A/N: Thank you all so much if you've read this far! I hope you're enjoying it. As always, please let me know what you think. You can also come find me on Tumblr at asirensrage where I post things on my ocs and fics.

Chapter 36: Control

"Do you know why people like violence? It is because it feels good.
Humans find violence deeply satisfying.
But remove the satisfaction, and the act becomes hollow."
― Alan Turing - The Imitation Game

I was full by the time I finished my burger. Kelly had asked us all to move so she could go to the bathroom. Eric wandered off as we ate. Spike followed before coming back to grab Remy so that he could join a poker game that Spike had apparently found.

Dean was picking off the fries I had leftover when he got a text. He grinned and made Lafayette move before he left as well.

Lafayette raised his eyebrows as he sat back down. "That is one fine piece of ass to be walking away."

"That's my brother," Sam said.

Lafayette looked at him. "Oh don't worry, I like my men big, mm…" his eyes trailed down Sam. I tried not to laugh as Sam looked uncomfortable before he moved his arm so that it rested on my shoulders. He pulled me in closer to him.

Lafayette got up. "Imma find my own company." He waved us off before leaving.

I couldn't hold in my giggles once he was gone. Sam looked down at me confused. "You looked so uncomfortable."

"You think that's funny?"

"A little," I smiled up at him. He leaned down and kissed me. It was soft and slow. He pulled back and I blinked up at him, a little dazed. His lips twitched like he was holding back a smile when he saw it.

"How are you feeling?" Sam asked. We were close enough that he didn't have to raise his voice for me to hear him. "Being here."

"Okay, I think. Still kind of anxious. I don't like being surrounded by people I don't know." I looked around. "Especially when there's no protections in this place." I caught sight of the table of women Kelly had pointed out before. A couple of them looked like they were glaring at me. I stared back. They didn't hold my gaze long, choosing to look away and go back to talking amongst themselves.

"Michelle?"

I looked back at Sam, a little caught off guard. I had blanked out slightly while staring them down. "Sorry."

"It's okay." His hand stroked my shoulder. "I'm here."

"I know, that's why they're glaring."

He frowned at me. "Who?" I nodded towards the table. Sam turned to look then turned back to me. "Oh. Dean usually enjoys the attention more than I do. I've never been that comfortable with it."

I scowled. "Is he still enjoying it? Because if he hurts Kelly…" I trailed off, unsure of which threat I wanted to go with.

"No!" Sam recovered quickly. "No, he...he, uh, only looks at Kelly now. It's cute."

I looked at Sam suspiciously before nodding. "He better." I took a sip of my water again before I leaned back. It was a little uncomfortable with Sam's arm there but I tried to make it work. "Kelly said he was going to help her set up a life here. She's not going back regardless of what happens."

"He will," Sam said. "He keeps his word." He paused for a moment before continuing. "What about you?"

"Me? What about me?"

"What are you going to do?"

I looked at him and shrugged. "I don't know. Figure it out, I guess. I mean, I don't know what I'll do if Kelly decides she wants to live with Dean or something. I don't think it's that far though. Actually, I should talk to her about that…" I considered it. I didn't think Kelly would just leave me, at least not instantly. If anything I assumed we'd remain together.

"Are you going to set up a life? Here?"

A tightness grew in my chest. I tried to ignore it. "I'll have to, I guess. As much as I can. I don't know what that entails." Maybe it would be similar to moving to another city. I had never moved cities before. I had no idea what it took.

"I'll help," Sam stared down at me. "Whatever you need, Michelle. You have me."

"Thanks," I smiled up at him. I had no idea where things were headed but it was nice to have someone willing to help. Then again, it seemed like Sam had no intention of letting me go. Lucifer's words rang in my head: unhealthy attachment…. I shook my head, trying to get rid of them.

"You okay?" Sam was staring down at me concerned.

"Yeah," I lied. Lucifer was stuck in my head with his words and the dreams. I wouldn't lay it on him too.

Sam jolted for a second and he leaned away from me as he pulled out a phone. He answered it.

"Hello? Dean?" There was a pause. "What do you mean you can't...okay, hold on. We'll meet you out there." He hung up and turned back to me. "Dean and Kelly got kicked out, they can't get back in. Are you ready to go?"

"Yes!" I said quickly. I had been putting myself through this for Kelly. While nothing bad had happened, I had no intention of sticking around if I didn't have to.

Sam smiled at me. "Okay, come on." He got out of the booth and then reached for my hand. He intertwined our fingers and held it tightly before he led the way out. It didn't take long for us to reach the exit.

Kelly and Dean were standing by the Impala. Kelly was leaning on the car, looking like she was laughing while Dean was standing in front of her, his hands on her hips. He was grinning down at her.

"What the hell happened?" Sam asked as we got closer.

Dean grinned wider as he looked at us. "Just a misunderstanding." Kelly started laughing harder.

I couldn't help but smile at the two of them. It was cute. I had no idea what happened but they looked like they were having a good time. Kelly looked happy. That was all I could ask for from her in this world. The lingering fear and tension from Lucifer's words faded.

"Wait here, okay? I'll find one of the others and give them the keys." He kissed the top of my head and left me there with Kelly and Dean.

I raised an eyebrow at the two of them. "So what really happened?"

Kelly grinned at me. "Nothing you need to be concerned about, but we kind of got banned."

"It's all her fault," Dean said.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Kelly turned to him. "I didn't hear you complaining."

Dean leaned down to whisper something in her ear. I turned around looking for Sam. The two of them seemed fairly amorous so I had a theory why they got banned.

Sam came out of the bar and jogged towards us. "I found Eric. Gave him the keys."

"Alright, get in. Sammy, you're in the back," Dean said before he opened the passenger door and motioned for Kelly to get in.

Sam sighed. "Dean, you've been drinking. Give the keys to Michelle."

"I'm fine to drive," Dean scoffed.

"You just got kicked out of a bar."

"Wasn't because I was drunk," Dean smirked. Kelly started laughing again. Sam just looked exasperated. His words finally hit.

"Wait, you want me to drive?" My eyes widened and I grinned at both of them.

"Just give her the keys, man. She's the only one out of all of us who hasn't been drinking."

Dean grumbled for a moment before he tossed me the keys. I held them tightly.

"Really?" I asked. I started bouncing slightly on my toes.

"Get in before I change my mind," Dean said. I nearly ran to the other side. This was the most exciting thing to ever happen. As I sat down in the driver's seat, I tried to contain my excitement. I put my hands on the wheel and took a deep breath.

"Oh my god," I muttered, trying to contain my grin. "May I?" I asked Dean as he got in the passenger seat next to me. I motioned to the mirrors.

"Yeah, don't want you crashing her just because you can't see."

I looked at him in shock. "I would never!" I glanced in the rearview mirror as I adjusted it. Kelly and Sam were sitting in the back. The image of it was hilarious. Sam looked like he took up a lot of space whereas Kelly...did not.

"See!" Kelly leaned forwards from the back. "Good thing you came out! You get to drive Baby!"

"This makes it worth it," I agreed. Driving the Impala was a dream that I never expected to actually happen.

I started the car and couldn't contain my smile. I was tempted to ask if we could just drive instead of going back to the house, but after the other night, I didn't think it would be appreciated. I listened as Dean gave suggestions and drove us home.

The good mood lasted the entire drive.

I was in awe of driving the Impala and Dean seemed to realize that I gave her the respect she deserved. Kelly kept making comments from the back that I ignored. I wanted to enjoy this in case it never happened again.

Kelly and Dean were laughing as we walked up the porch stairs. Sam looked like he was trying not to join in as Dean continued the story.

"So then he goes and just crashes into it," Dean said. We could hear the smile in his voice.

"We should have a fire!" Kelly called out. "It's a nice night! Let's get some beers and marshmallows."

"Do we have marshmallows?" I asked as I looked back and grinned. I opened the front door. Despite my hesitations, this had been a good night. It had been easier than I expected.

We headed for the kitchen. There were voices in the living room. I looked in and stopped.

Logan was standing in the middle of the living room with Veronica. Fury burned through me. I stared at him, forcing myself not to move. He had gotten me arrested.

It felt like everything else in the room disappeared as I watched the kid in front of me. I took a deep breath and clenched my fists. He was a kid, I reminded myself. I wouldn't hurt a kid. That didn't stop me from wanting to though. I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to pull myself out of it.

Kelly stepped up next to me and wrapped her hand around my wrist. It broke my focus. I looked over at her. She nodded at me before turning to Logan.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"You can't keep me in the woods forever," he said.

"There's nowhere else to go," Veronica spoke up. "I brought him here. I'm sorry."

Kelly's grip tightened for a moment. "It's not you that has to apologize." She looked back at Logan. "I could be mad, but I just had a great night and I'm not letting a pest like you ruin that for me. It's up to Michelle if you can stay here. Apologize to her."

He looked over at me. For a second it looked like he was going to smirk but something stopped him. I stared, waiting.

"I'm sorry," he said. He looked at Veronica. "I made a mistake. I thought I was...I was just trying to protect us." He looked like he was going to say more but didn't.

"It's fine," I said. My voice sounded almost hollow. "You can stay." I wasn't going to kick a kid out into this world, even if he was an asshole. I moved forward. Kelly's hold on my wrist stopped me for a moment before I looked at her and nodded. I could control myself. She let go. I walked up to Logan. He looked surprisingly nervous. "You are very lucky that I didn't see you when I got back." I grabbed his shirt and yanked him down to my level. I lowered my voice. "Don't ever do something like that again. Got it?" I shoved him back, turned and left. It felt like electricity was running under my skin but not in a good way.

I practically ran upstairs and changed into something I could run in. I needed to get out of this house. Kelly was at the bottom of the stairs.

"You okay?"

"I need to go." I pushed past her. Sam and Dean were standing on the porch. I shoved my way through.

"Michelle!"

"Hey! Wait!"

Someone grabbed my arm as I got on the grass. I turned, swinging at whoever it was. Sam blocked my fist.

"Where the hell are you going?" He stared down at me, alarmed.

"Let go. I need to run, Sam."

"What?"

"I need to go running," I tried to explain. The anger was flooding through me. I either needed to fight or run. Running was easier right now.

"Michelle," his voice was hard. "Talk to me."

"I want to kill him," I snapped. "I'm angry and I'm trying not to take it out on anyone, okay? So let me go. I need to run. I'll go around the property. Just let me go. Please."

"I can come with you," he said.

I shook my head. "I need to be alone. I'll be back."

He looked like he was going to argue some more before he stopped himself. "Just stay close. You have your phone, right?"

I nodded and he let go. I used the opportunity to take off towards my usual path. I picked up speed. I just needed this gone. I didn't want to hurt anyone.

I finally felt calm.

I slowed down before stopping and stretching. The feelings had faded the longer I ran. I knew they would. My anger was familiar and something I had been dealing with long before I had ever arrived here. I usually blasted music and walked until I calmed down. This felt better.

The fire was still burning. I walked over slowly. The others were illuminated by the flames. Kelly was next to Dean but Sam was alone. I was a little surprised that no one else had joined. They all looked over as I got closer. I sat down next to Sam and leaned forward. The adrenaline of the anger was fading.

"Hey," Sam touched my back as he turned towards me. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I sat up. "Sorry. I just-I needed...an outlet," I said, for lack of a better word.

"I know."

I gave him a small smile. If anyone could have understood, it was him. It should have been a little alarming we both had our anger issues, but it was kind of comforting.

"Come here." Sam's arm went around my waist and he pulled me into his side. I leaned my head against his shoulder. Between him and the fire, I was warm. I felt him kiss the top of my head. My eyes started closing and I blinked, trying to keep them open. I fell asleep.

I woke up slowly. My head was throbbing. There was a weight on my body. I tensed before turning to look at what it was. Sam was lying next to me with his arm over me. He looked peaceful. I moved slowly, lifting his arm and slipping out of the bed. I looked down at him. He shifted but didn't wake up.

I got dressed and left the room. The sun looked like it was just starting to rise which meant I had time before Five found me. The house was silent except for one thing: Kelly was making coffee in the kitchen. She looked up as I entered.

"You look as bad as I feel. We need more beds," she said. "I fucked my neck up sleeping in the Impala again." She rubbed the side of her neck. "Coffee?"

I shook my head. "No, I have training with Five soon. Thanks." She nodded and poured herself a cup. I rubbed my temples. "My head hurts."

"Yeah, same. I get that I'm a bit hungover, but what's your excuse?"

I shrugged, sat down at the table and tried to wake myself up. "Think I'll be able to drive it again?" I looked up at her and smiled.

"I'm sure I can convince him," Kelly said. She grinned over the cup. "You looked super cute last night." I frowned and tilted my head, hoping she'd explain. "At the fire. Sam carried you in."

"Ah," I hadn't even thought about how I got inside. That made sense.

"Well, look who's on time." Five appeared on the kitchen counter. "Hand me a coffee," he motioned to Kelly.

"Aren't we training?" I asked.

"If you hit me while I'm drinking this, it'll be a miracle. Meet me outside." He disappeared with the coffee.

I looked at Kelly. "Wanna join?"

"Fuck no. It is too early." She waved me off. "Go have fun." I laughed a little before I got up and stretched. I headed out the back door alone.

[tbc]