A/N: Thank you all so much for reading. I'm glad you're interested. I adore these characters so it makes me happy to know that some of you are enjoying it. Please let me know what you think and enjoy! Btw, please let me know if you prefer the longer chapters or ones this size. Thanks!

Chapter 31: Making a Choice

He who cannot give anything away cannot feel anything either.
-Friedrich Nietzsche

The door opened again.

"Ms. Noble?"

I looked up at the voice. Sam was standing there in a suit. If it was Sam. His eyes hardened at the sight of me. I was curled up on the chair, as close as I could get.

"What did you do to her?" he asked quietly.

"Nothing. She wouldn't talk," Carter said. "You know how it is."

Sam's jaw clenched. Carter released the cuffs from the chain. He motioned me forward. Sam's hand went to touch my back. I flinched out of his reach. It looked like Sam, but there were a lot of things that could change their look.

"I'll take it from here," he said to the Detective.

He motioned me forwards and I was led, still cuffed, to the front of the station. Sam stopped as we got to the reception. The lady at the counter glared at me. I stared back until she recoiled and turned away.

Sam cleared his throat. I looked over to see Dean standing over Kelly who was sitting in the waiting area. Dean turned to Kelly.

"Miss, I suggest you get your friend here a lawyer," he said. Kelly glared back. Sam touched my back. I stiffened at it. The last time someone touched me was the pat down where he took his time making sure I had nothing hidden. Sam motioned for me to follow him. I glanced over at Kelly. She wasn't moving. Dean stepped up behind me though and ushered me forwards.

We walked a little further than I expected, just enough out of view from the station. Sam turned and started to pick the locks on the cuffs.

"You okay?" he asked, glancing up at me. I didn't respond. It was dark out. I had been stuck in that room for the entire day. I took a deep breath. The handcuffs dropped off of me and I rubbed my wrists, trying to get the feeling of them off. Sam's hand touched my wrist but I pulled it away. I didn't want to be touched.

"How did they find out?" I asked quietly. "They asked for me by name when they showed up. How?"

Dean cleared his throat before he spoke up. "Jane said it was Logan. He had your phone."

Anger that I had been trying to control flared up in me. I clenched my fists together, trying to gain some semblance of it back.

"Eric's coming," Dean broke through my concentration. "He's gonna do the mind wipe thingy. Erase you from the whole system. All of it."

I nodded. I'd owe him if he managed it. I didn't know what I could offer, but I would owe him something. That was another problem. Nothing good came from owing a vampire anything.

Kelly came quickly down the street to the Impala. She walked up to us, looking over me quickly.

"I am going to kill Logan," I said. I felt like it would be true too. I would if I saw him now.

"Bold of you to assume that Jane hasn't already," she said dryly. "I did punch him for you though."

"Good. Let's go."

I was silent on the drive back. I felt like all of them kept looking at me. It was almost worse than being alone. When we finally arrived at the house, I left the car quickly. I raced upstairs, away from everyone else. I didn't want questions. I didn't want stares. I wanted to run, to shower and to erase everything from my own head. I slammed the bedroom door behind me.

I felt myself start to pace once I was in the room. The devil's trap was above me. I was safe. I was safe here. All the panic that I had forced down before was bubbling back up.

The door opened. I turned, feeling ramped up enough to fight someone if I had to. The anxious restlessness felt like it was going to explode out of me. Sam came in.

I stared at him. He walked through the trap with ease. Nothing settled though.

"Michelle," his voice was soft. "Hey, it's okay, you're home." I looked away. It wasn't okay. I wasn't supposed to be here. This wasn't supposed to happen. "Sweetheart, come on, talk to me."

I shook my head. He came closer, reaching for me. I stepped to the side, away from him. "I can't." The words came out on their own. "I can't do this."

His brow furrowed. "Do what?"

I swallowed the lump that grew in my throat. "I can't do this anymore. I can't...I can't be with you anymore." It felt like something should have clicked into place as I said it. Nothing did though. I just wanted to leave. I wanted him to leave.

His eyes widened. "What? Michelle, come on," his hand touched my arm. I inched back, just out of reach. "What are you talking about?"

"I can't do this. I'm sorry." I wrapped my arms around myself. I needed this to be over. He blinked, looking for all the world like he was in shock and didn't know what to say. It was better like this. It had to be better like this. I had to go home and he wasn't a part of that. He couldn't be if I could go home. "I'm sorry," I repeated.

He scoffed and turned, heading for the door before he stopped. "No," he turned back, shaking his head. "No, that's not true. You know it's not true. I won't let you do this."

"What?" I looked over at him. "You won't let me?" My eyes narrowed.

"No. You just went through something and you're lashing out, okay? Just talk to me. Let me help."

"You can't help me."

"God damn it, Michelle!" I looked at him in surprise. He was angry. I had never seen him angry, not in person. "I'm not letting you push me away!"

"It has nothing to do with you," I ground out.

"The hell it doesn't!" He strode forwards. He reached out for me again and I felt something in me snap. Everything I had been feeling turned into anger at the fact he was fighting me on this. Why couldn't I make a fucking choice anymore?

"Don't touch me!" I snapped back as I moved out of his reach. I went around him, towards the door. "I said it's over! Get out!" I screamed as I opened it and motioned for him to leave.

"No! I'm not going anywhere," he stormed forwards, glaring down at me. "You've got to stop fucking running and let people in!"

"The hell I do!" I snarled back, insulted at the truth of his comment. "You can't help!"

"You won't let me fucking try!"

"Fuck you!" The swear slipped out. He stared at me like he had never seen me before. He moved, faster than I expected. Both of his hands cupped my cheeks as he leaned down and kissed me hard. I shoved him back, well aware that I could lose my resolve if I let him. He reached for me again. I slapped him as hard as I could before I could stop myself. His mouth fell open in shock as he turned back to look at me. I couldn't ignore the hurt or anger in his eyes or the way his jaw clenched. I broke eye contact first.

"Get out. Please." I felt him move around me before the door slammed behind him. My legs stopped supporting me and I fell to the ground. My throat tightened and everything slammed back into me. The anger faded and left me with only fear and anguish. I couldn't stop myself from crying.

I leaned forwards, trying to get my body to stop heaving with sobs, to calm down so I could breathe again. I felt arms wrap around me, touching my back. They were too small to be Sam's, but they were familiar.

"It's okay," I heard Kelly's voice. "It's okay."

Once the sobbing finally subsided, I sat back. I felt as terrible as I likely looked. Kelly was still there. She was waiting, her arm around me.

"What happened?" she asked quietly.

I wiped at my face. I was suddenly exhausted. "I broke up with him."

"Why?" She didn't look as surprised as I thought she would.

"I…" I didn't know how to explain it. She didn't seem to have this problem. "I can't do it anymore. I just...Ican't."

She was silent for a moment before she nodded. "Okay." She sighed. "Okay." She stayed before I asked her to pass my iPod. I turned up the music and lay down on the bed, facing away from her. She was gone when I next looked.

I woke up slowly. My head was fuzzy. Despite the fact that I fell asleep without meaning to, I still felt terrible. The room was empty. Someone had left a sandwich and some water next to the bed. I hadn't heard anyone come in. I sat up in the bed. The sun was rising outside the window. I should have been outside already, greeting it with Jane. I didn't feel like moving though. I didn't feel like anything.

I ate the sandwich quickly before I got up and got dressed. I couldn't stay in here alone with my thoughts. I had enough of that. I needed to go running.

The house was quiet. It was the strange time of morning when the vampires had gone to sleep but no one else had woken up yet. I moved through the house slowly, trying not to wake anyone. Klaus was passed out on the couch again. I stepped outside. The air was crisp and there was enough of a chill to raise goosebumps on my arms. The Impala was gone. I looked away. It was my fault, but I couldn't let myself regret it. I stretched quickly before I took off running.

I pushed myself as fast as I could go. Despite the fact that it almost felt like I was flying at points, it wasn't helping. The ache that had settled in my chest didn't dissipate. I finally stopped, panting for air and trying not to cry in frustration. I wasn't sure what was worse, the fact that I had been left alone, scared that I wasn't going to survive, or the fact that those feelings kept coming back. I hadn't been able to feel normal, like I used to, since I walked into this world. Nothing seemed to help keep them away.

"You cannot run from yourself." I looked up to see Jane standing in front of me. "I see it in your form, your posture. There are things we must ask the Goddess for strength to face and do so willingly. You were not like this before you were stolen by those men. What did they do to you?"

I stood up slowly, watching her carefully for a reaction, a start to a fight. There was none. She stood there calmly, waiting for an answer. "They arrested me." She looked confused and I tried to explain. "They thought...they thought I murdered the people that the demon killed, the ones I knew before I met you. They locked me to a table in a room and took the hex bag off of me. They kept asking me why I did it, showing me pictures of the bodies. I didn't," my throat tightened and my voice choked. "I didn't think I was going to get out. I thought I was going to die there." Tears started falling. I wiped them away quickly, trying not to break down in front of her. I was already tired of crying.

Her arms came around me and I was pulled into a hug. I froze. Jane had never hugged any of us before. This was weird. She let go and clasped her hands on my arms near my shoulders. "You yet live. You survived an ambush, something that they thought would break you and yet you stand, as strong and tall as the trees around us. The Goddess has gifted you with this strength. She will see you well."

I stared at her as the words processed. "Thanks," I said slowly. I was certain it was something that was meant to be heartwarming and encouraging. It didn't provide a sudden change in how I felt, but it was nice that she was trying, in her own way.

"Come. We shall train. You will work through this fear and come out stronger."

I felt like I could barely move after training with Jane. Once we had gone through the standard strength exercises we did every time, we fought. She had increased her speed, forcing me to increase mine or be hit. She had also used moves that I had never seen her do before and expected me to be able to replicate them. It was not easy. I was likely covered in more bruises from one session than I had been through the others.

I limped in through the back door. I was about two steps in when Dean appeared, grabbing my arms and dragging me back out. I hadn't realized they returned.

"We need to talk," he said. I knew what this was about. I let him pull me until we were on the back steps before I wrenched my arm from his grip. I leaned against the back wall of the house and waited.

"What the hell happened between you and Sam?" He whirled on me, glaring.

"That's between us, don't you think?"

"Not when he comes storming down looking like you ripped the heart out of his chest. He's sitting in the motel depressed over your ass." Dean stepped forward. "So what happened?"

I sighed and looked away. "I broke up with him."

"Yeah, I got that much. Why?"

"It wasn't working."

"The hell it wasn't. What the fuck happened in that police station?"

I glanced up. He was angry and glaring at me like I had shot his dog...or more appropriately, hurt Sam. And I had. I just didn't have an answer that he'd like. "Nothing."

"It's not nothing. Nothing wouldn't have you reacting like this and hurting Sam."

"It's nothing, I just changed my mind, okay?"

"No, it's not okay!" he stepped forward again as if trying to use his size against me. I pushed myself off the wall. "You're breaking Sam's heart!"

"He'll be fine!" I snapped.

"Yeah," he looked away and ran a hand down his face. "He will be." Dean walked off, heading back inside.

I leaned back against the house and closed my eyes. I knew Sam wasn't going to take it well, I just...I didn't know what I expected. I almost wanted it all just to be over, for everything to go back to normal. I wanted to go home. I had already left Sam, why couldn't I leave everything else here and see my family? My heart ached at the thought. Why couldn't any of this be simple?

[tbc]