A/N: The scene at the fire is one of my favourites. I hope you enjoy it as well. Thank you all so much for reading. I hope you like it. As always, please let me know what you think. Come find me on tumblr at asirensrage for oneshots, moodboards and manips of this fic.

Chapter 45: Bonds of Sisterhood

"Bond is stronger than blood.
The family grows stronger by bond."
– Itohan Eghide

The thing no one tells you about paintballs is that they hurt like hell when you get hit with them. Especially since we were only wearing leggings and a shirt. When Five finally let up, we were covered in bruises and bright blue paint.

"Ow. Ow. Ow." Kelly said as we both clamoured inside the house.

"What happened to you?"

I looked up to see Lafayette and Klaus standing together in the kitchen. "Five."

"Fucking Five," Kelly muttered as she kept walking. "I'm going to shower."

"What the fuck did he do to you? Isn't he twelve?" Lafayette asked.

"I'm fifty-eight, asshole," Five answered as he popped into the kitchen. "I'm just stuck as thirteen. And I'm teaching them tactical evasion."

I really wanted to just sit down. I couldn't do that covered in paint though.

"Tactical evasion?" Lafayette looked confused. "Why the fuck do they need to know that?"

"In case someone shoots them," Five said, tilting his head to stare at the man.

"Who the fuck's going to be shooting these bitches?"

"Anyone who wants them dead. The faster they learn to avoid it, the longer they'll live."

I could see the argument brewing. "It's a good idea," I spoke up, trying to diffuse it. "Unconventional, sure, but it makes you think on your feet. I'll take any advantage I can get." Five smirked at me. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to shower."

I stared at myself in the mirror. The paint was hell to get out of my hair and I still caught specks of blue that I somehow missed. It had been a long time since I stared at my reflection. I was in my bedroom and I could hear someone running down the hall. I made a face at my reflection and tried not to show the relief I felt when it matched. It still didn't look like me. The gauntness of my face was gone. I still looked stressed and tired, but I was more solid. Training had built up a fair amount of muscle that while I didn't quite look like I did before I came into this world, I looked alive. I looked strong. It was weird to see. I didn't feel strong.

The rest of the day passed oddly. The house was full of life and somehow everything was louder now that it was bigger. Maybe everyone just stopped trying to be cautious, but it was likely that having their own space let people relax. Eventually, I found myself back outside as the sun set, watching as Kelly and Jane built up a fire.

"Oh," Logan drawled. He paused as I turned to look at him. "Time to tell ghost stories and braid each other's hair?"

"You are not welcome," Jane spoke up.

He scowled. "I said sorry."

"It is not you," she moved towards him. "No others are invited this night. The moon is full and I would convene with the heads of our tribe."

He blinked. I raised my eyebrows. I had no idea we were doing something more than a fire. I looked over at Kelly who just shrugged.

"Okay…" Logan turned and walked back inside.

"What's that about?" I asked, nodding towards where he had retreated. Jane turned to me and nodded to the fire they were still building. It was going to be huge.

"Tonight we will speak our truths to the fire. Your names are chosen well and I will mark you with the symbols of our tribe and your status."

"Mark us?" Kelly asked.

Jane nodded. "Like mine," she touched one of her arms.

"Oh."

"You're going to do it?" I asked. "How?"

"The way it has been done in my tribe. I have the materials. I have marked many before you and I will mark many after. Allow me this honour."

"Well, I already have a couple tattoos, what's some more?" I shrugged.

"As long as it's pretty," Kelly said. "I'm in. Do we start the fire first?"

"I will call upon the blessings of the Goddess. Then we shall begin."

I sat staring at the fire as Jane worked on my arm. She didn't tell me what she was doing and looking felt like it would spoil it. Kelly had gone first and had gotten what looked like a series of symbols in flames on her left forearm, as well as a thin band that wove around her wrist. Despite using something that looked like a needle on a stick, Jane worked quickly. It was pitch black outside and when I looked up I could see more stars than I expected. I was surprised that no one had come to interrupt us, but once the sun had gone down and Eric of all people saw what we were doing, we were left alone.

"I had a nightmare," I found myself saying. "At the hotel." Jane didn't pause but Kelly looked over at me. "I know I told you but, uh...it was of home. Thanksgiving. I didn't even realize it was a memory. I was with everyone and Jessica and Abby were talking to me and then suddenly they were all burning. Everything was burning and all I could smell was flesh on fire."

"Jesus," Kelly whispered.

"Yeah. I...it felt real. I couldn't save any of them. I just woke up and I...I was still here." I stared back into the fire. I didn't know why I said any of that. I had no intention of actually telling her. I just felt oddly calm.

"I have nightmares," Kelly spoke up. "It's not of home, not usually, but I'm here. I'm here and no one can see me. I try to get your attention, to get Dean's attention...nothing works."

"That sounds awful."

"It is." She looked over at me and gave me a forced smile. "Then I wake up and I'm here. I'm alive."

"I don't…" I paused, trying to figure out what I wanted to say. "I don't know how to deal with it." I saw her look so I continued. "With waking up here, with being here. I mean, I know I should be excited and happy but it's just...it's hard. Half the time I don't even feel in control of my emotions or my own mind, but when I do it just ends up hurting people. I'm not trying to hurt anyone, I just want to be safe. I don't feel safe here."

"Even with Sam?" Kelly asked.

"Sometimes with Sam, I mean, he's so big you can't help but feel surrounded," I shook my head, realizing I was wandering off-topic as Kelly laughed. "But not always. I don't know."

"I do," Kelly said. "Sort of. I mean, I told you this before. I'm constantly afraid that everything is just going to disappear. That I'm going to be left alone, unable to do anything. I've been trying to throw myself into living but there's only so much you can do. I think that's why I dream about it now…"

"Makes sense. Dreams are a way of your mind dealing with things." She looked over at me, surprised. I shrugged. "Giles said that to me or something like that, back at Bobby's."

"Ah," she nodded. "Maybe that's what your nightmare was? Trying to deal with losing home?"

"It didn't feel like that. It felt like...pain. It just hurt."

"I know," Kelly got up and sat on my empty side. "I lost them all too."

"Yeah. I think that scared me the most, talking about it with you."

"What do you mean?"

I looked away from her for a moment. "You know them. You were considered family with my sisters. It was easier to forget it all, to push it back if we didn't talk about it. If I could avoid it, then this all wasn't really happening. I didn't lose them and I'd be back."

She hit me lightly in the leg, mindful of Jane. "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard."

"It's true!"

"That doesn't mean it's not stupid. The only way to keep their memory alive is talking about it and who better but me? Who else is going to know about the time your sister went livid after someone threw sand at you? Who else knows the story about the rooster?" I hated that thing and I scowled at the memory. "I'm the only one who can tell you exactly which one you look more like. I was there at the weddings and I'm the only one who knows all the stories about the guys they tried to hook you up with."

"Ugh, that was the worst," I muttered.

"We did everything together. We still do. You're the only one who knows about the time I tried to sneak into the players' change room only to get scarred for life. You were there when we both got kicked out of the bar because the DJ tried to get me to join a threesome that one time. And you're the only one here who knows what my nephew looks like. I didn't even get to meet him." Her voice cracked at the last sentence and she looked away.

That was true. I had been invited to the baby shower and I had run into her mom, brother and sister-in-law when I was out once. I never considered that.

"I'm a terrible friend," I said. I reached over and grabbed her hand. She squeezed back. I would have hugged her but Jane was still working on my arm and I didn't want to do anything that would mess it up.

"No," she said. "You're not. We just need to talk more. I mean, come on, after everything we've been through, we can deal with this too. We have each other." There was a moment of silence before Jane spoke up.

"You have both clawed your way into this world and dug your teeth in it." Her voice was steady and sure. She moved my arm so that I was reaching for the stars then continued on the underside. "Your battles are no less ferocious if they take place in your mind than on this earth. You will carve your place here and nothing, no man or beast, shall take that from you. I sensed this life, this hunger, in you when we first met. A drive to live, whether or not you saw it in yourselves. My Goddess tasked me with this challenge and I succeed because you do. Your fight will continue and that is why I am marking you this night. These are symbols from my world proclaiming you both leaders of your tribe. They show us equal. We are united in this now, sisters, whether the Goddess bids us to stay or return to our places. We are one."

"Wow," I muttered. "That's...really nice."

"Yeah," Kelly agreed. "Might be the nicest thing someone has ever said to me."

"Hey!" I scowled at her playfully.

"When have you ever said something like 'you will carve your place and no man or beast will stop you'?" Kelly said, looking unashamed. "I feel like Eowyn now. Like I can go kick some ass."

"Want me to find you a witch-king?" I asked dryly.

"What is this witch king you speak of?" Jane asked. Kelly and I looked at each other before we delved into an explanation of The Lord of the Rings.

The sun rose as Jane finished.

The tattoo was fascinating to look at. It was a series of dark blue and green bands around my upper arm. The largest one was about an inch wide and it was filled with things like leaves, vines and symbols I didn't recognize. The others were smaller but one matched the one on Kelly's wrist perfectly. I was astounded. I didn't know how Jane had done it with only the fire as her light, but it was beautiful. I should have paid more attention to the process but Kelly and I just told stories of home. I felt lighter afterwards.

Jane gave us the day off to recover from the tattoo with a warning that training would be more intense the next day. I was looking forward to it. Jane's speech the night before, and the conversation with Kelly, had left me feeling whole. Kelly went to bed, but I stayed outside. I didn't want to lose this feeling. I watched the sunrise and tried to pray to whatever higher power was there that this was going to last.

It did not last.

"What do you want?" I stared at Lucifer. He was leaning against the wall of the school.

"Can't we talk?" he asked. He looked around. "This is where you went to school? It's not much."

I ran my tongue over my front top teeth, trying to keep myself from snapping. The school wasn't much more than a two-story, long building, but this was where I met Kelly. It meant a lot just for that. "You don't show up without a purpose. What do you want?"

"What is that?" he made a face and motioned to my arm.

"A tattoo. What does it look like?"

He turned, putting one shoulder against the wall and traced the lines between the bricks. It was an action I did as a kid, one I had seen kids repeat often. To see him do it...was strange. "You've let more vessels die." He didn't sound angry, only like he was stating a fact. "No matter, Sam will soon say yes."

"Keep thinking that." I turned and looked around. There had to be a way out of here. Last time it had been from punching a mirror and hitting a desk. I was hoping to avoid any more injuries I'd have to explain.

"I know it," Lucifer said. He pushed himself off the wall and strode towards me. "I want to thank you for your service...as halfway decent as it is."

"You're not welcome," I snapped.

His mood shifted, and whatever humour he had was gone. "Don't test me."

"Why?" I stared him down, unwilling to back down for once. I felt like I had steel in my spine from Jane's words. She had said we would carve a space for ourselves in this world. I would tear it out of him if I had to. "What are you going to do that hasn't already been done?"

He moved closer, his face inches from mine. "Do you think I can't break you?"

"You probably can," I said. "But don't think for a moment that I won't find a way to kill you first."

"You think you can kill me?" He scoffed. He moved back. "You have no idea what you're dealing with."

"Neither do you."

He laughed suddenly and turned away. "You're funny," he said, looking back and pointing at me.

"Hilarious," I deadpanned. "Let me out."

"No." He leaned back against the wall. "I cannot wait for your expression when this doesn't go the way you think it will. Save it for me. I'm going to relish it." He smirked at me. "Go on, wake up. Say hi to Kelly for me."

I narrowed my eyes. Before I could react, I woke up swinging.

"Woah!" Kelly ducked out of the way. "What the hell, Mish?"

I blinked and sat up, looking around. My heart was pounding. "Sorry," I said automatically. The dream settled in my mind and I felt myself start to hyperventilate. What did I just do?

"Are you okay?" Kelly knelt in front of me.

"I just threatened the devil," my voice was high. I tried to get my breathing under control.

"You what?"

I looked at her. Her eyes were wide. "I think I just threatened the devil," I repeated. "I didn't...he was just there and I kept thinking of Jane and I just...snapped. I guess. I told him I'd kill him."

"You did? Holy shit, Mish."

"Yeah," I nodded. My mind felt blank. I had threatened Lucifer. All because he tried to thank me. I leaned forward and put my head down.

"You're a badass." She put a hand on my shoulder.

"I feel like I'm going to throw up," I muttered. She moved over and sat next to me.

"Gross. Don't puke on me. I'm serious though. You're a fucking badass. Who else would threaten the devil?"

"The bros?"

"They don't count," Kelly said. I looked at her confused. "It's easy to be badass when death isn't permanent."

I tilted my head and half shrugged. She had a point. "Thanks."

"Come on, you gotta get ready. Eric wants us to check out the bar, see if we have any suggestions and get a feel for the place. He's meeting us there."

"Okay." Kelly helped me up. I paused. "Wait. Why do I have to get ready?"

"You're still wearing the same outfit you wore yesterday."

"...right. I'll change."

I clutched the steering wheel once we parked. The parking lot was empty but the lights of the bar shone through the windows. The car was safe. The protections I had drawn on hid us while we were in here. Once we left, we'd be exposed.

"Come on, Eric said he'd be inside."

I tried to ignore the urge to drive back to the house. I owed Eric now and part of that payment involved this bar. And people.

"You can't be afraid of a bar after threatening Lucifer," Kelly said, noticing I had yet to move.

I looked at her out of the corner of my eye. "You're not going to let me live that down, are you?"

"Nope!" She unlocked her seatbelt and opened the door. "Let's go! The faster we get in there, the sooner you can start putting up protections in the place."

That was a great point.

[tbc]