Chapter Fifteen

Moving on

Sakura felt her heart shrink, it hurt so much to see her friend in pain. She wrapped her arms around him and heard Syaoran's sobs on her shoulder.

"She doesn't deserve your tears, Syaoran. She's a liar and she used you to have fun."

"And I've been in love like an idiot for months," he whispered, hugging her tighter.

Sakura sighed, she would never have expected that from Natsumi. They pulled apart and she wiped his tears with the sleeve of her jacket.

"Stay home, you can't drive when you're like this."

Syaoran nodded, dejected.

Between the two of them, they pulled the motorbike into the garden and closed the gate. They stood outside for a while until he felt better and went inside the house, greeting Sakura's parents and Touya.

Syaoran ate with the four of them, forcing a smile when Nadeshiko asked him how he was doing in high school and about his mother. He answered politely and helped clear the table, as he always did when he stayed there to eat.

Fujitaka and Nadeshiko said goodbye, he had to go to work and she had a doctor's appointment.

Syaoran and Sakura went up to her room. She opened the door and he sighed, dropping face down on the bed. Sakura giggled and sat down next to him.

"I'm so sorry, Syaoran," she whispered as she stroked his hair.

He turned his head to look at her.

"I feel terrible."

A painful lump tightened in Sakura's throat, and she moved closer so she could hug him.

"Can I stay and spend the afternoon with you? I don't want to go home," he said, sighing in her arms.

"Of course you can. I'm going to get my phone and I'll be right back."

Syaoran released her from his grip and Sakura stood up to take the phone out of her backpack. She typed for a few seconds and set it down on her nightstand, sitting back down next to Syaoran.

"What did you just do?" he asked.

"I was supposed to meet Eriol in a little while, but I told him I'd better see him another day."

Syaoran snorted.

"I don't want to mess up your plans with him, Sakura. I'd better get going."

He tried to get up, but Sakura didn't let him.

"No, you stay here. I'll see Eriol another day, it doesn't matter. I'm not going to leave knowing that you're sad."

Syaoran sighed and let himself fall on Sakura's lap, staying on his back so he could look at her.

"Thank you."

"You go before the boys... Remember? You told me the same thing months ago," she said, smiling and stroking his cheek.

He responded to her smile.

"Yes, I remember. I told you that you were more important to me than Meiling."

She nodded.

"Well, you're more important to me than Eriol and everyone else. Besides, he's not my boyfriend or anything," she muttered, grunting.

"How's everything going with him? Tell me something and distract me," he asked, chuckling under his breath.

Sakura twisted her face.

"I don't know... when we're together I'm comfortable, but sometimes I get overwhelmed. I don't like it when he comes to our school, it's like he's forcing me to see him... and that makes me feel uncomfortable."

Syaoran thought about it for a few seconds.

"You know... he told me that he's in love with you."

A shiver ran down Sakura's back, freezing her.

"Shit... Oh, shit," she mumbled through her teeth.

"You still don't love him?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"He's my friend, of course I love him... but not like that, and I don't think I can do it. I've tried, Syaoran... but I can't, I can't fall in love with him," she replied, sighing.

Syaoran looked at her tenderly.

"Don't feel bad, you can't force these things. Love either comes or it doesn't... and if you're sure you don't want to be with him, you should tell him before he falls more in love with you. He's even thinking about getting a phimosis operation so he can be with you. He wanted to do it when he was with the girl he wanted to lose his virginity with."

Sakura blushed violently.

"I didn't need to know that, Syaoran!" she snarled, slightly annoyed.

He let out a chuckle.

"Yes, you did. Now you know that Eriol is very serious about you, even though he hasn't told you anything so as not to scare you... he's considered you his girlfriend from the beginning, he's always told me that."

She let out a long snort and pursed her lips.

"I'll have to talk to him... I don't want to hurt him."

Syaoran grimaced.

"You're going to hurt him, but... better now than in a month or two. I would have preferred Natsumi to give me the letter much sooner," he said in a low voice.

"One less friend... I shouldn't have let him kiss me even once, this was all a mistake," Sakura whispered as she thought about Eriol.

Syaoran patted her cheek.

"At least you've become an expert in kissing, haven't you?"

She rolled her eyes, eliciting his laughter.

"And Joshua... Do you think you would have fallen in love with him?" Syaoran asked curiously.

Sakura glanced back at her friend, who was still resting his head in her lap.

"I think so."

"Well, you'll find another guy you like as much as Joshua or even more," he muttered, shrugging.

"I don't care, you know I'm not in a hurry. When it comes... it comes," Sakura said, losing herself in her thoughts.

The two were silent for a moment, until Sakura got up again and left the room, returning a few seconds later with a metal bucket, a box of matches and a bottle of alcohol.

"What are you going to do?" Syaoran asked, sitting up in bed.

"I saw it on 'Friends', it might make you feel better," she replied, placing the bucket between the two of them.

She took out Natsumi's letter, which she had kept in her pocket since Syaoran had given it to her, and threw it into the bucket. Then, she asked Syaoran to take out the picture she knew he had in his wallet of Natsumi, and put it in the bucket as well.

Sakura poured a few drops of alcohol and lit one match, throwing it in. A small flame formed inside the bucket, consuming the letter and the photograph.

"The fire will take away your sadness, Syaoran. It's over with Natsumi, but you have to think that the love of your life is out there, somewhere... someday you'll find her and it will all be worth it."

Syaoran smiled and placed one arm around her shoulders, watching the flames that had almost burned everything inside the metal bucket.

The next day, Sakura cornered Natsumi at recess.

"Why did you do that to Syaoran?"

She raised an eyebrow and glared at her with a smug smile.

"I can do whatever I want. And since you're here, you and I are done too. I was only interested in you to get information about him, and to keep tabs on you."

Sakura's mouth dropped open. She clenched her fists and gave her a look of hatred.

"Don't ever come near us again," she muttered, gritting her teeth.

"I wasn't planning on it. I've shagged him enough and I'm just bored," Natsumi replied, shaking her hair and walking away.

Sakura repressed the urge to follow her and pull her blonde hair until she was bald.

A week later, they had a literature exam.

Eriol had sent Sakura several messages because he wanted to see her, but she didn't feel like it. She still didn't know how to tell him that she didn't want anything serious with him, and that it would be better if they stopped seeing each other.

On Thursday, after class, Sakura went with Syaoran in his motorbike to his house to study together, they had the exam that Friday. They had lunch with Yelan and then went up to his room, sitting in front of the desk. At snack time, Syaoran went down to the kitchen to get something they could both eat and to make some tea.

Sakura's phone started ringing. She looked at the screen and snorted when she saw that it was Eriol. She set it down on the table and ignored it, getting up to stretch. Syaoran entered the room and glanced at Sakura, arching an eyebrow.

"Why aren't you answering?" he asked, setting the tea and biscuits on the table.

Sakura shrugged without saying anything and he moved closer to her phone, which had already stopped ringing, unlocked it and saw that the person who had called was Eriol. Syaoran looked at his friend and pursed his lips.

"You haven't talked to him yet?"

Sakura shook her head.

"I don't know how to tell him, besides I hate talking on the phone."

He narrowed his eyes.

"You and I talk almost every day."

"With Tomoyo and you, I don't mind it... but with the others I just can't stand it. I prefer messages."

Sakura's phone vibrated in Syaoran's hand and he threw it to her.

"Well, there you have a message from Eriol."

She rolled her eyes and sighed, sitting back in her chair. Syaoran poured tea and began to drink it as he watched her type on the screen.

"He wants to meet today? Well, that's not happening," she mumbled, putting the phone down on the table and picking up a biscuit.

"How long has it been since you've seen each other?"

Sakura thought about it for a moment.

"Almost two weeks."

"He must be going crazy," Syaoran replied, chuckling.

"I don't have to meet him, he's not my boyfriend," Sakura growled in annoyance.

"I've already told you that Eriol wants to be your boyfriend. You have to talk to him and explain to him that you can't be together anymore."

"I will, don't push me," she protested.

Syaoran pretended to zip his mouth shut, causing her to laugh. They finished their snack and went back to the exam.