I think," he began, his face still hidden, "that I'm to blame."

"Hm?" The other asked, apparently not understanding. "For what?"

Now Sanji looked up and met this cold glance. He wouldn't run away.

"Do you remember the accident?"

Zoro tilted his head, obviously confused.

"Yeah, sure. Why?" He didn't seem to understand what Sanji was talking about.

"Do you remember that we fought just before it happened?"

Zoro shrugged. "Well, I guess, sure. Don't know what exactly about. But why do you...?"

"Because of you Nami got mad at me," Sanji muttered, not accusing, but rather deeply sad. He had known all along that this moment would have to happen sooner or later and he really didn't want it to happen, because despite all the shit happening lately, he really enjoyed the way he and Zoro got along recently. "And after that we climbed this rocky path."

"Cook, what's your point?"

Sanji looked at him seriously.

"I think all of this is my… no, I think I did this, I did this to you."

Zoro frowned, an ice-cold expression stiffening his features.

"When I walked behind you, I was just so freaking mad because you're always such an annoying asshole and always pretend like you don't give a fuck about us, like you don't give a fuck about the crew. I was just so upset that you were playing lone wolf all the fucking time and after this shit happening that morning when you broke the window and put us all in danger..."

"Cook, just tell me what's going on!" Zoro no longer sounded nearly as calm as he had a few seconds ago. Suppressed anger resonated in his voice. "I'm not really enjoying you insulting me the whole time."

Sanji sighed. "I just mean, while I was walking behind you back then, being so frustrated and mad, I just wanted - at least for a moment – to… to push you down that cliff."

Zoro said nothing.

"For a moment I had the idea of how nice it would be if you fell. I… I wanted you to fall, I wanted to see you suffer, only for the fraction of a second, but nevertheless, I wanted it to happen."

He took a deep breath as his voice broke, but the other did not respond.

"And I know it was wrong. I hate myself for those horrible thoughts, but they were there. And then I stumbled into you and we argued." He paused, his voice just a whisper and for a long time he didn't look at the other. "And then I pushed you."

There was silence.

None of them said a single word.

His own heartbeat was so loud, his blood loudly rushing in his ears. At that moment, Sanji was just terrified. Pictures of his nightmare, which he had dreamed about again and again, appeared in front of his inner eye.

"Say something," he almost pleaded. "Please, just say something."

Suddenly they heard a loud BANG and a few seconds later the Sunny rocked menacingly. Loud voices echoed over the ship.

Sanji jumped up and Zoro held onto the table, so he didn't roll away.

"What the...?" Sanji asked as another bang troubled the Sunny.

"We are being attacked!" Zoro growled more collected, rushing towards the galley door, almost crashing against it with his wheelchair due to the rough swell.

Sanji looked at him stunned.

"What's wrong, cook?!" The other yelled at him harshly. "We are under attack. You're in demand or do you want to leave the fighting to the cripple?"

Without waiting for Sanji, Zoro opened the door and stormed out.