[From Hope's diary]

[WRITTEN ON 27 MAY 2014]

One thing I still hide from Light is that me and Alyssa are still in a professional relationship even in the New World. Frankly, I respected and liked her as a colleague and because her field of interest is quite similar to mine. But I do not love her, as I love Light. However, Light was aware that Alyssa liked me, from working with me in the old world and initially she thought that I would be engaged to her eventually.

However, there are several occasions that reinitiated my relationship with Alyssa.

The first incident was when she invited me to her 17th birthday party in the new world. It was about five months after I was reborn, and I had not married Light yet. On that day, Saturday, I was about to survey some food vendors for our wedding preparation. I was with Light and she was driving to the bakery where we had ordered our wedding cake. My phone rang and at that time, I was not aware that it was Alyssa.

"Hello?" I picked up my phone, and noted that there was no caller ID, which meant the person was not on my list of friends, "Who is this?"

"Hey, Hope, " a girl with a cheerful tone replied, "It has been a while...this is Alyssa."

I was surprised and Light saw my unusually anxious facial expression. She also narrowed her eyes. I had never disclosed my phone number to her, but somehow she got it. My last encounter with her was not very positive. Although initially, we were close, her fear of being erased because of the time paradox caused her to try killing me. I wondered why she contacted me out of nowhere.

"Where do you get my number from?" I probed her with a demanding tone. Light was listening to my conversation intently.

"It's from your personal website from undergrad university, " she answered in a hesitant tone, "I just searched your name online and your website was there...It said that you were a computer science student from a German university called TUM..."

I was shocked as I had never attended university in this world but somehow my online database was there. I was silent for a while, while waiting for her to disclose her intention. I saw that we almost reached the bakery on the side of the street. Light had parked the car in front of the shop and she was concentrating on watching me.

"Ok...what do you want from me, Alyssa?" I asked, turning on the phone speaker, "I am with Lightning right now, if you do not mind we can talk later after this."

"Hope...I am grateful for what you and Lightning have done for all of humanity, including me, " she said with a heavy tone, "And I am sorry for what I have done to you..."

I sighed and looked at Light's eyes, "Yeah, no worries about that." I was thinking that all people in our previous life, including PSICOM personnel like Nabaat, Rosch, Guardian Corps leaders like Cid Raines, and even Alyssa, used to be our enemies. But right now, this is a new world where there should not be any war by becoming pawns of gods, "You can start your new life, Alyssa...don't hold onto our past."

I gave a hint to Light by tilting my head outward to get out of the car. She nodded, both of us released our safety belts and went out.

"Hope, actually...I want to invite you...to my 17th birthday party, " Alyssa slowly confessed and it made me and Light stunned at in place, "I am currently also staying in Paris...so it would be nice if you can attend the event..."

"Wow...congratulations, " I commented while standing beside the bakery's entrance with Light beside me, "When will it be? Where is it?"

"Two weeks from now, 10th of June... at 6pm," Alyssa responded, "It will be at the Marriott hotel on 2nd South Cross Street...7th floor."

I noted that the venue was very near to Light's apartment, just around five minutes walking distance.

"Ummm...do I have to answer you now?" I murmured and clarified to her, I felt uneasy because Light was beside me and her facial expression seemed impatient. I nodded and raised my thumb to indicate I would soon end the call.

"No, but I think for you it will be a good event for networking...", Alyssa claimed, "Actually, my dad is a professor at Ecole...And if you still want to become professor like in the old world, you will need to get a PhD. And you can talk with him if you want...Lightning and Serah can also come."

"I see...that's quite interesting, " I commented, "I will contact you again later."

"Sure!" Alyssa answered, her tone sounded very happy, "See you later, Hope..."

I turned off the call, sighed, and gazed upon Light who obviously had listened to all our conversation. I felt it was very difficult since this was very personal. I was afraid that Light would be jealous and that she would not allow me to attend the event.

"Light...I...", I tried to say something, but the words did not leave my mouth. She stared at me and cornered me against the wall. Apparently, my suspicion was right. She was angry, I prepared for her to smack me and closed my eyes...

But then I felt that she quickly grabbed my ribs with her left hand and tickled me. I burst out laughing and put my head on her shoulders, she patted my hair and led me to enter the bakery, winking her eyes.

"I am not that insecure, Hope, " Light commented while smiling, putting her other hand on her chest, "I know that your heart already belongs to me...let's go together to Alyssa's party!" Light grabbed my waist from behind, pulled me to her side, and whispered in my ear, "If she tries to seduce you...I will kick her ass and teach her who is the boss."

After we finished choosing our wedding cake that Saturday, I replied to Alyssa to confirm that I would attend her party with Light.

It was June 10th at 540pm. Me and Light were preparing for Alyssa's party at Light's apartment. This was the first party I had ever attended in the New World, ahead of Serah and Snow's wedding - which would be three months after this. To be honest, I was very nervous about this. We practically did not know any people there and I still suspected Alyssa had ulterior motives for inviting me. Although, she was supposed to know that Light would also attend and would not do anything funny.

And it had been a while since I saw Light wear a dress. Her dressing style is mostly casual, with either polo-tees or buttoned shirts, paired with jeans or linen trousers. But now, she would be wearing the purple dress which she wore in Yusnaan and high heel shoes. I actually liked the style, it was refreshing since it reminded me of our time in the old world. For me, I would wear my grey tuxedo suit with bow tie and brown business shoes.

I was recalling who else that I knew in the Academy who was also close to Alyssa. I knew that she was quite a communicative person who outreached to many of my staff back then. And then I realized, we had not met our friends from previous adventures in this New World, Noel and Yeul.

"Light...", I prompted her, "Don't you think it is strange? She never told me if she would invite Noel...although he spent some time with me and her..."

"Ah, right." Light was facing the mirror while combing her hair, "I was just actually contacted by Serah, she confirmed that Noel and Yeul will also attend Alyssa's party. She said Alyssa also contacted her, so she will also come with Snow."

"Wow, great." I felt relieved that at least I could still meet our friends and would not be only me and Light, "How are Noel and Yeul? Are they also in Paris?"

"Nope, " Light replied while slowly applying light pink lipstick onto her lips, "Serah said that they were both reborn in a country named Japan...it is on the other side of the globe, so we cannot meet them too often..."

"That is very far, " I commented, sitting on the edge of the bed while putting on my shoes, "But are they ok there? What are they doing?"

"She never said more details...Fang and Vanille's whereabouts are also still unclear." Light snatched her car keys, our invitation card, and her white sling bag from the desk in front of the mirror, "I guess we can ask them later...". She grabbed my wrist and pulled me up, tilting her head towards the door, "Time to go, Hope."

I stood still while watching her dress and face, "I have never seen you this girly for so long." I grinned and teased her

She huffed and rolled her eyes, "Come on...it will be just six more months before I wear a wedding gown."

And so Light drove us to the Marriott hotel near her apartment. While we were in the elevator from the basement to the 7th floor, my mind was rewinding the events from the old world which I experienced together with Alyssa. The first time we met was when she gave a report about the arrival of Serah and Noel in Bresha Ruins to me, there there was the time when we investigated the Oracle Drive in Paddra Ruins, until the time when we worked together with the AI Fal'cie project in Augusta Tower.

I was wondering how she changed after all those times, from having an interest in me to later hating me because of her fear of disappearing due to the time paradox. Actually, at one time, I used to date her for a while. Light was still in Valhalla. However, as hard as it was, I still could not forget Light even after hundreds of years, even when I and Alyssa went out together. My dad actually complained that I should move on with my life and not fall in love with a woman who already passed away.

"Are you feeling nervous?" Light glanced at me, watching that I was sweating and my neck was wet, "Attending the birthday party of your previous girlfriend."

Instantly, I felt my cheeks blushing and I was embarrassed by what she said, "Light...you know that I only love you."

"Hope...let's be realistic, " she said, "Nobody in the previous world, especially a 24-years-old director, should have been denied the chance of having a normal relationship with a sweet and smart girl like her...just because of the memory of a dead woman who was trapped in another realm."

"But in the end, " I held her chin and kissed her, "My faith has paid off...you are with me now."

"But what if it did not?" Light prompted, "Would you still be single for your entire life for my sake?"

"We were not even sure if our world would survive at that time, " I argued, "So, marriage was the last thing on my mind...as long as New Cocoon was not finished, then our world is doomed for destruction."

Light chuckled and lightly punched my shoulder, "You are such an idealistic man."

"Says someone who planned to stay eternally in the realm of chaos to replace the goddess Etro...", I whispered and replied back. Light sighed, closed her eyes, and bowed her head, seemingly contemplating her past. She might have been thinking that if not because of my calling, she would be gone forever and locked with Bhunivelze.

Our conversation was interrupted by the sound of the elevator, its door opened and people around us walked out. We reached the 7th floor, what lay in front of us was the large ballroom with a podium at the other end. Around the ballroom, gentlemen with business suits and ladies with party gowns were sitting around dining tables, with a number displayed in the middle of each table. At the corner of the podium, there were many boxes covered with gift wrapping. I guessed they were prepared for a lucky draw.

Near each pillar around the ballroom, were the tables with beverages, juices and wine. I saw that a few cameramen walked around the hall and some of them were standing in front of a few people conducting interviews. From what I overheard, these people were high-level individuals in public organizations. I watched the seats which were located in the first row near the podium labeled "Reserved" from behind. Those could have been for Alyssa's immediate family, I supposed.

"It is quite a big party for 17-years-old, " I commented, "It is almost like a wedding reception." I looked at the number on the invitation card given by Alyssa, looking at the table layout shown on a large projector behind the podium. Apparently, the tables with smaller numbers were located near the podium and larger ones were behind. There were eight table rows and columns. Between the two rows and two columns, there were paths from where attendants were able to leave the table to the washrooms or halls outside.

| [01] [02] | | [03] [04] | | [05] [06] | | [07] [08] |

| [09] [10] | | [11] [12] | | [13] [14] | | [15] [16] |

-X-X-X-X-X-X -X-X-X-X-X-X -X-X-X-X-X-X -X-X-X-X-X-X

| [17] [18] | | [19] [20] | | [21] [22] | | [23] [24] |

| [25] [26] | | [27] [28] | | [29] [30] | | [31] [32] |

Our number was 13, meaning we would sit near the main path, facing the center of the podium. I wondered why Alyssa gave this number to us. I saw that all the people on the first row tables were dressed in white. My feeling was that those people sitting in the front rows were Alyssa's family. We were at the junction between table 12 and 13 when suddenly someone called us from behind.

"Hope! Lightning!", the female voice called me, "You two are so early..."

I turned around, and I saw Alyssa, dressed in a white gown with flower embroidery and several pink roses attached at the corner of her gown on her shoulder. Unlike in the old world, her hair had grown longer and she had made a braided ponytail out of it. She was accompanied by two young ladies, one elderly woman, and a man whom I thought were her parents and sisters. Both young ladies were also blonde, but one was taller than Alyssa and looked middle-age, whereas another one was the same height as her and looked to be in her twenties.

All of them were wearing white gowns but different rose colors. I recognized the elderly man as Prof Nathan Zaidelle, one of the experts in artificial intelligence in Ecole. After Alyssa's invitation two weeks ago, I did research to apply for a doctorate program in Ecole and his name is one faculty member I seriously considered as my advisor, as he has some publications related to ethics in artificial intelligence. However, I still hesitated because of a potential unwanted connection with Alyssa.

"Nice to meet you...happy birthday, Alyssa, " I greeted and shook her hand, "Looks like you were from a well-off family."

"Not as well-off as the son of Academy founder, " Alyssa replied, and I felt a bit awkward hearing her praise, "Hope - these are my sisters, Pauline and Cheryl. Pauline is working as a business consultant at McKenzie. Cheryl is a wedding organizer, so if both of you plan to marry in the future, you can consider contacting her." Alyssa glanced at Light who stood beside me and stretched her hand in greeting, "Nice to meet you too, Lightning."

Light chuckled, but shook Alyssa's hand firmly and both of them watched each other's eyes for awhile...I felt the atmosphere become intimidating...

"It was an honor to have my daughter work with you, Hope, " Prof Nathan went forward to break the uncomfortable silence. Instantly, Alyssa and Lightning released their handshake, "I heard from her all about when you established the Academy in New Pulse. I was a lecturer back in Eden before the Purge happened and I graduated in the same year as Bartholomew, we are from the same high school..."

Well, that was unexpected...so somehow my dad and Prof Nathan knew each other...It meant that my family and Alyssa's were somehow more related than I thought. No wonder she had no problem inviting me...

Prof Nathan withdrew a name card from his suit pocket and handed it to me, "I suppose you are still interested in becoming a researcher in this world. Unfortunately, our ages were assigned differently from the old world. My daughter now is 17, I think you should be 21." He stopped for a while and grinned, "...which means you need to work on your PhD first before you become a professor. I will always be available if you want to choose me as your advisor."

"Ok...thanks, Prof Nathan, " I responded, "I will keep you updated."

"Hope...I think you and Lightning should sit and enjoy the atmosphere. We will have a musical performance at 6pm, " Alyssa suggested, "I have assigned seats for you and all of your friends on table 13...so you can have a reunion with one another."

"Thanks for the arrangements, Alyssa, " Lightning replied with a wry smile on her face while glancing at her family.

Alyssa nodded and winked, "I wish the best for your relationship with Hope."

Not long after we sat at our table, I saw Serah and Snow arrive on the scene. Snow wore his black coat similar to what he wore when he was the patron of Yusnaan. He also had a spiky hairstyle and grew his beard. Serah wore a light brown, striped button shirt, transparent yellow vest, and short skirt. She also wore a polka dot headband on her hair. Both of them looked cheerful when they saw us. Immediately, Serah ran forward and hugged Light whereas I did high-five with Snow.

"Nice event to meet at after our rebirth, Hope." Snow grinned, teasing me, "Are you guys adjusting well to this world?"

"Things are peaceful...this world is so big so me and Light have spent our time traveling to many places in France for first few months...", I explained, "Last week, we rode chocobo together outside Paris at Sazh's farm..."

Serah was bewildered when hearing my story, "How come you have such free time? I thought you would be director of the Academy?"

I sighed, "Somehow, I was reborn in this world inside my house with my dad and mom in Paris. And in their room, they have my birth cert - which was somehow created magically -, and it stated I am 21 years old right now. So, don't say director...I am currently not even a graduate student yet."

"And for some people, they have memories of us as if we were alive for awhile in this world, " Light added, "But they do not have memories of old world...how about both of you?"

"I actually have not said this to you...but when we were reborn, I totally forgot what happened after the fall of Cocoon, " Serah confessed, "I was at my apartment and I just knew that I was a teacher, I was currently engaged to Snow, and I had a sister who was a policewoman...I didn't even know anything about Etro, Bhunivelze, or Yeul...like during our time resolving paradoxes...But I have detailed knowledge of this world, like I knew that I was in France and Bordeaux, I knew the address of my apartment, and I knew the name of my students."

"Wow, that's quite interesting, isn't it, " I commented and listened intently.

"So, how do you recover your memory, Serah?" Light asked her with focused eyes.

"When I touched her, " Snow replied, "When we were reborn, we somehow had each others' number in our cell phone. We met and dated for a while...and every time we touched one another, she experienced flashbacks from our past...For me, I still remembered what happened in the old world, but do not have any knowledge of this world...I cannot even speak French fluently, but Serah can."

"And finally...we found all of you, " a man's voice spoke from behind Serah and Snow.

I was curious and turned my head. I realized that Noel and Yeul were standing behind us. They greeted us one by one and sat at our table. The musical performance had finally started and it turned out that Cheryl, one of Alyssa's sisters, went to the stage and played the piano. Instantly, I recognized the song as the background music of Sunleth Waterscape in Cocoon. And she started to sing at the same time.

Step into the rainbow

World you never knew

Chase the arcs of light

Soar beyond your sorrows

Dance among the colors

Let them be your dreams

Close your eyes and see anew

Dawn of a new day

Clears all the gloom away

This is the hope that we need to go on

I was impressed by her voice. She repeated the song three times, and all the audience stood and gave her a huge applause by the end of her performance.

"Noel and Yeul, what are you doing in this new world?", I asked them, "Do you like your new environment?"

"I am a stunt actor in Japan, while Yeul is a Shinto priestess (miko), " Noel explained, "I would say I really enjoy the thrill, but I need to be careful here as our bodies seem more fragile compared to the old world. And no more access to magic."

I was excited to learn that and prompted him further, "What are your daily activities like?"

"Mostly related to sword fighting and platforming. I did long jumping on rooftops, acrobatic actions, rope climbing, and many more...The simulated battle itself is mostly quite light compared to a real battle with a Bahemoth or Cyclops in the old world...Mostly the scenes are safe as we have safety equipment, " Noel replied, "But the schedule is very hectic...repeating the scene, day and night for several months..."

"What things are required to become a stunt actor?", Light asked curiously, "Sounds like fun compared to what I am doing."

"Still the same Lightning, " Noel commented and chuckled, "Cannot seem to adjust to the normal world, can you? Anyway, that depends on the scene you need to perform. If you perform a fighting scene, you need to be certified preferably by the national association of martial arts for advanced level...but right now, I understand that you are a member of the police force...I think you should be able to apply for an exemption..."

Lightning nodded, "But I suppose I cannot participate in those stunt scenes if I am still working at my job currently..."

"There are pros and cons, it is true that the pay is good, but the competition is tough. Mostly, you need some experience in acting as well...the working hours are insane, and mostly it is contract work...for me this job will end after 3 months...I think you are better off in this aspect, Lightning. It is a routine but stable job."

"Anyway...", Yeul interrupted, "I heard that Serah and Snow will marry soon, and that Lightning and Hope will follow afterward...congratulations to the four of you!"

"Uh, yeah, " I answered her nervously, "When I was reborn, I was immediately contacted by a guy who claimed to be my wedding organizer. He said I have already booked a place at a resort outside Paris for my wedding venue with Lightning..."

"Interesting world, isn't it? When Bhunivelze said he created his new world, actually the planet had already been inhabited. What he created is just the memory of the people who used to live in Nova Chrysalia for its original inhabitants...", Yeul postulated, "The God of this universe created both the spirit of humans and also the physical world. Furthermore, God with its demigods, referred by humans as angels, mostly reside in the spiritual realm and are not like Fal'Cie that could physically interact with us.."

"You mean that most times, gods of this world cannot be seen?" Serah clarified, "But then how do we knew that they exist?"

"Recently, I received a revelation...", Yeul confessed, "Unlike in our world, they do not have Oracle Drive here, but gods can communicate through dreams. Recently, I was warned that although the world is in a peaceful state, we still need to be watchful as there are evil people who try to rule this world secretly."

"So, it means that even now you are still seer, " Light concluded, "Do we know the identity of these people?"

Yeul shook their head, "There is no single individual leading these people, but the organization for these people is known as Freemasonry in the Western world..."

"I heard that name somewhere, " I commented, "That people that were involved in this organization are secretly communicating with a demonic entity, although most media and politicians dismissed this as conspiracy theory."

"Many powerful people in this world are involved in Freemasonry or connected to them in some way, " Yeul claimed, "But unlike l'Cie in our world, they are humans and mostly unable to do magic. And so far, they are not bent on destroying the world, just that they like to obtain power to enrich themselves by exploiting less fortunate humans."

"Sounds much better than fighting Fal'cie or Bhunivelze, " Snow commented, "Anyway, are you guys married?"

"Yes, I learned from the civil registrar that I had married Noel when we were reborn...and we already live together in one house, " Yeul answered while glancing at Noel, "It is a good thing as we do not need to prepare for our wedding."

I felt that my phone was vibrating inside my pocket, I took it out and checked the messaging apps while they still talked.

[Hope, Alyssa here...Can we talk outside the ballroom at the lobby? Only the two of us...]

Although I did not feel very comfortable, I excused myself from my friends and Light and said I wanted to go to toilet. I knew that I was not supposed to lie, but I sensed that Alyssa needed to inform me about something important. I headed to the lobby and saw there was a transparent glass window facing outside, with many sofas near the windows. There were some vending machines on the corner and an information counter at the center. I saw that Alyssa was sitting on the sofa nearest to the information counter, her facial expression looked anxious and she repeatedly glanced at her watch.

I sighed, and quickly walked approached her from the hall. After awhile, she finally noticed me and looked so happy. I sat on the sofa opposite to her and across from a glass table.

"Hope...thanks for coming here, " Alyssa started, "I promise that it will not be long."

"Ok, so what do you want to say?" I asked.

"I will be joining Ecole as an undergraduate student in computer science next year, " she confessed, gazing upon me nervously with hopeful eyes.

"You cannot be serious, Alyssa!", I was shocked and replied in loud tone, "I am about to get married and you still want to approach me?"

"Hope, both of us are staying in Paris...", Alyssa tried to explain, "And Ecole is the best university here. I am the same as you, I still want to be a researcher in this new world..."

"Why are you telling me this? Don't tell me you plan to work together with me on some projects at Ecole...", I asked, feeling suspicious while narrowing my eyes, ''Beside, I applied for Ecole because I will be married to Lightning. You are still single, you can attend universities overseas. Many of them are even better than Ecole..."

"I still want to work with you professionally, Hope, " Alyssa claimed, "I am not asking you to have an affair with me. I will not disturb your relationship with Lightning."

"But this is complicated...because we used to date each other, " I argued, "I do not think Lightning will like it..."

"Initially, I also thought so. But she permitted you to attend this party...", Alyssa gazed upon my eyes and leaned back, "We are people from the old world, and our way of doing research is very different from the native inhabitants. For you, it is also easier to work with me compared to your other colleagues..."

"Well, I can always adjust, " I postulated, "Sooner or later, I need to adapt myself to their ways of thinking. We live on this planet anyway."

"That is true, " Alyssa nodded and admitted. She became silent for awhile, and then tears started to flow from her eyes, "But, I am still your best friend. Even more than Lightning, Serah, or Snow. I am more similar to you than all of them. Our family backgrounds are the same and our parents knew each other. We have the same profession and interests. We have worked together for centuries. If you are honest with yourself, you would know it is true."

My heart pumped hard and I was consumed by a sense of guilt. I became sad and realized Alyssa told me the truth. When Light was trapped in Valhalla, we shared each others' feelings related to the Academia project and how it would benefit society and I remembered that I always felt so enthusiastic every time I talked to her. But somehow, I could not bring myself to be attracted to her. I only love Light, but I still thought of Alyssa as my close friend.

Can men and women be close friends without being a couple? I knew that it was possible if they had some family connections, like Light and Snow but Alyssa and me were not connected by family. Normally, one of the partners becomes consumed by jealousy and they either separate or divorce. But Light knew about our relationship as she told me earlier.

"Even if I cannot own you, it will hurt if you won't talk to me forever...", Alyssa sobbed, "How about you, Hope? Won't you feel hurt when our friendship ends?"

I wanted to reply her, but suddenly I was struggling to find words. I did not answer her and both of us remained silent for some time.

"I have finished what I wanted to say." Alyssa wiped her tears and stood up, "Thanks for taking time to meet me here, Hope...enjoy your time with Lightning and the others."